There was blood all over the sheets. I did not realize what was happening, but all I could feel was panic. My stomach was tying itself in knots trying to think of what to do. Apparently, someone outside my door heard my scream. It was the night guard. He knocked on the door.

"Is everything alright in there?" he asked, concerned.

"No, please send for the physician!" I cried as loud as I could.

A few minutes later, there was another knock on my door. Helen came in quickly and rushed to my side. When she saw the blood, she gasped and went to the guard at the door, asking him to send for Andromache as well. At this point, I was shaking and crying. I suddenly realized what had happened. I had been with child and too stupid to realize it. The baby was gone. I began sobbing uncontrollably. Helen came back to my side and took my hand. She knew.

Andromache came in a while later and automatically knew what had happened. She took my other hand. The physician finally arrived a few minutes after Andromache had. He concluded the same thing we already knew had happened and sent for a midwife to help clean me up. She arrived shortly thereafter and he explained the situation to her softly before he took his leave. The midwife came over and lifted my nightgown. I felt something expell from my body, which she wrapped in a bloody cloth. I could only assume that it was my baby. She placed the cloth aside and helped me up. They removed my clothing and bathed me while the servants changed the sheets of the bed. All the while I was drained so much that I could not cry any longer. When I was dry and redressed, Helen and Andromache helped me back into my bed. The midwife began to take the wrapped cloth away when I stopped her.

"What will happen to the baby?" I asked.

"It will be destroyed," she replied softly.

"Can I not have a funeral for it?" I asked. "Please."

The midwife looked at Helen and Andromache, who nodded at her. She left the wrapped bundle at the end of my bed and quietly took her leave. I thanked her softly before she left the room. After she left, Helen and Andromache helped me to my feet. Helen took the bundle and we went outside where we made a small pyre for it. It was over in a few minutes as I said my prayers silently that the gods would receive my child and we left the two coins for the boatman. Once it was finished, my sisters helped me back to my bed inside where I curled up with Achilles's pillow. They stayed with me all night until the sun had risen. Andromache went to notify a messenger to go find my husband to bring him back immediately. I stayed in bed all day. Leo and Jason were brought to me so I could be with my sons. While Jason nursed, Leo laid his head in my lap. It was comforting to have my sons with me. Around mid-day, both the boys went down for naps, so Helen took them back to the nursery so I could rest.

I laid down and tried to sleep, but could not because all I could think about was the child I had lost. I began to cry again. I felt someone wrap their arms around me and I looked to see Achilles laying beside me. I immediately turned over and moved into his embrace, burying my face into his shoulder to cry. He held me, stoking the back of my head gently. I sobbed until I could not cry any longer. I felt so empty when I finally stopped and was able to calm down a bit. Achilles just held me and I felt safe in his arms. When I was able to regain my composure and look at him in the eyes, I felt absolutely horrible.

"I have failed you," I whispered. "I was too wrapped up to realize that I was with child again." I lowered my eyes in shame.

"No, you have not failed me." He reassured me and put his finger under my chin, bringing my eyes to meet his again. "This was not your fault in any way. Sometimes horrible things happen to good people, not because they have done something wrong, but because it is a test to see if you can endure."

"But I lost our baby." Tears were rolling down my cheeks again. "I lost our baby."

"Shh..." he pulled me into his arms again, rocking me back and forth comfortingly.

He stayed with me in the room the rest of the day and all night, just holding me while I alternated between crying and sleeping from exhaustion. Several times throughout the day, the nurses brought Jason to me so that he could nurse. I watched my baby boy in my arms with such love. Losing one child that I would never know was difficult enough, but to even think of losing Leo or Jason would hurt so much more. When Jason wasn't nursing, he and Leo were being taken care of by Helen and Andromache. As much as I missed my sons, I needed time to recover. The next morning, I was able to get up and move around the room. Achilles stayed with me, helping me to bathe and making sure I was resting enough. Mostly, I just wanted him there so I could be held. He would kiss my forehead lightly. Around dark, I broke the silence once again. I was sitting on the bed, resting against his shoulder with his arms wrapped around me.

"We had a funeral for the baby," I started, pausing for a moment. "Helen and Andromache were the only ones there."

"You did?"

I nodded. "I wanted to say goodbye."

Achilles remained silent for several moments before speaking again. "Briseis, I am sorry that I was not here and that you had to endure that alone."

I shook my head. "There is nothing to be sorry for. Neither of us knew that I was with child again, so there is no blame for you not being here. I am happy you are here now because I need you for this part of it. I've never experienced loss like this and I don't know how to grieve over a child we will never know."

"There is a time for grieving and once it is over, we have to move on. Not only for our sakes, but for our sons," he replied gently. "They need us; they need their mother."

"I understand. But how will I know when my time of grieving is over?" I asked.

"It is different for everyone. You must take time for you and make peace with what has happened."

"Do you think it wise to stay here or to go home?"

"I think that you are not strong enough to travel, so we will stay here until you have recovered."

I nodded in agreement. Soon after, I fell asleep again from exhaustion. My womb was empty and my heart was broken, but I knew that over time it would heal. Perhaps in the future, Achilles and I would have the little girl I had dreamed about and so desperately wanted. For now, I had to just take care of myself so that I could properly care for my husband and sons again. I knew they missed me and did not understand why their mother could not see them all the time like she had before. I would recover from this tragedy, for them.

In the weeks that followed losing my baby, my strength returned quickly and I was able to get up and walk around the palace again without Achilles having to hold me every step of the way. I began to care for my sons regularly again without the help of the nurses or my sisters. Leo was ecstatic to have me back again. He placed kisses all over my cheeks and it made me smile. At two-years-old, he was very affectionate and loving. I looked at my sons, the two blessings I already had and felt very thankful to have them. But, in the back of my heart, I still felt a pang for the child I would never know. To the rest of my family, I seemed to be recovering emotionally, but to Achilles-he knew otherwise. He still held me at night when I would begin to cry again. I loved him dearly for this.

When I was strong enough to travel again, several weeks after losing the child, we made preparations to go home to Phtia. I was ready to be in the comfort of my own home where Achilles and I could be alone with our sons again. Though I loved my family in Troy dearly, I had grown to love my alone time with my husband and sons. Once everything was prepared, we said our goodbyes once again. This time was not as hard as the first time though for I knew I would see them all again. Paris and Hector hugged me gently and clasped hands with Achilles, as brothers. I handed Jason to Achilles so that I could say goodbye to Helen and Andromache. I walked over to them and pulled them close, hugging them.

"Thank you," I whispered, "for all that you have done for me over these last few weeks. I would not have survived without you being there."

"We were doing what sisters do," Helen said.

"Promise us that you will write if you need anything at all," Andromache insisted.

"I promise," I replied.

I let go of Andromache and Helen and started towards the ramp to the ship. I took Jason from Achilles's arms and he picked up Leo. We went up the ramp onto the ship. The anchors were raised and we started to sail away. I stayed at the railing until Troy was no longer in view. Achilles stayed at my side. When Troy was no longer in view, we went below deck with our sons. Leo found all of his toys and scattered them on the floor, quickly entertaining himself. I layed Jason in a make-shift cradle and kissed his forehead. He went down for his nap without a fuss, which I was grateful for. Once my sons were taken care of, I sat down on the bed and began to relax. I watched Leo playing with his toys on the floor as Achilles played with him, making sound effects for the animals. A smile escaped and spread across my lips. I loved my family. Achilles saw me smile and came over to the bed. He sat down next to me and kissed my forehead.

"There's something I have not seen in a while."

"I saw my family that I have now and realized that I am fortunate to have you and two healthy sons."

He took my hands. "Briseis, I do no pretend to know what you have been through the last few weeks, but I do know that no matter what happens now, I am thankful to have you and our sons."

I had not realized the toll that losing our child had taken on my husband until this moment. He felt the loss just as I did. And he was right, no matter what happened now, we were thankful to have each other and our sons. We were going home now. Going home to raise our sons and to just spend time with one another.