picking up a few weeks after where last chapter ended off, we have sweet upstead moments that are a tiny bit hurt/comfort. hope you enjoy!
"Hey, I'm on my way home from work now. Need me to get you anything? I'll take the long way home in case you want to call back. I love you," Jay sighed, pocketing his phone and pulling on his jacket. He'd been leaving his wife messages all day long, but she hadn't replied to a single one. When he had left for shift that morning, he at least expected Hailey to roll over and let him kiss her goodbye. But she had gone rigid when he sat on the bed next to her, so Jay respected her personal space and just said he loved her, before heading to work.
The crisp February air was nicer than the stuffy police department building, but it gave Jay a chill just from his short walk to the truck. He cranked the heat on his way home, making sure to take the longer route in case Hailey called back. She didn't, so Jay decided to head home. Maybe she was tired and fell asleep, or she wanted to wait until he got home to ask for something. Jay didn't mind going out again and would gladly go wherever his wife sent him. He loved her, and even though sometimes her dinner requests had gotten weird lately, he still went. Pregnancy hormones were the real thing, he had discovered.
When he got to the apartment, Jay took the stairs two at a time to get to their floor. He wasn't anxious, just really wanted to see his wife. "Hailey?" Jay called out as he gently pushed open the door. He didn't see her anywhere in the living room or kitchen, so he checked their bedroom. He was met with the sight of Hailey on the floor leaning against the bed with her tears streaming down her face and her hair a mess. Jay ran over to her and fell to the floor at her side. "Oh Hails, what's wrong?" He asked, wrapping her in a big hug.
Hailey opened her mouth to say something along the lines of 'I'm fine' or 'nothing' but only a sob came out. Jay just held her tighter and let her cry against him. He could feel her tears soaking his shirt and his heart broke for her. He wanted her to tell him what was making her so upset, but he knew she needed to calm down first. Together, they sat on the floor with Jay's strong arms around Hailey, keeping her safe. He whispered sweet words to her and rubbed her back. It reminded him of the time Hailey had a panic attack during the Roy Walton case drama, when Jay had been there for her even without knowing the real reason why she had been so worked up.
Brushing the tears off her cheeks, Jay ran a hand through Hailey's hair and then looked deep into her blue eyes. "Want to tell me what's on your mind? I could tell you've been thinking about some things the past couple weeks, but I didn't want to say anything. Now I'm saying it, because I can't have the woman I love crying alone."
Silence hung over them, as Hailey struggled to settle her heart rate. "My dad abused my mom and me and my brothers. And my mom didn't have the guts to leave him, to protect her kids, Jay. What if I'm like her?" She burst out, the words left Hailey's mouth before she could do anything to stop them.
Immediately, Jay took Hailey's hands in his and gently tilted her chin so that she was staring straight back at him. "You will never be like her. You are braver than she ever will be. You are strong, you're beautiful and I will never put you in a situation where you have to even think about defending our kid. I will always be right next to you, fighting the bad guy." Jay took a deep breath, not knowing what else to say. He didn't know how to tell her what he just knew deep down in his heart. Yet he would find a way. "Look, I love you. And I'd be lying if I said I haven't been having similar thoughts about my own self and my ability to be a father. After my mom died, my dad made us fight for his love. He never supported my choices, what with joining the army and then becoming a detective. When he died and I found out he was actually proud of me, I vowed to never be like him. I wanted my kids and family to always know that I am proud of them. They never have to prove their abilities to me. I will love them and support them for simply existing."
Something in Hailey's heart broke, but in a good way. She loved Jay so much and it had been silly of her to think about something that she knew he would have words of wisdom for. Sometimes the thoughts hit harder than other days which is why Hailey had broken down this afternoon of all times. She didn't want Jay to know but now that he did, she was glad for his warm embrace and kind words.
Jay had one final thing to tell her. "Baby we're not going to be like our parents. We're going to be better than them. If you and I managed to make it out of our lives and become two people capable of loving each other, then we are going to be just fine. We already love our daughter and we haven't even met her yet." Jay smiled at the last part. They were going to have a daughter because together they could do anything. Deep down Hailey and Jay both knew that they were going to be okay. Because they had each other and Jay had once told Hailey that he would follow her anywhere. Those words had been spoken from the heart when they weren't even together. Now that they were bound by marriage and love and a baby on the way, those words were more true than ever.
Hailey didn't know how to reply so she just nodded and tried to smile. It was enough for her husband, who never expected anything but love from her. He was the best thing to happen to her and she never took him for granted.
Jay's hands gently cupped Hailey's face. "How about we go for a walk? Watch the stars for a bit, then we can come home and I'll make you and I some hot chocolate and we can either catch a movie or make out for a bit."
Hailey laughed, her mood changed instantly by Jay's suggestions. "You're such a boy," she said, rolling her eyes. It made Jay happy to see her not sad anymore. "I'll take the first and last options, please."
"You got it." Jay pressed a quick kiss to her lips, then stood up. "Just a sneak peek to what'll come later," Jay told her. His wife let out a lap, and let Jay pull her up off the floor.
Hailey didn't move for a moment, because her hand was on her stomach and she could feel their daughter kicking. "Jay, feel this," she exclaimed with excitement. She grabbed Jay's hand and placed it flat on her stomach.
Jay waited in anticipation, then lit up when he felt the baby kick against his hand. "That was her!" He said aloud, his eyes bright.
"That was her." Tears formed at the corner's of Hailey's eyes again, only this time they were happy ones. Jay pulled her in for another hug, chin resting on the top of her head, his hand remaining on Hailey's belly. They said nothing, just stood together in the quiet moment of just the three of them. Through her soft crying, Hailey managed to say, "You're right. We're never gonna be like our parents. Because we're going to put our daughter and our family above everything else."
"I love you," was Jay's response. The only reply that really mattered.
"I love you too."
They were going to be okay, the Halsteads. They were going to be just fine because even when things got tough, instead of pulling away or blaming each other or anything of that nature, Hailey and Jay came together. They loved each other and they loved their daughter. That was all they needed to be happy. Oh and maybe their friends too, as they had been there for them no matter what. Life would throw curveballs, but luckily both Hailey and Jay knew how to dodge a bullet. They would be okay.
i've got an exam tonight (last thing before i can officially say semester 1 of uni is over!) so i'm glad this chapter made it out in time. also how i've managed to get a bunch of reviews & follows/favs on this fic, i don't know. this might seem like a small thing to you, but it's really big for me. thank you to everyone who's read this fic, i mean it. much love to you all find me on tumblr at thedefinitionofendgame. thanks for reading!