"Tear 'em all down!" shouted the foreman. And then a bunch of big mobile machines started ramming themselves into the trees of Los Angeles Forest. The trees started falling down, as they planned.
What they did not foresee was the machines stopping because something was blocking their way.
It was John Phoenix!
"Oi get outta the way we're trying to cut those trees down!" said a woodcutter.
"Objection! I object to this unnecessary deforestation!" shouted John Phoenix.
"It's not unnecessary, John Phoenix," said one of the machine operators. "When people cut down trees, they use them to make useful appliances like chairs or paper."
"Yes! That is what people usually do to trees. But that is not what Dylan does when he cuts down trees! When Dylan cuts down trees, he grinds them all down into dust and throws them into the sea, which also poisons the fish! So you see? This isn't a plan to make furniture, it's a plan to pollute the planet and kill everyone on it for fun!"
"IS THIS TRUE, FOREMAN?" shouted the innocent woodcutters.
"NO!" shouted Dylan.
"YES!" shouted John Phoenix and he pulled out a document that showed the Earth lost all its trees and was soon going to be covered in carbon dioxide!
Dylan Fitchar ran away!
"Thanks for stopping us, John Phoenix," said the woodcutters. "But now how are we going to save the earth now that we've fucked it up?"
"Easily," said John Phoenix. He took the document and brought it to the factory and used the machines backwards to turn it from paper back into wood, then he glued the wood together and stuck them back in the earth and the trees were saved!
The End.