Summary: The girls have agreed to do a kissing booth in order to raise money. The boys are not happy about this…
Pairings: Mira/Laxus, Evergreen/Elfman, sibling Elfman/Mirajane/Lisanna, Freed/Evergreen/Bickslow friendship, one-sided Lyon/Juvia, Gray/Juvia, one-sided Jet/Levy/Droy, Gajeel/Levy, Master/Money, Cana/Booze, Romeo/Wendy, brotherly Gajeel/Wendy, brotherly Natsu/Wendy, brotherly Laxus/Wendy, Happy/Charle, one-sided Loke/Lucy, and Natsu/Lucy.
Author's Note: Thank you so much for giving me over FIVE HUNDRED reviews. You have all quickly made this fic one of my highest reviewed fics and it's very touching for me since this is my first long anime fic ever. Thank you so much for the support.
It started when the guild building had been destroyed again and they had run out of the thirty million jewels they had won six months ago…oops.
"If you brats want another guild building," Master said as he gestured to the empty sack of money angrily, "you're going to have to do some fund raising."
"Fund raising?!"
"Yes, bake sales, charity events, sponsorships, donating your reward money-"
"HELL NO!"
"I can barely afford my rent as it is!" Lucy wailed. "How can I donate something, I don't have? This is your fault!" she added with a glare in Natsu's direction.
"What?" Natsu protested. "I didn't do anything!"
"I'm fairly certain this week alone you destroyed five villages, a forest, and our guild building!"
"Never fear," Gajeel smirked, "I can hold a concert and raise the money in no time."
"NO!"
Once again it was unanimously decided by the entire guild. Even the Master who, on a good day, was always encouraging of his children's other talents (or in this case, the lack of them) and Lily, who was always loyal to Gajeel no matter what, had shouted their rejection of Gajeel's idea.
"Why the hell not?!" Gajeel barked.
"We wouldn't be raising money," Freed explained nastily, "we'd be giving it away as an apology for the damage you've done to their ears."
"What was that?!"
"Gajeel," Levy said gently, her small hand on his arm being the only thing that restrained him from beating the shit out of Freed, "what Freed, unkindly, tried to say was that not everyone appreciates your musical talents."
"Lack of musical talent," Gray muttered.
"Why don't you just keep practicing for your performance next week at our new guild building instead?" Levy said as loudly and quickly as she could before Gajeel could shout at Gray. "I can't wait to hear your new song you've been working on."
"Gihihi," Gajeel chuckled, "You got it, Shrimp. You lot!" he pointed at the guild members. "You better listen and like it."
Many members of the guild looked sick at the idea of having to listen to Gajeel sing, but given the choice of being tortured next week and murdered today, they were going to pick the former….gives them more time to come up with an escape plan.
"We could do a bake sale," Erza said a little star-struck, "I could be in charge, and we will have strawberry cake, and-"
"If you were in charge of the bake sale there wouldn't be anything to sell!" Mirajane rightfully pointed out. "No we're better off with a lemonade stand."
"Mira-nee," Lisanna said nervously, "do you remember what happened the last time we did a lemonade stand?"
All the members of the guild shuddered and poor Master whimpered at all the law suits he had to deal with that day. They were not going to do another lemonade stand. Not in this lifetime…
"Look, I've given it some thought," Master said taking charge again, "knowing you stupid brats most bake sales or fund raising events are going to end with us in even more debt. Don't deny it you brats can't stop fighting enough for it to work. So I have come up with a plan, the boys will do absolutely nothing or so help me God I will string them up naked for all of Magnolia to see, but you girls can do a kissing booth."
"WHAT?!"
"It will be fool-proof. All the men are requesting you girls as it is, and if we charge them a jewel for a kiss, we'll be raking in the money before lunchtime."
"Oi! Gramps!" Gray yelled. "You can't sell our girls off like that!"
"We'll think about it," Mira said for all of the girls.
"WHAT?!"
The girls ignored the boys as they huddled together and began to whisper. Most of the boys were clueless to what was being said but Natsu and Gajeel looked furious, Laxus was brooding, and Warren looked far too excited for his own good. Eventually, after what seemed like an eternity as Juvia started wailing about being besmirched by someone that wasn't Gray, and Erza had to comfort her, the girls pulled away and Mira stepped forward with their decision.
"Master," Mira said loudly, "we are decided." She took a deep breath and smiled warmly at the elderly man. "We'll definitely do the kissing booth!"
"WHAT?!"
FTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFT
The boys' protest at what they called a perverted idea where their female members were being sold as prostitutes were being ignored (well apart from the prostitute comment, Gajeel will swear later in life that his left bum cheek was never the same again after the girls were done with him) as Master through himself into advertising the event. Jason did a whole coverage in Sorcerer Weekly, so the whole bloody country knew! So, early on a Saturday morning, the girls set up a wooden stall, and Mirajane being the most willingly, did the very first shift.
While all the boys watched scowling.
"Oh lighten up," Lucy told them, "Mira isn't exactly defenceless, and- Natsu! When I said lighten up I didn't mean set your body on fire!"
Despite Natsu's human torch enactment, the queue for a kiss from Mira was well over a mile long, as all the men from a variety of ages paid to kiss her chastely on the lips because they quickly learnt that if they tried anything else they suddenly got static shock on their crotch (Laxus' innocent whistle fooled no one but Natsu and Happy). Eventually Elfman joined to show his support for his older sister and pecked her cheek, Bickslow and all of his babies showered her with kisses on her face, and even Freed shyly placed a jewel on the stand before kissing Mira swiftly on the cheek.
Then after what was the two hundred and fiftieth thousandth guy to make a lewd suggestion at what else he could pay for, Laxus snapped fully, electrocuted the guy into a coma ("Well…at least he didn't kill him," Freed would later try to defend his friend's actions), and swept Mira up into his arms.
"You kissed enough guys as it is," he said firmly, "Old man has enough to rebuild half the building, someone else can carry on manning this God forsaken booth. You're coming home with me," he finished in a growl.
"Okay," Mirajane agreed with a cheerful smile, "but first we need to stop at the pharmacist, I've run out of condoms."
Elfman choked and cried at his older sister's innocence so blatantly dead while a few other male members seemed to have lost their souls after hearing that, turning into white husks at hearing far too much information, and the girls merely waved Mirajane goodbye while they smirked. Revenge will be theirs!
Evergreen immediately took the shift afterwards and the men (crying in disappointment that Laxus had taken off with the Mirajane) suddenly vanished. "Oi!" she shrieked after them. "What the fuck is wrong with you perverts?!"
"It's probably because you have a….ah, reputation, of turning men into stone," Freed pointed out delicately as possible, "you are quite fearsome, Ever."
"Come on Freed, that's sugar-coating it," Bickslow elbowed the gentlemanly dressed mage, "What Freed is too kind to say is that you're bat-shit scary, Ever."
"Bat-shit scary! Bat-shit scary! Bat-shit scary!"
"SHUT UP!" Evergreen screamed at Bickslow's babies, she then yanked her glasses off, met Bickslow's eyes, and turned him and subsequently his babies into stone. "Ah," she sighed peacefully, "that's better."
Freed sweat-dropped. "You….kinda just proved our point," he mumbled as he slowly edged away from his insane female best friend.
There was a few hours in which nothing happened. No man dared to go near Evergreen as no one was that stupid but eventually this level of rejection got to the secretly soft-hearted girl and her eyes were beginning to well up with tears.
That was when Elfman suddenly slapped ten jewels down on the table. "I will buy all the kisses from you!" he declared passionately. Evergreen's cheeks flushed pink and Elfman's tanned skin was suspiciously bright red as well as he quickly leaned down and kissed her. "That was MAN!" he bellowed when he pulled away.
Everyone winced when Evergreen suddenly shot up and punched him across Magnolia but in all honesty…..what did he expect? He implied that she kissed like a guy and girls never took too kindly to that.
With a sudden murderous intent taking over her senses, Evergreen abandoned the stall, and it was up to Laki to take over. She didn't have much success but she did get a few boys to donate to the cause when the shift changed and it was Cana's turn…less said about that the better. After all Cana started to give money away in order to get a drink.
"Cana," Macao said as sternly as possible as both he and Wakaba pinned her to the ground, "You're supposed to be selling kisses for a fund raiser, not give money out so you could bribe someone to get you a drink!"
"Shut up! I haven't had a drink in hours! I need one!"
"You need rehab!"
Everyone watched shame-faced as Reedus had to paint chains and a cart, and it took Max's, Nab's, and Warren's united strength to tie Cana up and dump her in said cart for Reedus to drive her home. God that was humiliating. It was no wonder they had a reputation for being drunken brutes.
It was then, much to her terror, Juvia's turn. She had been both excited and terrified about the whole thing, excited because Gray-sama may actually kiss her for once, and terrified because she had nightmares of disgusting men that weren't Gray-sama pawing at her. She dressed in her best, modest, dress, and had only allowed Mira to apply Chap Stick on her lips. She wasn't going to be encouraging these disgusting perverts that weren't her beloved Gray-sama.
With a deep breath, she sat down at the stall and waited for her first customer.
"JUVIA, MY LOVE!"
"GAH!"
Poor Juvia was scared out of her wits so much by Lyon's sudden appearance that she fell out of her chair, legs up in the air, and much to her shame her dress pooled down to her waist, so everyone could see her knickers.
"My poor beloved!" Lyon clutched his chest. "Allow me to help you up. Shame on you!" he roared at the laughing Natsu, snickering Gajeel, and amused other members of the guild. "To laugh at such a beauty being compromised! Juvia, my dear" he helped her up," I have come to buy all of your kisses."
At this point Lyon started to sparkle and exude a chivalric, prince-like, aura that made Juvia a little shy and flustered. "What do you mean all my kisses?" she asked nervously.
"Just as I have said," Lyon said softly, still sparkling, "will a million jewels be enough to convince you to never kiss another man?"
"Like hell!"
And suddenly, Lyon was pushed away from Juvia, and punched so hard in the fact that he sky-rocketed into the nearest building.
"No one but a guild member gets to kiss Juvia!" Gray shouted. He then pulled out a sack of jewels, there must have been hundreds in there, and threw it on the stall. "I'll kiss you," he snapped, "not that lunatic!"
"Oh Gray-Sama!" Juvia gasped.
He leaned down and Juvia's heart started to beat wildly in her chest. This was it! He was going to now realise that she was the girl for him, not Love Rival Lucy, or Love Rival Ultear, or….okay there was too many Love Rivals to count, but none of them were going to be kissed by him. They weren't going to have him suddenly realise that she was the girl of his dreams, take them home, and get started on making their thirty babies! Sadly, before his lips could even touch hers…..Juvia passed out into a puddle of water.
Several members who had been watching this suddenly face-palmed at that.
"Poor Juvia…" Lucy sighed.
"She's going to hate herself for that," Levy agreed.
"How pathetic," Gajeel grunted.
"Aye."
After Gray managed to clean up what was left of Juvia and take her home, Wendy bravely took the stall.
Within minutes small boys were queueing up for a kiss. They didn't linger for long though as poor Wendy got very flustered and nervous under the dark glares of Laxus (who made his return coolly as if he hadn't been in need of a condom), Gajeel, and Natsu. In fact the poor boys were no better and were only able to put their money down on the table before they peed themselves, screamed, and left running to get away from three overprotective, over-bearing, dragon slaying brothers.
Romeo, however, was a Fairy Tail wizard which meant he was naturally suicidal. He strode over, slapped down his jewel, and with a defiant glare at the Dragon Slayers, he kissed Wendy's lips firmly before he marched off.
(And hid somewhere with his face bright red but only Kinana who spotted him knows that.)
"Let's kill the punk," Gajeel growled.
"Well," Wakaba patted Macao on the back, the older fire-mage looked rather constipated with horror. "He lived for this long. It was bound to happen sooner or later. He is Fairy Tail."
"I cannot believe that perverted old man made my Wendy sell her kisses," Charle fumed to a silent Lily, "doesn't he think what that could do to an innocent young girl, what if she likes it?!"
"What about you, Charle?" Happy asked, obliviously cheerful as always, "Will you be selling kisses?"
"Absolutely not!"
"God, Happy," Natsu teased his blue cat, "You're such a pervert."
Happy burst into tears (he had only wanted Charle to accept his fish, kiss him, and then run off and have lots of babies with him) and flew away while Lucy and Lisanna elbowed Natsu for being an insensitive prick….again.
When Erza took the stall, business went back to booming as every man in the land (apart from Fairy Tail members) fantasised about kissing Tatiana as much as they have with Mirajane. The surprise was when Meredy appeared with a very big sack stuffed with jewels.
"I will give this to the cause," she declared, "if you kiss Jellal for the next three hours."
"K-k-kiss!" Erza stuttered, her cheeks bright red. "J-J-Jellal? T-t-three hours?! I….I…I…."
And at that, she passed out with her nose streaming blood from all the perverted fantasies her mind conducted within the fifteen seconds.
"Oh great," Gajeel muttered sarcastically, "we lost another one."
Levy took the stand next which was….comically disastrous. No male was able to reach the stand because Jet and Droy kept slamming jewels down. Levy was forced to kiss them both on cheek over and over again until they got so frustrated that they started shouting at each other.
"Back off Droy!" Jet screeched. "Levy-Chan is kissing me next!"
"Like hell, Jet1" Droy snarled in return. "Levy-Chan is kissing me next!"
"No, me!"
"No, me!"
"No, me!"
"No, me!"
"No, me!"
"No, me!"
"No, me!"
"No, me!"
"No, me!"
"No, me!"
"No, me!"
"No, me!"
"No, me!"
"No, me!"
It was at this point, poor Levy became a ragdoll, as both Jet and Droy began to pull at her arms as they tried to win the battle of who got to kiss Levy next. Poor Levy could be seen wincing in pain and sweat-dropping profusely at the embarrassment this was causing.
Gajeel decided to settle the problem by knocking the two morns heads together, slapping a sack full of jewels onto the booth, and then throwing Levy over his shoulder. Gajeel then just carried her off wordlessly, and neither of them were to be seen again for the next seventy two hours.
Seventy two hours which were to be filled with Jet and Droy's sobbing….joy.
The next two shifts were uneventful, Kinana didn't last long. Her shyness got the better of her. Lisanna then took over which resulted everyone getting a kiss virtually hassle free (Elfman would have behaved in an overprotective fashion if it wasn't for the fact Evergreen turned him into stone before he could open his mouth).
And then finally, finally, some perverts thought thankfully, it was Lucy's turn
As if by magic the queue suddenly grew to the end of the town line the moment Lucy sat down. "Holy shit!" Gray cried out somewhere in the middle of the line (he got stuck in it when a hoard of boys appeared out of nowhere and dragged him down the street). "Did every guy in Fiore turn up for this?"
Lucy sighed, wishing once again that they did a bake sale instead, as she permitted one creepy guy after another to kiss her. Forty nine of them tried to stick their tongues down her throat (thankfully Erza snapped back into her senses to drag them off), while thirty tree had tried to grab a boob, and twelve suggested that Lucy ought to go home with them.
And to make matters worse Loke kept coming back for more.
"Lucy, my love!" he declared as he placed another jewel down on the booth. "I am ready for another loving kiss from my Master!"
"Didn't I just kiss you eight times?!" Lucy cried out. "How have you not been beaten up for pushing in the line?!"
"Lucy, Lucy, Lucy," Loke shook his head fondly, "am I not one of your strongest celestial spirits? I have my ways. Now where is kiss number nine?"
Lucy sighed, for what felt like the millionth time, and leaned up to kiss her spirit when suddenly his head was set on fire.
"ARGH!" Loke screamed in agony. "WHAT THE FUCK, NATSU?!"
Lucy screamed as she realised all the customers were on fire and trying to put it out by jumping in the canal. She had no chance to scream at Natsu as he shoved a large sack of money down onto the booth, grabbed her shoulders, hauled her up, and crashed his lips against hers.
He then carried her off back to her apartment where it was made very clear that no one was to kiss her again. Especially Loke.
The Master was too bus rolling in money to scold Natsu for burning the customers and torching the stall down. In fact, he gleefully rubbed his hands together as he now knew exactly how much money his boys had.
In future they can pay their own damage expenses.