His professor had his attention as soon as she said the word mission.
"As some of you may know, we have monthly missions from the church. Our first is rooting out some bandits. Rhea's having us ship out in two days, with the Knights going on ahead to make sure it'll work for our assignment." Byleth looked at each of them to make sure they heard her.
Lorenz was eager. After that travesty of a mock battle, he had to prove himself. Prove he was not a liability, prove he was better than Claude, prove that the Alliance would one day be his.
"I should note," Byleth said over the chatter. She moved in front of her desk and crossed her arms. "This isn't some training display. This isn't a bout at daddy's fencing grounds with an instructor who is paid a small village's yearly income. This is battle. The Knights are along for support, not to fight. They'll step in if necessary, but we are bringing the heads back to Rhea."
The chatter shriveled.
Byleth nodded. "You're going to kill people. You're going to snuff the life from people and they won't hesitate to return the favor. Give them a moment of mercy and you'll find a spear in your gut." She rolled her shirt up two inches and showed part of a scar that no doubt ran further up her torso. "I let a bandit live once. He gave me an axe across the chest. You do the math."
Lorenz smirked at young Ignatz wilting and Raphael's discomfort. Commoners, a softer folk. But he, a noble, would show them how fighting was to be done.
A small, but not insignificant, part of him stared at the scar Byleth showed.
"Anyone who wishes to speak with me about pre-battle nerves or concerns, come find me. You have tomorrow off from lessons. Be packed and ready to leave at sunup the day after next. Class dismissed." Byleth returned to her chair and began looking through homework they'd handed in.
The Deer mutely gathered up their things. A few shot glances towards Byleth, but made no effort to approach. One by one, they trickled out the door just like every day of the past two weeks of lessons.
But not Lorenz.
He stepped up to the professor's desk and cleared his throat. Byleth looked up to him and before Lorenz could speak, she said, "I found your answer to the homework interesting."
"Oh? Was it the best in the class?" He smirked.
"On the contrary, you said you'd deal with the ranged opponent with your lance. How?" Her eyes pierced into him.
That he was not expecting. "Well, a good question. I'd ride my horse up and charge him, of course. Naturally, my mount would get me close enough to enough to shoot so as to not miss."
Byleth nodded. "Have you ever charged down an archer?" Lorenz shook his head. "They don't wait for you to get close. That's suicide. They pin you down from a distance."
"But were I wearing armor—"
"So you'd survive an arrow from a shortbow. What if they have a better bow? Maybe an Adrestian Longbow?"
He didn't know what that was. "Well, perhaps the question could have specified that."
"I'm not going to baby you, Lorenz. Not you, not Claude, not anyone here. The question says that because that's all you'd know in battle. I once saw a mercenary hit with a bolt from an Adrestian Longbow at five hundred paces away. We weren't even battle ready." Byleth stopped speaking, eyes far away.
Lorenz didn't notice. "Five hundred, you say? Surely you must be mistaken, no marksman is that good."
"A Leicester sniper is. And Dagdan war archers are better. With an Adrestian Longbow, you have to draw it back with your shoulder. It's the only way a bow as big as that can fire. It punches through steel up to eight hundred paces away," Byleth said. "And you know why I'm making a point out of this?"
When he said nothing, she continued. "You're a noble, you're a target. A guard or armor can't do anything for you when an enemy shoots at you from a distance."
"Oh," he said, finding himself at a loss for words.
Byleth blinked and sighed. "Sorry, I didn't mean to frighten you. I meant it when I said I wanted you to know how to survive. I'm intent on keeping my students alive. Now, and in the future."
"I apologize, professor." A Gloucester was gracious in defeat. "I will endeavor to try harder."
"What I'll have you try is magic. Your Crest is known for magical ability. If we can arm you to fight from a distance, then that'll be another tool at your disposal. Meet me in the training yard this evening."
Lorenz didn't even know if he had a choice. "As you wish, professor. I do believe you'll be surprised. You'll find I have some magical talent."
"Excellent." He heard approval in her tone and he smiled.
"House Gloucester is second to none in the Alliance. That scoundrel Claude may pretend to be a leader, but he is a falsehood on a precipice of failure."
Byleth's face waned into a frown. "You should consider that attitude towards him. It would be beneficial to trust him on the battlefield."
Lorenz was cut off by a knock on their classroom door. Mercedes entered in with pep in her step. It vanished when she saw Lorenz and she grew apprehensive.
Ah yes, she'd turned down his dining invitation. How unfortunate. He'd heard something of her fall from nobility. Getting to know him was in her interest to climb back to high society.
"Lorenz," she greeted stiffly, then turned to Byleth, "and hello, professor!" He didn't miss the change in tone between greetings.
"Mercedes, have you gotten lost again? This is the Golden Deer classroom," Lorenz said.
"She's here to meet me for her lesson in archery," Byleth said. "Perfect timing, Mercedes."
Aghast, he said, "Professor, you would teach a student from another house? She's the competition!"
His professor stood up, gathering the papers on her desk and pushing in her chair. "And therefore I ought to deprive her of skills that might save her life? I don't care what country she's from, she wants to learn." Byleth paused and Lorenz swore she almost smiled. "I guess maybe I do understand that part of teaching."
Together, the two women walked out of the classroom, chatting amicably.
Lorenz frowned. He didn't mean for Byleth to damn Mercedes to a death by not learning. That was barbaric. He merely meant that her allegiance ought to be to the Alliance first. To help her own first, before looking to others. Was that really such a wrong thought to have? Should he doom people of Leicester for the sake of people from the Kingdom? Or the Empire?
Lorenz was so caught up in the notion that he forgot that he wished to ask her what it was like to kill someone.
Hilda had to drag her physically.
Marianne did not want to go for a late night meal before the dining hall closed. On the eve of battle, she wanted to rest and pray.
Though that was its own struggle. Pray for success or pray to be plucked up by the Goddess? A question she didn't have an answer to. Garreg Mach was better than Edmund Manor, that was for sure. But rumors still circled, classmates eyes lingered on her.
They knew. They had to know she was cursed.
And Hilda, bless her heart, was trying to befriend her. Marianne might be touched if she hadn't overhead Claude and her speaking a few weeks ago.
A deal with their teacher, that he'd make them all friends. It was a nice sentiment, Marianne supposed, but she'd rather not ruin it. Maybe they'd tolerate her for a time, but once they realized just how repulsive she was, they'd revile her.
But despite all that, despite saying to Hilda that it was dangerous to spend time around her, the girl still dragged her along. She chatted about everything imaginable and Marianne couldn't keep up.
When they got to the dining hall, they were the last to arrive. The hall was near empty aside from the Deer, sitting at their usual table in their usual spots.
After grabbing food, Hilda plopped down, Marianne following suit with much more elegance.
Claude nodded to them while Raphael kept telling his story.
"—and the farmer, he's this big guy. There's no doubt in his mind that he can lift more than me." Raphael was smiling per usual, but he waved his hands animatedly causing both Ignatz and Leonie to duck. "So I tell him that he's got nothing to lose and he agrees. Ten minutes later, he's on the ground panting while I drag the cart all by myself. The guy was so tired, he got into the cart and I pulled him too."
"Well, Ignatz? That true?" Claude asked with a smile.
Ignatz laughed. "Remarkably. Raphael never has shied away from showing off his muscles."
Hilda leaned forward. "I heard that you arm wrestled that Eagle, Caspar."
Raphael nodded. "He put up a fight!"
"Did you win some glory for the Deer?" Lorenz asked.
When Raphael nodded, Claude raised his glass. "To Raphael, proving brawn over brains can work." He winked and Raphael laughed at the jibe.
Hilda, Ignatz, and Leonie raised their glasses. Marianne half-heartedly followed, barely paying attention. She was tired, so very tired. But Byleth's words kept haunting her.
"You're going to kill people."
She shivered, but no one's eyes were on her.
A silence fell over the table and Marianne looked up from her lap in fright. Were they staring at her? Had she done something wrong? She started to apologize.
But it was Lysithea glaring at Claude. "Do you see me as child, Claude?"
"It was a jest, Lysithea." Claude flashed that winning smile of his.
The youngest Deer smacked a hand onto the table. "Stop treating me like I'm a child. I'm not! It's bad enough that I get it from our ridiculous professor, but I will not tolerate it from you." She grabbed her plate and left the table.
They all watched her leave. "Fuck," Claude muttered. "I didn't think she'd take it that badly."
"You asked if it was past her bedtime, Claude, I doubt anyone would take that well," Leonie retorted.
Claude frowned. "And she should be old enough to understand a joke for a joke. Maybe if she acted less like a kid, I'd have less ammunition."
Leonie scoffed and grabbed her things, leaving after Lysithea.
"Way to go, Claude," Lorenz said. "Your brilliant leadership is once again on display."
"You know, Lorenz, for all you talk shit about my ability, I hardly ever see you stepping up to offer better," Claude said, staring him down as he gripped his fork tight.
Marianne wrapped her arms around herself. Claude's voice reminded her of her father.
Ignatz and Raphael both grabbed their things and left while the two nobles started to argue. Marianne wanted to go with them.
"Hey, are you okay?" Hilda whispered as Lorenz's voice raised.
Marianne didn't have words. She just shook her head. Hilda practically pulled her from her seat, leaving their food.
They could still hear the two as they left the hall.
"You're an interloper who will destroy the Alliance from within, a two-bit charlatan who neither understands respect nor deserves it!"
"Oh, has daddy been hounding you hard after getting your ass kicked in the mock battle? I'm sure the stress must be great with you fearing he'll ride down here and spank you."
"Those two," Hilda tried to say lightly. But there was doubt in her tone.
"Sorry," Marianne apologized.
"What on Fódlan are you apologizing for?" Hilda asked, bewildered.
Marianne picked at a loose bit of thread on her uniform. "It was all nice before I showed up. Like I said, I'm cursed. I made it turn ugly."
Hilda waved her hands, exasperated. "You're not cursed, don't be silly. Those two are liable to bite each other's heads off without anyone's help."
Marianne didn't respond. Hilda was just being nice. It was her Crest's work again. She turned a nice meal into a fight.
"Marianne, you're being ridiculous," Hilda groaned.
"Sorry."
"Oh Goddess, you're impossible," Hilda said, throwing her hands up. "I'm heading back to my room." And she did, leaving Marianne behind.
She took a seat next to the fishing pond and began to pray to the Goddess.
If taking her out of this world would make the rest of the Deer get along, then surely it was worth it.
Lysithea was the first one aside from the professor to be by the stables. The sun was just peeking over the horizon.
"They're late," Lysithea said.
Byleth nodded. "They'll get better at being on time. Or at least they better."
The mage walked to one of the mares, stroking its neck. She wasn't overly fond of horses, but they got the job done.
"Have you ever thought of being a mounted mage?" Byleth asked her, breaking her from a reverie.
"No, I prefer my feet firm on the ground," she replied.
Byleth shrugged. "Could be good for you to learn." Claude and Raphael arrived and Byleth moved to speak to them.
Lysithea growled. Talking down to her like that? Was there a single person in this entire academy who would see her for the woman she was? She was no child.
That anger occupied her while the rest of her house arrived. Byleth chastised them for being late and sent them to their horses to gear up.
As they all sat perched upon their steeds, Byleth addressed them. "It's half a day's ride to the Red Canyon. The Knights are already there, let's not keep them waiting."
As they began to set off, Leonie rode up astride her. "You alright up there, Lys?"
Lysithea frowned. "I am perfectly capable with horses."
Leonie nodded. "Just checking. Let me know if you want any help."
She just couldn't escape it.
"The bandits are down there, where the canyon splits open more. You'll find an area with some bridges, the bandits will be hunkered down past them," Shamir said, briefing them. "The Knights will be on standby. If you're overwhelmed, retreat."
"Thank you," Byleth said. She turned to the students behind her. "We're going to stick together while we're down there. It'll give the Knights an easier time keeping an eye on us and stop us from being separated. Questions?"
Claude waved a hand. "Archers in back?"
"Archers and mages. Marianne in the middle." Byleth looked over towards the meek girl. "Don't focus on fighting, focus on keeping us alive. Leonie, Raph, you're up front with me."
"And me, professor?" Lorenz asked, not one to be left out.
Byleth walked over to him and put a hand on his shoulder. "Got an important job for you, you up for it?"
He smirked. "Oh, is that even a question? This son of Gloucester is ready."
"You're bringing up the rear. Bandits especially will try and swing around us. There's not many of them, so they might come around the back. I need you to protect our ranged people and warn me if that happens, understand?" Byleth commanded. Her tone brooked no disagreement.
Lorenz snapped up a little straighter. "As you will, professor."
"Anyone else got a question?" Byleth asked.
Pre-battle silence ruminated. She turned around and began walking into the canyon as Shamir split off to go to a higher vantage point.
Behind her, she could hear two of her students speaking.
"I liked that phrase, Lorenz."
"If you're to mock me, Claude, then I'm in no mood for it."
"'As you will.' It's good line. Perhaps we should use it."
"If you jest, Claude, stop it."
"I'm not. It's a compliment. Accept it."
"Ah…very well. Thank you, Claude."
Byleth almost smiled.
Leonie tackled Marianne to the ground as she saw the shimmer high in the cliffs. An arrow lanced down to where the blue haired woman had stood.
"Down!" screamed Byleth.
They all obeyed with varying levels of speed, ducking behind a fallen column. The bridge that led to where the bandits were staked out was in front of them. From their distance, they weren't close, but some bodies moved, spreading word of intruders.
"There's a sniper on that cliff over there. With that kind of aim, do not poke your heads up," Byleth shouted.
"What's the plan, Teach?" Claude asked, panting.
Byleth leaned so her head poked a fraction of the way above the stone, looking at the battlefield. She ducked and an arrow struck the stone a second later.
"Claude, Ignatz, Leonie, on my mark, take aim at the sniper. Lysithea, use magic to bring the column down across the bridge. If you can't hit the sniper, all of you make for that position. We're not going to give up ground."
"What about you, professor?" Raphael said, trying to hide his bulky frame behind the stone. The shouts of the bandits grew louder.
Byleth's face grew cold. "I'm going to give him a target. Take aim in twenty seconds." She didn't wait for agreement before vaulting over the column and running across the bridge.
Leonie let out a slew of curses, sheathing her sword and pulling her bow off her back. All eyes looked to Claude, even Lorenz'.
"Crazy woman," he breathed. "Take aim!"
Three archers sprang up, drawing their bows back. They fired to where the sun glinted off the steel of the bow. Lysithea hurled a ball of sticky Dark magic at the base of the pillar. It detonated, devouring through stone and dirt and bringing the stone down.
Byleth hadn't stopped running. Arrows dogged her path, each one a single mistake away from hitting her. Two bandits had charged her, holding axes up high like idiots. She closed the distance, driving her sword into the first's solar plexus while his weapon didn't protect him. The bandit buckled as she withdrew the blade and she grabbed the other bandit by the throat, dragging him in front of her as the sniper's next arrow dug into her new shield. Byleth discarded the now-corpse and kept running.
"Now!" Claude yelled, letting loose his arrow. Leonie and Ignatz were right behind him.
They missed, arrows slicing by in the wind. But they weren't far off. "Again!" Claude shouted. "Raphael, go help Byleth!"
"On it!" the blond said and ran towards the professor.
The bandits' numbers were growing. Byleth cut two more down, but the enemy's force put pressure on her.
"Loose!" Claude shouted. The arrows flew, missing again.
Lorenz pushed past Claude and damn near snarled. "No, like this." There was a pulse of something from Lorenz, a raw power that some of them were familiar with. Had they looked into his eyes, they'd see a light flash of blue.
The scion of Gloucester snapped his fingers and some flame erupted near the sniper. It was paltry, weak. But it scared the shit out of the sniper, making him stumble back.
"Again!" Claude called. Three arrows flew at the bigger target, two striking him in the chest.
The Deer roared in approval.
She hadn't been ready for the fire to appear in the corner of her vision.
The sniper's perch erupted ignited, blowing the man out of hiding. Her students capitalized, feathering him with arrows.
Byleth saw none of it, the flame awakening the memories. Her father holding her. A building burning. One that was now all too familiar. Her shrill screams. A burning piece of the roof fell in front of her. No, she was the one falling, her sword limp in her hands, eyes fading to—
"Gotcha, prof," Raphael said as he grabbed her shoulders. He promptly dropped her as a swordsman ran up to them. With his sturdy gauntlets, Raphael knocked the sword aside and delivered a catastrophic punch to his chest. The man reached a hand down to where the gauntlet's blade had pierced him. Raphael smashed his face, the skull crumpling like paper.
Byleth returned to the world. She gasped a breath, heaving oxygen into her lungs. "Raph, you alright?"
"No time to dwell." He looked sick from what he just did.
She looked over her shoulder. Her fawns were getting closer as they ducked behind the cover Lysithea had made, Claude already firing arrows. Some of the bandits fell, bolts sticking from their bodies.
"Let's go." She grabbed her sword and leapt back in.
After the third man he'd stuck an arrow in, Ignatz realized that he had a knack for killing.
He'd vomited. Marianne had run to check on him, but he was physically fine.
It was his artistic eye that was pained. That eye for detail, for precision. It directed his arrows to gaps in armor, to points of vulnerability. And it wasn't as hard as hitting a bullseye.
His professor was right. An enemy with an arrow in their gut still went down.
Marianne put a reassuring hand on his shoulder, though she looked no better than he did. Then Lysithea cried out as a lightning bolt descended near her. She glowed with the same power Lorenz did earlier, hurling a miasma towards the mage who'd struck her. Marianne's hand left, the comfort gone, as she dashed to the wounded girl.
A roar to his left made him turn. A bandit had snuck around them, running towards him with a spear. There was no time to aim.
Ignatz fired, using his professor's technique. The first arrow missed, but he drew back again. Another miss. Another.
The man was on him and gave a warbled battlecry, stopping short. Lorenz kicked him of the spear he'd skewered him with. He nodded to Ignatz.
Ignatz nodded back, and as Lorenz left, the archer looked down to the man who'd charged him. He was younger than Ignatz.
He vomited again.
The leader was down. The bandits that remained began to flee.
"Kill them!" Byleth shouted when the Deer had made no move to stop them.
Claude's bow was in his hands a second later. "As you will," he whispered, planting an arrow in a man running for his life. He fell, no longer moving. Claude turned and picked a new target, missing once, then hitting him.
Leonie joined him, but Ignatz didn't. Claude's classmate looked weak, ready to keel over. There was a lot of blood on him, though none of it seemed to be his.
"I surrender!" shouted a man as Lysithea raised a hand to cast magic. He fell onto his knees, dropping his weapon.
"Smart," Lysithea said, lowering her hand.
"Idiot," Byleth said as she walked over. She bumped into Lysithea, pushing her to the side as she raised her blade, driving it down on the man, shattering the clavicle. The bandit screamed as Byleth brought the blade back up, slamming it down again. He did not scream a second time.
The rest of the Deer were stunned, albeit Claude. It reminded him of a time long ago in a land which was not this one, where surrender was intolerable. Not altogether happy memories.
"What the hell was that?" Lysithea shrieked. "He had surrendered!"
"No mercy," Byleth muttered, not all there.
Lysithea walked right up to Byleth and shouted, "So we're to kill those who flee? Those who throw down arms? We're no better than them!"
That provoked Byleth. "They were bandits. If they lived, they would have gone on to do the same thing all over again. Or maybe that man would have pulled a knife on you. They're better off dead."
"You're a monster," Lysithea realized. Claude knew the sight of someone who had an epiphany and it made him frown.
Byleth lost a lot of her anger in a sigh. "We're all monsters before the Goddess. The difference between us and them is that our killing stops theirs."
Lysithea stared at Byleth pointed a finger at the dead bandit and snapped. His corpse engulfed in flames, the sickly smell of burning flesh rising.
Byleth went rigid, taking a step back. Lysithea had all but vanished to her, her eyes were only on the fire, the flickering bloom of heat.
"Lys! That's enough!" Leonie shouted. She stepped forward and grabbed the young girl's shoulder. "Put it out!"
The mage huffed, but did so. She turned around, walking away back to where the Knights would gather to meet them.
Byleth collapsed, but Raphael caught her for the second time that day. This time he didn't drop her. The remaining Deer all rushed to her side.
"Give her some room!" called Claude.
It was warrior sickness. At least, that's what they called it where he was from. People who fought too much or too long became beset with visions.
Byleth, as she came too, did not look okay. Her episode left her ragged like the battle hadn't. Exhaustion sagged at her attractive features, a weariness that was usually reserved for older age.
"I'll be fine, I just need a moment." Raphael put her down and she seemed to regain some comfort by touching the dirt.
In a carrying whisper, Claude spoke, "No one is to mention this to anyone at the monastery."
He got nods of affirmation, though some seemed confused.
In his land, people like the professor were shamed for not being able to fight well. While Fódlan bore half his ire, Claude preferred their way of handling ailments like warrior sickness and not ostracizing the victims.
He'd help her as best as he could. And that meant not having it be the talk of the monastery.
After giving her report to Rhea, Byleth had gone straight back to her room. Some of her students tried to approach her, but she brushed them off.
She was in no mood to talk.
Inside her room, she fished out the flask she kept behind her bed. It was still full of the vile liquor she'd bought the previous week. Flicking the top off, she took three big gulps, the taste obliterating her taste buds.
Byleth slouched down by the side of her bed, taking another few drafts. She wanted to forget. No, she needed to.
The burning corpse. The smell of the flesh.
More reminders of that day.
Sothis tried to say something, but Byleth couldn't hear her. She'd bought the most powerful stuff in the entirety of Garreg Mach. Her mind would lose the last grips of control in minutes.
There was a knock on the door. Byleth mumbled for them to go away.
"Professor, are you there?"
She drank more.
The door slowly opened and Mercedes walked in. She said nothing and just wrapped her arms around Byleth.
The flask was gently pulled from her grasp, but Byleth was far too gone for that to matter. She slurred, voice far from comprehensible.
"Fourteen more." Her voice was already raspy. Good, she just wanted to sleep. The sooner she could fall asleep, the better.
"Fourteen?" Mercedes quietly asked.
Byleth grunted. "Kills. Dead." Another fourteen sets of eyes to watch her.
"Oh, professor," Mercedes said. She pulled her in tighter to the embrace.
Mercedes was warm. But a comfortable warm, unlike fire. She began to hum softly, moving Byleth's head so she was over her chest. The light heart beat was calming, rhythmic.
Byleth fell into the first peaceful sleep she'd had in years.
Author Notes: I made the decision to dial Lorenz's tendencies with women back because that's something that is unhealthy for me to write due to my mental health. I won't ignore it, but I don't think you'll all blame me for taking a step back.
Editing Notes:
12/31/2020: Minor adjustments to grammar. Spelling mistakes corrected.
4/12/2021: Fixed a minor stylistic choice. Removed unnecessary author notes.
7/28/2021: Minor grammar adjustments. Changed one of Lorenz' lines to reduce stupidity.