"Are you busy today?"
Ruth paused on the phone. "I'm rostered off. You know that," she said.
"I know, but you might have made plans or have things you're doing," Harry pointed out in return. He was on his landline at home, pacing like a panther in his front room, desperate for Ruth to say she wasn't busy, desperate to have her join him today. He needed her all the time for most things, but today he was, well, desperate.
"I was going to do some laundry but it can wait if you've got something better to offer. So long as it isn't work," she answered.
"Can I come pick you up? I want to go for a drive, and I'd like your company."
"Oh!" she exclaimed in surprise. Which stood to reason, since this was quite an out of the blue request and unlike Harry. "Where are we driving?" she asked.
"Anywhere. Doesn't matter. Just out of the city."
"I think you'd better come pick me up and explain what's going on once I'm in the car with you," Ruth reasoned.
"See you in ten."
Harry hung up the phone without waiting for her response. He went upstairs to put on his shoes. He wasn't really one of those people who took his shoes off in the house, but it was warm out and after he took his shower this morning, he'd just not bothered to put any shoes on.
He sighed, trying to calm himself down. The adrenaline of frustration buzzed through him. Talking to Ruth had certainly helped. She was a balm on his soul. But it did not change the fact that he was annoyed about the state of affairs at the moment.
But soon enough he pulled up in front of Ruth's building. He'd intended to park somewhere and walk up to greet her, but she was waiting out front on the sidewalk, so he pulled over so she could get in.
"Hi," she said, leaning across the car to kiss him hello. "You sounded odd over the phone. Thought it best not to waste your time."
"That's very considerate of you," he answered. "And I suppose I'm feeling a bit odd."
"Hence the sudden desire for a long drive," she deduced.
He hummed in confirmation. She let it lie for the time being, allowing him to get back onto the main road and make his way through traffic and eventually onto the M3.
"Care to explain, now that we're well into the drive?" Ruth ventured.
"I've been assisting Towers on a clandestine project," Harry told her.
She frowned. "Are you allowed to tell me this?"
"Yes, I just haven't as of yet. I had hoped to brief everyone at once. Or rather, tell you, and then have you brief everyone."
That made Ruth smirk, which Harry noticed out of the corner of his eye. He didn't like explaining things to people, so he almost always had Ruth, Lucas, and Tariq do the briefing to the team. One of the prerogatives of being Section Head meant that he gave instructions and orders, not explanations.
"But after weeks of going back and forth with the Israelis, Towers has informed me that everything's broken down," Harry continued.
"The Israelis? What sort of project is this?"
Harry hesitated slightly, not quite knowing where to start. "It was the President's idea, if you can believe."
"The President of the United States? He's no great friend of the Israelis."
"America is always a friend of Israel. As are we. But you're right, this President is more sympathetic to the Palestinians than anyone before."
"So that's it, is it?" Ruth asked. "A peace summit between the Israelis and the Palestinians through the President of the United States?"
"That was the idea, yes," Harry confirmed. "But it seems now it won't come to pass. Not that I really had any realistic hope, of course. It would have been good, though, with these particular people."
"Levi Cohen?" she guessed.
Harry chuckled, "I shouldn't be surprised anymore that you know bloody everything."
"Well, there are only a handful of Israelis you have personal connections with, and even fewer who would be candidates to be involved with something like this."
"True," he agreed. "Levi is one of the best there's ever been. I admire him, which is saying a lot of a politician, and I like him, which says even more."
Ruth put her hand on his where it rested on the gearshift. "I should like to meet him someday, if there's ever an opportunity."
Harry couldn't help but smile at the thought. "There will come a time—soon, I hope—when I can introduce you to everyone I know and say, 'This is my wife, Ruth.' And when that day comes, I shall be the happiest of men."
She gave his hand an affectionate squeeze. "So is this what's been bothering you? The failed peace talks?"
"Yes. I suppose I'm just getting too old for all of this. I know better than to expect much, but I somehow have less tolerance for this petty back and forth."
"There's still hope in you yet," she teased.
"I'm not so sure most days," he admitted. And it was true. He was so bloody tired of it all, more often than not. The faith and duty that kept him on the wall all these years was waning. He still felt, as he'd told Ruth amidst his attempt to resign, that the work he did was negligible. But he also had to recognize that she was right, too, when she said that he was the person who needed to make the difficult decisions. He was somewhat uniquely suited for it. But as he got older, as his tolerance for pettiness waned and his hope felt dashed on the rocks one time too many, his urge to sod it all and disappear into a quiet life in the country became stronger and stronger. Perhaps that's what prompted his desperation today, to drive down the highway as far as he could with Ruth by his side.
"Harry," Ruth said gently.
"Hmm?" He spared a glance from the road to see her watching him intently.
"Harry, what's all this about, really?"
He considered his words carefully. "Sometimes it's just hard to go on," he eventually said. That was it, really. It was all just hard to stomach. Hard to push through. Hard to put to the side in order to sleep at night.
"But we must go on," Ruth reminded him. "That's why we're here, you and me. We're here to do this job. We just got lucky enough that we can do it together. We do this so that other people can have a nice, normal, safe life."
"And there's nothing nice and normal and safe for us?"
"Not usually, no," she answered with a sad smile. "But look at us now," Ruth reminded him. "Six months ago, did you think we'd get to take a drive together on a Saturday afternoon and hold hands?"
The stone that had weighed down Harry's heart all day suddenly felt lighter. "Thank god for that," he said. "Thank god for you." Harry took Ruth's hand and brought it up to his lips.
Ruth smiled. "Let's put on some music and you just drive and forget about everything else, and if you see a sign that looks interesting, turn off, and we can find a pub and have a drink and some food and wander around some town where no one knows us and we can have a snog in an alleyway or something."
It was truly incredible how she managed it, cheering him up and inspiring him and turning the darkness into a beautiful rainbow. Well, perhaps that was a bit too poetic a turn to it, but oh, what did it matter? The sky was blue and the sun was bright, and he had Ruth here with him. She was right, of course, that six months ago he would have never dreamed they could be like this.
A thought popped into Harry's head, and before he could think the better of it, he spoke it out loud.
"Let's find a registry office and get married."