Summary: Everyone loves to invade Lucy's house… It's not just a Natsu, Happy, Erza, and Gray thing!

Pairings: Cana/Gray/Loke friendship, Cana/Lucy friendship, Lucy/Mirajane friendship, Parental Master/Lucy, sisterly Lucy/Gray, Natsu/Lucy, Levy/Lucy, Levy/books, Lucy/books, Levy/Gajeel, Jet/Droy/Levy triangle, Gray/Juvia, Natsu/Lucy, Laki/Laki, Reedus/Lucy friendship, Lisanna/Lucy friendship, Gajeel/Lily friendship, parental Gildarts/Cana, parental Gildarts/Natsu, Gildarts/Lucy if you squint and look at it that way, implied Kinana/Cobra, Natsu/Lucy, Max/Broom, sisterly Lucy/Romeo, sisterly Lucy/Wendy, implied Jellal/Erza, Natsu/Lucy, sisterly Lucy/Asuka, Alzack/Bisca, and I have mentioned Natsu/Lucy, right?

YouTube Prompt: Do you know there has yet to be a video tribute to Natsu with the song 'Your Sex is on Fire'…..THIS NEEDS TO BE FIXED!

Cana:

The first time Cana had ever visited Lucy in her apartment had been midway through the blonde's second month in Fairy Tail. It wasn't so much as a visit as a drunken break in well after midnight. Lucy had heard someone rummaging through her kitchen and, with whip and keys at the ready, had planned to ambush them before they took anything of value. She stumbled to a halt when she caught sight of the willowy brunette that she only just got to know on first name basis.

"Luuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucy," Cana moaned childishly, "there's no booze, why do you have no booze?"

"Because I don't drink," Lucy replied automatically, and then she realised that there was a drunk in her kitchen that she most definitely did not invite. "Why are you in my apartment?!" she shrieked.

Cana shrugged. "Gray said it was all right."

"Did he now?"

(Across town Gray woke with a start as he felt an unnatural chill down his spine as he had a disturbing feeling someone was going to kill him. He cried himself to sleep as he tried to figure out what he did to piss off Erza this time.)

Cana didn't reply as she tripped, stumbled, and then grabbed hold of Lucy as her face went straight into her bosom. "Huh," she murmured, "Happy is right, your boobs are very comfortable."

And with that she fell asleep leaving Lucy to deal with her mess.

Loke:

Loke broke into Lucy's apartment for a very good reason, and not just because Gray made it feel like a challenge by telling him how easy it was. This good reason was to do with his secret, something he hadn't told anyone, not even Master, or Gray and Cana who were his closest friends….

He had once been the leader of the twelve zodiacs before he committed his grave sin, and he still felt obliged to check upon his lost family. Lucy was a celestial mage which was terrifying. His last few experiences with them hadn't been good. Karin had been the worst but before her it had been one abusive fuck after another. Lucy owned four of his precious family members and several friends, he had to make sure they were okay and not being mistreated.

So he broke in in the middle of the night and rummaged through Lucy's belongings. He couldn't find her keys anywhere at first. They weren't in her jewellery box, or abandon across her desk, they weren't on her bedside table, or in a drawer tucked away safely. It wasn't until a glimmer in the moonlight that caught his eye, had he found them.

They were held tightly to her chest like a teddy bear.

Was that a good thing? He wasn't sure anymore. His trust in celestial mages had been shot to hell. Carefully he reached out to touch the keys. "Is she taking good care of you?" he whispered, wishing he could really speak to Aquarius, and Cancer, and Taurus, and Virgo.

There was a light hum from the keys as if they were replying positively (apart from Aquarius who seemed to bitching via a loud buzz) and he would have pressed for more when Lucy suddenly rolled over, and murmured incoherently under her breath.

For some reason he left feeling reassured that his family was in good care.

Mirajane:

Lucy didn't mind when Mira broke into her apartment and it wasn't just because she cleaned it all up, cooked dinner, and served her an afternoon tea with her lovely warm smile….okay, maybe it was! But no one has ever wanted to pamper her because they cared for her and not been paid to before.

It was really nice and Lucy had to blink back tears as Mira hugged her warmly before leaving.

She hadn't been hugged like that in years.

Like she was loved.

Master:

Lucy had been a bit nervous when Master had insisted on visiting. After all he was the head of a guild she only just recently joined, and so far she hadn't made the best impression with helping Natsu destroy things.

"Not to worry, Lucy," Master said cheerfully as he waved off her attempts to offer him tea and cake, "I'm just here to make sure you're safe. You're one of the three girls that doesn't live in the dorms," wait there were girl dormitories? Why did no one tell her?! "And I just want to check that there's no potential of something dangerous happening. You're one of my brats now."

Lucy blushed at that. "Thank you," she said shyly, "that means a great deal to me."

"You just sit down and let me take care of everything," Master said as he patted a fatherly hand on her shoulder. Lucy obeyed and enjoyed a nice cup of tea as she watched Master potter around her apartment mumbling to himself. He was very thorough as he examined every crook and cranny, it was when he opened her drawers that Lucy began to realise something was amiss. "Ah," Master said perversely as he rummaged through her underwear drawer. "So this is what my shitty brats were talking about when they said you had kinky underwear."

"GET OUT!"

(Laxus sighed in exasperation as he entered Magnolia only to see his grandfather fly through the sky….why did he have to be such an embarrassment?)

Elfman:

Lucy was enjoying what could be the only peaceful hour she would get this day (she learning quickly that Natsu didn't need a reason to break into her apartment, he'll just do it anyway and she should just suck it up) by reading a book she had been meaning to read for the last month. She had just gotten to a really good bit when Elfman suddenly spoke up.

"This pink bedspread isn't manly at all," he said loudly as he criticised the duvet he was sitting on. Lucy barely jumped, she was getting this used to people breaking into her apartment…it was becoming a problem. "And the curtains are so unmanly, and the books have nothing manly about him, a true man's book should have at least one wrestling scene, preferably naked, and in the woods with a wild animal, and your furniture lacks the manliness of MAN to be any use to you. This entire apartment isn't manly at all!"

Lucy will be honest here. Having just listened to her entire home that she had lovingly put together with her hard-earned money being criticised by a huge, muscled, bone-head….well it just sent her temper flying to the roof and she just snapped.

"WELL BREAKING INTO MY APARTMENT ISN'T MANLY EITHER!"

She was surprised when Elfman suddenly went on his hands and knees and started grovelling for forgiveness.

It was very weird.

Levy:

Lucy didn't mind whenever Levy broke into her apartment because Levy wasn't a selfish, destructive, stripper (yes that is aimed at Natsu, Happy, Erza, and Gray who had all left her apartment in a pig sty recently), and she always brought presents. "Books!" Lucy moaned delightfully when she came home to find Levy sitting cross-legged on her bed surrounded by piles of books that she had brought for Lucy. "Levy-Chan, I love you," Lucy declared passionately as she reached the first one.

"I love you too, Lu-Chan."

If they had ended up spending the next two hours rolling around in the books like two weirdoes it is so not anyone else's business….no matter what Natsu believes.

Nab:

"AHHHHHHH! WHY ARE YOU HERE?!"

"I…don't know…..because everyone has been doing it recently?"

"GET OUT!"

Vijeeter:

When Vijeeter asked if he could practise his dance moves in Lucy's apartment (something about his home being fumigated and he didn't want the guild to see it just yet since it was a surprise for Nab's birthday), Lucy didn't see what the problem could be. But then he played the most headache inducing music in the world and his moves were dizzyingly complicated that she had to look away.

SMASH!

She whirled round to see her favourite vase had been accidentally knocked off her coffee table and shattered on the hard wooden floorboards. Deep breaths, she reminded herself. "Oops," Vijeeter said sheepishly, "I hope that wasn't valuable."

"It wasn't."

Money wise it wasn't but sentimentally? It had been part of the reward of her second job with just Natsu and Happy, Natsu had it handed to him, took one look at it, and shoved it into Lucy's hands as he told her it suited her weird tastes much more than his. She had treasured it more and more over the years and now it was broken.

"Oh good," Vijeeter sighed in relief, "Because that thing was hideous."

"I think you should leave," Lucy said sternly, "now."

For some reason much later that week Vijeeter kept running away from her while screaming something about Erza's twin sister….huh…..

Jet and Droy:

Lucy can be patient. Natsu may argue otherwise but quite frankly if she wasn't patient he would have been in hospital by now or killed by her hand. But as patient as Lucy can be it does have limitations and being woken up at three am would try anyone's patience, but being woken up at three am by two sobbing, grown, men was really pushing it.

"Jet, Droy, I'm tired," Lucy half whined, "Can you just tell me what you want and how you got in here so I can make sure you can't get in in the future?"

"Levy-Chan is missing!" Droy wailed. "We looked everywhere and can't find her!"

"And we got in through the chimney," Jet sniffled, "Gray said it was really easy to do…."

That's it. From now on Lucy was going to have a permanent fire going on in her fireplace to burn the arse of the next fucking prick that decides to jump in via chimney. And if it happens to be Gray's naked arse all so much the better.

"Well you go in through the chimney," Droy mumbled between sniffles, "I would have been stuck, so you opened the front door for me."

Lucy felt her eye twitched as Jet and Dory started to bicker between sobs about whether or not Droy needed to lose weight. "Levy isn't here!" she snapped finally losing her patience. "Now go away!"

"But where could she be?!" Jet wailed pathetically.

"What if she had been kidnapped?!"

"We should go to the Master now! He would know what to do!"

"Oh for God sake!" Lucy shouted. "Levy isn't in danger, she's just out on a date with Ga….Oh bugger."

It took two hours to comfort Jet and Dory enough to get them out of her apartment and hopefully into therapy because honestly they had issues. Exhausted, miserable, and generally grumpy, Lucy was desperate to go back to sleep for like the next ten hours before Natsu decides to break in.

She stumbled back into bed and snuggled into the warmth provided by her blankets and the arm that wrapped itself round her. "Where've you been?" Natsu mumbled into her ear.

….

….

….

"GET OUT OF MY APARTMENT!"

Juvia:

One morning Lucy was set to have a bath. It was one of her nice lazy mornings and she knew Natsu wasn't going to sneak in at any given moment because she had just kicked him and Happy out (she thinks they might have landed in the graveyard, a whole new record for her and her kick), and therefore she can have a couple hours of reading in the bathtub undisturbed.

She was puzzled to find water in her bath already when she entered the bathroom. She reached to touch it when it suddenly transformed into an immaculately dressed Juvia. "Gray-sama is right!" Juvia sighed blissfully. "This bath is delightful! Juvia has had the best sleep in a long time!"

Given the shock she just received as well as the extreme invasion of her privacy, Lucy was certain she could be forgiven for forcibly throwing Juvia out of her bathroom window.

The water mage shrugged it off as she rubbed her backside, stretched, and went in search of her beloved Gray-sama. Though she couldn't help but wonder just exactly how she had been successful in kidnapping Lucy that one time because blimey could she give Juvia a run for her money.

Lisanna:

"Lisanna!"

Out of all the people to break into Lucy's apartment, Lisanna never even made the list, let alone be the last Lucy would have thought of! So it was a huge shock to find the youngest take-over sibling sitting in her living room while she looked through some of Lucy's magazines.

"Oh!" she flushed a bright pink. "Sorry!" she apologised hastily. "I was just….well…erm….you see Natsu and Happy have talked about this place so often that I….kinda let my curiosity get the better of me," she admitted sheepishly.

"Did you break anything?" Lucy asked.

"No," Lisanna blinked.

"Eat me out of a home?"

"No."

"Gone through my underwear drawer?"

"God, no! Who the hell does that?"

"Half the guild," Lucy said dryly, "you'll be surprised how many perverts we have here. I don't have a problem with you being here. I'm just….surprised."

"Well we don't know each other very well," Lisanna pointed out, "I was kinda hoping to change that."

Lucy sat down beside the girl and smiled evilly as a brilliant idea came to her. "If I tell you all the crap Natsu has been up to since I met him, will you tell me all the embarrassing stories you have on him from when you were kids?"

Lisanna's embarrassment and shyness vanished instantly there and Lucy could definitely see how she was Mira's little sister with that mischievous expression. In the end they had spent all night sitting up talking and laughing. Natsu was very unimpressed when he broke in that morning and all Lucy and Lisanna did was point at him and laugh hysterically.

Women! They were all weird!

Gildarts:

When Gildarts appeared at the window Lucy freaked out a bit but she freaked out even more when Gildarts admitted that he was there to check out his daughter's best friend and his surrogate son's love interest. She kept stammering that she wasn't Natsu's love interest but the older, somewhat sexy, mage totally ignored her in favour of questioning her and rummaging through her things.

"Whoa," Gildarts murmured in appreciation as he held up Lucy's lacy knickers, "does Natsu know you wear these? If not he's in for a treat."

"Y-you pervert!"

When Cana came over to hang out with Lucy, who was so totally her best friend after all the help she had given her, she found her father standing outside in the street yelling up at Lucy's window as he begged her not to tell Cana.

"What did you do to Lucy, you big pervert?!" Cana shrieked. "You know what? I don't want to know. I'm better off with Macao as my father, at least he never made a pass at my best friend."

"Wait! Cana, it wasn't like that! Please forgive me Princess!"

Gajeel and Lily:

Lucy woke up to find Gajeel sitting by her bedside watching over her with his unblinking red eyes. She screamed and clutched her duvet against her chest. "Why are you here?!" she shouted furiously.

"Curiosity," Gajeel grunted, why the hell was everyone curious about her apartment?! "And we needed shelter from the rain."

"We?!"Lucy repeated. "Who the hell is we? Who else did you bring to my home?"

"Lucy," Lily floated in answering her question of who else was here, "you have no kiwis at all in the kitchen. That's something you need to rectify immediately."

It was far too early in the morning for this shit. So Lucy merely replied by pointing at her bedroom window and screaming. It was her automatic response now, thanks to Natsu and Happy, "OUT!" she screeched. "GET OUT NOW!"

"All right, all right, keep your knickers on," Gajeel grumbled.

He then climbed onto her bed, ignored all of her shrieks, and jumped out of the window with Lily on his back flying him safely to the ground.

"Well that was rude," Lily sniffed.

"Bah, Bunny Girl just doesn't like it when people break in without asking," Gajeel muttered, "Salamander keeps whinging about it. I didn't want to stay for long anyway, it stank of Salamander."

"Yes," Lily agreed, "I did get the impression he sprayed his scent everywhere." Gajeel said nothing in return and Lily enjoyed the companionable silence until he realised something. "Gajeel, we live in the opposite direction."

"Yeah, I know," Gajeel shrugged, "I just gotta do something in the Shrimp's room."

Lily's eyes almost popped out of his head. "You're not going to….Gajeel!"

Honestly, sometimes he wonders why none of the girls in Fairy Tail have taken restraining orders out on their male members.

Macao, Wakaba, and Romeo:

The only reason Lucy didn't fucking murder Macao and Wakaba when she found them in her apartment, stinking it up with their cigar smoke and smirking over her underwear like a pair of perverts, was because of the very embarrassed, purple haired, thirteen year old that was cringing in the corner of her room.

"Ne, Lucy, will you try this on for us?" Macao held up a red and black corset she had recently brought and wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. "Or is this all just for Natsu only?"

"Dad!" Romeo hissed humiliated.

Lucy took a deep breath and dug her nails into the palm of her hands in order to prevent herself from slapping the smug looks of these disgusting old men's faces. "I'll give you the count of ten to put that back and leave or I will kick you so hard, your ancestors will be able to feel it."

They moved very quickly at that. "We're going, we're going!" Macao shouted as time was running up. He managed to reach the front door before he turned round and remembered why he was there in the first place. "Oh yeah, Wakaba and I are going on a mission for Master, can you babysit Romeo?"

"Dad!" Romeo shouted outraged. "I'm not a little kid anymore!"

"Sure," Lucy agreed, "now get the hell out of my apartment. You can pick Romeo up at the guild later."

Once they were gone, Romeo groaned and hid his face behind his hands. "I'm sorry about them," he mumbled.

"It's all right," Lucy ruffled his hair, "it's not your fault."

A little cheered up, Romeo smiled shyly at Lucy, and then asked something that had been bothering him since his father pulled out the corset. "So do you wear that sort of stuff for Natsu-nii?"

"NO!"

Wendy and Charle:

If it was anyone else Lucy would be furious. She had just been about to make an epiphany on where to go in her latest story when there was a loud crash and she lost it. Someone had once again broken into her apartment and was getting sick of it. But one look at a terrified Wendy and a fed up Charle, both looking adorable as ever, and Lucy felt it drain away as she slumped in defeat.

"I'm sorry!" Wendy wailed. "I didn't mean to intrude!"

"Yes you did," Charle scoffed, "you were insanely curious thanks to that scoundrel Natsu and his disgusting male cat told you how fun it was."

"Please forgive me!"

Lucy really couldn't be mad at such a darling like Wendy. Especially when she was looking up at her with those big brown eyes of hers. In the end she made the two girls a cup of hot chocolate and set out a plate of cookies for them.

"Just don't make a habit out of this," she warned them, "I don't get much peace as it is, I don't need what little I get interrupted as well."

Reedus:

When Reedus broke into Lucy's apartment he was more or less instantly forgiven. After all no one else has ever broken in just to decorate her apartment with the most stunning artworks of her friends before.

Or started to paint the view from her window and see the beauty in it like she did.

He may have ended up staying for dinner.

Max:

Lucy was incredibly surprised to find Max on the other side of her door. After all the mousy-haired sand mage has never been to her apartment…ever. And to see him looking wildly worried and nervous was a concern as well. "Have you seen my broom?!" he shouted in her face. "I can't find her anywhere!"

Did he just refer his broom as a she? Never mind, not the issue at hand.

"Why would it be here?" Lucy asked confused. "I've never invited you over here before. In fact I think this is the first time you have ever been to my apartment."

"Well actually…." Max shifted nervously and smiled at her rather sheepishly. Wait, what? Has he been breaking into her apartment as well?! What is wrong with these people?! "You do know about the game, right?"

"What game?"

"Erm….never mind!" Max squeaked. "I obviously left my broom somewhere else!"

(When he was safely away from the furious Lucy he warned everyone that the game of breaking into Lucy's apartment and seeing how long they could stay without being caught was over…for now, until Lucy had forgotten about it. Which shouldn't be too long, Natsu was eyeing up some dangerous missions again.)

Warren:

"Yeah…I think I have enough now."

"When the hell did you get here?! And how long have you been here?"

"I'm insulted that you didn't notice me since I've been sitting on your bed for the last hour."

"I erm….been distracted."

"I know, writing love stories about you and – mmph!"

"Tell anyone and I'll cut your tongue out, got it?"

Warren never again tried to read Lucy's mind or break into her apartment….unless it was an emergency and he was left with no choice.

Kinana:

Kinana will never admit this to anyone but she had once broken into Lucy's apartment. It wasn't for anything mischievous or sinister! It was a research thing. After all she had heard all about Lucy's legendary seductive underwear and wanted a peek for herself.

After all she wanted to have the right stuff for when she finally met up with him again.

Laki:

"Personally I don't see what all the fuss is, my bedroom is far more interesting than yours, so I'll be going now."

"Erm…okay?"

The Connells:

Lucy was woken up by someone jumping onto her stomach. She had been ready to shout at Natsu (because seriously this hadn't been the first time he had hurt her in an attempt to sneak into her bed) when she caught sight of Bisca and Alzack leaning over her. "Howdy!" they chorused in unison.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"Lucy-nee, why are you screaming?" Asuka asked, her voice muffled by Lucy's stomach, as she cuddled into the blonde girl. "Did I hurt you? Mummy said I shouldn't jump on the bed but I was so happy to see you…"

Well that explained the pain. "No," Lucy tried to calm down, "No sweetie, you didn't hurt me, I was just shocked that's all, I didn't expect to see you." In my apartment, when I haven't let you in, and after I looked into getting security measures so no one can break in, so how the hell were you able to get in?! Lucy added furiously in her head.

"Do you know you drool in your sleep?" Bisca asked. Lucy said nothing, she was more aware of that, Natsu complained regularly about it, he kept saying she soaked his chest in the middle of the night, which she often retorted back with how he shouldn't even be in her bed to begin with. "It was so cute!" Bisca cooed motherly. "Anyway, we were hoping, if you could, look after Asuka for a little bit? We need to go on a job."

"Oh…erm…"

"So you don't mind babysitting for the day?" Bisca asked eagerly. "Excellent," she said quickly before Lucy could reply, "Thanks! We really owe you one. Now Asuka be good for Lucy-nee, Mummy and Daddy love you, take care now. Byeeeeee!"

She then dragged her husband out of Lucy's bedroom leaving her child on Lucy's lap without a second one. Lucy blinked. Asuka smiled up at her and she couldn't help but notice just how cheeky that smile was…..

Why do I get the feeling that not only have I been used but tricked?!

Jellal, Meredy, and Ultear:

You would really think that Lucy would be used to surprises by now. But then again never before has she had three fugitives enjoying afternoon tea in her living room before. Ultear was sitting very composed, Jellal looked uncomfortable, and Meredy was reading one of Lucy's magazines.

"Good afternoon, Lucy," Ultear said as she sipped her tea, "would you like to join us?"

Lucy's mouth opened and closed wordlessly which caused Meredy to giggle a little. "You look like a fish," she told the celestial mage cheerfully. This, finally, allowed Lucy to find her voice.

"WHY ARE YOU THREE HERE?!"

Jellal flinched, Meredy looked taken aback, while Ultear remained unmoved by Lucy's childish screech. "We were passing through," Jellal explained hesitatingly, "we had some Intel for the Magic Games to pass onto your Master and then spotted some of the Magic Council guards."

"For once they weren't after us but we didn't want to take the risk," Ultear smirked, "does your dragon slayer always destroy buildings?"

"It an unfortunate habit I have yet to condition him out of," Lucy sighed, "And he's not my dragon slayer!" she added furiously.

"A little late there, Lucy," Meredy grinned, "just like how Jellal says Erza isn't his fairy queen!"

"Ara!" Ultear cooed in a similar manner to Mira, it was quite creepy. "We all know how that is untrue!"

Lucy felt her soul leave her body as two women she barely knew sat there and dissected not only her non-existent love life with Natsu but her friend's non-existent (though honestly more of a life than hers) love life with the blue haired man sitting beside her….who had once tried to kill her and all of her friends. God if she knew her life was going to be this weird she might have given it more thought about joining Fairy Tail…

"I feel your pain," Jellal said sympathetically, "they're very cruel in their teasing."

"How did you guys get in here anyway?" Lucy asked curiously.

Recently she had taken to not only double locking her front door but warding it while keep her window firmly locked, and her fireplace well lit. It had kept some people out but Natsu was immune to fire and he had taken to sneaking in through the chimney. Which she hated because it meant she had to clean up after his ash trodden footsteps and wash her sheets daily.

"Gray told us that you never lock the bathroom window," Jellal informed her, "it was merely a matter of getting Meredy in so she could let us in through the front door."

Seriously, Lucy needed to kill Gray. If only she could find a way that won't end with her being murdered by Juvia….

Laxus and the Thunder God tribe:

Lucy once again woken up to find invaders in her house. Only this time it was four of them and a handful of evil wooden dolls. Laxus seemed to be asleep on her beanie bag, Freed was reading her work, Bickslow was playing with his 'babies', and Evergreen was going through her wardrobe.

"You know," Freed said, as he was the first one to see she was awake, "you made an awful lot of grammar mistakes here. Are you sure writing is the career path for you?"

It was a miracle that the Thunder God Tribe managed to escape the building with their lives intact. After Freed's heartless comment ("It wasn't heartless!" the rune mage protested. "It was constructive criticism!") Lucy had exploded into sheer rage, violently attacked them all, and managed to shove Laxus out of the window before turning her ire back onto to Bickslow (who was not ashamed to admit he felt like crying at this point).

"Okay," Laxus said once he caught his breath, and they were all far, far, away from Lucy, "I think we can all agree now that we have been unfair in our treatment to Bickslow."

"Finally!" Bickslow bellowed.

"Finally, finally, finally!" his 'babies' trilled behind him.

"I agree," Freed said as he pushed his hair back, "in fact I think it's a miracle that you managed to live through your first encounter with her."

"So am I," Evergreen gasped, "so we're all agreed? No more teasing Bickslow for losing to Lucy?"

"Aye!"