Chapter 13: Burning the House Down
What was the point when his life was complete pain?
Looking back, Sasuke had a list of people that were in the way for one reason or another method of finally getting rid of the pain. Itachi, having been the one who took away his entire family. Then it was each girl that confessed their love to him, then the entirety of Team 7 outside of Kakashi - who later only joined the list when he wouldn't continue teaching him powerful techniques.
But was it really all the people that made his life a pain, he wondered in his cold room underground after a long day of finally getting something he needed. Powerful techniques, strong moves that defeated those he couldn't stand to look at or couldn't add on his list.
Because they weren't in the way, or didn't mean to be.
He had abandoned all those that wanted to help in a different way. They wanted him to slow down so others could catch up, for him to open up and confess how damaged and scared he must be with the monster out there, and as he would later learn, to join him on hunting that monster.
Was he really scared, though?
Until the moment he had finally seen his older brother again in a hotel that the deadlast was in at age 13, he was not. But desperation bled it into something else.
And there was a cloud, a cloud that covered his mind when he should've been listening to those around him for once in his life.
Did he regret it now? Not really. His time with Orochimaru was educational. His list hadn't changed when he became the Snake Sannin's student, because all those he had come across were something else.
The science experiments - he still couldn't find words to describe how it felt to look upon them. From the other side of the glass, a clipboard may hold their unimportant life before that very moment, not that Orochimaru kept track. Kabuto though, he enjoyed seeing how one responded to familiar people or feelings. Some were citizens he swore he could recognize in some form, whether it was simply because some were from Konoha or really him trying to find some kind of feeling instead of anger.
Sasuke was tired of fighting to show the inconsiderate people that he was doing the right thing by killing Itachi Uchiha, trying to show that he was tired of wasting his time to get them to leave him alone. Standing outside a tube full of some human that didn't know his pain didn't stir anything but jealousy - that the only thing they would understand from that moment on was bloodlust. It was why he would go too far on them, ending their existence of another pain he could at least be grateful to never feel.
But Naruto, the stupid girl who didn't confess her love to him even once but swore to be his rival in the Academy, the dead-last to even him and the Kunoichi of the Year out, never gave up.
Maybe it was all the time he spent alone in his own head and in the darkness of his room, knowing he could not confess such a weakness to the snake-like man who was clearly grooming him for a ritual to become what was it - powerful? No, immortal with a pair of powerful eyes. He himself had given up a great power that was deep in his bones for what? Not in fear of Orochimaru's plans, but for her to keep living.
Because the reality was, Naruto is his best friend.
Knowing now his own brother had killed his own best friend and cousin, he was ashamed - even more so when she had appeared before him at the destroyed base.
The voice that sounded more like Orochimaru every day had hissed to him that this must have been how Itachi felt each time he even thought of his little brother.
Annoyed that the pest was returning, tired of swatting them back into their place.
It was easy to ignore the voice, though he'd admit it only gave insight he'd store for later when he was alone in the dark.
And he was close to learning all he could from Orochimaru, but the sight of two new members stopped him from even reconsidering his words. He could recognize one of the few experiments Orochimaru successfully completed and the dead look with a monotone voice that could compete with his on a normal day, a ROOT member sent to replace him.
Unsheathing his sword was a waste since he could never kill her. Knowing she heard it, she didn't flinch and instead leaned into his touch.
Gathering his own team wasn't a complete attempt to replace those that he would refuse to say he missed, he acknowledged that he needed unique and strong individuals by his side to defeat his brother - refusing to accept help from those that he had already left behind before. It would've been a hassle to convince them to drop everything and to join him now, to pretend he was interested in catching up on the past with anyone except Naruto.
His entire world had come crashing down.
Once more, but instead of a bomb going off it was an easing of crushing everything he had believed to absolute dust.
Knowing his brother wasn't yet dead despite their battle, the new Hokage had explained his continued existence would be worse than death. Keeping forms just out of his reach, his experience with Orochimaru and Kabuto writing medical reports revealed the story behind his brother's disease - diagnosed at 10 and well past his life expectancy as an experienced Shinobi with an addiction to strong and illegal medication.
For some reason, he couldn't understand why Itachi had survived for so long in that much pain. He assumed it was because he was a selfish monster.
With a vicious smile, Tsunade had explained on her exit that he would be attending the hearing alongside Itachi deciding the fate of the Uchiha Clan, a long-awaited court meeting.
While there, he felt Itachi's presence nearby and he gritted his teeth. Listening to the reports of Inochi about his trauma thanks to his older brother, the horrified gasps of his former teammates left him resisting the urge to practically growl at the man to shut up. Having held onto it all in silence, it was humiliating to be exposed and put in a pitying position.
Refusing to look at his brother, the bright red flash caught his attention. Glancing at the expression of the council and Tsunade, the blonde woman was clearly enjoying this - having known he would lie while the council began to shift.
"I guess that means I have to ask, Itachi, were you protecting Sasuke, too?"
"Yes."
Jerking against the bolt in the floor, the seals across him that detained his chakra was the only light left in the room after everyone had left chasing after the real criminal.
The real criminal, who he didn't know. That wasn't his brother, technically. His brother held the blade, but he did not have a choice - just as Sasuke felt he didn't have a choice but to leave Konoha, only for him.
A coup d'tact.
Overthrowing the village they protected as the police force.
Murdering the Third Hokage, the ninjas that chose him over the Uchiha's, maybe even killing Naruto - a child just like him for being the Kyuubi Jinchuuriki.
If it was true, how could it have been? He remembered seeing the overly plump and happy shopkeepers within the compound, why would they dare want to disrupt the peace?
Feeling his world spin as the ground shook, it was Naruto who crouched down to begin undoing the bolt that kept his restrained. It was Sakura that pulled him up from the ground, stopping Naruto from undoing the chains with the chakra repressing seals. They lead him to the battleground, where a crowd of hundreds had gathered to hear the Hokage explain Danzo's crimes.
Standing by Naruto, feeling unjust even though the real murderer of the Uchiha Clan was dead, he had spent his life chasing the wrong person all this time. Watching her surprisingly stony face as she watched the crowd cheer for Danzo's death, it wasn't as revealing as he thought other than proof that she had truly changed inside.
He wasn't the only one that had been protected in a backwards manner, he just chose not to voice it during anyone's visits in his cell.
Anticipating the court hearing that would continue and explain it all, he felt his mouth fill with ashes at seeing and hearing the world he was hidden from. Dear Shisui's suicide, ignorant villagers that had pitied him would have once spoken behind his back just as they had for the Uzumaki, they were too proud to go without a fight, a bloody one that would've started another war. Within the walls until the news spread, the next Shinobi War on the horizon soon after with a weakened force.
His plan on ensuring that no one would be able to uncover his tracks, to reveal the truth behind the clans demise went so deep that the screams of his family still ringed in his ears. It had worked, Sasuke would have gladly killed him, believing his story of wanting to test his strength, of hating Konoha and those in it. The reminder of now knowing that not even Itachi could have killed his best friend was the breaking point repeatedly, any future interaction between the two becoming heated.
Because they were the same.
Too soft.
The jealousy he still felt of Itachi paying more attention to Naruto than him once again ached in his chest, knowing that without having met her, he had protected her just as he had him.
The only reason that his older brother had survived was that he wasn't strong enough to land a killing blow, or as he would learn because Kakashi had already known when the retrieval team arrived just after they had gone unconscious. Not just for the purpose of finding information about Akatsuki but because he wanted his own questions answered.
Destroying the house, summoning lightning and fire to shoot at his brother, he was back to feeling the anger in his chest constantly. A constant that boiled over frequently, set off at the smallest of actions that frustrated him anyway. The words of being too soft, too similar to the world's sheep dressed as a wolf, and the trauma he had suffered to be safe on repeat in his mind.
The one person that could feel remotely the same stayed away and when he tried to find out where she was, his brother lurked to overhear, not that anyone knew.
Shamed for being an Uchiha, who would have thought that was possible? The co-founder family of Konoha had fallen from grace with Naruto's birth, but Itachi did not blame her. Without Itachi, he could've been in her spot. Hated for something he couldn't control.
Yet he was the one who kept her away when he finally needed someone there that had spent years wanting to be there.
Watching her summon a wall of wind, only Yamato had stood on guard while Kakashi watched. Itching to join in the battle that was sure to start with her, he couldn't help but stare horrified as the wall fell at what he heard.
"You still lied to me, ya know. Made me fall in love with someone who isn't real."
Unanswered on the only response he could give, Sasuke burned the house down.
Summoning storm clouds, he didn't care about the crowd gathering. Only listening to Sakura and Kakashi - it came clear what questions Kakashi wanted answered.
Once again, everyone knew before him.
And when she finally returned, a month later once more, she had forgiven Itachi so easily.
He couldn't blame himself for another house burning down, laying in the ashes as the silent tears finally fell, him admitting defeat. Giving in to the swirl of hopelessness, loss, and frustration. No more destruction would make him feel better, for this anger to finally go away. The only ones who could be blamed were Naruto's most likely dead parents for wanting to have a child, the executed Danzo, or his dead family for being the worse kind of traitors.
He wasn't sure how long he sat there, the few embers left burning at his skin as he laid in the mess he had made before crackling footsteps came from behind him. Sasuke didn't look at who put their hand on his shoulder for a while, or who sat beside him with their legs touching. Squinting his eyes in stubbornness to accept their comfort, he waited for them to leave and give him the space he deserved.
But they didn't leave.
And when he opened his eyes, Naruto was sitting with her legs crossed and a knee jammed against his thigh, arms holding her body up as she stared upward at the clouds, her signature thinking face from their academy days. He couldn't help but be memorized as her fast healing fought off the repetitive burning embers before he lifted his eyes and turned his head, finally remembering that someone had rested their hand on his shoulder.
And it was Itachi, his piercing gaze staring into his soul behind his glasses. Not emotionlessly but with a look that he thought only the Uzumaki could give him.
Understanding.