Chapter 20
Sakura blinked once.
A torrent of emotions swept over her.
Guilt, shame, relief, happiness, anger, and sadness all came over her like a tidal wave, rooting her in place in the living room as her mind went into overdrive about which to prioritize. Before her was Sasuke, looking tired, but he seemed unharmed. Behind her stood Itachi—she could see Sasuke's mismatched eyes drawn to his older brother—Itachi, whom she desperately needed to talk to about what the hell just happened in the kitchen.
"Nii-san," Sasuke greeted, dropping his backpack before closing the door.
"Sasuke," Itachi said, standing beside Sakura. A glance from the corner of her eye told her Itachi was busy observing his younger brother just like she was, checking for any signs of injury, before he seemed to relax a little. He stepped toward Sasuke, not looking at Sakura. "I'm glad you're back."
Sasuke nodded, snapping open his cloak with his one hand. "Sarada?"
"I just put her to bed," Itachi said, sliding his hands into his pockets. "How was your mission?"
"Successful, in the end." Sasuke shrugged off the cloak. He caught it and hung it on the coat rack, dark eyes finding Sakura once more.
Itachi understood and flashed a smile. "I was about to leave," he said, walking toward the front door. He laid a hand on Sasuke's shoulder and said something quiet enough for Sakura to miss, before turning to her, face guarded. "Good night, Sakura."
"Good night," she managed. The dull click of the door, followed by Itachi's muffled footsteps, seemed to shake her from her stupor. "Sarada might still be awake if you want to see her. She fakes falling asleep to read a little these days."
A tired smile came to Sasuke's face as he nodded. He made his way to her, biting the tips of his fingerless glove to free his hand, then pushed his fingers into her hair, tilting her head upward to him. "I'm sorry I'm late."
"Did you get lost on the path of life?" Sakura whispered.
"Something like that," he said, equally quiet.
It was easy to let herself be pulled into his body—his powerful arm wrapped around her, and it instantly felt like home again. He smelled of sweat and musk, but also intensely familiar, as he dipped his head to hers and kissed her. Their lips touched, meeting each other in slow, soft kisses that had her forgetting all about his promise to return or never to leave. For a moment, she could even forget all about Itachi's body pressed against her and the dark attraction in his eyes, but then Sasuke drew back and broke the spell.
"Can I see her?"
"Of course," Sakura said, brushing at a tear in the corner of her eye. He noticed, bringing his hand up to cup her cheek as he leaned forward to kiss her forehead.
"I'm sorry I'm late."
"I know you are."
Sasuke's smile fell off his face, but he took her hand into his, guiding her with him to Sarada's room. A numbness overcame her as she looked at her husband's back, remembering how she had compared him to his brother just hours earlier. The guilt gnawed at her, causing her stomach to do flip-flops until she was ready to hurl. She swallowed hard, inhaled, and followed Sasuke into Sarada's room.
Her daughter had, very predictably, taken a book and brought it to her bed. At the sound of her door opening, Sarada had slid the book beneath her pillow and pretended to be sleeping. Despite it all, a grin tugged at Sakura's cheeks as she observed her daughter laying in a starfish position in the bed, snoring for effect.
"She's grown, but her acting is up there with Naruto's," Sasuke remarked dryly.
Sarada's eyes flew open at the sound of her father's voice. She bolted upright with a gasp, black hair a mess as she blinked at Sakura, then at Sasuke, before rushing off the bed and leaping into his arms. "Papa!" she exclaimed, climbing him like a tree.
"I'm home," Sasuke said, lifting his daughter with ease.
"Welcome home," Sarada answered, giving Sasuke a big hug. Her nose twitched, then she pulled back. "Papa, you stink."
An amused sound slipped from Sasuke. "I just came back."
"You should take a bath."
Sakura giggled at that. "You too?" Sasuke asked her, looking over his shoulder at her.
"She's right," Sakura shrugged, smiling at Sarada as she beamed at her father. "You smell."
"Where were you, papa?" Sarada asked, eyes wide as she watched Sasuke. She placed her hands on either side of his neck, scrunching the fabric of her shirt in her palms as though she feared he might vanish again if she were to let go.
"At the end of the world, Sarada," Sasuke answered. He balanced her on his cut-off arm and stroked her cheeks. "But I'm back now."
"Not leaving again?"
"Not for a while."
Sarada's lip began to tremble as she looked at Sasuke, fists clenching harder around his shirt, then she nodded vehemently as Sasuke pressed his forehead against hers. She sniffed a few times, further tightening her hold on him, softly sobbing in her father's arm.
The sadness on Sarada's face cut Sakura as Sasuke turned and sat down with his daughter in the play-corner of her room, stroking her hair as he whispered words of comfort. Sakura looked to the ceiling, willing the tears back into her tear ducts before joining the rest of her tiny family. As her daughter let out her heartache, Sakura rubbed her back, eyes on Sasuke as if to say: ' this is what happens when you stay away for such a long time without visiting .'
Sasuke met her gaze, purple and midnight contrite as he wordlessly nodded at Sakura, tucking Sarada deeper into his body.
Finally, Sarada's sobs seemed to abate. She hiccuped as the tears stopped, pulled back to look at her father with red eyes, and rubbed her tear-stained cheeks against his.
They stayed like this for the longest time, bathed in the moonlight that slanted through Sarada's window, silence reigning, until Sarada's breathing evened out. Sasuke signaled to Sakura that she was asleep, and Sakura stood, watching as he kissed Sarada's forehead once more before laying her exhausted little body into the bed, covering her with a sheet.
They snuck out of the room and made their way to the bathroom, neither of them speaking. Sakura clicked on the light behind them and closed the door, reaching over to the tub to open the faucet while Sasuke slowly shed his clothes. They didn't speak as he unbuttoned his lilac vest or when he pulled at the edge of his purple shirt, revealing his upper body. Her eyes trailed over the new set of scars on his chest and back—just a few, but for someone as capable as Sasuke, they spoke volumes. His pants came off next, followed by his boxers, until he stood naked in front of her. He reached for the wrapping around his cut-off arm, pulling at the knot and rolling it off until he deposited the filthy looking bandage into the tiny bin beneath the sink.
"End of the world, huh?" Sakura asked as he stepped under the shower and turned on the faucet. She watched as he wetted his hair and body and reached for the soap. With a sad smile, she swatted his hand away, then signaled for him to take a seat on the stool while she squirted some shampoo in her palm before massaging it into his scalp.
"Country of Moon," Sasuke said, exhaling with pleasure as she raked her fingers over his head and cleaned his hair. "I was chasing a lead regarding Kaguya."
"What about her?"
"Naruto and I figured she might not be the only one of her species," Sasuke said, hissing as her nail caught on a stitch. Frowning, Sakura parted his hair to find a cut on the bottom of his skull, just above his neck. "I ran into some of her friends."
"Whoever stitched you up did a horrible job," Sakura said with a sigh. "You're lucky your hair hides it. Hold still."
He listened to her instructions as she molded chakra to her fingertips to form a tiny scalpel. She cut through the stitches, tugging them free with care, then pressed her fingers against the now-open wound and stitched the edges with chakra. Satisfied to see she still had it, Sakura continued with his hair. "Friends?" she asked.
"Hn," he replied, taking a sponge into his hand to clean the grime and sweat from his body. "More Ootsutsuki, I think. I didn't get too far."
Sakura nodded, picking up the nozzle to rinse out his hair. "I've never heard of the Country of Moon," she said, combing her fingers through his hair. He tipped his head back, mismatched eyes looking back and forth between hers.
"It's to the west of the Earth Country," he said, voice softer than a whisper. "A tiny country located where land meets the ocean."
Sakura nodded. "And you think they're as dangerous as Kaguya?"
"Yes."
"Okay," Sakura said, proud of herself for remaining calm. This is what he told her when he returned for Sarada's first birthday—they expected Kaguya not to be alone and were always on the lookout for more threats. A rogue faction here or there could not break the peace the Five Kage had kept. Another Kaguya though? One was enough to nearly end all of them. At least this was a good reason for him to be gone.
' Keep telling yourself that. Sasuke isn't going to be around forever, ' Inner spoke to her, shaking her head as she crossed her arms. ' Are we going to hope every Uchiha manifests a Rinnegan so that they can be this world's savior? A world filled with strong shinobi and only one person can help stop these threats? Stop fooling yourself .'
"How—" Sasuke struggled to ask.
"Same old," Sakura said, finished washing his hair. She watched as he took the shower head from her, stood, and rinsed himself of soap and suds. As Sasuke pushed his wet hair from his eyes while cleaning between his toes, the thought struck her that she never really knew how much she missed him until he returned. When he was gone, it was a dull kind of pain—it hurt every time she poked at the wound, but if she gritted her teeth and paid it no heed, it didn't exist, at least not until she remembered it.
Having him right in front of her felt like someone reopening the wound and pouring salt in it. She swilled the bitterness that surged up her throat for a moment, relishing it, before swallowing it down once more. Some husbands were home all the time to help take care of their wives and children. Sasuke simply wasn't one of them—he was out taking care of everyone. The sooner she accepted that, the less it would sting.
Sasuke, satisfied that he was squeaky clean, looked up at her, his handsome face reading her every emotion like a book. Sakura sniffed. How unfair that he could spend years away but still know her as well as he knew himself. His eyes softened, the Rinnegan stealing her attention as always, then he ducked his head to look her in the eye. "I'm sorry."
"Don't tell me you're sorry," Sakura whispered, shaking her head as she averted her eyes from his all-knowing ones. "Don't promise me things you can't make happen. Just..." She hid her face in her palms. "Do you remember the day you left? The first time?"
He remained quiet.
"I told you—"
"That I taught you that solitude is painful. And that if I were gone, it would be the same as being alone," Sasuke said softly. She lifted her head to look at him. "I remember."
"If this is what it is, seeing you just once a year, then tell me. Don't apologize to me, don't give me hope that next time things might be different. Be honest with me."
Sasuke stepped closer to her, his naked body feverishly hot. She felt his heat radiating from him as he cupped her face, fingers entwining with the hair at the base of her skull. "Once this mission is over, I'm not going anywhere, Sakura."
"I thought you completed it," Sakura said with a sad smile.
"I completed the reconnaissance," Sasuke clarified, thumb stroking over her cheek. "We'll need to see what the next step will be. Waging war on a country on the other side of the world is useless."
"So you're staying?"
"For now, yes."
"But you'll leave, eventually?"
"... Yes."
Sakura nodded, eyes skating back and forth between his. "Answer me something honestly, Sasuke." He remained quiet, awaiting her question. "Will there ever be a time when both your heart and body will stay with us?"
As he moved to open his mouth, Sakura pressed a finger against his lips. "No. Don't answer that, not right now. Think about it, and when you're sure, let me know? Just… be with me tonight."
Something opaque flitted behind purple and midnight, but Sasuke nodded before slanting his lips over hers. She leaned into him, the touch of his mouth reigniting her entire body when it had felt frozen for the past hour. She draped her arms over his shoulders, allowing him to lift her until her legs wrapped around his nude hips. He reached over, turned off the water, then walked out of the bathroom with her, crossing into the bedroom. He kissed his way down her neck to her chest, helping her remove her sweater, and her bra, calloused fingers rough against her skin. She adored the familiarity of his strong frame covering her as he placed her on the bed, sighing as his tongue found her distended nub.
He looked up, that shy smile he always wore when he was about to make love to her in place as he admired her, trailing kisses all the way down until he reached the apex between her legs. She allowed him to strip her of her pants and underwear, and then his agile tongue lapped at her center as she held onto him, fingers tightening in his hair.
Later, as she lay on top of him with him softened but still lodged within her, Sakura looked up at his satisfied face. He cracked open an eye and stared at her through his pitch black lashes, purple memorizing every part of her. "I love you," she whispered, kneading her hands into the muscles of his shoulders.
He brought his arm around her back and pulled her into his body. "I love you," he replied, and she knew that he meant every word. Sasuke loved her and Sarada. There was no doubt in her mind about that.
As he closed his eye again, Sakura laid her head on his chest and listened to his heartbeat, suddenly reminded of the fact that she had listened to his brother's heart in the exact same way, not half a day ago.
' If it wasn't for the two of you, I would probably live life day-by-day, going out on missions and spending most of my time outside of Konoha. Because of you, I felt like this was my place, and I found some peace .'
She remembered the soft way Itachi had looked at her and Sarada, how much they meant to him and how hard but honest it had been to convey that to them. Then she recalled the dark look he gave her in the kitchen, and her whole body seized up, guilt a white-hot flame in the pit of her stomach.
' I need to talk to him ,' she thought, squeezing her eyes shut, hoping to remove the mental image. ' Tomorrow .'