Chapter 4

Gorou went through the motions of the morning - going to the bathroom, dressing up, preparing himself for the day - but his mind was like a broken record, still hung up on last night's bad dream. He knew that reminding himself of these bad memories was only harmful for his own mental health, but he simply couldn't act like he wasn't stuck on it. To his disappointment, this meant that the first dream was not a one-time thing. This was going to continue, and he needed to find a solution. If he doesn't make it stop soon, it will have a negative effect on his relationship with his subordinates, and as the general, that simply won't do.

He warily stepped out into the sunlit area, noting that he ended up being later than usual. "General Gorou!" he heard a voice calling out to him from the distance, and he couldn't help wincing - it reminded him of last night. "No... I can't let this get in the way of my duties! My subordinates need me! I have to pull myself together!" Gorou grit his teeth and forced a reassuring smile on his face. "Coming! Sorry for being late!"

As the day went on, Gorou noticed more and more just how "dangerous" his everyday life was. One after the other, his subordinates would jokingly touch his tail, put a hand on his shoulder from behind, joke about his lack of height in comparison to everybody in the army. And each time Gorou felt like it was a personal reminder of the vulnerable and powerless feeling of those dreams. He knew the soldiers couldn't see his dreams - yet he started feeling suspicious just how often the soldiers reminded him of his shortcomings.

"Pssh! In a physical fight, General Gorou could never take on even one of us! But-"

"Oh really?! Is that how you all see me?! I thought I could trust you guys!" Gorou snapped and yelled at the joking soldier. The man's blood froze in his veins, his face turning pale at the sudden shout. He became flustered and started stuttering a string of apologies, but Gorou was already stomping away, his temper getting the better of him, not hearing the rest of what the soldiers talked about.

"Man, what the hell were you saying! Why would you say something like that?!" another one lightly slapped him on the back of the head.

"I'm telling you, I didn't get to finish! I just wanted to compliment General Gorou about how he is able to overcome all difficult situations with his wits and bravery! I didn't think he'd snap like that!" The soldier looked down at his feet, actually fearing his position's future in the army. Gorou had never acted so hostile and sensitive, and the soldiers were worried about what this had meant for the future.

Meanwhile, Gorou was already in one of the smaller barracks, all empty except for him and his thoughts. "I can't believe they really think this way! All this time, I thought I could trust them, I thought they saw me in a good light! I thought they respected me!" Gorou murmured to himself as he bounced his leg in agitation. His tail stood on edge, his ears pulled back in anger. He felt like he couldn't think straight, his blood pressure pulsing in his ears.

For the rest of the day, the soldiers tiptoed on eggshells around Gorou. Thankfully, no more accidents happened, and although a bit strained, everything went on like normal.

"General Gorou? May I come in?" The soldier who had previously offended him, stood sheepishly at his quarter's door. Gorou unintentionally tensed up, but in his heart, was happy to see this soldier.

"Akashi, of course. Come in." He gestured towards a nearby empty chair, but the soldier only stepped inside the room and stayed at the doorframe, nervously hanging onto the seam of his uniform.

"I...I'm really sorry, General Gorou! I didn't mean to offend you. I take full responsibility for my words earlier. You... you don't deserve to be treated badly. I am... we are all so grateful to you - you always look out for us, take care of us, help us with our troubles... I'm truly sorry..." The soldier's eyes twinkled in the afternoon light with tears.

"Akashi..." Gorou was moved by the soldier's words. "No, you don't have to apologize. In fact, it's me who should apologize. I shouldn't have snapped at you. I'm sure you didn't mean bad... it's... just a joke, right?"

Akashi seemed hopeful and upbeat again. "Yes! Exactly! A joke! Aw shucks, I knew you'd understand, General! Thank you!" The tears were gone in an instant and the soldier carefreely hopped closer to Gorou. "Ah I'm so happy we're on good terms again! Do you wanna join us for some hunting? The guys and me were just about to go out!"

Gorou unintentionally winced at the thought. Just him, and a bunch of soldiers, away from everyone else. No-one would hear him if he tried to shout for help.

"U-uhh... I... I still have some paperwork to take care of!"

"Come now, that's not true! I know you finished the paperwork yesterday! C'mon, no need to be shy! It's just us, guys!"

Gorou gulped, realizing his only excuse was invalidated. "Uhh, this is ... a different piece of paperwork! I must take care of it by today! Too bad! I'll join you guys next time, okay?"

Akashi shrugged with a smile. "If you say so! Still, that's kind of weird... I hope it's really not because of what happened today? Anyways, we'll be going, feel free to join us if you change your mind!"

Gorou waved a hand to the soldier and let out a big sigh. This was not good. Nothing was good. At this rate, he'll never trust his soldiers again. Something needs to change, soon. Gorou hugged his tail closer to himself, finding some comfort in it, though his chest was still tight with anxiety. Images from the dreams kept finding him in the worst moments, each time so vivid and realistic, that even his body responded to it.

That night, Gorou went to bed without eating dinner. He told his soldiers he needed an early night because the next day he had a special mission early morning. While the soldiers accepted, he realized there's only so many lies one can tell before it comes back to bite them.