nightelf37: Now for Season 3.
Disclaimer: SCP-3922 belongs to the SCP Foundation website. Behavior reflected by SCP-3922-As in this story may not fully reflect their actual behavior in Foundation canon. Happy Tree Friends belongs to MondoMedia.
Note: Let's enumerate the physical changes to the characters so far: Handy has arm prosthetics, the Mole has prosthetic eyes and a hearing aid, Flaky has a special cape draped over her quills to keep others from getting poked, Lumpy has a prosthetic right leg after the events of "Out On A Limb", Disco Bear has a synthetic heart since "Change of Heart", and Giggles has a prosthetic skull plate after her accident in "I've Got You Under My Skin".
Now let's get into it.
SCP-3922 Test Logs: Happy Tree Friends: Internet Season 3
Subject: "Read 'em and Weep", November 2, 2007
Interference Point: When Pop picks up the demon-containing book.
Result: The opening format for the next few episodes is the same as in Internet Season 2. At the interference point, two SCP-3922-A instances show up, one to confiscate the book from Pop, and the other to interrogate Toothy in regards to where and how he came upon it in the first place. Only vaguely concerned about this, Pop decides to buy the book Cub chose instead. The episode proceeds as normal, but with the exclusion of Cub's possession and the dead birds. During the spoon feeding segment, Cub takes bites as normal. When Petunia enters, Pop buys her products, which turn out to be brownies, and she leaves without incident. The two bears share a few of these brownies before Pop puts the rest away in a refrigerator. Wipe cut to a field, where the two SCP-3922-A instances from before prepare to destroy the eldritch book, with Lumpy and a few other Generic Tree Friends in similar religious garb overseeing the proceedings. A "ELDRITCH PURGE" flamethrower is aimed at it, and when it is used, white flames are spewed out. The demon that was meant to possess Cub in the original run manifests from the book in an attempt to escape, causing Lumpy and his company to back away in fright, but it quickly succumbs to the flames before it could do anything else and burns away into ash. The SCP-3922-A instances state their business as concluded and the episode ends with an "iris out" on the flamethrower. The moral "Don't judge a book by its cover!" is replaced with a PSA on Eldritch Tomes.
Note:
Subject: "Can't Stop Coffin'", October 24, 2008
Interference Point: Beginning
Result: During the baseball game, Russell has a prosthetic hand over his hook, which he uses to properly catch the ball, then throw it. Cro-Marmot, out of his ice cube, is seen grabbing the ball and throwing it. When Cuddles jumps into the empty grave, a Three Moons Health Safety Officer, who is seen recently patting on his left pants pocket, is on standby with Lumpy and quickly stops him from burying Cuddles alive. On the HSO's orders, Lumpy jumps down next to the coffin and opens it to reveal Cuddles, moderately rattled but mostly unharmed. They then exit the grave and ask what brings Cuddles here. He explains the baseball game, and the HSO offers to take him back. Cub and Pop's grave visit goes on undisturbed. Wipe cut to the baseball game in pause as the HSO returns Cuddles and advises the group to bring extra baseballs in future, then produces the lost baseball from his pocket. The episode ends with an "iris out" on it. The Mole doesn't appear in this episode. The moral "Don't be afraid to get dirt under your fingernails!" is replaced with a PSA on Proper Graveyard Conduct.
Subject: "We're Scrooged", November 27, 2007
Interference Point: When Lumpy pilfers the Mole's bucket.
Result: One SCP-3922-A instance grabs him by the wrist and tells him to return the coins, and Lumpy begrudgingly complies. The Mole, having turned around at the commotion, whacks Lumpy for his crime, and the SCP-3922-A instance responds by telling him to stop assaulting him, which the Mole nods to before returning to his asking for donations. Lumpy continues on to his store. During the part where Lumpy is considering dropping Toothy into the box of deadly wind-up teeth toys, four Three Moons Health Safety Officers barge in. Two of them escort Giggles and Cuddles out of the store and take away Toothy's finger before putting it in a plastic bag. The other two take action and fire weapons at the crime about to take place. Two of them were previously seen from "See What Develops" as one immobilizes Toothy from falling, and the other pulls him away from the box. The third is a taser gun that paralyzes Lumpy. The dual wielding HSO promptly escorts Toothy out of the store, while the other detains Lumpy and arrests him for unethical business practices and attempted murder. The other two HSOs proceed to collect the boxes, one of them picking up the one with the chattering teeth toys. The episode ends with an "iris out" on that box. The moral "A great man is hard on himself; a small man is hard on others!" is replaced with a PSA on Business Ethics.
Subject: "A Sucker For Love", February 8, 2008
Interference Point: When Nutty approaches Cub.
Result: Due to the removal of his addiction, Nutty does not attempt to steal Cub's lollipop. Instead, he just greets him and Pop, then goes on his way. Nutty eventually reaches the gumball machine, and takes a gander at its contents, but he finds nothing of interest to him and moves on. Wipe cut to Nutty bypassing the chocolate store, which was closed. He checks the opening hours sign, then decides to leave. Wipe cut to hours later, when the store finally opens. Nutty is at the door already, sauntering inside as he looks for a particular item. Said item turns out to be a bar of dark chocolate, which he orders before leaving. A few seconds after leaving the store, Nutty opens the bar, breaks off a piece, and puts it in his mouth to eat. The episode ends with an "iris out" on his intrigued expression. The moral "Take the bitter with the sweet!" is replaced with a PSA on Sweets Addiction.
Subject: "Just Desert", May 22, 2008
Interference Point: When Lumpy somehow finds himself in the desert.
Result: Lumpy takes out a flare gun and fires it into the air. At the shore, Cub catches sight of it, is enamoured, and shakes Pop from his fishing to let him see the flare. Once he sees it, he takes out a phone and makes a call. Wipe cut to a Three Moons-branded helicopter with a mounted laser gun named TORNADO DISPEL doing exactly as its name suggests to an oncoming tornado while a duo of SCP-3922-A instances escort Lumpy, who has lost his antlers like in canon, onto the helicopter's rope ladder. Once everyone is safe, the helicopter proceeds to leave the area. Inside, one SCP-3922-A instance asks Lumpy, in speech bubbles and pictures, what he was doing in the desert with winter gear. After receiving an explanation, the SCP-3922-A instance is in disbelief that Lumpy has such a terrible sense of direction. Cut to the helicopter flying off into the sunset, and the episode ends with an "iris out" on it. The moral "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink!" is replaced with a PSA on Proper Map Reading.
Subject: "Peas In A Pod", October 18, 2008
Interference Point: Beginning
Result: In the switching of the title card, after the new one is shown (with the "billing" replacing Sniffles, Cuddles, and Giggles [who didn't appear in the original episode at all] with Three Moons Health Safety Officers), the screen zaps to static again and returns to the regular opening where the HSOs are introduced. After that, the show continues as normal. The HSOs, dressed in hazmat suits, show up when Lumpy picks up the extraterrestrial pod and stop him before he could plant it. Wipe cut to Lumpy's house sealed in plastic just like Eliot's house in the film E.T., and the seed sealed inside a sturdy transparent box in one HSO's hands. Lumpy himself is just finished being sprayed by two HSOs, and is forced to lay back in his chair with a cup of lemonade in a somber mood as the episode ends with an "iris out" on him. The moral "Two is company. Three is a crowd!" is replaced with a PSA on Managing Extraterrestrial Objects.
Subject: "Wrath of Con", July 20, 2009
Interference Point: Beginning
Result: As a new opening, the show's altered opening changes as well. After the last starring character is introduced, an additional page then turns to reveal a trio of bears dressed in SCP-3922-A uniforms and standing to attention, featured under the name "H is for (Three Moons) Health Safety Officers", with the Three Moons Initiative flag as a backdrop, and in place of a rhyme is their motto "You are Watched, You are Protected, You Are Loved". After that, the show continues as normal. At the convention venue, there is one HSO beside the Mole, who inspects the passes Toothy and Cuddles waive as they walk past, and stops Sniffles as normal, who fishes for his pass and finds it, gaining entry. Inside, a few more HSOs are scattered about as security, with two at Splendid's stall. Cro-Marmot's stall adjacent to his has his Cursed Idol replicas painted in an assortment of colours instead of merely looking polished. When Splendid's mechanical pencil's lead snaps, he properly disposes of the piece in a little trash bin. He then hands over the autographed comic book to Mime, then proceeds to autograph Disco Bear and Russell's. One of his accompanying HSOs then reminds Splendid of his speech, prompting them to take off, leaving the other to tend to the stall. On his way there, he bypasses Petunia and Giggles, just as the latter's toy lightsaber shorts out. The HSO tells Splendid to go on while he handles their problem, to which he concedes. At the venue for his speech, Splendid arrives as scheduled, doesn't break the microphone, and speaks of how the Three Moons Initiative not only helped this town, but are also helping him in becoming a better hero. During this, Petunia and Giggles (whose toy lightsaber is fixed) enter the venue. At the end of the speech, the whole audience cheers, and the episode ends with an "iris out" on Splendid. The moral "No good deed goes unpunished" is replaced with a PSA on Superhero Responsibilities.
Subject: "All Flocked Up", August 18, 2009
Interference Point: When Lumpy looks up at the tree he's supposed to climb to return the chick to its nest.
Result: Instead of all the stuff he does in canon, Lumpy calls on his phone for help. Wipe cut to him and a couple of Three Moons Health Safety Officers staring upwards. One of the HSOs has a remote control system for the drone she's using to return the bird to its nest. The operation goes smoothly and perfectly. Lumpy cheers and the other HSOs applaud as the drone returns to its owner. The drone operator then tells Lumpy to remember what can be accomplished when he calls for the Three Moons. The episode ends with a fade in on the bird nest and an "iris out" on it. The Mole does not make an appearance. The moral "Birds of a feather flock together!" is replaced with a PSA on Animal Rescue Services.
Subject: "Something Fishy", September 15, 2009
Interference Point: Beginning
Result: After the "Featuring a few friends" segment, which is altered to account for everyone's actual screen time in the episode, the Three Moons Health Safety Officers starring page is shown, and will occur for every episode onward. After that, the show continues as normal. HSOs are scattered across the school. Russell's pet fish has a mesh over its opening, keeping it from jumping out of its bowl. As such, it's unable to jump onto Giggles' cup, preventing its feeding frenzy in canon. One HSO is on standby just outside the bathrooms, leading Flaky to the female side. When Lumpy takes Russell to the stage, he gives the astronaut helmet after setting down the fish bowl, thus the "alien contact" play goes with nary a hitch or death. The episode ends with an "iris out" on a handshake with Russell and Mime and an applause from the audience. The moral "Teach a man to fish and you feed him for life!" is replaced with a PSA on Proper Pet Protocols.
Subject: "Without A Hitch", October 14, 2009
Interference Point: Beginning
Result: In the backseat of Flaky's car is a Three Moons Health Safety Officer giving instructions on proper safety protocols in regards to picking up hitchhikers. Upon first seeing Flippy signal for a ride, Flaky is wary, and the HSO commends her for that behaviour, then adds that Flippy is not in a proper designated area such as a gas station, thus potentially hindering the flow of traffic, and the fact it's not daytime makes this practice more dangerous. The HSO instructs her to leave him be, then gives Flippy directions to the nearest gas station, which turns out to be less than a mile ahead. Flaky stops at that gas station to refuel up while the HSO keeps watch. As Lumpy's truck stops by as well for refuelling, Flippy arrives and asks again for a ride. This time, after looking at the HSO for approval, she accepts, but the HSO also asks to help pay for gas, which Flippy finds acceptable. As Lumpy finishes refuelling his truck and leaves, Flaky's car follows suit, with Flippy seated next to the HSO. The episode ends with an "iris out" on the car. The moral "The road to hell is paved with good intentions" is replaced with a PSA on Picking up Hitchhikers.
Subject: "Swelter Skelter", November 6, 2009
Interference Point: Just before Giggles takes the slide down.
Result: One Three Moons Health Safety Officer immediately tells her to stop, stating that the metal in the slide is too hot due to the heat and orders her to climb back down. Giggles complies. When Nutty passes by Lifty and Shifty, the pair just ask him where he bought his ice cream. Nutty points somewhere, and the camera pans to Cro-Marmot's ice cream truck. The pair then have an idea as they approach the truck and ask a few questions. Wipe cut to an apartment lobby, where an array of electric fans have ice cubes behind them and are blowing cold air. The camera then pans right to Cro-Marmot conjuring another ice block as he sets it up behind another fan. Every character seen so far is present, enjoying the cool air as they lounge about on the seats. The episode ends with an "iris out" on Cro-Marmot giving a thumbs-up. The moral "Don't sweat the small stuff!" is replaced with a PSA on Productive Cryokinesis.
Subject: "I Nub You", February 6, 2010
Interference Point: When Petunia leaves the hospital.
Result: Petunia now has prosthetic arms just like Handy's pair, but custom-colored to match her primary fur color. The dating activities between Petunia and Handy proceed just like in canon, but with them better able to appreciate each other's company. For instance, Handy is able to push Petunia on the swings, they hold hands with their prosthetics instead of their bandages (Handy's are now colored to match his fur and will continue to on all future episodes), and bowling is still possible, thus averting their crushing by pinsetter and their re-visit to the hospital. Wipe cut to the two leaving the bowling alley while holding hands. The episode ends with Petunia's pet bird perching on Handy's hard hat, and an "iris out" on it. The moral "The spaces between your fingers are there for someone to fill them." is replaced with a PSA on Prosthetic Arms.
Subject: "A Bit of a Pickle", April 16, 2010
Interference Point: When Mr. Pickels is about to decapitate Petunia's teddy bear.
Result: A translucent Three Moons Health Safety Officer shows up behind Mr. Pickels and thumps him in the head with a stick labelled "IMAGINARY DISCIPLINE". Mr. Pickels ceases his behaviour and returns to his seat while Lammy is seen rubbing her head for a moment when Petunia returns with tea. As tea time resumes, Flaky comes over after a while and voluntarily joins them instead of scootering away. The episode ends with the three females letting out contented sighs after another sip of tea, and an "iris out" on each of them. Handy, Cuddles, and Lumpy do not make an appearance in this episode. The moral "We don't see things as they are, we see things as we are." is replaced with a PSA on Imaginary Friends.
Note: So, I'm guessing Mr. Pickles really is just a part of Lammy's psyche that they fixed up. Glad to see he hasn't been excised from the series like Fliqpy. - Researcher Timer
Subject: "See You Later, Elevator", October 2, 2010
Interference Point: When Pop is about to throw away his match.
Result: A Three Moons Health Safety Officer stops him and orders him to put it out first. Pop complies by blowing it before dumping the match in the nearby trash bin. Without the fire that would've ensued, the elevator reaches its destination(s) (Cuddles, Giggles, Sniffles, and Mime departed on different floors) without any complications. The episode ends with the last of the elevator users getting off, and an "iris out" on the closing elevator. Lumpy and Toothy do not make an appearance. The moral "There is no elevator to success. You have to take the stairs." is replaced with a PSA on Elevator Safety.
Subject: "Clause for Concern", December 8, 2011
Interference Point: When Pop was about to slam his car's hood on the sack.
Result: A Three Moons Health Safety Officer stops Pop and tells him to open the sack. He complies, revealing toys, a tray with paint, and sausages. The HSO chides Pop for his messy sorting, then asks who's watching over Cub. Wipe cut to Cub on the passenger seat, sitting on a baby chair and with seat belt strapped while Pop drives to his destination. The HSO is seated at the back, recently hired as babysitter. Without blood luring the stray dogs, they reach where Pop was going to; the mall, for he was working tonight as a Mall Santa. Cub is being tended to by the HSO at a daycare. The episode ends as Truffles approaches Pop, and two "iris outs" on both of them. The moral "Ignorance is bliss!" is replaced with a PSA on Hiring A Babysitter.
Subject: "The Chokes On You", March 23, 2012
Interference Point: Beginning
Result: There is a Three Moons Health Safety Officer with the Mole and Lumpy, who makes certain everything proceeds smoothly. She also stops Lumpy from eating an unfried donut, thus keeping him from choking, and warns him that that's not yet safe to eat. The entire donut-making process is shown, eventually ending with Lumpy placing a tray of fresh donuts, and Flaky ordering one. The episode ends with her chewing on a piece before swallowing, and an "iris out" on her face. The moral "The optimist sees the doughnut. The pessimist sees the hole." is replaced with a PSA on Chewing Your Food.
Subject: "Royal Flush", May 6, 2012
Interference Point: When Mr. Pickels is about to sneak in one of the sandwiches.
Result: The translucent Three Moons Health Safety Officer from "A Bit of a Pickle" shows up in front of him and taps his "IMAGINARY DISCIPLINE" stick as a reminder. Mr. Pickels ignores the warning and jumps in as Lammy passes through the HSO, who makes a call. The poker game now has a dealer button. During Mr. Pickels' murder attempt on Flaky, another HSO, corporeal this time, intercedes by picking her up and kicking the sapient food item away. The HSO then puts Flaky down, draws a blaster, and fires it at Mr. Pickels, rendering him paralyzed before the HSO takes him away. As a result, Giggles does not see Mr. Pickels on the table and none of the deaths that would've followed occur. Flaky, Lammy, and the second HSO emerge from the bathroom and the former two return to their game while the latter leaves the house with Mr. Pickels in hand. The episode ends with Petunia presenting her royal flush hand and raking in her chips, and an "iris out" on Lammy. The moral "Take the plunge!" is replaced with a PSA on Betting Game Etiquette.
Note: Wait, what? First, Mr. Pickels was just an imaginary friend, but now it's actually real? What the hell is going on here? - Researcher Timer
Subject: "Brake The Cycle", June 17, 2012
Interference Point: Beginning
Result: One Three Moons Health Safety Officer watches over Toothy as he assembles his bicycle, and even shoos away the bird that would've stolen the screw. Instead of going down a hill, the HSO escorts Toothy to a Three Moons-approved driving course, which is revealed to be next to the area Mime and Cro-Marmot were having their picnic. Lumpy and his motorcycle are also present in the course as he drives it around. With an encouraging urge from the HSO, Toothy bikes around with little problem, and the episode ends with an "iris out" on him. The moral "Life is like riding a bicycle. In order to keep your balance, you must keep moving." is replaced with a PSA on Bicycle Riding.
Subject: "Random Acts of Silence", August 21, 2012
Interference Point: Beginning
Result: A few Three Moons Health Safety Officers are seen patrolling the library, and they join in on ensuring silence. When Mime attempts to drag his chair, one HSO stops him and gestures to him to lift it instead. The Mime complies as he takes his seat. The pencil sharpener has been properly oiled and is relatively quieter. Without his antics, Nutty and Sniffles have no incentive to leave via fire escape, which is guarded by one HSO. Flaky soon enters the library as she returns her book. The episode ends with Flippy properly stamping her library card, and an "iris out" on the book. The moral "There are times when silence has the loudest voice." is replaced with a PSA on Silence in Libraries.
Subject: "Breaking Wind", October 3, 2012
Interference Point: When the TV turns on. Result: In addition to the tornado, SCP-3922-A instances are already on the scene evacuating everybody in the area. Even so, the SCP-3922-As with Splendid urge him to act, and he does so. One of the SCP-3922-As makes sure he leaves his book behind. Once at the tornado, Splendid immediately gets to work and—in deviation from canon—is instructed by his SCP-3922-A companions to fly in the opposite direction the tornado is spinning, which he does so at great speed. Once the tornado has ceased, Splendid stops flying, and, the SCP-3922-As congratulate him for a job well done, but now comes the job of cleanup, where everybody's pitching in. The episode ends with Splendid letting out a sigh, though not as exaggeratingly dejected as he would have in prior canon episodes. The moral "It's an ill wind that blows no good." is replaced with a PSA on Tornado Response.
Subject: "All In Vein", October 28, 2012
Interference Point: Beginning
Result: In place of Lumpy in his bed is a pile of ash and a wooden stake driven into the mattress. Three Moons Health Safety Officers are seen escorting out Giggles, Truffles, Lammy, and Mr. Pickels. The episode ends with an "iris out" on the stake. The moral "Be positive!" is replaced with a PSA on Vampires.
Subject: "All Bottled Up", November 21, 2012
Interference Point: When Russell ends up impaled by his bottle.
Result: Instead of pulling out the bottle himself, he takes out a cellphone and calls for help. Wipe cut to Russell being carried away on a stretcher carried by two Three Moons Health Safety Officers and the bottle plugged up as he's taken into an ambulance. Another wipe cut to the hospital, then to the operating room where Russell now lay under anaesthesia with a few medical staff about to begin extraction of the bottle and keep his blood supply stable. The whole procedure takes approximately 20 minutes, counting scene transitions. The operation ends with all the bottle pieces (and the miniature ship) removed, and everything that was torn open sutured up. Fade to black, then fade in to Russell waking up in a hospital bed. One HSO enters and reports to Russell that he will eventually make a full recovery, and that there will be no need for any more prosthetics like the other operations, though he does comment it's about time the "pirate" got some real prosthetic limbs. Russell thinks on this for a while before consenting, and the episode ends with an "iris out" on him. Pop and Cub do not show up in this episode. The moral "Don't bottle up your feelings." is replaced with a PSA on Large Object Extraction Operations.
Subject: "No Time Like The Present", December 20, 2012
Interference Point: Beginning
Result: The episode begins with Lumpy Claus showing a Santa Claus license card to one SCP-3922-A instance, both of them standing on the rooftop. The SCP-3922-A nods his head as he confirms the licence, after which Lumpy enters the chimney, and the episode begins proper. Handy is able to immediately open his gift of mittens, which he then puts on his prosthetic hands. The Mole's gift is left at his Christmas tree, and Lumpy deigns not to take any cookies before leaving. When the Mole opens it later, it's revealed to be a thick blanket with the Three Moons Initiative design. The episode ends with an "iris out" on it. The moral "A hug is a great gift - one size fits all and it's easy to exchange!" is replaced with a PSA on Santa Claus Procedures.
Note: So, it seems Santa Claus instances have licenses specific to interactions with Three Moons. - Dr. Shizuno
Subject: "By The Seat Of Your Pants", March 29, 2013
Interference Point: When the Mole fires his starting pistol to start the swimming competition on the TV.
Result: Flippy doesn't flip out as he and Lumpy watch without incident, and Cuddles is revealed to be the winner. Wipe cut to Flippy and Lumpy coming back to their seats with more refreshments. On the TV is the segment with Russell, Cro-Marmot (decked in a full body swimsuit colored similarly to his regular attire), and Disco Bear proceeds as normal, but without Lumpy obviously. Cro-Marmot was also warned by the Mole not to use his powers during the event.
Russell wins this competition, and the episode ends with Lumpy and Flippy both reaching for a bowl of chips that replaced the cheese and grater from earlier, and an "iris out" on their hands touching as they reach for it.
The moral "Put on your pants one leg at a time." is replaced with a PSA on Swimming.
Note: Hmm, no HSOs appeared here. That's strange yet also welcoming. - Researcher Timer
Nightelf37: And that's it for now. Given Foundation canon SCP-3922 has not covered any instances of Santa Claus, I wasn't sure if I should do this or remove him altogether. Next time, Season 4. See ya on Third!