I wasn't excited for high school. I was excited for college. If it had been up to me I would have skipped high school and moved on to college immediately. But they don't just let fourteen year olds go to college. Especially not fourteen year olds like my self who were only slightly above average grade wise.
"Ugh," I whined, lounging on the couch next to Inuyasha, Saturday morning the week before high school started.
"Oh quit your complaining," he chastised, digging his hand into a box of cereal and eating it plain. "It won't be that bad."
He was almost certainly right, but that wasn't the point. The point was I was dreading our first day of classes. I was upset. Inuyasha and I only had a few classes together. I blamed him. He and Miroku and their inane desire to try "metal shop."
Like… could you be any more of a stereotypical teenage boy? Metal shop?
Sango had convinced me to take an introduction to culinary course with her. She was thinking about becoming a chef and wanted to make sure she actually enjoyed cooking before dedicating herself to it, which was fair. But, in order to take said class with her it had required me to move some things around. Some things being my courses with Inuyasha.
I had never cared for high school before, but then, knowing that I wouldn't get to see him as much, I really didn't like it. The problem was that Inuyasha didn't seem even the slightest bit bothered by it.
"Ugh!" I repeated, dramatically falling back into the couch.
Inuyasha stopped his chewing for five seconds, gold gaze looking over at me with a single raised brow. "You're hogging the blanket again."
I rolled my head to the side to see him more clearly and narrowed my gaze at him before gripping the blanket and pulling more of it onto me.
"Really?" He challenged dryly. "You're upset about going to high school so you take it out on me by stealing the blanket?"
"Mmhmm."
"Real mature, Kags." Inuyasha sneered. I waited though. I knew him better than I knew myself. He was going to sit there for two seconds, think about letting me get away with the blanket thievery, then reach out and steal the whole thing from me.
See, as a half-demon he'd always been stronger than normal. But for a single millisecond in our relationship I had had a growth spurt and was not only a little taller than him, but our strength was matched. He had hated it. With a passion.
Well… this past summer he had had a major growth spurt and was now not only several inches taller than me but significantly stronger too.
I still remember the day he'd realized he could overpower me with the ease that a hot knife cuts through butter. Inuyasha had had the most wicked smile I think I'd ever seen on him. Every day since he took immeasurable joy in exploiting his advantages as a boy and as a half-demon over me, a weak little human girl.
A very regal and innately powerful, human queen though, of course.
It fascinated me to no end that my scrawny best friend had that much strength in his noodle arms.
This is how I knew that when he briefly looked back over at me, not even caring to put down the cereal he held in one hand, that I was about to be left blanket-less and cold.
"Don't…" I warned, noticing his free hand creeping over to the edge of the blanket near me. "Yash…"
"Yes, Kags?"
"Don't…"
"Don't what?" He asked, feigning innocence. He was so predictable.
"Don't take the blanket!" I whined, clutching it to my chest, "please?! I'm cold…"
"Oh… I wonder what that's like!" He scoffed. I felt his hand grip the fabric just above my thigh and I sighed dramatically, knowing that I had mere seconds before he was going to overpower me.
Rude, but I still loved him.
"I'll share!" I suddenly exclaimed, lifting my hands in truce. "I'll share the blanket."
He rolled his eyes, but lifted his hand from my thigh all the same. We were already practically sitting on top of each other as we watched the shows, but I scooted closer, pressing my legs against his and tossing half the blanket over him. He grinned in content then went back to eating cereal from the box without milk.
My king was a heathen. Plain and simple. My favorite heathen though… Not like little bitch who was a heathen in a totally different manner of speaking.
"Inuyasha!"
I rolled my eyes. It was my brother, Sota. He loved Inuyasha. Like… so much so that sometimes I worried that my affection for my best friend was negligible in comparison.
My king looked over at Sota just as my little brother came crashing into him. This in turn caused Inuyasha to fall over on to me, bits of dry cereal breaking free, briefly flying through the air and landing on yours truly.
"Great," I muttered, glaring over at my brother who was shoving his handheld gaming device in Inuyasha's face, completely oblivious to the dried wheat bits that littered my chest and lap, or at least the part of my lap where Inuyasha's head wasn't taking up.
"Look! Look! I beat it! I finally beat it!" Sota exclaimed.
"Great job," Inuyasha responded, blinking rapidly and trying to focus on the screen that was too close to his face.
Sota pulled it back and sighed loudly, his expression the epitome of nirvana as the soft music from the game played in the background.
"Awesome, now that he's shown you his game thing, can you… get off?" I sneered, looking down at Inuyasha.
"Nah," he replied, lifting the box up and continuing to eat.
"Excuse you!"
"What? I'm comfy," he grinned mischievously.
There was no winning with him. Whether it be over the blanket or this. So… I retaliated in the only way I knew how… I started dropping the pieces of cereal on his face. Don't get me wrong, I did so gently. I wasn't out to hurt my obnoxious king, just inconvenience him. The first landed on his nose and he twitched. Then I placed one on his eye, which he picked off. Then… well then I got an idea.
Giggling to myself, I placed one of the pieces on his ear.
"Hey!" Inuyasha hissed, his ear flicking as he abruptly sat up. "That's cheap."
I shrugged, "aw, you can dish it but you can't take it?" I teased, reaching up and rubbing the ear I so rudely offended.
He pulled away from my touch immediately.
I had forgotten. Inuyasha hated when people touched his ears. He used to let me play with them all the time. Correction, I didn't really play with them so much as rub and massage them or help him keep them warm. As kids, he never wore a hat in winter. It was pretty common place for me to use my mitten-clad hands to shield his ears from the cold. But, recently, Inuyasha had been getting pretty defensive over them.
So, when I had reached up to rub them, out of habit I think, he pulled away from me quickly.
I frowned a little, "I'm sorry… I forgot…"
He had narrowed his eyes at me, but didn't otherwise say anything. He just leaned back against me, before helping me pick off the cereal that was in my lap as the next cartoon came on. My king wasn't always one to speak his feelings, but as he settled in next to me I knew I was forgiven for my indiscretion. I still found it odd that he no longer let me touch it them but that was a conversation for a different day. Saturday cartoons were our ritual and I had no intention of ruining it.
"Don't worry about high school," he murmured, eyes fixed forward, watching the silly cartoon like we did every Saturday after our sleepover. "It won't be any different and it'll be over before you know it."
Lies. It would be different and it stretched on for far too long.
Sango clapped her hands loudly in front of her, a magnificent smile covering her splendid face, as we walked to our elective. We were a week into the fall semester of our freshmen year and, well, I was still adjusting.
I knew it was silly, to miss my king so much, but I missed him. For the better part of ten years he had been by my side, through everything. I just… I just wanted to share it all with him. Everything. Was that really so bad or hard to understand?
Like this kid in one of my classes liked to steal and nibble on uncooked pasta - I know, real strange, also a little concerning because I think that stuff expands in your stomach but anyway… There were just things - like that - that I couldn't share with him anymore and things that he didn't share with me. I found it frustrating and frankly depressing. We had shared so much but that sentiment was beginning to wane. To put it simply, I didn't like it.
Sango was great though. She was ecstatic. Having a grand ol' time in the class and really enjoying everything that it had to offer. At least, she enjoyed all the parts between telling me to stop sighing so much.
"I re-read the syllabus last night," she gushed as she pushed through the throng of students on our way to the elective wing of the building.
"Why?" I asked, genuinely concerned. Who was that excited about a syllabus? My friends were all weirdos, clearly. But what did that say about me? I mean… they were my friends…
"Because," she remarked, "it all sounds like so much fun! I can't wait to get out of the basics. I know what a frying pan is… can we actually fry something?!"
"Some people might not know," I tried to reason, only half paying attention as I checked my phone again. Nothing. Inuyasha had promised to text me more throughout the day, but it seemed he had forgotten…
"Hey, Earth to Kagome!" Sango had muttered, grabbing my shoulder and forcing me to look at her. Her mulberry eyes immediately dropped down to examine the screen on my phone. She caught me red handed, staring longingly at the last messages I had sent Inuyasha prior to the previous class.
I knew she wanted to roll her eyes or maybe even physically shake some sense into me, but she didn't. Sango just sighed dramatically and kept walking.
"What?" I asked, irately.
"No, nope, don't worry about it Kagome." She muttered, walking through the threshold of the classroom. "Just, you know… maybe get your head out of your phone and try to enjoy the class. I know it's not as alluring as metal shop or whatever, but if you stopped thinking about Inuyasha for ten seconds you might actually have a little fun."
"He said he'd text me," I whined, instantly hearing how pathetic I sounded. "I just… miss him. It's weird."
We took our seats and Sango leveled that heavy gaze me at. We were only a week in and she was so over my longing and constant yearning to be reunited with my best friend. "Kagome… this is your chance to branch out. See people besides Inuyasha. I mean… this is high school… we should be enjoying it! Not living in our phones."
"Yeah well… what's so great about 'high school'?" I sneered, looking back at her with the same disdain she was using when referring to the way I always sought out my king, as if it was a bad thing to do that.
Sango was always straight to the point. It was a quality I highly valued in Inuyasha, and it was one that I also appreciated in her. A lot of people like to tell you what you want to hear but not the truth. Not Sango though. She'd tell you what was up even if you didn't ask, because with Sango, there was no time to waste. Every moment, every minute, every second, was an opportunity and she was determined to lap it up. She didn't have time to side step around your ego and/or your misplaced pride.
This woman, the woman who looked at life as a challenge to be conquered, as soon as I asked that question, her whole demeanor shifted. She was no longer bored, disinterested, and annoyed with my actions, but she seemed suddenly inspired.
She tilted her head toward me, that mulberry gaze narrowing ever-so-slightly, a devious glint in her eye, and a mischievous smirk to match. Then she let me in on the secret. "What's so great about high school?" She repeated, voice dripping with suspense and intrigue, "dating."
I rolled my eyes immediately. Really? That was her answer? Absurd.
"What's so great about that?" I asked.
I knew why she was excited. Her parents were more strict than my mother was. Her parents had established very clear ground rules early on. Well, really… they'd set up one rule: no boys. Period.
She'd had a crush on this kid, Kuranosuke Takeda, for all of eighth grade and now that she was in high school her parents were giving her an inch of freedom. She intended to stretch that inch out as far as it would go. Their rules had never really stopped her to begin with though. Sango and Kuranosuke were dating in all but name.
Sango leaned in toward me, the same look of mischief coloring her expression, "Kagome… maybe… if you stopped checking your phone every five seconds waiting for your friend to text you back… you could, you know, spot something or some one you like…" She spoke slowly, each syllable thick with a tone I only recognized from movies. It was seductive and heady, and it sent a small chill down my spine.
My friend was, evidently, a thirsty bitch. And she wanted me to be on team thirsty with her.
"Or, you know, just jump Inuyasha's bones and make that official." Sango just… tossed that comment out there like it was something as mundane and expected as eating lunch together. Then, then she leaned back in her chair, a single brow raised as she watched my expression not the least bit bothered by her scandalous and provocative suggestion.
I gaped immediately. How dare she! Inuyasha and I were friends! She of all people knew that! "No," I spat out, glaring at her. "Sango, don't do that. He and I are friends."
"Oh, I am very aware of that."
"Sango," I warned. Every one else could say whatever they wanted, but I really couldn't handle that… that… doubt… that accusation… from her. I got it enough from Naraku and everyone else.
"Just, do me a favor," she replied gently, "don't forget to take stock of what is right in front of you… or who is right in front of you."
I hated what Sango said and how she'd said it to me. She had been so… so… cavalier… so… dismissive… so… smug.
And also… so fucking right.
Jerk.
It took all of ten seconds for me to develop a crush. Like, one moment I was just sitting there and then I looked up and it hit me across the face; I was dumbstruck. Inuyasha was telling me something, but I wasn't listening. I was just… staring. The brilliant eyes. The light hair. The face of an angel. I'd never understood the idea of Cupid coming in and shooting you with an arrow full of feelings until right then. It was extraordinary.
I was in math, which, really, was the worst class ever but made suddenly better on that day.
I have no recollection of what ridiculous metal shop story Inuyasha was trying to tell me, I just remember sighing and looking across the room. And… sitting right there, off to the side, was a boy with deep sapphire eyes that rivaled the depths of the ocean, sandy brown hair that looked about as delicious as caramel, and a smile so disgustingly sweet that it put puppies to shame.
He looked like the human equivalent of a Cinnabon. And I wanted a bite.
"Oi!" Inuyasha snapped, literally. Like he snapped his fingers in front of my face. He was not pleased with me. Apparently, I had been overtly drooling over my new sugar craving.
"Hmm?" I mumbled, slowly dragging my gaze back over to him, pretending that I had been paying attention the entire time.
He was glaring at me.
"Seriously? You complain for a week straight about how I don't text you or talk to you enough and now, when I'm actually talking to you, you're off in la-la land?" Inuyasha growled.
"S-sorry, I was just thinking about something that Sango told me," I admitted.
Inuyasha rolled his eyes and shook his head, but then I watched his gaze flit over to where I had been looking before landing on my Cinnabon. I swallowed hard and pursed my lips. There were a number of reasons that my king and I were so close, one of the main ones being that he could read me like a book. Normally, I was able to decipher him just as well, but at that moment I hadn't been able to. His bright eyes became suddenly darker and his playful scowl - yes, he has a playful scowl, I know… it's weird - became serious.
But when he looked back at me, I felt a heat. It was scorching and caustic, not at all the type of comforting warmth I was accustomed to finding in his eyes.
"What exactly were you and Sango talking about?" Inuyasha hissed, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning in.
Nothing about his expression or posture was joking or teasing like I was used to. There was always a sort of… lightness to the way Inuyasha spoke with me. I knew he could rip a person apart, physically and verbally, but even during our worst fights he never tore me to shreds. Never so much as came close to it.
But at that moment… I couldn't tell the difference between the Inuyasha that had threatened others when they picked on me and the one that was glowering back at me. The current in his voice, I had heard it before, but only used on other people. Never on his queen. It… it caught me off guard.
"She's really excited about dating," I replied.
He opened his mouth to speak, but I would never hear what his retort was. Inuyasha's response was cut off by our math teacher taking control of the classroom and beginning our instruction for the day.
Instead, I just watched him growl and sit back in his chair, glaring forward, leg bouncing incessantly at his side. He seemed genuinely agitated, but, at the time, I could not fathom why.
The denial ran so deep I had even genuinely thought that maybe he was experiencing some male or adolescent form of P.M.S. I let it slide off my shoulders and didn't think much of it even though I should have taken it seriously.
I should have heeded Sango's warning and taken a second look at who was not in front of me… but beside me.
That Friday evening I was running around my house like a chicken with my head cut off. Why? Because it was our anniversary and Inuyasha was coming over. To be fair, he and I hung out every Friday night. We'd been having sleep overs for almost a decade and it was my week to host him. But that Friday was special. It was the anniversary of the date he and I had met on the playground. We did something special every year and exchanged little nothings to commemorate our unbreakable bond.
I had it all planned. Ramen - only the best for my king - and some "scary" movies from like the 70s because he really enjoyed poking fun at the special effects. But, I had run into an issue with the ramen…
If you know anything about Inuyasha it's that he loves ramen. I cannot overstate that enough. Like… those candy hearts he's always eating? He would let all the candy hearts in the world and all available supplies to make them burn to the ground in order to protect his precious ramen. As his queen, I knew that. So it was a big deal to me that the ramen be good. Which is why when my mother came in to talk to me while I was trying to fix my fuck up with said ramen I was a little less than thrilled.
"Kagome?"
"What?" I snapped, not even turning away from the counter. I was too busy taking stock of the ingredients and trying to ascertain the exact moment I ruined his special dinner. I had been prepping this for weeks! Trying out different variations of recipes and had finally settled on a good one… until I had messed it up. Ugh.
"I'd like to have a brief conversation with you before grandpa gets back from picking up Sota and before Inuyasha arrives."
I should have known right then and there that that little "conversation" was going to be far worse than my ramen issue, but I was too absorbed in my process, measuring and re-measuring the ingredients to try and see which one I had put too much of in the freaking pot and how best to dilute it.
"Okay," I muttered back, ignorant of the way my mother sat at the kitchen table, crossing her legs and bringing her hands together in the same way that condescending businessmen do when they are about to talk down to you. It was the universal symbol that your doom was imminent, but I had been too wrapped up in making the night perfect for my king to notice.
Are you sensing a theme here? Evidently, I had a pattern of missing looking at the wrong things at the wrong time, missing what was so obviously staring at me. Like my mother and the hesitance she exhibited recognizing that a shift was taking place whereas I was fixated on some silly soup both purposefully and unintentionally failing to see the writing on the wall.
"So, you and Inuyasha have started high school, and I'm sure that your, uh, your health curriculum will cover things, but Izayoi and I have talked…"
I paused, looking up and away from the food in front of me, wondering why the hell my amazing mother had mentioned our tender ages and "health" classes. That was when it hit me… that that wasn't a normal conversation… but a "birds and the bees" style conversation. The type of conversation that had my skin crawling and stomach flipping threatening to send the contents of my lunch into the broth I had so carefully put together. I turned around slowly, blinking quickly, already feeling my lungs constrict.
Of all the days to bring that up… they just had to do so on our anniversary. Rude. Not to mention entirely unnecessary.
The last time she and Izayoi "talked" it had resulted in us sleeping on couches instead of being able to sleep in the same bed together. This little chat of theirs meant that they were imposing new restrictions on our relationship under the guise that because I was a girl and he was a boy and we spent every second we could together that we needed extra supervision.
They were instituting new rules. On our anniversary. To say that I was livid was an understatement.
"Mom," I tried, her title coming out more as a plea than anything else.
"If you two hang out in your room, the door needs to remain open at all times-"
"Mom!" What did she think we were going to do?! Le sex. Clearly, but fat chance of that ever happening between us. Did she not understand our relationship?! First Sango and now my own mother was doubting the platonic nature of our friendship? It was down right primitive. And exhausting. Couldn't a queen just make her king a special dinner to commemorate the day they met nine years prior without people jumping to asinine conclusions?!
"And-"
Oh god there was more…
"No boys are allowed to be over if grandpa or I are not here-"
Okay, whatever. The only other boy I knew was Miroku, so… not a big loss there.
"-this rule includes Inuyasha."
"Wait what?!" I shouted, "what is happening?!"
"Kagome, you are fourteen now, almost fifteen, and things are… different."
I hated the way she emphasized that word, as if my king and I were just your average peons who gave into temptation or would sully our majestic bond with sexual deviancy.
"How?! Look, I totally get not having random guys over without an adult, but Inuyasha? Inuyasha?! He's basically your other son!"
"I understand this may seem unfair-"
"That's an understatement," I sneered, staring at her. "Not to mention stupid."
"Kagome," my mother continued, her voice as soft and empathetic as humanly possible. "These are not to be accusatory in any way. You and Inuyasha are growing up… growing up doesn't always mean more freedom. It also means more responsibility."
"Okay, but this isn't like 'hey, Kagome, you're going to get some extra chores' or something, these are unfair limitations on my friendship with Inuyasha! It's not like he and I would ever do anything! You act like we are nothing more than rabbits with a single focus! And that's not what we are!" I understood the basis of the rules. I did. I understood why she wouldn't want guys coming over. It was for my protection. It was her job to shield me and teach me during a very important time in my mental, physical, and emotional development, but Inuyasha wasn't just any guy. He was my king. For fuck's sake I had seen that kid covered in blood, I'd smelled his farts, I'd seen him shove his face into a cake just because. I'd even seen him naked before - but I wasn't going to tell her about that. I felt like that probably would have been counter productive at that particular time.
Just so you know, I had seen him naked once and that had happened totally by accident. Our families liked to take summer vacation together and we had rented a beach house one summer. I thought it was Sota in the bathroom taking too long to shower and just burst in because I needed to pee. Like… my bladder was seconds from rupturing and that was the only bathroom in the entire house type of pee. So, I walked in with my eyes shut and announced myself - I'm not a heathen - but you can imagine my surprise and horror when instead of my brother's voice yelling at me to "get the fuck out" it was Inuyasha. I opened my eyes as a reflex and… well… that's that story.
The point was… Inuyasha wasn't just any kid with raging hormones. I'd already seen him naked and hadn't had the urge to - as Sango so nicely put it - "jump his bones". He was… Yash. He was my king and my best friend. The rules felt offensive and unnecessarily limiting.
"He's still a boy, Kagome." She stated it gently but so firmly at the same time that I knew there was no questioning it.
I huffed loudly in response, because, really, I wasn't going to win this argument. I could see that, to my utter disdain. It was more than a little frustrating, which is probably how I burned the ramen, but I no longer cared. Things were changing all around me a lot faster than I expected and I didn't like it. I just wanted to hang out with Inuyasha without Sango breathing down my neck to enjoy the splendors of dating that I had no interest in and without our mothers insinuating that my king and I had any desire to permanently plunder the walls of the kingdom we'd built by succumbing to hormones.
I loved him and the space we were in, but it had seemed like everything and everyone else around me were trying to drag me in different directions.
Inuyasha arrived for our weekly sleepover forty minutes later, looking about as surly as I felt. He walked in and barely mumbled "bye" to his mother. She gave me a quick wave and my mother a knowing glance, but they both smiled still. They had succeeded in placing another fissure between us and making us feel ostracized for the type of relationship we had. Their job was done and they left us alone to wallow in our shared misery.
"You got a 'talk' too?" I asked as he rather aggressively plopped down onto the couch next to me.
"Yup," he growled, shaking his head and crossing his arms tightly over his chest.
"New door and supervision policy?"
"She told me."
"Did you throw a fit?"
"Yup."
"She didn't budge, did she?"
"Nope, not a goddam inch." He groaned, his head falling back. I looked over at him then. It was a little reassuring to see him as upset as I was over the new rules. I didn't think that these would hinder our relationship. After all, I could count on one hand the amount of times my mother and grandfather were both absent from the shrine. It was more the principle of it all that sucked. Our mothers were telling us that we couldn't be trusted. And there's nothing a teenager hates more than more rules.
I watched him take a deep breath before his nose crinkled and wriggled as he finally took in the scents of the home. "What's with the god-awful candles?"
"I have a surprise for you." I stated, giving him a weak smile. "It's our anniversary," I muttered sheepishly, fidgeting with my hands as if we didn't do this every year.
"Oh?" He asked, lifting his head up and looking at me with those warm, amber eyes that always made me feel at ease.
"Yup," I nodded, my smile growing to meet my cheeks. "Didn't want it to be ruined the moment you stepped out of the car."
One of his awesome and annoying demonic traits was his superior sense of smell. I had learned many years ago that surprising him was hard. He'd always smell it immediately and ruin weeks of planning. Countless birthday efforts had been decimated because of that man and his fucking nose.
It also took a shameful amount of time for me to realize that scents could be covered or masked. Hence the candles. Through some trial and error I had learned that the most potent fake scents were super sugary things like a chocolate cake candle - yes that's a thing that's how I hid his Christmas present the year prior, coffee-flavored scents, and cinnamon. All worked wonders in preventing him from being able to detect what was really happening.
Inuyasha had paused, his gaze narrowing and dragging over me, assessing what it could be that I was hiding from him. He leaned in closer toward me and I watched as his nose twitched. He didn't normally sniff me. It was an unfamiliar action that had surprised me, but I instantly forgot it as his eyes lit up like fireworks on the Fourth of July and his previous frown exploded into a broad, toothy grin.
I groaned, "that's cheating! You can't smell me!"
"You made ramen," he exclaimed, goofy smile still in place as he practically vibrated next to me in excitement. His whole body was suddenly thrumming in anticipation. I could feel it as I sat next to him.
See what I mean now? See? He didn't even see the damn food and Inuyasha was already on the verge of busting out of his own body to get at it. He loved ramen.
"Yes, but… before you get too excited-"
"No! Don't tell me 'it's for later'!" He whined, rolling his head and sighing loudly.
"If you would let me finish," I hissed, "I… may have… burned… it… a little."
"Oh, but we can have it now?"
One track mind, I swear. Thank god he was only interested in ramen and not sex, because otherwise speaking with him would be impossible.
"Yes," I answered, rolling my eyes. "Just let me-"
He was up and out of his seat in a blink of an eye, leaving me in the dust.
"Or not…" I muttered, slowly getting to my feet, though still thankful his interest was in food.
He had bounded quickly into the kitchen where my mother was pulling out the ramen that we had covered to keep warm and also prevent the scent from carrying. Inuyasha, oblivious and overly eager, was standing over her shoulder, switching from side to side as he watched her make us each a bowl.
I rolled my eyes, but smiled all the same. It was endearing to see him so genuinely excited. I was still nervous… I had burnt the thing after all the effort and planning. All because our parents were intent on establishing rudimentary boundaries.
As soon as my mother placed the bowl in his hand, Inuyasha dropped himself at the table and began shoveling it in his mouth. I sat down quietly after him, waiting for any reaction other than his mouth unhinging like a snake's as he tossed noddles and broth down his gullet. It was almost impressive, but also… really gross.
My king…
"Is it… okay?" I finally asked, after waiting a few minutes having expected him to come up for air at some point, but that had been a false hope.
He nodded and didn't otherwise say anything.
I shrugged it off, but started eating mine. It wasn't bad, it just wasn't as good as I had hoped. Oh well, I figured there was always the following year and Inuyasha didn't seem the least bit bothered.
"Ah," he exclaimed, only after he finished his entire bowl. "I have something for you," Inuyasha muttered pulling out a small box from his pocket. He passed it across the table, while eyeing the rest of the ramen still in my bowl.
I pushed my unfinished bowl over to him and took the box. It was a little surprising to see because the box looked like… well, it looked nice. It was a rich color and embossed with a silver insignia on it for a fancy jeweler in town. Not at all typical of our normal gifts.
Every year I gave him an extra box of candy hearts and typically did something for him. See, my king wasn't really interested in… stuff. Inuyasha liked food and experiences. Hence the movies, ramen, and candies. And, normally, he got me a ring pop and some little gag gift from an inside joke. Like the year that I had walked in on him and saw him naked? He got me a towel and sunglasses where the lenses were so dark you literally couldn't see. I still had both of those.
As he devoured my ramen, I had slowly opened the box and gasped lightly. On the side of the box, there was a ring pop, but it was the necklace that I had been really stunned by. It was brilliant, though simple. A single rose-gold maple leaf with hints of red along the veins of the leaf. It was one of the most exquisite things I had ever seen, but… I couldn't think of anything from our previous year that related to a maple leaf or jewelry.
I was stumped, impressed too, but stumped nevertheless.
I looked up at him, the delicate pendant resting between my index finger and thumb. "Yash," I murmured, trying to get his attention. When he didn't look up or away from the damn bowl, I tried again with more force. "Yash!"
"What?" He replied, looking up and just blinking at me.
"This is really beautiful, thank you."
"Uh, y-your welcome," he mumbled, quickly looking away, his eyes turning toward the floor.
Another thing to know about my king? Boy is shy as fuck. Any type of compliment or acknowledgement will send him scrambling for his sanity. I learned that when we were kids. It's so bad that one time, when he'd pissed me off, I spent a week complimenting him. That was it. That was my pay back. Telling him how much I valued his friendship and enjoyed him as a person. He was miserable. I had loved every second of it. He caught on eventually and nowadays just rolled his eyes when I peppered him with praise.
But when you give him a real compliment, one that he knows is real, Inuyasha always does the same thing. His cheeks tinge pink and he looks at the floor because he's so overwhelmed that he can't look at you. He's freaking adorable.
I chose that moment to slide him his cinnamon hearts. It would give him something to distract himself with while I put on the necklace.
"Y-you don't have to wear it…" he mumbled, claw-tipped fingers fiddling with the corner of the box of candies.
"But I want to," I replied, tilting my head to the side. "Do you-do you not want me to?"
"Do whatever you want, I can't stop ya," he grumbled, tearing open the box, still avoiding my gaze.
I chuckled. He could be so obstinate. I also slid on the ring pop after tearing open the foil, then I extended my arm toward him. "Wanna kiss the ring?"
"I didn't when I was five and I don't want to now," he replied dryly, a hint of a blush still coloring his cheeks, but at least he had looked up at me.
"Your loss," I teased, standing from the table. "Come on, we have a stack of really, super, scary movies to get through tonight."
"Right, 'scary,'" he mocked, grabbing his box of candies and following me to the living room.
"I mean… if you want truly scary we can always go in my room and close the door." I joked.
Inuyasha frowned and rolled his eyes before popping a couple cinnamon treats into his mouth. "Not exactly the type of fear I'd like to experience."
"Oh you mean getting maimed by our parents wouldn't be a fun experience?" I sneered, taking a seat.
Inuyasha sat right next to me and stared, unfocused as he thought. I grabbed the blanket and tossed it over both us before grabbing the remote. I also grabbed a pillow. See, Inuyasha loved scary movies. I… did not. I was a child. Through and through. So, when we watched them together I had a pillow at the ready. Any time I was scared or nervous, I would put the pillow in front of my face and Inuyasha would let me know when it was safe to look.
"Really?" He scoffed, looking down at the pillow in my lap. "Aren't we getting a little old for you to still be hiding behind pillows?"
"Hey," I snapped, "you're never too old to protect yourself from monsters."
"Right… except these are fake…"
"Yeah, well, tell that to my nightmares, buddy."
Inuyasha snorted and probably rolled his eyes, but I paid no mind to it. I just turned the movie on, licked my blue raspberry ring pop that turned my mouth blue, and clutched my protective pillow. We stayed, just like that, shoulder to shoulder, all night watching movies. Inuyasha laughing at the films while I held my pillow in front of me during the scary parts that he insisted weren't scary. All in all, a pretty successful anniversary. Minus the new rules obviously… those were still unsavory.
The next morning, we woke to the euphoric sound of bacon sizzling in the kitchen. We had fallen asleep over each other again, but that was to be expected. That's how every sleepover ended regardless of what new rules were implemented or where we were forced to sleep. My king and I were always going to be us.
We hadn't needed bedrooms to blur the lines between what it meant to be "friends."
"Who gave you that?" Sango asked during our cooking class the following Monday, as she very overtly peered at the maple pendant hanging along my chest.
"Um, you're making me uncomfortable." Me and my A-cups did not enjoy being scrutinized in that manner, especially in public. Even if it was just Sango.
She rolled her eyes and leaned back, but still her mulberry gaze bore into me. "Kagome, who gave you the fucking maple leaf?"
"Inuyasha," I responded, frowning. "Why are you looking at me like that?"
"No reason," she answered dryly. "So I take it your sleepover went well?"
"Yup, other than our mothers insisting on more rules," I bemoaned.
"Truly tragic," Sango retorted, not the least bit empathetic to the way the ground was shifting beneath my timid feet. "Did you give any time to think about our conversation from last week?"
"What conversation?"
"Oh my god," she had muttered, shaking her head before looking back at me while the teacher droned on about a recipe we would be trying the following day in class. "Dating," Sango hissed.
"Oh, yes! Actually I did consider it and think you might be on to something!" I replied excitedly.
"Oh so you and Inu-"
"There's this guy in my math class," I gushed.
"Ah," Sango murmured, pursing her lips in that way she did when some one was either purposely obtuse or generally clueless. She usually gave Miroku that look, so I was a little irate when it was leveled at me. "Does this guy have a name?"
"Uh…"
That was an easy question that I should have been prepared to answer, and yet I was caught completely off guard because I didn't know his fucking name. I just kept thinking of him as "Cinnabon." I was an idiot in more ways than one back then.
"I will find out!" I asserted, "today."
"Today."
"In math."
"In math… isn't Inuyasha in that class with you?"
"Yeah, why?"
"No reason," she mumbled, resting her head in her hands and rolling her eyes.
Whatever. If she wanted to be coy or vague I was going to let her. I had other things on my mind, like how the hell I was going to strike up a totally normal and not at all weird conversation with Cinnabon and get him to tell me his real name.
That purpose had haunted me throughout the rest of my class with Sango and even as she walked with me to my math class. As we approached, we greeted Inuyasha and Miroku who had both been waiting out in the hall near the room where my king and I had math.
"Dude, all I'm saying is that she's hot." Miroku pressed, violet eyes staring intently at Inuyasha who literally could not have seemed any less interested.
"Who's hot?" Sango asked, though by her lackluster tone it was clear she also was not seriously invested in who he was actually referring to.
"This girl in our metal shop class. Gorgeous and sexy. Truly rare combination." Miroku continued as if he was talking about a genuine work of art in a gallery. I, like the others, didn't pay him any mind. I was busy looking for my Cinnabon. I needed to strike up a conversation with him so that I could learn something more about him other than that he looked like he would give me a sugar high after a single touch.
"What's with her?" Miroku asked. I knew he was referring to me, but I couldn't lose focus! I was a woman on a mission. A mission to learn more about Cinnabons.
"She wants to talk to this guy in her math class." Sango had answered on my behalf, though I didn't really care for her flat tone and implied eye roll.
"Oh god, is it that kid you were staring at last week?"
I glared up at Inuyasha, not impressed with his scowl or disdainful tone either.
"What if it is?" I challenged.
"His name is Hojo, stupid," he sneered.
"How do you know him?" I asked incredulously. I was beyond surprised. Inuyasha usually knew people because I knew people. It had never been the other way around.
"I had an elective with him in middle school. He's about as interesting as a rice cake."
"Wow, what a glowing review." Miroku replied sarcastically while I continued to glare at Inuyasha.
It wasn't so much what he said as how he said it. His tone had been laced with something much heavier than his normal apathy and traditional aversion to other people. It was the same tone that he reserved for the kids that had bullied him when we were younger when he had been too small to defend himself.
But I knew all of those bullies. In fact, I had a literal list of all the people who were jerks to Inuyasha and I regularly enjoyed playing small pranks on them. I also knew him well enough to know which people he just didn't like. But my Cinnabon? He hadn't fallen on either of those lists. At least… he hadn't until that very moment.
The warning bell sounded then Sango and Miroku left for their classes, leaving Inuyasha and I to ourselves, a thick tension building in the air that I didn't really understand.
"What is your issue with Hojo?" I whispered, still irate but more confused. Was my Cinnabon less like a sweet fluffy treat and more like a cavity? He had hurt or insulted my king? If so, I would happily add him to the hit list and serve up some comedic justice.
"Nothing, he's just fucking boring. I don't see what has you suddenly so interested in him." His voice was still heated but his eyes were what really gave me pause. They didn't burn and smolder like I was used to. They were hard and dark like they had been when he caught me looking at Hojo the week prior. They were cold and guarded, as if I was an enemy instead of his queen.
His look sent a chill through my body and made me feel abruptly self conscious and guilty for reasons that didn't make any sense at the time. I didn't like the way he was looking at me and yet I had a nagging feeling that I was in the wrong. I felt a variety of emotions that I couldn't understand or parse through clearly. Why did my king look so… hurt and betrayed? Why did I feel so conflicted about wanting to get to know Hojo? Wasn't it normal, even expected, for me to do that?
Sango had made it seem like an important rite of passage and I had thought that this was what I was supposed to do… branch out.
But I hadn't been expecting the shame that pooled in my chest or the pain that I felt from him.
"He's cute," I mumbled weakly, wavering entirely too much in my speech as if I doubted my own eyes. "What's wrong with me wanting to get to know him?" I asked, defensive, searching him for the answers that I was suddenly desperate for or an explanation to the conflict I felt.
He stared at me, lips pressed into a fine line, and jaw clenched but he didn't say anything else. Inuyasha just rolled his eyes and looked away. His turbulent gaze, glowering at the door to our class before walking away from me and taking his seat.
I shook my head, nervous and still confused. It had been a long time since I had seen Inuyasha upset like that. Worse, I was pretty sure that he'd never upset like that at me before. I didn't know how to even begin to process it.
I could feel little pangs of agony splintering my young heart. I never wanted him to look at me like that ever again. It just… it wouldn't do.
He had refused to look at me, even as I took my seat next to him. Though I heard him snicker and toss a biting quip over at me, "oh? Not gonna go sit next to Hojo?" He had mocked.
"No," I hissed in response, eyes facing forward and watching the teacher. "He's a dumb boy, you're my best friend, why would I ditch you for him?" Was Cinnabon cute? Yes, I very much enjoyed looking at his face, but my king was far more valuable than even the sweetest looking treat. He shouldn't have doubted that.
I'd realize later that that was another of my mistakes. I should have reminded him that he had nothing to worry about. I should have told him that I was his, even before I really understood how completely he held my heart. That's why I had sat next to him and not Hojo, but I hadn't articulated that at a moment Inuyasha had needed to hear it.
It's why I was so dumbstruck by his anger. To me it had been simple. The Cinnabon was temporary. He was cute. He looked fun. But he wasn't a king. I would never choose Hojo over Inuyasha. But, it hadn't occurred to my young, dumb, naive self that Inuyasha might think that that was exactly what I was doing.
Inuyasha exhaled loudly. For the remainder of the class he gave me the silent treatment. He ignored the texts I snuck him, he pretended not to notice the times I poked him when the teacher was distracted, and he had made it a point to look at anything and everything other than me. Inuyasha may have won the battle that day in class, but I like to think I had won the war. When Inuyasha wasn't looking I had snuck little handwritten notes into his bag. He'd find them later when we walked to my house and dumped his bag before getting started on homework. As my own personal form of payback, each note listed a different thing I liked about him. When all was said and done, I had stuffed 15 different notes into his bag before the bell rang at the end of math.
The real problem though was that that wasn't the end of my Cinnabon craving, because at the end of the day… I spoke to Hojo for the first time.
I told you earlier that I had caught feelings for my king… and I did, but not at that juncture. I also told you before about my denial… that was still very much a sickness that ravaged my mind. Especially when Hojo and I began talking regularly.
Hojo had been so open, so eager to speak with me. It had been a totally new and unique experience for me. I swooned almost immediately. I mean, really, who wouldn't? Hojo showered me with kindness and recognition. He spoke openly and honestly about his feelings and wasn't the least bit intimidated by Inuyasha or my relationship with him.
The boy was just as naive as I had been, not recognizing the connection between Inuyasha and I. Regardless…
I felt a high speaking with Hojo. Small, but a high nevertheless. Every time he smiled at me, which was constantly - not a scowl in sight, every time he laughed at my jokes, every time those bright sapphire eyes looked at me without an ounce of skepticism or trepidation, it sent a small jolt of dopamine or serotonin or both, whatever, through my system. I didn't want to devour Hojo. I didn't want to make him mine. I didn't crave him, but I enjoyed him in the same way that you might enjoy a sunny day in winter. I wasn't head over heels, but the sun still felt good on my skin.
So, I didn't drink him in, but I sipped up his time and he mine.
Sango called Hojo naive and simpleminded. Even as I gushed about our conversations, she watched me with hesitation biting at every corner of her face. It was strange. For the first time in my friendship with Sango I could see her holding back. I could see her doubt and something else beneath the surface. It wasn't sinister, it was almost sad. As if every time I mentioned Hojo it pained her.
It hadn't stopped me though. The more she made me doubt my self and my budding romance with Hojo the more I leaned in. It was silly really, but I felt like the more she gave me that look, the more that Inuyasha made snide comments about Hojo, the less in control I felt. As a result, I ran toward what I felt like I could control… which was my relationship with Hojo.
The weeks went by and Hojo and I kept talking. Sango kept speaking about him with caution and Inuyasha…
I didn't know.
As I got closer with Hojo it felt like those fissures between my king and I became infinitely larger. The first time Hojo had waved at me in the halls Inuyasha had thrown a fit - like a full on tantrum - over my continued interest in him. His words had been vicious and cut through me like a blade of blood, leaving me tattered but not yet scarred or dead.
The first time Hojo had come up to me in the halls and walked me to my next class had been worse. I hadn't thought that that was possible. After Hojo had left for his class across the building Inuyasha and I argued so bitterly a teacher had felt the need to get involved. I had told Inuyasha not to come over for homework and cried on the way home after school that day.
We were mostly through the fall semester when Sango approached me. It was after school. I was biting my lip, arms crossed across my chest, fighting back another round of tears after Inuyasha and I had gotten into another stinging battle of words. His callous remarks still swimming around in my mind.
"Hey," she had murmured, coming up to stand next to me.
I looked up at her, but wasn't able to speak. If I had even so much as opened my mouth I knew that I would have let out a frail sob instead of actual words.
"I told Inuyasha to go home without you," she began, watching me closely and waiting for my protest. "I'm going to walk you home today."
"Sango-"
"I'm not taking no for an answer, Kagome. I'm your friend and you're going to let me be here for you."
I swallowed loudly, but didn't fight her further. I merely pushed myself off the brick wall and led the way back to my place. I didn't see her, but as I kept my eyes down, following the same path home I did every day, Sango nodded over to Miroku and Inuyasha who had been watching the whole exchange across the school yard.
I forced in a shuddering breath as we walked. Sango gave me time to compose myself, but I could feel her inquisitive gaze looking me over and picking her words.
"Just say it," I bit out, glaring at the ground. She wasn't the true source of my pain or malice. Even if my tone was clipped, she didn't deserve my glare or the full force of my ire. She was trying to help. So, I stared at the ground, clenched fists at my side waiting for her to speak her truth.
"You and Inuyasha have been fighting. A lot." Sango stated, as if that wasn't already very clear to everyone in the universe.
"What of it?" I snapped, wincing at the vitriol in my own voice before she responded.
"You're in pain."
Again, another obvious statement that did nothing to really address the situation.
"Okay, and?" I had pressed, missing the point of her comments.
"Tell me why," Sango asked.
"Because he doesn't like Hojo and he's being a jerk about it!" I practically screeched. "I'm just hanging out with him! God, it's not like-like I'm dating him or anything!"
"But isn't that the goal?"
Was it? I had no real idea. I was chasing the little highs of hanging around Hojo. They felt so good among the turmoil that colored the rest of my life, including, most recently, my relationship with Inuyasha.
"What of it?!" I repeated, that time leveling my heated gaze at her. "You're the one that told me to date!"
There was that face again. That look… that… apprehension. She was holding back.
"What?!" I screeched, pausing in the middle of the street and looking at her, tears falling. "Why do you keep making that face at me? What aren't you telling me?"
"Kagome, do you really want to date Hojo?"
"Who else would I want?" I had asked, genuinely confused by the question.
It was Sango who swallowed hard then, her head shaking to the side slowly. "I don't know… maybe-maybe Inuyasha?"
That thought had never overtly or organically occurred to me before. And, at that point in time, standing on the sidewalk, the cold air biting at the wet streaks on my cheeks, I was having a hard time wrapping my mind around it. I loved him, I always had. I knew that even then. But… he was my king. He wasn't some silly crush or innocuous flirtation.
He was so much more.
I wouldn't sully that. I couldn't… Not him.
I didn't know how to explain that. Our peers had never understood our relationship, and, to a small extent, I realized, that I didn't either. The threads that held Inuyasha and I together were so numerous, so thick and distinct in their many paths. How could I possibly begin to clarify that Inuyasha wasn't "crush" material. He was all consuming and devastating. And I had been too young, to ignorant of my own feelings, to understand what that really meant.
My brows knit together as I finally answered, each word coming out slow and heavy, "no. I would never just date him, Sango. I love Inuyasha."
I watched her chew on her cheek, eyes widening as if that was the point but I hadn't understood. I simply turned and kept walking, my ignorance plain as day and showing a little too much.