Chapter Fourteen: Mistakes and Misdeeds

"The only difference between the saint and the sinner is that every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future." -Oscar Wilde

There were times when Severus believed he might have found instructing the next generation of witches and wizards in the subtle art and exact science of potions tolerable... if it were not for the staff meetings, the paperwork, most of the staff and almost all of the students. At the moment he was attending a meeting with the staff of Hogwarts and the Board of Governors. It was meant to be the routine meeting before the start of the term where textbooks were approved, new staff introduced and Hooch unsuccessfully campaigned for new school brooms.

But that evening's meeting had not followed its usual script. School security had been an added item on the agenda, for while Ahlgrim's father was the only School Governor who believed the Dark Lord had returned, Cedric Diggory's death, a werewolf running around school grounds, as well as the petrification of four students and the demise of Professor Quirrel had not gone unnoticed.

When Senior Undersecretary Dolores Umbridge had attempted to murder Wizengamot Elder and Supreme Mugwump Hailey Ahlgrim, it had not created quite the stir in The Daily Prophet one would expect from a rag that had once devoted not one, but two front-page headlines to Celestina Warbeck deciding not to end things with the cellist from The Weird Sisters. When Severus had asked Shacklebolt about the matter, the Auror had told him that while the Ministry had not precisely engaged in a coverup, officials had no desire to publicise the matter either, and Ahlgrim, involved in what was then a tight race with Lucius Malfoy had no intention in distracting voters from the key issues by discussing her near assassination by a witch who made Barnabas the Barmy appear to be the epitome of mental health. When Umbridge had been sentenced to life in Azkaban there had been a small article detailing her crimes, but people were far more outraged at her attempt to set dementors on two underage boys. That one of the underaged boys was Harry Potter had not been discovered, which was a great relief to Severus. If the louts had made that connection the story would have been over the front page for sure. At the moment Umbridge was enjoying the best hospitality Azkaban could offer; a real shame for Severus wished he had the opportunity to hex her for the second item on the agenda.

Before her imprisonment, Umbridge had created a number of Educational Decrees in a transparent attempt to assert Ministry oversight over Hogwarts. A life sentence in Azkaban meant there was no danger of further influence, but it left the staff of Hogwarts in a sticky situation. No one had yet gotten around to taking the Educational Decree Twenty-One off the books. "If a parent of a Hogwarts student has sound evidence a member of Hogwarts Staff poses a direct threat to the safety and wellbeing of students, the Ministry shall dissolve his or her employment with Hogwarts School." A parent had filed a complaint with the Ministry, saying Lupin was a danger to students on account of the fact he turned into a bloodthirsty beast once a month. While Severus was not eager to have Lupin on the staff, it was better than the alternative presented by Educational Decree Twenty-Two. "In the event of the current Headmaster being unable to provide a candidate for a teaching post, the Ministry should select an appropriate person." The last thing Hogwarts needed was some bumbling Ministry official coming in and putting a spanner in the works. Severus despised Lupin, but at the very least he was confident the Dark Lord wasn't sticking out of the back of Lupin's head. Always a valuable asset in a Defence Professor.

Lupin was looking as frayed as his robes. The werewolf had not so much as made eye contact with him since Severus had let slip Black's use of an Unforgivable. Severus had not been privy to the row Lupin and Black had as a result of his manipulation, but the results were impossible to miss. At the last Order meeting, Lupin and Black sat as far away from each other as possible while still being in the same room and the air had been thick with tension. Black had defiantly nursed a beer during the meeting, which had rather mysteriously ended up spilling into his lap. Lupin had airily blamed Tonks for bumping the table, but Severus had seen the werewolf surreptitiously pocket his wand.

If Severus had known about the existence of these decrees he would have foreseen their present circumstances. After Bylaw 374 was struck from the books, Walden Macnair would have returned to his post at the Department for the Regulation of Magical Creatures, where he would have access to the Werewolf Registry which would have listed Lupin's recent change in employment.

Lucius Malfoy was undoubtedly behind the attempt to oust Lupin. Anyone else who had enough government acumen to know about this Educational Decree would have appealed to the Board of Governor's concerning their complaint first, rather than the Ministry. But Lucius knew he had no allies on the Board anymore. In his attempts to force out Albus during the debacle with the Chamber of Secrets, Lucius had been far less discrete than he usually was, the charming mask slipping to display the viciousness beneath. His tactics had been heavy-handed, and as a result, the Board had unanimously voted to sack him.

In the matter of Educational Decree Twenty-One, the Board had been far more gracious than Severus had expected, though Severus believed it had less to do with any sympathy the Board may have felt and more to do with cowardice. As a group, the Board had decided to abide by whatever decision the Wizengamot made. Radulph Ahlgrim had hesitated at that point, his gaze shifting between Dumbledore and Lupin, but he had not argued with the rest of the Governors.

After the first two items on the agenda were talked to death, staff introduced and textbooks approved the discussion inevitably turned to whether there was enough funding in the budget for new school brooms and Severus slouched in his seat, doing his best to conceal his impatience. Normally he didn't care if people thought him rude, but the Board of Governors had the power to injure Hogwarts School where it was most vulnerable: the coin purse. Besides, things ran much more smoothly with Lucius Malfoy off the Board. Most of the Governors were quite willing to rubber-stamp anything the Headmaster suggested. Though part of that might have been guilt over the fact that during the affair of the Chamber of Secrets (and after some bullying and blackmailing from Malfoy) they had voted to remove the Headmaster from his post.

'I spoke to Quality Quidditch Supplies,' Hooch said, 'they're willing to give us a sizable discount on a bulk order on a dozen brooms or more.' Severus rolled his eyes, wondering if it might be worth the monetary inconvenience of the new brooms just to shut her up. Of course, talk of brooms lead to talk of Quidditch and Severus was certain the meeting would drag on forever.

'Heidelberg played an excellent game yesterday, their new Chaster is doing a smashing job.' Glen Parkin said, nodding to himself. 'Wouldn't you agree, Radulph? I know you still root for them.'

'Hm?' Radulph Ahlgrim looked up, distracted. 'Oh, of course. I remember when I was just a boy, the night my father decided we were leaving Germany. Just after our Chancellor Teufel allied himself with that Muggle butcher, we were packing, preparing to flee, and my mother was listening to the news on the WWN. My father changed the dial and said "Bah! Enough of this war, I don't care who kills who, just tell me if the Harriers caught the snitch!'

A few of the Governors chuckled, but the laughter soon faded into an awkward silence. Though Radulph Ahlgirm was speaking of a different war in a different country, the reminder was not a pleasant one. Out of respect for him, the Governors had avoided mentioning Hailey Ahlgrim's political campaign, though earlier Severus had heard Gloria Nutcombe and Travers Bobbin discussing her speech about the Dark Lord. They didn't believe He had returned but were reluctant to believe that she had completely lost the plot either.

The rest of Britain had not been so kind. Ahlgrim may have done what she did in a misguided effort to protect the public, but they were less than appreciative.

The conversation was picked up by Sprout, who was advocating for the addition of some plant or other. Once Radulph Ahlgrim had determined he had nothing to contribute to the present conversation, the grey-haired wizard ducked his head and began to scribble on a scrap of parchment. Severus was seated across from him and was also quite adept at reading upside down. Part of the slip was obscured by Ahlgrim's hand, but Severus was able to make out the rest.

Ahlgrim was writing calculations to determine how much he needed to cover his annual donation. While Lucius Malfoy and Radulph Ahlgrim had both contributed to the Hogwarts Assistant Fund, which paid for clothing, textbooks, supplies and wands for lower-income students, Severus had to admit he much preferred Ahlgrim's approach to the matter. Malfoy had made a huge spectacle out of it, prattling on at length about how he was saving children from the terrible fate of poverty, while Ahlgrim would quietly pull Dumbledore aside and hand him a cheque.

A quarter of an hour later, after the conversation had once again turned to Quidditch, the Board of Governors had decided it was time for supper and dispersed one by one. The majority of professors left with them, leaving Severus, Albus, Minerva, Lupin and Radulph Ahlgrim behind. Ahlgrim handed Albus the cheque. 'If you find that this is not enough- if you have more students in the program than you anticipate- please do let me know.'

The double doors flew open, colliding against the wall with a resounding bang. As one, they turned toward the doors, Severus reaching for his wand.

Hailey Ahlgrim stood in the doorway, looking as if she had seen a boggart. Her hair was loose and windswept, her face pale, knuckles white around a newspaper. Catching the eyes of Albus and her father she strode forward, brandishing the crumpled newspaper. 'Have either of you seen this?' she demanded.

Then she spotted him standing near the fireplace. Ahlgrim froze and Severus could almost see her clearing her mind and fortifying the walls around it. The glare she gave him was so venomous her father noticed, his eyes darting between his daughter and Severus, a frown on his face.

Cheeks hot with embarrassment or perhaps rage, Ahlgrim flung the newspaper onto the table, sending it sliding the length of the polished wood, stopping just in front of the Headmaster's seat. The headline of The Evening Prophet screamed in tall letters:

HAILEY AHLGRIM:

REFORMER OR REPROBATE?

Severus stepped forward to afford himself a better view of the accompanying picture. The camera was jostled, as if the photographer had been knocked over, so Severus had to wait for the loop to begin again. A group of angry protestors carrying signs in French were yelling at a group of blue-robed justiciers, members of France's law enforcement. And then someone cast a hex unleashing complete pandemonium, with protestors fleeing or shooting spells and the justiciers seizing and hexing protestors seemingly at random.

It was the Soir Trimestre Protest. The International Confederation of Wizards had been meeting in Paris to discuss what involvement, if any, France would have with the War against the Dark Lord and the Death Eaters. As France had received the vast majority of the refugees from Britain, it was an emotionally charged affair. There were demonstrations on both sides, culminating in the Soir Trimestre Protest. By the time the dust had settled, four protestors and one justicier were dead. The Dark Lord had found the whole affair rather amusing, pleased at the discord and death being spread without Him even lifting a finger.

Feeling as if he was missing something, Severus watched the photograph again. There! Just before the photographer had been knocked over, a justicier snatched the arm of a young witch, hitting her with a curse. She stumbled, dropping to her knees and was almost trampled by the crowd, but managed to use the vice-like grip the wizard had on her to pull herself back to her feet and hit the wizard with a spell of her own. It had been decades ago- she was only a teenager at the time- but the witch was still recognisable as Hailey Ahlgrim.

The Dark Lord had ordered for Ahlgrim to be 'defamed, discredited and destroyed.' It would seem that Lucius had finally found someone with the dirt necessary for the job.

Minerva was flabbergasted. 'Order them to print a retraction! This is grounds for libel, it cannot be true…can it?'

But one glance at Ahlgrim's face said that every word of it was. Her mouth moved silently for a moment, then she spun on her heel and fled from the room, the echo of her footsteps slowly fading until they disappeared altogether.

Radulph Ahlgrim took a step forward, to follow his daughter, then he reconsidered and lowered himself into a chair, burying his face in his hands.

Minerva snatched The Evening Prophet from the table, but with the advantage of his height, Severus was easily able to skim it over her shoulder. In short, Hailey Ahlgrim had been at the Soir Trimestre Protest and had fired a curse at the justicier that had resulted in him losing an arm. Because of her age and the nature of the protests, not to mention her family's connections, Ahlgrim had gotten off lightly. As punishment, she was fined, forced to pay restitution to the injured justicier and ordered to work in the Ministry's Department of Magical Law Enforcement when she had finished school and returned to England. Severus was stunned. If he had paid any thought to the matter, he would have supposed Ahlgrim had entered the Ministry at some undeservedly lofty position on account of her family's influence. Imaging her beginning her career as an office dogsbody as a form of community service did not fit in the picture he had of her at all. The famed legislator seemed far too much of a swot to be penalised for an overdue library book, much less a major assault. He glanced at the byline. Zora Lynch had gotten herself a superlative scoop. The piece was straightforward and, except for the title, lacked any embellishments or sensationalism; if it had not damned them to having Lucius Malfoy as Minister, Severus might have called it a fine piece of journalism.

Further damned them rather. Ahlgrim had rather nicely managed to implode her own campaign with her precipitous announcement of the Dark Lord's return. But the article was, as the muggles would say, the cherry on top.

When Hailey Ahlgrim had declared her candidature for Minister for Magic Severus had foolishly allowed himself to hope that as dark as the coming days were with the resurrection of the Dark Lord and the impending war the Ministry refused to acknowledge, that perhaps, just maybe there was a small ray of light and all hope was not lost. And Ahlgrim had taken that light and with her own foolish actions snuffed it out. Lucius Malfoy would become Minister and countless lives would be lost that might otherwise have been saved all because Hailey Ahlgrim had to announce the Dark Lord's return. Her moral grandstanding had cost lives, it was as simple as that.

As such, his feelings towards the imprudent witch were less than kind. Before the Order meeting he had berated Ahlgrim on the matter, but not as severely as he should have. Despite his anger, he knew enough not to poke a dragon with a sharp stick. If pressed, Ahlgrim with her position and influence could make things exceedingly difficult for the Order of the Phoenix, and as much as he despised her, he would not let his personal feelings cost people their lives. After the meeting his fury at having his mind broken into had encompassed all else.

But now, any chance Ahlgrim could pull off the election were well and truly dashed and as he stared at the door through which Ahlgrim had fled, his fury washed over him. All the anger, frustration and fear he had been repressing since the beginning of the summer, the tension that had coiled around his body tighter and tighter abruptly snapped and before he let his more rational side persuade him otherwise, he stalked from the room.

Ahlgrim had been running at a full sprint, but by soliciting directions from various portraits Severus was easily able to follow her. After a couple of wrong turns, the witch had managed to find the front doors. Severus heard them slam shut when he was several corridors away. When he slipped out the front doors Ahlgrim was a way down the hill, but she had finally stopped running.

The witch was sitting on the grass, hunched over and had her back to him, making her appear smaller than she really was. As Severus stormed towards her, he heard the loud, snuffling wheezes that escaped her. Few things were worse than a blubbering witch and her sobs only served to catapult his rage to new heights.

'Well, Ahlgrim,' he snarled as she stalked around to face her, 'you have well and truly fucked-'

Ahlgrim's eyes were wide, a shaking hand pressed tight against her heaving chest while her breath came in an unsteady wheeze as she futilely attempted to swallow gulps of air. Not blubbering then.

'Spiro's?' he asked, eyeing her critically. Ahlgrim nodded shakily, face pale. Spiro's disease (or asthma as the muggles called it) was easily treated by a dose of Spiro's Solution, but it had to be taken during each episode.

Severus dug into his pouch of emergency potions and pulled out a phial of the blue potion. When Ahlgrim attempted to grasp it with shaking hands, Severus deftly moved it out of her reach. 'Good. There are some things you need to hear, and I do not want you interrupting me. Everyone in the Order is too dazzled by your wealth or has too much respect for your station to dare criticise you.' Severus leaned forward so he was eye to eye with the snuffling witch. 'But not me. The exorbitant wealth you possess makes me like you less, not more and there are plenty of fools and scoundrels in the Ministry. In fact, thanks to you we are about to have a murderer for Minister for Magic. That is a truth no one else will dare tell you. You lost the election, not because of some grand Death Eater conspiracy, but because of your own foolish mistakes. Telling the public the Dark Lord had returned!' he scoffed. 'Your compulsive need to feel like you were doing the right thing became more important than actually doing the right bloody thing. People who might have otherwise lived are going to die because you wanted to feel righteous. You wanted to prevent another King's Cross Massacre? You should have kept your mouth shut, became Minister and overhauled security protocols. Had anyone believed your announcement you would have simply thrown the public into a panic. People are utter cowards who could not care less if the entire world went to hell as long as they had food to eat and a roof over their heads.'

He took a deep breath, then glared at the witch. There was much more he wished to say, but Ahlgrim was appearing to be in considerable distress. As useless as she was, letting Ahlgrim die would hardly improve his night. Exhaling loudly, as if he was bestowing upon her a profound favour he held out the phial. 'Going for a run with Spiro's was not one of your best ideas,' he said, 'though you haven't been having many of those lately.'

That brought a flash of anger, but Ahlgrim was in no shape for a row. She snatched the phial from his outstretched hand, shook the bottle and then popped the cork. The instant the potion met the air it turned into a fine mist which she greedily inhaled. The colour began to return to her face and her wheezing quieted as the potion took effect.

She gracelessly clambered to her feet, swaying for a moment before she found her equilibrium. 'As much as you may malign the public Professor, do not forget you are a part of it, the Order of the Phoenix is a part of it.' She raised her chin defiantly. 'I, for one, choose to believe in the good in people. Have I been let down? Yes, more times than I would like. But I would rather face the occasional disappointment than spend my life convinced there's nought but evil and cruelty in the world.'

Ahlgrim brushed the dirt off her robes, then after a few unsteady steps continued down the hill towards the front gates. Not finished berating the witch, Severus set off after her. 'Yes, there is more than evil and cruelty in the world, there's the cold indifference and simplistic naivety. The indifference that lead France to abandon her ally when she was needed most and the naivety that is blinding the public to the evils that are directly in front of their nose.'

She turned to face him. 'You have such little faith in people it's a wonder you consider it worthwhile to fight this war at all!' Her eyes narrowed and she whirled around and continued to make her way to the castle gates. 'You may go now,' she called over her shoulder. 'Tell the Headmaster I'm fine or tell him I've jumped in the lake for all I care, either way, you're dismissed.' Ahlgrim raised her hand and the gates opened with a low groan, as she passed through she lowered her arm and the iron gates began to swing shut behind her.

He snarled between gritted teeth and threw out his hand. The gates swung back with a screech of protest. 'Why you-' but Ahlgrim was bracing her feet on the ground in preparation to Disapparate. Just as she was about to complete her turn and vanish, Severus strode forward and seized her arm. Ahlgrim attempted to pull away, but his grip was inescapable and they were both whisked away by the spell.

Grabbing someone as they were Apparating was generally an unwise thing to do. There was a risk of being splinched, as well as throwing off the caster's intended destination, but Severus could be quite obstinate when the situation called for it and he guessed Ahlgrim would not attempt to Apparate a great distance given her emotional state, which reduced the risk considerably.

Hogsmeade's Main Street materialized around them. They appeared a good metre above the ground, but Severus had anticipated something of the sort and landed smoothly on his feet. Ahlgrim stumbled but managed to catch herself on a nearby lamppost.

Ahlgrim opened her mouth to berate him, then seeming to notice the wizards and witches milling about, spun on her heel and stormed away. Severus followed closely, in case she tried to Disapparate again.

With a stiff back and clenched fists, Ahlgrim stormed through the village. At first, Severus doubted Ahlgrim had any particular destination in mind, but once they passed Dervish & Banges Ahlgrim took a left and followed the path to Hogsmeade Station.

They walked in strained silence. When they got to the station it was, to Severus's relief, empty. The Hogwarts Express would not come for several weeks making the empty train platform the perfect place for a private conversation.

Ahlgrim whirled around and stabbed him in the chest with a slender finger. 'You, Severus Snape,' Ahlgrim snarled, 'have the hairiest heart of any man I have ever met. What's more, you're the sort who would take that as a compliment!'

Or rather, a private argument.

'Your attempts to make this conversation about me are misdirected and juvenile at best,' Severus sneered, crossing his arms over his chest as he leaned against a pillar.

She scoffed, then Ahlgrim's eyes focused on something behind Severus and her face fell and her arm dropped limply to her side as she walked away.

Severus looked over his shoulder to see what at arrested Ahlgrim's attention so. It was a simple bronze plaque; a memorial of The King's Cross Massacre. Platform Nine-and-Three-Quarters was the site of the main memorial, though that one was small too. The King's Cross Massacre was not something people wanted to be reminded of. There was not any heroism or valour, just terror and bloodshed.

Something about the way Ahlgrim studied the plaque made him realise she had never seen it before. Severus moved to stand beside her.

To those who began their journey home, but never reached their destination:

May your souls find rest

December 23, 1970

Geoffrey Abbott

Charles Ahlgrim

Isabel Bonaccord-Ahlgrim

Boris Bagshot

Cara Fawcett

Professor Crystal Clearwater

There were about two dozen more names on the plaque, but Severus knew her focus was not with them.

After a minute of gazing at the bronze and gold plaque, Ahlgrim crossed over to a nearby bench and sat down. 'If you do not mind,' Ahlgrim whispered wearily, 'I would rather much like to be alone now.'

Silence reigned, broken by the chirping of crickets. To them, it was a summer evening like any other. When she did not hear his retreating footsteps, her brown eyes sought his. 'Very well then.' Ahlgrim inclined her head. 'I accept your apology.'

Severus bristled. 'I wasn't apol-'

'I know you weren't,' she said peevishly. 'But it is the Headmaster's desire that you do so. You are free to go. Tell Albus I've accepted your most gracious apology, I know that's why he sent you after me. He does not have to worry about me cutting off the Order's funding.' Ahlgrim stared ahead. 'You were trying to make me angry,' she said at last. 'That was why you said all those horrible things at the Order Headquarters. You were punishing me because I saw your memories. It was not fair. If you had not tried to break into my mind in the first place I wouldn't have seen anything.'

Actually, he had been attempting to provoke her into an angered response, ideally so she would use some of her newfound knowledge of him from his memories as fodder so he might have an idea of what memories she had seen. Severus scoffed. 'So I was supposed to trust your word that you were not an agent of the Dark Lord Himself?'

Ahlgrim laughed hollowly. 'Albus knows Legillimency,' she said flatly. 'He has known me since I was a little girl. If he had any suspicion at all of my loyalty he would not have had you bring me to meet the Order.'

He contemplated feigning ignorance of the Headmaster's abilities, but one look at Ahlgrim convinced him that was a nonstarter. After Ahlgrim had stormed out of Grimmauld Place he and Dumbledore had a long chat. He had not seen the Headmaster so disappointed in him since he found out that Severus had told all of Hogwarts Lupin was a werewolf. Privately, he would have preferred if Dumbledore had yelled. Instead, he had softly rebuked him, asking him if he had ever heard of the phrase "don't bite the hand that feeds you." 'I'm not asking you to be her friend, Severus,' he had said, 'but try at least to not go deliberately out of your way to antagonise her.' Severus hated to admit it, but the Headmaster had a point. Ahlgrim would never become Minister now, but still, as a Wizengamot Elder and Mugwump she wielded considerable power and judging by the amount of gold she had given the Order, had quite a bit of wealth. He had known she would have been quite well off for her to enter the campaign, but for her to so casually make such donation spoke of greater wealth than her combined salaries from the Ministry. To her, it might have been just Galleons sitting in a vault in Gringotts, but to the Order it meant lives. While Severus doubted she would cut off the Order merely because of his earlier comments, Severus did not want to take the risk, even with the assurances she gave. He shoved his hands into the pockets of his robes. 'I… may have misled you earlier,' he began reluctantly. 'I did not see you in the bath.'

She spared a glance in his direction, her lips pressed into a thin line. Then she returned her gaze determinedly forward. Severus frowned. Diplomat she was, he had expected Ahlgrim to accept his pseudo-apology out of her misguided sense of goodwill and eagerness for cooperation. He shook his head. He should have known better. The idea that he had seen her naked had embarrassed her, but at the time she had rather gamely attempted to move on from that detail. He had no control over which memories he saw, as indignant as Ahlgrim had been she had understood that fact. But Severus had complete control over what he did with the memories he had seen and to throw a cherished nickname from her dead brother in her face was what had truly enraged her. Imagining how he would have felt if Ahlgrim had called him 'Sev,' humbled him slightly and he felt a pang of guilt, not over what he had said, but that it had been necessary. He cleared his throat and tried again. 'I also should not have called you… what I called you,' he finished, rather lamely to his ears.

Ahlgrim wrapped her arms around herself, biting her lip. Severus glanced at the plaque. A dried wad of gum was stuck on the bottom corner. Severus blasted it off with a wave of his wand and took his leave.

He had reached the edge of the platform and was about to descend the stairs and take the path back to Hogsmeade when a memory long forgotten sprang into his mind. A memory of simple joys from happier days, from a time where he had somehow believed the best days of his life still lay before him.

Severus glanced over his shoulder. Ahlgrim sat on the bench, her face buried in her hands. The setting sun caught her hair, transforming the simple brown locks into a brilliant shade of bronze. Severus frowned. Then he turned and slowly walked over to her.

The death of a loved one was arguably the worst fate that could befall a person. To have them simply end, to never hear their voice again, feel their touch or see their smile. To know that whatever hopes and dreams they had were now forever out of reach. But that was not the worst part about grief. The worst part of grief was not only that someone who seemed to light the whole world was slowly deteriorating in a box buried in the ground, but that the memories of them started to decay as well. The voice that soothed and calmed, while perfectly preserved in the mind, started to become harder for the ears to imagine. Things were forgotten. Not big things, but little things which somehow had become all the more important. Perhaps because they were all one could cling to. The way they loved and laughed so openly, and forgave everyone except for when it truly mattered was remembered, but for the life of him, Severus could no longer remember whether Lily loved spinach or detested it. He recalled her having strong feelings towards the vegetable, but what they were he could not recall. That such a thing was inconsequential did not matter. The fact that he could forget how Lily felt about spinach meant he could forget. And maybe the next thing he forgot would be the way the summer sun shone when reflected in her scarlet hair, or that secret little smile she gave him when he had done something he really shouldn't have, but she had found amusing regardless. Each day that went by took Severus that much further from Lily. What he was clinging to, sometimes the only thing that got him out of bed, was withering away.

Ahlgrim had lost loved ones as well and knew what it was like to simultaneously hope for and dread a mention of their name, a shared moment, or some sort of recognition that they existed at all. Severus shoved his hands in the pockets of his robes. 'Your brother, Charles, he liked Licorice wands.'

Ahlgrim started. She had not heard him approach. She tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. 'I know.' Her eyes narrowed. 'Which one of my memories did you learn that from?'

He looked away. 'One of my own.' Ahlgrim gaped at him and Severus hurried on. 'I met your brother on the Hogwarts Express at the beginning of my first term. A friend and I shared a compartment with him. He had an enormous box of Licorice Wands and he said he couldn't possibly eat them all by himself and so he shared them with us.'

Ahlgrim bowed her head. 'It was the wrong flavour,' she confessed, her voice small as if revealing a terrible secret. 'He loved the black ones, but I bought him the red ones by mistake…' Her eyes strayed back to the simple plaque.

Severus shifted uncomfortably. He did not know what to say, indeed he could not fully explain why he still lingered on the train platform.

Ahlgrim mumbled something around her hands, something Severus could not hear. He took a step closer. '…I was there… at King's Cross.'

Severus sat next to her on the bench and crossed his arms. He wasn't sure why Ahlgrim was bringing it up now, or more specifically why she was bringing it up with him, but perhaps she believed that since he had already glimpsed into her mind, sharing a few more memories would not do much more damage.

She hung her head. 'Charles had just started Hogwarts- it was his first year. My parents were so proud of him... We were about to leave for the station… and I had this... this toy you see- a little dragon. Well, I couldn't find him and I was adamant we not leave without him.' Her eyes were swimming with tears, but somehow her forced smile only made it worse. 'So my mother went to Platform Nine and Three-Quarters while my father helped me search for Sparks. We didn't know it, but by the time we found Sparks and Apparated to King's Cross, the attack had already begun. We were about to walk through the barrier when a wizard ran out; I don't remember what he said, but I'll never forget the look on my father's face...

My father sat me on a bench and told me to stay put. I meant to, but a Muggle... this Muggle in a dark coat and funny black hat started to ask me questions and I got scared. Charles had shown me how to get through the barrier...'

Severus did not mention that she had run straight into a massacre in order to avoid a simple Muggle policeman.

'It was utter chaos. People running every which way. Dying every which way. I don't know how long I stood there, just watching it unfold. A boy saw me. He grabbed my hand and tried to get me back out through the barrier, but the Death Eaters had by that point managed to magic it shut. The boy pushed me under the train and told me to stay there. And so I stayed until it was all over and a man pulled me out. I never saw the boy again. I don't even know if he lived or died. He had a scar across his nose, I remember that. And his robes had a yellow crest on them.'

Severus closed his eyes briefly. He recognised the description. 'His name was Almerick Tatting.' The Hufflepuff Beater and Quidditch Captain had been in his seventh year.

Distressed, Ahlgrim's eyes shot to the plaque; Almerick Tatting's name was between Harper Shingleton and Sharon Wagstaff.

Her lipped wobbled for a minute. 'I never got to thank him,' she said thickly. 'He saved my life and he never got to find out if any good came out of it.'

Severus stared at his boots. Seeing the plaque, hearing Ahlgrim describe the attack... it brought back memories he would have rather remained buried. 'Tatting helped hold the Death Eaters back while Professor Clearwater sealed up the Hogwarts Express, preventing the Death Eaters from boarding the train. If it were not for them, dozens more would have died.' If it was not for him and Professor Clearwater, Lily would have died.

'I forgot, you were there too.'

He was unable to meet her eyes. The truth was he had not been there. He had chosen to stay at Hogwarts during the winter holiday instead of returning home to Dun's Mill. His mother had fretted over the decision, but also realised any time away from his drunken, abusive father was a good thing. 'Actually, my parents were away visiting other relatives,' he invented, 'so I never boarded the train.'

'Oh.'

The rivalry and, at times, outright antagonism between Slytherin and the other Houses was so entrenched in school lore that students seemed to believe it had gone back to the time of Salazaar Slytherin himself. That was not the case. All four Houses got along rather well until the King's Cross Massacre. All it had taken was for students to notice hardly any Slytherins had been on the train. Fear and paranoia were running rampant then, and the students had quickly decided the Slytherin students had known about the Massacre beforehand and kept it a secret. Of course, the only ones who had known of the planned attack were the Death Eater's themselves, who had made certain their own children were not on that train. By coincidence, some other Slytherins (like Severus himself) also stayed behind at Hogwarts. But to the rest of the students, all of Slytherin was guilty. Shortly after the Massacre, some grief-stricken students lashed out at a group of Slytherins, the Slytherins had retaliated, and so back and forth the hostilities grew and grew, until it took on a life of its own.

'After the Massacre, my father sent me to France to live with my aunt and uncle,' Ahlgrim continued, 'I went to Beauxbatons and spent the summer holidays in France. I hardly saw my father, and while I knew that what he was doing was to protect me, I was still so... angry. I felt as if I was being punished. I was only a teenager at the time of the Soir Trimestre Protest. For years Britain had been at war with You-Know-Who, and the question was finally being raised if other countries should come to Britain's aid. It was meant to be a peaceful demonstration…' Ahlgrim shook her head. 'I'm not going to try and claim I knew who fired that first spell. I don't. But after the first spell was cast... it was complete and utter chaos. People were screaming, casting hexes, running every which way,' she took a shaky breath. 'It was King's Cross all over again. I was only trying to get away, trying to get out of the line of fire when a justicier hexed me.' Ahlgrim twisted to the side and tugged at the neck of her robes, pulling it over to expose her left shoulder, and the white starburst scar about the size of a Galleon; a hexmark. 'I hadn't intended to... I was only trying to make him stop…' She passed a hand over her eyes. 'The man was hit with several other hexes concurrently; that was how he lost his arm.'

Severus got to his feet and stalked several paces away. 'And you suffered hardly any consequences; you caused a man to lose his arm, his livelihood and as punishment, you had to fetch tea for bureaucrats and pay a fine.'

Ahlgrim's eyes flashed. 'Yes, I know I got off lightly,' she leapt to her feet, 'and do you want to know why? Because my mother was Felix Bonaccords's sister. And Felix was, and still is, the Mugwump of France. And because the French government was under extraordinary pressure to appear sympathetic to Britain's predicament without actually having to commit anything in the fight against He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. It was appeasement, Professor Snape! No one could say France was indifferent to her ally! If France had treated me and the other protestors harshly it would have been an international situation. They already had the blood of four civilians on their hands.' Ahlgrim crossed her arms. 'Would I have been treated differently had the circumstances surrounding my arrest been dissimilar? If I did not have my family's influence? Most assuredly. But what would you have had me do, Professor Snape? Lock myself up in the stocks? Swim to Azkaban Prison and beg the dementors to take me in? I am not one for self-flagellation, it accomplishes nothing.'

'But apparently, dramatics do,' Severus said, raising an eyebrow.

Her energy spent, Ahlgrim dropped back onto the bench and carded her fingers through her hair. 'Do you know what it is like to be haunted by a mistake you made decades ago? To know that no matter what you do, you will never be able to fix, truly fix it?'

Severus stilled. 'Did you expect that it would simply stay buried forever?' he asked instead.

She shook her head. 'I have been in the Ministry for years. Amelia Bones knew of my past of course, but she did not think that it was pertinent information, as it had happened before I had come of age. I had been punished and she believed I deserved the chance to move on. She nominated me for the post of Wizengamot Elder, I was accepted and served for years before I was nominated and confirmed as Mugwump of Britain. My past never came up then either, as I had my record of a Wizengamot Elder to stand on. I had hoped that this election would be no different.'

Severus snorted. 'Except you are campaigning against a known Death Eater who has the means to pay an exorbitant amount of money to anyone willing to grab a shovel and dig up anything that could be used against you. You forget Lucius Malfoy is not a politician, he is a cold-blooded murderer.'

Ahlgrim launched out of her seat and stomped over to him, her hair whipping around her face. Severus could feel the air crackling with suppressed magic, like the air before a storm. Though she was a good head shorter than him, the vicious glare she shot him did much to minimize that distance. Her eyes burned with a cold fire and Severus realised the anger she had displayed when she was arguing with Moody at the Order meeting was her operating under great restraint. Here there was no audience, no need to appear composed and Ahlgrim took full advantage of that fact. 'You know nothing of what you speak! Nothing!' she hissed. 'I forget who Lucius Malfoy is, you say?' She laughed, a harsh sound full of bitterness. 'I dare say I know his heart better than you.'

There was a piece Severus had missed. He had read up on her family, he had known the Ahlgrims and Malfoys were political rivals, of course. Even before Lucius Malfoy had begun his campaign for Minister for Magic it was no secret that Malfoy donated a considerable amount of gold to support people who stood against Ahlgrim on every conceivable platform. But the anger in Ahlgrim's eyes spoke to something deeper than political rivalry. Then he remembered what the Dark Lord had said to Lucius Malfoy, 'Your family seems to have a persistent weakness where the Bonaccords are concerned.' Whatever was between the families was deeply personal and spanned generations. Except… what had been Lucius's retort? 'That fault lay with my father and my father alone.' Severus squinted at Ahlgrim, performing the calculations in his head. Her father, Radulph Ahlgrim had been the right age to attend Hogwarts fifty years ago and he had met his wife when he was a student… The Bonaccords were an affluent, pureblood family… 'He loved her.'

Ahlgrim looked as if she had been slapped, her hands clenched tightly at her side.

Severus hadn't meant to say it aloud, but now that he had, he might as well confirm it. 'Abraxas Malfoy, he loved your mother.'

Ahlgrim moved to the far side of the platform as if by distancing herself from Severus, she was distancing herself from painful thoughts. She wrapped her arms around her stomach, a pitiful self embrace. 'If you consider such a beast capable of love,' she snarled.

Taking slow, measured steps, Severus followed her to the edge of the platform. She stared down at the tracks with distant eyes. 'They were at Hogwarts together. My mother was clever, vivacious, beautiful…' Ahlgrim shook her head, 'wealthy and came from a very respectable pure-blood family. She was everything a Malfoy could want in a proper bauble. The fact she did not love him didn't matter. Abraxas courted… hounded would be a better word, hounded my mother who declined his efforts… politely of course. She married my father and thought the matter closed. At…' Ahlgrim took a deep breath, 'at the funeral Abraxas showed up with Lucius in tow. Abraxas told my father that if my mother hadn't turned him down she'd still be alive. And Lucius laughed. The bodies of my mother and brother weren't ten paces away and Lucius laughed.' She swiped a lock of hair from her eyes so she could look Severus full in the face. 'Don't you ever imply I don't know what that family is capable of. For all I know, Abraxas's hand was on the wand that killed my mother. It might as well have been. If I were you, I'd keep a close eye on Lucius's son. As far as I'm concerned the Quaffle doesn't fall far from the goalposts.'

Severus nodded, 'I'll keep that in mind.'

As if suddenly recalling what had prompted her outpouring of emotion in the first place, Ahlgrim slumped against a column. 'Lucius Malfoy cannot be the next Minister…' She gazed up at the darkening sky. Looking for an answer. A miracle. Something. 'It does not matter anymore. Perhaps I should end my campaign. There was a chance the public could have seen past my youthful indiscretions if I also wasn't the nutter who declared gloom and doom and said You-Know-Who came back from the dead. And now Malfoy will be the next Minister for Magic, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named will reveal Himself and…' Ahlgrim wrapped her arms around herself, warding off a non-existent breeze.

Severus, who had been leaning against one of the columns supporting the canopy, suddenly stood straight, his mind whirling in a hundred different directions. A plan was rapidly coming together, and as Severus ran through every conceivable outcome in his mind, he knew the benefits most assuredly would outweigh the risks. He cast a quick glance at the dejected witch. By Merlin, they might be able to pull it off after all.

Caught up in the thrill of inspiration he strode forward and grabbed Ahlgrim by the shoulders, hauling her upright. 'No! Do not quit, at least not yet. Just weather this latest fiasco as best you can.'

Ahlgrim peered at him through narrowed eyes. 'What on earth are you up to, Professor? And don't try to deny it, you are most certainly plotting something.'

Severus shook his head. 'That I cannot say.' A plan was a good place to start, but whether or not he was able to succeed was another thing entirely. The Order would never agree to such a tactic, therefore it had to be enacted without their support. Neither was it a scheme that could be achieved alone. He would need supplies, many illegal, which meant he would need some serious coin. Luckily, the Order of the Phoenix had a new benefactor. 'Just don't admit defeat quite yet.' He spun on his heel and stalked off the platform, ignoring Ahlgrim's shouted questions and Apparated away.

Victoria lay sprawled across her bed, staring at a crack in the ceiling. She pasted a smile on her face and rolled over onto her stomach to grin at the wizard beside her. 'That was-'

Byron interrupted her with a loud snore.

Victoria let the smile fall from her face. '…Bloody awful,' she finished with a scowl, throwing his sweaty arm off of her and scooting toward the edge of the bed. Victoria had just about fallen asleep when someone began pounding on the door to her shop.

Irritated, she clambered out of bed, shrugged on a dressing gown and snatched her wand off the bedside table. Throwing open the window she yelled at the hooded figure below, 'Shop's not open for another hour! Come back then!'

The figure pulled back his hood a fraction and held up his lighted wand so she could see his face. She recognized him instantly: it was Severus.

She slammed the window shut, pounded down the stairs to the shop and made her way to the front of the store. Her crup, Moddy, got up from his bed and padded after her, curiously. She stopped for a moment to artfully tousle her hair and tug on her dressing gown to expose some cleavage. If Severus had finally come to his senses and come to declare his love for her, he certainly had the absolute worst timing in the world. She contemplated how best to get Byron out of her bed. The only idea she could come up with was pushing him out the window. But that was perfectly doable. Her flat was only on the second storey and wizarding folk were a hardy sort. The fall wouldn't break any bones. Probably. Besides, if Byron had not wanted to risk being shoved out the window all he had to do was not be so godawful in bed. She opened the door and leaned against the door frame. 'Severus, what a pleasant surprise!' she gushed breathlessly. 'Do come in.'

Severus barely spared her a glance as he stepped inside. 'You have company I see.' Victoria noted with disappointment he was carrying neither flowers nor boxes of Honeyduke's chocolate. The wizard obviously had no experience when it came to impassioned declarations of love.

But was that jealousy in his voice? Jealousy she could work with. She waved a hand. 'Just a friend from 'Ogwarts visiting. Now, what can I do for my favourite customer?' she asked with a seductive smile as she leaned forward.

Severus pulled a bag out of his robes and passed it to her and Victoria's heart fell. A business visit then. Biting back a sigh she took the bag only to gasp when she peered inside. It had been a long time since she had seen so many Galleons in one place. And when she had, trouble was never far behind. 'What's this for?' she demanded.

'I need two wands, an unregistered Portkey, a corpse, you to relax your little 'no murder' rule, a Dreaming Draught, and for you to wear whatever it was that caused Mr Upstairs to be so taken with you,' he seized her arm and dragged her into the shop. 'Come now Tory, the fate of our country is at stake.'