Summary: Teasing Kinana about her sexy prisoner and their visit rights goes several steps too far.

Pairings: Implied Kinana/Cobra, Natsu/Lucy, Erza/Jellal, Juvia/Gray, Gajeel/Levy, and some general friendship feels within the guild.

YouTube Prompt: A Natsu/Lucy video to 'Shut Your Eyes' by Snow Patrol because the lyrics are similar to some of the adventures Natsu takes Lucy to. First verse talks about a snowy mountain XD.

Kinana returned from her monthly visit from the prison with an empty basket at hand. This was typical for anyone who had spent a day with a Dragon Slayer and a picnic basket, even little Wendy put away more food in a meal than ten Fairy Tail members did in a day, but for the boys it was still really weird.

"I don't know why you visit that arsehole," Natsu grumbled, "he's such an arrogant know it all. He's worse than Gray."

"Exact – hey! What was that you bastard?!"

"You heard me!"

"Ara! Ara!" Mirajane said as she smiled at Kinana, "how is your boyfriend, Kinana-Chan?"

"He's not my boyfriend!" Kinana flushed. "We're just really good friends."

"Right," Cana drawled, "and I'm a virgin. Come on girl, it's nothing to be ashamed of!"

"Cana is right," Erza nodded, "Cobra has proven himself to be a good man despite his past. He has done a good deed and continues to work on redeeming himself from his sins. I like that in a man."

"Oh I bet you do," Mira smirked, "I bet you were just like Kinana visiting Jellal in prison and giving him his conjugal visits."

"C-c-conjugal?"

"Erza!"

Lucy and Juvia had only just caught Erza in time as she passed out, blood spurting from her nose, at the perverted thoughts that raced through her head. The thoughts of Jellal being chained down beneath her had been overwhelming…

…And disturbing for Lucy who heard Erza muttering it to herself.

"It's not like that!" Kinana protested.

"I think the lady doth protest too much," Cana cackled wickedly, "we all know how sexy prisoners are. We all like a bad boy and there's nothing kinkier than having him in chains and behind a cell door to play with."

Kinana looked like she was going to die right there and then on the spot. "Cana is right," Levy agreed, "there's something really sexy about a prisoner trying to redeem himself. Especially when he's all tough and rough…."

"Levy-Chan!" Lucy cried out worriedly. "You're drooling!"

(Meanwhile Lily noticed Gajeel had stopped eating his metal and was instead beginning to fashion what looked like handcuffs out of them. "What are you doing?" he asked.

"Making some chains," Gajeel grunted, "she's wants a sexy prisoner? Well she's got one!"

Lily really wished he hadn't asked.)

"Juvia can just picture Gray-sama as a sexy prisoner," Juvia's eyes went wide and glazed at the very thought, "he would be naked, and chained up, and all Juvia's. No one else's. Not even Love Rival would be able to have him."

"I think Gray is already a prisoner," Cana whispered to Mira, "a prisoner of Juvia's."

"Come on, Kinana," Laki whined, "you have to tell us what he is like! Is he as rough as he looks like? He looks like he'd like it rough."

"For the last time!" Kinana burst out having lost all patience and tolerance to her embarrassment. "Erik and I do not have conjugal visits!"

"What's a conjugal visit?"

There is a deathly silence at that as everyone looked at Kinana. As she realised what exactly she had just screamed out of her mouth and what exactly Natsu, being the sweet and oblivious boy he was, had just asked, she turned a deadly white, and the flushed as red as Erza's hair, before she muttered something and dashed off.

"Whoa," Wakaba wolf-whistled. "I wouldn't mind having a conjugal visit from her. You know what I mean?"

Macao, very rare for him, merely shot his best friend a dirty look in reply. "That doesn't answer my question!" Natsu whined childishly. "What is a conjugal visit?"

"Well," Cana smirked, "it's when a guy and a girl are really good friends, and they visit one another and do nothing but spend it in bed together."

"Oh," Natsu blinked innocently. He then turned to Lucy and flashed her a radiant grin. "Hey, Luce! Let's have a conjugal visit tonight! I wanna sleep in your bed again."

"LUCY KICK!"

Kinana had to admit; seeing Natsu fly into a stone wall did sort of cheer her up…but not as much as her sexy prisoner (well he was!) did when she went to see him again the next month.