Tales of Fairies Chapter 70: The Gingerbread House, a fairy tail fanfic

Summary: Set between episodes nine and ten. Starving to death, Team Natsu stumble upon a house made of sweets…

Pairings: Natsu/Food, Erza/Cake, Gray/Food, Lucy/Food, OC/Food, some general Team Natsu friendship feels, and a little of Natsu/Lucy.

YouTube Prompt: Couples tribute to 'Marry You' by Bruno Mars….oh the feels.

"I'm sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo hungry!"

"We all are!" Gray snapped. "So why don't you shut it or I shut your mouth for you!"

"What was that, you pervert?!"

"You heard me, Ash-for-Brains!"

"Do I hear fighting?" Erza said coldly. "Because if I do the people fighting will be the first to see how my sword tastes."

"We're not fighting!"

"Aye, sir! Best of friends!"

"Only ever the best of friends!"

Lucy rolled her eyes at the sight of Natsu and Gray clinging to one another. They weren't fooling anyone. Even Happy had sweat-dropped at the pathetic-ness of their attempt to convince Erza neither of them were fighting. It was just a case that everyone was too hungry to care about anything else…apart from being murdered by Erza, they cared about that.

They had escaped the horrible, desert/canyon place that they had been travelling through for what had felt like centuries and were now in the middle of a forest, which hopefully meant food….but so far no luck and Lucy had to admit, it was tempting to sacrifice Happy and eat him.

She wouldn't! But still! She was starving! And her hunger was nothing in comparison to Erza's, Gray's, and Natsu's, they seemed like wolves.

And then suddenly they saw it.

A miracle within the middle of the woodlands….

….A house made entirely of sweets.

The walls were gingerbread, the windowpanes were marzipan, the door was chocolate (how it didn't melt in this heat Lucy doesn't know), the furnishings were dolly mixtures, and pear drops, and icing decorated every inch of it….it was so beautiful.

"Lucy," Natsu smirked, "You're drooling. You weirdo.

"So are you!" Lucy snapped by her ire vanished as she set eyes back on the gorgeous house of food. "Am I hallucinating?" she wondered out loud.

"If you are then so am I," Gray said.

"Stop staring at it you brats!" Master shouted. "Let's eat!"

"AYE SIR!"

Lucy was nibbling ferociously on a wall while Natsu seemed to have taken to licking at the door, Erza hacked giant chunks of gingerbread with her sword before swallowing them virtually whole, Gray pulled off pear drops and gumdrops by the dozen, and Master and Happy were gnawing at the window panes.

Then suddenly the door creaked open and a hideous old lady, with grey grizzly hair, five warts on her face alone, and several missing teeth, grinned down at them.

(Happy and Lucy were not ashamed to admit they screamed but that didn't stop Lucy from kicking Natsu for laughing at them later.)

"Why hello dears," the old woman crooned, "why don't you come in for a nice meal instead of eating my window panes?"

Everyone gasped and dropped the food they had been gnawing at in excitement and surprise. "Really?! They all cried out.

"Why of course!" the old lady clutched her chest in a mothering way. "We can't have children starve! Come in, come in," she herded Gray, Natsu, Erza, and Lucy into her house (Lucy would swear the wallpaper was made out of sugar paper and the rugs were candyfloss), but when Master and Happy approached the door, she pushed them back. "Not you. I don't like old men or cats."

Master and Happy ended up sitting in a corner of the clearing as a dark blue depressing aura leaked out of them.

"Who cares what that old biddy thinks?"

"Aye," Happy said mournfully.

Lucy soon found herself seated at a table made of chocolate by the smell of it surrounded by large plates of fatty food, from roasts, to fried food, to sweet things, that all seemed to be drizzled in melted butter. "Don't you find it all a bit suspicious?" Lucy asked her friends as they gulped down the food quickly as if it might vanish before they get the chance to eat it all. Lucy's stomach growled fiercely in reply to her friends' silence. "You know what?" she said more to herself than anyone else. "Never mind, food!"

Lucy was in the middle of enjoying a really, really, good melted cheese and bacon sandwich when Natsu reached to grab a chicken drumstick the exact same time Gray did. They held on to either side of it and glowered at one another.

"Drop it Flame Brain!" Gray hissed.

"You drop it," Natsu snarled back, "Ice Pop!"

"You!"

Lucy ducked away as the tug of war between Natsu and Gray grew out of hand. Suddenly the chicken drumstick flew out between their hands and smacked Erza in the back of her head causing her to drop her cake, startled and in sudden pain.

Erza's cake fall onto the floor with into a pile of spongy mush. There is a deadly silence as Gray and Natsu suddenly clung to one another for dear life instead of fighting. Lucy watched in horror as Erza transformed into a terrifying scaled armour and pulled out a gigantic sword.

"YOU BASTARDS DARE?!"

"WE'RE SORRY!" Gray and Natsu wailed. "IT'S ALL HIS FAULT! MY FAULT?! DON'T YOU MEAN YOUR FAULT! WHY YOU-"

Lucy face palmed as Natsu and Gray broke out into another fight in front of Erza. This meant no mercy for them now as Erza tackled them to the ground. There was sudden flashes of magical power and before Lucy knew it she soon found herself standing in the remains of the gingerbread house.

"MY HOME!" the old lady howled distraughtly. "YOU-YOU! OUT! GET OUT! THE MEAT YOU LOT WOULD PRODUCE WOULDN'T BE WORTH THE DAMAGE MY HOUSE HAD TO ENDURE! I DON'T KNOW WHY I WOULD WANT TO EAT YOU ANYWAY! TOO FROZEN!" she pointed at Gray. "TOO HOT!" at Natsu this time. "AND TOO BITTER!" she surprisingly pointed at Erza.

"B-b-bitter?!" Erza stuttered

Lucy was startled to see Erza suddenly start rocking in a corner distressed that someone found her bitter. Not that there was much she could do about it, the old lady suddenly patted her warmly on the hand. "Not you dear," she said reassuringly. "You're perfect. All juicy and sweet. You can stay with me, I have no doubt-"

"Nope!" Natsu interrupted as he grabbed hold of Lucy and yanked her away from the old hag. "She's mine!"

Lucy would have argued but to be honest she would much rather get away from that creepy old woman and into the safety of her guild as soon as possible. The others ran behind them as the old hag had apparently started her screeching mere seconds after Natsu took off with Lucy. It was another three hours when Natsu turned round, blinked stupidly at everyone and asked;

"Wait, did that old biddy say she was going to eat us?!"

"…You're an idiot."