Disclaimer: First Chapter
Story Start!
"My god... no wonder you didn't react to him doing that..."
"He Meat Puppets people quite a lot when he threatens it, as seen here." Megumin stated as she and Kazuma stood to the side, with Aqua cowering behind them. Megumin had her weapon pointed to Naruto, ready to cast Explosion the second that he was finished with the enemies in front of him and turned his blood rage against them. "He enters Blood Rage, rips through monsters like butter, and then I blow him up... rinse and repeat." Megumin explained how quests worked with her and Naruto.
They had a good thing going.
Naruto, with his fist up a goblin ass, swung his covered fist and punched a hob goblin in the face, using the face of a goblin. Naruto punched the hob so hard, that his fist ripped a hole through the goblin that he was using, to the point that Naruto's fist came out the goblin's skull, and entered the skull of the hob goblin.
"Raaaaaage! Meat PUPPET!"
A goblin stabbed a sword into the back of Naruto's head so that it came out of his forehead.
"Dead man!" Naruto turned around and threw the dead goblin off of his arm, before he clapped both of his hands together on each side of the goblin's head. The goblin that stabbed him had his head crushed, his eyes flying, and his brains shooting out of the top of his now wide open head.
Kazuma saw that Megumin had her eyes squinted as much as possible so that she couldn't truly see what was happening at the moment.
"How... how did a giant frog quest... turn into this? A small scale war against goblins?" Kazuma asked as he turned around.
The sounds of ripping and tearing.
The top half of a goblin came flying into their line of sight anyway, with blood raining down on them from above.
"No... SAVE ME!" A goblin grabbed onto Kazuma's ankles.
Kazume froze when he felt the goblin get dragged back into the fight, before he felt blood splatter against his back. The urge to vomit was rising up in him, but he choked it down when he looked down and saw that Aqua was actually so pale that she might have died of shock, were it not for the fact that she was shaking like a lkeaf.
"No! Not the children!"
A corpse that had a DIFFERENT corpse lodged inside of it hit a nearby boulder with enough strength to splatter the fused corpses together. Kazuma turned when he saw Naruto out of the corner of his eye chasing down some escaping goblins, and Megumin squinted her eyes even more so that she could see things even less clearly.
"How many-"
Aqua stopped talking.
She watched Naruto rip a goblin's head off, shove it into another goblin's stomach that he ripped out, and then proceeded to use the intestines of the goblin to sling the heavy stomach around like a mace. Using his blood rage created mace, he proceeded to bash another goblin's kneecaps out and another one after that. Jumping through the air, Naruto shoved his feet through BOTH goblin's hearts.
"He's... wearing them like shoes... like bloody shoes... they scream as he runs." Aqua whispered as she was so horrified she could neither look away nor could she close her eyes. She watched as Naruto chased down the biggest remaining goblin that was there, with his new screaming shoes that quickly fell silent as sweet death took ahold of them. "Oh please no... please goblins... run away, don't bring support." Aqua watched as a new flood of goblins came to save the remaining lives that they could.
"Just tell me when there are no more goblins left." Megumin decided to completely close her eyes.
The screams were getting to be too much, and even with her eyes squinted she could still see Naruto painting his surroundings crimson.
One of Naruto's arms got cut off.
"Yes, we did it, we..."
The goblin stopped when Naruto reached up and grabbed the stump of his arm, and he ripped a new arm out of the flesh that replaced the old arm. The goblin that chopped his arm from raised his sword arm up.
His sword arm went flying when Naruto kicked his arm off.
With a kick, and with that kick the sword arm went flying and stabbed another goblin in the chest. Grabbing the goblin by the leg, Naruto then used it as a bludgeoning weapon to beat a hob goblin to death without saying anything that could be understood by humans.
Only raw blood screaming.
"Raaaaaaaaaaah!"
Naruto turned and looked towards Megumin, Kazuma, and Aqua.
"Oh shit."
"Oh shit?" Kazuma wasn't looking at what was happening, just that Aqua was standing up. She turned tail and started to run away from the direction that he wasn't facing. Kazuma turned around, and he saw Naruto running in this direction.
...
There were no goblins left.
"Darkness blacker than black, and... OH SHIT!? EXPLOSION!" Megumin launched off a massive explosion that engulfed Naruto's entire body as he ran towards them. She blew up the entire battlefield other than where they were standing. She didn't even have time to make up an incantation for her spell this time.
Megumin collapsed backwards.
"Wow, that was... OH SHIT!" Kazuma picked up Megumin off the ground when they noticed that Naruto was STILL running towards them.
He quickly caught up.
...
He passed them and went straight for Aqua.
"Kazuma! Kazuma, he's ignoring you guys and coming for me! Kazuma KAZUMA! Don't let him get to him, that look in his eyes is scary! Kazuma Kazuma Kazuma! He's getting closer and closer to me!"
"Get over here!"
"Kazuma, he's not in his Blood Rage anymore Kazuma! He's coming after me even though he isn't insane! I don't like that look in his eyes, he looks super angry, but not in the blood rage kind of way!"
"Oh good, he isn't blood raging anymore, my Explosion worked." Megumin sighed in relief when she relaxed on Kazuma's back. For a second, she thought that Naruto was continuing his blood rage even after her spell hit him.
Nope.
"Stupid Aqua, this was a frog slaying quest, get over here!"
"It's not my fault you have stupid bad luck!"
"Yes it is, get over here you blue haired screamer! I'm going to give you something to scream about!"
"He's just regular levels of angry with Aqua for some reason." Megumin stated when she saw Naruto catch up to Aqua. He grabbed her ankle and started to pick her up, before he slammed her into the ground over and over again.
[Aqua Screaming Noises]
"Just for reference... how many times has he... done that Meat Puppet thing?"
"3 times before Aqua, all times to people who screwed him over. At this point, everyone in the guild knows to turn the other way when he is about to do it to somebody... oooooh... is she going to be okay?" Megumin asked when Naruto started to smash her against the boulder.
The boulder broke.
"Aqua is super durable apparently, super high stats except for intelligence and luck, she's super strong and durable, but she is so stupid that whatever might be good about her is... bad." Kazuma took a grim satisfaction in what he was watching.
Naruto yeeted Aqua.
He yeeted her over the wall around the city, and into the city itself.
"I sent Aqua to the guild to collect our reward for us..." Naruto collapsed onto his face. "... by the way, nice explosion Meguminn... I really felt that one." Naruto sent her a thumbs up for her good explosion spell.
"Nice."
"Kazuma, grab my ankle and drag me back to the guild, I'm super sore right now, and I don't want to walk anymore."
Kazuma felt like crying.
His party couldn't get any worse.
Chapter End!
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