Never Too Late
This world will never be what I expected. And if I don't belong, who would have guessed it? I will not leave alone everything that I own to make you feel like it's not too late. It's never too late...
There's only so much one living creature can handle in a life time. I might have just made it to my limits. I always try to tell myself that everything I'm doing is with all honesty; the best I can do. Yet, no matter how hard I force myself to believe this thought, l can't help but sink into a vortex of agony.
I just can't do it. I can't keep up with it. I can't keep up with her. She's been so much to me. Not once have I cared about something so much like I do for her.
I remember it. All of it. Our escape from switchback cove. The encounter with the sirens, which I still haven't told her. Maybe someday.
But right now, things aren't looking its brightest. I could do so much better. She could do so much better. It could be so much better. But it isn't.
It will be. I can feel it. I just need to give it time. It'll all work out in the end. I just need to take things slowly and carefully. Every step at a time.
If I were to just suck it up and admit my feelings to her.
Nope, instead life has this very magical thing that stands in the way from allowing any of that from happening. You know what it's called?
Denial.
She most likely doesn't feel the same way for me. She never will.
God, I'm so negative! Why do I think like this?! It's too overwhelming! I'm so maniacal! She leaves me no hope! No life! Nothing worth living for! I've taken it! I can't take anymore! I have to suck it up! Somehow!
I have to tell her, or at least let her figure it out in some way or another.
I want her. I want her as mine. I've kept that promise to myself since I said those first four words to her.
"I don't fight girls."
God, that's a hell of an amount of irony. What did I practically do with her after that?
I fought with her. I was acting like such a cub to her! Always thinking that I had to win the argument. As if my life depended on it.
Yet, she'd always win. Every time. In a way, I kind of enjoyed it. Whenever she knew that she had won the argument, whatever the hell it was about, she'd always look so intimidating. The way she'd so casually smirk at me just made me smile. Anything that showed her interest in me was well worth the loss.
But what the hell am I getting at? She has no interest in me. It's not like I absolutely need someone to love and be with every night. I've been as happy as ever for nearly ten years without a female saber around. Why would this matter make it any better? Or worse?
It's been an entirely new experience for me. I'm just not sure how else I can see it or explain it. I'm trying so hard to believe that all of this is for the better. She could make my life far greater than I could ever imagine it to be.
And yet, the opposite could happen.
What if she just completely freaks out if I were to tell her how much I love her? Then what? I'm not sure what to do anymore. I guess there's nothing else to say.
We've got nothing.
All of this came up in my mind as I settled myself atop the seemingly unnatural and rather ginormous rock formation that emerged itself from the white sandy shore lines and position itself out into the shredded waves of the sea.
Coming up here every morning before anyone else gets up is just paradise for me. I always feel open minded when I'm out here watching the waves attempt to climb their way up the edge of the rocky cliff terrain. It's as if they were reaching out to me. Wanting something. Needing something.
I can relate.
I feel so open minded to the point where I feel like I could admit anything to anyone. Maybe if she was up here with me. If only. It could be my only chance.
"That's it." I told myself. It's always nice talking to myself. It's what I always do up here. That's the reason I drag myself on to this cliff rising above the ocean.
She always loved the ocean. It's where she spent most of her life with.
Someday, if all of this straightens out, I'll take her out to seas again. Just for fun. I'm sure she'd love it. Just me and her.
Still, I can't help but wonder about what she said back at switchback cove when we held her prisoner. It was just like a big game we were playing back there.
She told me that she left her herd. She traded it. What's that whole backstory about?
I'd like to find out sometime. Hopefully soon.
She's changed things forever. The way I am. My whole personality is destroyed. It's all because of her.
"You're pretty soft for a saber."
It wasn't always that way. That I'm sure of. It was all her doing that made me this way. I'll have no say in that what so ever. My whole pride and dignity was washed away.
And yet, who said that was a bad thing? She opened me up on the inside. She's shown me places that I had no idea existed inside of me. All in one day. And she has no idea either.
"Or does she?"
Who knows. The fact that she always seems like she's always hiding something from me makes me gullible as hell. Is she keeping something from me? Is she hiding something? If so, then from who? Or does it even matter?
I laid my head down, having my eyes get drowned in fantasy from the waves closing into shore. I could have sworn out of obsession that I saw those eyes. Her eyes. In the ocean, staring back at me.
I blinked a few times and realized that I was just seeing things. I sighed and got up, turned around and started taking a few steps back.
I'll never turn back again. From this point on I am moving on. I need to tell her. I need to.
I began working my way down the continental sized boulder, working my muscles to stay balanced down the almost ninety degrees slope near the back side. Getting down from it wasn't as hard as getting up. I guess the main reason I go here is because of all the teasing, taunting and practically any other bullshit that I had to take in everyday. The whole herd won't let me hear the end of it! It's driving me nuts, crazy, insane! Whatever you want to call it!
Yet, she was nothing but amused by it. She probably sees me as just some regular saber that she can get a kick out of every now and then.
So that's what this is then? We're just friends? Hell, we might not even be friends for all I know. Yes, I'm the one who brought her into the herd, but our relation with each other just sort of rewinded itself and put us back where we started.
At least that's what I feel like. I wonder how she feels. She probably never thinks about these sort of things. For all I know, she probably doesn't remember my name.
Finally, I drop down off the boulder and onto the island's shore lines. It felt so good once I was able to relax my muscles at last.
Panting lightly with my head down, and wiping a few drops of sweat off of my forehead, I start to pad my way back towards the central pillar. It's basically another one of those seemingly unnaturally made rock formations. It stuck out of the ground and rose above even the tallest trees. It was, as you would've guessed, nearly in the center of the island. It was our main gathering spot for the whole herd, and I expected for her to be there. If not, there's one other place I have in mind.
Arriving at the central pillar, some of the herd members greeted me with good morning. I showed little acknowledgement because it was just a part of my personality as well as my mind wandering off elsewhere. I could think of nothing but her. She meant everything to me.
Looking up at the pillar, causing my eyes to squint due to the suns ungodly rays of light beaming down on the island, I noticed the unlit flame at the top. We managed to place a small fire at the very top of the pillar. Don't ask me how we managed to get it up there. Let's just say that my neck started hurting the next day, alright?
Basically what it's for is to act as a beacon point or guide post during the night. We've had a few incidents where a herd member would get lost during the day, and instead of me having to always track them down and lead them back, this giant rock pillar does that for me. It can be seen from almost anywhere on the island. You'd have to purposely get lost to not be able to see it. But I guess it also attracts enemies. That's what I'm worried about. Then again, I guess that's what my job is. To protect the herd, as is everyone's job.
Overall, it makes things a hell of a lot easier for me. As I walked by the biggest wonder of the world, gazing up at it's peak, I couldn't help but appreciate it's structure. It must have been at least a thousand years old, and still standing.
I guess some things are just built to last.
I walked onwards, heading to where I've been thinking of all morning.
I entered the small caved in hole as I did everyday. Just to see her. I took in the scent of her beautiful pelt. Nothing made me happier. if only I could wake up to it everyday.
I was thinking and going over what I was going to say to her, and how I'd get her to come with me somewhere. Somehow convince her into doing it.
She's not here.
I looked around, double checking to see if she was just up against the wall or something.
"What could she be doing?" I said to myself, looking back to make sure that no one was eavesdropping on me. I've been caught doing it more times than I could remember. Everyone thinks I'm crazy for that trait. Or habit. Why would they understand? None of them have ever had a past like mine.
That's a different story that's meant to be told at a different time.
I step out of the cave, trying my best to look unnoticed with the rest of the herd.
Since the whole herd got to the point where we could actually call it a herd, I've been treated like a god damn celebrity or something. It's all because I was one of the original members that started the whole thing. It's no big deal. It's not like we're the only herd in existence. Yet, that's how they see it.
Pitiful.
Walking further away from the crowd, I face my mind back in its original state.
"Where is she?"
There was one other place I had in mind, and I'm positive that she was there right now.
I need you. I need you so much. It's killing me on the inside. Please.
I began to form tears in my eyes. Thank god I was out of sight from everyone. Way for a saber to be crying. Yet, I did it all the time. I'm so different.
And I love it.
But what would I love even more? The answer is right there. Isn't it obvious?
"I need you, Shira.
(POV Switch)
It's always nice when some days turn out the way you want them to. This morning I woke up to the still unfamiliar cave that I slept in. I've always been use to laying on frozen ice back with the pirates and everything. I'm trying my best to just forget about all of that waste of my life. Yet, no matter how hard I try, the memories of that hell keeps slipping back into my mind. I was so miserable. I never realized it until he showed up, took me away, and gave me a reason to live. Anyone who asked me about him knew exactly who he was.
He's shown me a lot of places that I never knew existed. I couldn't be more thankful for that. Maybe it's time that I show him some places that I'm sure he never knew existed as well.
He seems so caring about me. I remember the first time he showed that side of him.
"Water. You're gonna need it."
It was only then that I still didn't open up to him even though he was willing to open up to me.
I was so stubborn, and apparently by the looks of things, I still am.
I could only imagine what was going on through his mind at the time, and it gets me to really wonder about both of our feelings towards each other. Is it not that obvious? Our new home, as far as everyone knows, doesn't populate with sabers what so ever. What's the chances of another saber showing up? It's only me and him. You putting the pieces together? What's bound to happen?
Yet, would I regret it? Would I regret it if I were to become his... his...
...mate?
Just thinking about it brought a shudder from my shoulders down to my legs. It's not him directly that makes this thought so weird. It's actually me.
I've never built up the self esteem to actually ask him or bring up the topic. In no way would I be able to do it. The biggest worry is, could I rely on him to ask me? Would he be willing to?
I don't know. I don't know anything anymore. Is that really what this is? We're both too shy?
What am I thinking?! I don't even know if he feels the way I think he does!
But the truth is, he does. I know it, and he knows that I know it. It's all too obvious.
God, I love him. I love him so much.
He needs to feel the same way. My life would be shattered without him.
Every hour of everyday, these same feelings get into my head, and I can only make sense of so many of them.
All of these thoughts that I can't get out of my head, I've tried to live without it, but every time I do, I feel dead.
I know what's best for me, but instead I'll just keep wasting all of my time.
Over and over.
Sitting unusually close to the shorelines along one of the most stretched out capes on the island, my mind kept thinking back to the ocean. My home. It always will be my home.
But I have to move on.
Still, it is nice get my alone time. I nearly went insane back with the pirates when there wasn't any room to have personal space, that of which I adored so much to have. Now, after years of waiting, here I am.
So why am I not happy? Well, I am happy, but I'm not sure if I'm completely satisfied. Is all of this scarce? Is any of it? Is this all I really need?
I feel like I'm missing something. A gaping hole that needs to be sealed tightly.
It's almost as if I need to be somewhere. Out at sea again? Perhaps.
Maybe with someone. Someone special. Someone important to me. But who?
In my mind, the answer was obvious.
But still, would he be up to it? And how the hell would we get out to sea? I mean, just for memories, I'd like to go. Not forever. Just for a little bit. Just me and him.
God, I love him. I love him so much.
I can tell the way he feels about me. It's been there since he somehow managed to catch up to me when I was trying to get away from him and his 'bad joke.'
Once I got up that ninety degree slope, I thought for sure that I outsmarted him. But of course, I didn't. I made the mistake of stopping and assuming that he couldn't get up. Once he tackled me down, it was there that I saw in his eyes, a look of pleading. Protection. Anything that told me that he was there for me. If that whole incident never occurred, then who knows how my life would be.
I'd probably be tiger skin on the wall.
He really did save me. In every way possible, he did it. Both literally and metaphorically.
"Come with us."
Was it just them?
"Come with me."
That's better.
I couldn't help but smirk at the thought of that memory back at switchback cove. The time was so right. It was undoubtedly the best decision that I've ever made in my entire life.
And now her I am, with the only saber that I've ever had feelings for. It has to happen, and fast. If all of the past events were saying anything about my future, then it's clear to me what I'm suppose to do.
I have to ask him. I have to know. I'm already positive that he feels the same way toward me, but I need him to admit it. Just to be one hundred percent sure.
It's all too much thinking that's going on inside my head. Looking out into the ocean all the way up to the horizon always helped me with my an anxiety problems.
I've got so many. Too many.
It was just one more reason that I needed him. He's the only one that can fill this hole of emptiness inside my heart. He's the only one that I've ever loved.
With nothing more to cast my mind upon, I rise from the island's sands and start to head back towards the gathering area.
My life is so different now. I'm still having a hard time adapting to this place. I don't feel like I belong here. As if I were nothing. All of the herd members would casually look at me, observing every feature of me as if I were some sort of last of its kind creature. As if they've never seen a sabertooth tiger before.
But is that it? Is that the sad truth of it all?
I guess so.
I've always been use to it for a long time. Even before the pirates. I was criticized for the color of my pelt back when I was still in a pack.
Packs. No animal should ever deserve to be in one. You get ordered around. You get assigned to one job that you're best at and are forced to go through that same process everyday.
I was told to believe that eventually I would've done my part in life and live the remainder of my days peacefully.
You lying bastards.
Life is too short to live unhappily. Why should anyone have to work for this world when in the end, we're all gonna be dead anyways?
Why should I give a damn what they think? Talking behind my back, whispering to one another for what ever god important matter about me it was. I feel so paranoid.
So does he.
I inch my way closer and closer to my destination. I was thinking about heading back to the center point, but I just can't stand all the awkward silence and blood shot eyes staring at me. Why can't they stop?
No. Instead, I decided to take a little detour around the whole center area. More traveling, yes. But it's worth it if it meant to dodge anxiety hitting me in the face.
Where exactly was I heading? Just somewhere meaningful. Someplace that changed my life forever.
And there it was. Just up the hill in the distance was a very familiar place. I'd go up there every morning since we made this island our home. He would go up here everyday. I'd actually be out of sight and try to eavesdrop on him. So far to no luck. He never says anything. Even when he's alone. He just stares at it.
The tree.
The same tree that he and his two musketeers threw me in to keep me from getting back to my ship. I've really thought about this whole event a lot more than I probably should.
It was so adorable the way he acted in front of me. I just fell for him instantly. I really though I was a lot more shallow. Always wanting an incredibly good looking saber and not give a damn about personality. Not that he has neither, cause he does. He's got an amazing personality, a great sense of humor, and so much more. He's just someone I'd love to be with every night. He'd make it so much more special.
I sighed as I stared at the hollowed out tree.
"I need you, Diego."
(POV Switch)
'Damn it! Where could she be?!'
I've been looking for her for almost half of the day now. Panic was rising up inside of me. What if she actually did what I was afraid of since the first day she joined our herd? Then what? How the hell could I move on? What if she felt as if this wasn't good enough for her? Or if I wasn't good enough for her?
The back of my mind kept telling me that I was over reacting. I know her well enough, even though its been just roughly over a month since we settled on this island. There's no way that she would just up and vanish all of a sudden and not inform me.
But isn't that what any creature with a brain would do? If someone wanted to leave the heard, they'd more likely just quietly vanish rather than tell someone, and just causing more trouble than needed. It's just that, If your loved a lot by a lot of herd members that are close to you, then you really wouldn't want to leave.
So is that it? She doesn't feel loved?
She thinks that, but she doesn't know that.
I need to find her. I need to. I have to. Before it's too late. If it isn't already too late.
There's only two more places I have in mind. If she's not there, then she must be back at the center point by now. Who just disappears for half a day?
I finally arrive at the hill that rose above a large rocky terrain. I'll never forget this place. It's where we first had an actual conversation.
Who knew that it could change things so drastically?
My ears perked up at an unfamiliar sound.
'Am I being followed?' I let out a growl. Mostly out of fear. I could only imagine who it was. I was in the hollowed out tree at that moment, just to simply take back that nostalgic moment.
Back then, I felt so much more free. Why? It was only after I left the pirates, and before we arrived and settled in our new home. Just for this small amount of time.
I don't understand.
I turn around and walk out of said tree and began to look around. The sound came from near the front entrance.
Maybe it was just the wind or something.
'Well, this is one of the places I had in mind. By the looks of things, she's not here.' I thought to myself as I approached the back side of the tree. I observed every detail of the seemingly aging oak tree. It looked slightly different this time due to the fall season. It looked so much more beautiful this time around. As if it got better everyday.
Just like her.
I lift my ears up and practically every muscle in my body as I heard a sudden noise.
'It's coming from the other side.'
Slowly , I begin to walk around the tree.
'I'm not sure what this all about, but I'm going to put an end to this right now! It's just some sick joke, isn't it?'
I told myself, as I was gradually losing patience. I have no idea who or what it is, but now, it's behind the tree.
'Something is seriously screwing with me!'
I position myself in a ready position, ready to jump forward at my follower.
'Here goes nothing.'
With that, I pounced at what I thought would be about an inch farther away from me, and once I pinned it down, my face slid and he next thing I know, my lips were up against a pair of someone else's.
'There's no way this is happening.' I told myself. Time literally froze at that exact moment, and it was just too damn dark to see completely. Then my heart felt as though it had stopped.
I started to see a pair of glazing emerald eyes.
It finally hit me.
'Are you kidding me?!'
'What in the world is she doing?!'
I suddenly felt her getting off of me.
"No way, no way, no way, no way this just happened." She said out of complete embarrassment.
'There's nothing to be embarrassed about.' I thought as I rose from my position, and finally got a good look at her.
Something about her today really strikes me amazingly. I was just so glad that I was able to find her. It's not too late. Not yet. It's never too late.
"Shira?"
No response.
"Hey, Shira, listen to me." I said, walking up and in front of her. She turned her head away. I could see how red her face was from embarrassment.
What got me more though, like always and everyday, were her eyes.
"It's alright. I'm sorry if I scared you like that. I was just..." I began as I hesitated on my next words.
I'm not sure why I did this. I was just trying so hard to show her how much I wanted her. How much I needed her. How much I loved her.
Slowly, I walked closer to her, and could sense her leaning away because of person space.
I then gently rubbed the side of my head up against hers to comfort her. I wanted to show my concern for her.
"I was just so worried about you. I've been looking for you all day, Shira. I just-
"So was I." I hear her say.
I backed my head up to look at her, and instantly got hooked into her eyes for all the beauty that they were worth.
"You were?" I asked, bringing a smile to my face.
She nodded. It was so cute.
Cute? Yep, she was right. I am soft.
A few seconds passed, and we were gradually having our faces inch closer and closer together. I was about to lay all my cards on the table and go for it. Take the chance. I was so close to just uncontrollably licking all around her to show her how I REALLY felt for her.
But I didn't. At that moment, she leans up to my right ear.
"I want you, Diego."
Time. Space. Frozen. Stopped.
I wasn't meant to, but I did. I believed my ears and believed what she was saying.
She then proceeds to give me a tender lick on my cheek, which just completely did it.
She backs her head up to look at me and get amused by my reaction. She knew all along how I felt for her.
I knew it.
"R-really? Y-your actually willing to-
I was cut short as she pounced on me and locked her lips with mine, and letting out the most irresistible purring I've ever heard, of which, made me start to purr as well.
I observed every feature of her delicate body. She's mine now, and mine only.
Finally, she releases her lock with mine, and looks into my glazing emerald eyes with her liquid sapphire eyes.
"Hey Diego?"
"Ya?"
"It was never too late."
THE END