Chapter 6
Alex carried a crying Sofia down the corridor Meredith with him.
"It's okay Sof, we'll look after your mommy," Alex promised, "Mer will give her lots of kisses to make her better" Meredith rolled her eyes, "I can't she is my boss" he defended. Sofia continued to cry as they loaded her into the car and began driving to the airport no matter what Meredith or Alex said,
"Look Sof, I'll give you $50 to stop crying" Alex begged, Sofia paused considering it,
"Deal" she replied, shaking Alex's hand.
"Right, I'll Park the car and go to the cash machine, did Callie say where to meet?" he asked, Meredith shrugged,
"Departures I guess, we need to hurry or they'll miss their flight" Meredit began seatching the crowds for Callie.
"I wanna to with Uncle Alex," Sofia decided, after all $50 was a lot of ice cream.
"Fine, Mer go find Callie, take the bags" Alex ordered lifting Sofia out of the car and onto his shoulders.
"Doctor TJ see if you can spot you Mama from up there" he instructed glad she was giggling.
"$50 first" Sofia giggled; Alex huffed. Meredith left going inside carrying a tiger and Sofia's bag.
"Meredith, where is Arizona?" Callie came straight over anxiously, "And where is Sofia?"
"Sofia is outside with Alex, I brought the bags in," Meredith explained,
"What so Arizona was too busy to drop off her daughter, to say goodbye, did she even see her this weekend?" Callie ranted; Meredith bit her tongue it wasn't her problem. She didn't need to get involved. Even as she thought that she knew she was going to say something, staying quiet had never been Merediths strong point.
"I mean she hasn't seen Sofia in months, I had to practically beg her to take Sofia this weekend, beg, a mother to see their child what is with that?" Callie continued frustrated, "Should I confront her? I mean I could push our flight back"
"Wait, you had to beg Arizona to take Sofia?" Meredith couldn't believe the lies coming out of Callie's mouth, she had read the texts messages. She had seen Arizona slowly break down over months, seen the weight loss the lack of smiles, the fact whenever you bleeped Arizona was always there on call. The reason they were late was they had to rip Sofia from Arizona's arm, an Arizona who Meredith was sure was being sedated right now the trauma of loosing her daughter to acute for her recovering body.
"Yes" Callie said defensively, Meredith dug into her bag where she still had Arizona's phone
"You had to beg?" Meredith checked again, still unable to believe the lies her friend was spouting.
"Yes" Callie replied confused, Meredith opened up the texts scrolling up, there were hundreds of text messages it didn't matter which she read
"Callie please, can I speak to Sofia even for a minute, it's been 4 days, A. Callie, I have a weekend off can I fly to New York and see Sofia, even if it's just for an hour, please Callie, A. Callie, I know you have full custody but please I love Sofia, can I see her once, before Christmas, please I'm begging you A." Meredith read from the phone, Callie's face as furrowed in confusion as she snatched the phone off Meredith reading the messages for herself. It was true, everything Meredith had said was true. Which was confused because one thing Callie knew was she had not sent any of those texts, so who had? Callie had a sinking feeling the answer to that was not in Seattle.
"Mama" Sofia ran in letting go of Alex to hug Callie
"Sofia" Callie lifted Sofia up, hugging her tightly, it had only been 4 days but it had been horrendous to be so far away from her daughter.
"Last call for flight 565 to New York will all passengers proceed to gate 5" the intercom called.
"That's us, come on Sofia" Callie lifted her daughter and took her rucksack slinging it over her shoulder. Sofia took hold of her tiger.
"Bye guys, thanks for bringing her" Callie nodded before dashing off Arizona's phone still with her. She had to get back to New York to find the truth.
"What did you say?" Alex asked, Meredith shrugged
"The truth, she has been a terrible friend"
Together they left the airport, Meredith to go home to her kids Alex to go back to work, he'd spent far too much time today with Sofia and not reviewing the kids.
Arizona woke a day later, defeated, empty. This was worse than losing her leg, this was losing everything, she no longer had the energy to smile or pretend everything was good. She still had the NG tube, refusing to eat or drink or engage with staff. Not that they left her alone, Meredith, Alex, Bailey, Teddy, Amelia, Owen, Webber, even the interns and Peds nurses came by. But none of them were Sofia, or Callie, she had blown it. She had failed, she was never going to see her daughter again. She was grieving, grieving a daughter who wasn't dead. She had no reason to live, no reason to keep fighting. All she needed to be happy was Callie and Sofia and she had neither. With nothing to fight for, no reason to live Arizona let her depression take over.
Outside the room Bailey was studying her labs, it had been 5 days since Sofia left.
"She is getting worse" she muttered showing Grey who had just arrived, "She isn't fighting, the infection is winning. Damn it" she swore. Meredith looked into the room. If Derrick had taken Zola, Bailey and Ellis away, and banned her from seeing them she wasn't sure she'd do any different.
"I have an idea, it's crazy…" Meredith hesitated,
"We need crazy, if we don't, she'll die or get admitted to pysch" Bailey confessed fearfully, Arizona had lost the will to fight.
"I'll be back" Meredith disappeared, returning 10 minutes later with Ellis,
"What in God's name?"
"Trust me, when I was attacked Arizona moved in, she basically raised Ellis for 3 months. It can't hurt" Meredith decided, taking Ellis in. Arizona made no movement as Meredith wedged her child between Arizona and the bed carefully trying not to pull out any wires. Then she walked out, hoping when Ellis started crawling away Arizona would stop her. At least the bed was low.
Arizona was in a dark place, the darkest place she'd ever been. She was aware of people talking to her but they all seemed so far away from the dark place she was in. Then a toddler started crying. Someone would stop it; she could feel the weight next to her. For a moment she thought it was Sofia coming back to her. Before remembering Sofia was gone permanently. The weight was moving away, someone would pick the toddler up, someone would come before it fell. The toddler had reached the bottom of the bed nobody was coming. Panic brought her out of her dark recess. "
"Ellis" she called grabbing the toddler just in time before she crashed off the bed. Bringing the toddler to her chest giving her a tight hug kissing her hair and just smelling her hair.
"Zo" Ellis babbled giving Arizona a wet kiss.
"Thank you, Ellis," Arizona praised, "Now how who left you there almost falling off the bed?"
"Guilty but I knew you wouldn't drop her" Meredith poked her head around, "the kids have really missed their Auntie Arizona,"
"They have enough Aunties" Arizona muttered, 7 officially if you included half sisters, and more unofficially.
"Does anyone ever have enough family?" Meredith asked, "They love you, they ask about you all the time, when they found out Sofia had drawn you pictures to help you feel better, they turned my house into an art room look" Meredith pointed at the walls. Arizona noticed they were covered in children's drawings, it was easy to see which were done by Zola with her neat lines coloured in the right places, Bailey with his basic shapes, and Ellis with pretty scribbles across the page.
"Just don't ask me what's in each picture" Meredith shrugged, her kids had told her, and she had listened but there were over 10 pictures.
"Can I go home?" Arizona asked, sounding exhausted, she wanted her own things, her own space.
"Not yet, we need your labs to improve first, they have been getting worse," Meredith raised an eyebrow, "I'll bring you some Jell-o if you eat and keep it down hopefully, we can remove the NG" she offered. Arizona shrugged she wanted to go home to wallow in private.
"Have you seen by phone?" Arizona asked, Meredith frowned, "I had it," she tried to recall when she had last had it, with Callie at the airport, had Callie given her it back?
"Er, I had it, I gave it to Callie, I didn't mean to I was confronting her about the text messages and her flight was called, I need to go" she practically ran out of the room grateful her bleep had gone off it wasn't a 911 but it gave her an out. She needed to call Callie and get her to post Arizona's phone. She dialled the number nobody picked up. "Come on Callie" Meredith muttered. Still, nobody answered, Meredith was now sure she couldn't go back in their until she'd spoken to Callie.
Arizona picked up over the next few days, she wasn't back to her perky self, but she was eating, and drinking, the NG tube was out. She'd been out of bed and had a showered. They'd swapped her antibiotics and it seemed to be working.
"Bailey, can I go home? My CRP is better, my white cells have improved, my observations have been stable for over 12 hours, I know I need IV antibiotics, but I could give them to myself at home for the next 4 days and I'll rest better at home" Arizona begged.
"No" Bailey replied not even looking up from the chart.
"But there is nothing keeping me here, I can do it all at home," Arizona protested
"No" Bailey repeated herself
"But"
"No" Bailey interrupted. "No, we are not sending you home on IV's, you nearly died on me 8 days ago and again 5 days ago, you don't get to go home just yet"
"Tomorrow?" Arizona asked hopefully,
"No, at least 4 days, then I will review if you still need the IV's then I will consider it" Bailey knew she wouldn't consider it. While Arizona needed IV's she would remain in hospital.
4 days Arizona could last another 4 days. She reached for the hospital phone again calling the same 3 numbers, Callie's, Sofia's and her own. There was no answer on any of them. It was clear what had happened, Sofia had told Callie about her neglect about the fact she had spent less than 2 days with her daughter out of the 4. Callie had clearly decided she had no place in her daughter's life and had cut her off. Meredith had taken her phone again on Callie's side.
Arizona called her parents speaking to the nurse caring for them, her mother had dementia, she'd been deteriorating for a long time her dad proud and too stubborn to ask for help hadn't told anyone not even his daughter. It had only become a big problem when he had had a stroke. He was no incapacitated, her proud father now couldn't even get out of bed, couldn't eat, couldn't drink all his foods and fluids being pumped into his stomach.
Arizona had them both flown to Seattle settling them in the same home that housed Ellis and Adele after getting advice from Richard. Having them close meant she could visit. It had killed her, and she could tell even though her dad was nonverbal now he was furious with her for putting him in a home. Even if it was a very expensive home taking up the majority of her pay check for 2 beds each month. Her parents' health plan covered some of the expenses, but the care homes it would pay for were below the standard Arizona wanted and although her parents had money, she had no legal right to access it until they died, as neither of them could sign it over. She had a lawyer working on that now trying to sign them as unfit so she could access their funds. It was stressful especially as her dad had waited until the custody fight to have a stroke, with everything else going on Arizona felt exhausted.
She really wanted to talk to Callie, she missed her best friend, her confident, her person. She also felt guilty she hadn't known how bad it was for her dad, caring for his wife alone, scared of burdening his daughter with anything else. What with her amputation, loosing Mark, changing specialities, her separation and subsequent divorce, then loosing custody of her daughter. It had been a rough few years, Arizona reflected, she was practically paying her counsellors medical school debts off she'd had that many appointments.
The 4 days passed slowly; Alex visited bringing interesting Peds cases to discuss. Arizona was grateful for the discussion, it saved her from going crazy. Her other colleagues popped by too, April, Webber, Jackson, Jo, Amelia, Owen. Even Meredith had brought her kids, the kids acting as a buffer between Arizona and Meredith it was hard asking the questions, she needed answers to. Like why Meredith had read her texts? What had she said to Callie? Why did Callie now have her phone?
Finally, it was day 4 she had her bloods taken; she knew Bailey was due soon. She was a stickler for timing.
"Arizona Robbins, 40 years old, admitted 11 days ago following perforated appendix, peritonitis. Had 11 days of IV antibiotics, NG tube removed 6 days ago, eating, and drinking well, bloods have stabilised, electrolytes within normal range. CRP and white cell improving. Last CT reports no pockets of infection, weight is still below normal range." Jo rounded; Arizona listened her mind already planning what she would do if she was the attending.
"Recommendation" Bailey asked
"Discharge with oral antibiotics, follow up in 3 days for repeat bloods and weight check," Arizona held her breath, hoping Bailey would follow Jo's advice.
"Interesting recommendation, have you considered the amputation?" Bailey asked,
"No?" Jo questioned wondering how that impacted discharge. Arizona closed her eyes in disappointment, she really wanted to go home and didn't want her leg to hold her back again.
"We need to arrange an appointment with the prosthetist, David, isn't it?" Arizona nodded. "He'll be here to review the fit of your leg at 11. I'm worried about the fit with the amount of weight you have lost and not just in this admission. I noticed your stump is red and it seems to be rubbing. If he is happy, and you have someone at home with you, I will arrange your discharge papers. But you will need to be collected."
Arizona nodded, she had no idea who to ask, who to call. She didn't want to burden anyone, to suffocate anyone like she had Callie. Nobody wanted a disabled, depressed, PTSD ridden, lesbian needing medical care staying with them. Maybe she should ring the care home where her parents were to see if they had a spare bed. Not that if she did have multiple people wanting her to stay, she could contact them. First thing she needed to do post discharge was get a new phone. Maybe she could pretend, pay a taxi driver to come up, lie and say he was a family friend, would Bailey believe her. If she couldn't find anyone how much longer would Bailey hold her here.
Alex turned up,
"Hey Robbins, need an opinion," he began listing the case. Arizona listened, but all the time was building up her courage. She had stayed with Alex before, not for long, his house wasn't set up for disabilities but it was better than here.
"So, what do you think?" Alex asked
"Can I stay with you, for a few days, Bailey insists I go home with someone. I'll sleep on the sofa, I swear you and Jo won't know I'm here" Arizona begged she could go to her house in the day, shower there then head back in the evening to sleep. That should reassure Bailey
"Sure, but I thought you were going to Meredith's she prepped the spare room" Alex said surprised Arizona shook her head.
"She hasn't said anything, why would she want me there? She has barely spoken to me since Callie left." Alex shrugged
"She feels guilty for reading your texts and confronting Callie, she thought it would help. Look if Bailey does discharge you today, I'll swing by after I finish at 8 and take you home if Meredith hasn't before then" Alex offered. Arizona smiled. Alex was like her little brother and had matured so much since she had first met him.
"Thank you, Alex," Arizona replied sincerely, "So tell me about Thomas I'll listen this time" she promised.
Alex left as David arrived,
"I hear your prosthetic is rubbing, it's been a while since your last fitting. Remember it should be every 3 months, especially in the first few years and it's been 12 months since I last had you in" David checked his notes, his tone was friendly, he didn't want to nag just get across how important it was for regular review.
"I know I'm sorry, I've had a lot on, I split up with Callie, lost custody of my kid, trained in a new speciality, my mom got dementia, my dad had a stroke, there both in long term care now." Arizona apologised,
"That's a lot," David sympathised, "But your leg is important too, you are important too and an ill-fitting prosthetic will make everything else a lot harder."
"I know, I'll try to make more time" Arizona promised, David slapped his hands together
"That's all I ask, so if you can put your prosthetic on and I'll have a look"
Arizona easily put her leg on standing up.
"It's very loose, I can pad it for now so you can go home, I'll fit you for a new one now, and you're coming back for repeat bloods in 3 days I can have something ready by then"
"Thank you" Arizona used crutches to stand as he recast her leg, returning to bed once it was done. David went back to his bag getting his padding adding it to areas that appeared loose.
"Try this" Arizona did,
"It feels better but still loose here"
It took a few adjustments until her leg was comfortable.
"Great I have no problems with you going home," David said, "I'll see you in 3 days,"
Arizona nodded, this was exciting, she could go home, well not home but to Alex's or Meredith's.
At 3pm exactly, Arizona was dressed, leg on ready to go home. She'd been promised discharge papers, as promised a nurse came in,
"Here are your medications, I normally explain them, but I think you can cope with pain tablets and antibiotics. We changed your dressing this morning we will need to change it again in clinic in 3 days your scheduled to see Dr Bailey at 2pm and David at 4pm. We recommend no driving, no drinking at least until both the pain and antibiotics are finished. If you smoke, we advised you to stop as it can delay wound healing. Now you can call your lift and as soon as they arrive, I'll get you a wheelchair"
"Okay, it might be later Alex has to finish his on call"
"that's fine just let us know when he is here" the nurse left. Arizona sat in the chair next to the stubbornly not getting back in even though she was tired.
"Okay, I got your phone as a peace offering," Meredith stuck Arizona phone into the room before following. "And I'm here to take you home, kinda"
"Kinda?" Arizona questioned,
"You'll see, I brought a chair." Arizona didn't like that answer but she did desperately want to escape so climbed into the chair, Meredith's would be easier to leave from than the hospital.
"Let's go" Meredith pushed Arizona out, waiting in the car park was someone who she thought she'd never see again.
"Callie?"
"Hello Arizona"
Next up find out who sent the texts. What will Callie and Arizona say? Is there hope for them?