Chapter 7
The Return of the Phantom Retort and the Medal That Vanished in the Dark
§
[Nightfall, near a secured building]
All is quiet in the area, perhaps too quiet. Suddenly, the searchlights were activated and the klaxon alarm went off in a loud noise.
The masked, marauding Phantom Retort strikes again!¹
The guard dogs were barking loudly and the guards were in disorder as the caped crusader skillfully made his escape with his quarry in hand.
The Phantom Retort. No state-of-the-art security systems could stop him from entering a collector's house, stealing not their money nor their valuable jewels, but their prized rare Medarot medals, a gentleman thief who always gets what he wants.
He carries a stolen, uncommon, yet unknown Mystery (?) Medal in his grasp as he says, "I'll be taking this Medal. So long, suckers! I like to leave the scene with a bang!" And he leaves the scene with a sinister laugh and big explosion, while the real Retort disappears into the moonlit night.
The Phantom Retort strikes again!
Who hides behind this mask? Those so-called collectors were asking themselves, "How long will this fair-weathered fiend, the Phantom Retort, be allowed to roam at will, dragging up the mud the name of justice and decency?", not knowing that their own dirty deeds done behind everyone else's backs will be brought to the light of real justice. Nobody but a chosen few knows of Retort's true identity. Was his Medal collecting all for himself or under a client's order? Much will be explained at a later date.
-Medarots-
[The next day, at the 24-Hour Hop Mart]
Metabee is waiting on top of the shop sign as he relaxes while Brass is sitting down beside the sign, hearing the conversation below.
Hikaru, in his civilian shopkeeper persona, is reading the headlines of the Phantom Retort already making infamy towards certain collectors when he hears Arika talking to Naruto about something else.
"Did you hear about what happened lately?" she asked, "You mentioned that yūrei (ghost) from the magazine?"
"Yeah, this has been going on for over a week. It got so bad, Kiku-chan wouldn't risk coming home late at night, even with Kagamiyama and Iwanoi," Naruto said after his recent date with Kikuhimé after she got angry at him for kissing Arika first. (In her part, Kikuhimé was forced by her mother to go to cram school alongside Dance Class to keep up with her studies, so she was disappointed for a while. She and Naruto then compromised and they soon made up and embraced each other without trying to let anger get in the way, away from the public view but they shared a kiss together as the competition of love in the battlefield heats up.)
Arika says, "From what I've heard, it could be another of those Medarot Hunters preying on unsuspecting people, preferably kids like us."
Hikaru tries to get Naruto and Arika to pay attention to the recent news report, "Hey! Why don't you listen to what I was saying? Look at it! That phantom thief Retort showed up again! Wow! He's so cool! I want to be like him!"
"Like we care about that," Naruto ignored his brother-figure's flippant attitude.
"Yeah, we have bigger issues at hand besides that big showoff," Arika agreed, leaving Hikaru very disappointed. She turns to Naruto and gets back to the subject, "It's about this ghost story that has been famous lately. It's milder in nature compared to the face mask story, but nevertheless scary. Legend has it that this ghost'll get you and your Medarot if you walk around at night." She tells the story,
"On a journey to the east, in the dead of night, a young boy and his Medarot were walking down a side street, when suddenly, a cold wind began to blow. A voice cried out to them in a wail,
"Leave the medal…"
"Leave the medal..."
"Leave it…"
"Spirits of the area appeared and a pair of bright yellow eyes soon followed, aiming to scare the passersby and soon hands from the voice started to grab its victims.
"Leave it out!"
"Girl, your face is too much for that, 💧" Naruto felt his friend's hands grabbing him from behind and playfully nibbling on his ear with her lips, "And besides, I know a worse one compared to this."
"Oh really?" Arika relent as she embraces him, "What do you really believe in?"
Naruto answers, "Oh, I believe that there like real aliens including the alien grandmother, other habitable planets, jewels and gems as big as my fist, and 30-story tall creatures, some dressed for the occasion, that are very intelligent, and can do all sorts of giant things and all kinds of stuff like that there."
"Like what exactly? 💧"
"Say, giant toads dressed like olden samurai, carrying sharp blades, and can spit out toad oil that burns when lit by something as close to a lighted match, or giant slugs that divide, multiply, and merge into one that can heal a person's wounds and can spit out deadly acid, or perhaps giant chameleons that disguise themselves as mansions and swallows almost anything inside their stomachs…"
"No more, Naruto-kun!" Arika shivered, "The giant toads and slugs I don't really get, but the last one you mentioned almost made me wet my pants! That's scarier than the medal-nabbing yūrei story..."
Naruto's imagination from another life can be stranger than fiction to Arika and possibly even others as he pets her head to calm her down.
::The last ones I don't really get, but there must be something about yūrei hunting medals. Something's got to give.:: Hikaru pondered to himself as he retreated quietly back in the shop.
Just then, a familiar pink limousine appeared on the same side of the street next to the shop and pulled over. It was Karin Junmai in the rear passenger seat as she rolled the window down. "Konnichiwa (Good day), Naruto-san, Arika-san."
Arika lets go of Naruto as they greet each other in a friendly manner. Then she asks Karin who is stepping out of the limo, "What's going on? Isn't it rare for you to come down here?"
"I just came here because I have something to say to you," Karin answered.
Naruto is curious about why the girl from Hanazono Schools would come here and it's not getting some ice cream, but then Karin's friend Koji Karakuchi showed up from the limo. "Nice to see you again, Guji," Naruto greeted with a sneer.
"That's "Kōji" to you, peasant!" the pretty boy replied, "Hn, I'm just escorting my Karin to keep pests like you far away from her." He makes a sneer of his own.
"Aren't you a selfish sonnuva…" Naruto growls back.
Sparks of rivalry between the boys begin to spark and act like a wolf and a fox.
"Oh my, you two have become close already," Karin said in an obliviously friendly manner.
"I don't think that's it…," Arika doubted.
Naruto relented a little and as he asked, "So why are you and Karin-san coming here today?"
"Actually, it's because Kōji-san met the ghost last night and his Sumilodonad's medal was stolen," Karin answered.
"K-K-K-K-Karin!" Kōji nervously stammered about his recent SNAFU, "I told you to keep quiet about that!"
"But Kōji-san, it's not nice to keep things to yourself like that," Karin said, "You were screaming like crazy when that yūrei surprised you like that. I haven't seen you shriek this badly since your trouble with b…"
"No! Don't say it!" Kōji argued, trying to keep his real fear of the particular 4-letter B-group word a secret, "That doesn't give you the right to tell them that!"
Naruto couldn't help but double over in laughter from what he saw and said, "Hehe-hehahaha! That's a good one, y'know! I didn't know that... that you… the big jock of Hanazono Elementary, is afraid of a simple yūrei! Hahaha! That's a killer! Hahaha!"
"Why, you!" Koji wanted to strangle Naruto to shut him up, but he avoided the lunge with a little Capoeira dance moves.
"That Koji kid is such a wuss, keeping Karin all to himself like he's hiding her away from the world," Metabee said to Brass.
"And Naruto sure knows how to make a good impression," Brass replied.
"If I didn't know any better, Brass, I'm starting to think you're actually liking Naruto, even though he's flesh and blood while we're practically made of metal."
"Whatever do you mean, Metabee? 💕" Brass blushes as she swoons and sighs at her admirer wishing that she's close to being human and gets wild in bed with Naruto and possibly the other girls.
Metabee still has a long way to go in understanding human nature.
"Boys! Boys!" Arika tries to stop them from fighting each other, "Anyway, Karin-san, can you tell us where and when you met the ghost? This could be first-page material we are looking for in a while!"
Kōji and Karin explained the location Arika and Naruto where the incident occured in one of the sanctioned forest parks near Ginjō City's old residential district.
"Looks like we got another myth to bust," Metabee said as he and Brass would be glad to meet SaintNurse again.
-Medarots-
[Later, en route towards the destination]
It was getting towards sunset (before 19:00) as Naruto, Arika, Karin, Kōji, Hikaru, Metabee, Brass, and SaintNurse walked along the old district towards the forested park.
Naruto is in a bit of a fix; Arika (who tries not to lose her temper in her rivalry) is holding his hand by his left side with Brass next to her while Karin (is feeling spacey with the awkward atmosphere around her) is holding his other hand by his right side with SaintNurse next to her. Kōji is behind Naruto, angrily grinding his teeth because he is jealous that the spiky-haired kid is getting too close to his sweetheart Karin and the peasant girl Arika like he's an enigma who doesn't care about class. And Hikaru, he sighs at the situation that he's seeing, as if he's 99.9% sure he's been in this situation before in his younger days as a schoolkid with Kirara and Nae.
The crows were calling in the ominous streets where some street lamps flicker and some trees were already dead in the middle of summer.
"So this is the strange place where Kōji was attacked before?" Arika asked.
"That's right," Karin answered, "It's sad to see Nad-chan (Sumilodonad) was immobilized."
"This is so stupid," Koji tries to deny, "I was just a bit careless, that's all."
"Well, I don't understand why we have to come here and get clues this late?" Naruto said, "I hope it's not as bad as the dark side of town with Yama-kong."
Arika, Brass, and Metabee shiver at the last time they stayed out this late while Karin and Kōji didn't understand the earlier event. Then Arika shrugs off the chill and says, "Listen, ghosts don't really just come out during the daytime, are they?"
"I do agree with Naruto on this one," Hikaru replied, "Forget about the ghost. Searching for clues about people like the Phantom Retort would make a much better article."
"Hikaru-nii, we didn't exactly agree on looking for the Phantom Thief, y'know. He'll likely find us first," Naruto disagreed, "And besides following us out here, what'll happen to your job at the store?"
"Hey, now!" Hikaru stammered, "I just come here out of kindness. I thought it'd be dangerous for a bunch of children to go out alone at this time of night, so you need adult supervision. And besides that, I don't do night shifts."
"Yeah, yeah," Arika rolled her eyes in discontentment.
"And if Kōji doesn't turn chicken, you might want to stay out of his way, y'know," Naruto commented with a hidden smirk.
"I heard that," Kōji annoyingly replied.
"Arika-chan, I have the camera ready for low-light mode," Brass said and her handler is proud of her partner.
An ominous wind is blowing in the air. Crows are flying away like an ill omen.
Karin said to her Medarot, "There was no need for you to tag along with us, Nurse-chan."
"Karin-chan, I can't just bring myself to let you go somewhere so dangerous all alone," SaintNurse courageously replied.
"This yūrei forces you to Robattle, right?" Brass questioned, "So we Medarots need to be here to help with the investigation."
"That's right, Brass," Arika happily agreed, "That's how a journalist's assistant should be."
Naruto hopes that he knows what risks that he and his friends are coming to.
-Medarots-
[The Forest at night]
It's quiet as the group were treading further into the woods. Naruto's senses are tingling as he assesses the situation, and he notices that one person is absent already, "Guys, Hikaru-nii's gone!"
"Where is Hikaru-san?" Karin asked and the group looked around and he's nowhere in sight, "It's really weird, I'm sure he was right behind us a few seconds ago."
"He can't just take the coward's way out and leave us behind like that. It ain't right, y'know," Naruto said.
"Good grief," Kōji agreed, "He's an irresponsible grown-up."
"Where could he have gone, I wonder?" Arika questioned while starting to break out in sweat.
Then Naruto notices a pair of yellow eyes moving from tree to tree and then he says, "Something's wrong here. I'm getting the feeling that we're being watched."
Fear is starting to set in with the group as the only lights in the park suddenly went dark. Kōji foolishly tries to move ahead while the rest follow carefully behind. Unfortunately, Arika and Karin are squeezing their arms and their chests closer to Naruto than usual - Arika's "bouncy pair" and Karin's "little hills" through their shirts. And poor Naruto's hormones are starting to get the better of him as his erection is showing in his shorts.
Then the voice of Kōji started screaming in the area as if somebody got him first. "That was Kōji!" Karin nervously said.
"First the shopkeeper, and now Kōji-san," Arika worryingly said, "Do something, Naruto-kun!"
"I would, if you girls let go of my arms, y'know...," Naruto said as he pointed at the situation and Arika slapped him for that little unintentional slight, "Thanks, I needed it…" He has a slap mark on his face to get that chill away.
"Anytime," a pouting Arika said.
The girls then try not to get too far apart in searching for their friends when Arika felt something ticklish rubbing against her elbow, "Hehehehahaha! Naruto, stop tickling me!"
"Arika-chan, that wasn't me," Naruto disproved as he wasn't that close to his friend.
"That's weird, I'm sure somebody is tickling me with something," Arika looked around in the dark forest. Then Karin started shrieking from something tickling her legs and flaunting her skirt (showing her precociously sexy red underwear) as she stumbled and she and Arika crashed into Naruto as they were getting to titillate them.
"Naruto, get your boy-parts off of us!" Arika yelled.
"Girls, more like, get yourselves off of me!" Naruto yelled back, "Sorry, Karin-san."
Then the girls were surprisingly slapped by something slimy as they started to panic and started running like hell without knowing that they were going until they were taken away.
Meanwhile, the Medarots try not to stray too far from each other as they stick close to Naruto.
"Oh, dear! We've lost them!" Naruto groaned as he couldn't see his friends anywhere.
Naruto and the Medarots soon found Kōji lying unconscious, face-first in the grass. He appears to be breathing, but must have knocked himself out in a panic attack and has an impression on the ground from getting stepped on.
But then, just when things couldn't get any worse, a familiar laughter is ringing through Naruto's ears. It's not the so-called Yūrei beckoning, but the famous Phantom Retort that appeared on top of a sturdy tree branch.
"Of all the worst timings," Naruto complained, "You just had to show up, Phantom Renegade!"²
Retort facefaulted for a moment as he regained his footing, "I am NOT the Phantom Renegade!" the masked gentleman argued, "I am Phantom Retort, a traveler in search of rare medals all over the world! And I'll be getting your medals soon enough once I finish with my business first, Naruto-kun!" And he vanished as he made his escape.
Naruto already knows who the Phantom really is, but he's not telling anybody that, so he likes to plan a few nasty tricks of his own against the Phantom and Rubberobo gang to pacify them. He asked Metabee and Brass to cover him and SaintNurse while he carries Kōji on his back while keeping his gear the other way to counterbalance the weight.
For Naruto and his training skills, lifting people like Koji is nothing compared to what lies in store.
Koji is still unconscious as he feels like a cat just steps on him and scratches his face and has a few leaves in his mouth.
(It was also unusual luck that the Yūrei missed Naruto and the Medarots.)
-Medarots-
Naruto spots a shack in the middle of the woods and he puts Kōji in a darkened area while he, SaintNurse, and Brass sneak around, trying not to make too much noise. He hears people counting medals inside and then peeks through the knotholes in the shambled shack and sees the same Rubberobo Quartet from the other day counting the Medarot medals stolen from their victims and leaving trash of used food products on the floor. Naruto peers further and finds Karin and Arika alive, but were stripped of their clothing - down to their underwear and bras - tied up and gagged.
Naruto moves back quietly and briefs with his mustered party of Medarots to plan an attack on the Rubberobo clowns, take them by surprise, rescue the girls, and recover the stolen medals before Phantom "Renegade" starts nosing around even behind a mask.
(Meanwhile, Kōji mumbles as he tries to regain consciousness, only to… *konk! 🐦* hit his head next to a thick branch above him. It's lights out again for Kōji...)
Naruto prepares to use a little strategy as he and Metabee standby to raid while Brass and SaintNurse ready themselves to rescue their handlers.
"98, 99, 100 medals," Sarami numbered the variety of stolen Medarot Medals.
"Hey, Sarami," Surumé asked, "Are you sure you know how to count, robo?"
"But, really," Shiokara explained, "To think that the story about the "Gimme Ghost" was made out to hide the existence of our gang's high tech super secret base would bring us this little gift, robo. What a stroke of genius!"
"I know, right?" Sakékasu bragged, "Kids keep coming here one after another looking for our "ghost", robo! Man!, I never want to quit this nefarious prank!"
They laughed precariously in their boasting while Arika and Karin are still captives, wishing that they hadn't separated from Naruto and their partner Medarots who probably have their medals lost.
But then the Rubberobos notice that they smell smoke coming from the only entrance of the shack and when they open the door, they are caught in a pit hole trap and are now trapped. Naruto uses the opportunity to let Brass and Karin take the girls and escape in the middle of the rumpus while Naruto grabs the sack full of medals as they move away, hit-and-run.
Sakékasu was the first to get out as he yelled, "Stop, thief!" He looks at Naruto and whines, "Not you again! You're that kid who snitched us after we tried to start our racket - - I mean, business!"
"Look who's talking, y'know," Naruto countered as he put the big bag of medals aside, "It seems that you didn't learn your lesson, picking on kids like us just to get their Medarot Medals. Seriously, that "Yūrei oitéké" story is so shallow and plotless."
"You're bluffing, robo!" Sakékasu yelled as his co-conspirators escaped the pit, "There's no way a snotty-nose little brat like you could get in the way, robo! Let's do it, robo!"
"Robo!" Surumé, Sarami, and Shiokara pulled out the props to scare Naruto into submission. Naruto senses through the darkness that Sakékasu is using a Medarot and a battery-powered radio to make sinister noises, Surumé is using a wet sponge tethered to a fishing line, Shiokara is also using a fishing trick with a glove that induces tickling with its fingers, and Sarami using lighting props disguised as spirits.
"This is getting monotonous, 💧" he said before calls on his Medawatch, "Now, Metabee!"
Metabee ran at a high rate of speed and tackled the Rubberobos who were standing in a row.
He stopped and said, "What were you waiting for, Naruto?"
"Perfect timing, Metabee," Naruto thanked his partner.
"Why, you little bastards!" Sakékasu angrily said, nearly grinding his teeth, but the atmosphere was interrupted by none other than the Phantom Retort who grabbed the sack of medals. Arika and Karin (fully reclothed) ran with their Medarots to support Naruto and they thanked him with a big hug for rescuing them (and not leaving Metabee out), but more importantly, they and Naruto also saw the Phantom Thief make his escape with the loot with a blast.
"You little punks!" Sakékasu squawks, "At this point, we'll have to settle by getting this boy's medal, robo! It's high-time that I challenge you to a robattle! Come forth, Mistyghost!"
The Rubberobos' GHT-type Medarot [Mistyghost] appears from the woods, hovering with its bright, yellow opticals flashing and reflecting at the kids.
-Meda Vital Stats-
Mistyghost
Owners: Rubberobo Gang
Medal: L - Ghost
Specialty: Lesser Defense Tactics
"I knew there had to be a theme to this," Naruto said as he recognized the Medarot, "Let's do it, Metabee!"
"I've been waiting for a Meda-beating!" Metabee said as his safety locks were removed.
"Then both participants agreed…," Mr. Uruchi appears from the well as a ghostly, wailing, regretting yūrei, "This fight has now been recognized as an official one-on-one submission Robattle… Well, then… Robattle… Fight…"
(dinnn!)
The referee's acting is a bit uncool, even to Karin's standards.
Naruto didn't mind the unsettling atmosphere, so he whispered to Metabee through his watch, "Mistyghost has the ability to avoid weak attacks, you got to hit him where it counts and hit him hard."
Sakékasu laughs with a smirk as Mistyghost takes cover near a tree.
Metabee charges in to corner Mistyghost, but then another Mistyghost appear, and another, and another?
"What the - -? Why are there so many of you?" Metabee questioned the situation.
"Mistyghost has a secret technique of multiplying doubles at his disposal," Sakékasu confidently said.
"Multiplying... doubles?" another flashback is happening inside Naruto's head about the time he tries to use the Illusion Double Jutsu which fizzled in front of a classroom and was ultimately kicked out of the academy for the failure. But just as he was about to remember more of his lost memories, Karin snapped him out of the trance and said, "Naruto-san, wake up!" He looked around and saw Karin trying to get his attention as she said, "Fighting alone against so many is impossible!"
"Metabee and I had faced worse odds before, Karin-san, don't worry about it," he said, "And besides, Mistyghost doesn't have this kind of ability. There has to be a trick to this."
"Naruto, would you hurry up and tell me how to fight those things?" Metabee impatiently yelled via Medawatch contact.
Naruto whispered to Metabee to play along so that they could catch the Rubberobos in the act, "Then if Mistyghost likes multiplication, then let's give him a little subtraction. Metabee, for now, shoot like crazy until you make it count."
"Whatever you say," Metabee didn't know exactly what his handler was planning, so he used his Submachinegun at the Mistyghosts, but the bullets seemed to pass right through them - - - no success.
Karin says with her hand on her chin, "It's not working, it seems."
"What the heck are you up to with those dumb attacks, Naruto?" Arika felt slightly irritated.
Naruto then says, "Metabee, cease fire and back off!"
Metabee stops shooting and his weapon is in its cooling phase before reloading as he was cornered near a ravine while Sakékasu is laughing maniacally, thinking that he's won the battle. But then, a light from a spotlight hits Mistyghost and it disappears.
"Come on!" Surumé yelled as she blew her cover, "What's with this light‽"
It was Retort who used a spotlight that made the illusions fade out. Naruto has an idea as he pulls out his bright LED flashlight from his pack and spots it at the fake doubles and they fade out too.
Shiokara and Sarami also blew their covers as they and Surumé were on the spot with Retort's light.
"Hey, you jerk! Stop getting in the way, robo!" Shiokara yelled.
"Our super secret multiplication technique is very weak to light, robo!" Sarami screeched.
"Aaaagh! You stupid idiots!" Sakékasu scolded his subordinates, "Who told you to come out‽ You're spoiling the f*****g surprise, robo!"
"So! Caught ya!" Naruto called out, "Using outside assistance with fake projectors in a Robattle is a personal foul. Furthermore, Retort's countermeasures and my flashlight on your projectors do not interfere with the rules." And he caught the real Mistyghost with the flashlight as he is now on the spot.
Mr. Uruchi, redressed in his referee attire, agreed with the challenge and said, "Then it's settled. Due to unnecessary assistance by the Rubberobos, Naruto is declared the winner by default!"
(DING-DING-DING!)
"Damn...dammit! He got us!" Sakékasu cursed as he was forced to surrender one of Mistyghost's parts, "Naruto, was it? We'll remember this, robo!"
He and his partners grabbed what's left of their gear and made a tactical retreat, "Run away!"
(Mr. Uruchi also left the scene.)
Naruto and the girls couldn't believe what those lame Rubberobos really are as they came to one simple conclusion.
Karin, "Looks like…"
Arika, "...it was all…"
And Naruto, "...a case of very bad karma."
"Oh man, I wanted to finish off Mistyghost!" Metabee felt disappointed.
"Don't worry, Metabee," Brass consoled him, "You have another chance in the future."
"After all, you did help save our friends from the Rubberobo gang," SaintNurse agreed.
"Aw, shucks," Metabee blushed from the thanks.
But in the meantime, Phantom Retort (carrying the medals) is becoming very intrigued by not only Metabee's medal, but also Brass's medal as they were said to have Rare Medals inside and also with Naruto for the mysterious power to unlock the powers of the Medaforce before anybody else. To manage such trials is quite the feat, says he. Unfortunately, his bad karma got the better of him as the branch he was sitting on broke off and landed on the ground with a big thud. When the kids noticed him as he was about to leave, the sack had a big tear and the medals started pouring out of it.
"D-damnation! Screw this!" And he left the scene with a sprained ankle and an aching back.
"Looks like the Phantom is going to have to be laid up for a while," Naruto chuckled, "Along with a certain somebody… (?)" But then, he sees Karin and Arika feel enamored as they lightly tackled him to the ground and they kissed his face all over for their gratitude. Metabee was forced to keep his eyes shut by the blushing Brass's and SaintNurse's hands as they told him to keep quiet as the smooch-fest continued, all but very carefully and quietly.
About a few minutes later, Kōji woke up from his previous little accidents and he groaned, "What happened?"
"Kōji-san, You were here too?" Karin asked while trying not to break the secret to her friend.
"Yeah, I didn't see you here," Arika said while trying to put on a front, "We accidentally stepped on you while we were running. Sorry."
"Let me think. I recall that I got hit from behind, then I was carried by Naruto, and then I must have hit my head again. That probably explains why I got leaves and grass in my mouth? My memory is hazy."
Hikaru didn't show up, but he suddenly called Naruto's number and said that he can't continue after he sustained an injury from falling off a tree, looking for the kids.
Naruto hung up and said, "Guys, it looks like Hikaru-nii got himself into an accident and had to go back home. Guess I'll just have to escort you out of the forest." For some strange reason, Naruto (wiping the kiss marks off his face as if he's wiping off the sweat) has a feeling like he knows this forest from the back of his hand as he walks his friends and the Medarots out of the old city district and arrives at the Main Street near the Hop-Mart for Kōji's carriage and Karin's limo to escort them home for the night.
Arika is coming up with another new report of the recent Robattle and to show the Rubberobo Gang were making fools of themselves again.
Before Naruto dropped her back to her house, Arika and (surprisingly) Brass gave Naruto one last big kiss for the night. It's strange that Brass would have the ability to kiss even though she has no lips built into her like most female humanoid Medarots should.
Metabee is stuck in a delirium about how Naruto has all the luck.
Back to Naruto, if his mother sees the big kiss marks on his face, he hopes that wouldn't get trouble that he already has coming home late, but Chidori doesn't, as she and Jozō (returned from his business) were already worried, so they explained the sweet mystery about the facts of life with a private family nudist lesson in the house about body image and maintenance, everybody that is, except Metabee and Salty as they have to play elsewhere. The parents know that their only son is growing up to be quite charismatic, if not enigmatic towards certain girls, now that he has 3 to juggle with, plus 2 Female Medarots. With the low birth rate troubles trying to keep at an all-time low, the unexpected Medarot attacks, and the sudden scares from the pandemics, they hope that nothing would possibly go wrong in the family values… or would it?
-Medarots-
[The next day, at the Hop Mart]
Arika posted the latest edition on the inside of the window, showing Naruto and Metabee on the front page again, with Mistyghost's Head Part being held by the front man and Medarot themselves (after the Rubberobos were disqualified), while Kōji with his reactivated Sumilodonad, Karin with SaintNurse, and Brass are reading it. It also mentions the journalist herself (Arika) and an innocent bystander (Karin) that witnessed the action first-hand.
"So, I made a special issue for this," Arika said, "What do you think?"
"Thank goodness that we managed to find the owners of their lost medals, with the help of the Select Corps," Naruto said, "The medals have serial numbers that were engraved on the edges to tell which is which. Finding the right people is another thing."
"But we had to let the Phantom Retort get away, even though he needs first aid," Karin said.
"That's just one thing I don't understand about the Phantom Thief," Naruto said, "He's more of a『Renegade』than『Retort』."
"Mm-hmm, but still, all's well that ends well," Metabee says.
Arika, unfortunately, is still peeved that she missed a chance of taking the picture of the Phantom Retort, but she'll get another chance soon enough, while Hikaru was busy sweeping on the storefront and sidewalk.
Phantom Thief Retort
Who really hides behind the mask? Nobody but a chosen few knows of his true identity. Nobody else, right?
*Crick!* "Owwowowow…" the Phantom still has injuries from last night's incident.
-Winning Medaparts-
Naruto
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Mistyghost: Void (Head Part)
Omaké
Naruto's Extra Trick to the Rubberobos
When the Rubberobo gang retreated back to their main hideout, Sakékasu was mulling about his latest blunder when Surume noticed that while in their escape, she noticed something black sticking to his butt like a chestnut's husk, along with a tiny rolled-up piece of paper as Sarami read out, [Okay, Rubberobo gang. You asked for it!]
The black sticking ball was actually an explosive gag bomb, covering the room in black smoke, stripping the victims in the aftermath of their flimsy clothing and leaving fig leaves to cover themselves as they just contacted their head leader who is starting to lose his patience for the Rare Medals that haven't shown up.
Naruto's「exploding chestnut in the ass」 trick is a success.
Meanwhile, Naruto sneezed from somebody speaking ill-will about him. His project Shingata Kabuto prototype is almost complete for the Medarot Part Generator and Metabee's alternate parts are in progress.
"Curse that little brat!"
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A/N: ¹ - "Buckaroo Bugs" reference
² - A play on the English DUB version
Just to be clear in this version, Naruto isn't really afraid of ghosts in his past life, he was too busy sneaking, spying, and hiding nearly to the point of paranoia from his sworn enemies. It can only go so far for him as a Wanted-Nin. And more of his memories started to fill in the blanks before the great catastrophe in Naruto's previous life.
And the heat will be on!
-blukmage19