"Harry," Ruth announced, walking into his office.
"If you don't start knocking, I'm going to have to have you fitted with a cowbell," he answered facetiously.
She resisted the urge to roll her eyes. If she did start knocking before coming into his office, he'd probably wonder what he'd done to upset her and break their trust.
Anyway, it didn't matter now. He was standing by his drinks cabinet and thankfully just drinking water. It was late in the day, after a horrific day full of drama and missteps. Ruth had gone into QMK and put perfume in her eyes to get past a security guard, then she'd been taken by the CIA with Jiang where she'd gotten disheveled by a bunch of flashbangs in an underground car park and Jiang was taken by the Chinese. Beth had discovered that Kai was not a triple agent but instead fed false information to be used by the Chinese. Lucas and Beth had rescued Kai and Jiang both after Dimitri successfully disabled a bomb in the back of a lorry. And now, finally, Beth was taking care of Kai while Ruth had just left Jiang after telling her how sorry they were that they had to hand her over to the Americans.
And it just wasn't fair. None of it.
"Everything alright?" Harry asked, seeing the look of concern etched across her face. She was better now than she used to be, but she knew she was cursed with expressive features.
"The CIA are picking up Jiang," she told him, "But Beth asked to take Kai to them personally."
Harry sat down as she spoke, listening respectfully. His emotions had run high earlier, but he was in control now. His usual self. She appreciated that.
"I hate the way we're just handing them over," Ruth continued. "Like they're just things to be exchanged and moved around.
"Well, we're all being moved around by someone, Ruth," Harry responded, wise but cynical. "But I agree with you," he added. "Kai deserves better."
"I wish there was something we could do," she said. She stared at him intently, knowing he'd understand her meaning. He always did.
Harry picked up his phone and dialed Beth. She answered, and he told her, "If there is anywhere Mr. Kai would like to 'stop off' on the way, do make sure he gets there safely." His emphasis was meaningful, and Beth surely understood.
He hung up and turned back to Ruth, giving her a small nod. Ruth returned with a bare hint of a smile. Enough to thank him for his decency. Well, that was Harry's way, wasn't it? He was a good, decent man, in spite of the horrors they faced. That's what made him so remarkable, what made him a man Ruth could love, the only man Ruth wanted to spend her life with now.
"I've got some things to finish up, but can we go to yours tonight? I have a feeling Beth will want to be on her own tonight after all this, and I desperately need a hot bath and some quiet," she said.
Harry gave a nod. "My bathtub is nicer than yours."
She couldn't help a smirk. "That's why I suggested it."
"I'll be ready whenever you want to go," he told her.
Ruth gave him a final nod and went back to her station. She had been away from her computer for too long. There were surely emails and reports that she needed to review, things that needed her attention.
Sure enough, the inter-office news of Five was swirling. As a senior analyst, Ruth was on a list of persons who received any and all reports that weren't otherwise classified to particular teams. She had unfettered security access, of course, if she ever needed to look into anything, but most lower-level information was sent directly to her. One report in particular caught her eye, and she sent it to the printer to review on paper and pass around.
As she returned from the printer, she saw Harry walk out of his office. "Tariq, any news from the Border Agency?" he asked. He was tying up loose ends, which was always good for the end of a day and an operation like this.
"Three known aliases of the CSS snatch team left the country an hour ago," the younger man informed them. "They've gone."
Ruth approached with her report, adding to the news for the group. "Does anyone know Stephen Owen? G Section? He's been arrested." She handed the page to Harry for his review. "He crashed the mainframe and diverted twenty-four thousand pounds from one of our slush funds into his personal bank account."
"That's not possible, is it?" Lucas responded. His eyes remained on his computer screen. Wasn't that interesting?
"Well, his user ID and password were logged at the time of the crash," Ruth told him. She was watching him closely now, handing him the page when Harry was done with it. Lucas took the report and looked at it. He never did meet Ruth's eyes. "He's only twenty-two," she added, gauging his reaction. "He'll serve time for that."
Lucas gave a small shrug, passing the report back. "Traitor's a traitor," he said, looking back at her at last.
Ruth walked away, trying to keep her thoughts to herself. Her suspicions were unfounded and largely unformed. But things were starting to pile up. The report stating he was on the Tube when that line had been closed down, the way she kept seeing him down in the registry, the number of times Harry had wondered where Lucas was, the way Lucas seemed more ill at ease than usual. There was something there. Something she couldn't put a finger on yet. But it was something.
"Ready?"
She jumped slightly at the sound of Harry's voice out of nowhere. "Five minutes," she answered. "Just a couple more emails here."
"I'll get my coat. Don't get distracted. I want to get you home," he said gently.
Ruth smiled to herself. He was such a sweet man, and getting to really experience the way he cared for her was nothing short of miraculous sometimes. Some days it was comforting and comfortable, knowing that he loved her so. She could look down at her beautiful engagement ring and be confident in it. But some days, it all still took her by surprise. Ruth never wanted to take his love for granted and hoped she never would.
She raced through her last tasks and was ready by the time Harry returned. He helped her put her coat on and she grabbed her purse.
"I'll be glad to get out of this shirt. I only keep it here for times like this when I need something to wear. I liked that cardigan, and I'm sorry it's ruined," she lamented as they made their way out of the pods.
Harry placed a hand on the small of her back, leading her through. "We can run the wash tonight so you can put that shirt back in its place in case of emergencies. And you've got things in the closet for tomorrow, don't you?" he asked, quite considerately.
Ruth marveled at his domesticity, still delighted by such things in him. They'd do the wash at his house, he made sure she had a few things at his house for her convenience and they could go right to work the next day whenever she stayed over. The same was not true at her flat, however; Harry had a toothbrush and a pair of trunks and a tshirt he could sleep in, but he did not keep any suits in her closet simply because there wasn't space. Whenever he stayed over at hers, he would have to go home to get dressed, and he met her at Thames House later.
They were quiet in the car as Harry's driver took them to his house. Ruth was exhausted after the day they'd had, and her mind was thankfully empty as she watched London whiz by through the windows. Harry held her hand in the backseat of the car, and she appreciated the calm peace that fell over her.
Before she knew it, they were at his house, and Harry went up to run the bath for her while she sorted out her clothes in his closet to ensure she had everything she needed. The tap shut off, and Harry appeared in the doorway.
"Would you mind if I joined you?" he asked.
She turned to him in surprise. "Oh!" Having him join her in the bath wasn't something that she'd thought about. They'd showered together before, but the bath was different. Ruth smiled. "That would be very nice, I think."
Harry reached out for her, and she let him hold her hand. They undressed each other unhurriedly. Their actions were loving and sensual without the fire of arousal burning between them. They were both tired after their day, and Ruth wasn't sure whether or not they'd have sex tonight, but regardless, it was lovely to just be together with this intimacy they'd developed over the course of their engagement.
After a bit of maneuvering, Harry got into the bath and Ruth got in after him, and she settled herself between his legs, resting against his back. He wrapped his arms around her middle and hummed happily. With a happy sigh of her own, Ruth let her head fall back against his shoulder and smiled when he pressed a gentle kiss to the side of her neck.
Ruth closed her eyes and allowed the beautiful comfort of the warm, bubbly water and Harry's embrace to wash over her body. It was bliss of the simplest sort, but it was hard-won with Harry. And after today especially.
But much to Ruth's dismay, her mind started spinning again. She thought back on their day, on what she'd done, on what the implications were. She recalled the conversations she'd had with Jiang, a woman with whom Ruth knew she shared a number of similar characteristics: brilliant, quiet, eager to be useful, resigned to those ways in which she was used, holding onto small bits of happiness to carry her through all the rest. They both did their duty, Jiang and Ruth, but was any of it worth the cost?
Do you have children? Jiang had asked. Ruth had hated herself for the way her stomach fell at the question. She'd had a child, for a time. She had loved a little boy who had not come from her body but who was her child all the same for that beautiful year. She had loved Nico and lost him. She had been the cause of him becoming an orphan. She had destroyed that child's life by being a part of it. Because everything Ruth loved ended up destroyed. It was only a matter of time before that destruction came for Harry, too.
Oh she wanted to believe that he was better equipped than mere civilians, that he would not suffer as an ordinary man might, that he was a part of their world of shadows and therefore could survive it alongside her. But today showed that maybe her instincts were right. Maybe everyone that Ruth loved, everyone that loved her, was doomed to fall victim to the terrible circumstances in which they found themselves. Harry had panicked today, when she'd been in danger. He'd shouted her name through comms which she knew he'd never do if it were any other officer. Everything that made him the very best officer MI-5 had ever seen, all of it was jeopardized because he loved her. Could she really condemn him to that? Could she really carry on like this, stealing what little happiness they could muster, if it meant that it would all come crashing down? Was what they had here and now, wrapped up together in the bath, worth the cost of what had already befallen them and what would surely come to them before long?
Ruth did not like the dark turn of her thoughts, though she could not really be surprised she'd taken that direction. But she tried to steer herself away from it.
"Do you think Lucas is doing alright?" she asked, breaking the comfortable silence between them.
"Hmm?" Harry responded. He must have been half-asleep already before she interrupted. "I've not noticed him not be," he said after blinking back to the present.
She sighed. "I can't help but think there might be something going on."
Harry's arms tightened their embrace. "You don't need to worry about Lucas, Ruth. He's been through more than any of us care to think about, and he's more than earned my trust as Section Chief." He nuzzled against her neck, kissing her more ardently.
Ruth did not quite agree with Harry's blind trust in Lucas, not given the things she'd noticed, but she could tell that he was not receptive to such things now. And oh, his teeth grazed her earlobe and all rational thought fell away.
"Ruth, my darling Ruth," he murmured. "I don't think I shall ever let you out of my arms again."
She turned her head to capture his lips, hoping to stop him talking. She didn't like when he said things like that. His worry today was warranted and to be expected, she knew, but it worried her that he would then cling to her this way. She would be in the field sometimes, and there was danger associated with it. They both had to be able to carry on with their jobs, regardless of their personal concerns.
But that, like everything else, could be pushed aside for now. Harry's tongue slipped into her mouth, and Ruth twisted herself around to straddle him in the bath. Water sloshed all over the place, but neither of them cared as she rolled her hips atop him and fell into the pleasure oblivion.