"Hey, Star?"
"Yeah?"
"Can I have my pants back, please?" He asked, still lying on the floor.
"Ha ha, you could have gotten them on your own, you know." She said, grabbing his black, denim jeans off the floor.
"I was caught up in the moment. Alright?" He defended, staring up at the metallic ceiling.
Star bunched his jeans into a ball. "From way downtown!" She called, springing off the couch and shooting it over like a basketball, hitting Marco, square in the face.
"Thank you."
Star flinched. "Sss! My bad!" She loudly whispered.
Marco sat himself up, letting the pants fall from his face and into his lap. He sniffled, hard, trying to get the mucus out of his system, before slipping his jeans on, under the blanket.
Oh shoot. She almost forgot about their whole… moment. "You good?" She asked.
Marco rubbed his eyes. "*Sniff* mm-hm, yeah… Yeah, I'm good." Marco answered, beginning to stretch his arms. "Pride's a little damaged…" He grunted. "But other than that, I think I'll manage."
"You do realize that this conversation isn't over, right?"
"Yeah yeah yeah." He groaned, clearly not happy about it. "I knew you wouldn't let it go." Marco threw the blanket off of his waist and got to his feet. He plopped himself down on the couch, with a huff.
Star immediately took his head and turned it to face her. She shot her friend a warm smile. "Just two friends hangin' out…" She cooed.
"I don't really think this applies her-"
"Marco… say the thing…" She growled through clenched teeth.
"But if we actually… you know, 'get together' then it's not gonna be just two friends hangin' out."
"Is that really what you think?"
Marco hesitantly nodded his head.
Star gently took both of Marco's hands in her own. "Marco, I don't know where you're getting this from… but no matter what happens between us, we're friends first." Star placed a quick, gentle kiss on his forehead. "Never forget that."
Star released Marco's hands. He brought one to his forehead, gently rubbing the spot where she kissed him.
"Now, let's try this again." She said, identically grabbing her friend's head and turning it to face her. "Just two friends hangin' out…"
"I mean, Star. It's just-"
Star shot him a dirty look.
Marco sighed, admitting defeat. "Nothing to be embarrassed about." He mumbled.
"That didn't sound like you meant it, Marco" She scolded.
Marco turned to face forward, slouching down and leaning his forearms onto his knees. "Look, this all still makes me extremely uncomfortable. Alright? And a stupid little catchphrase isn't gonna change that. Look, why do my feelings on the subject even matter, anyway? I said I'd do it, didn't I?"
"I just don't want you to feel like you need to hide anything from me." She said, softly and quietly. Star placed a hand on his shoulder. "We're not doing anything drastic, we're not setting anything in stone. We're just gonna talk this over. That's it. Just talking. We talk all the time. It's gonna be fine. You're thinking too far ahead, Marco. One step at a time, buddy."
Marco didn't want to admit it, but she was making a lot of really solid points. His fears were not gone, but Marco was able to hide them away, for a brief period of time. Marco simply turned to her and smiled. That was all Star needed to see. Star happily smiled back at him. "Alright, but before we do…" Marco began. "Can I go get some fresh clothes, and, you know… underwear?" He said, examining his body. "A shower wouldn't hurt either."
Star looked down at her own apparel, eyeing the faint, damp patch on the front of her dress. "Yeah, I should probably get cleaned up, too."
Marco gave his friend a quizzical look. "Why haven't you changed your clothes, this entire time? We're in your room, after all."
"Because they haven't gotten dirty yet?" she said, as if it were obvious. "Not everyone has a fresh pair of identical clothing for every day of the week, Marco." Star hopped off the couch and on to her feet. "And, come on, this dress is really cute." She said, spinning around, a few times, to show it off. "It was stitched by my royal guard nanny for my 12th birthday. One of a kind."
"You don't wash your clothes every day? That's gross."
"It's practical. If it's not dirty, don't clean it. Washing your clothes every single day is a waste of precious recourses."
"How many outfits do you have?"
"Leaving out PJs and formal wear?"
Marko nodded.
"I think, like, three, maybe four. Closet's kind of a mess, so there could be more in there, but they're not gonna be easy to find, and they're probably in no condition to be worn."
Marco planned on pushing her a bit more, on the issue, but decided to drop it, once he caught a whiff of himself. "Alright!" He clapped, with a smile on his face. "So it's settled then. We're gonna go freshen up, then have our little talk."
"Sounds good to me." She said, cheerfully withdrawing the magical blades from her satchel. Without hesitation, Star jabbed the blades into the air, and ran it down to the floor.
Before either of them could step through, a familiar face immediately emerged from the portal. "Hell-lo!" the small figure cheerfully greeted.
"Glossaryck!" Star shouted, gleefully throwing her arms into the air.
"At your service, milady." He bowed. The small, blue… um… thing hovered five feet off the ground, in a cross-legged position. He wore an oversized Hawaiian flower shirt over his robe and a pair of sunglasses on his forehead. Each hand held a brown, leather suitcase, covered with stickers from across the multiverse. Glossaryck floated over to the party table and set his bags down. Taking a few chips from the bowl beside him, Glossaryck turned his head, noticing Marco was in the room too. "Oh… Hey, kid." He greeted, his mouth full of chewed-up chips. "You're here too, huh?"
"Indeed I am." Marco deadpanned, crossing his arms. "Anyway, we need your help, Glossaryck." He said, getting to his feet.
"The trip was lovely, thanks for asking. Love what you've done with the place, Princess." The blue guru said. His gaze, scanning around the cold, metallic scenery. "Page 846. A classic!" Glossaryck kissed his fingertips, as if examining a quite-a spicy meatball. "What's the occasion?"
Star blushed. "Um… It's not important… But we need the counterspell. Do you know where it is?"
Glossaryck hovered over to the massive, open book on the floor. Looking over the pages and stroking his white beard. "Ah, yes… A little bit of history, kids. Take notes. What we've got here is a class: H-7 spell. Meaning that it was created and used for wars fought against the kingdom. To make sure that, if they got a hold of the book, the enemy could not disable their magical defenses, all H-7 counterspells were made cryptic and hidden throughout the book."
Star stared at the blue man, then down at the sloppily written book. "…This book has a class system?"
"This book has any system?" Marco added.
"It is a very complicated algorithm that I have devoted my entire existence to memorizing, that's why I'm here, you're welcome, by the way, now do you want this spell gone, or what?"
"Yes please." The two said, in unison.
"Alright." Glossaryck tossed Marco a pen and paper. "Here ya go, kid. Get ready to write this down."
"W-What? Why me?" Marco stammered, caught off-guard by the sudden responsibility.
"Because you were closer and you got nicer handwriting."
Marco silently stared at him.
"Take the compliment, kid." Glossaryck began to thumb through the pages with remarkable speed and precision. Glossaryck suddenly stopped his search, and flipped to the page he had found. "Blueberry Gumdrop."
Marco raised an eyebrow. "Blueberry Gumdrop?"
"It's a hidden counterspell, buddy. You expect it to make sense? I thought I told you to take notes."
Marco silently wrote down 'Blueberry Gumdrop,' as Glossaryck began his search for the next page.
"Junk Goblet."
"Junk… Goblet?"
Glossaryck looked up from the book. "Are you going to question every word I say? Hidden. Cryptic. Write it down."
Marco wrote down 'Junk Goblet,' as the guru began to thumb through the pages, once more.
"Harambe."
"Harambe?!"
"H-A-R-A-M-B-E." Glossaryck spelled, beginning to fan through the pages, once again. "I don't know what it means either, kid. It's just a nonsense word, like Abracadabra or Shamalamadingdong. Write it down."
After a few more minutes of this, Marco had a complete counterspell for both the metal plating and the turrets.
"Alright, let me see if you got it all down." Glossaryck floated over to the boy and snatched the paper from his grasp. The blue guru glanced down at the piece of paper. "You spelled globschpeel, alcahochi, and artichoke wrong? What's the matter, kid? I thought you were the smart one."
"I heard that!" Star shouted, from across the room.
"I love ya, sweetheart, but don't kid yourself. I've seen your grades. They're a trainwreck."
Star crossed her arms. "Grades aren't everything, you know." She huffed to herself.
Glossaryck floated over to the pouting princess, giving her a condescending pat on the head. "Yes, but they are something. Primarily a measurement of intellect." He said, handing the counterspell to her. "Cheer up, kid. You're still a better dancer than him."
"I have zero arguments to that!" Marco shouted, from across the room.
Glossaryck floated back over to Marco's side. "Alright, Princess. Fire at will! You might want to stand back, kid…" He said, snapping on a pair of safety goggles.
"More than I already am?" Marco said.
"Ehhh… I'd get behind the bed, if I were you. Safety first. You never know what's gonna happen."
"'Never know?' I thought you knew this spell!" Marco said, kneeling down to hide behind the bed.
"I do." Glossaryck replied, popping up next to him. "But, like anything, there is room for error."
"Is Star gonna be alright?"
"She'll be fine… probably. Let 'er rip, Princess!"
"Okay." She said, a bit nervously. With her wand in one hand, and the spell in the other, Star took a deep breath. "Here goes nothing." She murmured to herself, glancing down at the single piece of paper in her hand. Star held her wand to the heavens, face, practically buried in the notesheet. "Hypno Alcahochi Clippity Cloppity Coo!" She chanted, as her wand began to glow. The instant the final word was cast, a beam of white light erupted from the wand, winding and weaving, all around the room. Every turret that came into contact with the magical serpent of light, began to shake, violently, before erupting into a cloud of sparkles and butterflies.
"Blueberry Gumdrop. Junk Goblet. Harambe Solkaiya..." Star began to chant again, as her wand began to emit a swirling, pink glow. The metal walls began to creek and wail, as if under immense pressure. Star didn't let up on the spell. "Globschpeel Pan Flute. Artichoke Lillypad…" She continued. The walls began to shake as a few of the metal bolts began to shoot off its hinges.
"Are you sure this is how it's supposed to go?" Marco shouted over the noise.
"Give it time. Give it time." The blue guru responded.
"Bingo Bango. Bluetooth Buttercup. Spellto Hopscotch. Bylorooni!" Star shouted the final words, triumphantly into the air. The walls began to bend and dent themselves. Right before it seemed that the walls were going to collapse in on them, a rainbow beam of magic rocketed out of her wand, and into the ceiling. The rainbow wave road down the walls of the room, flawlessly wiping away the metallic plating, as if it were nothing more than rain on a windshield. When the wave reached the bottom, her room was completely back to normal. Star was grateful that she wasn't crushed by two ton metal plating, and all… but it was also a little anticlimactic.
Seeing the door, without a word to either of them, Marco rocketed out of the room, and hopped into the shower.
(Jesus, Jim. Two Harambe jokes in one story? You sure are 'on fleek' with the millennial youth culture.)
Fuck you, it's ironic.
What? Don't give me that look. The story's labeled romance/humor. This is a humor chapter. You knew what you were signing up for...