Fezco was shaking. There was broken glass strewn across his apartment. There was blood on his knuckles, splashed on his face.
Shit gets out of hand, from time to time, it was a nature of the work. It was still unpleasant whenever it did. He couldn't see straight, so he shook his head, trying to recalibrate.
Ash simply walked to the kitchen, gathering the broom and dust pan.
One of his buyers, another unpleasant addict-type, usually depending on pawned stolen items to get what he needed, was upset on the lack of a lay-away program. Fez told him it wasn't K-mart, and that he wouldn't have let him in his house if he didn't have the cash to buy. The guy, DK, was twitchy and in and out of homeless shelters, something inside him snapped, and he put his hand through the front room window, and in the bloody mess grabbed a shard, lunging at Fez.
As brave as methheads were, they weren't great fighters. But now there was an unconscious methhead on his carpet, blood on his face, and he had a whole other slew of problems to deal with.
He stepped over the passed out DK, to rinse his hands in the sink. He thought about all the things this sink had seen. How much these walls had seen. He spat, thinking for a panicked moment he tasted blood, but his saliva came out clear.
"Fuck." He groaned. The tweaker had gotten one good hit, and he could tell he was gonna have a black eye, but he hadn't cut him, which would be much worse to deal with.
Ash and him collected the broken glass, tidied up the mess. They carried DK out together, he was grateful for the cover of night, but honestly, his neighbors were used to the bullshit that came in and out of his place at this point. There was a dumpster on the side of one of the back alleys, where they gently put DK down. He bent, making sure there was still breath coming from the guy's nostrils, which there was. So he wasn't dumping a dead body, just a body.
He got in the shower as soon as he was back inside, letting the hot water rinse away any blood left behind. He sighed, trying to catch his breath. The tension in his muscles from the adrenaline was making him feel twitchy. Everything was a drug, he figured.
There was a pounding on the front door, and he swore. Sure that DK had woken up, and returned, instead of scuttling away to the little rat-hole he belonged.
He jumped out of the shower, tying a towel around his waist quickly, pissed he was going to have to fight this dumbass again, and this time naked.
He threw the front door open, and was in the middle of his "what the fuck-" roar when he stopped. Lexi stood, dressed in jeans and a yellow tshirt, her hair messy on top of her head, and she looked fucking gleeful.
"I got the car!" she squeaked, holding up keys.
"Lex, Jesus Christ, Lex." He said, pushing the screen open and looking around behind her before grabbing her wrist and pulling her inside.
"What, what?" she stammered, looking at him with panic. "Shit, your eye! Oh god, what the fuck?" she spun around, catching sight of the fist shaped hole in the front window, blood still around the jagged bits of glass.
He racked his brain, remembering this had been the plan. She'd just finished her drivers test, and now she was here to pick him up 'for a change', as she put it.
"The fuckin' day I've had, I forgot you were coming, I thought you were someone else." He said, shutting the door behind them. He held the towel in place with one hand.
"Do you have ice?" she asked.
"Probably not." He said. "You don't gotta be a girl scout about it, I'm fine."
She rolled her eyes, crossing to the kitchen to open the freezer. She found a bag of frozen peas, and returned to him. He leaned against the back of the couch, and let the sweet girl press the package of vegetables against his cheek.
"I didn't mean to surprise you, I'd texted, but figured maybe you fell asleep." She explained. Water dripped off his beard, and she scratched at it, so mist went everywhere. "You wanna talk about it?"
"We can talk about it in the car, we had plans. Seriously, I'm alright. I'm not gonna have you stick around here for long, let me just get changed.
She dropped the hand holding the peas in defeat, and he pushed past her.
He came back out wearing track pants and a dark green tshirt, and grabbed a hoodie off the back of a chair. She could sense how on edge he was as he pulled on the hoodie, and stepped back into his sneakers. He reached between the couch cushions, slipping the gun in his waistband. She sucked on her bottom lip, nervous.
"C'mon." he said, impatient, his voice stressed.
He held her hand as they walked to her car, keeping her tightly behind him. She glanced around, trying to visually grasp onto whatever it was that was giving him anxiety, but it was really clear it was somewhere deep in his psyche.
She didn't bother asking where to go, she just started driving. He leaned the passenger seat back, pressing his palms into his face. She pursed her lips, trying to think of what to say to make him feel better, but accepted that silence might be what he needed.
After a few minutes, he uncovered his face. He reached over, putting his hand on her leg.
"Hey." He said.
"Hi." She replied, smiling over at him.
"I'm really glad you passed your test, Lex." He said. "I'm sorry, sincerely, I wasn't trying to be high strung."
"You can be high strung." She said. "We have to make space for each other's feelings. I wasn't taking it personal. You alright?"
"Just some mad dumb shit happened and it wigged me out a little bit."
"What happened to the window?"
"This crackhead put his fist through it." He said. Her stomach did a flip, but she didn't make it obvious. "Then he grabbed a piece of the glass, like a knife, came at me."
She swallowed. She let the silence hang heavy with his statement. She started to picture it, and then shook her head slightly, not wanting that in her head. How could she truly come to cope with the fact she was falling for someone who saw these things on a regular basis? She had to remind herself that he was just a couple years older than her, that it was he result of his circumstances that led him on this life path.
"How was your day?" he asked dryly, and she snorted.
"What else happened?"
"I knocked the glass out of his hand, and it was fine. Just got in a sucker punch before he went down, and thus the eye." He said, emphasizing the word she'd taught him a few weeks ago, which made her smile.
"Thus the eye." She echoed.
"Where are we going?" he asked.
"Hmm, great question." She said. For a second, she felt a bubble of resentment in her belly for the circumstances. Not just his, but also hers. Every now and then she felt a pang, wanting for a normal relationship, or whatever it was. A guy who would tell her about his soccer practice, and not carry a 9mm in his waistband.
"Yo, Lex, I didn't mean to stress you out."
"You didn't." she replied, but the response was sharp. "Sorry, sorry. I just worry about you. Want better for you."
He sighed, moved his hand away from her thigh.
"You and me both."
They both briefly fell back asleep, and then she was awoken by her phone's Facetime chime. She slid out of bed, grabbing it and scurrying to the bathroom. It was Cassie.
"Dude." Cassie looked at her, eyes wide. "Dude, where the fuck even are you?"
"Uhhh." Lexi sat down on the toilet, peeing. She shut one eye, trying to adjust to the bright morning light.
"You look wrecked." Cassie whispered.
"I'm at Fez's." she said.
"That's his house?" Cassie asked. "Move your head, show me."
"No, stop, what do you want?" Lexi hissed.
"What did you do!" Cassie shrieked. "That's not your shirt."
Lexi heard the bed squeak, and heard Fez's footsteps retreat downstairs. She smiled ruefully, feeling for the first time in her life like a proper fuckup. Cassie's eyes bulged.
"Listen, I'll be home soon." Lexi said. "Is she on one yet?" trying to change the subject to more pleasant topics, like her mother's bullshit.
"No, not yet." Cassie said. "I literally need to hear about this like, right now, did you guys fuck or what?"
"I'll be home soon, goodbyeeee!"
"No no don't hang up I'm so bored, plea-"
She hung the call up. She set the phone beside her, wincing as she pulled the boxers back up. She found the mouthwash bottle again, giving a good swig. She splashed cool water on her face, waking up steadily. She paused, looking at herself in the mirror. Her hair was a mess, and not in a sexy way, she could see parts of it started to get matted, mostly because it had been several hours and some serious fucking since she'd had a chance to brush it. She tied it up, tapping her cheeks lightly.
"What happened?" she whispered at herself, and then, despite her best efforts, smiled widely. She already wanted more.
She left the bathroom, tiptoeing down the stairs. She peeked around the corner, and watched Fez fiddling with something in the corner of the kitchen.
"Yo, so, I ain't ever used this thing before." He said, pointing at the coffee machine. "I was tryna be cool and hook it up because I figured, like, college girls drink coffee and stuff, but I think it's broken?"
She laughed, moving past him, examining the Kuerig.
"I don't think it's broken but you do have to put water in it for it to work."
"That would make sense." He said.
She unplugged it, moving it to the sink. She filled it carefully, and plugged it back in. After pressing a few quick buttons, it began to heat up. Satisfied, she turned to him.
"College." She said, wiggling her fingers in the direction of the coffee pot. He grinned, opening the fridge and pulling out a Redbull. "Well, for the record, that would have been an adequate source of caffeine."
"Damn, that woulda saved me a few minutes." He shook his head, sliding onto one of the barstools. "I'd offer to make you breakfast but I actually don't have any breakfast-y foods. It's a miracle I have coffee."
"It certainly feels that way." She sighed, opening cupboards, seeking out a mug.
"Left cupboard next to the microwave." He directed, and she pulled one out. He had a sparse but nice stock of kitchen things, some pieces looking like he'd taken them from his grandma's collection. In fact, he smiled when she turned with her choice of mug.
"That was my grandma's favorite." He said. It was a black mug with bright red block lettering that said MOTHERFUCKER. "It made her laugh almost every morning, like, she'd be so tickled just pouring herself a cup of joe. Motherfucker was her favorite word."
He marveled at the sight before him, at her long legs tiptoeing across his kitchen floor, as she curiously examined the contents of the cabinets. He'd learned a long time ago if he was quiet enough she'd eventually just start observing her surroundings, constantly trying to learn. Her hair was pulled up, but a few stray pieces were trailed down her neck, curling slightly at the ends. The morning looked good on her, she was glowing. He thought also this may have been a side effect from the orgasm, which only made him twinge with desire. He zoned out, staring at her, remembering fondly what she looked like underneath that tshirt, what noises he'd coaxed out of her.
"Hey." She said. She'd successfully brewed the mug of coffee, and she was leaned forward on the counter, looking back at him. "Stoner." She snorted, and he sheepishly grinned.
"How you feelin'?" he asked. "You gotta get back to do the whole family thing, right?"
"Oh yeah, big time. Dreading it, honestly. I don't know why this was all easier before, but now that I've experienced life on the other side, returning back here gets harder." She sighed. "Why, you wanna come?"
"Yeah, I'm cool off that." He winced. "I mean, sorry, it's not you, just family stuff in general isn't my area of expertise. Not an environment I flourish in."
"I gotta say, and please don't take this the wrong way, but you sound…different now." She said. "Like the way you speak. It's the same, in a lot of ways, but it's also different."
"I don't read as much as you probably, but I been listening to a lot of audiobooks. Mostly on business management, and other subjects. It's like research, it's cool, but I can still do other stuff too. Plus Ash is all into investment stuff, he's really the brains behind a lot of it."
She nodded, thinking this over. His intentional movement towards improvement impressed her. In some ways, she'd feared he'd remain stagnant, but he was too smart for that. She'd known that the moment she'd met him, how smart he was, but in a deeply wise way, smart in a people sense. They'd taught each other a lot. She sipped her coffee, squinting at him, trying to wrap her head around the new Fez, the vastly successful Fez. Successful in the realm of drugs, she reminded herself, but where there's a market there must be a supplier.
"So big businessman gonna start going by Finnian soon?"
"Shut the fuck up, Alexis." He laughed. "If that info gets out I'm finished in this town." He stood, leaning forward to kiss her on the forward. The movement seemed very domestic, and almost out of character, but as soon as his lips made contact with her forehead, she felt a glow in the depth of her belly that pushed her intuition in the direction of this is the most natural thing in the world.
The sunlight had filled the living room, and she could see he had a nice view of the rolling hills in the distance. She let herself indulge in the idea of spending time here over the next few weeks, of sharing space with this person who only ever ignited fire in her soul, of feeling comfortable in a space in this town for a change. To be able to walk around a house not in constant anxiety. They could play house for a bit, before she had to return to all that was waiting for her.
Her face fell, remembering that fact.
"What happened?" he asked, noticing her expression straight away.
"Oh, just thinking about everything today. Might as well get it over with. Is Thanksgiving busy for you?" she asked.
"Nah, we've got operating hours now. There's a whole system in place, and now there's underlings who do the work for me. I just do the big deals, and oversee." He tried to explain, keeping it vague. She frowned slightly, digesting this information.
"Like Heisenberg." She said.
"You don't think I'm more of like, a Jesse type guy?"
She laughed.
"I gotta get dressed. Thanks for the coffee."
"You're welcome, I didn't do anything."
She started to walk upstairs, but he blocked her path for a moment. He grabbed her chin, kissing her carefully. They were both playing their games of pretend. He pretended for a moment she was his girlfriend, and that he kissed his girlfriend before he went to work in the morning. She pretended she didn't have to deal with the oncoming onslaught of bullshit the rest of the day.
Everything is a game of pretend until it gets real.