Summary: Mirajane finally gets her revenge for Elfman's and Evergreen's lie during the S-Class exam.
Pairings: Elfman/Evergreen, a little implied Mira/Laxus, Evergreen/Freed/Bickslow/Laxus friendship, brief mention of Alzack/Bisca, sisterly Mira/Elfman, sisterly Mira/Evergreen, and some sisterly Lisanna/Elfman.
YouTube Prompt: Any love triangle you wish to 'Rumour Has It' by Adele. Something cheerful and fun for our favourite anime.
It started when everyone had settled down for drinks and a proper catch up after finally returning home for seven long years. Bisca and Alzack had been in the middle of recounting their own wedding (and showing pictures) when Mirajane suddenly blurted out;
"Elfman and Evergreen are getting married!"
The reaction had been instantaneous. Freed, Bickslow, and Laxus, all choked on their drinks and demanded to know why they hadn't been told about Elfman and Evergreen dating, several people passed out or seemed to have died out of shock, a couple (namely Gray and Natsu) burst out in hysterical laughter thinking it was a joke, while the rest mumbled, a very confused and wary, congratulations to the pair.
"This is exactly what we need!" Master declared between floods of tears. "Two of my brats getting married. I feel so old now!"
"Ooh, I love weddings!" Lucy cooed. "Have you set a date yet? And a place? And do you have any idea what sort of theme you want?"
"You should ignore Lucy," Happy said sagely, "she's overexcited because she knows that she's never having one."
"What was that you shitty little cat?!"
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Happy screamed as he flew as fast as he could to the other side of the room. Lucy chased after him, her whip at the ready. "NATSU HELP! LUCY IS GOING TO EAT ME!"
"Honestly," Charle muttered as she rolled her eyes.
"You should pick a very good cake," Erza said solemnly, "a really big cake, with lots of frosting, and strawberries….in fact, let me pick your cake out for you. I will do my best and give my life to protect it."
Several people sweat-dropped at that.
Elfman and Evergreen exchanged panicked looks to one another. Crap! They thought in unison, what the hell are we going to do?!
We? Evergreen thought sneeringly, she's your sister!
It was your lie! Elfman's eyes seemed to scream back at her.
"Awwwwwwwww, would you look at that?" Bickslow cooed. "They're already doing that couple's telepathy thing. So cute!"
"So cute! So cute! So cute!"
"I know," Freed wiped a fake tear away, "our little Ever all grown up and a bride. I can hardly believe it."
"Neither can I," Laxus grinned, "I never thought there would be a man willing to saddle himself with that harpy."
"WHAT WAS THAT?!"
Everyone sweat-dropped again as Evergreen managed to punch all three of her male friends into the wall. Err…why did Elfman want to marry her again?
FTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFT
Elfman and Evergreen agreed that Elfman will confess the truth to his sister as soon as he can in private. Of course, he complained and whined about it, but Evergreen pointed out that he was Mirajane's little brother and therefore not in danger of being beaten to death like Evergreen was. It had been two weeks now, and Evergreen quickly learnt that Elfman did not do what he was supposed to do (coward!) when Mirajane suddenly kidnapped Evergreen from her room and dragged her to a wedding dress shop!
Oh God!
Evergreen found herself sitting on a horrible, pink, poufy, stool while Mira was rummaging through the racks and pulling out one hideous dress after another. "Ooh how about this dress?" Mira asked excitedly as she held up a particularly nasty, frilly, taffeta dress. Evergreen didn't even have to say anything, a blind person could see the look of disgust she shot the dress. "Okay, maybe not," Mira sweat-dropped slightly, "how about this one?"
She held up a nice, simple, silk gown. No underskirts, no wide skirts that would make Evergreen look like a meringue, just a nice simple, ivory, dress. "It looks nice," Evergreen said coldly.
"Try it on! Try it on!"
And the next thing Evergreen knew, she was being herded into the changing rooms, and had the door slammed into her face. She wasn't abandoned or anything though, Mirajane decided to babble to her excitedly about the wedding through the door.
"…I did consider green but pink suits the bridesmaids better," she finished as Evergreen finally tuned back in after yanking her clothes off.
"Bridesmaids?" she questioned.
She didn't know she had bridesmaids. She didn't remember asking anyone, and not just because the whole wedding was a lie, but also because she didn't have female friends. None of the girls liked her at the guild. And she was never good at making friends outside of Fairy Tail. The closest she had to a female best friend was Freed.
Oh great! Now she couldn't shake the mental image of Freed in a dress out of her head.
"Me and Lisanna, of course!" Mirajane replied cheerfully. Evergreen froze and Mira instantly read her silence. "Unless…" she said sadly, "you don't want me and Lisanna to be your bridesmaids."
Crap! Evergreen could feel the sad puppy dog look on Mirajane's face, and the big crocodile tears that must be pooling at the corner of her big blue eyes….Goddamnit. No wonder Laxus was never able to say no to her in the past!
"Of course I want you two to be my bridesmaids," Evergreen lied.
"Excellent!" Mira clapped her hands. "Now then! I've managed to convince Erza not to buy a strawberry cake, after all she's the only one that likes strawberries. I think Jet is allergic to them as well. She's so selfish like that. Anyway, we managed to find a gorgeous vanilla icing one with fairy decorations – ooh speaking of which! I'm using fairy lights as part of the decorations. Now about the food, I've contacted a caterer…"
If she ever got hold of Elfman she was going to kill him. Literally kill him. She will throttle him with her bare hands. And then bring him back so she could bludgeon him to death, and then bring him back again and make him endure this torture instead of her, while that annoying blue cat of Natsu's would take pictures and make him die of shame. And then finally, finally, she'll let Bickslow turn his soul into one of his dolls, so the bastard could never rest in peace!
Finally dressed in the dress Mirajane picked out, Evergreen exited the changing rooms to be welcomed by an awe-struck Mira.
"Oh!" Mirajane gasped. "Evergreen, you look so beautiful!"
Evergreen couldn't help but blush at that. After all, Mira was a model, she would know beauty when she sees it. "Really?" she asked anxiously.
"Of course!" Mira clasped Evergreen's hands to her chest. "I'm so glad you're going to be my sister."
Evergreen flinched at that as guilt ate away at her very soul. Yes, she was definitely going to kill Elfman.
FTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFT
It was the day of the wedding and they still haven't told anyone that it was all a big, fat, stupid, lie.
In all fairness they couldn't. Each time they brought it up, everyone got excited, drunk, and carried planning their wedding without them. Evergreen is not kidding, they did nothing but turn up to the dress fittings, and their bachelor/bachelorette parties. It was as Freed was preparing to give her away that Evergreen sighed, and gave in, obviously she was going to spend the rest of her life with Elfman.
It could be worse, she supposes, after all at least he was her age, kind, understands that she was more than capable of taking care of herself, and looked rather nice if she said so herself. But still….she wanted to have the chance to fall in love with him – err her groom, before she got married to them. It was nothing against Elfman.
Well, okay, just a little bit. But only because he had no guts to tell his sister that he lied.
So the music played, she was walked down the aisle, everyone was crying, especially the Master who was officiating the wedding, and Elfman stood there, looking highly uncomfortable in his tux (though gorgeous – Damnit!) and very shifty. He kept fidgeting and scratching the back of his neck as Master went through all the flowery and incredibly unnecessary parts of the wedding service. Like greeting the crowd.
"Do you-"
"I CAN'T DO THIS!" Elfman suddenly bellowed, making everyone jump out of their skin. IT'S ALL A SHAM! WE'RE NOT GETTING MARRIED. IT WAS ALL A LIE. A DREADFUL, HORRIBLE, LIE! SO UNMANLY!"
"Hey, I know Ever is bad" Bickslow said lightly, "but she isn't that bad."
"Wait," Mira blinked "what are you saying, Elfman?"
"Is Ever not good enough for you?" Freed demanded to know.
"What do you mean it's a lie, Elfman-nii-chan?" Lisanna asked disappointedly.
"It was for the S-class exams!" Elfman confessed to his precious baby sister. "I was up against Nee-Chan, and we were losing badly, to give me an opening, to distract Nee-Chan, Ever lied about us getting married…I'M SORRY NEE-CHAN BUT I HAD TO!" Elfman wailed, far too loudly.
"I know," Mirajane smiled sweetly, "it was a terrible lie. I knew it the moment I had time to think about it."
"What?!" Evergreen squeaked.
"Then….why?"
"Revenge," Mirajane smirked, and Evergreen and Elfman both shuddered as a dark, evil, demonic, aura was beginning to leak out from the pink, frilly-dressed, bridesmaid. "You have just confessed to having wasted everyone's time, money, and good will. I do hope you enjoy angry mobs Elfman, Evergreen…."
It was then when Elfman and Evergreen became aware of the angry glares they were receiving from everyone in the guild. Freed and Lisanna looked more hurt than anything else (which just made Elfman burst into tears, the big baby!) but everyone else looked terrifyingly angry.
"How could you?!" The Master growled. "Do you know how many hopes you have crushed? People's happiness for you?"
"I brought a very expensive thing for you!" Natsu bellowed. "And now it's wasted."
"It's a food processor," Lucy rolled her eyes, one of the least cross members of the guild, "and you didn't buy it, Natsu, I did!"
"I can't believe this!"
"Waste of my time!"
"How annoying."
"Will we still be able to drink all the booze?"
"YOU!" Erza bellowed as she transformed into her Black Purgatory armour. "You dare besmirch the sanctuary of marriage with your lies?!"
Elfman and Evergreen clutched one another and screamed as Erza summoned a hundred thousand swords and aimed them at the lying couple.
"RUN!"
The citizens of Magnolia were very confused at the sight of a bride and groom running while being chased by an angry mob that consisted of Fairy Tail members….and then they shrugged it off as one of those weird days, and did absolutely nothing to help the couple.
And the moral of the story? Never lie to Mirajane about anything to do with romance. She takes that part of her match-making role very seriously.
And she will always get her revenge.