"What the fuck?" Inuyasha whined before he unceremoniously sneezed loudly and exaggeratedly, as he entered my room at the shrine on our first full day back from our family vacation, a week before school was to re-start.

"What?" I asked innocently while continuing to rub scented lotion all over my sunburned body, blinking at him like hewas the crazy one. I was wearing one of my new outfits that I hadn't sent a picture of to Sango, feeling confident and excited to be home. I had not enjoyed our joint vacation as much as I had hoped and well… Anyway, I'll tell you more about that in a minute but I was using the lotion to cover my gross scent for my king so that that would be less of an issue between us.

We were getting ready to go out and Inuyasha and I were meeting up before reconnecting with Sango and Miroku for lunch. After lunch, our plan was to cruise the mall, as bored teens do, then reconvene for dinner before my mother would come and pick up Inuyasha and me. His mother was already back to work and unable to watch her unruly teenage son so… that was my job.

What a tragedy, I know, to spend every waking moment with the boy that occupied every daydream I had. It was hard work but someone had to do it.

Unfortunately, that voluntary position also entailed keeping an eye on him and that phone in his pocket that I had grown to detest so vehemently.

Sango and Miroku were also both recently back from their separate family vacations and each desperate to get out of the house before school resumed. Although Sango had been texting me near nonstop complaining about being surrounded by men, which, honestly, after our joint-family vacation and having been overruled many a time by Inuyasha and Sota in favor of whatever they wanted to do, I could understand her pain. As much as I wanted a sister, Sango did too. It was just her, her brother, and her father.

What a sausage fest.

No wonder she was hesitant to introduce more male energy into that group… By that, I mean her boyfriend at the time. Her family had not met her boyfriend because her father was very against his only daughter dating at the tender age of fifteen, going on sixteen.

I mean we were basically adults, right? I guess my mother wasn't the only one with a draconian sense of boundaries.

"Why are you wearing that garbage?" Inuyasha bemoaned, his voice high and nasally as he used his fingers to pinch his nose shut.

My king… he could be such a drama queen.

I frowned and glared at him, "because… I'm sunburned." Was it not obvious? I mean, I'm pale on a good day not fire engine red… This was certainly not the burn I had hoped or wanted to feel after being around him for a week.

Between you and me, I also wore the damn lotion because I was trying to be thoughtful. He didn't like my natural aroma! So, I was ensuring he didn't have to smell it. He should have been thanking me. Rude.

"Okay but since when do you use scented shit?" He pointed aggressively at the bottle of lotion that boldly advertised a potent floral fragrance that I had picked out at the supermarket.

It wasn't like top-notch lotion alright? It was the junk that was like $2.99. My bad.

The point being, I had that on. But I also had on normal perfume. Plus extra deodorant. And maybe even a little scented lip gloss… I had been trying that thing where you layer scents? Whatever. I thought I smelled lovely. Evidently not everyone - a certain dog demon - agreed with me though…

He sneezed again and shook his head in nothing short of utter disdain. Inuyasha sounded like he had a goddam cold and looked just as frustrated.

"It smells nice…" I replied weakly, grinding my teeth and pressing my lips into a fine line. I just couldn't fucking win with him, could I?

"It smells like ass," he hissed.

He was a tactful one, my king.

I rolled my eyes. "I don't have anything else at the moment! What would you like me to do?"

"Take a shower," he answered quickly and dryly, leaning in as he spoke so that those ethereal golden eyes made my heart beat a little faster and made my already heated skin feel blisteringly warm. I couldn't tell if he was joking or not but we were already running late so I decided to ignore his suggestion. That and I really did think I smelled delightful. Maybe Sango would agree with me…

"Shove some cotton up your nose and let's go," I snapped impatiently, swallowing down that annoyingly consistent desire to run my hand through his silver hair and press faces before grabbing my phone and bag. Inuyasha followed me out and I made sure to grab cinnamon hearts for his highness's pleasure, fully expecting to see him immediately tear open the box in an attempt to cover up the abhorrent fragrance of my several perfumes.

Except… he didn't. Inuyasha shoved the box in a pocket and merely continued walking by my side, making a big show of things when we stepped outside and into the fresh air, my lotions no longer strangling him with their effusive odor.

I didn't understand.

Why… why would he not eat them immediately? Didn't I smell terrible to him? Isn't that what he saved them specifically for?

I was… shook. It didn't make sense to me. I fell silent, not even so much as bothering to bite back at his annoying jabs, as I tried to understand that new development. Had I miscalculated? Yes, I had, but at the time I was nothing short of fucking blind. So I just kept wandering down that same path because, what the hell did I know?

Inuyasha moaned and groaned the entire time we walked together to the outdoor mall about how potent the perfumes were. His eyes faced forward and he dramatically held his fingers over his nose, making a show of blocking out the various scents. I frowned but mostly ignored him, too busy trying to understand the mystery in front of me.

I just didn't get it. Maybe it was the type of fragrance... maybe he didn't like florals. I would have to try something else. Maybe, vanilla? Men like that, right?

Sango spotted us first, waving over from the table she and Miroku sat at as my king and I arrived at the outdoor mall. I waved back, barely paying attention, still focused on Inuyasha's words and actions.

"I'm sorry," I whispered as we approached our friends, interrupting his latest complaint about the fragrances assaulting him.

"For what?" Inuyasha asked flatly, finally pulling his fingers from his nose. I think my apology had caught him off guard a little because his ears drooped ever so slightly to the sides and his voice wasn't as abrasive as it had been a moment prior.

"For offending your nose," I sighed loudly, worrying my lip and refusing to look at him.

He paused, halting in his step, the action causing me to turn and face him. Inuyasha scowled in annoyance, arms crossing over his chest. "I just don't get why you put on like ten different fucking things." Ah, so he had noticed that I had attempted to layer… "Did I piss you off or something? Is this payback for the sunscreen thing?"

I rolled my eyes.

You may be wondering how I got sunburned seeing as I spent all my time on the beach very intentionally lathering up in SPF 100+ and under an umbrella… Well, the condition of my skin was all thanks to Inuyasha. I had been minding my own business, relaxing and reading - you know what normal people do on the beach during a vacation - when I may have found a bliss so enjoyable and tranquil that I fell asleep… In my chair, very elegantly of course, with a book over my face. It was at that time that Inuyasha thought it would be hilarious to write a message in sunscreen on my leg and remove the umbrella because, and I quote, "the message wouldn't show up if I didn't get any sun." He told me later that he thought that the book over my face was plenty cover… He didn't understand how truly delicate my skin was. Clearly.

A little sun isn't a problem… However, my super attentive and totally mindful king had forgotten to put the umbrella back and had underestimated how long I would sleep like that. He ended up running off with Sota to play beach volleyball, leaving me without cover, all the while I burned crimson in one of the worst possible ways. But hey… at least if I ever missed him I could look at the message on my thigh that read "cats suck."

Why did I like-like him again?…

Ah yes lips of cinnamon and eyes of heaven.

That had been annoying but, no, I didn't care about that at all. Okay, I cared but not enough to torture him over it.

"Yash, I'm not trying to punish you I just wanted to smell nice," I muttered, gaze falling down and to the side, quickly checking to make sure that my dress did in fact cover his delightful message on my leg. Was it really that abnormal for a woman to want to smell pretty and even fun?

He scoffed, resuming his walk toward Sango and Miroku, "you smell good without a million fake, overly sugary fragrances."

I huffed but followed him over regardless. The rebuttal was poised on the tip of my tongue but I held back. It wasn't an argument I wanted to get into at that moment, especially right before we were going to see Sango and Miroku for the first time in a few weeks.

I rolled my eyes and let his comments roll off of me. I squared my shoulders and lifted my head, grinning brightly over at our friends like I wasn't confused or angry or seconds from yanking on my king's precious ears all in the name of making him recognize that he and his gorgeous face and lips made of sweet cinnamon candy were driving me absolutely fucking bonkers. No, I smiled and sauntered over in my new dress, acting like I wish I felt; as if everything was perfectly fine and not at all frustrating.

"Hey!" Miroku exclaimed, standing to greet us. What a noble duke.

Inuyasha nodded his head in greeting to both Sango and Miroku. I smiled brightly and waved, pretending not to notice the way Miroku's grin morphed into a devious smirk as his eyes traveled over my body, no doubt examining my new clothes and ignoring the singed skin that I was sure would be really sexy when it started peeling.

"Ugh, finally, some estrogen!" Sango exclaimed, standing and throwing her arms around me like we'd been apart for months instead of a little over two weeks but I guess I too would be a little theatrical if I didn't have my mother or Izayoi to make me and my feminine desires feel appreciated.

Miroku turned away from me, frowning slightly, as he perceived Sango again, "and here I thought we were having a wonderful time…"

Sango released me and glared over at him. "We were. But I can both appreciate your company and still miss being around women," she sneered, reclaiming her seat at the table, under the umbrella.

The food court, like many of the little artesian shops at the mall, was outside and was less of a food court and more of a smattering of tables with umbrellas for those bright, hot days in the summer with some cheap food stands lining the outer perimeter of the clearing. I quickly slid into the seat next to Sango that was shaded by the umbrella lest me and my already tortured skin cook even more in the unrelenting and devious sun.

Inuyasha sighed and sat across from me, immediately crossing his arms as if displeased by the arrangement.

"I love this dress," Sango gushed, reaching forward and gently running her fingers along the soft fabric. "One of your finds from the beach?"

I nodded enthusiastically, grateful that someone appreciated my efforts, even if it wasn't perfume related.

"I, also, really like that dress on you," Miroku began, sitting up taller and placing a hand over his heart, evidently still a little offended by Sango's comment regarding his unsatisfactory amount of estrogen. "It emphasizes your womanly figure very nicely."

Sango turned toward me, her lips pursed and gaze narrowed, not in an irate way but in a dry manner, her hand flippantly gesturing over toward Miroku as she spoke, "you see what I mean? I've missed girl time."

"What did I say?!" Miroku exclaimed, looking to Inuyasha for support or clarification. I giggled as Sango shook her head.

Inuyasha rolled his eyes and sighed loudly, "let it go."

Miroku huffed but did, in fact, let it go. "Fine," he muttered sourly, looking around at the various food carts. "So… shall we? I skipped breakfast this morning."

"Yup," Inuyasha immediately responded, getting to his feet so quickly that his chair nearly toppled to the ground.

He could have moved that fast because he was genuinely hungry but I had a sobering and unpleasant inkling that it was more likely because he may have been getting a bigger whiff of my perfumes than he wanted to. I could feel the wind against my back, blowing air and, I assumed, my scent in his general direction. I resisted the urge to bemoan in response to the circumstances that I inadvertently created.

It was beginning to feel like every effort I made did nothing back backfire on me. It was demoralizing to say the least.

Sango stayed seated with me as the boys got up and began inspecting the food stalls. I couldn't help but watch, hoping to glean something from their interactions. Pathetic and desperate? Absolutely but… I was certainly not above that at that time in my life.

My observations didn't yield anything worthwhile. Instead of brief glimpses into the male psyche, all I got were images of Inuyasha's nose wrinkling at certain vendors which undoubtedly meant steer clear of them or that they were spicy. For a demon, Inuyasha sure had a low tolerance for spice. Though I took mental notes of which ones not to get food from, it was not the type of information I had been interested in acquiring.

Sango cleared her throat next to me. I turned to find her staring at me, a single eyebrow raised and looking utterly unimpressed with me. "You got it bad, girl."

"I know," I whimpered, shoulders slumping. Was I really that obvious? Yes. Yes, I was. At least to Sango I was.

"You know… in all the years I've known you I don't think you've worn perfume once." It was a seemingly innocuous comment but I knew that there was more hidden beneath its face.

We both knew why I had never before used artificial scents on my body.

"He doesn't like my scent," I stated, trying and failing not to sound bitter or dejected.

"Um… excuse me?" She pressed, leaning in toward me, looking like I had just told her that our table was bugged by the C.I.A. instead of claiming that my king didn't enjoy Eau de Parfum Kagome. "Did he say that?"

"No but he's just being polite," I replied, my expression sour and solemn.

"Kagome and I say this with nothing but love for Inuyasha… he's never been polite a day in his life."

That was with other people, or that's what I thought. He'd always been different with me. He was careful and kind with me. Inuyasha was outspoken, yes, but that didn't mean that he voiced every hurtful thought he had out loud. After all, he'd held back when I had all but accosted him in his room at the beach house. Who could say for sure that he wasn't holding back about my scent?

I shrugged in response and slowly rose to my feet, "Sango I don't… could we not talk about him for a day?" I nibbled on my bottom lip nervously.

I felt like a bad person for asking that favor from her. She was, in a sense, my teammate. She was my partner in this hell hole I had found myself in, offering advice and guidance as I tried to navigate a world that was new to me but one that she had more expertise in. She didn't have to help me. She didn't have to listen to me gripe endlessly or text her for hours over the same nonsense but she did. Repeatedly. I felt like I was betraying her by asking her not to provide that service to me but I needed a fucking break.

That's what I had learned over our joint family vacation and what I had realized only after blurting out to the world that I was texting Hojo; I was tired. My emotions were exhausting and I needed a minute from myself everything else.

From the moment our lips had collided, I had been consumed by thoughts of Inuyasha and thoughts of being with him and then thoughts of him being stolen from me, and then after that Miroku and Sango had - very graciously and kindly - swooped in to plot and plan but that merely led to more thoughts about him and I and everything else. For the last few months, our conversations almost exclusively revolved around Inuyasha or Kikyo and winning my king over, trying to almost trick him into being with me.

Sota's comment about hormones from the week earlier still rang through my mind, specifically regarding how on point he had been to want normalcy. Regular moments seemed so fleeting. I wanted a break from the hormones too. Even if Sango was happy to have more estrogen in the room, I didn't want to think about the varying levels of testosterone or estrogen or any other godforsaken chemical influencing and clouding our brains.

For a second, I just wanted to be.

I didn't want to feel uncomfortable over my feelings for him. I was trying to tell myself that there was nothing wrong with liking him while grappling with the recognition that he probably saw me as a sister and not dating material. I was trying to come to terms with being able to co-exist with my dual roles as a woman who wanted to date and as a girl who was friends with a boy.

I hadn't put on the perfumes to attract Inuyasha. I'd done it because I had genuinely thought it would be helpful for our friendship for me not to smell bad. I had been wrong, clearly, but lesson learned. I would get the unscented lotion at the mall that day and toss all the cheap perfumes so that he would be able to be somewhat happier in my presence.

Sango seemed to sense how tired I felt because she didn't fight me. She merely nodded gently, "yeah, no problem Kagome."

"Thank you," I gave her a weak smile then began sizing up the food stalls.

"Inuyasha hates the perfume doesn't he?"

"Ugh, Sango!"

Save for that one final tease, Sango stuck to her word. She didn't ask me about my feelings for him or pester me during our lunch or even after as she and I split from the boys. Miroku had grabbed Inuyasha by the shoulder and nearly dragged him away, forcefully urging Inuyasha in the direction of the sports stores. Evidently, Sango wasn't the only one who needed some quality time with a friend of the same sex.

Slurping on a smoothie she picked up from one of the vendors as she and I filtered through another clothing boutique, I looked over at my friend. Sango always looked so confident and sure of herself. She was radiant even with her hair tossed up in a bun on the top of her head, no makeup, and a baggy shirt. She was the epitome of looking great without trying. I envied her confidence and her self-assurance.

"What's up?" She asked, mulberry eyes lifting off the clothing in front of her and finding mine. "You've been really quiet today."

I shrugged. My rampant thoughts about the very topic I had told her I didn't want to discuss weren't important. "Nothing much," I answered noncommittally. "How was your vacation with your family?"

She paused and slurped a little more on the mostly empty drink before deciding to answer my question. "Oh, you know, it went fine for a family vacation. Dad took us hiking, attempted to impress his children with his profound knowledge of the wilderness only to eat a mushroom that made him sick." She laughed at the memory, not meanly, but with fondness. Sango loved her family deeply. Her father always loved the outdoors and most of their vacations were camping or hiking in various parks or mountains. Sango loved it too most of the time, though as she got older she found her father's desire to impart wisdom on his children to be a little overbearing and simultaneously endearing. "He wasn't seriously ill but he won't be living that one down for a while. Might buy some mushrooms from the grocery store on the way home just to taunt him a little."

I smiled.

"How was your family vacation?" She asked without so much as a hint of mischief but with sincere interest.

I frowned.

"What?" Sango asked, fully turning toward me and forgetting the shirt she had been eying. "Was it really that bad?"

"I just… I didn't have as much fun as I usually do. I wanted to go home most of the time," I admitted, nibbling on my lip. What with Inuyasha texting Kikyo every other minute, me feeling dejected when I tried to hang out with him, and… yeah wow… he really was the only goddam thing on my mind.

I blamed him for that though. What else was I supposed to think about when all my adventures up until that point in my life had been with him?

"Did you want to talk about it?" She asked kindly, pulling the drink away from her lips.

"No, I just want to shop and hang out with you." The corners of my lips tugged upward into a small smile, one she immediately saw through. I couldn't recall when I'd become so absorbed with Inuyasha. When had he become my entire world and every thought I had? Had I always been like that? What a bore I must have been… "Have you seen Kuranosuke since you've been back?"

It was a deflection. She knew it plain as day but she had agreed to let me be. She'd let it go, if only for the day.

"Yes, he and I had lunch the other day! He's doing well." She gave me a warm smile, not a full one. I could tell she wanted to ask, she was curious about why I hadn't had fun. Instead, she turned back to the shirt. "He wants to meet my dad… I told him it was too soon."

"What? Why?"

Because her father would almost certainly maim him and then the Kuranosuke we all knew and loved would be turned into a husk of a man. That's why. But I digress…

I listened to Sango express her concerns and talk about her relationship with Kuranosuke. I focused on finding clothes that would compliment the ones I had already purchased with my mother. I did everything I could to not let my mind wander over to him. It was going well too… until we met up with Inuyasha and Miroku towards the end of the day.

"Seriously," Sango began, laughing to herself as the boys came into view. "What even is the point of you two coming to the mall with us? You never buy anything!"

Miroku lifted up his arm, showing off a singular small bag hanging around his wrist with the logo from the video game store nearby. "Excuse you, I made a purchase."

"My apologies," she teased playfully, a genuine smirk making her face light up while crossing her arms as she and I came to stand next to them. "Is that all you did?"

"Don't worry about what we did," Miroku replied, grinning like the schemer he was.

Sango frowned incrementally. She seemed a little upset at the thought of being left out of one of his plots. It was interesting to watch. My mother's words from the beach circled in my head as I observed my friends. My mother had been right about one thing, Miroku and Sango were close. My duchess stepped up to the duke just as easily as I usually reached for Inuyasha.

It was food for thought.

"Okay but really… what did you do?" Sango pressed.

"Hot boy shit," Miroku answered vaguely, placing his hand on Inuyasha's shoulder as the half-demon rolled his eyes.

"Hot boy shit?" Sango repeated dryly.

"Hey, we don't ask you or Kagome about girl time… don't try to interrupt the sanctity of boy time," argued Miroku.

I couldn't help but smile and shake my head. I could only imagine what their 'boy time' consisted of. Unbeknownst to Miroku, Inuyasha usually told me what they did, or at least parts of it. Most days it consisted of Miroku talking about the different girls in our grade or the grades immediately adjacent to ours that he was trying to hook up with as well as different plans he had for getting an 'in' with the upperclassmen. I assumed that whatever they had been up to that day was something similar with a healthy sprinkle of video game discussions.

"I would be happy to hear about you and Kagome's pillow fights if you wanted to share though. Especially if Kagome is going to keep dressing like that," Miroku continued, winking at Sango in that playboy manner he was getting a little too good at.

My smile was a little more forced after that comment and Sango's gaze narrowed at him.

Inuyasha growled lightly then removed Miroku's hand from his shoulder. "Can we get food now?"

"Yes, please," Sango responded, walking with Inuyasha over to the restaurant that we had all decided on for dinner.

Miroku walked right up to me, violet eyes twinkling in delight. "This year is going to be so much fun! I can't wait!"

I could.

I would have been hard-pressed to find things I found less appetizing than being shoved back into a brick building forced to see Kikyo and Inuyasha fawn all over each other in person.

Suddenly, his annoying texting didn't seem so bad…

"He's been plotting all summer on how to expand our 'reach' with the upperclassmen who throw all the parties," Sango explained from in front of me, tossing the explanation over her shoulder.

Miroku nodded proudly before playfully smacking Inuyasha on the arm, "yes! And Inuyasha is going to help me!"

I frowned. What the actual fuck?

Inuyasha hated parties…

I literally had to beg and bribe and drag him to every one! And now, because Miroku was asking, he was going to helpget us to parties? I watched without listening as the three of them interacted, my brain feeling light and swirly. I didn't…

I was confused.

Was Miroku just saying that? Or... Was it me?

Maybe it was all the cheap perfumes getting to me but I paused outside the restaurant, letting each of them go in without me. I took a deep breath and bit down on my lip.

I was the only one, it seemed, who wasn't thrilled by all the changes. I mean, Inuyasha wanting to go to parties? That was a literal dream come true for Miroku. He'd been harping on needing a good wingman for ages.

I just…

I guess I'd never realized how much I was holding Inuyasha back. I didn't like that notion.

"What are you doing?"

His voice didn't make me feel better. It made me feel worse. His tone was bored and annoyed. It was the same way I spoke to my brother when he was hogging the T.V. and it felt like it was grating on my aching heart as he spoke to me in that manner.

I forced a smile. "Oh, nothing! Just… feel a little lightheaded." And like tossing myself into a fire but that was neither here nor there.

Inuyasha exhaled loudly, his head tilting to the side, amber eyes roaming over me. "Then you should eat."

I nodded obediently, ducking my head and walking around him toward the table. It took him no time at all to catch up to me. Before I knew it, he was less than a few centimeters away, his stride matching mine instead of walking just ahead of me like I was used to. I let my eyes fall to the side and looked over at him only to catch his gaze already on me.

I looked away quickly and suddenly wished that my face had burned under the sun so that the blush that formed wouldn't have been as noticeable. It was shameful how he could do next to nothing but his presence would have my heart doing back flips for him. I mean I was struggling to breathe and all he had done was look at me unexpectedly!

Sango and Miroku were already going back and forth, discussing classes for the next semester, as we approached. I heard Inuyasha's phone buzz in his pocket and couldn't help but look over. Her name flashed across his phone and I merely nodded as he excused himself to answer it. Sango and Miroku fell silent as I took my seat in the free booth.

Miroku opened his mouth but before he could speak Sango elbowed him in the ribs.

I forced that smile again and met his confused, violet gaze, "so… how was your vacation?"

Inuyasha was over the next day at my house. He was irritated. He'd been upset all day and all evening after his call with Kikyo at dinner.

I had no idea why and I hadn't asked.

Don't ask questions you don't want the answer to, right?

Instead of talking to him about it, I just reclined on the couch, trying to read a truly thrilling story of Chad and Emily and their epic love that was so full of cliches and nonsense I felt like puking even as I also secretly enjoyed the entire thing. As I read, I tried to ignore his constant sighing and grumbling as Inuyasha lay on the floor, his claws clattering along the surface of his phone as if that was all he knew how to do.

"What?" I asked, annoyed and putting the book aside. His constant disgruntled noises were interrupting what shouldhave been a truly beautiful moment between Chad and Emily.

He moved the phone over a little and looked up at me. "What what?"

"You won't stop sighing. Are you bored or something?"

"No," he muttered.

I watched those gold eyes that made me question my sanity daily flicker back to the phone and then I sighed.

"What?" Inuyasha asked, narrowing his gaze as he looked back over at me.

I glared back at him. Was he going to do that all day? "Why are you irritated?"

"I'm not!" He exclaimed, ears pulling back and laying flat against his head.

Liar.

"Yeah right, as if I believe that," I scoffed, pushing the book away and angling toward him. I leaned just barely over the edge of the couch, my hair falling around me as I peered down at him. "What's up, Yash?"

Inuyasha looked away, "nothing."

Oh, that stubborn idiot.

"Tell me," I insisted, reaching out and flicking a precious ear that I would have rather rubbed and massaged between my fingers while curling up next to him like a cat.

"Hey!" He hissed, pushing my hand away.

"Tell me," I repeated firmly.

"It's nothing!" Inuyasha snapped, watching my hand closely.

"It's not nothing!" I continued, reaching for his other ear. "You're upset over something! Just tell me!"

"Kags!" He barked, reaching for my hand as an idea formed in my mind. Inuyasha was gripping his phone with one hand and trying to fend me off with the other. He only had one hand free… I had two.

I reached forward with both hands, smiling in triumph as I grabbed at both ears.

Annoyed with my antics, Inuyasha dropped his phone and pushed both my hands away, and sat up, successfully moving the top of his head outside my wingspan. I pouted in his direction even as he scowled at me.

"Why do you always go for the fucking ears?" He growled, crossing his arms over his chest.

Um, because they were adorable as fuck… right? Like seriously. Name one sane person who didn't want to touch them. Go ahead. I'll wait.

"Why do you always say it's nothing when something is clearly bothering you?" I replied, narrowing my gaze at him.

I could see him chew on the sides of his cheeks for a moment, thinking and weighing the pros and cons of telling me what the issue really was. At that moment I felt a little prickle of a chill. Something told me that the issue pertained to a certain usurper trying to take my king, heart first, for herself.

"Because it bothers you," he finally answered.

"So you are trying to annoy me?" I questioned dryly.

Inuyasha exhaled loudly, rolling his eyes, "no, not what I meant. I meant that because what's bothering me bothers you. I'm not going to talk to you about it."

I sat up straight and my brows crinkled together. "Why not? You can tell me anything." Or so… I had thought.

"Oh please," he sneered, "I know you don't like Kikyo. Every time anyone mentions her you get that pinched face!"

So she was what was ailing my king…

Don't ask questions you don't want the goddam answer to.

"Like that!" Inuyasha exclaimed, a clawed finger extending and pointing between my eyes.

"Oh what, so that means you're just not going to tell me about your life?!" I accused, recoiling like I'd been slapped. I huffed and thought back to our conversation on the beach.

You may be wondering why I hadn't mentioned that conversation earlier... Well... That's because when I had asked him about his relationship with Kikyo the fucker had said nothing. He had scoffed at my question and said that there was 'nothing' going on and that he didn't understand why I was asking.

Jerk.

But I had asked him, point-blank, and now he was… ugh.

I had tried.

"I asked!" I yelled back, finding my voice in the otherwise quiet house. "You're the one who can't stop texting her for five seconds to carry on a conversation with me! You didn't tell me anything!"

"Because you hate her!"

"What do my feelings about her matter?!" I asked. "You like her, right?!"

He froze the moment the words were out of my mouth, his whole body becoming rigid and tense. I swallowed thickly, watching him, my heart pounding as heat flushed my skin. I could feel a small ache behind my eyes, my chest rising and falling faster than it should have been.

Here's the thing... Inuyasha had never said that.

He'd never actually told me he liked her.

But I thought that it was obvious, right? To me it was. I mean, she was like... flawless. How could he not like her?

I waited. He remained silent.

"Yash, talk to me!" I demanded. He still didn't speak. "Why won't you just tell me about you and her?! Why are you acting like this is some big secret?! I can see her name on your phone!"

He swallowed harshly, his own expression becoming somewhat pinched. "Because I hate that look on your face!" Inuyasha finally snapped.

"My face is my face! I can't change it!" Not my best comeback but I wasn't listening, not as closely as I should have been. He was telling me in his stunted way that he would have let that budding relationship with her burn to the ground for me but I hadn't seen it that way. I saw it as another way that I was holding him back...

Inuyasha's gaze cut into me, molten amber a fiery mix of anger and something else I couldn't quite understand. I could not fathom why he was mad at me. I was just asking him about his life!

"She wants to hang out," he grumbled, forcing his gaze down and away from mine as if he had admitted to cheating versus merely acknowledging what we all knew was bound to happen.

"And that's what you're so upset about?" I asked incredulously. For real though, he had been sighing up and down the entire day. I would have sooner guessed that his mother had told him it was time for his annual trip to the dentist.

He glared at me. "I'm not an idiot, I know she likes me."

"I'm still not seeing the problem here…" I responded.

Like, what was I missing - beside the entire point, obviously - there? Inuyasha liked her. She liked him. He knew she liked him. She had asked him to hang out. In my head that was good, yes? That was progress.

Progress that made me want to throw up in my mouth but it was good for him.

Don't get me wrong, I was desperately fighting the very large and loud part of myself that just began screaming in my head the moment he said that but I was his friend. I was supposed to support him. This-this would make him happy, right?

"I mean, you have to give her an answer…" Inuyasha shook his head and rolled his eyes. What? Was my suggestion really that obvious? Whatever, fine, just call me Queen Obvious from now on then.

Get it… because… I'm a queen but the saying is Captain Obvious? I'm not a captain… I don't have a ship.

"I know that," he sneered.

"Then what's the problem?" Why was he so reluctant? Inuyasha texted her constantly. It was normal, expected even, that if you spoke that much with another that at some point you or they may want to hang out in person. That was the logical direction of their relationship, I had assumed. So I could not understand at the time why he seemed so surprised or weary of following that path.

"I-I don't know…" Inuyasha finally admitted, his ears drooping toward the back of his head and his voice softening.

"So then… get lunch with her or something?" I suggested, trying to fight back the bile rising in my throat. I didn't want to give up time with him. Even when we were fighting, even when I was frustrated and confused, having him near was so much better. But lunch… lunch, I thought, was a fine compromise. Lunch plans would never interfere with my nights with Inuyasha.

He glared at me before grabbing his phone.

"Fine."

"What was the plan?!" Miroku and Sango screeched at me in unison the next time I saw them, which happened to be the same day that Inuyasha was at his first lunch with Kikyo.

I had agreed to get lunch with my valiant duke and duchess, foolishly thinking it would be a good way to get my mind off of Inuyasha and his kind-of-sort-of-but-not-really-because-it-was-lunch-date with Kikyo. From the moment they stepped across the threshold into the diner though Miroku and Sango had had other ideas.

"The plan…" Sango hissed, hitting her hands on the table a little too loudly, "was that we would not encourage Inuyasha and Kikyo! We would be noncommittal yet just supportive enough so that Inuyasha didn't think we hated him. It was a thing! It was working!"

"It wasn't!" I pushed back, matching their energy. "You wanna know why I hated the joint-vacation?! Because he was texting her constantly! At the beach! At dinner! During game night! All. The. Time! It wasn't working!"

Sango turned to Miroku, murder in her mulberry eyes as she perceived him as if that was somehow his fault.

Miroku reached up and pulled lightly on his hair before looking over at me, ignoring the heat coming from Sango. I had no idea why she seemed so angry with him but I was also immensely grateful not to be in his shoes. I could only imagine the texts he'd get later from her. "But why did you suggest that he hang out with her?!" Miroku asked, his eyes searching mine.

"Because he likes her and I'm his friend!" Whether or not I wanted that to change, that was still my role. That was my job, to be there for him. He'd been upset. He'd told me the reason that he was reluctant to hang out with her was because of me. I didn't want to be a problem for him. I understood that he didn't want to be open with me about things like that because I didn't like his crush. Fine. I could chew Inuyasha out later for it but I refused to hinder him any longer.

I just wanted my goddam friend back.

He'd never see me as someone to date, which I was coming to terms with.

Okay, I wasn't really coming to terms with that, or at least not very well. I would deal with that later, maybe.

I still wanted my friend, my king. Sure, I would hate that our future conversations would likely revolve around her but at least then he would be talking to me. Maybe it would kill my soul a little every time he might gush about her, if boys even gushed about anything, but at least then when he came over the only thing that I would hear wouldn't be the inane and maddening sound of his claws tip-tapping over the fucking phone screen but would be his voice.

I hated the situation.

I did.

I didn't like what I had done. I also didn't like that he had listened to me. There was a part of me that hoped that he would just toss his phone into the garbage disposal and profess that the real reason he was reluctant was that he liked me or some other Disney nonsense that doesn't really happen in real life because shit is complicated and we were plagued with constant miscommunication and incorrectly drawn assumptions about even those we knew best.

Still, I felt it was unfair of them to blame me for this dumpster fire because at the end of the day… it had been hisdecision, right? Inuyasha had decided to hang out with her. Inuyasha had gone. He had been part of that process, if not the ultimate decider. Not once had I made plans for them.

So why was I being yelled at? Was it not obvious to them how he felt?! I swear. Some people are so blind.

I bit down on my lip as Miroku ran a hand through his bangs and shook his head. "You have that sleepover with him tonight, right? It's Friday…"

"Yes," I growled, leaning back in my seat.

"Okay," he sighed, "Then let's brainstorm. Let's do some damage control here."

"No," I spat forcefully. Both turned to look at me, each stunned and aghast at my answer.

"I'm confused," Miroku stated, speaking before Sango could. Sango, who also happened to look all of five seconds shy of punching me in the face. "Do you… do you want to date him? Because that's what we thoug-"

"He and I are friends," I interrupted.

"You like him," Sango hissed.

"Let us help you get together!" Miroku begged. "We can help! We have a plan!"

"No," I repeated firmly, crossing my arms over my chest and huffing. "Enough of this. Inuyasha and I aren't people you can throw into a room and force to kiss! People tried that for years! It didn't do shit! And this is just the same thing with a different name the only real difference being there's no goddam closet! No more plotting. No more scheming. I'm done."

Miroku bit down on the side of his cheek, shaking his head, his eyes looking down, unfocused. He thought I was an idiot. It was written all over his face. Sango too, for that matter. She exhaled loudly and faced the ceiling.

A tense silence fell around us.

My phone vibrated in my pocket and I pulled it out. It wasn't Inuyasha. I slid my phone back into my pocket, messages unopened, and sipped solemnly on my water.

Yeah… Sophomore year was going to fucking suck. Not only was my king checking out real estate in a different kingdom but now my duke and duchess were upset with me.

Sitting there, looking anywhere but at my friends who I knew were just trying to help me, I began to wonder if the crown was really worth it. I was bleeding and precious metals and gems were not making for very good bandages.

I clutched my bag close to my chest as my mother drove me to Inuyasha's for our sleepover later that evening. In my periphery, I could see her looking over at me every couple of minutes or so, her eyebrows pulled up and together in concern, her bottom lip gently held between her teeth. I was still reeling from my lunch with Sango and Miroku as well as filled with anxiety and self-deprecation knowing that Inuyasha had had lunch with Kikyo earlier too and that, truthfully, I had had a role in that.

He hadn't messaged me once since he'd met her.

Part of me wanted to cancel the entire sleepover and hide under my blankets. But a bigger part of me wanted to see him.

"Did something happen dear?"

Um, yeah, like a hundred things, the least of which was my tumultuous relationship with my friends and my increasing desire to crawl into someone's luggage at the airport and make a new life for myself in a random country.

"Just… tired," I answered.

She frowned but I didn't offer more.

"You and Inuyasha…"

Fuck.

"What about us?" I asked, my tone becoming darker and defensive.

I watched the front of his house come into view, my mother slowly rolling up to the curb and placing the car in park without taking the keys out of the ignition or stepping out. I looked over at her. "You can tell me if you're struggling with things," she murmured.

I nodded while somehow doubting that she would be able to provide helpful insight into my issues. "I know, thanks." I smiled, my hand hovering on the handle of the door.

"Have a good time," she replied gently while waving as I moved to get out of the car.

Izayoi was standing at the door, a big warm smile greeting me as I walked over, still cradling my things close. I could see her focus flicker to a space behind me where I knew my mother to be. I sighed inwardly. I had just had to have an uncomfortable conversation with Sango and Miroku about their scheming and I really didn't want to have a similar conversation with my mother. God only knew what she and Izayoi were plotting…

The awkwardness continued as I sat down in the living room with Inuyasha. I didn't take my normal seat right next to him. I sat a little bit away and pulled my legs into my chest.

I was tired. I didn't want to think anymore.

"Can we watch something?" I asked, without really greeting Inuyasha.

He didn't answer immediately. I didn't need to look at him to know he was scowling in my direction and likely glaring. "Yeah, here," he finally stated tossing the remote over toward me.

I grabbed it and turned on something. It wasn't really my kind of show but I knew he would like it.

"What's wrong with you?" Inuyasha blurted, his voice hesitant and suspicious, waiting for me to attack.

"Nothing, just… lots of thoughts." It was an honest answer. My head felt like it was swirling. I was so confused and frustrated. So annoyed by my own feelings and emotions. What could I even do? I had liked Sango and Miroku's plan because it had given me hope that I had some control over the situation but really I didn't feel like I had any. I was at the mercy of the universe and I didn't think the universe was my biggest fan…

I failed to notice that Inuyasha didn't even have his phone on him. That discordant sound of his fingers gliding along glass wasn't grating on my nerves. His attention was solely on me.

"Tell me about it," Inuyasha requested, shifting in his spot, narrowing his gaze as he perceived me.

"I don't really-" I had begun when he cut me off.

"No," he interrupted firmly. "You were all over me the other day for not telling you shit. Your turn."

I pursed my lips and finally looked at him. He was irate. A deep frown marring that face that I wanted to see smile so desperately that I was willing to let another woman put it there. I bit down on my bottom lip, my anxiety spiking. What would I even tell him?

As I thought about my answer and what I could say, he waited. He refused to turn away or let me out of it.

Breathing became harder.

"Sango and Miroku want me to date," I muttered, looking down and fidgeting with my fingers.

"Isn't that what you wanted?" His voice was hard, in the same neighborhood as a growl without quite getting there. I swallowed thickly as I remembered our conversation before that fateful game of spin the bottle. I had told him that I wanted that.

Stupid.

"I do, I think, I just…" I sighed heavily, feeling tears pricking at the back of my eyes. I didn't know if it was hormones or because it was getting close to my time of the month, I didn't know if it was because I felt like there was pressure coming from every direction or my own perceived failings and disappointments or because I was just growing so tired of it all but I couldn't tell up from down and I…

The tears just fell. And once they started they would not stop.

My poor king…

Anger? He could handle anger. But tears? Have mercy on his soul.

"Uh," Inuyasha stammered, as my quiet tears turned into sobs. And not like nice, soft sobs but like hiccupping cries that were loud and gross. "Ka-Kags…"

My hands flew to my eyes and I frantically wiped at them. I was trying to stop but… that was just another thing I failed at.

I heard his mother's feet pad across the floor before I saw her.

"I didn't do anything!" Inuyasha exclaimed, panic evident in the tone of his voice as his mother approached. I didn't need to look at him to know the boy was uncomfortable and scared and probably very, very confused.

"Hey," she cooed, hands coming to rest on my shoulders, her face invading my personal space and forcing me to look at her. I pulled my head out of my hands and, ugh, I did that terribly embarrassing stutter of a hiccup with her pristine gaze so close to me that I swear I could see the universe in her divine eyes. "Why are you crying?"

"I-I don't know!" I sobbed and, really, I didn't. Like I said… too many thoughts and not enough me to sort them all out. All I knew was that my chest hurt. Like… a lot. And not in a physical way but that annoying emotional way that no amount of Advil would fix.

"That's okay," she assured me, wrapping her arms around me and pulling me into a big hug. "People cry, it's normal."

"What part of this is normal?!" Inuyasha asked incredulously.

I almost laughed. I had been wondering the same thing and I knew his question didn't come from a place of malice but genuine bewilderment. Like I said… anger? Expert. Tears? You may as well have told him to track a scent in the middle of a hurricane. He'd probably be better at that honestly.

"Oh shush," Izayoi hissed at her son. "Life can be overwhelming sometimes and, when that happens, people cry," she explained, less to me I guessed, and more to her surly child. "Kagome has been stressed recently. This is normal, to need to let it out."

I felt like I could hear his brain breaking as he tried to understand.

She squeezed me tightly, my super sexy sobs quieting into timid sniffles. The hug did feel good. "See?" Izayoi exclaimed, "she just needed a minute to let it out."

He exhaled loudly in a pfft as his mother slowly released me, returning instead to look in my eyes. She ran a hand through my hair gently and I sniffled again, meeting her gaze. I was struck but how familiar that look was. It was the same one my mother had had on in the car.

She was worried about me.

I yearned for the simplicity of our younger days when my king and I were fledgling rulers. When love was as simple as pulling my mat up next to his at nap time. Or when it was as easy as sharing ring pops and cinnamons hearts on the playground before falling asleep in the same bed.

Before the days that all those things I cherished became tainted with questions and doubts, with boobs and silent expectations or societal roles that compressed your last vestiges of innocence into a dense ball in the back of your mind.

Izayoi nodded, searching me for something, anything, seemingly satisfied when I weakly smiled back at her. "I'll get you some water and start dinner, sound good?"

"Yes, thank you," I murmured, my cheeks turning red not from crying but from my own sheepishness. I shouldn't have been embarrassed. That woman had seen me in all sorts of states over the years but like so many other things it felt different to have her so close at that moment, witnessing my expression of discontent with the inability to call her son mine.

She pressed a tender kiss to my forehead before swiveling around to face Inuyasha. I followed her gaze and gingerly looked over at him. He looked a little pale even with his caramel tan, ears flat against his head, bold black brows knitted together, his chin tilted downward while he looked at his mother through his lashes. His cheeks burned brightly too. I smiled a little more genuinely seeing him so… affected.

That sounds a little dumb and maybe even toxic but let me explain.

I didn't like that Inuyasha was clearly anxious and frustrated by the situation. I've cried many times in my life and he has often had that expression because it's like he can't decide between sheer panic or his default response, anger. He gets that look, especially that deep pinch of his brows because he's frustrated. He has no idea what's going on in my head and that's why he's uncomfortable.

Inuyasha likes action.

In a sense, he needs a job. He needs something to do, some goal to meet in my honor and avenge my broken heart.

That's how he makes someone feel better. He'll do the work. He'll beat up the bad guy for you so that you don't have to endure that or suffer more. He'll be your shield and your sword.

But he needs to know what or who he's fighting.

He can't do that when he has no idea what's going on in my head. That's why he looks like that. Inuyasha is uncomfortable because he cares but doesn't have the tools to express that and he doesn't know how best to help me.

So, I learned to read it from his face.

The point was that… he still cared about me just as he always had. He didn't make that face for just anyone.

It was a small comfort.

"Hug your friend," his mother commanded, probably realizing that giving him a task would be beneficial to us all, before stepping back and running her hands calmingly through my hair once more.

Inuyasha stilled and glared, not at her mind you. Inuyasha loved his mother way too much to glare at her, so he just glared at the floor instead. A mighty vicious glare too.

"He doesn't have to if he doesn't want to," I muttered, thinking back to the face he made when I had visited him in his room at the beach house. I didn't want him to be uncomfortable.

Izayoi sighed, and I swear she almost rolled her eyes at my response. Almost. Instead, she tossed another quick look at him then left the room.

Inuyasha was so quiet. I chewed on the insides of my cheek, unsure of what to do next. I mean… I had just hysterically cried in front of him and his mother. It was a little hard to have a normal conversation after that.

"Come on," he grumbled, pushing off the couch and walking away.

That was not a hug…

"Uh," I stammered, watching him head out of the living room.

He paused, noticing that I hadn't moved. "Are you coming or not?"

Okay but like… to where?

I nodded and slowly got to my feet, timidly walking over, silently questioning why I felt so out of place with my best friend. He'd seen me cry before.

But never over him, I realized.

Never because I wanted more than I thought he did.

Still, I'd follow him to the ends of the earth, which, thankfully, was not where we were going. He led me up the stairs and I soon realized exactly where he was going; his room.

I had seen that room a million times before and as he stepped into it, with me trailing behind still playing with my fingers, I smiled a little more. It looked mostly the same. Same colored walls. Same furniture his mother had gotten him after his growth spurt. Same scattered remnants of socks and shorts and shirts on the floor that he began to kick into a pile upon remembering that I was right behind him.

I chuckled a little. I couldn't help it. He looked so funny, just kicking the things he was too lazy or uninterested in putting away into a pile as if that made a difference.

"You don't have to tidy up on my account," I teased in a whisper.

He turned to me and oh… my poor little heart. It's a miracle it didn't give out right then and there.

Those brilliant eyes were filled with so much emotion it took my breath away. It was that look he had that I craved with every fiber of my quaking soul. It was the burn that I wanted to feel as it filled every crevice of my soul with an overflowing sense of belonging. That look made my heart flutter but not in agony. It made me yearn for him but not because I missed him. It quieted every racing thought and made me want to be bold.

Inuyasha didn't even realize what he did to me. He never did. He never understood that I didn't need him to fall on a sword for me. I didn't need him to be my shield either. I just needed that. For him to look at me…

And see me with such depth and affection.

There wasn't a single hard edge to that expression it was overflowing with the same of need and longingness that I felt. I didn't feel confused when he looked at me like that. No, I felt like I was the only star in his sky when he looked at me like that.

I was so enraptured that I didn't even notice his hand moving as it reached over, grabbing something before extending that same hand toward me. I looked down and almost started crying again but for a totally different reason.

Perched between his fingers was a red ring pop.

See, I always gave him cinnamon hearts but Inuyasha? He gave me ring pops. Ever since I'd asked him to kiss the ring, that was his gift to me. At every friend-iversary. At every birthday. Always. He was a little more stingy with his love though. I guess because he had never used candy to bribe me into doing something for or with him like I had bribed him all those years ago.

He knew that they were still my favorite candy.

My eyes flickered up for a moment and I noticed that the boy had a box of ring pops on his dresser. He was prepared.

I took the ring, the pads of my fingers brushing his as I accepted his gift. "Thank you," I murmured, cheeks flushed as I looked down at the most exquisite gem of them all.

God, that boy meant so much to me.

"Why… why did you cry?" His voice was so small and meek it caught me off guard.

I sucked in a long drag of a breath before looked back at him. "I'm very confused… about my feelings and I… I think I've been listening too much to Sango and Miroku without really processing what I want and what I'm comfortable with."

He shifted his weight between his feet. "And what is it you want?"

I wanted my king.

I wanted this.

I looked at him, unsure how best to convey it to him. I would need to figure that out, to determine how I wanted to deal with it.

Cautiously, I stepped forward, my gaze dropping, silently standing just a little closer to him. I had no idea how I would resolve it all. I guess that was part of growing up.

That step seemed to be more important than I initially realized because I finally got my hug. I felt his arms wrap around me, pulling me close as I returned his embrace. Hugging him felt so much different than it used to be. I had been taller for most of our relationship but I liked that then, when he wrapped his arms around me, it was like a blanket draping around me. I could feel his chest rise and fall as he breathed and it's… it's a little difficult to articulate. I'll try but…

Hugs were one thing that got better with age. At least, I thought so. Because I really didn't value them as a kid as much. I was tiny and the world was so much larger than me. Hugs had always made me feel safe and warm but they were different, more nuanced as we got older.

I still felt safer and warmer in his embrace but I also felt the love because I could tell the difference between the hugs I got from my other friends and the ones I got from Inuyasha. I could feel the difference in the way he never held me weakly. You know what I mean. Hugs with friends are often short and sweet. They don't linger or cling to your soul.

His did.

He held me like I was the most precious of precious things. Like letting go would cause actual pain.

And I knew that, at least for me, it would.

"I just… I just want to hang out with you." I left out the part where I wanted to hang out with him, and only him, in every way conceivable and to the end of time. I felt like that would have been a little much after I had been hysterical a moment earlier…

"Is that not what we're doing?" He asked dryly.

"It's… it's been different and I… I don't understand why," I whispered, burying my head into him.

"Well… you just started crying out of nowhere…"

I pulled away but just enough to see his face, not enough to let go, not yet. "Why-why were you scared to hug me?"

He looked pained and hesitant.

"Do I smell bad?" I asked, only a half-joke because, really, I did want to know.

He shook his head quickly, "no. Because it's…" Inuyasha, to my immense dissatisfaction, released me. Running a hand through his bangs.

Oh, he was uncomfortable again.

It was when his gaze landed on the door to his room. The open door. The one that was required to remain open.

"The rules," I muttered.

He nodded.

I swallowed thickly. See… this was the problem with Miroku and Sango's plan to remind my king about me becoming a woman and not a kid anymore. In reality, their plan had only served as a personal reminder to him precisely why our parents had felt rules were necessary.

Ugh, I felt like such an idiot.

Showing off my damn lady bits hadn't made him want me… it had made him respect the fucking rules.

I would never listen to Sango or Miroku again. Ever.

Ever.

Now, I wish I could say that the worst was behind us. I'd be lying if I said that though because it got worse… I was too stupid to see what was forming right in front of me, what I had helped to create. The storm was brewing and I was still ignorantly flitting by. That was until the Sunday before the fall semester of sophomore year started. Sundays were group days. Inuyasha, Sango, Miroku, and I all hung out together, usually at the local arcade or the mall or a park if the weather was nice.

It was a well-established routine.

Most importantly though, it ended the earliest. Unlike my Friday night sleepovers with Inuyasha that bled into Saturday and typically also led to sleepovers on Saturday night that bled into Sunday, Sunday hangouts had to end before dinner. That was the rule.

All four of us needed to be home by dinner time so that we could eat and get ready for school the next day. Summers were more relaxed because we didn't have school but that Sunday we fell back into our routine and all parted ways before dinner.

That was when she found me.

My mother drove us home after dropping Inuyasha off and I saw her hanging out by the sacred tree. She was just sitting there, dark eyes examining one of the shrine's prized landmarks.

I paused on our way inside, letting my mother go ahead of me.

As if sensing that I had returned, her gaze flickered over to me.

Kikyo.

She looked regal. Her outfit was simple but classic. Her hair was flawless and shiny despite the humidity. Her skin had an even complexion, unlike my blotchy, sunburned self. Even her posture spoke volumes. She sat up perfectly straight, her hands delicately placed in her lap, ankles crossed, waiting patiently.

I contemplated running away from her and going inside. After all, I didn't know that she was there to see me. She could have been there to pray. People did that...

Something told me that she wasn't there to pray though.

I waved at my mother and made my way over to Kikyo. I reasoned that even if she wasn't there to see me, she had spotted me. As Inuyasha's crush, I should at least make an effort to be nice to her. There was a very real possibility that she would be a more common fixture in my life soon.

She slowly rose from her seat as I approached.

She was taller than me. I hated that I had to literally look up to her.

"Hi," I began, waving awkwardly but putting on my friendliest smile and trying to give her a chance.

"Hello," she replied, a half-smile decorating her face as she took a single step closer to me.

I pulled my hands behind me, picking at my fingers nervously, but at least she wouldn't see my anxiety as well if I hid its manifestation behind my back.

"I'm glad I caught you," Kikyo continued.

Yup.

Shit.

She was here for me.

"Oh?" My heart was thumping painfully in my chest and my mouth felt dry even though my hands started to sweat. I didn't like that she was there to see me. What on earth would she have to say to me and not Inuyasha?

"I wanted to talk with you about Inuyasha."

I could respect that she was direct and to the point. I guess...

"What about him?" I asked, resisting the urge to worry my lip. I knew she was the same age as me but Kikyo felt so much more… authoritative. I felt almost like disagreeing with her would be the same as disobeying a teacher. It had me squirming more than I wanted to under her scrutiny.

"You're very important to Inuyasha," she continued, not so much as a nervous twitch or tick from her in sight. Her voice was steady and calm. "You're like family to him."

There was that word again. Family. She had emphasized that word too. Kikyo wasn't an idiot. As if I wasn't painfully aware that he had no romantic or sexual attraction to me, she was going to remind me of it and make sure I knew my place.

"And I know you don't like me."

Oh.

I grimaced.

"Kikyo, I-"

"Do you like him?"

I froze. The only thing still moving was my heart as it beat against my rib cage painfully. I didn't like this. I didn't enjoy being put on the spot by a stranger, let alone one we both knew I wasn't a fan of. So, I gave her the easy answer.

"H-he's my best friend. I love him."

The corners of her lips turned downward slightly. It was the only emotion she showed. "I understand that but do you intend on pursuing a romantic relationship with him?"

That was why she had come all the way here? To ask me about my feelings for him? That was… uncomfortable. I blinked rapidly. Did I want a romantic relationship with him? Yes. A thousand fucking times yes. Did I think that would ever happen? No.

My face scrunched a little, head tilting to the side as I tried to understand why any of this mattered to her. But then I paused.

Really though, wasn't her inquiry the million-dollar question? It was the same thing Sango and Miroku had wondered. It's what everyone usually assumed. It's what all those kids who had shoved Inuyasha and me together for years thought. And, clearly, it had been something that was on Kikyo's mind as well.

The thing though was that she wasn't asking me what I wanted but what would I do?

It was a thin distinction but an important one. That was a great question indeed. One I was still trying to figure out myself.

"I want to respect the relationship you have with him," Kikyo began anew in the aftermath of my silence that spoke louder than I think my words ever could have. "I am going to ask him out. I would like to date him."

I so envied her directness. It could not have been easy to approach me like that, especially knowing I was not on her side.

"I don't want to get in the way of your friendship or put a strain on either of you."

Too late for that.

"What do you want from me?" I asked, interrupting her. She said she didn't 'want' any tension or strain but she wasn't saying that she would back down if I said I liked him or didn't approve. The cynical part of me didn't think she was here out of the goodness of her heart. The cynical part of me whispered that she was surveying the battlefield. She was sizing up the competition before deciding whether or not to go nuclear.

She wanted my king.

She was playing to win. I was playing not to lose. There's a difference there in strategy. Kikyo could be bold but I would always be on the defense trying to cut my losses. I may have wanted to be bold but she could be. She had more freedom, more range of motion.

He was too important to me for me to take the same risks she could afford to. She had that advantage and she knew it.

I felt an ache forming behind my eyes and a pit forming in my stomach. In the movies, when you make a deal with the devil you usually shake on it. Kikyo and I didn't shake hands. We locked eyes. Two queens. One ruling over a crumbling estate and the other the spry up and comer ready to unseat the traditional balance of power. I could feel the kingdom on the brink of collapse. I had to make a move. I had to commit to war which would likely ruin me completely or... diplomacy. Diplomacy would hurt, I would hate it, but I would live to see another day. My friendship with Inuyasha would survive.

See, that's the thing about high school. I'd watched so many friendships that had been carved into trees in elementary schools fall apart because of girlfriends and boyfriends. I didn't want Inuyasha and I to be like that. I didn't want to force his hand. It usually didn't end well for the 'friend.'

I thought I knew who I was in that scenario and I didn't think that I was the spry one.

I thought I would need to adapt to survive.

I didn't like her but I hoped that when the last brick to my ancient realm turned to dust she would have some pity on my soul and grant me access to my king. I had already decided to treat her as an ally at the end of the prior school year. This agreement, I told myself, was nothing more than verbal confirmation of the same.

So why did it feel so much worse? I hadn't the faintest but I knew one thing...

I didn't want to lose my king.

"I will respect your relationship with Inuyasha and I would like you to also respect my relationship with him," Kikyo proclaimed. It wasn't so much an offer as an order.

I clenched my jaw and paused. I wanted to scream. I wanted to cry. I wanted to strangle her.

Instead…

I slowly nodded in agreement then walked away.

Long live the queen.