Chapter 31

"'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse'," I read, then looked up at Nudge. "This book is crap."

Nudge shook her head. "No, Max! Keep reading!"

I frowned and started to read again. "'The stockings were hung by the chimney with care-"

Gazzy snickered. "Who hangs their socks on a chimney? That sounds dumb."

I rolled my eyes. "Gazzy, I didn't write this stupid book. Nudge forced me to read it."

"Read more!" Angel, who was curled up in my lap, begged.

I sighed. "Okay, fine." Picking up the book again, I pretended to read it. "Then Santa came and it was Christmas and this stupid book was over. The end."

"That was a really short book!" Gazzy said as I slammed the book closed, tossing it aside.

I stood up, leading Gazzy, Angel, and Nudge into the kitchen, where Iggy had just finished baking some cookies. He was getting better and better at cooking – much better than me, of course. His cookies always turned out not-burnt and delicious. Was I mad that a blind kid could cook better than me?

Nah. Not really.

"Who wants cookies?" Iggy asked, holding out a plate full of delicious-looking frosted cookies.

"No!" Nudge yelled, and we looked at her in surprise.

"No?" Gazzy asked – he'd been reaching for a cookie. His hand was frozen over the plate of cookies.

Nudge shook her head. "No, because those cookies are for Santa! If you eat them, then Santa won't come! And you know what that means! No presents! You don't want that to happen, right?"

Gazzy glanced at me, and I shrugged. Then I reached over and grabbed a cookie from the plate, stuffing it into my mouth.

Nudge went ballistic. "No!" she yelled. "Don't do that!"

"Oops," I replied, grinning as Gazzy and Angel started helping themselves to cookies. Nudge was screaming her head off at them.

Iggy was cracking up. "I can just make some more," he told Nudge.

Fang walked into the kitchen. "What's going on?" he asked, glancing over at Nudge, who was still hollering something about Santa not coming.

"We're eating cookies," I told him.

"What's wrong with that?" Fang asked, taking one and biting into it. Nudge started protesting again.

"Maybe Santa doesn't want cookies," I told Nudge, suddenly having an idea.

Nudge stopped yelling and looked at me. "Huh? Of course he does."

I shook my head. "He probably gets sick of eating cookies all the time. Maybe he'd like some nice….brocolli," I decided.

Nudge considered it. "But what if he doesn't like broccoli?"

I grinned. "Of course he does. I…asked him. He says it's his favorite food." Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Fang rolling his eyes. I elbowed him and mouthed, "Go with it."

Then I turned back to Nudge. "Nudge, guess what? If we give broccoli to Santa, we won't have to eat it."

Nudge's eyes lit up. "Yeah!"Gazzy nodded, grinning.

I turned to the fridge and started pulling out all the vegetables I could find. "He likes mushrooms too!" Gazzy told me, peering into the fridge. I laughed and handed those to him, then looked at Nudge. "Do you think Santa likes onions?"

"Yeah!" she said. Angel, who was standing next to her, giggled. "Yeah!" she echoed Nudge.

Finally, we had a bunch of veggies sitting on the counter. "Now what?" Fang asked, leaning against the kitchen counter.

I rolled my eyes at him. "Obviously we put it out where "Santa" can find it."

"I bet Santa likes tomato juice instead of milk!" Gazzy announced, pointing into the fridge.

I nodded. "Yeah! We'll give him the whole container, so he can take some for the road."

Iggy laughed as the younger kids carried the vegetables into the other room, dumping them onto the coffee table next to the big Christmas tree. Gazzy had wanted a bigger one, but Jeb had told us that a tree that was twenty feet tall probably wouldn't fit in our house.

"Since when did you believe in Santa?" he asked, grinning.

I elbowed him, grinning back. "I don't. But admit it, getting rid of all our vegetables is a great idea, no?"

Iggy just laughed again. "Whatever you say, leader Max."

"Look at all these presents!" Gazzy yelled. "I bet they're all for me!" Angel was laying on the floor, playing with the little electronic train that went around and around the tree.

I rolled my eyes. "Right, because he really wants Nudge's nail polish."

"Hey, time for bed!" Jeb called, walking into the room.

"Booo!"Gazzy yelled, and Nudge added, "We're not even tired!"

"Santa won't come if you don't go to sleep," Jeb told them.

Angel, Nudge, and Gazzy were in their beds within the next two minutes.

Jeb frowned, looking at all the vegetables sitting on the table. "What are these doing here?"

Iggy laughed as I told Jeb, "It's a gift for Santa. Nudge is convinced that he's going to eat them all." Fang just rolled his eyes again.

"Max!" Nudge called out to me as I passed her and Angel's room, heading to my room.

"Yeah?" I asked, poking my head in.

"I set up a video camera behind the tree," she whispered. "That way we'll see Santa!"

I laughed, sitting on her bed. "That's…nice, Nudge."

"Max, what was the real ending to that book?" she asked, sitting up.

I frowned. "I read it to you, didn't I?"

Nudge shook her head. "No, that wasn't the real ending! Read me the real ending!" she insisted, handing the book to me and curling up in her bed.

Angel was sitting up now, her favorite teddy bear clutched in her arms. I sighed, opening the book to the last page. "Alright, here. I'll read it." I started from the beginning again as Gazzy slowly walked in, rubbing his eyes.

Finally, I reached the last page. "'But I heard him exclaim as he drove out of sight, "Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night."'"

I glanced over at Angel, who was fast asleep. I smiled, standing up and pulling her blanket over her. Nudge mumbled sleepily, "Good night, Max."

I smiled at her. "Night, Nudge." I said goodnight to Gazzy as he went into his room, and then I headed towards my room. I was stopped by Fang.

"What's this?" he asked, smirking. "Invincible Max, reading a Christmas story?"

Iggy grinned, poking his head out of his room. "Who are you and what have you done with the real Max?"

I rolled my eyes, shoving both of them aside. "There. Is that better?"

Iggy laughed. "Oh, there's the Max we know!"

"Guys, I can't sleep!" Gazzy yelled from his room.

"When is Santa coming?" Nudge shouted from down the hall.

"I want cookies!" Angel yelled.

"GO TO SLEEP!" Jeb ordered, coming out of his room.

I laughed. "Jeb really wants Santa to come," I told Iggy, who started cracking up.

"This is why I can't sleep!" Gazzy hollered, running out into the hall.

"What's that? I think it's the sound of "Santa" passing our house," I told Gazzy. His eyes widened.

"Obviously he's coming! He needs to give Max coal," Nudge replied.

Jeb sighed. "If anyone is still out of bed in the next minute, I can guarantee that Santa isn't coming."

Needless to say, everyone was in bed instantly. Even me. But of course, that was because I'd seen some presents from "Santa" addressed to me, sitting in Jeb's closet. There was no way I was missing out on that.

"Hey guys?" Gazzy asked from his room. "What if Santa-"

"GO TO SLEEP!" everyone else yelled.