The room grew quiet around Fizz after hearing the words leave Asmodeus's lips. He could only hear his heart beating in his chest, a powerful drum that felt like it was going to burst. It was hard to breathe. He hunched over himself, looking away from Asmodeus as he tried to calm himself down, but it wasn't working. The heart I love. It kept echoing in his mind and he couldn't get rid of it. He couldn't believe he said it to him; moreover, he wished he never said it.
"Fizzy-pop?" He heard Asmodeus ask about him worryingly, noticing how sick he looked in his hand.
Fizz didn't answer at first. He was too distressed and lost in his thoughts. Eventually, he gave a small shake of his head, followed by a shaky, "P-put me down Ozzie."
The tone his voice carried perturbed Asmodeus, and he did what he asked, carrying him gently back down to the bed and placing him on the pillow. He drew his hand back to meet the other and clutched them together, then looked at him with a silent, concerned, expression. He didn't mean to upset his lover by sharing that piece of himself, and he wanted to know what was troubling him. But he wouldn't demand an answer; just calmly wait until Fizz was ready to talk.
He laid still on the pillow, eyes closed and his chest slowly rising and falling with concentrated breaths. After a good minute, his eyes opened once again and they looked over to meet Asmodeus's. When he saw the look on his face, his smile gone and his eyes curved into dismay, he could feel his heart beat faster again. He knew he couldn't ignore this.
He shook his head again and told him, "You can't be saying that to me."
Asmodeus's eyes grew wide at the bluntness of the statement. "Why not?" He asked. A simple question, one Fizz had a million answers for, but he settled with the most obvious ones that came to mind.
"Because you can't, alright? What we have now is too good to fuck up with… that." If he had his arms he would've gestured in a circular motion towards Asmodeus, but lacking them he settled on sighing instead. "Besides, you could do so much better."
"Fizzy…" Asmodeus breathed out, somewhat shocked at how he talked about himself.
"It's true, don't try to act surprised. Like, ok, I got heart, whatever. But that can't be enough, not for someone like you."
Asmodeus didn't understand the implication of that statement. "Someone like me? What do you mean?"
Fizz was starting to become irritated, his questioning showed he wasn't getting what he was trying to tell him. So he made it clear.
With a more annoyed tone, he said, "I mean you're a Goetia. And I'm an imp. That shit just doesn't work." He turned away from him again, rolling over onto his side. "Not to mention what something like this would do to your reputation. Nobody would ever take you seriously again if they think we're anything more than… what we are."
A silence hung between them for a moment, Fizz believing he finally got his point across. Then he felt the bed shifting as Asmodeus slid closer to him, and he laid down behind him. He could feel his warmth radiating on his back. A part of him wanted to turn to him to seek it out, but he didn't budge; instead he anticipated his inevitable rebuttal.
"Baby, since when have you given a damn about what other people think?" Asmodeus asked, like Fizz expected. "Whatever happens to my rep I'll be fine; falling in love doesn't even meet the top ten controversial things I've done. Besides, if you were truly concerned about public opinion, how come you never stopped me when we got more than a little… close?"
Fizz clenched and unclenched his jaw, he should've known it wouldn't be that easy to dispel him. So he decided to reveal why his confession of love truly upset him.
"That's different and you know it," he said hoarsely. "It isn't just about other people either. It's about me."
He could feel Asmodeus shift again, possibly to get a better look at him, as if by reading his back he could figure out the meaning behind his words. Fizz saved him time and told him outright.
"You aren't the first person I've been with. I've tried to have… something with other people. But every time it got serious with them, they always had some excuse to end it completely. All of them, every single one, got sick of me eventually."
He rolled himself back over so he was facing Asmodeus again, his body nearly coming into contact with him with how close he got. This proximity allowed Asmodeus to get a good look at his partner, and he saw sadness had returned to his eyes once more. He could feel this start to affect him, but before he could attempt to comfort him Fizz made one last comment.
"That's why what we have is so good. I can't have you get sick of me too. I… I don't want to be thrown away again."
Asmodeus could feel his heart twinge in pain at his sullen words. He understood now why Fizz was so against his expression of love, and why in the past he's always kept his distance; never suggesting or asking for anything more between them beyond sex. Even though he acknowledged his feelings, he still couldn't ignore his, and he tried to convince him of their legitimacy.
"Fizzy," he said softly, slowly reaching a hand over to cradle his back. He wasn't sure if he wanted to be held now after his earlier panic, but when he didn't push away at his touch he held his hand there.
"I would never get rid of you, " he continued, making sure the conviction could be heard in his voice. "You mean a lot to me, I've said as much haven't I?"
Fizz still wasn't convinced, and he quickly shot back, "How can I trust that? That you truly feel like that towards me?"
Although his continued doubt hurt him somewhat, Asmodeus ignored his feelings for the sake of comforting the imp in his hand. "I have rarely felt love before you Fizzarolli. With the few I have felt that way towards, I have always been with them. Until they decided to end the relationship or… they eventually passed on. I give you my word Fizzy, that you'll be no different. As long as you choose to be by my side, I will love you and never leave you."
The words flowed fast and softly from Asmodeus's tongue, and it caught Fizz off-guard for a moment. The way he said them sounded more like a wedding vow than a promise. But it wasn't just the tone he used that caught him by surprise, it was the first thing he said. I have rarely felt love before you Fizzarolli.
It never occurred to him that he had felt this way before. He was known as the embodiment of lust after all, not love. Simple pleasures were what he was known for, and what Fizz believed was all he ever craved. The fact he could want more than that gave him pause. He knew him well enough now that when Asmodeus felt something, it was with the strongest of feeling. Unlike him, he never shied away from being open about his desires. So if he was saying he loved him, he must mean it truly, right?
As soon as the question popped into his head he scrubbed it from his mind. He knew from experience that that was just wishful thinking talking. Sure, maybe his feelings towards him now are true. But would they ever hold? The flood of negative memories, that he thought he would never revisit, were all telling him otherwise.
"Promises don't mean anything to me Ozzie," Fizz whispered with a bow of his head, "I'm sorry. Too many have made promises and broken them, too many change. You'll change too, I know it."
Fizz curled into himself, trying to avoid Asmodeus's gaze. He could still feel it on him regardless. He believed it was a look of disappointment at his response. It wasn't like he could say he didn't feel this same way. He wanted to say he loved him too, after all the time they spent together feelings like that have bubbled up more than once. But he's played this game before, more than enough times to know he always loses. And of all the people he's lost, he couldn't risk losing him. So even now he keeps that part of himself locked away.
Asmodeus looked at the imp tucked in his hand. It wasn't with disappointment, but the same heartbreaking look he had been wearing throughout their conversation. He started to question if sharing his affection was the right choice. He had honestly hoped to do this under better circumstances, but after everything that had happened in just a short amount of time he couldn't help but let it all out. He feared losing him, and he tried to express that fear by telling Fizz how much he meant to him. Now he worried he messed up what they had, and he knew he had to fix it.
That's when an idea crossed his mind, one that he hoped would comfort Fizz and account for both their feelings.
"What if we tried to take this slow?" Asmodeus asked.
Fizz heard the question, tears forming in his eyes. He still wasn't understanding what he had been saying to him. He hoped he would've dropped the conversation entirely by now. Regardless of their feelings towards each other, it was fruitless trying to pretend like they can make something work.
"Ozzie…" He choked out, trying to reject whatever he was suggesting.
"Just hear me out," Asmodeus said, his voice smoothly cutting in and asking him to listen. Fizz could feel his hand stroking his head, and all he could do was shudderingly sigh in response. He knew Asmodeus would never push him to do something he didn't want to do, so with a small nod he agreed to listen to what he had to say.
"Thank you," Asmodeus said, continuing to pet him. "Don't get me wrong Fizz, I understand your feelings. Why you feel like I can't love you, or rather, that I shouldn't. But now that you know how I feel about you it would be hard to pretend like nothing was ever said."
Fizz silently acknowledged he had a point. He could fake it externally, sure. He had been for most of his life. But he knew his confession would always be in the back of his mind. Throughout every performance at Ozzie's, and every encounter with Asmodeus, he would remember this moment. It would be something he could never forget.
Asmodeus continued, "Since you have your doubts, however, I won't act any differently from how I do now and nothing will change between us. You'll still be my shining star at Ozzie's, and I'll still be your boss, and lover," he said with a wink. Fizz caught it and almost felt himself smile at the comment. "But if you ever feel like… trying to go further, then we can. It will all be at your pace."
His soothing touch, and his calm proposal, helped quell Fizz's fearful thoughts somewhat. They also made him truly think on what he suggested, rather than deny it outright. It wasn't a terrible idea, he liked where they were and wanted to stay there as long as possible. If they were to go at his pace he doubted it would go any further than what he wanted, which was their current relationship. But once more he felt insecure, and new thoughts crawled into his mind.
What if he did want more? What if one day he accepts being more than just a plaything for Asmodeus, and they become a legitimate couple? How would that road end? The answer to that question was obvious to him, and already he could feel the doubt escaping from his mouth.
"I… I don't know…"
Asmodeus expected this answer, and like Fizz thought he didn't push him for more. "You don't have to give me an answer now. Just, say you'll think about it? If you decide that's still too much, then we can try to move past this. Chalk this up to an awkward experience."
He gave a forced chuckle, as if to bring home how awkward this experience already was. It made Fizz cough a small laugh, and he looked back up at Asmodeus, his eyes now dry.
As soon as their eyes met, Asmodeus brought him closer and whispered, "Whatever your decision, you'll still be the most important person in my life. No one can replace you, remember that."
Another vow, another promise. Yet despite what he told him earlier, Fizz could feel himself tearing up again, and he buried his face into the comfort of the Goetia's body. Asmodeus felt this and his arms wrapped tighter around him, a shield that protected him from the world, from his very thoughts. Although he still had his doubts, Asmodeus's persistence in convincing him worked. He wasn't ready to say yes outright, he doubted he would for a long time, but for now he accepted his request.
"Alright, I guess I'll think about it," he said, his voice somewhat muffled in Asmodeus's fur.
He could tell Asmodeus was pleased by this answer, as he replied, "Take all the time you need."
-One Week Later-
Asmodeus stood up from the large workbench, a relieved smile on his face. Fizzarolli sat on top of the expanse of smooth wood, among the random sheets of blueprints detailing various projects that have been worked on or were currently being developed. Some of which he knew personally, whether from Ozzie's or having used them himself. But that wasn't what currently had his attention.
After all the time he spent with Asmodeus his new prosthetics had finally come in, fresh off the factory belt in Greed, designed explicitly to Asmodeus's plans. And he had just finished installing them onto the sockets that were attached to the end of each of his stumps. Fizz thanked Lucifer that those weren't damaged during the fight; replacing them would be far more painful than the limbs. Although they still gave a small shock every time limbs were inserted.
"And that should be it," Asmodeus said proudly, wiping his forehead. "Your arms and legs are fully connected. It would take an angelic weapon to destroy them now."
Fizz flexed an arm and raised an eyebrow doubtingly at his claim, causing Asmodeus to sheepishly correct himself. "Ok, maybe I'm exaggerating a bit. But they are far tougher than your old ones, and more powerful to boot."
Fizz smiled at this, and he decided to put his new appendages to use. His legs extended down to the floor, connecting with forceful metal clangs. Then he got off the workspace, keeping himself extended so he was eye-level with the Goetia. All three heads looked happily at him, pleased to see that they were working so far and Fizz was easily getting the hang of them.
"You said they were more powerful, right?" Fizz asked in a sly tone.
Before Asmodeus could pick up what he was trying to say with that question, Fizz had wrapped his arms under his thighs and back. With some effort, he picked the Goetia slightly off the ground, much to his delight.
"Fizzy!" He laughed heartily. Fizz wanted to laugh with him, but he could feel he may have jumped the gun too fast trying to lift Asmodeus. Despite the upgrade to his arms and legs, his body was still all imp, and he could already feel the strain in his muscles.
So he slowly put Asmodeus back on the ground, trying to make the struggle in doing so not apparent on his face. Once he was on his feet, he breathed out a laugh with him, and he settled on wrapping his arms around Asmodeus's neck , pulling himself up to him. As he drew close, Asmodeus's laughs subsided and Fizz watched him meet his gaze while he continued to wrap himself around him. As usual his eyes were filled with the lust typical of his character. Fizz could tell he had several ideas running through his head about how they would put these new prosthetics to use later.
A large hand came to stroke Fizz's face, and he gratefully rested into it. This touch was then followed by a question.
"Don't take this as me trying to shove you out the door, but when were you planning on going back to your place? I know that you'll want to leave sometime today, and I'd like to walk you back if you don't mind."
It was somewhat out of the blue, but after thinking about it Fizz realized he had spent the entire week here, with Asmodeus by his side most of the time while he was recovering. No doubt he had his share of work to catch up on that he wasn't telling him about, instead pointing out his insistence in living separately. But as he thought about the time he spent here, not just sleeping with Asmodeus but exploring the house with his assistance, he asked himself if he truly wanted to go back to living alone. He then remembered the suggestion Asmodeus posed to him.
It will all be at your pace.
He hadn't really thought about it much since Asmodeus first told him his feelings, and even still he wasn't ready to consider attempting a romantic relationship. But, he did like the idea of going at his own pace, and that at least was something he could do. He remembered Asmodeus had offered him residence here in the past; maybe that offer was still on the table.
"Actually, there's something you said that I've been thinking about."
His statement was too vague, and already he could tell Asmodeus was drawing the wrong conclusion from his words as his grin widened. He quickly elaborated.
"Woah, wait, not that Oz," he said with an awkward chuckle. "I'm honestly still not sure about that."
His continued vagueness only served to confuse him, and when his expression reflected that Fizz finally figured out what to say. "I was just thinking about all those times you asked me to live with you. If you're still okay with that, then I was wondering if I could? I really liked being here this week. A lot. It'd be a shame for the fun to stop now. Besides, I never really liked that crappy apartment anyways."
Although it wasn't what he initially expected, Asmodeus was happy once more at what Fizz asked of him. His other two heads reflected this positive energy as they gave wide smiles that made Fizz blush.
"Of course baby," Asmodeus said, trying not to let his giddiness come through, "I'd love to have you. From now on my palace is as much yours as it is mine. We'll just have to go get your things from the old place."
He moved the two of them towards the door, but then Fizz unraveled his legs from Asmodeus's waist and slammed them into the ground, stopping them.
"We can worry about that later, Oz. First, I think a proper housewarming is in order."
He smiled up at him, biting his lip, and it was obvious to Asmodeus what he meant. Still, he decided to tease him. "Oh? I would have thought you would've seen the whole house by now."
Fizz cackled softly, playing into the tease, "I have, I have. But there was one area I don't think was explored enough."
He ended his sultry words by snaking an arm down along Asmodeus's body and reaching lower towards a more interesting part of his body. That was all the encouragement the lust demon needed, as he grabbed Fizz by the waist and pulled him up for a kiss. It was forceful and a little sloppy, just how he liked it. Fizz accepted it and kissed him back with just as much force. The two immediately got lost in each other, and soon they found themselves falling onto the floor of the workshop. Looks like they would be putting the prosthetics through their paces sooner than expected.
