Chapter 17
"Do we have to go back to school?" Gazzy whined.
Nudge nodded. "Yeah! That's not fair! Let's go back on vacation!"
I definitely wasn't looking forward to going back to fifth grade. Now I had to deal with Jaz, homework, Mrs. Jenkins, our weird principal…oh, and did I mention Jaz?
Jeb shook his head. "You need to learn things. Learning is important."
I rolled my eyes at him, as if to say, Why did you take us on vacation if we're supposed to be learning?
We trudged to the bus stop. My backpack felt heavier than ever as I thought about all the homework I hadn't bothered to do. Not because I cared about homework or anything – but Mrs. Jenkins would probably send me right to the principal.
"Have a good day!" Jeb called from our porch, waving.
I glared at him. "Yeah, right."
When the bus pulled up at our stop, Jaz wasted no time launching herself off the bus and right at Fang.
"Hi, Fnick!" she cried, wrapping her arms around him. "I missed you! You were gone for so long and I thought maybe you were dead and I'd never see you again and-"
"Oh god," I muttered. "Kill me now."
Luckily, Jaz was interrupted by the bus driver. "Come on!" he yelled, honking the horn. "Don't keep me waiting!"
We piled onto the bus. I made sure to stay as far away from Jaz as possible, pulling Iggy into a seat towards the back. Gazzy and Nudge sat in front of us.
"Well," I said, sighing. "We get to deal with our best friend Jaz again."
"She's not too bad," Nudge replied with a shrug.
I stared at her. "Not too bad? Did you see the way she practically attacked Fang?"
Iggy frowned. "What's the matter with that?"
"I told you," Nudge said. "Max liiiikes Fang."
"What?" Once again, my face was turning red. "Not true, Nudge! Stop making things up!"
"Don't try to hide it," Nudge teased.
"Hide what?" I yelled. "I DON'T LIKE FANG!"
Unfortunately, I yelled this loud enough for the entire bus to hear – especially Jaz and Fang, who were sitting right in the front.
My face started turning red again.
"Oops," Gazzy remarked with a mischievous smile.
~~::~~
"Stupid Nudge and her…stupidness," I grumbled later in class as Mrs. Jenkins handed out a math worksheet.
"What?" Iggy asked as I took two worksheets, one for him and one for me.
"Nothing," I muttered, yanking a pencil out of my backpack. "Okay, what's 30 times 52?"
Iggy sighed. "I don't know."
"Me neither," I replied, with a shrug. I glanced around at everyone. They seemed like they knew what to do. Except of course, I had never learned how to multiply big numbers.
Well, I actually couldn't multiply at all, but don't tell Mrs. Jenkins that. Normally, I just guessed. I was pretty sure I had an F in math.
"Let's see….I'll go with 18," I said.
"It can't possibly be 18," Iggy told me.
"Yeah?" I asked, frowning. "Well, if you're so smart, you do it!"
"I can't see the dumb paper!" he whispered, sounding annoyed.
I sighed in exasperation. "Okay. 's 21 times 13?"
"Hmmm…" Iggy trailed off, tapping his pencil against his chin. "34?"
"Okay," I said, writing it down on both of our papers.
"Time's up!" Mrs. Jenkins yelled, practically in my ear.
"Aah!" I yelled, and almost everyone in our class laughed. Mrs. Jenkins did not.
"Please trade with a partner and grade," she ordered. I grinned at Iggy and grabbed his paper.
She started reading off numbers. Iggy started doodling on the paper, not paying attention. Why would he need to pay attention? I started zoning out too.
"Please right the percent on the top of the paper," Mrs. Jenkins was suddenly saying.
"One hundred percent!" I told Iggy with a smile, writing it on top of his paper. He did the same for me, in a messy, illegible scribble.
We'd only answered two of the questions, and both of them had been wrong.
~~::~~
"Alright, class! Field trip!" Mrs. Jenkins announced.
I wrinkled my nose. "Field trip? What do they expect us to do on a field trip? What's a field trip?"
"I think it means you trip in fields," Iggy whispered.
I shook my head. "I don't want to go, then."
Mrs. Jenkins, who'd overheard us, of course, proclaimed, "Everyone is going. It is mandatory."
Jaz's hand shot up, and I frowned at her. "Where are we going on our field trip?" she asked with one of her trademark smiles.
"To an art museum," Mrs. Jenkins responded.
"A fart museum?" Iggy asked, sounding thrilled. I snickered.
Mrs. Jenkins started handing out papers again. "These are your permission slips," she said.
"Slips….field trips… someone really wants us to get hurt," I whispered to Iggy, who laughed.
Mrs. Jenkins whirled to face us. "Max? Jeff? Would you like to visit the principal again?"
"No thanks!" I responded.
She arched an eyebrow. "Then I recommend being quiet."
"Aye aye, captain!" I said, saluting her when she turned her back. Iggy covered his mouth with his hands to stifle his laughing.
Finally, the bell rang, signaling that school was over for the day. I grabbed Iggy's hand, practically dragging him towards the door. Unfortunately, we were stopped by Jaz.
"Hi!" she said, doing that weird smile of hers again.
"Uh…hi," I replied, making a face at her.
She looked back and forth between me and Iggy. I realized I was still holding his hand.
"You and Iggy look cute together," she said, leaning in close towards my face.
I pulled backwards, away from her. "Uh…what?"
"I said, you guys look cute together," she repeated. That dumb smile was still on her face.
"Um…." I trailed off. "WellIgottagocatchabussotalkt oyoulaterbye!" Then I booked it out of there, pulling Iggy along behind me.
When we were sitting on the bus (in the back, where hopefully Jaz would not find us) I looked at Iggy, who had this huge smile on his face too.
"What?" I asked. Was smiling contagious or something?
He just kept smiling. "Nothing."
I smiled too. "Right. Nothing?"
"Nothing," he repeated, laughing.
I started laughing too.
"What's so funny, anyway?" Nudge asked as she headed towards us, pulling Gazzy behind her.
"Nothing," Iggy responded with another laugh.
Nudge just rolled her eyes.
"You guys are so weird."