Kensi feels great. It's been five weeks since she was injured, four weeks since she left the hospital, and she's feeling like herself. She actually had someone come and clean her rental to surprise Deeks and she's eagerly awaiting his arrival in San Diego for a three-day weekend. They've been texting all the time and talking at night, but it isn't the same. When she hears the knock, she's surprised he's early, but bounds to it as quickly as she's supposed to go.
Opening the door, she looks out where his face should be and sees nothing. Her eyes travel down until she finds the indomitable Hetty Lange.
"Hello, Ms. Blye," she says, and Kensi freezes, not knowing what to do. She realizes there's no avoiding the conversation that needs to happen, and opens the door wide, wordlessly inviting Hetty inside.
Without asking, Kensi moves briefly to the kitchen and starts to boil water. It's too early for scotch and Kensi doesn't think she has any. Hetty wasn't a visitor she remotely expected or prepared for.
"It's been a while, Kensi, hasn't it?"
"Five months or so," Kensi says, nodding in agreement.
"And you look good."
"Almost back at full strength," Kensi comments. "Strength is good, range of motion is good. Working stamina now. It feels … good," she says, struggling to find another word.
"We are all so grateful you are recovering so well."
There's awkward talk about the weather. Kensi asks how traffic was and Hetty says she came by helicopter. Of course she did. They exhaust pleasantries and Kensi gets tired of waiting.
"What can I do for you, Hetty?" Kensi asks while pouring the tea. She puts a glass in front of her former boss and sits, comfortable in the silence while she waits for Hetty to show a card. She doesn't want to be rude, but Hetty could have seen her at the hospital in LA if she just wanted to visit.
"Can't I stop by just to see how you are?" Hetty asks innocently, but Kensi isn't buying it and Hetty is too savvy not to know that. Kensi ignores the question that is intended to be charming and disarming, and stays silent, compelling Hetty to continue. Her tone changes from conversational to focused.
"Would it have mattered?" Hetty asks her former agent. "If I'd apologized that day, would it have mattered?"
"It's the only thing that would have mattered" Kensi tells her.
"And what if I say it now? Would it fix this; bridge this gap between you and the OSP team?"
"Apologies don't work that way Hetty. You don't say, if I apologize would I get what I want, and then if the other party says yes you go ahead and do it. Apologies involve a certain amount of uncertainty. Part of the act of contrition is being sorry no matter the reaction."
"Then I'm sorry, Kensi. If I had it to do over, I'd have found another way."
"Because you think you were wrong not to trust me, or because of how not trusting me turned out?"
"Does that matter?" Hetty asks enigmatically.
"It does to me, Hetty," Kensi says honestly with sadness in her voice. She doesn't want them to sorry because she left, she wants them to be sorry for not having faith in her.
"I'm sorry that we left you on the outside. We shouldn't have done that."
"Thank you."
"And knowing that, you should also know that there is always a home for you at NCIS."
If Kensi didn't expect the visit, then the invitation was unimaginable. Her heart leaps at the words, but she steadies herself. She remembers sitting with Hetty five months ago pouring out her heart and Hetty using is for her own purposes. She hears Hetty's voice question why Deeks' departure was so hard. She remembers Hetty tell her that if it was more than just the work partnership maybe it's best that he's gone.
Kensi cringes inside recalling the moment. If Hetty had seen some inkling of a spark between Kensi and Deeks and then used the op as a way to warn against it - that was an added level of cruel. Kensi knew Hetty was a woman of layers and landmines, but that interaction was hard to shake -only made harder by Kensi's current situation.
"I think maybe too much has changed," Kensi tells her mentor. She can't hide the regret in her voice.
"Like what?" Hetty asks her. "They anticipate you making a full recovery, do they not? Your skills are undiminished, your passion for justice is still intact."
The 'like what' sounded innocent enough, but Kensi knew better. Hetty probably already knew that she and Deeks were ... involved. And Kensi wasn't interested in acting like she had something to hide. "Deeks and I are figuring some things out, and you made it clear that day that you don't think it's a good idea. So even if coming back was on my mind, I don't know how that would work unless you had a change of heart."
Hetty took the last sip of her tea.
"Well, I appreciate your candor, Ms. Blye. And it is so good to see you so… strong. In many, many ways," she adds, heavy with meaning. Hetty makes her way to the door. "Next time you are in Los Angeles let's talk again."
Kensi watches Hetty walk out the door and down the steps. Her eyes follow Hetty down the street, and she's momentarily conflicted at having turned down the chance to come back. It took almost five months to get over the anger and the hurt, and now she just misses her family.
Deeks arrives later in the day, closer to when he is expected. The two week gap in laying his eyes on her sharpen the contrast from then to now, and he's stuck with awe, pride, and gratitude at how great she looks. Her stance is strong, her movement steady, and her smile is everything. He wants so much to make this more – more than visits a couple of weekends a month. More than a long-distance thing that isn't defined. It makes him feel like it's casual, and that's the last word he would use to describe how he feels about her, but he isn't sure she's ready for more and last time she ran it nearly killed him.
When the conversation turns to dinner, he tells her he has a plan. She asks him when he wants to go and he says she has to get ready.
"Ready?" she asks. She stands and looks herself up and down. "Am I not ready?"
"You need to get dressed up," Deeks tells her.
"I'm not putting the pirate costume on," she tells him sternly.
"Aha!" he says. "I knew you still had it. But no, that isn't what I meant. I have plans downtown," he informs her.
"Oh really? Maybe I had plans at home tonight you would enjoy," she says suggestively.
He laughs. "Maybe. Probably," he concedes, "but you're doing so well, and your recovery is almost complete, and I thought that sounded like a great excuse to get dressed up and go someplace nice."
"Fish tacos are nice," she protests.
"They are, and maybe they have some where we're going, but I already made reservations at Coasterra to eat on the patio by the water and you need to get changed if we are going to make it."
When they regroup in thirty minutes he is in dress pants and a button down. She rarely sees him that put together if they aren't undercover. Weren't undercover, she reminds herself. Still, she likes the idea that he did it for her, and she certainly likes how he looks. She's in a version of the little black dress, this one a wrap around with cap sleeves and a high slit where the wrap crosses over. In her only concession to her recent wounds she chooses shoes that aren't four inch heals like she wants them to be, but high enough to shape her legs and make her feel sexy.
They Uber to the restaurant. He doesn't want her to drive, and he wants them both to feel free to drink and relax under the stars. It's an easy trip and the conversation is light, and it helps Kensi shake the discussion with Hetty from earlier in the day. The last bit of the ride downtown is along the water, and her attention is out the window. Her expression is indecipherable to him.
"What's going through that mind of yours?"
"Been a while since I went out on the town, that's all," she tells him as they get out of the car.
"You must go out with the team down here a fair amount," he guesses.
He takes her hand and they walk towards the door.
"Not really," she tells him in honesty. "A little with Dave and Julie at first, but they go out less and less now. And we travel a lot. I'm sure you guys are tearing up LA, though – dinners and bars and karaoke." It leads to a rare momentary display of self-pity. "I bet when I left the team didn't miss a beat."
"Don't do that," Deeks tells her. He says it gently, his hand never leaving hers. He says it in love, but he says it. He stops her and turns her just a little so she is looking right in his eyes. "First, you told me not to let you feel sorry for yourself. And second, I get why you left. It destroyed me. It gutted that team. We hurt you and you needed distance, but they didn't move on without you by choice. Every one of them would have been at your doorstep to explain, every one of them would have moved heaven and earth to change your mind. You didn't give us that chance. And that's ok. You got to make that choice, but you can't act like that they were the ones that left you."
She nods. She steadies her face as a tear forms in her eye. "I think I missed my window for putting it all back together," she says, the sadness hanging around the edge of her words. She blows a breath through her lips and uses her fingers to save her eye makeup. They continue into the restaurant.
"I think if you gave people a chance, they'd surprise you." He says it for encouragement. He says it because it's true.
"Really?" She's almost afraid to hope he's right.
"Really." He kisses her hand as he holds it in his.
The hostess opens the door leading to the patio. It's a beautiful night and Kensi has actually embraced the idea of having a romantic dinner for two by the water. She can't even remember the last time she went on an actual date. She crosses into the fresh air only to be met abruptly by sea of familiar faces.
"SURPRISE!"