Summary: Desperate to get Mira off her back about Natsu, Lisanna lies about her sexuality…this only makes things worse.
Pairings: Implied Natsu/Lisanna, Lisanna/Lucy, Natsu/Lucy, Lucy/Gray, one-sided Lisanna/Edo-Natsu, one-sided Lisanna/Edo-Lucy, Edo-Natsu/Edo-Lucy, Lisanna/Bickslow, and one-sided Freed/Laxus. Most of it is all in Mira's head, I promise you!
YouTube Prompt: A Fairy Tail tribute to the song We Are by Ana Johnsson, after all the chorus itself 'What about the world today? What about the place we call home? We've never been so many, and we've never been so alone' just seems to be made for the guild.
Lisanna was enjoying a very rare peaceful afternoon in the guild.
Either everyone was out on a job or nursing a hangover from last night's party that was in celebration of….well just because they can throw a party on a Tuesday if they so wish too. So here Lisanna lounged in a corner, milkshake in hand, and a large collection of Sorcerer Weekly for her to catch up on. Elfman nii-chan had saved all of Mira-nee's pictures and articles in many scrap books so there were a lot of holes in the old magazines.
It was then when Mira-nee decided to stir up some mischief. Perhaps because she was bored or perhaps because she had hoped to assert her matchmaking talents once more. "So, Lisanna…" she grinned, "how have you and Natsu been?"
Lisanna suppressed an urge to roll her eyes. Just yesterday she had overheard her sister trying to set Natsu and Lucy up and now she was trying to set the same bloke up with her? Consistency was definitely not her sister's strength. "Fine," she said cheerfully as possible, "we haven't had time to catch up properly still, what with me trying to catch up with everything, and Natsu going on jobs with Gray and Erza. Never thought I'd see that in a million years."
"It was a shock for us as well," Mira-nee agreed. "if you like I could set up some alone time with you and Natsu," it was then Mira-nee's smile turned into a sly smirk, "distract Happy, find a nice secluded corner, and perhaps a date will come out of it, ne?"
Lisanna grimaced. "I rather not," she confessed.
Mira-nee's smile vanished entirely. "Why not?"
Lisanna knew, right there and then, that if she told the truth, her sister will stop at nothing to set her up with another man she deemed compatible to Lisanna's change in taste. After all if Lisanna didn't want to go out on a date with someone because she out grew her silly crush then what's to stop her from going out with someone entirely different?
Lisanna wanted some time, like maybe years, with her siblings to make up for everything they had lost out on, before she started dating, and then hopefully get married, and have a baby or two.
So she decided on a lie.
"I'm in love with someone," she confessed, "someone in Edolas."
"Oh Lisanna!" Mira-nee cried out. "I'm sure Edo-Natsu and Natsu aren't that different really."
They weren't that different from one another which was partly why Lisanna moved on from Natsu. While Natsu was strong, confident, and incredibly mature during the more difficult scenarios, he was also incredibly childish. Meanwhile Edo-Natsu was quiet, confident only behind the wheel, and (as mean as it sounded) a total baby. Edo-Natsu exhibited Natsu's childishness in the worst light and it had thoroughly put her off. Oh she still loved him like she loved Elfman nii-chan! She wasn't shallow or anything…..just not attracted to that sort of person. She discovered she liked dangerous, wild, types like a certain madman with a tattoo on his tongue…
"It wasn't Natsu!" Lisanna shouted, her cheeks were bright pink at her own thoughts. "It was someone else, and they were in a relationship, and I haven't been able to get over it!" she carried on her lie hastily before her sister could interrogate her.
"Who?" Mira-nee asked eagerly.
Oh crap….
"Erm…it was….ah….Edo-Lucy!"
Oh please God, if you are merciful, never, never, let Edo-Lucy find out that she had said this. The terrifying, leather-wearing, definitely the Edolas version of Erza, blonde would kill Lisanna if she knew about this. The last time someone coughJetandDroycough made aspersions over her sexuality she had left them as a bloody pile of broken bones. And then proved them wrong by dragging Edo-Natsu into a cupboard but that was a whole different story…
"Oh my God!" Mira-nee squealed. "I never considered that! But then no one in the guild has ever shown any homosexual tendencies….well apart from Freed but sadly for him that seems to be entirely a one-sided thing. Shame I like those two together. But I wouldn't give up, Lisanna! Just because Edo-Lucy is unavailable it doesn't mean this Lucy is. I'm sure when given some time to get to know you she'll fall madly in love with you and you can have the most gorgeous civil partnership in the guild, Master will off-"
"Mira-nee!" Lisanna shrieked. The guild was now actually starting to get some people in including Macao, Wakaba, and Cana, if they all heard of this then she will never hear the end of this. "Can we not talk about this right now?"
"Oh right," Mira-nee winked, "we'll talk later."
She then hurried off to serve other customers much to Lisanna's relief. She sighed happily and returned to her reading. For the next hour she was able to finally relax, in between greeting random passer-by's, when Lucy and Natsu came in. Natsu immediately dived into a brawl with some of the other non-hung over blokes while Lucy strolled to the request board.
That was when Lisanna's lie started to backfire. "Ne, ne, Lucy," Mira-nee said slyly, "Have you thought of taking this job," she tapped her finger on a flyer. "I think it would suit you very much."
"But Mira, it's a job for two girls not two people!" Lucy protested.
Lisanna sunk low in her seat as she shakily held the old magazine up in order to hide her red face. She had a strong feeling that she knew where this was going…
"Ask Lisanna to go with you!" Mira-nee suggested brightly.
"Huh?"
Lisanna wondered if someone could kill her now before Mira-nee said anything else that could embarrass her.
"Lisanna," Mira-nee repeated, "you know, my gorgeous, intelligent, sweet, baby sister? You do think she's gorgeous, don't you?"
Too late.
"I-I suppose," Lucy stuttered.
"Excellent!" Mira-nee clapped her hands. "Well off you pop! Ask her nicely, perhaps with flowers, no one has ever gotten her flowers when she's alive, and find somewhere nice and safe to stay when you get there, oh and when you have some free time you should take her out somewhere special for dinner, somewhere with candles and violin music!"
"Erm…okay?"
Lisanna quickly looked for an escape route as Lucy approached her but unfortunately none could be found. Well…none that weren't guarded by Mira-nee. "Hi Lisanna," Lucy smiled shyly, "erm…Mira suggested that you might like to join me for this job-"
"It's okay, Lucy," Lisanna mumbled, "You don't have to take me. Mira-nee only suggested it because…." Oh God this was so embarrassing! But if she didn't tell Lucy now then Mira-nee will keep dropping hints to her until either one of them was in a relationship or dead, you know whichever came first, and Lucy didn't deserve the harassment. "Well…I erm lied about having a crush on you."
"EH?!" Lucy cried out, her eyes bulged out of their sockets. "Why?" she asked. Lisanna babbled an explanation as quickly and quietly as she could. She didn't think Lucy caught everything but surprisingly she seemed to understand immediately. "Oh I see," she nodded sagely, "Mira tried the same thing with me and Natsu….and me and Gray….and me and, well you get the picture," she smiled sheepishly, "don't worry, I'll be your beard for you," she winked, and Lisanna couldn't help but grin in return. Lucy was so nice and sweet, and so unlike her Edolas counterpart.
"Thank you so much!" she said fervently.
"You're welcome," Lucy smiled, "do you want to do this job with me anyway? It's a good reward and I'd like to get to know you some more."
"That would be nice," Lisanna smiled back shyly.
"All right then!" Lucy pumped a fist in the air. "I'll let Mira know and we'll leave as soon as possible."
As Lucy went to inform Lisanna's irritating, matchmaking, crazy, older, sister that they were taking the job, Lisanna got ready to go. With a wave goodbye to everyone, she and Lucy only just got outside the door when Mira-nee called out; "PRACTICE SAFE SEX!"
Both she and Lucy died of embarrassment as everyone whistled and cat-called after them.
You know, in hindsight, Lisanna was definitely better off telling her sister she was asexual.