12. Chunin Exams: Let The Tort- Err, Tests Begin

Story Start: Day Of The First Exam: Uzumaki Household: 6:00

A loud yell sounded through the Uzumaki household before a voice could be heard shouting "Naruto! I'm going to kill you! I don't care if you ARE our clan heir, you are so dead!"

In the kitchen, Naruto looked up from the newspaper he had in front of him and chuckled as he thought 'Bucket of water alarm clock successful.' He then disappeared as one of Rico's katars stabbed through the air where he had just been sitting. A thoroughly soaked Rico looked around the room before he spotted Naruto leaning up against the counter still reading his newspaper.

Rico growled and said "What's the big idea dropping a bucket of water on my bed?"

Naruto shrugged and said "I figured you would want a wake up call so that way you would have plenty of time to get ready for the exam."

Rico scowled and said "So you decided to dump five gallons of water on me? Listen you teme, when I get my hands on you, you'll be in the hospital for a month!" He activated his katars splitting function giving him three blades in each hand instead of one.

But before his clansmen could attempt to murder him, Naruto saw Rachel enter the room at a brisk pace and promptly bopped Rico on the head as she growled out "Rico! Don't talk to Naruto like that! And keep your voice down, you probably woke up the entire village with your yelling."

"Ow! Rachel, don't hit me like that! Besides, he deserves what's coming to him for dumping water on me like that!" Rico shouted earning another hit to the head.

"Actually, it was probably a good idea. Otherwise you might have slept in until lunch time." Reina said as she entered the kitchen and opened the fridge looking for the milk

Rico scowled at his sister but before he could make a retort, Tsunami walked in and said "Just drop it Rico. There is no point trying to start a pointless argument this early in the morning."

Rico's mouth opened and closed as he tried to form an argument against the treatment he was being shown this morning but a pointed glare from his half awake sensei stopped him in his tracks.

Naruto smirked at Rico's misfortune before he said "As entertaining as this is, we really need to get going. You ready Haku?"

Haku, who had seen the entire event play out from his own seat at the table where he had been finishing off a bagel nodded as he stood and said "I'm ready Naruto."

Naruto nodded and said "Then lets go. Remember guys, be at the academy no later than nine." And with those final words of parting, he promptly disappeared while Haku formed a mirror of ice and followed his partner.

Scene Change: Academy

Naruto reappeared in front of the academy. Ten seconds later a mirror of ice appeared and Haku walked out of it before its molecules separated and the mirror turned into vapor that quickly diffused in the morning air. Grinning at Haku, Naruto said "Have fun." Getting a grin in return, Naruto watched as his partner walked into the academy before he disappeared again as he headed to the Hokage tower where a number of Jounin were planning on watching the first exam through a crystal ball that was twenty times bigger than the Hokage's personal one.

Haku meanwhile was making his way to the third floor. While he was on the second, he saw Kotetsu and Izumo cover one of the class signs in a Genjutsu and then henge into younger versions of themselves. Reaching the third floor, Haku walked into room 301 and joined the group of Jounin who were waiting for Ibiki.

Haku joined in the small talk for a few minutes before Ibiki came through the doorway of the connected classroom and said "Alright people, lets go over one more time just what is and isn't acceptable for the maggots to do."

Three hours later, Haku, who had a thin faceted ice mirror in one of the corners of the room, saw Naruto's relatives and their teammate enter the room. The three Whirlpool nins took a quick but thorough stock of their surroundings showing that they knew that this was indeed a competition where they were the minority and most likely first to be targeted for that fact. After their quick scan, the three walked along the wall until they were in the corner on the other side of the wall that the mirror was attached to. Haku noticed that the three Stone teams seemed to pay them the most attention and made a note to be ready to step in if anything got too far out of hand.

Five minutes after that, the Leaf's three rookie teams filed in one after the other with only twenty seconds between them tops. Haku smirked at Sasuke's misfortune of his two biggest fan girls having a tug of war with him. But then a white haired Leaf Genin approached them and showed them a deck of cards causing Haku's eyes to narrow. No ninja worth his Genin rank would give out information to potential enemies. That boy was hiding something and Haku didn't like the fact that he didn't know what it was.

"I see you've noticed it as well." Ibiki said from Haku's side where he was watching the Genin as well.

Haku nodded and said "That one is planning something. Whether it is to use the rookies as meat shields, or to get a read on their mannerisms so he knows what to expect from them, I'm not sure. And it could be something else completely."

Ibiki grunted and the two continued to watch the glasses wearing nin continue to string the rookies along. But then the two saw the team from Sound begin to move through the crowd towards him. Ibiki's eyes narrowed as he and Haku watched the nin avoid a punch from one of the Sound nins only to fall to his knees and release the contents of his stomach.

"I think they've waited long enough." Ibiki growled.

"Yes sir." Haku said before he donned his mask that had had the Mist mark smoothed over and then repainted. Then the two of them and a small number of the Jounin who were with them vanished in shunshins. Reappearing in the room with all the Genin, Ibiki shouted out "That's enough! There is to be no fighting unless we say so. Anyone who does so without our permission will be thrown out of the exams. Am I clear?"

The man got nods from all of the Genin, most of which seemed terrified of the human bear that was glaring at them. Ibiki shot a particularly nasty glare at the Sound team before he held up a card with the number one on it and said "Good, now that we understand each other, pick up one of these numbers, get into the next room and sit down in your seat so I can explain the next test."

There was a large scrabble as the Genin quickly transferred themselves from the waiting room to the testing room. None of them seemed to want to make the bear in front of them angry at them. Once everyone was seated, Ibiki strode to the front of the room with Haku by his side. Turning to face them, he began laying down the rules.

"Alright maggots, listen up, because I'm only going to say the rules once. And no questions either. Now in front of you you'll find a piece of paper. Do not flip it over until I explain all of the rules. Rule number one! Each of you starts out here with ten points. The test has ten questions, each worth one point. For each question you get wrong, we subtract a point from you. Get all ten right, and you retain the ten points you have. But if, for example, you answer three questions incorrectly, we take your ten points.. … subtract one point for every wrong answer… and your total drops down to seven.

Rule number 2... This written test is still a team event. Passing or failing will be determined by the sum of the points held by three members of each cell. The object is for each team to have as few deductions as possible from its joint thirty point total."

Rule Number 3. If, during the course of the exam, a candidate does anything out of the ordinary… …in other words, anything that leads the proctors to determine that he or she has cheated… … we subtract two points from each member of the cheater's team."

"We'll be watching you." One of the Jounin in the middle of the vertical row along the windows said while tapping his clipboard.

"As will I." Haku said before mirrors formed in the room with one in each corner and two on the ceiling. The Genin's stunned murmuring turned to stunned silence when another mirror formed behind Haku and he stepped back and seemed to merge into the mirror causing his image to appear in all of them.

Ibiki gave a dark chuckle and said "Last rule. If any individual loses all ten of his or her points, that person's entire cell, regardless of how the other two members do.. … will be disqualified!"

"But that's unfair!" Sakura shouted with other Genin muttering their agreement.

"Silence!" Ibiki shouted making them all shut up before he said "Those are the rules. If you don't like them, then you and your team can leave now. Now then, you have one hour, get started."

There was the sound of papers flipping before Ibiki and all of the other proctors grinned at the gurgled sounds some of the Genin made.

Grinning to himself, the scarred one thought 'Let the fun begin.'

The next forty five minutes proved interesting for Haku and the other proctors as various Genin found ingenious ways to cheat without being caught. Unfortunately, they had to let the last Uchiha and the few Hyugas in attendance to get by using their dojutsu even if only Hinata tried to hide the fact that she was using it with a minor Genjutsu. Others were much more intriguing in figuring out how they were getting their answers.

The whirlpool nin had each sent chakra through the tables they were sitting at and pushed a thin amount into the other test papers to get their answers. The Sound nin seemed to be actually listening to everyone writing for the answers while the Rock nin appeared to be using the vibrations from all of the people moving pencils across paper to know what to write down. And while most of the other Genin didn't do anything that was really that fancy, some of them came up with some rather unusual methods.

Finally, forty five minutes later, and nearly half the teams caught with their figurative hands in the cookie jar, Ibiki called time as he said "Alright maggots, pencils down, it's time for the final question." As soon as he had everyone's attention, he continued.

"Before we begin, there's a few extra rules you need to be aware of. First off, you must chose whether or not to take the tenth question."

"What? Why would anyone choose to not take the tenth question?" A Sand kunoichi with her hair in four ponytails asked.

Ibiki gained a dark grin as he said "Because of the next rule. If you refuse to take the question, you automatically get a zero on your test regardless of how many points you have and you and your team fails."

"What? Then of course we'll take it! What kind of idiot wouldn't?" Kiba shouted.

Ibiki grinned and said "Someone who also knows the last rule. If you do choose to take it, and get it wrong, then your team's score is brought to zero and you'll never be able to take the exams again. Furthermore, you will be kept at the rank of Genin forever even if you fight in ten shinobi wars."

Haku mentally chuckled at all of the Genin freaking out and thought 'And now we see who really has the strength to go the farthest.' But even as he thought this, teams started dropping out like flies. Sometimes it was just one of the team members deciding that he or she couldn't handle the stress. Other times it was the whole team. One thing Haku noticed though was that the Whirlpool and Rock nins didn't seem to be the least bit worried.

Haku frowned at that wondering if those four teams knew something the others didn't, but before she could ponder it for too long, Ibiki took one last glance around the room and said "It's time for the final question. If any more of you are going to play it safe, then now is the time to leave."

There were a few worried looks, but no one else left. Nodding to himself, Ibiki said "Well then, I guess we'll just get to it then. For those of you who stayed for the tenth question….congratulations, you all passed."

Haku swore he heard crickets outside during the ten seconds of pure silence in the room as the Genin's brains tried to match what they just heard with something they could understand. Sadly, the quiet is always before the storm.

"WHAT?"

That one word was the only one that the proctors understood as the Genin began shooting questions left, right, and center after the collective shout. Ibiki grew a tick mark before he did a few hand signs that the rookie Leaf nin instantly recognized. They were just in time to cover their ears before Ibiki's head grew to truly massive proportions and he shouted out "WELL YOU MAGGOTS SHUT UP!"

Ibiki's head returned to normal proportions and he glared at all of the now silent Genin before he said "Now then, allow me to explain just what this was all about."

Scene Change: One Hour Later: Gate One Access To Forest Of Death

Anko gave another count of the teams in front of her and thought 'Twenty four teams. They've either got balls of gold or Ibiki is getting soft on me. Nah, not possible. If Ibiki was getting soft, he'd have retired by now.' Gaining a grin that scared the Genin even more than Ibiki's did, Anko said "Alright maggots. Welcome to my little home away from home. This here is Training Area 44, although me and the rest of us ACTUAL shinobi like to call it the Forest of Death. Don't worry though, one little run through here and you'll be calling it that as well."

As if to add credence to that statement, a massive roar filled the air causing the trees of the forest to lightly sway as if the massive behemoths of the forest were caught in a rough wind. Anko turned slightly to look over her shoulder with a grin and said "Sounds like the tiger population is doing well."

All of the Genin stared at her as they wondered if she was serious and even more terrifying, how big a tiger must need to be to be able to roar like that.

Anko snapped them out of it as she said "Alright, here's how this exam is going to work. This will be a no holds barred capture the flag battle that will take place for five days, or one hundred and twenty hours. Your 'flags' are these two scrolls." Here Anko reached into her pocket and pulled out two scrolls as she continued. "Each team will be given either a Heaven or an Earth scroll. Your objective is to collect the other scroll and make it to the tower in the center of this forest before five days is up. Each team will get one scroll for three of these waivers." She put the scrolls back and took out some waivers from a pocket that was sewed to the inside of her coat. "The Leaf village isn't responsible if you die in there or not, hence the waivers. You have thirty minutes for you and your team mates to sign that form and to get a scroll from that booth by the fence. Think carefully before you sign because you are putting more than your ninja career on the line if you decide to go into that forest. Any questions?"

"Yeah! What about food?" Chouji shouted.

Anko smirked and said "There's plenty of nature's bounty in the forest. Just be careful what you eat, cuz there's also plenty of nature's wrath in there as well."

Chouji slumped over as Anko said "Now if there's no more questions, start signing!"

Thirty minutes later, all of the teams had signed their forms and were heading to their gates. A Waterfall team stayed behind near Gate One, but otherwise it was just Anko and the three Chunin who had been sitting in the booth. Deciding to indulge herself in one of her vices while she waited to send the poor Genin into her favorite place in the village, the snake summoner made a mud clone and gave it some money before sending it to get her some dango.

The clone got back ten minutes later, just in time for Anko to begin the exam. Taking the bag of dango and cup of red bean soup from the clone, she dispelled it and set her treat on the booth's counter, sending a small glare at the Chunin there warning them not to touch. She then grabbed the handheld microphone that was hanging from one of the walls and clicked it on.

From speakers positioned on all forty four gates, Anko's voice gained all of the teams' attention as she said "Alright maggots, the second exam begins, NOW!" Forty four gates all opened at once and the teams rushed into the forest as the Chunin closed the gates after them and proceeded to lock them with chains that were held together with three padlocks.

Thirty minutes later, Anko was laying on the top of the shack putting the finishing touches of the Hidden Leaf symbol she was making in a nearby tree with her dango sticks when a Chunin suddenly appeared in a shunshin. Turning her head to look at him, she saw the serious look he had and said "What is it?"

The Chunin gave a brief salute before he said "I need you to come with me ma'am. Bodies of a team that is taking this exam were just found. Outside of the training area."

Anko frowned before she leapt off the roof and landed next to him and said "Lead the way."

The Chunin led her to a small ring of Buddha's that was a ten minute walk from the training area. Inside the ring were two more Chunin looking down at three bodies. As Anko walked into the ring she saw blood on some of the Buddha's with one's front almost completely covered in the stuff.

Shaking her head, she said "That is no way to treat a Buddha."

"I said the exact same thing." One of the Chunin said before motioning to the three bodies and said "We called you as soon as we learned that they were supposed to be in the exams. Also, there's something wrong with their faces. It's like they never existed."

Anko's eyes narrowed as she gently moved one of the bodies so that she could see what the man was talking about. When she saw the face, or rather the lack of one, her eyes widened before they narrowed instantly. Turning to one of the Chunin, she said "You have their Ids right?"

The Chunin nodded and handed her the three Ninja Passports that contained all of their information. Flipping it open, Anko let out a curse before she slapped it shut and said "Shit, they're already in the forest! You, go get the Hokage and tell him his old student's in the forest. Let him also know that I've gone ahead. You go find Uzumaki and tell him that I need him to head to the forest and search every inch of it for a person with the same chakra as my curse seal. And I want you to go to the NCIS team and have them check this crime scene for anything we missed." (NCIS: Ninja Criminal Investigation Squad is an idea of EroSlackerMicha's)

Each Chunin saluted before they rushed off to carry out their orders. Once she was relatively alone, Anko frowned at the bodies and thought 'What are you planning you bastard?' Shaking her head, she then turned back to the forest and rushed towards a confrontation with a demon of her past.

Scene Change: Uzumaki Compound

Naruto was currently taking advantage of the peace and quiet that was so rare in his household nowadays by checking all of the seals that resided in the perimeter of his house. As he checked one particularly nasty seal in a tree that was at seven o'clock in relation to the front door, he said "What is it?"

The nearby Chunin, who wisely was staying out of the ring of trees, gave a quick salute and said "There have been intruders in the Second Exam. Anko said she wanted you to search the forest and look for someone who had the same chakra as the one in her curse seal."

Naruto's head snapped around so fast the Chunin actually heard it crack a little. Naruto looked at the Chunin with dead serious eyes as he said "Is that really what she said? Word for word?"

The Chunin nodded, barely getting his head down an inch before Naruto was gone.

Scene Change: Forest OF Death

Anko stared at her old traitor of a master from where she was standing in a tree across from him as she tried to stall the sick man. "So what are you doing here? Surely something as lowly as participating in a Chunin exam is beneath you." She said.

"Ku Ku Ku, true, but it's not the exam that interests me, but the participants. One in particular is very interesting. Young Sasuke will allow me to go far with my plans." Orochimaru said.

Anko frowned but before she could say anything to that remark, Orochimaru's eyes widened before a kunai was suddenly in his chest with a blond jinchuriki holding the Kunai's handle in a reverse grip. Orochimaru continued to stare in shock for a few more seconds before he suddenly grinned and melted into a big clump of mud.

Naruto disappeared and reappeared next to Anko with a frown on his face as he said "Damn, I thought for sure I had gotten the real one."

"Ku Ku Ku, my, what speed. If I hadn't reacted instantly to my instincts and switched with a mud clone than that could have been VERY painful." Orochimaru said as he came out of the trunk of the tree his clone had been standing on. Naruto frowned at him as he put his kunai away before his hands became coated in chakra as he formed half ram signs and held his arms loosely by his sides. Orochimaru rose an amused eyebrow as he said "Oh? Do you really think that you stand a chance against a Sannin when you no longer have the element of surprise?"

Naruto cocked his own eyebrow before he disappeared. Orochimaru gained a confused look as he and Anko felt so much chakra surround them it was actually slightly visible.

"There are four degrees of burns. First, Second, Third, and Fourth. Let's go with Fourth Degree."

Orochimaru and Anko looked around at the sound of Naruto's voice that seemed to come from all around before a massive Fourth Degree burn as wide as Naruto's hand suddenly appeared across the White Snake's chest. Before Orochimaru could even register the pain, another burn just as wide crossed the first burn making a large x. Then both of his arms were left with thin burns going down their sides. Only then did the enemy begin to feel the extreme amounts of pain.

As Orochimaru gritted his teeth to force himself not to scream, another burn appeared running straight down his back with another running across before the first was even done forming. Then he was reacquainted with a different kind of pain as the blonde reappeared in front of him with his foot already in the side of his opponent's face. As Orochimaru went flying towards the end of the branch, Naruto's hands disappeared before they reappeared a second later in the bird sign while Naruto drew in a massive breath before exhaling with a shout of "Wind Style: Wind Senbon!"

Hundreds of invisible senbon needles made of wind shot out of the blonde's mouth at impossible speeds and tore through Orochimaru's body. However, when the body landed at the very end of the branch, it lost all similarities to a human body as it caved in on itself and was revealed to be a mud clone. Naruto's eyes narrowed at the mass of mud as he softly cursed under his breath.

"Damn it, when did he make the switch? I didn't even detect it. Where is that bastard?"

Naruto's chakra mist suddenly turned into a chakra fog as the blond tried to locate his target. Anko meanwhile was just staring at her comrade in disbelief as she thought 'He actually forced him to retreat? I know he's an elite Jounin for a reason but still.'

Meanwhile, Orochimaru was currently making his way out of dodge underground. He finally felt that he was far enough away when he came to the last 'ring' of trees before the fence. Pulling himself out of the ground, the snake winced at the burns across his upper body and arms hitting open air. Looking back into the forest he frowned and thought 'That boy is dangerous. I will need to make plans so that he doesn't interfere with my goals.' He then turned back to the fence before seeming to melt back into the ground as he left the area to nurse his wounds.

AND CUT!

I know I could go a little bit further but that just seems like the perfect place to stop. A little short I know but hopefully the next chapter will make up for it.