A week passes and James has not seen or heard anything from Lily. He'd be lying if he denied waiting around for three days after his return to Sunbury for Lily to show up at his doorstep. He's not sure what he was expecting. That the letter he sent with Marlene might help her realize that perhaps she is in love with him too? Or that she can't live without him either?
But that thin thread of hope was all for naught. Now, he is holed up in his office, sitting in his black leather swivel chair and staring at the wall instead of his mahogany desk. Facing the desk would mean having a clear line of sight out of the large picture window, which would be far too tempting to look out and check Mona's home for any activity or, more specifically, any sign of a certain redhead.
A knock on the door startles James, but he doesn't bother turning around. If he ignores the sound, maybe they'll go away. He doesn't feel like talking to anyone right now.
"Mr. Potter?" Filius's voice is squeakier than usual through the closed door. "Mr. Potter, you have a—"
"I'm not accepting visitors. Send them away," James growls. He doesn't mean to take out his sour mood on the butler, but alas, he's had little control over his emotions this past week.
He scrunches his face into a scowl when he hears the doorknob turn and click.
I swear if it's my mother, or worse, Regulus…
"It's fine, Fil." Sirius's voice filters into the room as the door shuts with a firm thud behind him.
James slowly swivels the chair around to face his best friend, the only person he cares to tolerate right now.
"Bloody hell, Prongs, you look like hell."
Leave it to Sirius to cut straight to the point. James is sure it's obvious given the heavy bags under his eyes that sleep has been evading him. At first, he thought that it was simply because he couldn't sleep in his bed at Peverell—the one he shared with Lily for one glorious night. After she left, he spent the entire night tossing and turning in the king-size bed, wondering if he was making a mistake by not going after her.
But then he'd returned home, where Lily's never been anywhere near his bedroom. Every time he lay down to attempt a decent night's rest, images of Lily in that gorgeous gown tormented his thoughts. Over and over she ran away from him. Even when he did manage to fall asleep, nightmares of her laughing in his face woke him in a cold sweat. So, he resorted to spending hours staring at the ceiling, too dejected to do anything else in the meantime.
"Thanks for stating the obvious, mate."
"You still haven't heard from her then?" Sirius takes a seat in one of the plush chairs on the opposite side of James's desk.
James shakes his head.
"Marlene seems to think she'll come around—"
"It's been a week, Pads. If she were going to reach out, she'd have done so already."
"Maybe she needs time."
"Time for what? She made it abundantly clear how she feels about me." James averts his gaze and stares at the stack of paperwork on his desk that he's been avoiding.
What Sirius says next takes James by surprise. "But that was before the letter."
James's head snaps up to look at his best friend. "Is this how it's going to be now?"
"Sod off, Prongs. I'm trying to be sympathetic here, but you're making it hard to do so. I'm offended you didn't tell me about the letter in the first place."
"The letter was meant to be a private statement for Lily's eyes only. But I needed someone to deliver it, and Marlene was the only one I could trust. If I gave it to Remus, I'd risk Dora finding out, and she doesn't need to know about that."
"If you're implying that I know about its contents, you're mistaken. Marlene only told me you asked her to deliver it, which she did. From what I gather, Lily hasn't uttered a word about it, so neither Marlene nor Remus know if she read it or not." Sirius shrugs.
"Well, even if she did, it hasn't seemed to make an impact on her."
"You don't know that."
"I do, though, Padfoot."
"And what's stopping you from marching over to Mona's right now to see her?"
"I gave my word that I wouldn't grace her with my presence again. Her silence says more than words can. It's over, Sirius."
His best friend sighs, no doubt trying to find the right words to reassure James. "You know, it's been a while since you've been in a serious relationship. Maybe it was just lust—"
"No. It was love—is love. I love her, Sirius. Her rejection of my proposal doesn't change that."
Sirius doesn't respond right away and James doesn't press him. The only sound that fills the room beside the crackle of burning wood in the fireplace and the light patter of rain hitting the windowpane is an audible exhale that Sirius breathes out.
"So, you really proposed then?"
"I did."
"And she said no?"
"She did."
"So, what's next? Assuming you're sticking your ground and refusing to go after her."
A wry smile faintly curls at the corners of James's lips. Leave it to Sirius to understand him well enough to know he has a plan.
"I've given her a week, mate. I can't stay here any longer, seeing Mona's house out my office window, knowing she's so close, yet so far away."
"Does this have anything to do with your request for me to stay here and keep an eye on Dora for an indeterminate amount of time?"
"It does."
Sirius stares at James for a long moment, no doubt deciding carefully on his next—and quite possibly last—question. "Care to spare any further details?"
"I'm leaving tomorrow."
On the first plane out of Heathrow.
Lily
The days that follow Lily's sudden return from Peverell blend together as she does her best to put one foot in front of the other. She spends sunrise to sundown at the bakery, working herself to the brink of exhaustion. It's the only way she can put herself to sleep at night.
Between baking confections for the display case and practicing for patisserie week, Lily does her best to avoid thinking about James—and fails miserably. Every time the door to the shop opens and the bell rings to signify a customer's entrance, she can't help looking through the window to see if it's him.
The sympathetic glances Remus and Mona cast in her direction are not lost on her either, but she does her best to ignore them. She's thankful for their company throughout the day to help her get by, and they field Heather's questions when she notices Lily isn't her usual peppy self.
When James neither visits Puff's Pastries nor calls on Mona's house by the following Saturday, Lily realizes he's staying true to his word, breaking her heart even further into tiny shards. The last ray of hope she holds for running into him lies in the semi-finals of London's Next Great Baker, but unfortunately, he doesn't show up there either.
The distraction almost jeopardizes her spot in the competition. Her choux buns are slightly overbaked and the presentation of her raspberry religieuse is sloppy. Thankfully, she delivers on the taste of her lavender and lemon fondant fancies, capturing the flavors of spring in her bite-size delicacies. The success earns her a spot in the finals, though her heart is no longer in the contest. If she didn't need the prize money so desperately, she'd have withdrawn altogether.
And so, she carries on with another week. Only this time, she's down one less distraction. The final challenges in the competition are a surprise, so there is nothing that Lily can practice and prepare for.
When she arrives home Thursday evening, Mona and Marlene are waiting for her in the kitchen, as is their latest routine. But to Lily's surprise, they aren't alone. Usually, Remus occupies the third stool, but he's out on a date with Dora. Tonight, Aurora Sinistra fills his space.
"Ms. Sinistra? I didn't know you were stopping by tonight. Is everything all right with the case?" Lily looks from her lawyer to Mona, who seems just as surprised as her.
"Yes, Lily, everything's fine. More than fine, actually." Aurora's eyes are shining with excitement. "I debated calling or asking you to come into the office, but the news I have to share wouldn't be fitting for either setting."
"Wh-what do you mean?" Nerves continue to flutter in Lily's stomach as her heart beats out of her chest.
The anticipation threatens to send Lily into a tailspin as she waits with bated breath. Has a trial date been set? Has Sev come forward with new 'evidence' against her that she can't fight? Is this the moment where Aurora says she's sorry but there's nothing more she can do to help her with this case? There's a good chance Lily might burst from the suspense when the older woman's face erupts in a wide smile, crow's feet prevalent behind her half-moon spectacles as she slides a manila envelope across the table.
"Mr. Snape's lawyer contacted me this morning."
Lily holds her breath, trying to keep down the bile that's threatening to come up. "And?" she asks, her voice shaking with hesitance.
Aurora pauses and looks around the island. "Oh, forgive me. Would you rather we speak in private?"
"No, no. Mona and Marlene know everything anyway. Please tell me what's going on."
"Severus has decided to drop all charges against you."
"WHAT?!" A chorus of voices shouts at the same time.
Mona covers her mouth in shock as Marlene slams her hands on the counter, leaning forward in eager anticipation of more information. Lily, on the other hand, remains frozen in place, staring at the envelope in front of her.
"I could go on and give you more information, but I think you'd rather read the details for yourself," Aurora explains. "I know I could have mailed this to you, but forgive me for wanting to share in this small victory."
"I don't believe it," Lily whispers. She reaches out to lift the envelope, fingers trembling as she takes her time unclasping the metal latch and slips out the short stack of paper it contains.
"Well, what are you waiting for, Lils? What's it say?" Marlene presses, her impatience winning.
Lily's eyes flit over the official stationery.
Dear Miss Evans,
On behalf of my client, Severus Snape, I am writing to inform you that all charges against you have been dropped, effective immediately.
Let it be known for the official record that Mr. Snape requested a meeting on Tuesday morning, the thirtieth of March, and during that time, he made it clear that the charges he accused you of were false claims. Severus admitted that he came onto you, and threatened your investment deal if you did not agree to his terms of pursuing a relationship.
The final contract he drew up that included these terms is attached for your records as it was made evident to me after the fact that you never received a copy before you were asked to sign.
In addition to revoking all charges, Mr. Snape will be reimbursing you for any legal expenses you incurred, as well as any and all funds that were agreed upon during your partnership. A sum of £150,000 has been wired to your lawyer, who will then transfer the monies to you.
Finally, the storefront that you and Severus were set to rent is still available and has been set aside in your name. Should you choose to rent the space for your business, the first three months have been paid for by an anonymous donor.
If you have any questions, please do not hesitate to reach out directly or through your lawyer. We apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused.
Sincerely,
Gilderoy Lockhart
Attorney at Law
"No friggin way," Marlene breathes out.
Lily reads the letter two more times, letting the words sink in before she can manage to look up. When she does, her eyes flit to Mona, then Aurora, searching the latter's eyes for the truth. She can't help but be skeptical or assume that it is all a joke.
"Is this real?"
Aurora nods. "As real as the stars in the night sky. I was just as shocked as you are when Gilderoy called me. He is not one to accept defeat easily, so I don't reckon he enjoyed drafting this letter. The money's already been wired into the law office's account. I have the paperwork here for you to fill out and I can get the money dropped into your bank account first thing in the morning."
The lawyer's words are barely sinking in as Lily blinks back the tears. "I can't believe it. What would make Sev change his mind?"
"Who cares? Lils, this is better than anything you could have hoped for!" Marlene hops off her stool and walks around the island to place an arm around Lily's shoulder, wrapping her in a tight squeeze. "Rem is going to be so mad he missed this!"
"And now you'll be able to work together and open that bakery in Belfast just like you'd always hoped," Mona adds. "I'll admit, I was hoping you'd want to stay and take over Puff's Pastries, but how can you pass up this opportunity?"
But is any of that what I want now?
The longer she's stayed in London, the more it's beginning to feel like home. Even with someone securing the Belfast location for her dream bakery, Lily's not sure if that's what she wants anymore.
Aurora chuckles, bringing Lily out of her thoughts. "I'd say she has a plethora of opportunities ahead of her now. And don't you dare worry about owing me anything. Either of you." The lawyer's gaze passes between Lily and Mona. "For a case to end like that, you owe me nothing. Stick it to the creep by keeping all that money for yourself."
"Oh, no, Aurora, I couldn't—"
"Nonsense! I've made up my mind. Now, Mona, do you have any champagne? I think this calls for a celebration!"
Giggles erupt from the women as Mona bustles around the kitchen to dish out snacks and Marlene grabs champagne flutes. For the first time since running away from Peverell, Lily's instilled with a new sense of hope, belonging, and purpose. A million questions race through her mind, but she tamps them down, determined to bask in the victory of Severus backing down. If only James were here to celebrate too...
Lily plops down on the window seat in her bedroom, a spot she's become well acquainted with in the evenings as of late. Why did she have to think his name as Marlene popped the champagne? She'd been doing so well until now.
Really? Are we just going to ignore the fact that you carry his letter with you everywhere? Or how you're so distracted at the bakery because you're moping around and hoping he'll walk through the door?
Okay, maybe that was a little white lie.
Lily pulls the worn letter out of her pocket, unfolding the fragile creases to drag her fingertips over the long-set ink. For over a week, she willed his promise to stay away to be untrue. Small bouts of hope that he'd show up at the shop, or at Mona's door to see how she's doing. And yet, his stony silence remains.
Her gaze drifts to the window, observing the quiet street that's blanketed in darkness. James's house is dark, the silhouette vaguely visible from the lone street light that flickers under the stars.
"It's okay to admit that you miss him, dear."
Lily jumps, looking to the door where Mona stands with a cup of tea. She pads into the room, setting the cup on Lily's nightstand before sitting on the edge of the bed.
"Have you tried reaching out to him at all?"
"No, I—I'm probably the last person he wants to hear from."
The words hang heavy in the air. It's one thing to think them in the privacy of her mind, but speaking them out loud opens the opportunity for others to confirm her thoughts.
"Or perhaps you've got it all wrong." Lily can feel Mona staring at her, but she doesn't take her eyes off the window, which prompts the older woman to go on. "Have you considered that he's giving you space? I may not know all the details of what went on at Peverell, but it seems to me as though you two still have more to talk about."
Lily forces herself to smile in appreciation of Mona's advice, but it doesn't mask the ever-present sadness she feels. "I messed up, Mona. I'm not sure there's a way to fix this."
She suddenly feels so much lighter now, having spoken the thought that's threatened to consume her since first reading his letter. Her stubbornness led her to push away his declaration of love, determined to believe that it was something it's not. But the more she reads the letter and pairs it with the memories of James's gentle touch and protective nature, Lily realizes how wrong she is.
The earlier celebrations are now forgotten as a fresh wave of tears well up in her eyes. She's so fixated by her thoughts that she doesn't hear Mona get up and cross the room. The older woman places a hand on her shoulder, drawing Lily into a reassuring hug.
"You won't know for sure unless you try, dear." Mona gives her one more squeeze before retreating to the door. "Drink up and get some rest. I'll see you in the morning."
Lily offers a grateful smile. "Thank you, Mona."
When the door shuts, leaving her in solitude again, Lily picks up her cell phone and unlocks it. She thumbs through her contacts absent-mindedly. What if Mona's right? What if James is waiting for her to come to him and she's been so stupid to think staying away is the only option.
Her thumb hovers over the screen above his name until she presses the small chat bubble that takes her to her text messages. The ensuing screen comes up blank since she'd deleted all their previous texts on her way back from Peverell, and now the white screen seems almost too imposing. She takes a deep breath and begins typing.
Lily: Can we talk?
No, that doesn't feel right.
She erases the message and tries again.
Lily: I miss you.
Erase, erase, erase.
"Ugh, why is this so hard?" Lily tosses the phone down and rests her head on her knees.
They haven't spoken in nearly a fortnight. She can't send a text and hope for the best. After everything that's happened, she at least owes him a face-to-face meeting.
It's a crazy idea, but Lily finds herself standing up, checking the alarm clock, and deciding that nine o'clock isn't too late for someone to call—especially if that someone is trying to make up with the person they love.
Love.
"I'm in love with James." Lily clasps her hands over her mouth.
Once the realization sinks in and Lily's able to unglue herself from the floor, she trips over the bed in a mad rush to get to the closet, throwing on a sweatshirt and hurling herself out the door and down the stairs. She pulls on the nearest shoes she can find, forgetting to tie them properly as she trips out the door. She cuts across the street, her feet slipping in and out of her shoes as she sets off at a run.
Please don't let me be too late. Please, please, please.
As she approaches his doorstep, Lily is met with the sudden urge to abandon the decision to see him. Doubts flood her mind and her feet become heavier as they make the final trudges to his front door. It would be easy to turn and run away, but there's a stronger part of her that wants to see this through, to make things right.
She knocks on the door, breath hitching in her throat as she waits. It feels like an eternity until a light turns on and the heavy oak door opens with a loud creak. All her hope is wiped away when she looks up and it's not James staring back at her.
"Red?"
"S-Sirius? What are you—is James here?"
This was a stupid idea. A stupid, STUPID idea.
She's not sure what she's waiting for. Maybe for Sirius to tell her he's in the kitchen? Or his office? But the look on Sirius's face tells her she's not going to be so lucky to receive that kind of response. He lifts his arm and leans it on the door jamb, rubbing his forehead as he shakes his head.
"He's not here, Red."
No…
"As in, he's out for the evening?" Even as the words leave her lips, Lily knows the answer.
"No. Didn't Marlene tell you? Or Remus?" It's clear Sirius doesn't want to be the bearer of bad news.
"Sirius? Who's at the door? James isn't back yet, is he?" Dora's voice echoes through the foyer. Sirius pushes the door open a little wider to reveal Lily as the late-night caller. "Lily?!"
Lily feels her face flush and she's sure her cheeks are flushed—and not just from her rush to get there. "Er, hi Dora."
"It's about time you showed up!" The younger girl throws her arms around Lily, kickstarting a new wave of guilt over the way she's acted.
"Is he really not here?" she manages to choke out.
"No. He left on Monday." Dora stares at the floor instead of Lily as she answers her question.
"When will he—"
"We don't know, Red," Sirius bites out, "he didn't exactly give a timeline."
Maybe she should have texted first. She fumbles around her pockets, looking for the device she left behind in her haste to get to James's.
"He left his phone here, so he won't get any messages you try to send, either."
Lily stops shuffling around and looks up, matching Sirius's hardening gaze with her own. "So, what am I supposed to do? Sit around and hope he comes home eventually?"
"It's a small price to pay given you made him wait this long, isn't it?" Sirius shrugs.
"I didn't—you don't know what you're talking about! You weren't there!"
"Actually, Red, I was in the ballroom. We all were. And I may not have been in the room where you two talked after, but I saw how torn up James was after you left. So forgive me if I don't have much patience."
Lily steps back and collapses against one of the large pillars that hold up the porch's roof. She can't blame Sirius for responding like this. It shouldn't have taken her this long to come to her senses. Maybe her showing up now is just going to make things worse.
"You're right. He clearly left because he doesn't want anything more to do with me. I missed my window." Her voice is hollow, all the hope she'd mustered moments ago blowing away with the light breeze that chills her to the bone.
"Lily…" Dora looks up at her with sadness in her eyes, but she doesn't say anything else.
"I'm sorry for bothering you. And for calling so late. Please forget I was ever here."
She turns, not waiting for a response, walking dejectedly back to Mona's. Sirius will most likely tell Marlene about her late-night call, and Remus will find out from Dora. But Lily hopes that they'll keep her visit from James if and when he does return.
He must be trying to move on, and despite Lily's poor timing, she knows she should respect that and let him go. As she cries herself to sleep, Lily wills herself to do her best to think of the future and make a plan for what comes next. Just because she's lost James doesn't mean she has to lose London too. She may have been too late to win James back, but she refuses to waste any more opportunities.