last one of these pesky beginning notes for this fic. i know you have all been eagerly waiting for this, so i'll save my speech for the end. here's to Willow's first year of life!
*IMPORTANT* unfortunately FFnet does not allow images to be inserted into a fic. so for the parts that say instagram post, I actually did create a "fake" instagram post and inserted the image on ao3. i think you should definitely check out the pictures though! you can find them on my ao3 (exact same username/fic title as this) or on my tumblr (same username). it's inconvenient for sure, and i wish that this problem could be fixed!
First night home from the hospital
When the crying started only three minutes after Hailey finally passed out, she almost didn't hear it because she was so exhausted. Then Willow's cries got louder, causing both Hailey and Jay's eyes to open. "You've got to be kidding me," Hailey groaned. "I just got her down."
"I've got her, you rest," Jay said, pushing himself into a sitting position.
"No, there's no use. I'm up now and it's milk she wants." Hailey reached over to the bassinet beside her, and placed a soothing hand on her daughter. "You're feisty, aren't you."
Jay was about to argue with Hailey, but he collapsed right back to sleep. Hailey took Willow into the kitchen so that she could at least maybe watch some TV. Instead, Hailey stared down at her baby girl with the same big blue eyes as her. Willow had wispy brown curls courtesy of Jay, but she was definitely her mother's daughter. And even if she kept Hailey up for hours and she barely got any sleep, well it would only last so long. In a few weeks she'd be napping for age, a few years she'd be sleeping through the night, and a few decades she wouldn't be at home anymore. It was a dark spiral to think in, yet it was the truth. Hailey was going to remember every minute and love her daughter for the rest of her life.
Laughing (no it's not just a random baby noise)
"Hailey, have you seen my Chicago Bears baseball cap?" Jay asked, running frantically into the living room where his wife and daughter were lounging. It was Jay's first day back full time at work, after having off-and-on shifts for the past three months.
Hailey, who was stacking wooden blocks next to Willow, didn't even look up. "I think it's in the keys & things bowl by the front door."
"It better be. I need that damn thing." Jay muttered to himself as he went to check where Hailey thought he left it. "I can't find it," he said a few moments later.
"Let me look, you watch Willow." Hailey began to stand up, but then she got a clear glimpse of Jay. It only took a second before she was doubling over, laughter spilling out and echoing throughout the apartment. "Oh my god, your hair, Jay I-" she tried to say. But the sight before her was too funny, and she couldn't form a coherent thought.
Jay, on the other hand, was not amused. He knew that cutting his hair half asleep last night was not a good idea. Besides the hack job he had performed at the front, the sides were slightly uneven. It looked worse than Willow's three-month old bedhead that occurred most mornings. "Hailey, do not," he warned, wagging a finger at her. It only made Hailey laugh harder. She reached down and picked up Willow, wondering if holding her daughter would make the laughter at least be less aggressive. But one more glance at Jay's normally perfect hair had tears streaming down her face as she howled more.
Instead of being freaked out by her mom's reaction, Willow gave her father a gummy smile and made a noise that sounded somewhat like a laugh. Jay didn't notice at first, he was still rolling his eyes at his wife. However Hailey heard it, and stopped chuckling abruptly. "Jay, did you just hear that?" She asked, astonished.
"Hear what? All I got was you making fun of my haircut. Which I admit is pretty bad and I look like some wild animal…" Jay made a face and put his hands up by his ears. Suddenly, a small giggle pierced the room and Willow was gaping at her dad.
"You made her laugh!" Hailey was all smiles as she stared proudly at her little girl. "Oh my god, she laughed for the first time!"
"No way!" Jay had heard it the second time, and it was a noise he wanted to hear on repeat for the rest of his life. "Wait, I have to get her to do it on camera. You try to make her laugh this time." He pulled his cell phone out of his pocket and aimed it towards his wife and baby.
Hailey scrunched her nose and let out an 'oink'. It only took a second, then Willow burst out with more giggles. Hailey made a chicken movement, then 'bucked' which Willow also adored. Behind the camera, Jay was smiling so wide he thought his whole face was going to crack. Hailey made a few more faces and noises, then she glanced over at Jay. "I'm sorry for laughing about your hair," Hailey apologized, stepping towards Jay.
"It's fine, we got to hear Willow's first laugh because of it. Now I don't want to go to work though," Jay pouted.
"I'll text you every time she does something cute so that you can pretend you're here. And you can call me on break," Hailey promised, as she gave Jay a one-armed hug goodbye. Willow was still in her grasp, which made the contact difficult.
Jay nodded. "Okay. And maybe you can fix my hair tonight."
"Oh I definitely will." Hailey glanced over and saw Jay's baseball hat on the ground next to his shoes. "And there's your hat," she added.
"Thank you," Jay leaned down to pick it up. Then he kissed Hailey on the lips quickly, and ruffled Willow's hair. "Goodbye to my favourite girls," he said.
He pulled open the door and waved as he walked down the hall. Hailey and Willow stood in the doorway until he rounded the corner. Then Hailey looked down at her daughter and said, "Well, I guess it's just you and me, Little Bug."
Willow's new room
It took a good five months, but finally, Willow had her own room.
She no longer would sleep in the same room as Hailey and Jay, which they fortunately weren't upset about. It meant that they could go back to having sex in their bed and not a quickie in the shower or on the couch in the living room. Very nice, for a young couple who prior to their child, had had a very active sex life. Willow was sleeping great on her own now and even five to seven hours during the night. Hailey was pretty stoked about having that many hours to get back all the alone-time she and Jay had missed out on.
What was also exciting, was that Willow's new bedroom was in their brand new house! Jay and Hailey had spent most of Jay's paternity leave looking for a house that their family could fit more comfortably in. After months of searching and weeks of waiting to see if they would get the house they put the deposit down on, it had been sold—to the Halsteads! Jay and Hailey were proud owners of a modest two storey place only three blocks from Adam and Kim's brownstone, and a ten minute drive from Stella and Severide's loft. Perfect location that allowed for all three kids to grow up together, and they would even be attending the same daycare. So far it was just Isla there, but Shayden would be joining in the New Year, and Willow a few months after that. All three "cousins" got along decently, which Hailey found a relief.
Hailey and Jay had dropped Willow off at Stella's for the day, while they finished Willow's room. They needed all hands on deck, and it was way easier to get stuff done without a baby to look after. Jay went to go pick his daughter back up, and brought dinner as a thank-you to the Severides. When the father-daughter duo got home, Hailey greeted them at the door and opened her arms for Willow to fall into. "There's my happy girl," Hailey said with a smile. She kissed the top of Willow's head and hugged her close for a minute.
"What am I, chopped liver?" Jay asked, jokingly.
"I just saw you," replied Hailey. But she let Jay kiss her anyway. "Hope that was a good consolation prize."
"Very." Jay winked. "We better show Willow her room, because that's where she will be staying tonight when you and I have our own fun."
Hailey rolled her eyes and used a free hand to swat at her husband. "Shush. Let's just show our girl her room." She led the way up the staircase that had already been fitted with 2 baby gates. Down the hall on the left was Willow's room; the one on the right was empty and the end held the master-suite.
Opening the door, the room was painted a soft grey, with pink accents. The crib was white and so was the dresser, but the "Willow" letters on the wall were pink. The carpet on the wood floors had small flowers on it, and the rocking chair was wood as well. The room looked better than any other place in the house right now, and both Hailey and Jay were very proud of it.
"Willow, look at the pretty horsie," Jay said, gently pointing his daughter's fist at the framed horse picture on the wall.
Willow babbled and drooled as she waved her hands at the pictures. Hailey smiled at her daughter's reaction and put her down on the carpet. There were a few toys that Hailey had yet to put away, which Willow took advantage of having near her. She stuck a rattle in her mouth and looked up at her parents. "We did good with this room," Hailey said, resting her head on Jay's shoulder.
"You did good picking the designs," Jay replied. "We all know the house would look bad without your expertise."
"Fair point." Hailey laughed. They then watched their daughter glance around her room, taking everything in. Life was so good, right now, that Hailey never wanted it to end.
Halloween
[Instagram post]
Christmas
[Instagram post]
First word
"Dada," came a whisper. "Willow, say Dada." Silence.
Across the room, Hailey flipped on the bedside lamp and caught her husband leaning over Willow in her bassinet, tickling her feet as he repeated the word 'Dada' over and over. "Jay Halstead, what the heck are you doing," she said, frowning unhappily.
Jay flinched at the sudden burst of light, then replied guilty, "Trying to make her first word be Dada," he admitted.
Hailey rolled her eyes and kicked her feet off the couch. "Immersion therapy works, but you shouldn't force her to learn something she won't." She went over to stand next to Jay, and then poked Willow in the belly. "Say, Mama!"
"Hey! You'll confuse her!" Jay's mouth had dropped open. He had been expecting a scolding, not for his wife to take over what he had previously been doing. "Dada, Willow. Dada!" He prompted.
"Mama."
"Dada."
"Mama."
"Dada!"
"Mama!"
"No."
Both Hailey and Jay froze. They looked at each other, then looked at Willow. "What did you just say?" Hailey asked.
Willow smiled at them. "No!" Then she giggled.
Hailey was the first to cave, as she laughed. "Why is that my baby's first word? Why? It's not like we say it very often!"
Jay smirked. "I have no idea. Maybe it was Shayden or Isla's influence?"
Hailey rolled her eyes. "No way." Pause. "Actually, I take it back. We say 'no' often."
"No!" Willow repeated, her smile growing.
"That's right babygirl, you say it!" Hailey applauded her daughter, clapping her hands together. "Oh boy, wait until we tell our friends about that one."
"I can hear their comments now," Jay sighed. "Maybe we can trick them. Wait until she gets Dada or Mama and call that her first word."
Almost on instinct, Hailey opened her mouth to say 'no'. But Willow beat her to it. "No," the almost one-year old said.
"Guess we have our answer," Hailey commented. "Better text Will, he'll get a kick out of it."
"Great." Jay groaned but secretly, he was smiling. He didn't care that his daughter's first word wasn't 'Dada', because this would be a funny story to tell in the future. Willow was certainly her own person, and Jay couldn't wait to watch her grow up, more than she already had.
Willow's first birthday
"Happy birthday, dear Willow, happy birthday to you!" The boisterous singing stopped, much to Willow's disappointment. Surprisingly, she enjoyed the loud noises of everyone and when Isla cried because she wasn't the one opening presents, Willow just giggled and tore more wrapping paper. Jay and Hailey had one chill kid on their hands; at least until she wanted something. Whenever Willow wanted something specific, she cried about it until her parents understood, and provided. Especially when it came to her stuffed horse that she had gotten for Christmas a couple months ago. She would scream bloody murder if that toy wasn't within eyesight deafening her family around her.
The sacred toy was on the counter next to a stack of plates, while Willow blew out her one candle. All of Jay and Hailey's friends plus Will, were gathered in their home to celebrate Willow's first birthday. It was a joyous event and Hailey's brothers had video called them that morning to wish their niece happy birthday. Aside from them, Hailey's parents had even delivered a rocking horse to the Halstead's door. Hailey was still wary of their intentions, and didn't allow in-person visits yet. But she did open up to sending them pictures every now and then, and was pleased they remembered Willow's birthday to send a gift. People change, and even though Hailey would never, ever, forgive her father for her own childhood, she wasn't going to cut Willow off from her only living grandparents.
While Hailey and Kim served cake, Jay watched as his daughter stuck her whole hand into her piece and then smushed it all over her face. "Classy," Jay joked to his daughter, reaching for a wet wipe.
"Wait! Let me take a picture first!" Hailey whipped out her phone and snapped a few silly shots. Then she turned the screen towards Jay. "I think I'll send that one to my mom later," she told him. The image really displayed the level of character Willow possessed, with cake in her hair, on her clothes and covering her face.
Jay nodded his approval. "Best one," he declared. Then he proceeded to clean up his daughter. Before Willow, Hailey and Jay had hardly ever taken pictures, Hailey having only a few more each year than Jay because on Girl's Night they always took a slightly tipsy selfie. But since having a baby, both parents were obsessed with photos of their kid. They took more photos daily of their daughter, than Jay had annually for most of his life. They were definitely proud parents!
After cake and talking to their friends, Jay moved from his spot on the wall and went over to his wife. Willow was back in her mom's arms, fighting the drowsiness that was threatening to crash over her. "Why don't we go put her down for a nap," Jay suggested, nudging Hailey towards the stairs and Willow's room. He also wanted a moment alone with his tiny family, just because.
"Okay." Hailey nodded and they told their guests they would be right back. They didn't need to worry about entertaining everyone, because Stella had Shayden show off his walking skills. Severide was watching his son proudly and Matt was looking over at Sylvie with a smile on his face; probably not quite believing that he would be getting to do the same thing relatively soon. Their first baby was due any day now; it was a surprise that they hadn't been born on or before Willow's birthday. Unlike with everyone else, Sylvie and Matt were waiting to find out the sex until the baby was born. They had more willpower than Hailey and Jay, that was for sure.
Hailey and Jay took turns reading pages of a book for Willow, but stopped once they realized their baby girl was fast asleep. Hailey placed her in the crib and turned on the sound machine. Jay leaned over and pressed a kiss to his daughter's forehead. Then he turned to face his wife, hoping to enjoy the quiet for a moment.
"I love you," Jay said, arms moving to hold Hailey against him. Hers wrapped around his neck as she looked up at him, her blue eyes sparkling.
"I love you too," she replied. "And Willow. And I'm so thankful for the life we've created for ourselves." Without having to say it, Jay knew Hailey was talking about the house, their career stability and the amazing support system they had.
While he had her alone, Jay wanted to get something off his chest. "Look, I know Willow only just turned one and you said a few months ago to Kim that you had no intention of carrying another human life for a while yet. But, when you're ready, I would love to have another baby with you."
Hailey didn't say anything for a moment. She just smiled, trying to blink back tears. Instead she glanced at their still-tiny one year-old, sleeping peacefully in her crib. When she had told Jay they should get married all those years ago, she had said it with the intention of having everything that went alongside marriage; kids plural, the house, a pet maybe, and the strong bond of love between husband and wife. With two of those things crossed off already, minus the pet because Willow was still a bit young to enjoy a dog or cat, Hailey was ready to knock another one down. She loved growing up close enough in age to her brothers that they were friends and definitely wanted the same for her own daughter. Even though it wasn't always easy being pregnant, she was ready to do it all over again for another sweet baby that was half her and half Jay.
Looking up into Jay's soft gaze, Hailey nodded. "Yes."
Jay was a bit shocked by her immediate response. "Yes what?"
Hailey tossed her head back as she let out a light laugh. "Yes to another baby. I think Willow deserves a sibling by the time she's two, and who are we to deny what our daughter needs? I'm saying yes to getting me pregnant again, and yes to baby number 2. Let's make some magic happen, eh?" She winked suggestively at her husband, who wasted no time in kissing her. They made out in Willow's room for a few minutes, until Hailey realized how inappropriate that was. "We should not be doing this here," she said.
"Right." Jay smoothed out his shirt and then smiled. "We'll go back to the party and celebrate with our friends. But tonight, it's you and me and sex in our bed, if I have anything to say about it."
"Deal." Hailey followed her husband out of their daughter's room, turning the lights out as she left. Jay slipped his hand in hers, their fingers fitting perfectly, and squeezed twice. Once for Hailey, and a second time for Willow. Even though Hailey wasn't pregnant anymore, he two squeezes was still the go-to. And hopefully soon, they would add a third. But for now, it was just him, Hailey and Willow, which would always be a perfect family to Jay
The End
Willow's story might be over, but Hailey and Jay's sure isn't. Read on for a sneak peek of the sequel to 'Willow', title & release date coming Friday!
APRIL
If someone told Hailey a couple years ago that she would be out drinking on a Monday night, Hailey would've told them they were crazy. Sure she liked her bar nights like any other middle-aged mom in Chicago. Except Monday was typically a work night and she had beers and whiskey at home if she wanted a drink. Yet here she was in the middle of March, knocking back her fourth beer of the evening. Jay wouldn't be too pleased when she got home slightly drunk but even he had told her that she needed to get out of the house for a while. So Hailey went to the bar and dragged two of her three close friends with her.
Kim was still nursing beer number one for no reason other than the fact that she had to drive tonight. Sylvie was pregnant with baby number two, so drinking was off the table all together which is why she was absent from tonight's spontaneous party. And Stella was half on shift, so getting drunk wasn't an option but having a couple beers certainly was. The other two were trying to keep their friend from getting shitfaced although they weren't having too much luck. Only an hour had gone by yet Hailey was acting as though they'd been at it for hours.
When Hailey moved to wave down someone for another beer, Kim reached out a hand to stop her. "I think that's enough," the fellow detective said kindly. "Don't you have to work tomorrow?"
"No. Willow's daycare is closed because of that lice outbreak. Thankfully she escaped unscathed but it means Jay and I are stuck tag-teaming work until we can get someone else to look after her," replied Hailey. She was still somewhat able to speak full sentences, which Kim took as a promising sign.
"Well still, it's not a good plan to be hungover and looking after a three year-old."
Like what you read here? Keep your eye out for the sequel to Willow coming in early January, 2022!
big shoutout to my loyal readers/blogs on tumblr (especially Mollie!) for reblogging this fic and leaving comments for me along the way. also my irl best friend who has barely watched CPD but still wanted to read this fic to hype me up. it's the end of a 2 month era. this fic took me 6 weeks and 1 day, and to say that it was easy, would be a lie. any fic writer knows the struggle of writing, and this was no walk in the park. but i am so grateful for all the love people have given this fic, and i hope that you will stick around for what's to come.
i also included a fic teaser trailer which you can watch on my tumblr (unfortunately I can't paste links here!). my url is thedefinitionofendgame
to this reader, yes you, the one reading these words right now. thank you for your time and your love for Upstead, their daughter & the cameo characters. i hope you have a wonderful 2022.
and to me, for finishing a 12 chapter fic, over 30k words, in 6 weeks. i have never finished a multi-chap fic before, and was skeptical about starting this back in november. but here we are, the end. 'Willow' proves that i can do hard things & i will take this knowledge with me as i go forward. much love to everyone; it's not goodbye it's "see you friday for a new fic trailer" lol...