After dashing away Sonic felt a deep regret and berated himself for leaving like that. Right now, all he felt was the need to just get away to somewhere secluded and quiet. Where he could tend to his thoughts and feelings alone. He ran over long meadows and hills leaving behind a trail of footprints and a blue blur. Eventually Sonic noticed that he was being followed, and this made him feel conflicted. Should he stop and wait for whoever was following him? He shook his head, he felt to upset and being alone was his first priority.
An idea popped into his head, the forest nearby had been one of his favorite places to go to whenever he went out just to escape his friends and civilians. With a sharp turn into the forest and sea of tall trees with different shades of green and oranges. Lately the hot summer began cooling down into a breezy fall and the trees were starting to change their colors and the leaves would start to fall soon.
It would be harder for a normal person to climb up one of these trees, but with Sonic's speed he easily jumped high into the air and landed on a thick tree branch. He steadied himself to keep him from falling and nearly dropped to his legs and slumped against the tree. The leaves and branches covered him up from anyone passing by so he was safe up here.
A dejected sigh left him, his plan on just conversing with Shadow went up into flames horribly. If anything, he most likely just made himself look even bigger a fool in the ebony hedgehog's eyes. His ears folded back down sadly, he glumly let his legs dangle down, they swayed forwards and backwards suspended in the air. He felt miserable and more depressed than earlier, he didn't know what to do with himself and it felt like there was nothing he can do and it felt like he ruined his chance to try to change that with Shadow.
There was a distant sound his ears picked up on and Sonic curiously glanced down with listless eyes. To his surprise it was Shadow who cursed loudly, the ground crunched under his feet and Sonic realized he was tracking him, by searching for his footprints. He felt a little glad he chose there to jump so Shadow can't find him that easily.
Minutes passed and a frown settled on his lips when Shadow didn't give up looking. Everybody else would've stopped and grew bored looking for him, and chalked it up to Sonic being in a different spot by then. Those times when he watched Tails, Knuckles, or Amy give up finding him had hurt a bit. He was there in plain sight most of those times but now he choose to keep himself hidden and ignore the pang of pain. It was confusing to see Shadow continue and he voiced it out without meaning to.
"Why are you following me?" Sonic whispered, he shut his mouth quickly with a hand when he soon found out Shadow could hear him. Shadow's red hues met his in an instant and zoomed in on him. A sort of bitter feeling crept up into his chest, he bet Shadow was only here because Rouge forced him to look. He schooled his features to not show anything he was feeling.
"Why are you hiding?" Sonic shrugged, he didn't know what to say or what to make of Shadow being here. 'If I just 'be my self' I can annoy him and make him go so he's not wasting his time on me. I've bothered him enough.' Sonic thought to himself.
"I asked you a question first." He muttered, if being childish means Shadow would leave then he will be childish and petulant. Shadow merely blinked and he hesitated, did he really want him to leave though?
"Rouge thinks you're not okay, and that I should come and check on why." Shadow answered, it felt like there was a sharp pain in his chest. Of course. He had to bite his tongue to keep the crestfallen feeling he felt. Shadow was here because of Rouge. And Rouge didn't want to waste her own time so she just sent him. So, he was right. Everyone didn't care enough to try actually knowing Sonic or caring about him.
"Well go tell her I'm fine, just tired is all." His ears twitched up and he looked at Shadow with confusion written across his face. 'What is Shadow doing?' He asked himself. Shadow sat down and made himself cozy with his back against a tree. Shadow shut his eyes and lay his head back. "Aren't you going to. Ya know go?"
Shadow opened his eyes and shrugged while saying, "You still didn't answer why."
"I'm not hiding, I just wanted a quiet place to think." Sonic's voice was defensive and curt, Sonic turned his head away and stared at some leaves near him. "Why are you still here? Don't you hate me?" He couldn't believe what Shadow said next though.
"I don't hate you." Shadow confessed. Sonic's heart sped up and a spark of wonder shot through him. He kept his face blank though, not knowing that his eyes gave him away when he spun his head back to meet Shadow's gaze.
"But- You're always calling me annoying and an idiot. You've said we're rivals before." Sonic stammered out still not truly believing this, Shadow sighed.
"That doesn't mean I hate you." Sonic wanted to scoff. "You get on my nerves at times yes. However I don't truly hate you." 'No that's not true.' A sad fleeting thought flickered through him.
"You call me Faker." He muttered weakly.
"And you call me Shads." The ebony hedgehog emphasized without missing a beat. Yes he calls him Shads as a nickname because he considered him a friend- oh. Oh.
"So...like. That's my nickname, a friendly type of nickname?" He asked, the uncertainty could be heard in his voice.
"Yes." Perking up much like a puppy would, Shadow gave a rare small smile to Sonic who gave one back. Sonic was beaming but his smile soon faded which Shadow did notice. The temporary euphoria disappeared and reality swept in.
"What's the matter?" Sonic shook his head and feigned a smile.
"It's nothing. I'm fine." Shadow crossed his arms, feeling displeased that Faker had lied to him again.
"You're obviously lying, you aren't fine." Sonic looked away awkwardly, with anybody else they would've left it at 'I'm fine' so he didn't really expect Shadow to question him. "What are you thinking about that's bothering you so bad?"
"It's." He stopped and hesitated. Should he really tell Shadow? He quickly made up his mind, Shadow seemed to genuinely care about him. "I don't know." Sonic shut his eyes and pulled his knees to his chest. A defensive and protective stance Shadow noted. "Or maybe I do. I don't know it so hard to explain." Shadow felt lost trying to discern Sonic's cryptic answer. Sonic's heart sank when he heard silence, Shadow must've grew tired of him and left...
The thick branch he was sitting on shifted and Sonic opened his eyes, with shock and surprise. Shadow was inches away from him staring intently into his eyes.
"What's wrong Sonic." It felt odd for him to hear him say his name, his real name. Sonic couldn't help it. "You aren't okay, so don't lie to me."
"I don't know who I am." Sonic uttered weakly, it was the same phrase he told Tails weeks ago. It was what made Tails concerned and cautious around him, even thinking that Sonic wasn't okay in the head. Instead of scoffing or mocking him and leaving, Shadow stayed.
"What do you mean?"
"I live up to what people say I should be. Living up to their expectations. I never wanted to do this, I never wanted to do this. I couldn't even talk to anyone about this." Sonic hugged his knees closer, "I just want to be myself. But I don't know who I am."
Shadow saw Sonic differently, this wasn't the same person he knew before. Here was a vulnerable and lost hedgehog, fragile and breaking from things he cannot see physically. He knew it was there, weighing the younger hedgehog down to his core and exhausting him and wearing him down. Looking into those emerald eyes, he could see the hurt and confusion Sonic felt. Before, Shadow knew Sonic kept something to himself, there was a facade he couldn't see but now he did.
'Be gentle, listen and always show you care.' A soft feminine voice whispered, Shadow felt his heart clench at the familiarity of Maria's voice, he could envision her delicate appearance and compassionate spirit down to every detail. In moments or situations like this...Shadow could hear her giving him advice, as if she was standing beside him. It was one of his secrets, one that not even Rouge knew about.
"You don't have to listen to what people say you should be. You can always find out who you are." Shadow said with a firm tone. "I assure you, you don't owe anyone anything and you shouldn't hurt yourself trying to be someone you're not." Shadow thought back to what Sonic said and asked him, "Why can't you talk to anyone about this? Like your fox friend or the echidna? Wouldn't it be easier to talk with them than me? You know them more and vice versa." Sonic laughed, though it was hollowly.
"You'd think it would be." Sonic sighed. "I tried with Tails, it went completely wrong. He thinks I'm crazy and all that, now he's being all cautious and I can't even trust him anymore." Sonic looked Shadow in the eyes. "It's like everyone lives up to their own expectations, just because they like the attention and fame they get from hanging out with me. Even Tails, but he's my little bro- I can't blame him for changing."
Shadow wasn't sure what to say, figuring that he should let Sonic keep talking. Sonic continued, "But you- chaos this sounds weird but you're different and I thought I should talk to you. That's why I was there at your place earlier...I don't know what happened I just got scared because what if I'm just being stupid with this whole thing. Just making this into some big deal when it's nothing."
Truthfully, Sonic could say he wouldn't expect Shadow to do this ever. Sonic was wrapped in Shadow's arms in a light embrace which Sonic was limp for at first, Sonic returned the hug and felt a few tears roll down his face which surprised him greatly. He felt so safe, so protected in Shadow's presence and felt so comforted in his arms. It was the first time he felt so safe in a long time.
"Look Sonic," Shadow said quietly. "We were never close before...but I can tell you aren't okay. You obviously have some trust in me. Do you not?" Sonic didn't hesitate with his answer.
"Yeah. I do. I don't know why I do, and I don't understand why you're still here. You can leave, I- I won't hold it against you." Sonic tried backed away from the hug but Shadow didn't let go, Sonic struggled a little bit. "I'm just burdening my dumb problems with you. R-really Shadow. I shouldn't have bothered you."
"...I care." Sonic blinked and stopped struggling. "I want to help you." Shadow spoke in a low tone. "Will you let me help you?"