Summary: When Fairy Tail is de-aged it's up to the grown-ups and Lucy's spirits to babysit them all.
Pairings: one-sided Loke/Lucy, Juvia/Gray, parental Gildarts/Cana, Natsu/Lucy, one-sided Loke/Lisanna, Natsu/Lisanna friendship, mentions of Loke/Others, Gajeel/Juvia friendship, implied Levy/Gajeel, one-sided Lyon/Juvia, one-sided Chelia/Lyon, Wendy/Charle friendship, Virgo/Lucy friendship, some implied Aquarius/Lucy friendship, implied Jet/Droy if you squint, and parental Master/Everyone.
YouTube Prompt: A tribute to Fairy Tail boys to the song 'The Boys Are Back in Town' by Thin Lizzy. Because some of the lyrics honestly sound like Gray, Loke, Natsu, and co were out on a piss up.
It was Natsu's fault.
It usually always is.
He and Lucy had lost all the financial aspect of their reward and brought back only magical dust (much to Lucy's irritation) and, of course, Natsu had to hold onto it because it was his, and keep hold of it even while he was fighting Gray and Gajeel simultaneously. So, of course, the bag of magical dust got flung in the air, loosened somehow, and Happy in his mad dash to catch it accidentally covered all the nearby members in the stuff.
Everyone coughed, spluttered, and Cana even choked as a lot of it got in her drink just as she was about to gulp it down.
"What the hell Natsu?!" Lucy shrieked. "We already lost all our money because of your ability to destroy everything with a single blink, but now you lost our only reward because you had to-"
Lucy cut herself off with a gasp as she looked down horrified at her hand. Natsu opened his mouth worriedly as if he was about to ask if she was okay when he suddenly closed his mouth and frowned at his own body. He wasn't the only one, Gray suddenly looked uncomfortable, Cana shrieked and ducked under the table as her top began to slip down, Erza groaned under the sudden weight of her armour, Gajeel snarled furiously at his own hands, and several other members seemed to get smaller and squeakier in their panic.
The Master almost screamed in horror when he realised all of his brats were de-aging. Before he could think of any way possible to counteract the spell it had finished, and all his annoying, lovable, brats, were now the small children they were over fourteen years ago now.
"Oh crap!" Wakaba's cigar fell out of his mouth. "Does this mean we have to go through puberty with them, again?"
The Master really did scream then.
(I mean, have you tried giving Natsu, Gray, and Erza the sex talk? Worst day ever!)
FTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFT
Natsu was beginning to have a really weird day. It had started of fine, he got up, fished, ate, arrived at the guild, played with Lisanna, fought with Gray – and then bam! It got weird. The guild looked different, his clothes were too big for him, and everyone else seemed to have been picking up Gray's stripping habit. Cana especially as he caught a glimpse of her whimpering under the table as she clutched a gigantic shirt to her naked chest.
And then there was the really weird new people. The tiny blue haired girl that was being cuddled by a white cat in a pink dress, the weird, studded, guy that sulked in the corner while petting (rather cautiously) a black, scarred cat, another weird blue haired girl who seemed to literally have a rain cloud over her head, and then there was the blonde girl.
She was a real weirdo. All big eyes, tears for no reason, and she was looking at them all as if they were monsters or something! Really weird! He decided to prove to her that she had no reason to cry (because for some reason he couldn't stand the thought of her crying, another weird thing about her, she makes him think that), and approached her.
"Hi, I'm Natsu!" he said loudly, cheerful, and a little bit forceful as he waved at her. "Who are you?"
"EEK!" the weirdo squeaked as she hid further back under the table. "Um….I'm Lucy, hello…"
"Why are you hiding under the table?"
"I don't know where I am," she confessed in a deadly whisper. As if she said it any louder, bad people will use it against her. "It's loud and scary."
Natsu hoped she wasn't easily scared by loud noises or they would never get her out from under the table. Fairy Tail was the noisiest place in the whole world, and as if it wanted to prove its point, Erza just screamed a battle cry as she sent a nude Elfman flying into the wall. The girl flinched but didn't whimper or anything. That had to be a good sign, right? "Well I wouldn't be scared, this is Fairy Tail and-"
"Fairy Tail?!" Weirdo Lucy, or whatever her name was, interrupted him excitedly. She suddenly grabbed hold of his wrist and shoved her pretty but rather snotty face in his. "I'm in Fairy Tail?" she asked disbelievingly. "I can't believe it. Can I join?"
Natsu couldn't help but grin. Weirdo, she may be, but at least she seemed to love Fairy Tail as much as he did and that was always a bonus for him. "You want to join? Well sure, what magic do you do?"
"Celestial magic," she answered immediately as she went to pick up some weird gold keys. It shouldn't surprise him. Everything else about this girl was weird. "I have – OH MY GOD! I have more keys!" she suddenly cried out as she held the keys out for him to look at. They were mostly gold, some were silver, and were weirdly shaped. He wondered what sort of door they went in, and why it was such a big deal to have so many. What if she lost them? Surely it wasn't safe to have so many. This was why Natsu had no keys at all. He or Happy might lose it. The weirdo, because she really was, suddenly kissed the keys and held one to her chest in a really weird dreamy state. "I have Leo! He's the strongest!"
Natsu glowered at the key. He didn't like the idea that Luigi or whatever her name was, thought there was someone stronger than him. "I bet I'm stronger!" he barked out irritated.
She frowned at him and opened her mouth to say something when suddenly a gold light came out of her key and a weird smelling, ginger-haired, bloke with sunglasses came out. What the fuck?! (Don't tell Erza he swore, she would kill him!).
"Lucy, my love!" the ginger weirdo shouted, hand at his chest dramatically "I'm at your ser…." He trailed off when he caught sight of the blonde weirdo girl. "Lucy….what happened?" he asked worriedly and Natsu tilted his head at that curiously. Didn't the weirdo normally look like that? He wondered what she really looked like. "You're adorable!" the ginger guy cried out dramatically.
Weirdo Luigi flushed at that, which made Natsu a little cross, he didn't know why. Where the hell was Happy? Happy would be a good distraction. "So you are my spirit?" Lucy asked hesitatingly.
"More than that!"
"My friend?!"
"More than that! I'm your fiancée!"
"EH?!"
Lucy screamed out in confusion and Natsu snarled. He didn't like this guy at all. Before either of them could say something though another gold light came from Lucy's weird keys and this time a pink-haired woman dressed in a maid uniform appeared.
"Leo-Nii-san, I've come to stop your lies," she said in a monotone voice, "Aquarius said if you took advantage of Hime, she would make…"
The weirdo maid then proceeded to detail the most horrific things Natsu ever heard in his life. He never knew someone could do that to a male bit of anatomy and shove it up somewhere that sun most definitely does not shine (especially after Happy eats tinned tuna….never again, urgh), he wasn't the only one sickened, everyone nearby including the weird girl, looked like they were going to throw up to.
"Okay, okay!" the ginger-haired guy cried out. "Lucy, sorry, I lied, we're not engaged, but one day I will make you see the light and-"
"Hime," the maid interrupted the creepy ginger guy, "you are incredibly undressed again. Shall I dress you?" Hime, or Weirdo, or Luigi, whatever her name was, nodded her agreement. "And then shall I be punished!"
"NO!" the weirdo screamed. "Erm…." She blushed again. Weirdo. "Thank you. For the clothes….could you….erm, help the others get dressed."
And she then gives him a pointed look which makes him realise that he was naked to.
Damn Gray and his contagious stripping habit!
FTFTFTFTFTFTFTFT
Master was thankful that Lucy's spirits had come out to help. Once newly dressed all of his shitty brats calmed down enough to stop trying to kill each other or break his walls. Instead they were all curiously examine their newest member and he couldn't help but study his new cute children either, okay, cute was stretching it for Gajeel who was obviously hitting adolescence hard with all the spots and greasy hair, but it definitely worked for the girls. Wendy was so tiny and adorable as she buried her face into Charle's white fur, Lucy looked angelic as she allowed Natsu to drag her all over the guild (Happy following them and giggling, "the liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiike each other" he kept saying), and Juvia had been hiding under the table as she accidentally made it rain both outside and in the guild building.
Fortunately after Virgo dressed her in a very pretty blue dress, the rain stopped inside but he could hear a storm raging on outside still.
"You okay?" Gray, clad only in his boxers, approached Juvia. "I wouldn't worry about that moron," he pointed at Natsu who was now showing off his fire juggling to Lucy only to accidentally set people's hair on fire. "I won't let him do anything stupid to you."
Juvia blushed at that sweetly. "Thank you," she said quietly, "but that is not why Juvia is sad. Juvia is sad because of the rain."
"Well can't you just say the spell?" Gray blinked. "Rain, rain, go away, come back another day. Works all the time for me."
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Juvia suddenly burst into tears. The Master groaned and almost gurgled to death as the water level in the guild suddenly rose to his chin. "YOU WANT ME TO GO AWAY! YOU'RE SO MEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!"
"No!" Gray cried out alarmed. "That wasn't what I meant! I just-"
"GRAY!" Erza barked furiously. "Did you make this girl cry?"
"No! Yes! Not on purpose!"
Gray had only a two second head start before Gajeel tripped him over and pinned him on the ground for Erza to brutally murder.
"YOU MUST NEVER MAKE A MAIDEN CRY!" Erza screamed. "HAVE I TAUGHT YOU NOTHING?!"
Juvia would have continued crying until everyone had drowned if it hadn't been for Bisca swopping in and picking up the blue haired girl. "Oh don't cry sweetie," she cooed, "Gray is just useless with the girls that he likes."
"He likes me?" Juvia sniffled hopefully.
"Who wouldn't like a pretty girl, like you?" Bisca asked. "Now why don't you come with me and we'll dry that little face of yours, and then we'll go for ice cream. In fact why don't we all go out for ice cream?" All the children cheered and Bisca's face paled as she realised she couldn't afford to buy everyone an ice cream. Especially for the likes of the Dragon Slayers who ate five times the amount of normal people. "On second thoughts, how about the only well behaved ones?"
Master almost sobbed at that as it meant Bisca and Alzack left only with Asuka, Juvia, Levy, Wendy, Elfman, and Lisanna. Lucy had refused to leave without Natsu and Cana had been too shy to say yes, while the rest were just badly behaved. Erza had finished almost killing in Gray and was now fighting with Mira, Gajeel and Natsu had started fighting, Laxus snarled wordlessly and put his headphones in, Jet and Droy were bickering, and Gray probably needed medical treatment….
He was too old for this! And he had no one to help! Macao and Wakaba were useless, Loke and Virgo had reassured him they would help but they could only be there for a certain amount of time…..and their only interest was Lucy! He needed them to look after more than one brat! His grandson's annoying friends were out on a mission, Gildarts was God knows where (though he did leave a message through his own card in hopes the man would come back), and there was no way in hell he would be able to convince Porlyusica to babysit his brats. He could barely get her to give them the medical care he pays her for.
He was just about to admit defeat when the doors suddenly broke down and Gildarts stepped in. "Cana!" he cried out as he suddenly scooped the brunette girl into a bone-crushing hug. "My baby girl! Never fear! Daddy is here!"
Cana choked in his arms and struggled a little bit in order to look up at his face. "You know?!" she managed to croak.
"Yes," Gildarts said as he held her closer to him much more gently, "and I will make it up to you. I promise! You will get all the dolls your heart desires!"
And with that Gildarts swept Cana off home, with Natsu chasing after him for a fight, and Erza and Gray chasing after Natsu to stop him, and Lucy just followed because she took one look at Mirajane glowering furiously and ran for it.
The Master didn't care. This just meant he could rope someone else in for babysitting and what more Gildarts was more than capable to take care of his unruly little nightmares!
Later the Master will realise that Gildarts had destroyed two cities, four towns, and ten villages in his haste to get home, and would suffer a severe heart attack at the bill he receives for all the damages.
(Fortunately Laxus, far too used to this happening, had been nearby to shock his grandfather back to life.)
FTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFT
The next few days were a struggle for everyone but Gildarts who got to buy Cana toys, take her out, and tuck her into bed and was therefore far too cheerful for his own good. Especially since Natsu kept attacking him whenever he got the chance….though Lucy and her spirits were slowly putting a stop to that as Natsu got more and more distracted by the blonde much to the amusement of everyone (though they were too tired to laugh).
Macao, Wakaba, Max, Warren, and Nab got left in charge of babysitting the boys. It is needless to say for two days they had been tied to a chair while the boys wrestled each other for the last tin of baked beans for dinner. They were as utterly useless as Master had cruelly predicted.
And unfortunately Erza helped the boys stack up the damage expenses as she decided the best way to stop the fighting had been to chuck Natsu and Gajeel into two different buildings…oh to be a rich and childless man…
The girls, apart from Mira and Erza, were much easier to look after. While Gildarts was pampering Cana, Loke and Virgo had taken charge of the girls. Virgo dressed them all in princess gowns while Loke lend them all out to a field for daily tea parties.
"Come my princesses!"
The boys watched gobsmacked as Loke skipped across town holding onto Lucy's hand, as she held onto Juvia's, who held Lisanna's, who held Levy's, who held a rather embarrassed and reluctant Erza's hand, who held Wendy's hand, as they all followed him cheerfully. Wakaba would later swear he saw flowers and sparkles surround the lot which of course would cause people to question what exactly he was smoking.
"There's something wrong with that guy," Gajeel growled. He didn't like how Loke suddenly picked up Juvia, his best friend, and nuzzled her cheek affectionately before he picked up that weird bookworm and did the exact same thing. "We have to stop that pervert."
"Agreed," the other boys muttered.
FTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFT
Natsu had even more cause to dislike Loke as the following day Lisanna approached him. She was still dressed in her pretty green princess dress and matching cone hat that Virgo had made especially for her.
She fidgeted weirdly. Like she was embarrassed about something. "Natsu….erm you know when I asked if I could be your wife?" she asked shyly
Natsu blinked at her. "Yeah?"
"I'd like to take that back."
"Okay…." Natsu agreed happily enough. After all he had never said yes and he didn't know if he really wanted to marry Lisanna. He just knew he liked to play games with her. Like ninja. "Why?"
"I want to marry Loke instead!"
"WHAT?!" Natsu roared, more out of shock and horror rather than fury. "Why?!"
Lisanna shook him by the shoulders. "Think Natsu" she hissed. "If I marry Loke then Lucy's free to marry you!"
"…Shut up!"
"Also," she giggled sweetly, "I really like Loke. He treats me like a princess."
Natsu looked at the blissful happy look on his best friend's face and didn't have the heart to tell her that Loke treated every girl like a princess. Instead he marched up to Loke, who was making flower crowns for all the girls, set fire to the crown he was about to place on Lucy's head, and then kicked him really hard in the shin.
Loke howled while Natsu stormed off again, this time with Lucy's hand in his, as he decided her weirdness and brains would be useful in coming up with a revenge plan for the future broken heart of Lisanna Strauss.
(And don't believe Gray! He so did not make flower crowns with Lucy!)
FTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFT
"AH SOMEONE HELP ME!"
Another day had gone by and those who were still adults couldn't help but become amused at the fact some things never changed. Like their young adult selves, Juvia had taken to chasing Gray and declaring her love for Gray, while Gray had taken to running as fast as he could to get away from his stalker.
"Juvia wishes to play House with Gray-sama!" Juvia shouted tearfully. "Why won't Gray-sama play with her?!"
"Gray!" Erza barked over her strawberry cake. "Play with her!"
"But she wants to play under water!" Gray protested whiningly. "I'll drown! Why would we play House under the water anyway?"
"Mermaid House!" Juvia explained excitedly. "Lucy-san even promised Juvia to summon her mermaid spirit to play the evil witch that kidnaps our beautiful mermaid babies for her evil plot. Please Gray-sama! Play with me."
(Much later Aquarius will try to drown Lucy for making such a promise to Juvia. She was one of the powerful spirits of the twelve zodiac, not some child's toy…)
Before Gray could come up with an excuse, or shout his refusal, or run away, or all three things, Juvia was suddenly swept up into some pervert's arms. Lyon, having heard that his younger student had been turned back into a kid, had come running to Fairy Tail offering his help, but instead seemed insistent on taking embarrassing photos of Gray and to try charm Juvia.
"Don't worry Juvia, my love!" he cried out passionately. "I shall play with you!"
Gray's hands clenched into fists as he shook with fury. He was about to punch the arsehole and turn him into an ice sculpture of a princess when Gajeel suddenly punched Lyon in the crotch with his iron fist. "Pedo!" he barked. "Keep your hands off her!"
Lyon screamed in agony as he dropped Juvia in order to clutch at his crotch. Gray barely caught her in time and landed flat on his stomach. "Come on," Gajeel growled as he hauled Juvia off of Gray, "we better get that Shrimp and get outta here, that pervert obviously likes blue haired girls."
"What about Wendy-san?"
Charle suddenly held up her very sharp claws which glittered under the light. "Just let him try," she snarled, "I'll turn him into my new scratching post."
"Honestly…" Chelia, who had come along with Lyon in order to play with Wendy, "what did he expect?"
"I think Obaba's spinning had turned his brain into mush," Master said sympathetically, "after all she is quite…enthusiastic and I've known people to get nosebleeds from it."
"Yeah but at the rate he's going, he'll end up arrested!" Chelia cried out, then she paused for a moment. "Actually….that might do him some good. Do you think if I'm the only girl he'll see, he'll fall for me and forget about Juvia-Chan?"
Master smacked his head repeatedly against the wooden bar. And people thought Fairy Tail was screwed up, they obviously never bothered having a conversation with a Lamia Scale member!
FTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFT
It didn't surprise anyone at all that some of Fairy Tail's more deadly, yet round the mill, enemies (i.e. the likes of Twilight Ogre) caught wind of the members of Fairy Tail had turned into children, and attacked. In fact it would have surprised them if they didn't. A chance to get Natsu, Gray, Erza, Gajeel, and Mirajane when they weren't as powerful as they used to be? They would be too stupid not to.
It started on a deceptively nice day when Erza, Levy, Juvia, and little Wendy were being escorted by Loke and Charle to the guild building when they attacked. Wendy screamed and sent one of her attackers flying with a blast of wind. Erza immediately pounced into an attack but it didn't take long for her to be sent back into Loke, who grunted but kept her up right.
"Charle!" he barked. "Take Wendy and get the others!"
"Yes."
"Now then," Loke fixed his tie and sunglasses, "shall I teach you exactly why you shouldn't harm my princesses?"
He leaped into an attack and managed to knock two out but another one managed to land a hit on him that sent him flying. "Loke!" Juvia and Levy screamed.
Another was about to hack Loke into two with their sword when Mirajane suddenly appeared out of nowhere in her Satan Soul, smaller but still deadly, and kicked them hard in the face. Gildarts roared furiously as he sent ten flying into the canal, Master blasted a few himself, while Macao set them on fire, and Alzack and Bisca started to shoot them down one at a time.
"Hime," Virgo said as she placed a hand on Lucy's (she, like Natsu and the others had run outside to help) shoulder, "go back inside with the others. Loke-nii-san and I will deal with this."
Lucy opened her mouth to argue but an axe flew across the battlefield and Virgo barely ducked into time before she used her magic to go underground and surprise attack a group of men in her gorilla form.
Lucy whirled round to look at Natsu, who she knew without a doubt would agree with her, "we can't leave them!" she cried out. "Virgo and Loke haven't been home in days, they've been weakened a lot. I need to protect them!"
"'Course," Natsu agreed, "They're family."
"Yeah," Lisanna agreed, a tiny bit frightened, "but what can we do?"
Natsu smirked.
Gildarts faltered when he heard Cana scream (a nasty thug appeared out of nowhere and tried to stab her, she got out of the way but her dress was torn), Macao and Wakaba almost keeled over out of exhaustion, Alzack and Bisca began to fumble a bit as they started to run out of power, Virgo faded into stardust as exhaustion won out of her determination to protect Lucy, and Loke was incredibly weakened as he collapsed before the girls.
"NOW!"
The Master watched in happy surprise as his children began to combine their powers. Natsu and Gray shot fire and ice in unison, Juvia sent the water in the canal flying, Gajeel smacked with his iron fists, Erza sent swords and brooms alike flying, Levy caste spells, Laxus electrocuted everyone, the Strauss siblings performed one of their combined attacks, Wendy blew out gusts of wind, and Cana and Lucy concentrated their powers into supporting the others. It was a swift, brutal, and stunning attack that sent the last of their enemies flying.
And that, was why no one should attack Fairy Tail. No matter what they've heard.
"Well done you shitty brats!" Master boomed happily. "For showing what Fairy Tail is really about. I'm really proud of you. There's no doubt about it. There's only one thing left to do…"
He paused for a moment and relished the eager and completely on tenterhooks expressions on his brats' faces.
"PARTY TIME!"
FTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTT
You would think with them being children again the parties would be less destructive due to the lack of booze. You would think wrong. Sugar was to these children version of his brats exactly what booze had been to their adult version….so of course, everyone fought, brawled, Erza attacked all the boys, Juvia burst into hysterical tears multiple times, and lots and lots of things got broken.
So when all of his brats finally collapsed out of sheer exhaustion…and well a sugar crash, Master happily draped blankets over them all, lit up a pipe, and enjoyed a good stiff drink before collapsing out of exhaustion himself.
Overnight something miraculous happened….the children grew up again, and then something amusing happened, they all woke up in compromising positions….as adults. With no memories of the days before.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
Jet and Droy leaped away from one another, Gray tried to pull away from Juvia's arms but Erza kept kicking him back in place as she raged at Elfman for resting his head on her breasts, Levy made an attempt to leave Gajeel's lap but….well she didn't try very hard. And Lucy struggled in Natsu's arms.
"PERVERT!" Erza screeched as she tried to slash Elfman with her sword. "BISMIRCHING MY VIRTUE!"
"LUCY KICK!"
"GAH!" Natsu screamed as he flew across the guild. "WHAT DID I DO?!"
"CANA!" Gildarts tried to cling to Cana as she crawled to hide under a table. "MY BABY!"
"STAY AWAY FROM ME, OLD MAN!"
"GRAY-SAMA!"
"GUH!"
"SILENCE!"
Everyone obeyed their Master's roar of fury to the point they all froze into place. Gray submitted himself to Juvia's serene and tight embrace, Erza stopped trying to kill Elfman, Lucy stopped shrieking at Natsu, and Gildarts stopped his pathetic begging.
"Ah," Master said blissfully, "that's better. It's good to see you all back to your normal selves. Especially you girls with your breasts."
The boys all took one big step back as the girls shook with fury…it was Mirajane that landed the first and last blow which sent Master flying out of the roof and into the canal.
(Still, the boys all thought privately, he has a point.)