The couch in the living room hadn't been pulled out into a proper bed in a while, let alone Engorgio'd large enough to fit so many bodies, but Fae had insisted that her brothers and Lily and Remus and Romilly and Regulus and her werewolves stay close, as many as they could fit in the one room, strewn over the chairs and charming the floor into cushions.
Of course, Fae realized that wasn't the brightest idea the next day. As always, she woke before the dawn, comfortably wrapped up in Remus' arms with Romilly snuggled against her back. She blissfully enjoyed it for a while, but eventually the restlessness of the full moon set in and she began to wiggle her way out, wondering how she was going to get off the couch bed and to the back door without waking anybody.
"Shh.."
Remus' whisper nearly made her yelp, but she caught herself and looked up to see his mischievous face grinning back down at her. He shushed her softly again and then glanced over his shoulder at James' sprawl, one of his arms thrown over Remus's back. Fae snorted quietly and then the two werewolves moved slowly, giggling quietly and shushing each other as they climbed off the bed and tiptoed down the hallway to Remus' room.
Or, well, Fae had thought it was Remus' room, with all his stuff everywhere. But the shape of it was different and her stuff was in here too. It was her room and it looked like Remus had been living in there. With a wink, he turned and began stripping off his jacket and shirt, pulling on a clean t-shirt and cocking his head for her to do the same after he caught her staring.
Thank Merlin for the darkness, hopefully he didn't see how badly she was blushing. She turned and went to her chest of drawers, screaming internally when she saw his trousers stuffed in next to her running shorts. At his request, she tossed a pair over her shoulder at him so he could change those too. Then she screamed in her head again and started stripping down herself, getting into running clothes. She'd barely gotten her shirt on when Remus came to stand right behind her. Her heart stopped and then she sighed as he began to braid her hair for her, tying it back so it wouldn't get in the way.
He let his hands slide off her shoulders and she shivered as he leaned down to whisper in her ear. "Race you."
And then he was bolting out her window. She inhaled deeply, barked a laugh, and then chased after him. It was surreal, running through the misty morning woods, her woods, the woods of his Brigade, with him again after all this time. But it felt really, really good. Their laughter rang as soon as they were far enough from the house and despite all their sores and hurts and aches from the battle the night before, it was the full moon and they were together so they floored it. Remus had clearly gotten faster, in addition to stronger, braver, more assertive, more everything. But so had Fae, running from Death Eaters for a few months. It was a wild, completely wonderful race.
They circled the woods twice before anybody else joined them. Christian was first, followed closely by Celeste and Willis. One by one, the Werewolf Brigade joined their Commander.
Fae spent the day meeting all of them, reuniting with the ones she knew, introducing herself to the one's she didn't, although they all knew her name. And scent. And that she really liked coffee and running and flowers and chocolate. And books and her brothers. And music. And their Commander. It was incredible to see the way they interacted with Remus, the way they all laughed with him, the way he tested them, taught them, praised them, raised them up. They way they listened to him always and followed his every word faithfully. It was more than Fae ever imagined it would be.
However, it was much more embarrassing to see the way they teased him relentlessly about her being here and having not 'made a move yet'. Or some such. Apparently, it was common knowledge to everybody how Remus felt about her. And it was even more embarrassing when Remus firmly told them to pipe down and sent them off on drills with such an authoritative voice that it made Fae hot. Like really hot.
So she went off running and doing drills with them, not that it helped much because Remus never strayed far from her. At all. And she fucking loved it and hated it and thank Merlin it was the full moon day so nobody was surprised by her tetchiness and the way she was constantly running off to do something. Flitting between messing with her brothers and listening to their wild stories or laughing while Romilly followed Regulus and yelled at him for overworking himself as he healed each and every bruise and papercut he could find or howling and dancing in the backyard around a perfect, fall bonfire.
It helped tremendously that the Werewolf Brigade was super welcoming, even the one's she hadn't ever known or taught. They all treated her like they treated Remus and it made her unable to stop smiling. She'd never played Hide and Hunt with so many before and it was a blast. They were all so talented and clever and strong. She was so proud of them and proud of Remus. Stupid Remus, practically clinging to her and then giving her his Commander's Jacket as the sun began to set. Telling them that their Alpha, their true leader, was here now to lead them through the full moon and show them all how it's really done. Awake and aware and in control all night long.
Fae was torn between hiding in a tree with the Invisibility Cloak again, or taking the praise proudly and leading them like the Alpha they believed her to be. The Alpha she was. With her beta by her side and the werewolves howling for her, she absolutely had to choose option two. She wore the red jacket with honor, dignity, and pride, even if it was way too big for her. It reeked of vanilla and books and retained his warmth. She refused to let it be shrunk, so he could wear it again and she could steal it when she wanted.
When night fell, James, Sirius, and Romilly joined them, relentlessly teasing Regulus for not having his animagus form yet. He'd have to stay home with Lily and get the tea shots ready. Which sounded horrible, but he ended up being pretty happy about it, interested in the healing properties of the Romilly Miracle Shot and Remus' version, the R&R Tea. He showed up a little after dawn, grinning and floating a good dozen trays with pastries and revival drinks behind him, taking care to dump water over his brother and Romilly.
Fae woke up surrounded and satisfied and still sore as hell. But, of course, Remus was there in seconds, asking where it hurt, rubbing her shoulders, offering to carry her home so they could rest more comfortably. She took that offer for sure, giggling and wiggling as he scooped her up like a princess and she tried not to grope his biceps. Fae seriously considered refusing the Miracle Shot too, just so she could milk her exhaustion all day and have Remus fawn over her.
But then she caught a particular smell - cedar and floral spring mornings and teddy grahams.
"Remus, put me down right now!"
He laughed and let go, trusting Fae to sort herself out as she fell. She hit the ground running, laughing, and crying. Sprinting for the house. For Lily.
For her little Bambi. He was here and safe. Happy and cooing and already reaching for Auntie Fae as she burst through the back door. Home. They were home.
Harry was arching out of Lily's arms for her and Lily, beautiful, smiling Lily, handed him to Fae easily. Fae cradled him gently to her chest with a sob and then sank to her knees. It was like everything finally hit her at once. She had really done it. She'd fought and won a war. And now she was home and Maddy was pregnant while her husband was dead and Peter was never coming back and Remus had almost died and London was in ruins and the world feared and hated her as much as they loved and worshipped her.
To be completely honest, she felt the same way and it burned to feel so happy as she held her perfect nephew in her arms. "You're so big! You got so big, Bambi, my sweet Bambi, look at you!" she cooed between sobs, holding him away so she could nuzzle him. He made happy squeals and pulled out her hair, yanking strands harshly out of her braids.
Fae squawked playfully and leaned in to put a big fat kiss on his cheek and his nose and his belly, rambling the whole way and delighting in his joyful screams. "I love you, I love you, I love you so much, it's all better now, you won't ever have to worry about that stupid prophecy, you're safe now, Auntie Fae's got you, I love you Harry."
She was crying buckets and shaking like a leaf. How had all of this happened? How had she gotten here? How had she survived? What would happen now? Harry just kept smiling and cooing at her, completely oblivious to her breakdown. Then his gaze flicked over her shoulder and Fae melted into Remus' side, leaning heavily on him as he kneeled beside her and also excitedly said hello to Harry. After all, Harry had been in hiding so Remus hadn't seen him just as long either. Harry kept one fist full of Fae' hair and wrapped his other tiny hand around Remus' finger as the man playfully tickled his tummy and cooed at him. Remus' other arm was wrapped firmly around Fae and she relaxed, starting breathing and stopped crying as he pressed a sweet, comforting kiss to her head.
Like when she was 14 and just beginning to figure it all out, Fae spent the day on the couch, surrounded by her loved ones, resting and glowing with contentedness. Singing to Bambi and playing with him, watching him with wonder when he slept. Laughing as Romilly bickered with Sirius' awful, obnoxious flirting and Regulus arbitrarily took sides with them both. Lily and James bundled onto Fleamont's old armchair, rocking and resting and chatting about whatever came to mind. James' stories were as brilliant and funny as ever and he had plenty to tell about his efforts to stay entertained at home and then about rigging the battlefield.
"So much for Harry being the one to kill the Dark Lord," James joked.
"Well, in a way he did. He blinked his cute little eyes and enslaved one of the strongest witches and werewolves this world had ever seen. And then Riddle was stupid enough to go after what was hers," Remus replied, idly reading while Harry played on the couch between him and Fae.
Remus continued to stay by her side all day, which she supposed was good because he'd gotten pretty injured too and needed rest. It was baffling, how attuned he was to her, though. After three months apart, he still recognized every cue, could decipher every glance, knew exactly what she wanted or needed even before she knew. A cup of coffee, the fucked-up t-shirt quilt she'd made with Sirius from their thrift store shopping, her cassette player and favorite tapes, her notebooks.
The notebooks were very important because with both her and Remus confined inside for most of the day, the werewolves were in and out. Some were seeking things to do, listless now that the battle was over. Remus insisted they take time to recover, but if they must do something, they could swing by Moody's and the Aurors and the Ministry would likely put them to work. Regulus, restless himself, ended up guiding them there himself as he went to St. Mungo's to volunteer his help. Most of the werewolves, however, just wanted to chat. Catch up or get to know her.
This is where the notebooks came in handy because Fae had three months of data to collect. Although, there wasn't nearly as much as she thought there might be in terms of technical analysis. Remus had given her a few extra notebooks, one's he'd written in and filled out, making the exact same types of charts and measurements and considerations from her research. It was immaculate, albeit missing her funny commentary or much narrative. His little margin scribbles were more factual, but still cute and thrilling to read.
He'd worked so hard for her and they ended up spreading everything out on the bed in their room that night, nodding off as they talked for hours. Remus was so enthusiastic about them all, even the ones who gave him attitude. His stories about them were almost better than James' stories and Fae wanted to listen to them all night long, taking notes of her own. He eventually fell asleep first and Fae was all too happy to throw the blankets over him and curl up to his back, slinging an arm over his waist and breathing in his scent deeply. Despite the things they still needed to address between them, holding him close never failed to make her mind shut up.
If Fae wasn't sure about her place in the Werewolf Brigade before, she was absolutely sure the next day when the Ministry came knocking and tried to arrest her. Apparently, even though she'd slain the Dark Lord terrorizing their country for almost a decade, she was still to be held accountable for the numerous crimes she committed in the process. Or at least, put on trial to see whether she should be held accountable. Which, honestly, that was fair.
The werewolves and her family defended her fiercely, poised to attack and waiting for the word from Remus and Fae respectively. There was a lot of shouting and arguing and at the point Remus said something to the affects of 'over my dead body', Fae had yelled at everybody to shut the fuck up. Then Lily, and Christian oddly enough, took charge because they were diplomatically and politically smart where Fae wasn't. That and Romilly and Remus were too enraged and looked quite likely to blast first and ask questions later.
They came to an agreement after a long, hard debate. House arrest. She was put on house arrest until the trial in two weeks, unable to go beyond her home or their famously warded woods. She wasn't really sure how to feel about that. And as the next two weeks went by, Fae realized she didn't know how to feel about a lot of things. Life after the war didn't really settle down as much as settle into the latest, and slightly less crazy, hectic routine.
There were still safehouses to dismantle, supporters to hunt down, patrols to do, and plenty of people to bring home who had been in hiding from Riddle. Sirius, Moody, and the rest of the Order saw to that alongside the Brigade while doing their best to cooperate and collaborate with the Ministry who also had a laundry list of things to do.
It drove Fae crazy. She wanted to be in on the action so bad. Instead, she had to content herself to helping returning werewolves recuperate, training and testing those that had time between missions, and assisting Remus where she could since he maintained his role as strategist, liaison, and Commander. She had to admit, it was pretty badass seeing him work and he was really good at it, far better than she ever would've been. He had an amazing mind for every little detail and condition to keep in mind.
Severus was brought into a lot of the meetings regarding safehouses and missing supporters. The Ministry hadn't arrested them so much as he had gone to them and offered them a deal. He would be pardoned for his part in the war on Riddle's side in return for giving them all the information he knew, which was considerable. The Ministry, and the Order, gave him a counter offer. They would pardon him, he'd give up all the information, and then he'd come work for the Ministry as an Unspeakable for the foreseeable future and help them dismantle said safehouses and such. Severus, smart and self-serving as he was, agreed.
With Severus around more, and given how he had saved Fae and Remus, it didn't take Lily long to corner him. There was quiet talking and then awkward sidestepping before there was glorious, ground-zero screaming and hexing because Fae thought it was only fair that Lily know about Severus betraying them and the prophecy.
It was fine, they made up in the end. Lily refused to forgive him and stop yelling at him until Severus got desperate enough to admit he hated every minute of it, had no clue it was them he was betraying, and then did everything he could with both Fae and Dumbledore to ensure their safety because she was his best friend and he'd never stopped caring about her no matter what. It was pretty heartwarming and cutesy - even Sirius decided to give him less of a hard time after that. If only slightly.
They became friends again and as such, Severus was invited and dragged to dinner a few times a week. Despite some of their best efforts to dislike him, Severus was completely ensnared by Harry from their first meeting. He became far too adorably enamored with him and bended to each and every whim of the toddler. Even worse, Harry seemed to adore him back, so pissing off Severus quickly became off limits. Instead, Sirius and Fae got into competitions with him on who could hold Harry's attention longest and make him laugh the most. And who's name he said first, although James was steadfast that he'd be saying 'Dada' or 'Mama' first.
They all had a lot of chances and time to wear Harry down, thankfully. James and Lily decided to move back home for a while and Lily was busy dealing with Fae's trial, so it fell to James to be a stay-at-home Dad and baby-proof the house. It was hysterical, watching a bunch of werewolves navigate through a baby-proofed house.
So Fae's days were busy with Harry and with werewolves. Usually, that kept her pretty happy. Other days, it drove her mad. She had no space anymore. Her woods were filled with werewolves always wanting to train or talk or hunt. Her house was filled with jabbering James and babbling Bambi. And at night, everywhere was filled with everyone. Regulus and Romilly came home from St. Mungos. Sirius, Lily, Severus, and Christian came home from the Ministry. Members of the Order and Brigade would train or just unwind and chat together. It was nice to see those relationships prevail and all the loud, crazy dinners and bonfires and dancing in the kitchen and messing around in the yard were so fun and brilliant. But sometimes it was all just so overwhelming, especially when it was constant.
There was nowhere else to go so Fae found herself locked up in her hidden recording closet more and more, which somehow Remus had not found despite moving in. Or, he had found it and found her notebooks on her previous life and just not said anything. Honestly, it wouldn't have surprised her. She'd crawl in, wrap herself up in blankets, throw up the silencing charms, and let her music play. Just unwind and close her eyes because if she kept them open, she'd remember she was locked up in a tiny room instead of free to roam.
Bless Remus, even if he didn't know where she went, he always, always knew when she needed a minute. Nobody questioned Remus when it came to Fae, so all his excuses for her were taken easily and he had tons of them, readily available the second she started getting tired or snappy. The one thing that kept her sane during that two weeks was Remus. Shocker.
He was pretty busy too, coordinating the werewolves for missions and also helping them find more permanent placements now that the war was over and there wasn't a need to stay close. Thankfully, many members of the Order were happy to offer couches and spare bedrooms to those who decided to stay and make London their home.
No matter how busy he was though, Remus always made time for Fae and stuck to her side as often as he could, save for when she needed some space alone. They ran together every morning, always had meals together, and always retired to the couch every night after dinner to read and write, just like they used to. Fae loved it. And she would've loved even more if she could have time with just him. Well, more of it, other than just falling asleep together. Although waking up to him every morning was pretty awesome.
However, not everything was easy between the two of them either. Mostly, sharing a room was a little trickier than she thought it would be.
Fae was used to always having notebooks and glasses and clothes everywhere and with Remus' stuff added to the mix, it got pretty messy. Sure, it was great to be able to pick up any t-shirt on the floor and wear it, regardless of whose it was. But they bickered a lot about Fae putting her stuff away when she wasn't using it because it took up so much space and when he inevitably moved her stuff so he could put something down, she'd get irritated at him for touching her stuff.
And he was so picky about the laundry getting folded properly, whereas Fae mostly didn't care. Stuff that needed to be hung up got hung up and everything else could go in the drawers. Since he was so busy and she was grounded, she usually did the laundry and Mr. I-Fold-My-Socks was not a fan of her methods. And don't even get her started on how they liked to handle their books and bookshelves.
Although space and cleaning and organization were issues, Fae still much preferred sharing a room with him than not. It actually surprised her just how much she'd gotten used to having him close, all the time. In a time where she felt trapped and closed-in and restless, she thought she'd be happy for Remus to at least move his stuff back to his room once some of the werewolves started moving out. But when he brought it up, Fae's instant resounding answer was-
"No! No," she said. "Just...stay?"
Remus looked at her for a moment and then the corner of his mouth quirked. "You want me to stay?"
Fae blushed madly and busied herself adjusting her, their, blanket nest. "Yes. I… I sleep better with you here."
At that, Remus frowned and tugged on her hair until she looked at him again. "Have you been getting nightmares or having trouble sleeping?" he asked, clearly concerned which just made Fae blush even harder. Then sigh and twirl her hair a bit as she thought it over.
"No, I don't get nightmares. You think I would, with all the violent things I did, but I don't," she said. She was a great sleeper and really only had trouble when she was worried about something. But killing people had never bothered or worried her. Not once. Fae her lip and stared intensely at her fraying quilt. "Is that fucked up? Am I twisted inside?"
Sighing, Remus scooted closer to her, settled his arm around her shoulder, and leaned them back against the headboard. "Only as much as I am. I was so afraid for so many years that I'd accidentally hurt someone," he said, petting her hair and soothing her. "And then there was the war and I had to hurt people."
Fae flinched and buried her head in his chest. Remus, her sweet, darling, gentle Remus, had become a murderer because of her. "I'm so sorry. I never meant-"
"No," he insisted. "No, it had to be done."
He sighed again and then explained. "You had nothing to do with the things I did, how far I mutilated some of those enemies," he admitted. It surprised her, but only a little. She'd heard the stories from their werewolves, knew they respected him for a reason. She wanted to believe him, that she'd had nothing to do with it. But he never would've had to face enemies if it weren't for her essentially drafting him as the leader of the werewolves in the war she started.
"I'd always been so afraid of my own strength, but you were right," Remus said, pausing to press a kiss to her hair which had her glancing curiously up at him. He smiled tenderly.
"Once I embraced and learned to use it, it felt good. It felt good to hurt people when it was my choice, and I don't have nightmares either. What a pair we are, huh?"
Fae mulled it over, unsure whether she felt relieved or guiltier. She was proud of him, at least, and glad he didn't lose sleep. So she smiled a little and nuzzled his jaw. "Yeah," she said. "But I might get nightmares if you aren't there. So just.. Stay." It was a blatant lie that fooled neither of them.
"Of course, love," he said, nuzzling her back and making her giggle as his slight chin hair scratched her cheek. Then he hummed. "But we still need to figure out this living situation. I don't like arguing with you."
"Yeah, I agree. This room is just a little too small for the both of us, isn't it?" Fae said, glancing around. Mind turning and moving everything like puzzle pieces.
"Mmm."
Fae suddenly grinned. "I've got a great idea."
The next day, Fae knocked down the wall between her room and his previous room, opening up a significant amount of space. They made a day of rearranging their room, adding in as many bookshelves as they could, expanding the closet and drawers, conjuring a desk for him beside her's. Fae finally revealed her secret room to him, although just explaining it was a secret and not telling him much about what it was. As she guessed, he didn't mind whatsoever and was happy to let her keep it and let her keep her privacy so long as she didn't go snooping through a specific drawer of his desk. Despite her curiosity, she figured that was a fair trade.
Fae took that step into adulthood too, when her bed moved from the corner of the room into the middle of the wall, much as she still wanted to crawl over Remus every night and sleep between him and the window. Sharing a bedside table was probably one of trickiest things for them, and moving the bed so they could both have a table was the best solution. They didn't bother changing the size of the bed. If anything, Fae suspected that Remus might've even shrank it a bit while she wasn't looking.
It was surreal. Almost more surreal than the fact that the war was over. They had preferred sides of the bed and their own sides of the closet and their own bedside tables and desks. It made Fae really happy and really flustered. And really guilty. Remus had told her how he felt, made it clear that he wanted her and was sorry to make her wait so long and to have hurt her.
And now she was probably hurting him by making him wait, not that he showed it. He was affectionate and loving and wonderful, but he never once pushed her. Never kissed her or touched her anywhere that couldn't be deemed casual or platonic. Never brought up what they had talked about on the battlefield or asked for her answer.
He was waiting for her patiently, and seemed perfectly happy to just be by her side anyway he could in the meantime. And perfectly happy to tease the hell out of her too. Remus had exactly zero reservations about undressing in front of her anymore. Or being shirtless around anybody, which was great, but also agh. And she swore he was flexing his muscles and flaunting them for her whenever they did strength workouts, which was just an entire thing in and of itself.
He held her so often that she was beginning to act like Romilly, bitching about how cold she was whenever he wasn't there so he'd keep it up. It was so easy and natural, the way he hugged her from behind while she did the dishes or kept an arm around her on the couch at all times or kept her sitting between his legs while she played with Harry on the living room floor. He was so perfect and she felt so damn undeserving and terrified.
How the turns had tabled.
The trial came and went with hundreds of screaming people packed outside the Ministry, demanding so many things that Fae couldn't keep track. She focused on Lily's voice, explaining the proceedings and what to expect. She focused on Remus' arm firmly around her waist, keeping her grounded and keeping her from running away from the sheer overwhelmingness of it all. She focused on Romilly's calmness, walking confidently and boredly beside her, sure that she'd be acquitted of all crimes.
She was, in the end. With Regulus and Lily taking their seats on the Wizengamot for the Black and Potter families respectively in addition to Christian representing the Werewolf Brigade, Auror Alastor Moody representing the Order of Phoenix, and Albus Dumbledore, Chief Warlock of the Wizengamot, backing her up, it wasn't that surprising that she was allowed off scot-free. No prison time or community service or reparations. No awards, titles, or honors either, though. Which was good. As Fae walked out and followed her family home for another celebration, she realized she didn't really want any. And didn't really feel that much like celebrating.
The fight with the ministry continued though, with Lily and Christian going to war on behalf of the Werewolf Brigade. There was no doubt that they had proven themselves during the war and had changed the game for werewolves completely. Figuring out where to draw the line, particularly with the ministry, was the tricky part.
The Auror department was lacking and it was a no-brainer to allow the werewolves a chance to join if they wanted. However, for a lot of people, that meant werewolves should be hireable for all other ministry positions as well and plenty still had issues with that. Not to mention, the ministry had some pretty rude conditions for becoming an Auror, conditions that non-werewolves wouldn't be asked. Like taking the identification mark, consenting to being monitored during transformations, most likely in a bunker in the ministry building with all other werewolves in the same boat, or making an Unbreakable Vow to never harm another person during transformation. Ridiculous and outrageous.
It brought up a lot of questions and tensions. Should werewolves have the right to work anywhere? Should they be forced to inform employers of their condition lest they be jailed? Was it right to fire a werewolf for simply being a werewolf, even if their condition had never interfered with the job? Laws were being questioned and rewritten at light speed and it was at that time that Fae finally figured out how the hell Christian was so knowledgeable and attuned to politics. Before he'd been bitten, he'd been studying to become a lawyer. And now, he had decided to stay in London and give it another go, on behalf of his kind.
Meanwhile, Maddy, now two months pregnant, had decided to go back to the coast and lead the western pack as the new Alpha, despite her grief. Fae admired her so much and felt so guilty and sad that Jim couldn't be her beta, couldn't see their son or daughter be born. Maddy didn't blame her and Fae really thought she should.
Werewolves had already started moving out, many returning with Maddy to the western coast, and Celeste taking her pack, plus some, to the North. Although space was opening up, the second the house arrest was lifted, Fae took to running laps around her town. It felt like seeing it all for the first time when she went by Mrs. Dolores' gardens and by the library. It also felt like a completely different universe as she stared at the ruins of the diner she'd worked at. All the fresh graves dug in the cemetery and the heaps of rubble overflowing from the scrapyard and the awkward smiles or overbearing gushing she received from every person she came across, even Mr. Hammy, although his smile was more sad than anything.
She stood in front of Lucrecia's destroyed cafe and all she felt was guilt. This town had probably been unscathed in the original timeline and now. Because of her, it was in pieces. There was just so much guilt over what she did, what she didn't do, over feeling happy so soon, because Remus was perfect which was why she couldn't take him with her on these walks. Fae looked at the cafe and picked through the broken teacups to find her preferred one, and thought that she should've gone to Azkaban. For killing Death Eaters, no, but for ruining the livelihoods of good people. For getting good people killed and ripping families apart.
So lost in her thoughts, Fae jumped embarrassingly high when Lucrecia's voice came from behind her.
"Hello dear," she said.
"Fae!" Martha chimed.
Alastor was with them too, breaking in his new leg, and Fae waved. "Hey guys."
Martha, Lucrecia, and Moody were near daily visitors, thank Merlin, because Lucrecia was always happy to cook and Martha was tons of fun to train and run around with. Fae absolutely adored the way she looked up to Remus like a big brother and always gave him attitude, pretending she wasn't hanging on his every word. She clearly had a bit of a crush on him and it was maddeningly cute.
Lucrecia gave her a curious look before asking, "What's wrong?"
Fae forced a smile. "Nothing, I'm fine."
Alastor scoffed. "For someone who is usually good at lying, that was a pathetic answer."
"Uh-"
"Martha, why don't you run on ahead and see if you can't scare Remus this time?" Lucrecia said, pushing the girl lightly towards the house.
"Okay, sure! I'll get him this time for sure!" Martha said, running off. Adorable. But quite unfortunate because Fae didn't really want to have this conversation. Any conversation at all at the moment really.
Alastor waved his wand at the rubble and plucked pieces of wood from it, forming a table and three chairs. He pulled out one for Lucrecia who sat and thanked him cheerfully as she conjured some hot cocoa. Then Alastor sat himself and looked between Fae and the third chair. "Sit."
"What?" Fae parroted, blinking. He just conjured shit in broad daylight. And now they're sitting and drinking hot cocoa in the middle of the day, in the middle of the street, outside a wrecked building. He must've eaten Lucrecia's brownies that day.
"Clearly you need to talk," Alastor said. "So talk."
Taking a more chill and gentle approach, Lucrecia patted the table and smiled at her. "Come now, Fae. What's on your mind?"
Fae settled into the chair harshly, fidgeted, sighed deeply. "I just…. feel so shitty," she mumbled.
They both waited for her to elaborate, taking easy sips of their hot chocolate. Fae took a gulp, flinched at the burning of her tongue, and then sniffled.
Two minutes later, her mind wasn't doing any better at untangling her thoughts, so she just let it all spill out. "I can't stop thinking about everything I did and wondering if what I did was the right thing. Well, no, there was a lot of wrong things I did that I knew were wrong, but the end was good, but was it really? Could I have done things better? No, no I know there's a million things I could've done better like preventing Peter's death or not publicly linking myself to the diner or the print shop or-"
"Woah, woah, woah, Fae! Calm down!" Lucrecia cried, settling her hand over Fae's shaking fingers.
"Yes, do shut up."
"Alastor!"
The Auror sighed deeply and pinched the bridge of his nose before addressing her like a disappointed and slightly inebriated uncle. "Fae, you fucked up in a lot of ways," he said, which was a fantastic way to start. Really, she'd been waiting for someone else to tell her that for too long. "There's no denying that. But you can't dwell on what ifs. The war is over and we won. We lost a lot to get here, but the fact of the matter is that we are here."
Fae opened her mouth to argue with him, but Lucrecia spoke up first.
"He's right dear," she said, letting go of her hand to brush her bangs back gently and tenderly. "This may not be a perfect ending, but life isn't perfect and neither are you. You are Fae and you did the best you could at the time. Now you need to let it be enough and let it go. Or you'll miss out on the potentially wonderful future ahead of us."
Fae's mouth worked a bit, trying to come up with an answer. She wanted to agree. They made perfect sense. Her stupid head just wasn't getting it though. Wasn't letting her rest. "But how? How do I let it go? Sure, half of the time everything feels so bizarrely normal and like everything is okay. But then that guilt gets me again, guilt over the war and over… over being happy at all so soon after. So many people lost so much. Some lost everything. And here I am, perfectly fine and just-"
Alastor interrupted her again, this time by smacking her upside the head. "Well clearly you're not fine, stupid girl."
Which, yeah. She definitely wasn't. But that was how it should be. It was the happiness she felt with Remus and Harry and the werewolves that made her so confused. Undeserving. It was tearing her apart.
Lucrecia playfully smacked his arm and whispered at him to be good. Then she smiled. "It's okay to be happy, Fae. You've always been a strong and cheerful girl. It's one of the best things about you, I think, the way you always keep up a smile, but never bullshit anything. You've worked so hard and although not everything worked out, you do deserve to be happy."
She sniffled again. Really hard, because fuck she was not about to cry in broad daylight with Alastor looking at her so smugly. But what Lucrecia had said was… well. It was things she'd known, but couldn't make herself believe coming from her own head.
"But.. I… can't," she croaked. "My head just keeps working against me. I feel like I need to do something to make up for what I did." It was hard to admit, but it was the truth. And it was overwhelming her. How could she ever make up for the things she did?
Alastor rolled his eye, which was impressive considering he really only had control of the one. "Then do things," he stated gruffly, bluntly. "Honestly, did you get brain damage in the final battle? You've always been an action person, so just do things. Little things. Big things. Make your silly to-do lists and get to work."
Fae sniffled. Paused. Wiped away her tears. "Well what should I do?"
"Help rebuild," Lucrecia suggested.
"Keep up patrols," said Alastor.
"Leave flowers at the graves of those who died."
"Fight the ministry for the werewolves."
"Whatever might make you feel better, dear."
"You're a smart girl, I'm sure once you get going, you'll have plenty to do," he said, ruffling her hair fondly and making her jaw drop. A real, blatant compliment. Wow. He was getting soft in post-war life. "And feel free to start with helping us put this place back to rights."
Lucrecia hummed thoughtfully. "And maybe an expansion would be nice too? Convert the upstairs into a proper bookshop? Or perhaps a smoke shop?"
Fae blinked. Thought everything over and let out a startled laugh. "That sounds amazing! But where will you live?"
She laughed. "Oh honey, where I have been living - Martha and I live with Alastor now."
They all lived together? That was…. That was really nice. Her heart warmed and Fae smiled for the first time in what felt like days. "I'm happy for you guys. I'm glad you have each other."
"Thank you. And Fae. Do let yourself be loved and let the people who love you make you happy."
Damnit, now her eyes were wet again. She nodded frantically and gave the woman an awkward thumbs up. "Yeah, okay." It was easier said than done, but doing nothing was the hardest thing of all. It was time to go to work.
She gave them both massive hugs and left immediately after to go to the graveyard. Fae sang as she cleaned it spotless and then conjured flowers on every new grave. And then she conjured flowers on every grave, because everyone there deserved flowers and deserved to have someone think of them. As she did this, her mind began to properly turn for what felt like the first time in weeks.
Alastor and Lucrecia were right. It was hard to see now underneath all the destruction and loss, but the future was bright, and Fae had a lot of work to do to ensure it would be a grand one for the people she cared about. And yes, she would be starting with rebuilding Lucrecia's cafe, second floor, third floor even, and state of the art equipment. Remus found her at the graveyard a little after dark and cheerfully offered up a pen and his arm so she could begin her to-do list, listening and smiling as she babbled excitedly. The next day, he held her hand firmly to keep her from darting around Diagon Alley madly as she picked up a new wand. She swung their hands wildly and obnoxiously back and forth and still managed to effectively drag him at least to Flourish and Botts and to Fortescue's.
First and foremost, loathe as she was to admit it, she needed Dumbledore's help. He was the only one who knew about her displacement in time. Not only that, but he was also someone who had played a pivotal point in war, for worse and better. It was definitely a painful and humbling moment to have to ask him for help and pray that he wouldn't turn her away after all the trouble she'd caused - but he didn't. And so Fae ended up having weekly therapy sessions with Albus Dumbledore of all people.
Fae had a lot to unpack and work through. Her grief, guilt, shame, insecurities, uncertainties, a whole ugly tangled mess. Dumbledore was patient and helpful though. And he was smart, so when he recognized that Fae would benefit even more from a more practiced and actually licensed therapist, he put her in contact with someone that actually specialized in time-related trauma. Maybe not dimensional, but it was close enough and massively helpful. She started weekly sessions with Dr. Ulrics as well. And because it actually was quite enjoyable, in a pop-a-zit-kind-of-way, she maintained her sessions with Dumbledore.
The next of her initial major tasks was definitely to help rebuild everything she broke and then some. The cafe, the diner, the print store. When those were back on their feet, even if the diner remained empty, she started going into London each day, repairing the news station and the square in front of the ministry and any house she could find. It was fulfilling and busy work. It was hard too, because every so often, people flinched when they saw her and rejected her help, fearing that if she helped them, they'd be attacked and hurt even worse. In those cases, she backed off gracefully and found other people who were willing to help them.
She also was able to help Remus and the Brigade infinitely more, now that she wasn't confined to the house. Fae finally got to go on a few missions for the Order alongside her wolves. The rush and the running by night was dearly missed and left her ecstatic. Remus, worrier, went with her on the first few and she nearly yelled at him for hovering, but he'd just argued back that the last time she'd gone off to battle without him, she'd nearly died and he was not okay with that. So, she allowed it. Because he was so damn cute when he got protective.
Then all the rebuilding around London came in handy because Fae was able to help several werewolves find homes and jobs, further clearing out her house and woods, although they were always welcome to visit, especially for full moons. It felt immensely good and satisfying to see them settle into 'normal' lives that they thought they'd never get to have. It was still harder to find decent landlords and employers than the average person, but it was nowhere near as difficult as it had been even just when Remus had been looking after graduation. The world was changing for the better.
And once she started to see the beauty left in the world, began to believe in the endless joy of each day once more, Fae saw it everywhere. In Martha managing to successfully sneak up on Remus, or Sirius working up the courage to kiss the cute werewolf boy he'd been flirting with for weeks, or helping Lucrecia hand out freshly baked goods to the tired and ravenous people coming off night patrols. Whenever she could, Fae shared stories and victories and triumphs with as many as she could, no matter how small or trivial.
Like Regulus being offered a full-time job at St. Mungos. Although, he turned it down for part-time and insisted on getting a proper education first. So first they celebrated the job, and then shortly after celebrated his acceptance into med-school in London.
Regulus also took over as the official head of the House of Black, once he and Sirius hilariously remembered to go unfreeze their mother. Walburga Black was removed from the family tree and sent packing. She was given enough money to live comfortably and booted off to France while Uncle Alphard and Andromeda were fully reinstated as members of the family. And then Regulus did the most badass thing ever. He decided to keep living with Sirius and the rest of them at the Potter house, so he offered up the now vacant Most Noble and Ancient House of Black as free housing for any Brigade members. Kreacher wasn't having it and Fae didn't really want a house elf, so he ended up assisting his master happily at St. Mungos until such time Regulus had a house of his own again.
Then there was Harry taking his first steps, toddling between her and James, a little uncertainly and awkwardly because they were both screaming and crying like mad. Eventually, he turned and stumbled over to Remus, who had just walked in the door and then freaked out and picked him up excitedly. It was a great moment.
Romilly took off for a week and successfully captured and released the Hogwarts Basilisk into a safe environment with her Grandfather's help, who Fae was extremely happy to see when he came by for a visit on his way back to America. Newt was still the coolest person ever and he unintentionally made several of the remaining werewolves uncomfortable with all his enthusiasm and questioning.
Sirius returned to being an Auror and got into fights with Severus at least twice a week, which was ridiculous because they were in completely different departments. Although, she supposed, they overlapped fairly often as the war wrapped up and more and more Death Eaters and Supporters were convicted. Fae laughed as they came home to dinner arguing and celebrated when she won the nightly bet with James on who would triumph in this argument - Sirius, Severus, or Harry?
Fae celebrated Lily's return to work and James' decision to be a full-time stay-at-home-dad and part-time inventor. During his confinement, he and Lily had dabbled around with charmed objects to stave off boredom and he'd remembered how much he missed inventing with his Dad. So instead of seeking out a quidditch team, which he said he might still when Harry was older, he would make things. Fun, mad, wonderful things. It didn't take him long to sell his first prank invention to Zonko's and that was another huge celebration.
Christian was hired by the Ministry for the Beast Division in the capacity of a lawyer on behalf of werewolves, which is where Lily went as well, working as his assistant and partner. As a team, headstrong and brilliant and cunning and surprisingly diplomatic, they wrecked the Ministry and changed a multitude of laws, abolishing the identification marks in favor of a voluntary registry.
Fae was able to help here too, both her and Remus. They had years and years of research to help back up Lily and Christian's cases, both through all the tests and analysis they had done, and through all the initial researching they had done early on. It was a good thing Fae had always been meticulous about her sources and she and Lily spent many a day in the town library, going through books again, just like when she'd been a teenager. It was nice and she loved her sister-in-law all the more for her passion. Turns out, Lily loved to fight more than she loved to invent and James loved to invent more than he loved to fight.
Of course, they still had a lot of work to do, even just for the wolves joining the Aurors. But at least, they figured, they had a few months of training and with free housing, they had nothing to worry about until training was through, at which point they could decide if they wanted the job or not depending on the laws and conditions. Fae and Remus were there for every step of it and celebrated every victory with gusto. Fleamont had been right - they had changed history.
Fae got to celebrate Christian and Willis deciding to get married too - for which Remus was declared the Best Man. With everything going on, it would be a long engagement from the looks of it, but Fae was thrilled nonetheless. And kept quite busy looking after Remus who was once again running himself ragged with all the work he thought he had to do.
He'd looked after her so well in those few weeks of readjusting after the war and it was wonderful to return the favor. Between helping Lily and Christian with the laws, helping Christian and Willis with the wedding, helping Willis and Lucrecia with reopening the cafe - Willis had been chosen as a manager since Remus was too busy to return to working there, but always welcome to come help out or stress bake - helping the Order with missions, helping the Brigade with settling down, helping Fae with rebuilding her little projects, helping Fae and James look after Harry, and still somehow finding time to stay in shape and keep the house relatively in order, it was no wonder that he was exhausted. Enthusiastic and eager, but definitely overdoing it, the utter sweetheart. No matter how rough and tough he got, he was still as helpful and caring as ever.
So Fae made sure he relaxed as often as he could, making sure he got plenty to eat at every meal, insisting he sit down for at least an hour or two every night to relax and read a book while she rubbed the soreness out of his shoulders or let him play with her hair, taking care to make sure he got plenty of exercise without overdoing it especially with all the rebuilding and lifting. It seemed their days were never-ending, but Remus always made time for her and in return, she always made time to make sure he took care of himself.
They started going for drives again too, taking off after dinner sometimes, picking a direction, and just going as far as they could to discover something new or watch the stars. Once or twice, she got him to blast the music in some random field while they danced like idiots in the headlights.
Life went on. It was busy and crazy, but it was happier every day. Of course, Fae still had bad days. When her regrets wouldn't leave her alone. There were days where she wouldn't want to go for her morning run or afternoons where she had to retreat to her hidey-hole of music or nights where she conjured flowers alone in graveyards. But all those little victories and happy moments made it worth it. The love and support of her family kept her going. And Remus made her smile every single day, without fail.
Like right now, as he led her to the cafe instead of into the woods for the morning run, so he could excitedly show her the new ovens and appliances at the cafe. She watched him as he whipped up a batch of her favorite coffee cake, because while it was good when he made it at home, he insisted nothing beat the magic of making it here. Remus flitted about the kitchen like an overexcited baby bunny and Fae was completely enamored by his cute apron and the cocoa powder smeared across his nose and the way he made sure to save some of the espresso so she had a latte to drink while the cake set. They shared the leftover mascarpone cream on the spoon and the look of absolute joy on his face as Fae took her first, perfect bite of cake was just too much for her. Her darling was so unfailingly kind and clever and beautiful. And for whatever reason, he loved her. Remus loved her.
She took a second bite and then leaned over the counter to kiss him deeply and thoroughly share the exquisite flavor, although he tasted much better. The blush that spread across his cheeks and painted his shocked face bright red had Fae's heart racing even faster and she was helpless. Had no choice but to surrender. He was just. She just. She had to lean back in for more kisses. And pull apart to smear some cake across his mouth before kissing him again, giggling between licks and pecks. The pupils in Remus' pretty eyes dilated completely and Fae was sure her's were the same as he cupped her face in his hands, leaned in, and kissed her properly, passionately. Tongues tangling, heat overwhelming her, taste and tingling and touch leaving her mind blank, the counter between them digging into their hips as they tried to get as close as they could.
When her mug was knocked over, they pulled apart with a gasp and then laughter as they frantically tried to clean it up before it spilled over the counter. Remus was quick with a conjured towel and she gazed lovingly at his panicked, flustered, thoroughly-snogged expression. Then she set her hand over his and laced their fingers together, prompting him to forget about the mess and return his attention to her.
"I owe you a date, don't I?" she said.
He blinked at her and then his mouth stretched wide in a breathtaking, sweet smile. "Yes, I believe you do," he said.
"Then how's about tonight? You, me, and that nice Italian Place by the Ministry. 6 o'clock?" she asked with a hopeful grin.
"Sounds perfect," he said, giving her hand a kiss, eyes alight with joy and promise. Fae was left shaking.
A/N: Ya girl is FUCKED UP. And I want to take a minute to broadcast the wonder that is therapy. Guys, I know it's expensive af and some of you may think you need to be like, Fae-levels of fucked up to warrant a therapist. I'm telling you now, therapy is great for ANYONE for ANY REASON and it's worth the cost. Specifically, I enjoy my experience with Better Help. It's online so it's convenient and they actually have discounts for lower incomes. Seriously though, therapy is really awesome. If done right, it'll probably shred you and your therapist won't let you get away with any of your bullshit and you'll come out of it as a much better, stronger, and more stable person, thank you for coming to my TedTalk.
Anyways. GUYS. Two chapters left.
And, for those who still like Remus or Fae at all, it's time for the pay-off.