Summary: There's nothing that Gajeel wouldn't do for his best friend. Even if it means making people think weird things about him. Plot inspired by Friends.

Pairings: Gajeel/Juvia friendship, Gajeel/Lily friendship, Juvia/Gray, Gajeel/Gray, and usual family/friendship feels of the guild.

Author's Note: For FlamingGinger06, who asked for some Gajeel/Juvia friendship stuff.

"Oi, Rain-woman, what are you doing?"

It was a normal evening in Magnolia which meant Gajeel was bored as fuck and took a walk to do something over than growl over his metal ("And keep annoying me," Lily said as he firmly kicked Gajeel out of his own house). It was then when he found Juvia, dishevelled, giddy, and obviously insane, as she teetered on the top of a wobbly ladder and peered into someone's house.

"Shh!" Juvia hissed. "Gray-sama is undressing!"

"How the fuck is that any different from the rest of the day?!"

"Hush!" Juvia gestured wildly down at him. "You don't understand Gajeel-kun! Gray-sama is a little piece of heaven carved onto this earth for Juvia to admire. She must watch his beauty grow each second of the day in order for him to be properly admired!"

"Right," Gajeel grunted. He was far too used for Juvia's flowery, girly, insanity for his own good. He ought to find Salamander and beat the crap out of him, that'll solve everything. "I'll leave you to it then."

It was then when the wobbly ladder gave in under Juvia's excited little jumps and began to fall backwards. Gajeel moved quickly, purely on instinct, as he pushed the ladder back, leaped up on it, and pushed Juvia safely against the wall, which of course, caused him to smack his face against the glass window of Gray's bedroom.

Gray opened the window and blinked at him. "Gajeel, dude," he said woozily, still drunk from his drinking competition with Cana. "What the fuck?

"Erm," Gajeel looked down at Juvia who shook her head furiously and looked at him with her wide, tearful, blue eyes, and pouting lips….oh fuck. "I just wanted to see….your bedroom," he lied poorly. "Yeah, I wanted to see your bedroom."

Gray stared at him, horrified. "Right," he said disbelievingly, "well…you've seen it now."

"So I have."

"Goodbye then."

"I'll see you tomorrow."

"God, I hope not!"

And for the first time in years, Gray actually closed his bedroom curtains which left a very disappointed Juvia in need of comforting. Gajeel ended up spending his night eating ice cream in Juvia's far too clean bedroom and being chased out by a furious Erza for being in the girls' dormitories late at night.

Honestly…he was better off staring at that weird black mark on his bedroom wall.

FTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFT

Gajeel, Lily, and Juvia were about to enter the guild building after an extremely tiring mission (made even more tiring by Juvia's wailing about not being with Gray and then insisting on getting her new set of photos developed….which of course she spent most of the battle drooling over instead of being at all helpful), when Gray was suddenly thrown out through the door by Natsu and crashed into the ex-Phantom pair. Juvia immediately dropped her photos into a puddle of mud much to her distress, and Gray stumbled to the ground and helped begin picking them up.

He took one look at them and shuddered. "Are those photos of me?!" he burst out terrified. Juvia nodded weakly and Gajeel grunted. Lily decided not even bother answering such a stupid question. "Are they yours?!" Gray then demanded.

But he wasn't looking at Juvia…..

….he was looking at Gajeel. He was accusing Gajeel of taking a photo of Gray sleeping, of Gray brushing his teeth, of Gray stretching in the nude, of Gray….well you get the picture. Gajeel was about to retort and punch the bastard for suggesting it but he caught Juvia's pleading look, and this time she had her hands clasped in a begging, prayer, gesture, and her lips trembled….

"…Yes."

There is a beat of silence. Lily face palmed, Juvia smiled radiantly, and Gay exploded.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!"

Gajeel knew the answer to that one. He couldn't fucking say no to his best friend, especially when she was nearly crying, that was what was wrong with him.

FTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFT

Incidences like this kept happening. Juvia was an insane, obsessed, fangirl, of course they were going to keep happening. Gajeel was always there to ensure that no one (apart from maybe Bunny Girl, Shrimp, and the gay green haired one, 'cause they were all too smart for their own good) would know it was Juvia doing things like hoarding Gray's underwear, or touching his naked back, or spying on him in the bathroom….it was fucking costing Gajeel's reputation but it was that or Juvia crying, really crying, and he knew which one of the two was the lesser evil.

That is until one day he arrived in the guild to find everyone standing there like their best friend died and they all held letters in their hands….oh not this again!

"Gajeel we need to talk," Mirajane said firmly, "You seem to have a problem."

"Is this a fucking intervention?" Gajeel snarled. "Again?!"

"Again?" Lily questioned.

"Don't ask," Juvia advised serenely, "It was not a good time in Gajeel-kun's life."

After three weeks of being scratched to death by cats, forced into community service for kidnapping all the local cats, and scaring Happy and Charle with his 'hungry look', the entirety of Fairy Tail sat him down for an intervention of his obsession of owning a cat. It didn't end well. But then that was the norm for most Fairy Tail interventions (after all Cana still drank three barrels a day, Gray still kept stripping, Erza still got arrested for her assault, Laxus was still a moody shit, Levy had yet to quit her book addiction, and the less said about Mirajane's matchmaking, the better). In the end everyone was saved by the fact they ended up in Edolas and Gajeel found Lily, but now there was a more pressing problem at hand.

"You seem to have an obsession with Gray," Erza said bluntly, "You have been caught spying on him, owning countless of photos of him, and even hoarding his underwear. We need to discuss this problem, find a resolution, and before poor Gray loses his mind."

"Like fuck I-" Gajeel cut himself off at the sight of Juvia who stood behind everyone else. Once again her hands were clasped, her eyes were wide and pleading, and she was mouthing silent pleas and promises. "Yes." He changed his tone and looked down at the ground sullenly. "Yes. I have a thing for Gray," he said in a flat, dry, monotone, and heavily sarcastic, voice. "I think he is, super-hot and sexy, and I would ravish him if possible."

"Ewwwwwwwwwwww!" Gay whined childishly. Fuck, why did the rain woman like this guy? He was far too pathetic for the likes of her! "Make him stop!"

And then started the three most gruelling hours of Gajeel's life as each and every member started to tell him why his obsession was 'wrong' and how to love properly, and how to show it properly, and how to learn to take a rejection. Honestly all this shit should be said to Juvia, she was the one with a mountain of Gray dolls but does anyone pay any attention to that? Noooooooooooooooooooooo. Morons.

The only reason Gajeel escaped was because Salamander said something completely stupid that offended the naked icicle, and the two began brawling which turned into an all-out guild brawl, and Gajeel was able to slink out with Lily unnoticed.

"Can't believe I did that."

"Neither can I," Lily agreed with a solemn head shake. "You're a good friend Gajeel….a fucking moron but a good friend."