What I'd Like

Here's what I want. Here's what we've got. Thunder and lightning. Chain reaction. That's what I'd like. I walk in the shadow of distant hopes. I still don't know what I'm looking for, Who was the one that took it all? I dream of a place that I call home and be the shelter from the storm. Who was the one that burnt it all? Hold on to survive. Hold on with the ones in control. - Hardline

"What do you want for Christmas, Diego?"

That must have been asked at least a dozen times everyday for the past month in a half. I'm not quite sure what the whole dilemma behind that saying is. Isn't Christmas suppose to be the one time of year where everyone surprises each other with things that we probably don't need? I'm not sure. I don't believe in Christmas much, but that doesn't mean that I don't celebrate it. Everyone likes free stuff, after all.

Christmas is two days away, meaning that Christmas Eve is tomorrow, also meaning that I've got till tomorrow to have everything set up. I've been thinking about this whole situation longer than I should have. No one will know except me alone. I've planned it since mid November.

What I'm really getting at is what I want for Christmas. I hate that little word in the phrase:

Want.

I don't 'want' anything. I never 'wanted' anything. But I 'need' something. Someone.

Christmas isn't something that I always look forward to. Less and less effort is put into the whole idea each year in the herd. This being said, I don't think I'm the only one that isn't too fond of this whole Christmas idea. That, or it's honestly getting really old really slowly. Each and every year gets more and more difficult to find something for the herd members. This year, I may have just ran out of ideas. Trust me, THIS is the toughest part of the year. Finding a God damn present for each herd member. If anything, they don't want anything. Yet, it's customary. It's just one of many horrors of the season.

But this year is going to be different. It'll be interesting. For better or worse, I'm not sure. If things go the way I plan them to, then for the better. It has to work. Christmas is the perfect chance. It's my only chance. If it fails, I'll have to wait another year. I won't make it by then!

Christmas may be getting old for me, but it's completely new to her.

She's never had or even heard of Christmas before. Typical for a creature who hasn't seen land for God knows how long. But it wasn't her fault after all. It's not like pirates celebrate such for a special occasion. I'd be surprised if they did. Therefore, I'll make sure that this Christmas covers up every Christmas that she's missed out on.

Still, I'm more excited than I normally am every day since she's joined us. Every day since, I've been so eager to just look into her eyes and get completely kicked out of the world as I drowned myself in everything she gave me, whether she knew it or not.

God, I love her. That's the truth of it all. And she'll love this Christmas. I'll make sure of it. I'll give her the best day of her life as she will to mine, whether she means to or not.

So what do I need for Christmas? Something I've had ever since she joined us. Since she joined me.

"Alright. It's the morning of Christmas Eve. It's now or never." I tell myself quietly to make sure I don't awaken her from her slumber. It was towards the brisk of dawn, and i was positive that I was the only one awake. As I started walking over to her side of the cave, occasionally glancing outside the cave to make sure no one was eavesdropping on me, I reached my nose down to her pelt, gently nuzzling her affectionately, taking in her scent for every last bit it was worth.

'If only there were some meaning to this. What I would give if she could nuzzle me back.' I thought as I nearly let out a purr, but refrained myself from doing so. It would probably wake her up.

It was there that I stopped myself as I looked into her eyes. Or, at least I would be if they weren't closed. I was so tempted to try and lift up her eyelid to see that sparkling sapphire beauty. It was just that amazing.

It was also there that I noticed how irresistible she looked when she slept. I could quietly hear her breath inhale and exhale as she'd open her mouth occasionally.
What really got me was the lone tear that remained by her left eye. I had no idea why it was there.

A nightmare? A memory? So much of her character remains a mystery.

I leaned forward and eased my paw up her cheek and towards her eye.

As I was wiping her tear off, making sure I got the majority of it, that ocean that I've looked into everyday since she joined, suddenly appeared again.

It must have been about five or ten seconds that we were looking at each other before I remembered what I was doing and quickly pulled my paw away.

I didn't get a blush on my face right away, but it soon appeared when I thought more and more about my stupid decision. The truth is, shit like this always happens to me. It wouldn't surprise me if I went around asking everyone to describe me in one word and get the same answer every time.

Awkward. That's me in a nutshell. But what am I suppose to do about it? The only bright side of it is that it tends to amuse her whenever I'm doing what I do best. I'm not sure if she pities me, feels sorry for me, or makes fun of me because of it. Anyway I look at it, it gives me the same feeling: I love her because of it.

The look she gave me made me think of all this, and I couldn't do anything to get out of it.

"G-good morning, Shira. I was... uh-

God, what the hell am I doing?!

"I was about to wake you up, because... um..." My mind just stopped for those brief moments as I gazed into her eyes once more.

"I was just wondering if you'd... like to... G-go for a walk... with me." My face was burning of embarrassment. But I pushed myself. Today was the day.

All she did as I said this was smile. So badly I wanted to lean in and make this day her best. But I didn't. I don't know why.

" Just because... It's Christmas Eve, and I know how this being your first Christmas and all- I just thought-

My words were interrupted as she reached her paw over my mouth, that of which I wished were her soft lips.

"Diego..." She said as she sighed. This kind of freaked me out, so I quickly tried to back my words up.

"I mean, if you want to, of course. I-it's your decision after all. I'm- I would never force you or anything." I tried lowering my head and wishing that I could just disappear right then and there.

"Diego..."

I looked up from my embarrassed state of mind, and found myself looking directly into her eyes as she got up and walked up to me.

She smiled at me, forcing me to do the same when she added, "I'd love to."

"You would?" I asked, finding it hard to believe as she nodded.

I nodded as well, letting out a sigh of relief.

"Great."

'So far, so good.'

I led her out of the cave, making sure that I was thinking two steps ahead in case I accidentally fuck something up. I tend to do that on a daily basis, and it'd be nice for once if that didn't happen.

Our conversation started off small, asking each other what we wanted for Christmas. If I were to have heard that one more time, I would've completely lost it. But coming from her, I'd do anything to hear her say it again.

'Thats what I'd like.'

"Still..." Her voice came up again, causing my ears to perk up just to listen to her beautiful voice.

"It seems like forever since we last talked to each other. Why is that.?"

'Because I'm scared. I'm scared that you'll say no.' If that's not the truth, then I don't know what is.
"I don't know..." Such an easy way out.

"Are you afraid of something?"

I nearly tripped over a small rock on the pathway because of that sentence. She could basically read my mind, I was so predictable.

"Afraid? I don't believe so. I guess since Christmas is tomorrow and seeing how you've never celebrated it-"

"I'm so excited for it. I'm not afraid to try new things."

"It's not that. I'm just afraid that you'll get left out."

"But you're here, though."

'Exactly.'

We finally arrived at the hunting area. I've kept it a secret from everyone, especially from Shira. The reason is because of this day.

"Diego, or those-"

"Yep, Reindeer." ( ya, I know Reindeer didn't exist in the Ice Age, but it's Christmas. Can we just go with it?)

"I didn't know they were around these areas."

"Well, now you know." I said as I pointed my eyes near a tall shrub to the right of us. Quietly, we sneaked over to it. About half way, I hear a twig snap from behind. I turned around to see Shira with a sorry look on her face.

Luckily, the prey didn't hear it, amazingly.

We both let out a sigh of relief as we got to the shrub unseen.

"Want something to eat?" I asked no louder than a whisper.

"You're gonna take one down?" She says just as softly.

"Ya, you wanna help?"

"Sure, but it's been a while since I last went out hunting."

I turned away from the prey I had my eyes on. It stood more isolated away than the rest of the group. It was a male as well, making it all too perfect.

As I looked back at her, something just struck me in a way I've never felt before. Seeing her pelt all roughed up from the night before, and the fact that saber's pelts grow longer during the winter seasons, she just looked so much more amazing and irresistible.

'It's as if she hasn't been tamed yet. God, I want her so badly.'

As soon as I was able to regain focus, she had look of impatience, but in a playful way.

"Oh, uh... sorry." I tried apologizing.

'She probably thinks I'm like a freak on a leash. That is what I feel like. I definitely wouldn't blame her.'

"So, which one are we going for?" She asked.

I tilted her head, causing her to giggle, and rested her eyes on the one I was looking at.

"That one."

"Alright, so how's this gonna work?"

'Huh, never actually thought about that.'

I started brainstorming ideas, but I soon figured that a basic strategy would suffice.
"You wanna go for the legs?"

"What are you gonna do?"

"I'll try to get on top of it, making it more vulnerable for you to finish the kill."

"What? Playing 'Hero' again? Fine. More power to ya." She said so wittily. It was just one more thing that I loved about her.

"Alright, then. Ready?"

"Ready."

"I'll go first. Remember, go for the legs." I told her as she nodded.

"On three." I began as I could see the nervousness in her as well as eagerness.

"One." We both got in a ready position.

"Two."

"Three!"

Instantly, I jumped into the air and felt like I had soared right onto the reindeer. I quickly injected my daggers into the flesh, savoring what the taste will be like.

As the prey began kicking at me, I got a glimpse of her silver coat as she came under the galloping ride of a lifetime.

It was there that I knew that she did it.

I couldn't imagine a more beautiful sight than what I was seeing right there.
Seeing her much shorter daggers bite into the left back ankle of our prey, I suddenly felt so relaxed at her performance. I was so lost in her unintended lust, that I didn't notice myself getting thrown off and landing nearly right beside her.

It was gone. Our meal. Our perfect day. Our first Christmas together.

"No... It's gone." I said, no louder than a whisper.

I rested my head in the frostbite covered fields, knowing nothing except that Christmas was ruined.

'I had everything in order. It was all suppose to work. Damn it all. Some Christmas this will be for her.'

Just then, I felt her presence crawl up into me as she rested her head up into my pelt.
"Diego..." She started as she tried to look into my eyes if only I didn't turn away.

"It was all my fault, Shira. I knew how much this Christmas meant for you. I just wanted to make sure you'd enjoy it. That's all I was trying to do."

"Diego..."

"You have every right to be angry." I assured her as I began to get up and leave her presence.

I was nearly standing up when I felt her paw grab my shoulder as she sat me back down just so she could rest her head.

"Diego, I don't care about our meal getting away. I could care less if it got away or not. This Christmas has been so special since the moment I woke up this morning."

She told me as she inched her face closer and closer to mine. Somehow, I knew where this was going as I began to let my mind wonder out of reality.

"Diego..." She stopped for a second.

I looked directly into her eyes.

"You are my Christmas present." She said as she cast a smile along her lips.

If she thought that she would be the one to start the kiss, then she didn't know me well enough.

With all the emotions and feelings I could no longer hold, I dove for the gold and gave her the best Christmas of her life. But I guess we'll had to wait till tomorrow.

Once I released myself from her, I could see the biggest blush appear on her face along with a smile.

"You're my Christmas present too."

We both soon pinned each other down and continued showing our love and affection for one another.

Yes, this Christmas will be my best. It'll sure as hell be her best too.

As the day died down, and a new one rose, I'll always remember those first words on that day:

"Merry Christmas, Softie."

THE END