Full Summary:
"For the love of Mondstadt, shut up, you fiery ball of angst!" Venti slams his body onto Diluc, shutting him up mid sentence, pushing them off-balance, crashing to the floor behind the counter. "And, don't you dare continue that train of thought! Unless you want a meteorite to flatten Angel's Share—no, Mondstadt City—and regret the destruction you've brought."
OR, Venti comes back from his very long trip from Liyue to settle the debt he owed Master Diluc. One suggestion from Kaeya later, and Venti becomes the resident barmaid of Angel's Share during the Windblume Festival.
Also features: Nosy, well-meaning 'family members', some barmaid!Venti shenanigans, Xiao and Venti figuring things out, and a good dose of humor.
Originally meant to be Omake 4 in Ch4 of the parent story (1 yr later)
Should tie the loose ends of Footnote 16.
It can be read as a stand alone, with Rightly Placed Assumptions (tm) from the following ideas: 1)Venti stole some wine as gifts for a 'deceased' friend, 2) Venti meets Xiao again, fulfilling said friend's request
(Rating up due to small, citrusy deets on ch2 ? XD)
A/N:
Hello there!
As you can see from the summary... This is actually part of a series.
The series starts with the Parent Story: 'Ruin Guards are so Hard to Photograph!" At the moment, this is the last published piece that is still ongoing (as of this typing this A/N). The stories that are in this series chronologically goes as follows:
Ruin Guards are so Hard to Photograph! THEN Venti Incognito THEN Confirmations THEN Of Exclamations, Alabaster, Small Lampgrass, Small Lanterns, and Street Lamps
For more information, you may visit Ch 5 (the Q and A that No One Asked For section) of Ruin Guards are so Hard to Photograph!
And, dear Ossifragus, if you're seeing this, rather than an extra, we have this. Hahaha
(I'm not sure if you're receiving my review replies, but this is the fic I was talking about. I hope you enjoy.)
Original A/N:
Hello~
The footnotes lady just isn't done with this setting yet. ^^;
To those who have never read any of my other works, welcome!
The events of this fic happens waaaay into the future of the setting of the parent fic, so I think it can stand on its own with the aid of some Rightly Placed Assumptions (tm).
Footnotes are a thing here~ If you see a number enclosed with brackets like this: [1], please type the number on the find in page function of your browser to and click the down button the on it to get to the footnote, and then click the up button to get back to where you left off. These are originally linked footnotes when they were posted in AO3. Sadly the codes do not work here... This is the only work around I could manage for now.
As always, I want to thank my friend for editing this with me despite her busy schedule~ She also said I was able to make the crack sound reasonable, so interpret that as you wish. /shrugs/
"What is troubling you, Elzer?"
Elzer blinks and looks toward the direction of the voice. He puts down the document he was parsing through to greet the master.
"Oh, Master Diluc, good evening." He stands from his seat and bows in respect to the manor's owner. "My sincerest apologies. I was not able to sense your arrival."
"Raise your head, that is of little importance." The Pyro vision holder eyes the documents on his subordinate's desk, and takes the document on the top of the pile. "Are the Winery's finances troubling you?"
The white haired man does as he is told and clears his throat, arranging his thoughts. He couldn't make heads or tails of the situation, but he will attempt to explain the best he could.
"Yes… in a manner of speaking, Master Diluc," Elzer begins, noting that his master's eyebrow has raised. "It is not about the sales, per se. Angel's Share and the other taverns under the Winery are doing splendidly, and the demand from markets outside of Mondstadt is steadily rising."
He takes the master's silence as permission to continue. There is a question behind those fiery red eyes.
"If you would turn your attention to the last few lines of the tabulation of the income statement…" Elzer trails off as he points to a specific line. He watches as Master Diluc's eyes widen. The number was a seven-digit figure. "It seems that an anonymous source has transferred an astronomical amount of Mora to Dawn Winery's account. It has been listed as 'remunerations'."
"Have you dug deeper into this?" Master Diluc asks, severely.
Elzer could already guess the manic thoughts swirling in his master's mind.
'Did a rat manage to infiltrate the Winery? Was there a scheme in the works? Did they discover it in time, or was it too late?'
"Yes, we have. The transfer came from Northland Bank in Liyue."
"The Fatui!" Master Diluc growls, already crumpling the piece of parchment in his hands. He is close to lighting it on fire. "What are those Fatui scumbags up to this time? They should already be aware that they can't get more men from Mondstadt."
Elzer gives him a curt nod. He is unsure whether to give a strained smile or maintain the straight face he had on. The truth was rather anticlimactic, but he believes it still holds quite a punch. He chooses to retain his stoic expression.
"The new intel that came in this morning says that the deposited money is to be used as 'remuneration for the Bard Venti's excessive drinking habits'."
The anger and tension in the room completely dissipated. Confusion and awkwardness quickly took its place.
Everyone knew that Venti the Bard had no Mora to his name—opting to charge for his performances with alcohol or some fruit. Had the bard gone off to Liyue to find… a willing sponsor?
Master Diluc blinks at Elzer owlishly before uncrumpling the bank statement.
"The informant also notes that when all of the bard's damages have been accounted for, there should be enough leftover for two more glasses of Dandelion Wine for the time he comes over for a drink."
Whoever this sponsor is, he seems to be the indulgent type, or the type to be easily wrapped around someone's little finger. The bard can be very convincing, even when he doesn't put in the effort.
Master Diluc replaced the crumpled document onto the table as he pinched the bridge of his nose. An exasperated sigh escapes him.
That bard hasn't been around for quite a while now. He has been spotted within the city from time to time, but never for too long. It feels like some sort of miracle that he hasn't visited any establishments serving alcohol during those short visits. There hadn't been an order to capture him within Mondstadt city walls, as it could look very conspicuous; if he only visited Dawn Winery during those short trips...
"It is true that the good-for-nothing freeloader had made quite a dip in our alcohol supplies. I simply had not accounted for the accumulated damages to have soared these heights." There is exhaustion in Master Diluc's tone. "Have the amount verified, and if you can, send the amount back to where it came from."
"It will be done by tomorrow evening." Elzer bows as Master Diluc starts making his way out of the office.
"Good, we have no need for filthy Fatui money."
"Of course."
"I will be retiring for the night. Tell Adelinde to have the others retire as well."
"I shall." Elzer keeps his head bowed until he hears footsteps going up the stairs. "May you have a pleasant evening."
The following morning, a bottle of Dandelion Wine was found to be missing from the kitchen cupboard. Adelinde finds it in Master Diluc's bedroom when she comes to wake him up.
Elzer concludes that the news may have been too much for the master that he drove to drinking, just so he could forget about it immediately. [1]
—○ ● ○ ◇◇◇ ○ ● ○ —
Zhongli turns to the Snezhnayan with an incredulous look on his face. The dishes are forgotten temporarily as he rinses his hands clean, and dries them using his apron.
"Venti has not left Liyue yet?"
"Hm, I would see him perform in some of the bars a handful of our bank clients frequent," Childe says offhandedly as he stabs a sesame seed ball with a chopstick and brings it to his mouth, earning him a withering look from his fiancé. He wasn't completely sure if the look was one hundred percent directed at him. "And I swear, he's deliberately hurting me with his song choices [2] when he spots me in the audience."
Zhongli quirks an eyebrow as he sits on the chair beside Childe's on the dining table.
"Ah, forget that bit. That's not important," the ginger haired man mumbles as he attempts to take a bite of his impaled treat, yet fails as it falls from the chopstick's tip onto the table.
Catching on quickly, Zhingli berates him for his table manners instead.
"I'm sure you are aware that it is permissible for this delicacy to be enjoyed with one's hands." Zhongli takes a hold of the sorry-looking sesame seed ball and brings it over to Childe's mouth. "This isn't the first time you have eaten one."
"I didn't want my hands to get dirty," the younger man replies before opening his mouth wider, getting the whole ball, including the older man's fingers, into his mouth.
In petty revenge, the older man doesn't let go of the ball until he feels Childe's tongue pry it off his grasp. He watches the rascal chew his homemade treat dutifully, taking note of those half-lidded eyes watching him to make his next move. He looks at his index finger and thumb, and notices a few sesame seeds have clung onto them. He licks them off, knowing fully well that his audience's full attention was on him.
"We should take care not to waste food," Zhongli says as if he were stating a fact.
Childe chuckles.
"I see xiansheng is intent on proving me wrong at every turn." Childe leans in to peck at the corner of Zhongli's mouth. He meets a hand on his face instead.
"Yes, if you're intent on stabbing at your food. Use the proper utensils next time. There is a toothpick dispenser right in front of you," he older man scolds lightly, taking in the adorable pout on Childe's features when he seats himself back. A smile tugs on his lips, and a huff of amusement follows after hearing a disheartened 'killjoy' from the other. "So Venti still performs in various restaurants and bars?"
Childe sulkily looks at the older man, debating whether to answer or not. But sadly, seeing the amusement on the older man's face was enough to admit defeat.
"You know how I hate how you steer the conversation away from something fun, Zhongli," the younger man whines. "But fine, we'll have it your way for now."
Childe sighs, but quickly perks up when the older man leans in for a quick peck on his cheek. He smiles.
"While the reparations for the roof [3] had been settled a long time ago, he did say that he wanted to earn enough for the wine he stole."
"It has been almost a year since then, if I recall correctly." The former Geo Archon's brows furrow. "While I appreciate his resolve in paying his debts, to leave his domain for so long… Irresponsible as always, I may need to seek him out and put in a word or two."
"Hey, hey, relax." Childe takes Zhongli's hand into his, rubbing soothing circles onto them. "While your parenting styles are different, you don't need to chew him out for it."
Zhongli snorts at the term.
"That… is a charming way to put it, 'parenting styles'."
"Mondstadt turned out okay even with his 'hands-off' approach, right?" Childe drinks in the rich notes of the laughter he coaxed out the older man. He could listen to it all day. "Besides, he does go back for a full day on a semi-regular basis, according to the reports I've been receiving."
"You're monitoring his actions?" Zhongli's laughter stops.
"Well, yes." Childe scratches his cheek uselessly with his other hand, looking away. "On paper, it's to err on the side of caution, but underneath that… Well, a big brother needs to look out for his younger brother. Can't have him get into too much trouble, right?"
He turns back at the brunette and relaxes when he sees a fond smile in place of that serious one he shied away from.
"I see you're still trying to get him to call you 'big brother'." Zhongli purses his lips in attempt to contain his chuckles
"Well, I can dream, you know." Childe grins. "I think I have some mileage on that because I'm such a good big brother that paid off the ludicrous amount he owes Dawn Winery and its subsidiaries."
"You're spoiling him," Zhongli says sternly, but the fond smile he wore betrays his attempt to scold his beloved rascal. He's glad to hear how Childe is sincerely looking out for his friend, to the extent of considering the free-spirited bard family. "He has to learn that every action has a consequence."
"I think he already knows that lesson all too well," Childe mumbles uncharacteristically.
There are times the ginger haired man would see an expression on the bard's face that reminds him of his own father—a forced smile on his lips, eyes starting to glisten with the beginning of a build up of unshed tears, and a quiet sigh escaping when he thinks Ajax turned away. It's a crestfallen look that asks: 'Where did I go wrong?'
Zhongli's hold on his hand tightens, bringing him back to the present. Childe flashes him a smile and squeezes back. He hopes the smile he has on doesn't look pained.
"Going back, I'm surprised you didn't know Venti's still staying here in Liyue."
"He hasn't shown his face here for a few months now. It would be natural to assume that the wind has taken him back to his beloved Mondstadt."
"No… Xiansheng, don't tell me you're this blind?" Childe gasps in mockery as he props his chin on his free hand on the table. "There is another reason he's staying."
"I do admit I have been told to be prone to miss out on certain cues." Zhongli cups his chin in thought before looking at those twinkling eyes, bright with excitement at the prospect of sharing juicy gossip. "Please do enlighten me of your observations."
"You see, most of the reports I've received on Venti had him frequenting Guili Plains and Wangshu Inn when he's not in the Harbor." Childe chooses to throw in a bone without looking or sounding exasperated, admirably so, by this supposedly wise 6000-year old relic of the past. His lips curl up. "I'm pretty sure we're familiar with the person who's usually found in those places."
"Is it the young Adeptus Xiao?"
"Ding! Ding! Ding! And, we have a winner!" Childe moves to bring his xiansheng's hand to his lips, planting a long kiss on it. "Xiansheng is so smart."
A faint flush spreads on Zhongli's face. He looks away from the rascal's bright Glaze Lily eyes, as he feels the joints of his hand get peppered with butterfly kisses.
"You're patronizing me, Childe."
"I did no such thing," the rascal quickly replies as he places down the older man's hand back onto the table. He leans forward to get close to the older man's ear. "I'm complimenting you, in hopes you'd be generous enough to reward me for being a good, perceptive big brother to your little bard friend?"
Zhongli puts on a contemplative look, making the younger man put out. Was he really going to seriously ponder on this?
"Let me mull it over as I finish the dishes." Zhongli stands up when Childe sits back to give him some space as the younger man groans.
The older man enjoys the whining he receives when he turns his back on the rascal, as he prioritized the dishes. This is one of those times he is glad to be able to school his features into a stoic one. It is enjoyable to mess with Childe from time to time.
The Fatui Harbinger, on the other hand, is letting his leg jitter in impatience. He is intent on not letting the fact that the remuneration he sent was returned in full slip just yet, not until he milks some kind of reward from the consultant. He deserved some consolation for all the effort [4] he put in for this, right?
—○ ● ○ ◇◇◇ ○ ● ○ —
The Cavalry Captain of Ordo Favonius takes a seat by the bar, his chin propped up while the fingertips of his left hand tap against the wooden counter. His lips quirk into a smirk when he sees the glare Diluc shoots at him as the other is polishing the wine glasses.
"One Death After Noon, if you please."
As if he were an expected guest of the night, a readied glass is set before him. Kaeya sighs when he picks it up to inspect it.
It was Grape Juice, as expected.
"You should know better than to discriminate amongst your customers, Diluc." He gently places the glass down and slides it back to its sender, who is apparently busy creating his real order.
"And you should know better than to report to work drunk. You are in charge of leading the night watch tonight, correct?" The redhead scolds harshly, and grumbles his usual complaints. "The Knights are truly an incompetent bunch."
"One glass wouldn't hurt now, would it?" The Captain shrugs nonchalantly and sets his twinkling eye onto fiery red ones. "I came because I miss our usual banter, but my, my, my. What do we have here? It seems that someone's been keeping tabs on me."
Diluc says nothing, preferring to turn away to put on the final touches for the Death After Noon. There definitely wasn't a touch of pink on his cheeks. If there was, it was from the wine tasting from this afternoon; its effects haven't worn off just yet.
"No response, huh?" Kaeya decides to lean closer to the counter. "How about this? What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to attend a ball held by a Fontaine diplomat tonight? Neglecting our diplomatic duties, aren't we, Master Diluc?"
"Keep your nose out of my business. Don't let me repeat myself, or I will escort you to the door right this instant." Diluc leans toward the Cavalry Captain with a dagger-like gaze before serving the man in front of him the drink.
"Oooh, how scary." Kaeya chuckles lightly as he brings the offered drink to his lips, not daring to break eye contact. Mmm, simply delectable. There's always something different when Diluc fixes this drink for him. "Relax, your Bro Kaeya is just looking out for you." [5]
"I don't need you to." Diluc steps back and goes back to wiping the wine glasses with his back facing the Cavalry Captain. "I simply prefer a slow night in the tavern rather than be ogled at like wares in an aristocratic matchmaking auction."
Kaeya stifles a chuckle. If the Wine Master can still crack jokes, then he probably is fine for now, at least.
His attention is drawn to the door of the tavern when it swings open, its little bell chiming.
"Good to see you well too, Patton!" The familiar sight of a bard clad in green walking in with a skip in his step greets him.
"Master Diluc, Captain Kaeya, long time, no see! Did you miss little ol me? Hehe." Venti turns his attention to the bar and flashes the men he greeted with that bright grin. "Two servings of Dandelion Wine, if you please!"
"It has been a while, Venti. Heard from the grapevine you went for a little vacation. How was your trip?" Kaeya asks as he watches the bard come closer and take the seat next to his. He notices the troubled expression on Diluc's features and chooses not to comment on it just yet. He takes a sip of his drink. "I say 'little', but you've been gone for almost a year. If I didn't know better, I'd say you've gone off to find someone new and settle there for good."
The Captain adds, chuckling with a shrug. But it stops abruptly when he sees the slightest tinge of pink spreading on the bard's features.
Huh?
"What are you talking about? Surely, you jest," Venti says with a tight laugh. "There was nothing much to it—just visiting a friend and sightseeing a little too much, at best."
The bard must've caught onto the Wine Master's sour expression, and takes the opportunity to change the topic.
"Aw, don't give me that look! I can properly pay you for the two glasses of Dandelion Wine I ordered just now!" The bard proudly shows off his Mora bag, which was admittedly, fuller than Kaeya and Diluc had expected. "And I came here to make good on that promise for the vintages you loaned me."
"You mean, 'vintages that you stole'," Diluc corrects as he offers the first serving of chilled Dandelion Wine to the practically salivating bard. He pinches the bridge of his nose; something wasn't adding up. "And as much as it pains me to say that the matter has been taken care of, and that the glasses you just ordered are considered paid, I need to apologize because they aren't. We don't transact with the Fatui here."
Both men at the counter froze. Kaeya, in the middle of finishing his drink, and Venti, upon snatching up his.
What?
That part of the tavern's air stilled. The other patrons seem to have not caught wind of the conversation at the bar. The sounds of glasses clinking and loud chatter could still be heard from the main serving hall. Diluc's and Kaeya's eyes were on Venti, and Venti's were on Diluc.
"I'm afraid, I don't quite follow," Venti starts, confusion dripping in each word. He straightens his posture as he delivers his case. "I believe I just said that I came to pay for what I owe. I'm not sure how the Fatui came into play here."
"Come now, Diluc, how could our bard here fraternize with the enemy?" Kaeya puts down his glass and wraps an arm around the bard, a friendly gesture. "When we know how well their encounter went."
Ah yes, the Gnosis incident with Signora. Kaeya caught sight of Venti biting his lip. The memory must've been quite dreadful. [6]
Instead of listening to the two, Diluc continues.
"While I am delighted to hear that you are taking your debt seriously, I am shocked you would go to such lengths to pay me back." The redhead shakes his head. "To think that you would go to Liyue and bed a Fat—"
Kaeya blinked and completely missed how Venti got out of his hold and was half-kneeling on the counter with his hand firmly set on Diluc's mouth.
"Not another word, Wine Master. Not. Another. Word."
The words came out, barely above a whisper, yet both Diluc and Kaeya heard them loud and clear, stunning them for a few seconds. Venti removes his hand from the other's mouth when he thinks it is safe.
But Diluc does not back down so easily.
"How could you explain the ridiculous amount transferred to Dawn Winery's account from Liyue's Northland Bank? It was intended to pay for your debts. Did you not seek out the affections of a Har—"
"For the love of Mondstadt, shut up, you fiery ball of angst!" Venti slams his body onto the taller man, shutting him up mid sentence, pushing them off-balance, crashing to the floor behind the counter. "And, don't you dare continue that train of thought! Unless you want a meteorite to flatten Angel's Share—no, Mondstadt City—and regret the destruction you've brought."
Now, that outburst catches everyone's attention. The chatter paused; the glasses sat on their respective tables and even the sound of cutlery interacting with plates had vanished.
Kaeya laughs.
"Hey, Diluc… Pffft, there's the—pfft— opportunity you've been waiting for." [7]
Diluc rolls his eyes and would've loved to have escorted the imbecile out of the tavern if he didn't have another headache to deal with at the moment. Squinted aqua eyes watch him intently.
Venti and Diluc glare at each other for a good half minute before the bard scrambles off the Pyro Vision holder.
Kaeya, having finally recovered his composure, and some busybodies that came over to see what's the commotion about watch as the two behind the bar counter stand and dust themselves off.
"I'll explain later," Venti whispers sulkily, eyeing both Diluc and Kaeya first before switching his tone into a more teasing, light-hearted one for the crowd before them. "In other words, I am willing to offer my services to pay off my debt. I proposed a month or two, but hmmm, I'll still comply even if there's more work for me to do."
Diluc studies the bard as he utters a contemplative sound. While it was a show for the crowd, the younger-looking man did sound sincere. With a nod, he offers what he thinks is a fair work load.
"Everyday for half a year, you will perform here in Angel's Share as a bard. Then, after your performances have ended, you will join the wait staff in managing the floor. Does that sound agreeable?"
Venti ponders on the work conditions for a bit. Joining the wait staff doesn't sound too bad, if it meant a reduction in the amount of time needed to pay off everything. Though, half a year doesn't sound ideal. He promised Xiao he'd be back in two months, tops. The bard doesn't want to break that promise.
"Isn't half a year too much for two bottles of vintage Dandelion Wine?" The bard throws in his puppy dog eyes, hoping it would help with the negotiation.
"I'm already accounting for all of the alcohol and crops you've pilfered thus far." The Wine Master clicks his tongue. The bard dares to haggle when his debt has already reached millions?
"May I suggest something?" the Cavalry Captain pipes up, his voice silky smooth despite his visible amusement..
Diluc throws Kaeya a withering look. "Your suggestion is vetoed."
"Now, now, it could benefit the two of you." Kaeya leans onto the counter top, waggling a finger as he smirks. "There's no harm in listening to a proposal first. You can always veto it afterwards."
"I say we let the Cavalry Captain speak," Venti agrees since he does want more options to choose from. Half a year is too much… "Who knows? He might have the compromise we seek."
The crowd starts chanting: "Let him speak! Let him speak!" over and over, to the point where Diluc begrudgingly admits defeat through gritted teeth.
"Fine, have it your way," the redhead concedes as he ignores the annoyance bubbling inside. He had learned to listen to his instincts when it came to Kaeya's babble. Maybe the bard had to experience it firsthand in order to learn he should always say "no" to Kaeya. "Don't say I didn't warn you."
"I'm glad you can be talked into reason," Kaeya aims at Diluc, smirking at the scowl he gets back,before he turns to the crowd. "Our little bard friend here accepts his job as part of Angel Share's wait staff. Now, may I take your suggestions on how our friend here can improve your dining experience?"
Venti's mouth hung unflatteringly agape. Did this man just ask a bunch of drunkards what they want to see him do? He's just glad that a good number of them were too drunk to do more than follow mob psychology, just waiting for the next cheering session. The bard belatedly realizes that isn't truly safe if there was at least one person with some hare-brained idea that was vocal enough to announce it.
"How about—hic—we get him into something—hic—pleasing to the eye?" One of the drunkards raised his voice, along with his wooden mug, and took a swig. "He looks—hic—mighty fine already; I bet he'd look cute in aaaanyyything!"
Oh, that. That got the crowd going. The men started animatedly talking amongst themselves about possible costumes they could get the bard into. Bunny girl outfits, healer outfits [8], nun outfits, lolita dresses, and other outfit suggestions were thrown into the heat of the discussion.
Diluc simply crosses his arms and watches Venti drape himself into a seat at the counter and Kaeya smirking as he chuckles.
"Now with Venti providing some extra services with part of his dignity on the line, wouldn't you think it's fair to lessen his contracted working period?" the Captain asks while the crowd of degenerates haven't reached a consensus yet.
Venti is actually up for dressing up; shame was something he could swallow if it was truly necessary. [9] It would be like acting out a tale he'd spun. He just isn't sure if he is flattered or heavily concerned with how eager these people are to see him crossdress.
The crowd falls silent as they push their chosen speaker to the center. Said spokesperson cleared his throat.
"We, the loyal customers of Angel's Share, have decided that we would like to see the new member of the wait staff wear a barmaid outfit—the Dirndl would do wonders to bring out that modest, innocent charm he possesses while invigorating those who lay eyes on him."
Venti sits up and looks at them with his eye twitching. He isn't sure what is more concerning: the fact that they wanted a total stranger to crossdress—seeing as they don't remember the face of the three-time winner of the title 'Most Popular Bard of Mondstadt', or the fact they really put in the effort to find the perfect costume for him, commentary and all.
Eh, it shouldn't matter. If it's his ticket to getting out faster, then why not?
"So, Master Diluc, what do you say?" Venti turns to the silently brooding tavern owner, a light cheer present in his tone. "I'm down for it if it could spare me even a day~"
Diluc sighs as he relents. There is no talking sense to a bunch of drunks and a bard who is eager to latch onto every opportunity to find the easy way out. "Very well, I'm amenable to adjusting the time table for which you will need to render your services. But it is highly dependent on your work performance. Work starts tomorrow."
Venti and the crowd cheers in victory. Yes, through their solidarity, their hard work, their perseverance, they have achieved a result that is no doubt for the greater good of everyone—or so how the drunkards will remember this joyous and momentous event.
With the patrons appeased, they went back to their respective seats. The sounds of revelry resumed right afterwards.
Diluc takes his place behind the counter. Kaeya and Venti take their respective ones in front of the bar counter. The bard eyes his drink suspiciously, knowing it had warmed up considerably.
But then again, Dandelion Wine is Dandelion Wine. He shrugs and chugs it down in one swig. He lets out an appreciative sound as he leans back and wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. It still hit the spot.
"Now talk," Diluc says after the bard places his glass back onto the table. The Wine Master was quick to refill the glass.
Venti could feel the intensity of Kaeya's and Diluc's gaze on him. He chooses to down the perfectly chilled beverage before summoning his trusty Der Frühling. There is no way he is going to let that drink warm too much like the previous one.
"Now, where do I begin?"
•○●○• ◇ •○●○•
At the end of his song, Venti looks at his audience, and bursts into laughter.
Diluc has his head buried in his hands. Kaeya looks as if he were nursing a hangover despite having only one drink. It wasn't even purely alcoholic since sparkling wine is added into the mix.
They thought Lord Barbatos was a mess, but this… was a whole new level of what-the-fuckery, and they didn't know how to deal with that at the moment. When it comes right down to it, it was all an elaborate retirement scheme that ended up in some Inazuman young girls' demographic whirlwind romance story.
Are all Archons like this?
"But hey, aren't you glad you're just hearing the story? Instead of, well, playing a part in it, in all its glory?" the bard giggles and turns to Diluc. "The remuneration fees are probably from Whipped Mora Bag. I swear, I didn't know he went off to brag."
Diluc raises his head to look at him, clearly unamused. "'Whipped Mora Bag?' Also, about that meteorite you mentioned…"
"Ah yes, yes. Whipped Mora Bag is that Fatui nutjob I was talking about. The one who Mo—Rex Lapis—well, he goes by the name of 'Zhongli' now, is head-over-heels in love with," Venti goes on as he fiddles with Der Frühling, tuning her back into tip-top shape. "So if you're accusing me of bedding someone, the Harbinger is off the list unless you want to face the Wrath of the Rock."
Kaeya snickers, remembering how Diluc once proclaimed he did want just that. He stops when he feels, rather than sees, the glare shot toward him.
"Er, maybe leave Mondstadt out of it, if that's your thing." Venti raises his hands, leaving the lyre on his lap. "I'm not one to judge."
Diluc clicks his tongue and glares even harder at the pirate-wannabe, who was busy stifling his laughter.
"How'd you even come up with that conclusion, anyway?" Venti asks incredulously as he goes back to tuning his lyre.
Diluc simply points at his own neck. Venti taps around his and comes upon a tender spot. It was only partially hidden under his outfit's collar.
"Heh, so he did bed someone," Kaeya mused out loud. "So~ care to share with us this mysterious lover boy who managed to snag a former Archon?"
Venti's cheeks reddens considerably. His hand slips down and it's his turn to bury his face into his hands. He was delighted when Xiao had displayed some form of possessiveness when they were going hard at it after Venti mentioned he needed to attend to some unfinished business in Mondstadt. But apparently the mark hasn't healed just yet and he was almost crushed by a meteorite because of a series of misunderstandings.
"It's okay, it's okay. We won't tell, so spill~" Kaeya tries to coax the younger-looking bard into confessing. This is certainly more fun than he anticipated when he sauntered into Angel's Share that evening.
A couple of rushed footsteps sound by the tavern's door, and the door opens to two soldiers, heavily panting.
"Sir Kaeya, we finally found you!"
"A band of Hilichurls have set up a barricade by the north entrance. They've brought explosive slime barrels!"
The two recruits quickly deliver their reports.
"I guess we can save this for another time. Duty calls," the Cavalry Captain says and rises up from his seat with a swagger before rushing out of the tavern.
"And I was wondering why he persists to linger here when he is on the clock," Diluc mutters as he places a wine glass down after making the previous one sparkle to perfection. He peers at the unusually silent bard's face and makes a face.
"Don't tell me you're lovesick already."
"Ahhh, I think I know how that stone-for-brains feels now. Sucks that I can't tease him about it anymore." Venti takes a ball-like item from his pocket and holds it up to his face.
The Pyro Vision holder stills for a moment. Before him sat an adolescent boy who was fondly looking at the trinket his crush had given [10] him. It was not the visage of a couple of millennia old former Archon who bore a huge weight over his shoulders and had to hide away his loneliness and regret under an ever-cheerful façade. He has this dopey grin on as he hums a small tune. His eyes seem to glaze over, remembering something fond about the owner of the trinket, giggling from time to time.
"If I may hazard a guess…" Diluc starts as he resumes polishing wine glasses. "Is it that Anemo wielding Adeptus?"
"Is it that obvious?" Venti looks at him, kind of offended.
Diluc huffs and offers him another glass of Dandelion Wine, on the house.
"Visions are the blessing of the gods to their chosen ones after all."
—○ ● ○ ◇◇◇ ○ ● ○ —
Footnotes:
[1] The liquid that had been taken from the bottle was only enough for two shots. Given how Diluc has an ironically low tolerance for alcohol, it is enough to knock out the Wine Master cold.
Whether or not it served its purpose of wiping away the memory is debatable.
[2] This is a shameless reference on the song covers Venti's EN and CN voice actors have shared on social media.
Song #1 - Wellerman Sea Shanty cover by Erika Harlacher (Venti's EN VA)
Point to be emphasized - a whale is hunted down and killed
Childe's thought process when he hears it for the first time:
"Wouldn't you know, this is pretty catchy!"
"Oh nice, a big whale is mentioned~"
"Wait… are they hunting it down? Why do I feel depressed all of a sudden?"
Song #2 - Patchwork Staccato cover by Miaojiang (Venti's CN VA)
Main point of the song - a girl (the singer) wants to cut off and forget about a toxic relationship.
Childe's thought process when he hears it for the first time:
"Wow, Venti's voice can go that high, huh? It's really pretty too. I can see how that legend about Dvalin descending from Celestia has some truth in it."
"OH SHIT, why does that sound familiar?"
"Ugh, pleeeaaaase stoooop. I'm dying of embarrassment here. I don't want to remember those days I thought it'd be better for xiansheng hadn't existed or that it was better we never met."
"Stop digging into my past like this, Venti. Argh, O Tsaritsa, I'm pathetic."
A voice in his mind: "I'm afraid you are when it comes to these matters, my Childe."
/gulps/ "Your Imperial Majesty, the Tsarista?"
"…"
"..."
Now, please translate the songs mentioned above to an appropriate Teyvat equivalent.
[3] For those who have not read the parent story "Ruin Guards are so Hard to Photograph", or footnote #3 in "Venti Incognito", let me share a story.
Once upon a time, Venti the Bard visited his friend Zhongli the Funeral Parlor Consultant in Liyue for the first time in about a thousand years. The bard asked quite a crude question that had sent him flying from Mt. Tianheng, quite literally by his friend.
An unsuspecting roof in Liyue Harbor catches Venti's fall, breaking it in the process.
Now, roof repair remunerations were needed and the Traveler and Paimon were adamant to receive payment from him, so that they could pay Tartaglia the 11th Fatui Harbinger (under the code name 'Childe').
The remunerations he owed the Traveler were paid with Mora and some hard work as a party member. And they lived happily ever after.
[4] It was hard work to ask some Fatui agents to disguise as normal folk from Mondstadt and have them infiltrate Dawn Winery to conduct a survey on how much Venti had stolen from the plantation so far.
He did the number crunching himself before letting Ekaterina deal with the anonymous transfer.
It was a shame all that hard work was all for naught.
[5] It was almost that time of the year again… when Diluc would start withdrawing from society for about a week or two. There was no definite start or end to it but one thing remained constant: one of those days in Master Crepus Ragnvindr's death anniversary.
[6] Venti was actually trying to keep his thoughts about a particular couple in Liyue—a stellar example of how an Archon and his enemy, a Fatui Harbinger, can fraternize so easily. Letting that slip will not go very well for him after all.
[7] As the wise Diluc had said:
"If I were to choose between eating a Cryo Slime alive or joining the Fatui, I'd prefer to be crushed to death by a meteorite."
[8] Think "nurse outfit".
[9] The situation does call for it; he couldn't leave Xiao for too long or all that self-affirmation exercises they worked on will come undone. Not to mention, Venti himself would probably fall back on drinking too much again, undoing his own progress towards improving his own alcoholism. Staying in Liyue too long set him straight. [9.1]
[9.1] For those who have not read the parent work, take note that this bard here had been arrested for public underaged drinking on his first day in Liyue Harbor. Zhongli had to bail him out.
[10] You know the drill by now, Venti took that spare censer from Xiao's belongings when the Yaksha wasn't looking just before he left the inn.
Original A/N:
And Part 1's done~
(I hope I did some justice on Diluc and Kaeya's portrayal, or at least it wasn't that bad. I'm so not used to writing them ^^;; )
I'm not sure when I can get Part 2 out. I haven't written a thing for it yet because of gacha pain (and that plush request I'm working on). I'll recover from that first and actually play through the character story quests I haven't touched yet (Childe's, Zhongli's Mona's, Ganyu's, and Hu Tao's)
I wanted to get this out today to serve as a catalyst for my Venti
But alas, my fanfic offerings did not please Venti the Bard,
Now, I shall cry very hard
Fifty-two wishes in, and only Mona gave a spook
If I throw in my last 10-pull, will it brighten my outlook?
Ah, gacha pain. (and then there's the dilemma of trying for Childe or waiting for Zhongli...)
Anyways, I hope you had fun reading this~ Give me a little something if you did, hehehe
I'm always eager to listen to your thoughts~