Summary: Set in OVA2 'verse, the boys try and impress the girls with advice from a deodorant advert….it does not end well.

Pairings: Gray/Juvia, Jet/Levy/Droy, Gajeel/Levy, Elfman/Evergreen, and Natsu/Lucy.

YouTube Prompt: An Exceed tribute to the song 'What's up Pussy Cat?' by Tom Jones.

Gajeel was leaning against the wall as he watched Natsu, Gray, Jet and Droy, and Elfman pull out canister after canister of Lynx deodorant. He half wished that he left with Laxus, Bickslow, and Freed when he had the chance but at the same time someone had to watch this epic fail or how else will it get round the school's gossip mill later?

"It's not going to work dumbasses," Gajeel grunted.

"Of course it'll work!" Natsu said cheerfully as he, like the others, especially Gray, stripped off his shirt. "I've seen it work on the TV!"

"…Dumbass."

"On the count of three," Gray said with a smirk, "One….two…three – SPRAY!"

Gajeel grimaced, but kept his cool and indifferent facial expression, as the boys then began to wildly spray themselves over and over again with Lynx deodorant.

Gajeel's eyes may have started watering just a little bit.

The girls could be seen walking down the corridor, Lucy and Levy were chatting excitedly about something (books most likely), Juvia seemed to be gushing to a blushing Erza, flustered Wendy, and rather uncaring Cana and Evergreen about something. "Here they come," Gray smirked as he continued to spray his deodorant all over himself, "the masses hungry for our scent."

Gajeel rolled his eyes and rolled them even more when, at the sight of Levy, Jet and Droy began to spray even more frantically.

The girls began to cough as they got closer to the boys, they looked pained at the very smell of these morons, and Gajeel really couldn't blame them. What could have been a very awkward and silent moment, as the girls hurried past the boys as if they were lepers, was ruined when Levy was sprayed in the eye by Jet's deodorant as he grew careless with his speedy use of it.

"OH MY GOD! MY EYES!"

"What the hell is wrong with you?!" Lucy snarled, and then coughed some more, "Don't you know how dangerous doing that can be?!"

"S-sorry!" Jet squealed. "I'm sorry Levy-Chan! I didn't mean to!"

"God," Cana groaned, "you all reek."

"I'm suffocating," Wendy whimpered, "and I'm starting to get a headache."

"MY EYES!"

Determined to escape before Erza, demon school council president from hell, decided to punish him along with these morons he calls friends, and a tiny bit concerned about Levy (but don't tell her that), Gajeel put a hand on her shoulder. "Come here, Shrimp," he ordered her, "I'll take you to the nurse."

"T-thank you!"

"LEVY-CHAN!" Jet and Droy wailed after her.

"WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU TWO MORONS THINKING?!" Erza raged furiously. "I'M GONNA ENSURE YOU TWO WILL LEAVE DETENTION IN A CASKET, IT WILL BE THAT LONG!"

The boys' screams were ignored as Cana dragged Wendy out of the 'stinky boy corridor' and the others girls were distracted by Jet and Droy's moronic friends.

"Gray-sama!" Juvia cried out as she clung to Gray's very naked, and very beautiful, chest. "Juvia doesn't care if the deodorant burns her eyes and makes it difficult to breath, Juvia will never let you go or let another woman touch you!"

"Don't you want to run your hands up and down my manly body that now smells MAN?!" Elfman roared triumphantly to his not so secret crush (everyone knew about it, and that means everyone. The teachers found it headache inducing.)

"No!" Evergreen barked before she pushed Elfman into a locker, and marched off with her head held up high.

"Yo, Luce," Natsu said cheerfully as he wrapped an arm round Lucy. "What do you think?"

"God that smell is disgustingly strong. I think I'm going to choke," Lucy groaned, "I'm outta of here," Lucy said more or less to the wall, having decided to not acknowledge Natsu after his act of stupidity. "Goodbye!" she shoved Natsu off of her

Erza followed Lucy leaving the slightly battered boys (and Juvia) standing in the middle of the corridor looking like morons.

"That was stupid," Natsu grumbled, "what was the fucking point in that?" he sulked, with a pout, though he will deny this later.

"It didn't even work," Elfman agreed crossly. "Lynx is no longer MAN!"

"It worked for me."

"Dude," Natsu cried out furiously, "its Juvia, she'll hang off of you even if you were covered in horse shit."

"Natsu-san is right!" Juvia sighed blissfully. "Juvia will always be loyal to her Gray-sama!"

"Oh man!"

FTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFT

Meanwhile Gajeel had ended up heroically carrying Levy up to the nurse's office (because she was taking so long to move that he couldn't asked waiting for her to fucking move) and was holding her tightly to his chest as her nose nuzzled against him.

"Gajeel?" she mumbled softly.

"Hn?"

"You smell really nice."

"Gihihi," Gajeel couldn't help but smirk. After all he was getting what Natsu and those other morons were desperately trying to get without any effort at all. "Thanks, it's Lynx. Worn the correct way."

FTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFT

Later that day, dejected that his Lynx scheme failed and that he got a detention for it (Erza had them all done for vandalism, attacking Levy, and being a general disturbance, oh! And public indecency thanks to Gray forgetting his boxers as well as everything else), Natsu was miserably making his way to his locker when Lucy suddenly called out to him.

He grinned immediately (it cannot be helped, lately it has been his automatic response to whenever he hears her voice) and turned to see her standing in an empty classroom. "Come in here," she gestured at him.

"You want me to come into an empty classroom alone?!" Natsu grinned with evil glee. "All right!" he rushed forwards towards her.

He is then suddenly shocked into a very manly yelp (no matter what Lucy says later) when a bucket of ice cold water lands on his head.

"That's better," Lucy declared, "now I can't smell that god awful deodorant anymore." Lucy then smirked, "Jeeze Natsu. Only an idiot would fall for such a trick."

He got his own back by hugging her and drenching her white blouse….oh and he still stank of too much Lynx as well making it a very uncomfortable hug for Lucy.