The next week goes by relatively quickly. I can't say working with Granger is an experience I enjoy, I'm always far too nervous for that and she's far too hesitant with me to have a real conversation but I don't think we've been as disastrous together as both of us assumed we would be. In fact, Granger even asked me to partner with her in two other classes, citing the fact that the rest of the class are all as thick as broomsticks. Anyways, we're trying to accomplish the same thing, remember? I had readily agreed because she was right, despite our history we were the obvious choice for partners. And I couldn't complain as uncomfortable as I was around her she was still incredibly bright. It also helps to get Phae off my back. Though Phae can't seem to go a single day without telling me something horrible about Hermione or making some snarky comment about our partnership. For the most part I avoid Phae but recently she hasn't been as terrible. She's the only one this entire year who has attempted to be my friend and she's stuck up for me a few times in class, against students and even against one particularly obnoxious professor. Anyways, I can't help but always thinking that Phae is the person I would be if the whole Potter extravaganza hadn't plagued my years at Hogwarts. To a degree she interests me because of that, as if I want to see my whole future play out in front of me, just with different possibilities.

This particular night is damp and humid and I can feel both my own sweat and the fog that hangs in the atmosphere stick to my clothing as I fly. I've always been good at flying and in first year I'd even tried out for the Quidditch team. I hadn't made it and in second year I was going to try out again until Draco stood up and announced that his father had bought him and the new team those broomsticks. There were no try outs that year. Draco had apologized to me hundreds of times saying that he thought there would have still been tryouts for my position. I knew he was completely honest and the fact that he was so bothered by it made me feel worse than not actually making the team.

He felt terrible and so did I, but I never tried out again. Somehow, it just would have been embarrassing. But here I am an eighth year student thinking of doing it over, humiliation and all. My father taught me how to fly and whenever I do it I think of him with me in our backyard chasing me around the gardens. My love for my father has been transformed into a profound missing, not for him exactly, but for that very love which he gave me and somehow I know I'll never get again. Maybe that's all this flying is, an attempt to be closer to him, but at the same time there is something else that holds me to flying - my own love for it.

I eventually dismount on the ground and watch the sky for a moment before turning around to head back into the castle. All of a sudden I hear a cry behind me and look back to see a figure approaching.

"I didn't know you flew." Granger's voice rings out.

"Don't all wizards and witches fly?' I ask in monotone.

She laughs softly even though I hadn't meant it to be funny. It somehow calms me, her thinking my words were meant to be light.

"I don't. Hate it."

"Why are you out here then?"

"Oh." She looks surprised I asked that question but I just wrap my arms around my broomstick and wait for her to answer. "It's nostalgic I guess. Makes me remember people and friends and just all of it I guess. All of it before."

She glances cautiously and I nod as if telling her to go on.

"I mean it's better now obviously with Voldemort gone." I flinch at the word but she doesn't seem to notice. "We were just waiting for this all to happen in a way I guess, but still, I just miss those kids in flying class with Madame Pomfret you know? I miss us all like that."

"Reckless." I say raising my eyebrows.

She laughs again and this time I smile.

"I distinctly remember Potter chasing Draco around the entire school over a glass ball."

She shakes her head, "That's what I miss though. When the worse thing Draco could think to do to someone was steal a glass ball and the bravest thing Harry had to do was catch it."

I must be looking at her strangely because she quickly drops her gaze to the ground. "Sorry. Just when we were getting along."

"We still are." She looks up at me and I smile reassuringly.

She looks up at the sky as if remembering that moment from first year and I follow her gaze. We stand there for a few moments just looking up until she breaks the silence.

"We should head back inside." She starts walking but before I can stop myself I blurt out,

"Do you remember the first time you walked in?" I blush when I speak the words and it's her turn to look at me strangely.

"To hogwarts?"

I nod.

"Don't all witches and wizards remember it?" She smiles softly, mimicking my words from before.

"We walked in together." I don't know why I say it and when I do I realize how it sounds - pathetic, strange.

Hermione doesn't seem to know how to respond so she just nods her head.

I'm about to apologize or say something else stupid or just leave but she stops me.

"I told you about the ceiling. Some fact from some book." She shrugs sheepishly. "That's kind of how I make all my friends oddly enough."

I start to smile because she means the last part as a joke, but I falter when I see the recognition of what she just said dawn on her. I replay the sentence in my head and clench my fist. We stand still, the words hanging heavily between us, hinting at some unspoken and obvious truth. We were the opposite of friends. And with everything that's happened, with the friends we made and the lives we lived that statement seems all the more painful knowing that there was the possibility that we once thought we would be friends, even if that hope was just for a moment.

"I should go." She says quickly and starts walking away.

"I'll see you tomorrow." I say but I know my words are too quiet for her to hear and by the time I follow her I'm sure she is already back in her dormitory.