Let me set the scene for you. It was Friday night, the weather was turning with the season but we didn't care about the cold because, again, it was Friday night and we were teens at a party with older teens, and here's the important bit, with no parental supervision. Although, to be clear, my mother still had imposed a strict curfew on me so… there was that…

But anyway, back to the scene.

I was in a knit dress that should have made me warm without covering me up too much and wearing leggings with some ankle boots, nothing super special but it was nicer than my school clothes so I felt a little fancy. I had even tossed on some make up and brushed my hair for the occasion because I refused to be caught out in the wild looking like I had that time at the mall a few weeks prior with Kikyo.

I still shudder at the memory of that… and from the cold I had felt that evening despite my warm yet cute attire.

Anyway, for what occasion had I put such effort into my appearance you may be asking yourself? Oh how quickly you all forget… It was all for Koga's party.

You remember right? The party that Inuyasha didn't want to go to after he and I had a little spat over our Fridays when I had so brilliantly declared that I would go to said party without him? Yeah… that party…

That's where I found myself on that particularly inglorious evening. I wasn't alone-alone even though he wasn't with me. I had arrived with Sango but within minutes of crossing the threshold into the knight's labyrinth of a palace, I had watched my fair duchess run and jump into Kuranosuke's arms before immediately yanking him up the stairs in search of a private space to take advantage of the litany of bed rooms and lack of chaperones to do things with her boyfriend who hadn't expressed a single qualm over her plan.

Sango wasn't president of the thirst club for nothing…

I'd also arrived with Miroku that evening but unlike a certain horny duchess, he'd stayed by my side. Between you and I, most of the night kinda-sorta-really sucked without Inuyasha there with me. Miroku was a phenomenal party friend, truly. He was an excellent schmoozer. He walked me around and introduced me to people he thought I would get along with while also taking time to speak with the people I knew. It was all so easy with him. He never complained or groaned in my ear about leaving. He casually walked up to friends and strangers alike, smiling and putting his best foot forward.

But I still missed my king.

I missed Inuyasha griping in my ear. I missed the way he'd tug at my hand because he was tired of sharing my time and wanted to go home.

I found myself constantly looking for him as if the problem wasn't that he was out with another woman but merely that I had lost him momentarily in the crowd. I wanted my king next to me. I wanted to brush my fingers against him and feel him there. I wanted to hear his overprotective growls and burn under his gaze.

But I never did.

Miroku never tugged at me. Miroku never… He never made me feel like I was the only woman he could ever think about seeing, not like Inuyasha did. Each time I had that thought though I took a hearty sip of my drink trying in vain to wash it away. Miroku was a great friend but I didn't want a friend. I wanted someone to smash my face into.

And then, of course… there was Koga.

Koga had been his normal flirtatious self all evening, his ocean blue eyes connecting with mine before trailing over my entire body between the laughs and the jokes every time we 'conveniently' ran into each other, which, for your information was basically every ten minutes.

I hadn't realized what he was doing though because, well, all I could think about was what was Inuyasha doing at that moment? He hadn't told me about his plans that evening and, to be fair, I hadn't really asked him either. I hadn't wanted to know. I didn't want to think about him and Kikyo anymore. I just… Ugh.

Now, you might be wondering why I am telling you about this party that sucked so much if it sucked so much. I'm telling you this because, well, Miroku had been a really good friend, except… Miroku made a mistake. Just as he and I were growing weary and my curfew was approaching he'd left me alone.

In the wolf's den.

Let me repeat that, just in case you missed the clue there.

I was alone… without my king or my duke… in the wolf's den…

Now let me set that scene for you.

I was standing all by my lonesome, not in the middle of the crowd but off to the side where I thought I was well hidden. The house was packed so much so that you weren't really walking between the rooms so much as you were slithering between loud, moist, gyrating bodies.

God, there was so much tongue too, just writhing around in the air between people. Yuck.

That party was truly an experience for me for a number of reasons, one of which was that it had me wondering if parties had always been like that and I had just been too enraptured by silver and gold to actually notice what happened around me.

No wonder monarchies toppled over and over throughout history. It was far too easy to miss what was right in front of you.

Regardless, despite being in an overly crowded house with a lot of lust weighing down the air, I had felt cold all evening, literally and metaphorically. I had actually shivered a few times despite the sweater dress, leggings, and copious amounts of body heat around me.

It was jarring.

Just… not as jarring as the situation I found myself in when Miroku left me alone.

Now, Miroku hadn't ditched me… Let me explain.

Neither of us were really having a great time that evening, what with me having a conniption every time I thought I saw silver or whenever I incidentally got too close to someone's outstretched tongue and what with Miroku's eyes quietly lingering back over to where we'd last seen Sango before she'd disappeared behind one of the many doors in the house, he and I were ready to leave well before the party was nearing its end.

And we were leaving when suddenly someone had to pee…

It was Miroku. He had to pee.

He'd had a good bit to drink and needed to relieve himself before we walked back to the shrine. I'd let him go not thinking anything of it because we were leaving and it shouldn't have taken him that long to take a piss.

I felt the chill down my back the moment Miroku stepped away from my side. I literally felt the moment that Koga's ice blue eyes found me from across the packed house while I stood defenseless, idly sipping on an empty cup of water. My gaze flitted over to his, eyes widening as I processed that look, recognizing the intent in it.

I've told you he was a predator and well… that evening it was clear to anyone with eyes that he'd found his prey.

That knight wanted a queen and Kikyo wasn't around for me to use as a decoy.

I swallowed thickly and did probably the worst thing imaginable… I reached for my king.

My king who wasn't there.

I gulped down air, shoulders slumping as I watched Koga move through the crowd with a lithe skill and ease, his eyes never leaving mine. My cheeks burned but not in anticipation more in a wow-I-really-miscalculated-this-evening type way as I bit down on my lip. Koga held no reservations in his gaze, he saw a queen standing on her own and thought that his place was by her side.

Just so you and I are clear, it wasn't.

My side was for Inuyasha and him alone.

Well, okay, fine, occasionally Miroku and Sango stood there too but you get my point.

Miroku had left me to go to the bathroom and I had told him that I would be fine for that time, a critical error on both our parts really.

I pretended to sip more water from my empty cup as he stepped into the space before me. Koga didn't waver, instead he grinned, his cheeks a little flushed from the alcohol and eyes slightly hazed over but looking about as relaxed and carefree as I wished I was, standing there still dumbly wagging my hand in the air and wishing that I would feel Inuyasha's claws trace along the edges of my skin to let me know he was there.

I didn't feel that though. And I wouldn't.

It was just air. I was grasping at air pathetically.

I let my hand drop after a moment, smiling weakly at Koga. "H-hey," I mumbled, trying not to sound as upset as I felt.

"Hi," he purred, seemingly oblivious to my internal panic and my weird hand gestures. "Having a good time tonight?"

I nodded slowly, flitting my eyes across the crowd, thinking that if I looked away and tried to put nonverbal distance between us that he wouldn't feel as close as he did when I looked at him. "Yeah," I answered flatly though still trying to sound polite, ignoring the way my voice wavered.

I was too damn old to be such trash at fucking talking.

"I'm glad," he continued undeterred. Truthfully, he was still speaking to me but I had stopped listening. I just… I didn't care and I know that's rude to think and say but I was experiencing withdrawals and it was awful.

I was borderline twitching the longer I went without being able to easily reach for Inuyasha or talk to him. Knowing this, you're probably wondering why at no point after our spat at lunch did I beg or bribe him to come to the party with me.

It's because I had wanted the time alone. I had wanted to use that time to think, which I know is a strange thing to say but let me back up a bit…

Inuyasha had told me that he felt like I was pushing him away and I was still working through that especially when from my perspective everything I had been doing was to keep him close but his words had so cruelly kinda-sorta reminded me of the previous summer when I was in the fitting room with Sango and Miroku.

I hadn't understood that when Inuyasha had kissed me all those months ago, subsequently plunging my entire consciousness into an ambrosial haze so overpowering that I could barely walk out of that party without my knees giving way and crashing into the floor ready to grovel at his feet for even the tiniest lick of a second kiss, that that mayhave looked to him like I was so put off by his actions that I couldn't stand to stay at the party for a moment longer.

Not great… Yup, we all know that now. Well…

I had been so absorbed in my own feelings, insecurities, and thoughts that I hadn't been able to see the world from hisperspective or even begin to contemplate that my actions could have been interpreted in another light. I had been so scared of being exposed for something I had yet to understand that I had feared he might actually see through me and… reject me… a concept that was growing more and more ludicrous in my mind with each passing day.

The problem was what Inuyasha had seemed to be telling me was that I wasn't seeing the whole situation or, at the very least, I wasn't looking at from the correct angle. Okay, cool… but how the hell do you correct your own vision?

Do you see what I'm saying here? Like, okay, I was clearly struggling to see and understand his perspective, which I hadn't realized before but while that knowledge was helping me understand that my insecurities were a me issue and not something universal I still didn't feel like I could see him that clearly.

I couldn't help but think about all of that, even as I stood at Koga's party without Inuyasha, ignoring the heavy and heated gazes Koga kept giving me in a weak bid to win my attention.

Inuyasha had made it sound like I pushed him and Kikyo together and the more I looked at it from that understanding the less I liked what he was insinuating because Inuyasha was almost saying without saying that I had pushed them together, conveniently, after he had kissed me.

And I hated that idea…

I hated the notion that my king may have ever gotten that idea from me or my actions. It was more than painful it was exasperating and took the air from my lungs any time it crossed my mind.

I bit down hard on my cheek, ignoring Koga's joke as I thought about homecoming too. Inuyasha and I had shared a stunning dance and what had I done in response? I hadn't said anything to him all night after that and then when we ran into Kikyo at the mall I had ignored him. I had scared him so badly with how I'd reacted to those events and the news about Fridays that Inuyasha had actually waited for me first thing in the morning because he was so distraught with what had happened that he literally couldn't wait until we got to school to talk to me and make sure we were okay.

Yeah… not a great look… To anyone outside my head it would look like I ran from him every single time he got close to me. That needed rectifying immediately.

"You looking for someone?" Koga had asked, pulling me out of my thoughts.

Okay, first of all, rude, clearly you and I are talking here.

"Um," I paused, my brows coming together because, secondly, yes… I was always looking for my king. "S-sorry," I responded, tilting my plastic cup back up only to frown as I remembered that nothing was actually in it. I sighed.

I should have just smiled and stayed quiet but I was an idiot who had sent the man of my dreams into the arms of another after he'd kissed me so really my continued idiocy was consistent with my character at that age. Oh well. Point being, when I had sighed despondently at my drink after thinking about how shitty all my actions must have looked from Inuyasha's point of view, Koga took notice. Even if my mind was far away, he had his eyes on the prize.

Me.

What a valiant and gallant knight he was…

Koga immediately draped his arm around my shoulder so tightly I squeaked beneath him, seizing his opportunity. He laughed haughtily and pushed us both in the direction of the kitchen. I reflexively turned, looking behind me for Miroku or, you know, Inuyasha.

Inuyasha had been so insufferable to deal with at school earlier that day. He had told me to go to the party, knowing I had wanted to, but he still pitched a whole fit about it. He'd even growled at me. Inuyasha had made Miroku swear to watch over me and had threatened him, warning Miroku that if he abandoned me at all during the party that death would be too kind a punishment.

It seemed that Miroku would be experiencing something worse than death later on as Koga guided me firmly to the kitchen.

"I know you like that nasty cinnamon shit," he commented teasingly, almost certainly referring to fireball though I narrowed my gaze at him, noting the snark in his tone and the way he was all too happy to have me alone. The cinnamon comment, I wasn't so dumb that I didn't realize it could also apply to the hearts I gave Inuyasha, his rival for my heart.

Koga laughed off the heat of my gaze, letting his hand drag along my shoulders as he stepped around me to grab me a drink.

"Just water, thanks," I murmured, nibbling down on my lip. I turned again, looking back out into the crowd, shoulders slumping as I wondered what the fuck was taking Miroku so damn long? He was a man after all… While I had never made it an educational point to watch a man pee I assumed it should have been a quick and easy endeavor.

I heard Koga laugh and the faucet run as he filled a new plastic cup with water.

I didn't care to ask what he thought was so funny. I was tired.

Tired of the whole situation really.

Tired of feeling the distance between Inuyasha and I.

Tired of seeing Kikyo's ridiculous face.

Mostly though, I was tired of making mistakes. Sure, I was human, and it's human to err but… I needed to stop making the same mistakes. Standing in that kitchen, spilled alcohol and beer lining the counters, with a wolf licking his chops as he handed me water and leaned in a little too close, sidling up to my side like it was his pleasure to do so, I was determined. I wasn't going to push Inuyasha away.

Not again.

I wasn't going to encourage him to see Kikyo anymore. I was going to… well… what was I going to do? I was still working out most of the details but I was feeling closer to an answer. I knew I was done backing down but I was still putting together a precise battle plan.

I had come here to think.

I know that sounds dumb but Inuyasha was such a presence to me whereas, Koga for example, wasn't. Koga could flirt with me all night, and he had been but it did nothing for me. I felt no butterflies. I felt no heat. I just… I was there next to him.

There was some clarity in my mind even with him breathing on me because my mind wasn't fogged over with inescapable infatuation. I had some space to breathe even if Koga's proximity to me as I sipped on the water he'd given me begged to differ.

Don't get me wrong, I hated the space from Inuyasha. I really, really did. I wanted nothing more than to be pressed up against him until I collapsed in on my self from the fervor of my own passion like a star imploding into a black hole but doing that wouldn't really help me see the light at the end of my own tunnel vision…

Even with Koga standing a little too close, as I sipped on a now full cup of water, his eyes dancing over every inch of my face like it was his to claim while trying to entertain me with some story that I really didn't care about because it didn't involve the only man that ever occupied my waking thoughts, I could still see more clearly than when Inuyasha blinded my vision.

That's why I had wanted to come to the party without him. I had wanted a minute to try and think through what I wanted to do because I couldn't keep doing what I had been doing.

"You seem distracted," Koga murmured, still smiling because of course he was.

I nodded a little. I wasn't going to lie to him. He didn't captivate me. He didn't fill me with fire or heat. I stood there with the full brunt of his affection directed at me and I swear Clorox commercials gave me a greater sense of wonder and breathlessness.

He didn't need to know that though…

"You don't have to be nervous," Koga teased, trying to make light of my otherwise impassive mannerisms.

I smiled wanly. Why did he think I was nervous? I mean, maybe I was, but not over him.

I felt my phone vibrate and I reached for it unthinkingly, wondering if it was Miroku trying to locate me after I'd been moved from the spot where we'd parted ways earlier. Except, it wasn't him. I subconsciously bit down on my bottom lip, the corners of my lips tugging upward.

It was my king; Inuyasha.

And he…

He sent me an emoji.

I stared at the simple message.

Really, it was nothing at all special but… ugh where the fuck was Miroku?! I wanted to go home so that I could just stare at that ridiculously banal message until my eyes bled because Inuyasha sent me an emoji! Sure, I had practically demanded he do so but… oh my god!

I felt a thumb tug on my bottom lip before I could even remember which way was up. My gaze immediately moved from my phone, connecting with ice. I watched those blue eyes darken with hunger as he swept his thumb over my lip and leaned in closer. Koga had reached forward while I had been distracted, undeterred as ever, his claw tipped finger pulling my lip free.

I blushed because I couldn't actually control that mechanism and just blinked at him in surprise, wondering what on Earth he was planning to do because was he really that oblivious? He was hitting on me while I was in the middle of swooning over another in front of him.

"Kagome!"

Finally!

His voice though not the catharsis I really needed was more than enough to help me relax. I turned away from Koga, still feeling the pad of his finger brush over my skin as I moved, seeing Miroku push through the crowd to reach us. I smiled over at him, not a weak smile but a real one because I was so ready to go home.

My duke walked up to me, placing a hand on my shoulder and narrowing his gaze at Koga. "Yo," he muttered, eyeing the proximity between us.

I stepped back, laughing nervously. "Thanks for inviting us," I stated as sweetly as I could, "but it's almost my curfew."

Koga sighed, straightening up and nodding toward my friend. "Alright," he smirked.

Which… why was he smirking? I was literally leaving him… again…

I didn't know and, like I said, I really didn't care. I had a message with an emoji waiting for me that I wanted to analyze until my eyes bled from it's magnanimous beauty.

Miroku gave Koga a curt nod in that typical and super manly fashion that was meant to say bye without using the word 'bye' before heading in the direction of the room where all the coats and sweaters of our classmates were stored.

I smiled toward Koga, lifting a hand and readying myself to say bye like a normal person with a wave when I realized why he'd smirked as I felt his hand wrap around my wrist, abruptly pulling me closer. I flushed and gaped immediately, surprised and caught off guard, pressed up against his chest and feeling the heat of his breath fan out over me.

My first thought… it wasn't eloquent but I feel like it's at least accurate… my first thought upon realizing the precarious position I found myself the moment Miroku left me again was oh-fucking-shit-fuck because… fucking-shit-fuck!

I felt an arm slide around my back and that hand that had been around my wrist cupped my chin, tilting my face toward his where I was smacked with icy blue eyes right in front of mine. He told me something about having a fun time with me that evening, which I thought was absurd because if you added up all the time he and I had actually spent together it was like twenty minutes tops over the course of four hours… but whatever.

I reached out, placing the palms of my hands on his chest, readying myself to push away from him when I felt it… I felt his lips press against mine.

It was a split second of contact because I was already moving to put distance between us. It was so brief, much like the kiss I had shared with Inuyasha but it was also so, so different.

Not since Inuyasha had a man held me so closely but I just… I felt nothing. I never got even remotely close to that same high that Inuyasha gave me from his mere presence and Koga had just kissed me.

The cogs in my brain jolted forward as I remembered where I was and what was happening. I pulled away quickly, pressing my hands against his chest and laughed awkwardly because if I didn't laugh I thought I might scream. I wanted to go home and that hadn't done anything to change my mind. It had only made me realize that leaving my king had been… stupid.

He was gracious, Koga, even in the face of rejection. There was and still is a part of me that will always admire him for that but I didn't then. I was tired…

I squeaked out a thanks to Koga for inviting us but I would never again let him close enough to have my lips. I walked away from him, shivering as I located Miroku in the other room, not because I missed Koga's touch but because he'd never given me enough heat to be warm in the first place.

I bit down on my lip as Miroku and I walked out not because I was nervous but because unlike after tasting my best friend, I didn't care about preserving the flavor of Koga's affection.

His lips wouldn't haunt me nor would his kiss cling to my very heart and soul. I wouldn't crave Koga after all was said and done.

Not at all like I did Inuyasha.

As I left the party that evening, both of us walking back to my home, listening to Miroku tell me about some rumor he heard while waiting for the bathroom, I knew without a doubt that it wasn't any ol' boy's attention I craved.

I craved a king.

My king.

And that was hard.

Because while I had been toiling over what silly and minuscule actions to take to show Inuyasha that I wasn't pushing him away, Koga had unintentionally made me confront something so much worse.

He'd made me realize that…

I either had to tell Inuyasha how I felt about him under the prayer that he felt the same…

Or I had to accept that I would never feel that burn again.

My mother smiled and thanked Miroku when he dropped me off. We waited with him until his parents drove away. I swallowed thickly, hearing my mother yawn next to me as the house fell silent.

"Did you have a fun night, sweetie?" She asked, her voice tired and soft.

"No," I answered, my gaze falling to the ground as I kicked at imaginary dirt on the floor.

Her head tilted to the side and that lovely smile that always told me everything would be okay fell a little. "What happened?"

My shoulders slumped and I felt an ache forming behind my eyes. "I-I miss Yash," I mumbled. It was so true that it literally hurt. Somewhere between that unwelcome epiphany following Koga's kiss and my arrival home, I'd lost all interest in the emoji he'd sent me, instead succumbing to the realization that I was so fucking doomed.

Like majorly.

I'd probably never have a good kiss again. It was truly tragic.

She stepped closer and sifted her hand through my gross, matted hair as tenderly as possible. "You'll see him very soon, it'll be okay."

I nodded but it didn't feel like it would be okay. I was seeing him the next day for a bit but the following morning felt like it was so far away after I'd already gone hours without him. How the hell would I get through the rest of the night? For fuck's sake, I could already feel my heart losing the will to beat anymore.

"Why don't you go wash up and I'll make you some tea?" She hummed, ushering me up the stairs quickly.

"Okay," I whispered, turning my back to face her for a brief moment before walking up to my room. I pulled off the clothes I had felt so confident in a few hours prior and padded to the shower in my robe. I let the water heat up as I looked at my phone again, feeling a pang of regret as I realized that…

I'd never responded earlier.

Shit.

I swallowed hard again and felt the first tear drip down my cheek when I saw that Inuyasha had texted me again…

My heart plummeted.

[You home?]

It was so simple but to me it was asking so much.

With shaking fingers I replied, not expecting an answer. I was late.

In more ways than one.

[I am now! :) ]

I stepped into the steaming water and leaned against the cool side of the shower, frowning. At least the shower was hot enough to make me feel something.

I heard my phone buzz over the sound of the spraying water and I swear I almost punched a hole through the shower curtain when I shoved my arm toward that stupid device so quickly.

I smiled so brightly it almost hurt. Inuyasha texted back. He was still awake. He wanted to come over and I couldn't tell him 'yes' fast enough. I knew I should have asked my mother before telling him it was okay to pop over but I figured that, as her daughter, I had plenty of time to ask for forgiveness and she was probably too tired to listen to me beg at her feet for that long anyway.

I finished my shower in record time and threw on a tank top and shorts then bounded down the stairs, yelling, "Mom can Yash come over still?! It's not that late is it?! Can we go pick him up?!" My voice was loud and desperate. I was not above groveling…

"I don't think that will be necessary," she replied in a cheery voice while standing by the doorway holding a mug for me with fresh tea as I crashed into the kitchen, panting and confused.

"What?" I blinked, water works already beginning to form along my eye line, eyes going wide. I was prepared to go nuclear - as in full on screaming, crying, and rolling on the floor - if that was what it took to see him. "I-I don't-"

My question was interrupted by slurping from behind me.

I whirled around, expecting to see that my annoying ass little brother had woken up and was being a pain. Instead, I was met with heat.

His eyes were so warm and brilliant as they looked over at me from the top of his cup that I immediately teared up, my bottom lip trembling as I looked back at him. I ignored the cup of tea that my mother was holding and ran to him, wrapping Inuyasha tightly in my embrace. His voice was music to my deprived ears even as he berated me for tackling him while he had a hot drink in his hand.

"Jeez," Inuyasha sneered all while he hugged me back, his touch tearing through me, tingles of electricity sparking beneath his embrace. It hurt so good to see him.

"Be good, you know the rules," my mother yawned, reminding us half-heartedly, as she placed my cup on the counter then waved dismissively at us, walking toward her room. I'd have to do something really special for her soon to thank her for knowing what I needed before I did.

I didn't care if he would make fun of me for it later or even then, I clutched Inuyasha so tightly and just told him the truth. "I missed you so much," I murmured into his chest, squeezing him and trying in vain to get closer to him even though doing so would require breaking the laws of physics.

He didn't say anything but I felt his hold on me tighten.

Then I heard him chew on something…

I looked up and glared into his ethereal eyes but there was no real anger, watching him drop a couple cinnamon hearts into his mouth. "Are you serious right now?" I asked flatly.

He was such a goddam tease and he didn't even know it. Inuyasha had no idea how much that little, ridiculous action alone made me want to dive into mania.

"What?" He asked jokingly, as if he didn't know what I was referring to, between crunching down on the little treats.

I swallowed thickly and let my gaze hover over to the box he was holding as I pulled back, tears pricked at my eyes but my smile was so large and genuine. He watched me so closely and I just… I was so warm. He continued to crunch on the damn things, looking at me with anticipation and almost challenge, as if silently asking me what I would do about his little snack and I well…

I smirked over at him, an idea forming in my mind before I flashed Inuyasha my most innocent grin, looking up at him through my lashes. I watched his breath hitch and I seized on my moment.

I swiped his stupid candies and ran.

"Kags!" Immediately, Inuyasha was in utter disbelief as I bolted, shoving my hand into the box and stealing several candies for myself. They didn't taste as good as he had but I certainly appreciated them a little more now.

It took him a minute for the shock to wear off but then he was running after me. I couldn't help but laugh and shriek in unfettered delight.

Have I mentioned before that the fucker is fast?

Because the fucker is fast.

I thought I had at least a second before he'd be right there but I was wrong.

"Oh my god," I cried, giggling like the love-sick moron I was before I haphazardly dove sideways into the couch as he reached out for the box. He missed, his fingers curling through air and I continued to laugh, taunting him with hiscandy. "Aw, you were so close too!" I exclaimed mockingly.

"What has gotten into you?" He asked, his voice light and airy, a smile dancing on his lips as he spoke, those gold eyes twinkling with bright and brazen glee.

That's when I knew.

He'd missed me too.

"What?" I answered feigning innocence before biting down on my bottom lip as I dangled some of the hearts in my hand, teasing him with the treasure I had stolen. I could barely hear or feel my heart or the flush of heat that made me feel high. I had missed him all fucking evening and Inuyasha was looking at me as I jokingly dangled over my mouth but it was the way a single fang poked out of his boyish grin as he stood there assessing his options while his eyes just looked unabashedly at me that had my head spinning because it wasn't just that his gaze was on me but that he was really seeing me.

I was so scared and excited that nothing else even came close to mattering in my mind. There was nothing but him even as I dropped those hearts into my mouth and watched his head shake a little, gaze all but sparkling.

What? I figured it was only fair for me to have some of his hearts, seeing as he had all of mine and all that fluffy nonsensical junk.

"Come on," Inuyasha admonished without any heat but still wearing that big smile. "Those are mine!"

"Are they? Because from where I'm sitting… they look like they're mine," I joked, crunching on them. I patted the spot next to me on the couch and grinned. "Maybe if you're nice to me I'll share…"

He crooked a thick black brow up, wordlessly walking over, letting me think I'd won. Then he sat on me.

Yup.

On. Me.

"Yash!" I squeaked "get off!" before I started coughing. He exploited my time of weakness and stole the box back.

The worst part? He just stayed there with his butt, that I thought had more muscle or fat or something padding him instead of just bone, digging into my stomach.

"Yash!" I hissed again, swatting at him as he looked totally unbothered eating his damn candy. "I will kill you!"

He peered down at me, "yeah, okay. You do that…"

I hated him so much…

"How are you so heavy?" I wheezed, wiggling under him and trying to free myself. He ignored me but I could feel his body shaking as he chuckled before shoving several more of the little shits into that mouth I wanted to lick clean. I was still coughing like an idiot when I managed to twist my body - with him still on top - but I, erm, I… I underestimated the width of the couch…

We both toppled over immediately, nearly cracking our precious skulls on the coffee table. Inuyasha turned as he fell, landing on his back against the living room floor, hands clasping the top of the box to prevent the candies from spilling out while I ended up splayed out on my stomach to the side of him. He was distracted, gaze focused on the edge of the coffee table that he had been within an inch of crashing into and I…

I took my opportunity.

I threw my body across him and grabbed the box.

"Ha!" I exclaimed, holding up the then mostly empty box with one hand, my other hand planted next to his head giving me stability, before looking down and seeing wide gold eyes with large pupils looking back at me, his cheeks were almost as red as his favorite color, while his hands were rigidly pressed against the floor.

I tilted my head, a little confused by the look of shock on his face until I felt him breathe. I felt him breathe because I was literally on top of him, so close that even the tiny puff of air he had released fanned over the thin and delicate skin covering my collarbones.

My breath hitched in my throat as my gaze fell, realizing how little distance separated us.

I could feel my chest flushing, the heat I felt around him creeping through my entire body. I loved it. Except a small voice reminded me that I was in a tank top. My chest was flushed and the tank top would do absolutely nothing to hide that. I looked down at him again, his eyes were still wide but he wasn't moving.

Most of the time I didn't actually notice when I pulled my bottom lip between my teeth. It was a subconscious tick really… I usually only figured out I'd done it after a few seconds of nibbling on my lip or if someone commented on it.

I didn't know I had done it until I saw his eyes…

I watched his molten amber gaze dip and fixate on my lips.

My heart was absolutely hammering in my chest. I had wanted to burn.

Well, I could feel the fire then.

He hadn't even needed to touch me and my whole body felt like it was boiling and I needed air. My brain it was… static. Useless. And I was just…

Panicking. I was panicking. I didn't even know why I was just freaking out because wow, um, I needed to get off him. I needed a cold shower and-and I just… I grabbed the candies.

I grabbed them from him and declared victory in a husky rasp that confirmed my need for a cold shower, pushing off of him as quickly as I could after spending at least a full goddam minute laying on top of him and just staring at his magnificent face, ignoring the way that my chest rose and fell in exaggerated motions because I still was just trying to breathe.

He laid there for a moment longer, just blinking, before slowly rising and shaking his head. I gave him the best non-holy-fucking-shit smile I could in that moment and I silently wondered if I looked as loopy as I felt because I was swimming in that feeling of euphoria again that was beginning to make lunacy feel sane.

I waited, for what I wasn't sure, but I just, I sucked in as much air as I could as quietly as I could, my eyes locked on him and his movements.

Inuyasha sighed and rolled his eyes but he didn't look angry or irate like I was half-expecting after rolling and dropping him on his ass on the floor. Instead he looked… disappointed?

"Aw, don't be sad," I teased breathlessly, walking to the kitchen and trying to hide the blush that painted my cheeks. "I have plenty more boxes," I murmured, knowing he'd hear me.

He huffed but I listened to him rise and walk toward me from behind, his feet padding along the ground softly even as my heart still raced wantonly in my chest.

"So, you didn't have fun at the party?" He asked, his tone slightly forced.

I had said I needed a cold shower not a fucking ice bath, which is exactly what that comment felt like because it reminded me of… I stiffened. "Um…"

Shit.

I needed to tell him about Koga.

Fuck.

I either told him right then and there or I let him hear it through the grapevine and that would never turn out well.

"I-it wasn't totally terrible, just… erm…" I couldn't breathe but it wasn't like before.

There are different types of breathlessness and inabilities to breathe, at least that's what I have found. Inuyasha made me breathless with anticipation and hope. He made me literally so excited and so enthralled that I didn't want to miss a single thing and so I subconsciously just stopped breathing because I needed every single damn fiber of my brain to process the ecstasy I felt around him.

The inability to breathe I was having then, after he'd reminded me that he was the only thing that would ever satiate my doomed soul, as I tried to force out the words I didn't want to tell him, was more like choking. It was like there was something, likely my own shame and fear, literally blocking my windpipe. It hurt and tugged on my lungs like a rip cord.

I gulped a little too loudly as I tried to think of the best way to phrase what had happened that evening. I didn't really feel like blurting that another man's kiss had ended up sending me so far down into my already endless spiral of amor for my king that I had almost collapsed in a heap on the sidewalk and rolled into traffic, especially after I had so unknowingly but forcefully shoved my entire lumpy goddam chest in his face.

He came up to me, those eyes that filled me with such pleasure looking me over, concern then veiled anger passing through them. "Are you okay? Did something happen?"

Oh my king… my sword and my shield… His entire demeanor shifted, just like that, ready to tear down castles and walls in my honor.

"No one hurt me," I stated hurriedly, a nervous laugh breaking free. I had forgotten. Miroku had promised to keep me safe. I looked away because, really, I couldn't look at him as I said it. "Koga kissed me for a second…" Probably less than that but… I was in love with Inuyasha after a kiss that last for like maybe 0.00000001 seconds so really I wasn't in the position to demean it…

Telling Inuyasha honestly felt like taking a bullet. My fucking hair ached and my stomach threatened to send all those cinnamon hearts I'd stolen right back up.

I wasn't looking at his eyes but I could see his entire body tense in my periphery as the meaning of my words crashed into him.

He snarled and I saw him immediately dig for his phone.

"I'm fine!" I exclaimed, putting down the candies and clasping my hands around his, trying to stop him from taking out his anger on Miroku. "It's not Miroku's fault… I… he… Koga found me when Miroku was going to the bathroom. It was quick and I excused myself." I knew I didn't owe him an explanation. He was dating Kikyo after all and I wasn't dating anyone. I was allowed to kiss around but I still felt like I needed to explain that it wasn't intentionally sought out. That I hadn't actively tried to kiss another.

I had just been too slow to stop it.

It was dumb but I felt like that explanation, that distinction, was necessary. Inuyasha and I, at that time, we were in such a strange space. Both so close and so far apart. I mean… I had basically shoved his entire face into my chest not five minutes earlier… but it was something different than that. He and I were… we weren't ourselves, we were off kilter and I didn't-I didn't want him to think I was running to a knight for protection when all I really wanted was to spend every waking and sleeping hour with my king.

I didn't want to give him another reason to think that I was pushing him away when I had spent the entire night and walk home wishing it had been his lips and his touch that evening instead of a wolf's.

I knew my truth was that I knew that a kiss could be just a kiss or it could be so much more. Koga's kiss was nothing. Inuyasha's kiss? Well that wrecked my whole goddamn world.

I could see the anger and something else I didn't quite understand in his gaze but I kept my hands curled around his. He didn't pull away and I refused to even though I was so nervous. His ears flattened and I saw his lip twitch in a quick, tiny snarl before he put his phone away.

He wanted to give me shit. I saw it in every fiber of his tense frame. Inuyasha wanted to make some snide remark about Koga and I, but he held back. He chewed on the inside of his cheek and turned away from me.

"Let's talk about something else…" I stated. It wasn't so much a suggestion as a plea.

I knew I wasn't wrong per se. Again, I was allowed to kiss around and yet I couldn't shake the feeling that it felt like I had failed him. I hated it, loathed it really.

"Fine," Inuyasha growled, walking over and grabbing his tea that he'd discarded earlier in favor of holding me. Inuyasha yawned and I looked around the room awkwardly.

"Are you tired?" I asked.

He didn't answer me for a moment, his head tilting to the side and an impassive expression that I cared less for than his anger settling into his features. He looked eerily like his brother as he repressed whatever it was that I could tell hewanted to say but didn't. "Not really," Inuyasha answered, finally looking back at me.

I gave him a weak smile and grabbed my cold tea that was on the counter and extended my free hand to him. "Come on," I stated, holding out my hand and tilting my head toward the T.V. He stared at it for a second but still slid a clawed one on top.

We walked over to the living room and sat on the floor. I put on some trash reality show that neither of us were particularly big fans of but would be more than enough to fill the silence around us until someone fell asleep.

There was a small gap between us and I stared at it for a minute. I didn't know if it was intentional or not but I didn't want it to be there anymore.

So, I slid closer. He turned and looked at me as I leaned up against him.

He could be as mad as he wanted over Koga. That wouldn't change the past. I could be as mad as I wanted over Kikyo but that wouldn't change the future. That wouldn't bring us closer.

But I could try to close the gap. Literally and metaphorically.

"I really missed you, Yash," I whispered, facing forward and staring at the T.V., my little heart pounding more than it should at such an otherwise banal statement that shouldn't have felt as heavy as it did being shared between two friends who were as close as we were.

I felt him lean back against me.

"I missed you too, Kags."

I had a hell of a time sleeping that night, which is really to say that I didn't sleep. I woke up over and over again. I knew what it was, my feelings were eating me alive. As I awoke for, I don't even know, the fifteenth time that evening and sighed more heavily than I meant to, I stared out the living room window. I could see that the sun was starting to rise and my shoulders sagged.

He rustled next to me, "what's wrong?"

I jumped a little, not actually expecting him to wake up. I knew he was a light sleeper but he usually just groaned or threw a pillow at me and told me to be quiet.

"Oh nothing," I tried, waving my hand dismissively even as he sat up, blinking slowly and ears pressed back. It was his grumpy face. Evidently I'd kept him up all night too and he was tired of my shit.

Whoops.

Inuyasha rolled his eyes and glared at me, waiting for me to continue.

I bit down on my lip and shoved my face back into my pillow. "I can't sleep!" I exclaimed, voice muffled.

"Yeah… I got that already…"

I peaked my head out, huffing. He patted my head, not like a nice pet or anything but like a pat pat on the top of my head while still glaring forward.

I saw up immediately and looked at him. "I… I never asked about your evening. How'd your date go?"

His ears pressed further into his head, if that was possible, and his eyes narrowed into tiny slits as he turned to face me. "Is that what fucking kept you up?"

"No." It truthfully wasn't. I was trying to understand why telling him about Koga had felt tantamount to admitting to cheating on him when I wasn't dating either of them. That's what kept me up. It felt like a very strange and unhealthy feeling to have.

Then I looked at how close he and I were. My chest swelled with warmth and I even felt my cheeks burn a little because, I realized, there really wasn't any distance between us.

Inuyasha groaned and rubbed his eyes, still not looking at me. "It was fine." I didn't really believe his answer. If his night was so fine I didn't understand how he'd ended up spending the evening with me.

I frowned a little at his answer, feeling that inclination to push him on his reply and come back at him before I stopped myself, my mouth opening and closing as I realized that… wasn't that exactly what he had been angry at me over? It made me pause and I looked at him again. He was yawning and seemed utterly and totally disinterested in the subject, as if I had asked him about class with Miroku.

Actually, that subject would have probably been more interesting to him…

My head tilted to the side and his gaze flickered to me, perceiving me again as a black brow lifted in question. "What?" He asked dryly.

"Can I ask… how-how much do you like Kikyo?"

Inuyasha looked skeptical of my question. He looked me over twice and I saw his nose twitch, trying to glean something from my scent but I just sat there, genuinely interested in the answer. He had been giving me noncommittal answers for months but I had never actually just come out and asked if he liked her or not. I had just assumed…

He frowned, I presumed he did so when he couldn't detect anything more than my burning curiosity to understand his relationship and all the things I was beginning to see as odd. Why didn't he ever seem thrilled to be around her? Weren't people supposed to be super excited about their relationships?

I huffed when he sat there silently, still analyzing me. "Yash, do you like her or not? Why is this a hard question?" I pressed, a little annoyed and cranky from his reluctance to give me a straight answer and lack of sleep. "The other day you made it sound like I pushed you both together… I thought she was who you wanted and that you were just… I don't know, being shy?" I explained, sighing afterward.

"I like her fine," he muttered, his cheeks turning slightly pink. "But… you're… you're you. Stop making it sound like it's a fucking competition."

I slumped at his answer because it really… it really wasn't what I was expecting to hear and it really didn't provide me with any clarity on the situation. "I don't…" I paused, "I don't understand…"

What the hell does 'you're you' mean? I mean, yeah… I am me… Who else would I be?

Inuyasha faced away from me, shifting and looking a little uncomfortable, ears still pressed back as he spoke. "When she's around, you get angry then you tell me that I should spend more time with her but then you get upset that I'm not spending time with you. You're more important to me."

I was his best friend. I had better be more important than her but I digress.

"I don't understand why you feel like there's a competition between her and I-" I began. He glared at me so quickly I had to stop mid-sentence. Inuyasha was not here for my bullshit.

"Okay fine," I snapped, "what do you want from me? She's like perfect!" I exclaimed, crossing my arms over my chest. Look, I thought Kikyo sucked as a person but that was because my view of her was tainted from both of us wanting to grab Inuyasha by the ears and smother him in every way shape and form. To literally anyone else, she was flawless. Kikyo was smart, kind, thoughtful, had developed on time and dressed impeccably.

And I was… I wore flip flops in winter and needed to shave my legs more but got lazy and just wore long pants and then shoved said unkempt legs in front of the guy I liked when he irritated me and yelled at him to 'appreciate the fuzz.' In my head it was never a competition to begin with. Kikyo was the flawless usurper and I was the gross kid that spit milk when she laughed too hard.

Inuyasha scoffed immediately. "No one is perfect," he stated while rolling his eyes. "Why do you get so insecure around her?"

Um… was it not obvious? Please see all the statements above.

"Yash… do you even use your eyes?" I commented dryly.

"What…"

"She's gorgeous!" I whined. Yes, whined. Like full on child-about-to-throw-a-tantrum-because-the-world-isn't-fair-oh-woe-is-me whine. "Who wouldn't find her attractive and want to be with her?!"

"What does that have to do with you?" He asked, blinking at me like I was the one who didn't make any sense.

I gave him a face. "What do you mean?"

"I don't get what her being pretty has to do with you not feeling pretty," he answered plainly.

I frowned. I was about to tell him that no one would pick a bean turned lumpy potato or whatever I was after my uh… growth spurt… especially when they were given the option of having someone who looked like a model, a.k.a. Kikyo, but my mother walked into the room.

"Oh good morning!" She sang, waving energetically at both of us, obviously a little surprised that we were already up.

I groaned and shoved my face back into my pillow, ignoring the way my mother and Inuyasha both shrugged and exchanged confused glances.

"Tea?" She asked.

"Yeah, I'll take some," Inuyasha murmured.

"Same," I muttered from my pillow.

"Great!" My mother chirped, "I'll start breakfast too!"

"Awesome…"

"If you're really that tired you can just go back to bed," Inuyasha grumbled, poking me in the side with a claw. I swatted at him.

"I'm getting up…"

And I did. I slowly sat up, a tiny frown tugging at the corners of my lips while feeling the bags under my eyes pull at the delicate skin there. I exhaled loudly then stood, following Inuyasha into the kitchen. My mother was back on her bullshit - I say with as much love and affection as I can for the woman because she was and forever will be a true angel but I was cranky and not in the mood to have a full conversation after Inuyasha had put me on the spot for feeling insecure around his girlfriend - and immediately launched into a conversation with my king.

I sat there listening and engaging occasionally, sipping on my tea and eating the food she placed in front of me but what really struck me wasn't breakfast but what happened right after his mother arrived. She came in as she normally did, all big smiles and gossiping with my mother in the other room while Inuyasha got his things together and I awkwardly watched.

That was always the worst part, seeing him leave. I never liked it. I never really got used to it. Even if I knew I'd be seeing him again I still didn't actually like the gap. He picked up his things quietly and I leaned against the wall, unconsciously nibbling on my lip while spacing out.

He didn't have a lot to pull together since our sleepover was so much shorter than normal and before either me or his mother anticipated, he'd gathered his stuff.

I gave him a weak smile and fidgeted with my fingers as he came to stand beside me. "Thanks for coming over last night," I murmured. "It was a really nice surprise."

"You don't need to thank me," he muttered but didn't otherwise speak for a moment. I saw his ears flicker and his gaze flit over to where our mothers were, likely seeing where they were in their conversation. A second later I heard his mother saying bye to mine and saw her enter the hall.

"Ready?" Izayoi cooed, looking at her son and I with a big grin.

He nodded and let her walk ahead of him toward the car. I smiled wanly and waved, "I'll see you later," before turning and taking a step toward the kitchen.

His hand caught my wrist so quickly I barely caught myself before I slipped and fell.

"What gives?" I hissed, looking down at my wrist then up at him, before he addressed me and well… before he broke my goddam brain.

"Kags," Inuyasha began again, in a soft hush that had me leaning in a little to hear him better, gold eyes finding mine and narrowing slightly. "Stop being insecure around Kikyo. You're being stupid. You're beautiful. Stop doubting that."

He released my wrist, spun around on his heels and just left me there, sputtering like a dodo bird or something in my own hallway, gawking at his back as he walked over to his mother after… after…

It was such a simple statement but it…

I swallowed thickly, my heart pounding, eyes wide, and skin hot to the touch. 'You're beautiful. You're beautiful. You're beautiful.' It played on a loop in my mind as I walked right by the kitchen and my mother, up the stairs, into my room, closed the door, then sank down against it until I reached the floor, my hands clutching my heart.

We normally spent all Saturday together after our Friday sleepovers unless one of us had something to do or needed to catch up on school work. I had told him I needed to catch up on school work but that had been a lie.

His birthday was coming up and I had wanted the time to go over plans with my mother in private so that we could try to surprise him like we did every year.

I exhaled loudly and let my head fall back against the door. He'd never once called me beautiful before.

Not once.

I was a dumb mess in school. Like… it was bad. Every time I saw Inuyasha - every… single… time… - I just I had that image of him in the hallway, his voice so soft and sultry, everything about him warm and intense, telling me 'you're beautiful' over and over in my head. My heart trembled and screamed in my chest even as I could tell he was starting to get concerned over my behavior.

I didn't care though.

Why?

Because he thought I was beautiful dammit!

My king!

My best friend!

The owner of my favorite set of lips!

Ugh, it was the most divine torture.

Now, what behavior specifically had Inuyasha so concerned? Well… I began acting externally how I had felt internally all along; like a gaggling school girl with a massive crush. For example, at lunch that day, what should have been a totally normal and not at all strange experience was decidedly abnormal because the moment that Inuyasha sat down next to me I blushed. Not even a little, dainty, cute little thing but full on my ear could feel the heat type of blush as I looked down at my lunch and practiced breathing.

"Okay… um… what's wrong with you?" Sango asked, slowly sliding into her seat across from Inuyasha and I, her mulberry gaze immediately seeing my fire-engine red face.

I rolled my eyes and took a massive bite out of my sandwich. Yeah, there was not a shot in hell I was explaining my fucked up situation in front of Inuyasha in the middle of lunch. It really was not the time for that.

"She's been like that since first period," Inuyasha replied, giving me side eye before eating his lunch. "I'm not sure what the fuck is wrong with her…"

I put my sandwich down and glared at him. Okay, I didn't really glare at him because looking at him was a little overwhelming but I glared at the spot next to him then flicked him with all my might.

Miroku sat down next, immediately poking me and ignoring the color on my face. "Hey."

"Hi," I replied cautiously. "What's up?"

"What are we doing for Inuyasha's birthday?" He asked, totally ignoring the half-demon who growled instantly.

"Nothing," Inuyasha asserted.

Miroku rolled his eyes, "I wasn't asking you and now you know why." He turned back to me. "So… what are you planning for his birthday?"

"M-me?" I stammered, "nothing. Nada. Why… why would you think that?"

Sango and Miroku both rolled their eyes. "Cut the crap, you plan something every year. We know it's coming up. Can we not do this charade every year?" Sango bemoaned, pointing at me with her spork.

I huffed.

There was always someone trying to ruin my surprises. Usually it was Inuyasha, himself, so I was a little frustrated when my duke and duchess decided to rain on my little parade. Like, seriously, I always told them what the plan was… they didn't need to ask me in front of him! It wasn't going to be a secret from them.

Some people… I swear.

"Kags," Inuyasha whined, his head falling back and everything in a full body whine. "You don't need to do anything for it…"

I flicked him again.

Yes I fucking did.

It was his birthday! Inuyasha could complain or whine until the end of time itself. As long as I was alive he would get a fucking birthday party and it would be amazing dammit!

So I swatted at him because he needed to know that even if he didn't expect anything from me he would be getting something.

He turned and glowered at me. I looked back at him, stifling the image of him complimenting me so that I could muster some type of fierce look to give back. "Look," I began, poking him with a finger, "you can either help me plan something for you… or you don't get to complain when the theme of your sixteenth birthday party is cotton candy and rainbows, got it?"

Inuyasha exhaled sharply and shook his head. "Ramen. I just want ramen…"

I mean, duh.

That was not a helpful suggestion in the slightest.

I hadn't realized that he had continued to think about that though. At least, not until after school that day. I was still trying to steady my racing heart as he and I met up after school to walk together to the shrine. His mother had a late shift so he was going to be with my family most of the evening.

What a tragedy… I know. I mean… it may have been for him because I was still a mess but…

As we were walking though, he was oddly silent. I hadn't really realized it initially because I was lost in thought.

"Kags," he murmured, breaking me out of my plotting and planning.

I reflexively looked over at him and paused mid-stride, eyes widening because the boy was… blushing. What fresh hell…

"Uh… yes?"

"Um," Inuyasha paused too, running a hand through his bangs, amber gaze looking all around except back at me as he spoke. "Whatever you're planning…"

I had a heart sinking moment as I stood there watching him fidget in a manner that I rarely if ever saw him do. I was sure he was going to ask me if Kikyo could come. My shoulders slumped a little and I felt a pang in my heart. I had been so high from when he'd called me beautiful that I had literally forgotten he had a girlfriend.

So I waited, my eyes casting downward as I tried to avoid the pain I had been sure was coming.

"Can you… can you make that ramen that you did last year?"

My eyes shot up so fast as I gaped at him in surprise. He wasn't looking at me as he asked, instead he was staring at the ground.

"You… liked it?" I asked softly. I had burned the fucking shit! And he… he wanted more burned garbage noodles?!

Inuyasha nodded.

I inhaled a long drag slowly, my lips turning up in a big smile as I nodded. "Yeah, of course."

"Great," he spit out, turning on his heels and immediately resuming our walk to the shrine.

I giggled a little. Inuyasha was acting so flustered over something that, really, seemed like such a small matter. I didn't understand but I'd be lying if I said it wasn't cute to watch him try and act like he wasn't instantly more upbeat after I had agreed to make him that recipe from our anniversary the year prior.

Still, there was the matter of his girlfriend…

"Is there… is there anyone special you want to be at your birthday?" I asked with a slight hesitation in my voice that made me wince.

He paused, looking up at the sky for a moment. "No," Inuyasha answered. "I just want to hang out with you."

He kept walking but I just… stood there.

"I like her just fine… You're more important." His words from that weekend replayed in my head as I slowly resumed my walk, trailing him quietly. "You're more important." I hadn't really paid it much mind when he'd said that but I was beginning to think that him calling me beautiful may not have been the most important thing he had said to me that weekend.

"What the fuck…" He exclaimed in a low, breathy puff. I cackled next to Inuyasha as we walked into the arcade, the very same arcade that he, Miroku, Sango and I attended several Sundays out of the year, for his sixteenth birthday party.

He had no idea what was coming. I did. So I could laugh knowing full well that my king had a day fit for royalty ahead of him.

That's right, a full day.

Inuyasha looked around and shook his head. Everyone was there. Okay, not like everyone but anyone who he interacted with and had even an ounce of liking for was there. As such, our parents, Sango and Kuranosuke, Miroku and Koharu, Kohaku and Sota, Jinenji and Shiori from some of his electives, and, yes, even Kikyo. They were all there.

I watched his nose twitch and I giggled.

One thing that wasn't there? Ramen.

That's right.

There was no ramen at the arcade. I smiled knowingly, as I watched his brows furrow, gaze flickering over every surface in the place as if he was truly unable to believe that the heavenly aroma of ramen did immediately fill his nostrils, doubting his own senses before he even thought to doubt me. But when he didn't smell or see it, that's when Inuyasha turned to me, questioning look and a cocked eyebrow examining me as I simply smiled up at him.

"Kags," he began, hesitant but also smirking just a teensy bit in such an adorable way that I couldn't help but blush.

I leaned in closer toward him, big grin and all sparkling eyes because he lit my world up. "Don't worry," I whispered, watching as he mirrored my actions, leaning in closer toward me even though I knew he could hear me just fine. I bit on my lip for a moment, giggling as Inuyasha looked at me, waiting for the rest. I watched several emotions pass over his face, just drinking in his excited but forcibly muted expression.

"I have a surprise for later," I finished.

"Right…" He mumbled in a velvety rasp, gold eyes dancing as I restored his hope in getting ramen.

Someone cleared their throat as I opened my mouth to respond. I didn't need to look to know it was Kikyo. I could tell just by the cadence in the cough. But I…

I told you that I had needed to figure out what I wanted to do, what I was going to do with Inuyasha and, standing there, realizing that he wasn't pulling away, that's when I figure it out. That's when I knew what I was going to do.

I was… I was going to wear my heart on my sleeve and if he rejected it, if he didn't want that part of me, he could tellme because, really, I would so much rather him hurt me than for me to hurt him any longer. He was my king and I his queen… I had ceded territory to Kikyo that wasn't hers to begin with and I was going to take that back.

Inuyasha hadn't forgotten who his queen was but I had… and, really, he was doing so much to remind me that… I wasa queen. He gave me confidence and strength. He gave me love and faith, even when I wasn't sure I deserved it. Inuyasha, from that very first moment we met had always pushed me to be a better version of myself, the very best version. The salt to my pepper, our strengths and weaknesses balanced each other and elevated the other.

Inuyasha, you see, he wasn't just my king or my crush, he was my best friend and he didn't just catch me when I fell, he held me up. He was loud, brash, and blunt but his love was quiet and stronger than any other force I ever knew. I had doubted myself for too long and had taken that out on him inadvertently. I was going to make up for that.

I was going to show him that as much as I detested that as we grew up there would be different expectations, responsibilities and the like placed on us, things that would take our time, things that would make me feel insecure, that he was never a doubt in my mind.

He was a king.

My king.

Always and forever.

And that as long as he would have me… I would be his queen.

His queen that pined for him until the end of my days because he was all consuming and devastating in his brilliance and wonder but his queen to have and hold and cherish forever.

So, when Kikyo approached, clearing her throat to announce her presence, I smiled but more importantly… I ignored her. Even though I knew Kikyo was right there I didn't lean away from Inuyasha. I held his gaze and I smiled brighter.

It should have never been about her.

It was all about him.

And he'd told me what he wanted on his day…

I pulled out a bag of tokens for him so that he could play each and every game he wanted but I also made a move. If Kikyo wanted to watch well… here was her show. I unveiled a box of cinnamon hearts and placed them into my king's hands.

He immediately took them.

I leaned away only after that, gaze unwavering as I looked directly at Kikyo. She was frowning and staring at the box I had given him. I waved at her, and gave her my brightest Higurashi smile that practically dripped sugar. "Hi Kikyo," I sang, extending my hand and placing a smaller bag of tokens in hers. "I hope you have fun!"

I didn't wait for an answer. I didn't care because I was going home with him that night and she… she never would.

Sango was waiting for me nearby, arms crossed over her chest, mulberry eyes assessing me closely. "What was that?"

"What was what?" I murmured, feigning innocence as I stood next to her feeling both bold and shy.

Her gaze dropped, giving me a once over. I watched as she tried to stifle her grin as she looked over my dress and my necklace. I was all red and gold. Well, rose gold. "Are you trying to send a message to anyone in particular?" She asked in a cheeky hush.

My cheeks burned as I looked at the floor and began fidgeting with my fingers.

"Kagome, come on," Sango pressed, her voice higher and excited. She could see that I was holding back and she was curious. "Out with it. You've been a blushing mess for weeks! Did-did something between you and Inuyasha…?"

I tried to hide in my hair as it fell forward, my head tilting toward the ground as I sucked in a quick breath and looked around to make sure he wasn't paying attention to the conversation. "It's really dumb…" I mumbled.

"Tell me. Tell me!" She squeaked, hopping in place and clapping her hands together in anticipation, watching as my cheeks reddened further.

"H-he told me that, um… Yash told me that I'm beautiful…" I forced out, feeling so ridiculous and silly to treasure such a tiny little phrase.

"Oh my god!" She exclaimed, bursting into laughter, loud laughter.

I frowned immediately and glared at her irately. "Okay… jeez… I get it. You don't need to laugh at me though," I grumbled.

Miroku walked over, quizzically looking at the both of us with Sango still doubled over in laughter. "Um… Wha-"

He didn't get to finish what he was going to say because Sango grabbed him and pulled him into a tight embrace.

"What did you do to her?!" Miroku hissed, clearly just as surprised by her overt affection as I had been.

"I-I…"

"Miroku, shut up," Sango snapped without any bite but pulled free from the embrace to look at him. "He… Inuyashatold her… that… he thinks she's beautiful…"

Miroku's entire body relaxed immediately and without warning he threw his arms around Sango and squeezed, both of them just laughing like goddam hyenas as I stood there, genuinely worried and frustrated over their odd exchange.

"Mind filling me in?" I snapped, chewing on the inside of my cheek and crossing my arms over my chest. "I mean," I looked down at my outfit. I thought I had looked cute as sin… "do I look bad? Should I change?" I muttered, beginning to pick at my clothes.

Sango released Miroku immediately and whirled around to look at me. "Stop that!" She exclaimed, her hands coming up and smacking into my cheeks before pressing them together like a grandmother might do to a chubby-cheeked infant. Sango held me by my face, leaning in toward me, her mulberry eyes large and stern. "Kagome, that is amazing! I'm so happy he told you that!" She leaned in further, like really close. "Because you are… you are stunning and beautiful… Stop projecting onto Kikyo for fuck's sake!" She hissed out the last part, compressing my cheeks even more as if to emphasize her words.

I swallowed thickly and just stood there blinking. I mean… she was still holding my face and it was kind of starting to hurt but she had a really scary grip…

"What're you guys doing?"

Sango and I both turned, each going a little wide-eyed as Inuyasha looked back at us. He looked more than a little confused but also, dare I say, jealous? "Are you… are you going to kiss her?" He asked, frowning at the idea.

"Oh, that would be fun! Do it!" Miroku cheered.

Sango immediately let go of me and punched them each in the arm. "Get your minds out of the gutter! I wasn't going to kiss her! I was just-" She paused, a devious glint that I loved and hated flickering in her gaze, a smug and knowing grin breaking out across her lips. "We were just telling Kagome how beautiful she looks! I mean… who can resist this face?!" She teased, poking at my sore cheek as I moved away and narrowed my eyes at her.

I gazed over at Inuyasha, wanting to apologize for her behavior but paused because he… he was blushing. And irate. He looked like he wanted to claw Sango's eyes out but was resisting said urge.

"Doesn't she look beautiful, Inuyasha?" Sango continued, looking at him with the same confidence and eagerness that a panther would look at its prey right before pouncing.

He opened his mouth, the blush painting across his face while his glare intensified.

"Okay, but…" I interjected, also feeling warm under her teasing, "seriously, do I need to change? You're freaking me out… I thought it was a cute dress…" I stated, moving around in it and pulling at the ends.

Sango groaned, "ugh, Kagome, you look lovely."

"Eh, you could show a little more skin," Miroku commented dryly. My king smacked him immediately, growling as he did so.

I exhaled loudly and rolled my eyes, dropping my grip on my clothes and reaching into my bag to grab the set of tokens I had set aside for myself. "Well… shall we play some games then?" I muttered, cocking an eye brow and staring at my ridiculous court of royals who I wouldn't trade for anything in the world.

My eyes met Inuyasha's and even though I felt the blush further inflame my cheeks, I held it. I watched the light in his eyes brighten and I swear I could see the corners of his mouth tug up ever so slightly, a faint pink making him look like just your average boy with a crush even though I knew he was so much more.

I walked right over toward him and looped my arm through his, "you ready to lose?" I teased.

"As if," he sneered.