Chapter 22

Upon arrival back home, the first thing Sakura stumbled on was Sasuke's backpack and weapon's pouch, ready at the door. For a moment, she considered whether it was still his pack from the previous day, until she spotted Kusanagi propped against the wall. She stood still, eyes trimmed on the worn-down blue, his black cloak laid out over it, hand still on the doorknob before she released it. Her heart felt like it had dropped into her stomach as she kicked her shoes off and stepped into the living room, finding Sasuke and Sarada at the kitchen table.

He was eating some rice crackers while she attempted to read a story to him— The Princess and the Knight , it seemed. Sasuke's eyes found Sakura's, heavy with an emotion she did not care for, as she forced a smile to her face and walked to her family.

"Mama!" Sarada exclaimed.

"Hey, kiddo," Sakura said, caressing the top of her head. "Did you have a good time with papa?"

Sarada balled her fists and nodded vehemently, a big grin lighting her face. Keeping a brave face, Sakura matched her daughter's smile, pushing down the nausea that threatened to overcome her. "Good," she said, making her escape into the kitchen to pour herself some juice.

The cold orange juice seemed to cool her head just a little—between the almost-kiss with Itachi and Sasuke on the verge of leaving less than twenty-four hours after arrival, life was not being kind to her, and her brain was frying itself trying to keep up with the developments. The scrape of a chair alerted her to Sasuke's imminent arrival, no doubt to tell her what she already knew. He stepped into the kitchen not a second later, looking over his shoulder to Sarada, then Sakura.

"Don't."

"Sakura—"

"Don't be apologetic." Her voice was colder than she meant it to be. "Just go."

Sasuke took a deep breath, then advanced to her. "Naruto called for a Kage Summit," he said, ducking his head to look at her. "He asked me to accompany him and debrief the Kages myself. I'll be back in a few days."

"Of course you will." She finished her drink and placed her glass into the sink. "When are you leaving?"

"Now. Naruto and Shikamaru are meeting me at the gate."

She crossed her arms and leaned against the kitchen counter, nodding as she looked past him to where Sarada sat, coloring something in a sketchbook. "Did you tell her?"

"Not yet."

Sakura stared at the tile of her kitchen floor for a long while, wondering when the blue in the pattern had begun to fade as she tried to calm herself down. Sasuke was leaving, and she had almost kissed Sasuke's brother, and she was desperate for a drink right about now, and Sarada would be upset enough for the both of them when they broke the news anyway. "Alright." She met Sasuke's eyes with acceptance. "Where is the Summit?"

"Cloud."

She calculated. Kage Summits usually lasted around three days—there was the mandatory diplomatic dinner the day before, the actual Summit, then drinks the day after. A trip to Cloud took seven days at least. This trip would take him away from Konoha for the next two to three weeks.

' At least he'll be back in time for our birthdays ,' she thought to herself.

"If I asked you to, would you stay?"

Sasuke stilled, eyes searching hers. "Yes."

She tasted the sincerity in his words and knew that if she were to seriously ask him, he would. The thought filled her with both joy and melancholy. He would only stay if she told him she wanted him to. She stroked her brows to distract herself from the sadness that welled up at the thought, then said: "Let's tell her."

"Sakura—"

"Stay if you want to, go if you need to." Sakura held her hands up. "I asked you to consider my question. Give me an answer when you return."

Itachi opened the door at the first knock. Light surprise filtered through his dark eyes, but he managed to hide it well enough as she lifted the bottles of sake she had bought and flashed a smile. "Sasuke left again, and I really need a drink and a friend." She bit her lip, searching for words. "I know things are weird between us right now, but..."

Something inside her broke as she looked at him, tears suddenly streaming freely over her cheeks as her knees buckled beneath her weight. In an instant, Itachi was there, wrapping an arm around her for support as he brought her inside and put her down on the entryway step, then crouched to remove her shoes. Once they were off, he lifted her into his arms and walked with her to the sofa, where he sat with her in his lap.

She wrapped her arms around him, clutching his shirt in her hands as she sobbed, letting go of all the sadness and frustration and guilt that had wrapped itself around her like a vice. Part of her was embarrassed for him to see her like this—but there was a much bigger part that knew she could always be herself around him; he was the one person she didn't have to hide her sadness from. He held her without speaking, caressing her shoulder soothingly while letting her cry until there were no more tears and she sat in his arms, admiring the way moonlight fell onto his living room floor.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, voice hoarse from crying.

"Why are you apologizing?"

"Complicating things."

"Ah." He remained quiet. "I fear I am also guilty of that."

She let out a soft chuckle as she fingered the fabric of his shirt. A part of her wished to stay in his arms for a little longer—he was always warm, solid, and comforting. But she knew she couldn't. Already, her stomach was doing flip-flops just holding him like this, a heat radiating from where he touched her shoulder. Would she ever be able to go back to hugging him with none of the excitement? Or would this attraction hang between them for the rest of their lives?

' Don't be ridiculous ,' she told herself. ' You got over other crushes. You'll get over this. '

Strengthened by the thought, Sakura slid her arms from his shoulders and pulled back. Her breath hitched in her throat at the sight of Itachi's soft eyes as he examined her.

"Are you alright?"

"As fine as I can be," Sakura said, laughing nervously as she tucked her hair behind her ear and scuttled back on the sofa. Every touch of his skin was like it set her on fire, and the further she distanced herself from temptation, the better she felt. Gritting her teeth, she resolved to get a grip, then eyed the bottles of sake on the table. Itachi got the hint and retrieved some glasses.

"Where is Sasuke?"

"Kage Summit," Sakura answered, accepting her glass. She downed it before he filled his own, then held it out for a refill. Wordlessly, he poured her another glass, lifting an eyebrow as he considered her answer.

"The next one isn't due until the summer."

"A special Summit on Naruto's request. Sasuke found something in the Country of Night, or Moon, or—" She waved with her hand. "And they went off to Cloud so Sasuke could report to the Kages himself." She paused, frowned at her glass, then drank. "And so Naruto can have his best friend with him while he travels."

"Do you resent him?"

"It is what—"

"Naruto-sama."

She stilled, the glass halfway to her lips. "Why would I?"

Itachi folded one knee under him and looked at her, observant as always as he mulled over his words like he was prone to do. There was no heat to be found anywhere on his face, no attraction, no insane pull. For a moment, Sakura realized they could go back to what they were—platonic, with no crazy inclinations like wanting to kiss one's brother-in-law. Unbidden, her eyes trailed down to his lips until she cut them back to a safe spot on his cheeks and forced them to stay there.

"There is a bond between the Seventh and Sasuke that differs greatly from your marriage to Sasuke, but is important nonetheless."

Sakura blinked. "Yes."

"You both, and Kakashi-senpai, meant a lot to Sasuke and helped him find his way back to Konoha, when I—" He paused. "Couldn't. But Naruto-sama was there with him from the start and until the end. They were both outcasts when they were younger, and both needed to find their way as adolescents and adults. There are some things he might not be able to share with you, but he might work out with Naruto-sama by his side."

She stared into the clear liquid of her glass. "I... I asked him before he left whether there would be a time when both his heart and body would remain with us. And I asked him to think about the answer."

Itachi nodded. "And that is what he is doing."

She huffed. "Right after he arrived after being absent for over a year? He just up and leaves again to think about an answer?"

"I called my brother 'foolish' when I was playing my part, but he's anything but. Sasuke recognizes the strain he puts on your family, and if I know him, he will take your question seriously." He smiled at her. "Even if that takes him away for a little longer."

Sakura snorted. "I can't believe he'd rather talk to Naruto than..."

"You?"

She nodded.

"You're the person he's hurting. Naruto is someone he understands and who understands him too. Sometimes it's easier to confide in someone who is further removed from the situation."

"Like crying in someone's arms?" she quipped.

"I had never considered that."

Sakura let out a soft laugh. "You're such a liar."

"I'm always honest with you."

The sincerity in his words and the smile on his lips caused warmth to tint her cheeks red. She set her chin in her hands and studied the profile of his face as he leaned forward to refill his cup, trying to imagine when exactly he had begun to feel attracted to her. She licked her lips, sake and excitement thrumming through her veins. She knew full well the line of thought was a risky one. Passing a hand over her brow, she willed it to the back of her mind—it was okay to think of someone like that when the crush wasn't actually reciprocated and it was just a fantasy. What she had with Itachi was far more dangerous if left unchecked.

' Who says he even has a crush? He said he was attracted to you, ' Inner pointed out. ' Not that he was about to propose to you .'

' Go back to wherever you came from and be quiet ,' she thought.

"Talking to ' Inner' Sakura?" Itachi interrupted.

Her eyes widened. "Wh—"

"I've noticed since you mentioned her," Itachi said, leaning an arm over the couch's back. "You tend to frown a little from time to time, as if you're concentrating hard on something. It doesn't happen when you're just thinking." He reached out, thumb passing between her eyebrows in a gentle caress that sent a fluttery jolt through her. It traveled downward to her knees, where she felt her joints weaken despite being seated as his finger slid over her forehead, over her Byakugou seal, before dropping away.

"Oh gods," Sakura said, ducking her head to hide her reddened face. She peeked at him through the pink curtain of her hair. "You can tell?"

He laughed, sonorous and warm, the sound of it seeping into her very skin, setting her aflame. Her breath seemed to freeze in her chest. Suddenly, she realized again how treacherous the situation truly was—they were alone, in near dark, drinking and laughing, and he was this close to questioning her further about something not even Sasuke knew—the only person who knew about her Inner Persona was Ino, and that was only because she got the crap beaten out of her by Inner enforcing her strict ' 2 people, 1 mind-only' policy.

"Of course."

"I never should have told you," Sakura mumbled. She took another long drink from her glass, finding that the key to acting normally around Itachi was to have just the right amount of alcohol in her system to give her enough courage to deal with her attraction to him.

"I find your candor refreshing."

"It's embarrassing. That's why I never told anyone."

"Never?"

She shook her head and drank. "Not even Sasuke. Ino knows because she tried her Mind Transfer on me during the Chuunin exams. Took a while for her to treat me normally—" Her voice trailed off at the sight of him.

The sudden change in atmosphere was palpable. Where the mood was light and calm just moments before, Itachi now leaned forward just a bit more, his eyes searching hers as his brow pinched lightly in thought. "Ino met Inner Sakura?"

Sakura nearly slammed her glass back on the table. "And that's enough storytime with Sakura for today."

"No, I'm interested."

"And I'm embarrassed."

"I see."

He sounded vaguely disappointed, and Sakura found that the last thing she wanted to do was disappoint him. She sighed and pushed a hand into her hair. "Do you swear not to tell anyone?"

"Of course."

"Not even Sasuke?"

"I gave you my word."

"Right," Sakura exhaled. "I've had this... Inner Sakura in my head since childhood. She's been there forever and is basically 'me', only she's not 'me'; she's the sort of person who says anything that comes to mind without a filter. And she just kind of grew in presence over the years." She drank and groused, "And sometimes she's really hard to get rid of." She lifted a finger in warning to him. "I am not crazy."

"I never said you were."

"It sounds crazy."

"It sounds as though you always kept quiet about your true feelings and that is how Inner Sakura manifested. Has she always been here?"

Surprised, she looked up to find him studying her. "She was gone for a time... Around the Akatsuki period and the war and..."

The unspoken between them lingered—if she was back now, what did that mean? Sakura bit her lip, unsure what to think or say, searching for the words.

"Not everyone is capable of always being honest with themselves, Sakura," Itachi said. His eyes looked a million miles away. "It's alright to have a second voice in your head expressing those truths, even if you yourself cannot voice them." He turned back to her, haunted by the past lives he had led and the sorrow that weighed on his shoulders. Without thinking, she laid her hand on his knee, but he stiffened beneath her touch. She withdrew her hand like he had burned her, the temptation swirling between them near unbearable.

"I can't imagine you having an ' Inner Itachi '," Sakura joked, tossing back her sake. She snickered at the thought of a black-and-white Inner Itachi yelling things like ' Shannaro !' at him from his subconscious, or perhaps something more manly. ' Dattebayo?'

Before she could burst into laughter thinking of Itachi using Naruto's catchphrase, she caught the look in Itachi's eyes. "What?" she asked innocently.

"Are you imagining it?"

"Inner Itachi?" She could barely get the words past her lips before she dissolved into laughter. He chuckled with her, the corners of his mouth dimpling. As her humor subsided, she bit her lip and reached toward the sake to top their drinks off.

"So what does she look like?"

"You are not letting this go, are you?"

"Call it fascination."

"I call it an invasion of privacy."

His smile faded. "Would you like me to stop?"

His voice had dropped lower, was more serious and soft, his dark eyes intense as he awaited her answer. She inhaled, inadvertently smelling his soap on his skin and realizing just how close they were sitting together. Itachi's knee rested so near to hers, if she moved her leg just a little, she would touch him. Her mind clouded, her own judgment battling it out with Inner as they both begged her to move and not to move, not to cross the boundaries any further than she already had.

"No," she said.

Then she moved her knee.

It touched his, and even that brief contact had her fingers trembling with a thrill of excitement. Perhaps it was because she knew nothing would, or could, happen. Perhaps it was the fact that she enjoyed seeing that unflappable exterior of Itachi's be pushed aside to reveal glimpses of the man he kept locked beneath the surface. She was aching to see it again. Or perhaps she reveled in the fact that she was flooded with things she hadn't felt in forever. Itachi's hand, which had relaxed on his thigh during the whole conversation, twitched now, and a deep, dark part of her was eager to know what was on his mind while outwardly, he looked calm as ever, sipping his sake as he nodded in acknowledgment.

"What do you think she looks like?"

"Like you."

She hummed behind her lips. "So why ask me?"

"No man becomes a fool until he stops asking questions."

She swirled her sake in her glass. "Have you always been this astute?"

"Some would say that."

"Some?"

"Yes." He drank. His pale cheeks had tinged the lightest color of pink she had ever seen, though she wasn't sure if it was the sake or the proximity to her. She watched as he absent-mindedly rubbed his thigh, the hand she had previously kept an eye on now near his knee.

"I think you're astute," Sakura whispered.

He chuckled. "You're very kind."

"It's better to be known for being 'astute' than 'aggressive'."

A studious expression came to his face. "Other than on the battlefield, I have never seen you aggressive."

"Just because I pound some trees into submission does not mean I am aggressive on the battlefield." She bit her lip and raised her glass to her mouth, hoping to cover the goofy grin.

"This from the woman who once bellowed at me to stand still during a spar?"

She choked on the sip of sake. "I did not bellow."

"As an alternative, I could suggest 'roar'."

"You're horrible."

"Another one of my qualities."

"Who knew?"

"Who indeed."

She waited for Itachi to finish the first bottle of sake, flipped her hair to the side, and set her chin in her hand. "Can I ask you something?"

"Of course."

"Something personal."

As he made himself comfortable, Sakura didn't miss the soft, slow slide of his leg against hers, acutely cognizant of the fact that they were moving toward each other. Adrenaline pumped through her veins, heart thumping heavily and quickly in her chest as the butterflies residing in her stomach went into a frenzy. She cut her eyes to his to see if she had permission, and when she found him waiting, her mouth dried as she uttered her question: "Why did you break up with Akari?"

Surprise flitted over his face for a split second, but settled quickly. "There was nothing to break up."

"You were seeing her regularly, weren't you?"

"I was." She wetted her lips in anticipation for more. He exhaled. "Akari was, is, a friend, and was sometimes a companion. But she... never was more than that."

"Why not?" Her voice was barely a whisper.

"There was friendship and an attraction." He paused, catching her gaze as he added in low, but measured words: "But there was no fascination."

His tone had darkened as he spoke, sending ripples of pleasure all over her skin to the parts of her body that were suddenly flaring back to life. In the ethereal moonlight that shone into his apartment and the faint light of his lamps, the darkness that teemed beyond Itachi's eyes seemed even more compelling than normal. Sakura expelled a shaky breath, warmth spreading over her chest. "Fascination?"

"Yes."

"What do you mean by 'fascination'?" She shook her head, trying to clear the frenetic haze that was her mind. "I mean, it's just another word for attra—"

"I know." He drank from his sake, his long fingers distracting her as he leaned toward the table and set his glass down, then turned back to her. He rested his arm on his thigh as he considered, his fingers brushing against her knee. Sakura was keenly aware of the fact that he had dropped his elbow next to hers, heat radiating even from one of the least sexual places of the human body, but apparently her mind had simply shut down for the night as it sent more shivers down her spine. He let out an amused sound, and for a horrifying second, she worried he had realized she was insanely attracted to his elbow, but it seemed something else entertained him. The corner of his mouth lifted on one side, showing off his white, perfect teeth, before he clamped them into his lip, shy for a moment, the corners of his eyes crinkling. "This is somewhat troubling to admit."

"Come on," Sakura goaded. "I told you about Inner Sakura. Repay the favor, Uchiha."

His fingers slid over his lips as he seemed lost in thought for a moment, and she wished fervently for the strength to pull herself away from the sight of his mouth—who knew Uchiha Itachi's bottom lip was slightly fuller than his upper lip, and that she found that exact shade of pink so enticing—"I wasn't consumed by her."

Suddenly feeling like the air was knocked from her lungs, she cut her eyes to his, finding him a breath away. Sakura could taste him simply by inhaling, which she did, until she was drunk on the scent of sake and Itachi as flames lapped at her insides.

"Consumed?" she asked with great difficulty, distracted by his proximity. In the back of her mind, alarms went off, but either she, or Inner, muted them as she unabashedly watched Itachi's mouth tug into a half-smile, reveling in the way his lips moved while she wondered how they would feel against hers, how hot they would feel against the skin of her neck. Her fingers twitched with a compulsion to reach out to him, and she quickly fisted her hand in her clothes in an attempt to stop herself from doing exactly that.

The movement caught his attention, an elegant, dark eyebrow raising. Just as she wondered how in control of his own faculties Itachi was, he slipped his fingers over her fist in a slow and tender touch that had her near gasping for air as arousal shot through her like electricity. Her heart was pounding so loudly, she was sure his neighbors could hear as his fingers drifted over the back of her hand until he reached her wrist, where he gently pried her fingers open with his thumb until she relented. Unable to watch the sensual movements of his hand beneath hers, Sakura lifted her eyes to find him still watching their now intertwined fingers, dark lashes casting long shadows over his cheeks. Now that she wasn't caught in the spell of his eyes anymore, it was easy to see he was breathing as hard as she was, and without thinking, she twisted her hand in his, the tips of her fingers resting against his wrist, where she could feel his heartbeat throb.

Where her mind had been occupied with a million thoughts and ideas and ways to tell Itachi she needed to leave before they did something they would regret, it fell silent now. All she could hear was the stillness of night and his soft breathing and the pounding of her heartbeat in her ears as he slowly, deliberately, raised his head. When his eyes met hers, it stunned Sakura to see the heat behind them—naked, raw and all-encompassing, as he finally showed her what he kept hidden away from her. She whimpered at the display of emotion, her mind knowing she had to resist, but her heart unable to rip herself away from him.

"Sakura..." he said, his tone so dark and imbued with desire that it stilled the air in her lungs.

Before he could continue, Sakura's hand moved of its own volition, tracing a path up beyond his wrist, bathing in the heat of his body. He closed his eyes at the sensation, exhaling heavily as he undoubtedly tried to regain some of his control over the situation while Sakura explored his forearm, relishing in his soft hair against her sensitive fingertips and the hard muscle beneath velvety skin.

"Sakura," Itachi repeated, voice roughened as he opened his eyes once more and looked at her. She dropped her hand from his forearm into his lap, and the effect was instantaneous as he wrapped his hands around her thighs, pulling her into him in one rough move that betrayed to her how much he desired her. His smell and heat became a heady combination as he stroked the outsides of her thighs, hands so powerful and tense, Sakura was sure he would unwittingly bruise her. "You need to go home," he said, punctuated by a heavy fall of his chest, as though he had just uttered the five hardest words in the world. The hand not currently occupying a place on his thigh, precariously close to another very private place of his, slid upward to cup his face, trembling. Instantly, he nuzzled her palm, his hand moving over hers, lips pressed against her fingertips as his hair tickled the back of her hand.

"I know..." she whispered. The touch of his lips on her skin sent shivers across her body as she lifted the hand on his thigh and moved it upward, over his stomach and chest, to his neck, where it slipped into his hair. "I know," she repeated, though she pulled him closer to her. He released her hand and caressed her jaw, the warmth near unbearable as he brushed winding tendrils of hair from her cheek. Even now, she could tell he was trying his hardest to keep away from her, and the knowledge that she could do this to him only fueled the blaze in her belly while she drew herself forward, one hand pressed now against his heart, intoxicated by his scent and the sake and the inexorable pull between them—

Their lips found each other.

Between the first and the next breath, they didn't move, simply feeling like two young teens, unable to process anything that happened between them as their lips met. His mouth was as perfect as she thought it would be, lips tasting of sake and a hint of spice, his hands burning, and a staggering giddiness crashed into her.

They drew back to take a breath.

The giddiness evaporated, leaving pure, unadulterated desire that both thrilled and frightened her as Itachi took her into his hands and hauled her fully onto his lap. This time, there was no gentleness as he slanted his lips over hers, tasting her like a man finding water in a desert, swallowing her moans as he swiped his tongue against hers in maddening, sensual strokes. Itachi groaned into her mouth, his hands wrapping around her waist and exploring her body with meticulous precision. Every slide of his hand over her waist or her sides had her whimpering against him as she mirrored his movements, mapping the wide and hard expanse of his chest and the dip and rise of his abdomen.

She kissed him feverishly, trying to keep up with the intensity of his tongue until her lungs screamed for air. As soon as she pulled back, Itachi wrapped a hand around her throat, tipping her head back to kiss a burning trail of kisses down her neck to her collarbone, then giving her a long lick from shoulder to earlobe that had her shuddering in his arms.

"Itachi..." she sighed, hands massaging his powerful shoulders.

His hands arrived at her thighs again, spreading her legs to fit her better around him, and her center came into contact with his hard arousal. The sensation of him, aching and throbbing beneath the surface of his sweatpants, rent a long moan from her lips. Itachi buried a hand in her hair, pressing his forehead against her as he breathed raggedly.

He looked at her then, dark eyes filled with a craving she had never seen in her life, even as an unbelieving smile lit his face. Her brow pinched, mouth falling open as she rolled her hips against him, delighting in how his jaw dropped, before his hand fisted in her hair and he dragged her lips to his. Her head swam with need and desire, the tips of her fingers slipping beneath the rim of his shirt, finding the trail of hair she had remembered so often over the last couple of weeks.

Itachi held her like he would never allow her out of his arms again—now slipping beneath her own sweater, fingers splayed over her back as he moved his hands from her buttocks to the small of her back, all the way to her shoulders and back again, cupping her rear, squeezing hard. In response, she dropped her hand to his erection, feeling for herself the size of him, ravenous for the sound of pure yearning that slipped from Itachi's lips. She had never been kissed like this before, never felt coveted like this before, never felt so consumed with need before, not even with Sasuke—

Sasuke.

Her eyes shot open, just as Itachi took her hand and removed it from his crotch. They stared at each other, lust and desire vanishing and leaving only guilt in its wake. In a flash, Sakura stood from Itachi's lap and circled around the table, covering her mouth and nose with her hands as she tried desperately to breathe, pacing in a panic. From the corner of her eye, she could see Itachi had risen from the sofa too, panting still as he also came to terms with what they had just done.

What they had done.

She had kissed another man.

Not just any other man, Sasuke's own brother.

Sarada's beloved uncle.

Her best friend.

A wave of nausea overcame her as she staggered toward the door. Itachi came after her, worried, but she stopped him simply by raising her hand, the tears in her eyes making it hard to see him clearly. "I'm sorry," she choked.

"Sakura, I—"

She wasn't sure which was worse, the guilt that crept into his voice or the fact that he still sounded hoarse with arousal. Either way, she needed to get away from him as far as she possibly could.

"It wasn't your fault," Sakura said, unable to keep the tremble from her voice. "You tried."

Then she fled, again, into the night.