The Odd Combination of Fate and Humor

Notes:

The story might be a bit confusing at the moment but please bear with me, everything will be explained.

Disclaimer:

I do not own Harry Potter in any way; those rights belong to J.K Rowling. I can imagine however that many of us actually DO wish we could be her for at least a day, but I doubt we would be able to find all the right ingredients to be able to pull off a Polyjuice potion to achieve that. The plot and any extra characters are my own though.

Warnings:

This story WILL contain slash!

This means that this story will be purely male x male slash regarding the main characters. Please do not read if you find it offensive to read about two guys kissing…etc.

Everyone else… please enjoy

Key:

"speech"

"soft spoken or seemingly vague speech"

'thoughts'

- Parseltongue -

Chapter 2: Saved

Nagini felt pure anger rise within her as she finally caught up with the boy and his tormentors. She hadn't been planning on following him, but something about his words and reactions had troubled her when he had been speaking to his aunt. At first, she thought that he just didn't feel like fetching his cousin, but his body had reeked of fear when he'd made his way to the school.

Nagini had wanted to snort when he'd spoken of his fear that his family would hurt her. The thought of muggles even touching her, was ludicrous, but her wound had been created when a muggle had tried to behead her with one of his tools, yet she refused to admit the error in her judgment. The boy had helped her and she had been extremely grateful as the pain disappeared. She had just wanted to help him in return.

Now a great feeling of protectiveness overwhelmed her as she carried the boy to the apartment she shared with Tom. Something about the boy felt extremely familiar, but she couldn't figure out why she felt like she did. A part of him felt like Tom, but that couldn't be possible.

Nagini made it into their room without any trouble and laid the boy on the bed. Now that she was back at the apartment, she could contact her master. Nagini placed her head against the fire in the hearth and hissed. - Tom Marvolo Riddle get your asss over here right now. A boy sssaved my life and he isss heavily injured. I owe him a life debt and you will help me heal him. -

She was very relieved when the man stumbled out from the fire. But of course, she forgot that she shouldn't have been out of the apartment in the first place. - I thought I had told you to stay home Nagini. It isn't safe for you to wander the streets here! You could have been killed if anyone recognized you out there. - Tom sighed and shook his head at Nagini's willfulness before looking around. - Where is this boy and how did he save you? -

Nagini slithered to the bed. In hindsight, she should have rather placed him on the couch, since blood now marked the sheets, but she didn't care. A scourgify charm would clean it up in a second. - Here he isss. I ran into sssome trouble with a muggle asss I wasss returning home. I essscaped and I wasss looking for a way to contact you when I came upon thisss boy. At firssst he ran but he underssstood me when I ssspoke and thisss ssstopped him. He ssspeaks Parssseltongue, Tom, he ssspoke to me. He'sss going to be a very powerful wizard when he growsss up. He wasss able to heal my woundsss with wandlesss magic without the aid of any training. - Nagini could see that Tom was intrigued when she answered his question.

- And how, may I ask, was he injured this badly Nagini? Did something happen that made you bring him here instead of taking him to his parents? - Nagini nodded sadly.

- He told me hisss parentsss died when he wasss little. He wasss forced to live with hisss aunt and uncle, but from what I sssaw, they were both magic hating mugglesss. Hisss cousssin and hisss friendsss beat the boy up after he ssstumbled and dropped their bagsss, which he had been forced to carry like sssome common houssse elf. From the marksss I sssaw on hisss body, I am very certain that they abusssed him Tom, ssso can we keep him pleassse? -

Tom nodded. - Yes, we can keep him, but first I want to find out more about him. Let's get him cleaned up and healed. I am pretty sure Severus will be able to help us. - That said, Tom immediately went to make a fire call. Nagini followed closely on his heels.

"Severus Snape, Hogwarts." The flames flickered slightly before Nagini recognized the face of the potions master in the fire. "Hello Tom, is there anything I can do for you?"

"Yes Sev, are you busy at the moment? Nagini found an abused magical child and he needs medical treatment right away. Do you think you can come through?" The potions master immediately nodded with a grim expression on his face. Tom and Nagini both moved back and a second later Severus Snape stepped through the flames with a bag in his hands.

"It's currently study time at the school so I'm not busy. Where is the boy, Tom?" They briskly moved to the bed and even the usually stoic Professor was frozen in shock for a moment before he got to work. He cast a few spells and Nagini could practically feel the anger coming off him as the results began to show.

"This boy has an entire history of old wounds due to abuse. He's suffering from internal bleeding, his wrist is broken along with a few ribs and he has a concussion. I will have to place him in a magical coma while I repair the damage done to his body and he is going to need a few potions to help his malnourished body. Where did Nagini say she found the boy? I'm thinking of visiting his parents to make them sign over their rights to this child. It is quite clear that he is a wizard and as the headmaster of Hogwarts, it allows me to look after him instead."

Tom nodded but before he could even repeat the question to Nagini, Nagini answered him, pure anger clear in her voice. - He livesss at number 4 Privet Drive, Little Whinging, Sssurrey. It's clossse to here. He called his aunt Petunia and hisss cousssin Dudley. Hisss parents died when he wasss young ssso he wasss left with hisss aunt and uncle. He didn't even know that he wasss a wizard when I ssspoke to him. -Tom turned back to Severus and relayed the information to him.

As Tom finished giving the address, Severus' face suddenly became very white and he collapsed into a chair. "I don't believe it. It can't be." Both Nagini and Tom felt extremely confused at the shock on the Potions master's face, but before they could ask about it, Severus stood up and moved the hair away from the injured boy's forehead.

Silence filled the room and Tom sank onto the bed next to the boy when he recognized the mark. "Are you trying to tell me that this is the boy we have been looking for these past few years? If you knew he had another family, why didn't we check there first?"

Severus grimaced. "Because I didn't think Dumbledore would be stupid enough to place the boy where he would be abused. Clearly, I was overestimating his intelligence or his humanity at the very least. Lily and James both told me that they were going to make sure that Harry never fell into the hands of her sister and I am sure they stated this in their will. I thought it was strange that we didn't get called to the reading of their will, but didn't think much of it at the time. Now I have a sneaking suspicion that their will was never read."

Tom nodded. "Please heal him, Severus. Once he is well enough we will take him to Gringotts. Goblins hate being wrong more than they like having money and I imagine that Dumbledore must have made some kind of bargain with one of them. We could go without the boy, but I doubt they would tell us anything without proof. We will also have to ask the goblins to perform an evaluation ritual. Then we might find out what happened that night." He took a deep breath as if to hold back the flood of emotions before continuing. "Nagini said that he was able to speak Parseltongue. James was a descendant of the Slytherin line due to his connection to the Peverell line, but due to Godric and Salazar being the sires of their bloodline, they decided to create a line that was all exclusively Gryffindors where the other lines were exclusively Slytherins. I can't believe that we finally have another speaker after all these years."

Severus nodded walked closer to the boy and began to silently wave his wand in complicated movements. Neither Tom nor Nagini wanted to move from their spots and Severus soon tried to chase at least one of them from the room. "I know this is your house Tom, but there's nothing you can do for him here at the moment. Call the Malfoys and ask Narcissa to bring Sirius, Remus, and Peter here. She can go get some clothes and a few extra items the boy might need for when he wakes up. And tell them to keep it a secret for now. I know Bellatrix would also want to see him, but we both know that she will immediately murder those muggles before we even have a chance to find out for certain that the boy is Harry Potter. I would have asked you to call for Draco since the boy would probably appreciate a friend his age, but I think we all agree that we don't want the little dragon to see someone in such a state."

Tom nodded. "Thank you Severus." Nagini refused to leave the room, but she curled up on a sofa at the far end of the room to stay out of Severus' way. Neither Tom nor Severus had the heart to try and chase her out so they just let her be. Nagini knew that Tom was happy to be able to do something other than standing around and waiting for the boy to wake up and he apparated away after glancing back at Harry one last time.

Severus started to fervently cast spells on the boy and while the boy's body was healing, he made sure to heal the cuts and gashes on his skin. He also spelled a few potions into him since he would be unable to wake the boy to let him drink them by himself without causing him great amounts of pain. He knew that he probably should've contacted Poppy, but he wasn't sure if she could protect her mind from Dumbledore, who would probably go for the weakest link at Hogwarts first.

He knew Poppy was fierce enough to protect anyone in her charge, but to his dismay, she was simply awful at Occlumency. True, he had expected it, but the witch had shocked him when she promptly ordered him to tell her nothing of importance since she simply refused to be the one that put them all in danger.

Nagini barely fell off to sleep as a soft lull entered the room during the potion master's treatment when a loud crash echoed inside the house. She immediately raised herself into full attack mode, but the sight of the three Marauders made her sink back into the chair. The shocked anguish on their faces spoke volumes and they all tried to storm the bed at once.

Nagini automatically slithered forward to protect the child from harm, but Severus seemed to have expected their noisy intrusion. The three men ran straight into a barrier shield that the potions master had cast around the bed and the anger in his expression made the trio look down sheepishly after they landed in a tangled heap of limbs.

Severus waited a moment longer to get their full attention and his words sent a shiver down Nagini's spine, even though she wasn't the subject of his wrath at the moment. "I didn't ask Tom to call the three of you here so you could make a racket. I asked him to call you because I know the three of you each marked him as your cub when he was born. We are still trying to determine whether this boy is Harry Potter and this seemed to be the easiest way to do it until we can confirm it at Gringotts. If you don't immediately start to behave yourselves, I will ban you from this room."

Nagini snickered softly as the three men automatically fell silent. They knew better than to go against Severus when he was in guardian mode. The potions master looked through the group and everyone in the room could see that he was probably wondering whether he should chuck them out of the room anyway. But he calmed down and fixed a certain werewolf with a stare. "Remus, since you usually seem to be the most clear-headed in your group, would you kindly check if this is indeed the child we have been seeking?"

Remus nodded sheepishly as he stood up and brushed off his robes. He carefully walked forward, but when he found no other barriers, he made his way to the bed. It was clear that he could already scent the boy when they had stormed into the room and the way he moved confirmed their suspicions. "Severus, I can't believe this. It's Harry. What happened to him? Why does he look like he hadn't eaten in weeks?" Severus looked at the werewolf and Nagini could see that he fought to keep the emotion out of his eyes. The man was supposed to be legendary for his indifference, but his friends knew that it was just a mask.

"He was left in the care of Lily's muggle sister, by Dumbledore." Everyone knew the story of the relationship between Lily and her sister and the three men looked like they wanted to hex someone. Nagini knew they probably would hex Harry's old family into oblivion soon enough, but not before the entire group had a chance to use them for target practice to try out questionable spells. Nagini herself wouldn't mind a bite or two once they were sent to deal with the muggles, but Harry would be better off not knowing about it when they decided to visit them.

"Nagini mentioned that Harry didn't even know that he was a wizard, so I gather that his 'family' didn't give him his Hogwarts letter on his eleventh birthday. I have been able to persuade Tom to take the Dark Arts position at Hogwarts next year and I would like to extend the invitation to the three of you as well. Peter I would like you to take the Charms position at Hogwarts."

Peter looked like he wanted to argue, but Severus assured him. "I have already spoken to Professor Flitwick and he wishes to retire this year. He has, however, asked whether he could stay on Hogwarts grounds and as such you will be able to ask him when you need help during the school year. Remus, I would have liked you to take up the Defence Against the Dark Arts position, but I am pretty sure that Sirius would completely mess up Care of Magical Creatures, so I would like you to take that position instead. This means that Sirius would be left with the DADA position on the condition that he doesn't try to prank his students." This remark made Sirius grin sheepishly as if he had been planning to do exactly that.

Everyone looked excited at the prospect of being a teacher at, which was according to them, the best school in the entire wizarding world, but they were utterly confused as to why they were being offered these positions. Severus easily recognized the reason for their confusion and sighed while pinching the bridge of his nose with his hand as if he had a migraine.

"The reason I want you at Hogwarts is that I want you to keep an eye on Harry. We can't let Dumbledore find him or he will use the boy against us, as I imagine he had been trying to do when he hid Harry away. The open abuse also tells me that he probably wanted to make the boy a loyal slave after he seemingly 'saves' him from his family whenever he got around to it. I don't know when that would have been, but at least we have him now and we can protect him. Unless I am mistaken and he just wanted to punish the boy for something he didn't do. I am sure that all of you agree that we want to be able to give him the safety, freedom, and love that he didn't receive in that dreadful house."

Everyone in the room nodded in acceptance. "That being said, he will probably be extremely frightened when he wakes up and there is a chance that he would be scared of further abuse among a room full of strangers. I know that all of you care a lot about him and that includes me, but we will have to concentrate on moving slowly. None of us would ever think of hurting him, but he doesn't know this and it will take a while for him to get used to the idea. I found out from Tom that he is a Parseltongue, so please don't be too shocked when he displays the ability. It might take a while for him to wake up since he is in a magic-induced coma, but we should set some ground rules, at least until he knows the entire story. For now, I suggest we give him some space and one of us will…"

Severus' voice was cut off when a small scratchy voice interrupted him. "Thank you, sir, but I can already sense that you are good people. I see the friendly snake here, so I assume that you are the master she talked about? Or are you his friends?"

Severus didn't know how, but somehow the boy had broken out of the magic-induced coma all on his own and the men found themselves trapped in emerald green eyes as he moved them to glance between them. Nagini hissed happily and moved to curl up on the side of the bed and Harry hugged her before hissing back. Nagini curled up behind the boy to keep him still.

Even though the rest of the people in the room didn't understand Parseltongue, they easily interpreted the words based on the expressions between Harry and Nagini, and this relaxed them. The boy seemed to be able to think for himself and it secretly made them relieved. Dumbledore hadn't been able to mold and manipulate him.

Severus was the first to regain his voice. "Are you sure it's okay to be so trusting of us? I must admit I am glad that you can sense that we are not a threat to you, but how do you know this for sure? What is your name?"

Harry thought a bit before he answered. "I was named Harry Potter. My aunt once told me that when she was feeling too happy to regard my questions as irritations. I don't remember my parents, I suppose I was too young, but something about you and the other men, who look like they are posing as statues, seems very familiar to me. You said something about knowing my parents?"

Everyone in the room felt like they had the wind knocked out of them. They were expecting a scared little boy if his wounds were any indication of the life he had led, but instead, they were faced with a boy with a mind that seemed to have matured far beyond his years. It was clear that the boy was able to absorb and prioritize information around him and they realized that he probably took everything they did into account before he made up his mind on whether someone was a threat to him or not. It was hard not to see that Harry had endured a lot during his childhood and they didn't know whether to be relieved or angry that the situations had seemed to force the child to grow up. On the one hand, it would keep him out of Dumbledore's claws, but on the other hand, they mourned the fact that it deprived the boy of his childhood.

"Yes, we knew your parents. The three men, whom you assume to be acting like statues, were something like brothers to your father and I cared for your mother as if she was my sister. In a way she practically was. The black-haired man is called Sirius Black. Your parents asked for him and me to be your Godfathers. Remus Lupin is the man standing next to you. The other man is called Peter Pettigrew, who just happens to be a wiz with charms, but he once messed up a charm that made him look like something between a human and a rat in his second year and it took forever to find the counter-spell. Please use their names since they wouldn't want it any other way."

A groan filled the room as a blushing Peter stared daggers at the potions master. "That was the only time I messed up; can't you just let it go, Severus?" The man named Sirius grinned. "It might have only been the one time, but you made pretty sure that we would never forget it, Peter." Laughter filled the room and Harry was about to get angry, but then he realized that they were just teasing their friend, in a good way. The concept confused him, but he was relieved to see that Peter laughed with them. He looked at the man and found that he didn't look like a rat at all. He was tall and lithe with reddish hair and his face seemed so open to expression as if he wore his heart on his sleeve.

It calmed Harry a lot to know that he was around people who cared. This thought made him turn to the man Peter had called Severus. "What is your surname?" He wasn't quite sure if he should call the man 'sir' or by his name and this was the perfect chance to ask.

Severus didn't disappoint him. "My surname is Snape. You may call me Severus when we are away from Hogwarts, but you will address me as Professor or Headmaster when we are at school. We can't have the students thinking that I'm treating you differently."

Harry looked and felt completely confused at the words. "Since when am I going to school?" The rest of the people in the room tensely froze. They all knew that they would never force the boy to go until he recovered, but they never imagined that he probably didn't want to go to school.

Severus took a deep breath before explaining. "You need school to be able to advance in your magic. There are a lot of things in our world that wouldn't make sense if you didn't go to a school to learn them. I believe you have some experience with your magic?"

Harry grinned sheepishly. "I know I have to go to school and I want to go, but I didn't know that the option was open to me. Are you saying that this Hogwash school is a magic school? How many students study magic and how can they hide it from other people?"

Severus felt his anger rise but he kept it down. The muggle family would pay the price of neglect before the end of the week was over if it depended on him. "Yes you are going to a school for Wizards and Witches and it's called Hogwarts. There are special charms of concealment that can hide both people and objects and you will learn it at Hogwarts. Your mother and father were both brilliant in their trade and they studied there as well. Your father became an Auror, which is the magic equivalent of the muggle police, and your mother became a healer, which is signified as the magical equivalent of a muggle doctor."

It was clear that Harry was happy to hear about his parents, but something bothered him greatly. "What happened to my parents and why was I stuck at the Dursleys when it seems like I could have come to live with one of you? All of you sounded so happy to see me, but why didn't you come to visit me if you care?"

The people in the room held up a collective breath. No one knew how to explain what happened the night that lead up to the death of most of the Potter family. But they all knew that honesty was the best in a case like this so they all looked to Severus to explain.

The potions master just sighed and sat down on the bed before turning full to the boy. "What I am about to tell you, Harry, is only the stuff that I remember from that night. It might not make a lot of sense, but I will try to keep my explanations simple. Once you are well enough, we are going to take you to the goblins to see if they can extract the full memory of what happened that night, with your consent of course. We all want to know what happened that night, but we have been able to fill in most of the blanks between me and Tom. Tom isn't here right now, but he is the one who is considered to be Nagini's master, even though I must admit that she seems to rule him more than he could ever rule her." Despite the tense atmosphere, a few snickers sounded up around the room and Nagini gave her own good-natured hiss.

Thank you for reading this fanfic…