Fate Stay Night – Unlimited Boob Works
Chapter 10 - "Breakfast, Laundry, And Domestic Bliss
"You wait here – "
"I will not!" Rin shouted, protesting as Shiro placed a cup of hot tea in her hands, but she took a drink anyway, before settling back down into bed.
"Ah . . .", she said, letting out a long sigh as she felt the warmth of the tea go through her while its scent wafted up to tickle her nose.
There were a million things she ought to be doing, but the warmth of the cup was nice between her fingers, and for a moment it felt so good just to lie back, propped up on her pillows, and snuggle down beneath the sheets in the soft warmth of her pajamas.
"Wait – when did I get changed into my pajamas?"
Sitting up, her perplexity turned to panic, as looking around the room she saw her bra draped across the back of the chair, while her familiar red top, black skirt, and pantyhose lay strewn across the floor as if they were removed in some sort of wild haste.
"When did I – ? Did we !? What the HELL happened last night !?"
A quick check told her that she was still wearing her underwear, much to her relief (though also a bit to her disappointment.)
"Think, Tohsaka, Think! There has to be an explanation for this – Argh! Now he's got me calling MYSELF Tohsaka – damn you Shiro Emiya!"
Gradually her hazy mind began to piece together the events of the previous evening. The last thing she could remember was falling asleep with Shiro's arm around her, and the sight of their two hands lying intertwined together on the blanket.
The following hours were a jumbled tangle of vague warmth. The next thing she could remember clearly wasn't really a memory at all, – just a sensation of brightness. Opening her eyes, she could see the room was bathed in a soft yellow glow. The overhead light was on, and the clock on her nightstand showed the time was 2AM.
Evidently Shiro was aware of it too. Sitting up, he leaned back on his hands for a moment before crawling over to the edge of the bed. Rin sat up with him, her eyes stinging from the light, while her head felt like it had coarse sand running through it.
"Well, the power's back on . . . I guess I should be going – "
"Wait!" Rin said, clutching his hand and shaking her head defiantly.
For a moment she bit her lip as he looked at her, trying to think of what she should say. She didn't want to admit how nice it was, having him next to her, or how warm she felt.
"It's just that – it could go back out again . . . And besides, it's late – it's the middle of the night, and . . . And I don't want you to go."
For a moment she looked away as Shiro looked at her, inwardly praying that he wouldn't make her say any more.
Then, without a word, he laid back down. Without being asked or directed, he put his arm around her again.
"Rin . . ."
At hearing her name, she let out a long sigh, and gave his arm a gentle squeeze, before drifting back off to sleep again.
Or at least she tried to.
For a moment, they just laid there, snuggled together in the softness of the yellow glow.
But after several minutes, the light, though bright and cheerful as it was, began to be glaring, and then oppressive.
Opening her eyes, Rin winced at the switch on the wall. It was on the other side of the room, over by the door. Could she hit it if she threw the alarm clock? No, better not to chance it. What about a pillow?
For a moment she seriously considered trying to flip it with one of her Gandr shots, even going so far as to start concentrating energy as she pointed at it with her finger. But then she thought better of it. Mages and technology didn't seem to agree. She still vividly remembered the time she'd tried using magic to print a report for class. She'd been running late, and thought she might use her powers to help hurry things along. She'd needed 30 copies of report, but in the end, she ended up printing 3000.
"What did you do!?" her teacher had asked. Such was the efficacy of the spell, that no matter what they did, nothing would cancel the job. In the end, they had to stand there and keep feeding it boxes of paper and ink cartridges until it was done. If she thought long enough, she could still hear the awful shearing sound of the dot matrix printer carriage sliding back and forth, while her fingers ached from tearing off all of those damned little strips with the holes from the paper's edges.
"Ugh", Rin thought, lowering her hand. Knowing her luck, she'd use too much power, and accidentally knock out all of the circuits in the entire house. With a sigh, she resigned herself to getting up.
"Wait here", she told Shiro in a fierce whisper that would brook no denial.
Shiro watched as Rin got up and went over to the wall. For a moment she seemed to linger, as if lost in thought. And then she flipped the switch. He couldn't make out anything in the darkness, and his sense of time was off, being half awake as he was, but it sure seemed to be taking her a long time to get back.
"Maybe she went to the bathroom?"
As he sat there in the darkness, he heard a rustle, and then a soft click, and then more rustling again.
"Wait – is she !?"
And then he felt the bed creak.
The thought of Rin getting into the bed naked sent him into a panic. Under such circumstances, he had no idea if he could stop himself, or if he even should. With a wall on one side and Rin on the other, the only escape would be to jump off at the foot of the bed, and he was seriously considering this and then going out the nearby window, when he felt her take hold of his arm again.
Much to his relief, he felt the now familiar texture of her old top and the pleats of her skirt.
"Wait, if that's not it, then what did she – ohh . . ."
As his arm wrapped around her, he could feel the gentle warmth of her breasts as they spilled beneath her sweater. His arm was underneath them, and though they weren't especially large, they were big enough to lap over it, so that their undersides rested against him. They were so impossibly soft – if they felt like this through her shirt, how much softer must they be if he were to touch them? The thought was intoxicating, and for a moment he lay there drowning in it.
As he listened, he could hear Rin's breathing slow, gradually becoming shallow, until he was drifting with her just off of shore, each breath bobbing gently with the crest of its own little wave.
"Is she asleep?"
There was one way to tell for sure.
"Tohsaka . . ?"
Nothing.
"If she was awake, she would punch me or kick me for sure", he thought with a smile, as he settled in behind her, careful not to make any disturbance. He listened to her breathing for a few moments more, before finally drifting off with her.
Recalling this memory, Rin's eyes went wide at the thought of her part in it. For a moment she sat up and looked around guiltily, as if she feared someone might be watching her. And then she flounced back onto the bed, draping her arm over her eyes in an effort to hide from her own embarrassment.
Downstairs she could hear a variety of noises – the whisking of a fork in a bowl, running water in the sink, the clack of a spatula against a frying pan, the clunk of something being set on the counter.
"He sure does make a racket", Rin said, still hiding behind her own elbow. But though she complained, she enjoyed these things. Secretly, they made her happy, though she couldn't say just why it was a secret, or who it was a secret from. These were domestic sounds – the sounds of life. How long had it been since they echoed through this house?
"Not since when Dad died – and then Mom went to pieces, and – "
No. She couldn't let herself think about that now. Rolling onto her side, she caught sight again of her skirt, blouse, and panty hose lying strewn across the floor.
"Wait – that explains how my bra got on the back of the chair, but how did my – "
And then she remembered.
"Waughhh!"
"Tohsaka, are you all right !?" Shiro shouted as Rin jumped out of the bed.
"No I am NOT all right!" Rin shouted back, as he turned on the lamp on the nightstand – just in time to see her hiking her shirt up over her head, before throwing it on the floor.
"I CAN'T TAKE IT ANY MORE !"
Shiro watched in horror. He was standing behind her, and her back was to him, so he really couldn't see anything, but just the idea that Rin was topless before him was more than he could take. But she had no intention of stopping there.
Her skirt was next. Sliding it down past her hips, she let it drop to floor, before kicking it into the middle of the room, then stripped off her pantyhose, and threw them down at the foot of the bed.
"G – R – R – R – R !"
Snarling, she pulled on her yellow gown, and then stepped into a matching pair of pajama bottoms, which she pulled up to her waist.
Turning the lamp off with a click, she crawled back under the covers, pulling the blankets and Shiro over her in one, vicious motion.
And then, just as quickly as it had begun, the tirade stopped. For a moment Shiro lay wide eyed, his arm once again around her, and now forcibly pinned beneath her chin. As he listened, he heard her breathing again slow back to normal.
"Rin?"
In several moments, her breaths grew regular and deep.
"Rin . . ?"
If anything, she seemed to be more soundly asleep now than she was before, leaving Shiro to blink awkwardly as he now found himself hopelessly wide awake.
"Ohh!" Rin groaned, sinking further down beneath the covers, wishing she could disappear.
Did he see?
How could he NOT have seen?
What if he DID?
What did that mean for him? For her?
"For us?" she thought. Not that there was an "us" yet, but it didn't hurt to think ahead.
"What if Shiro saw my – what if he saw me – "
In the end, she came to a simple conclusion.
"You know what? I don't care!" she shouted, shaking her balled up fist.
"Care about what?"
The sound of Shiro's voice, and the creak of his foot at the top of the stairs, startled her badly enough she almost shrieked.
"Waauu – you can't just sneak into a girl's room like that! Didn't anyone ever teach you to knock!? You have absolutely NO manners – "
Her voice trailed off as her eyes and Shiro's met. There in the corner of their view was her black lace brassiere, dangling from the back of the chair. Shiro's eyes were drawn to it like a magnet.
"Um – "
Immediately his face went bright red.
"Oh crap!" she thought. "He DOES remember!"
"Waugh – augh – augh – I – I didn't see anything! I mean it! I swear! It all happened so fast, and – and you were moving so quickly, so – "
Rin stared at him for a moment, then collapsed on her side laughing.
"Well if you say so", she said, pouting just a bit, as a wave of relief swept over her, along with another hint of disappointment. "I suppose I have no choice to believe you. Maybe it wasn't your fault this one time. But if I find out you're lying – "
"I'm NOT lying!" he said, holding his arms up defensively as she lunged out and snatched up the offending undergarment, quickly stuffing it underneath a pillow.
She was about to continue her lecture, and possibly give him a sharp whack, just for good measure, when she realized that he was carrying a tray, set with two plates and several small bowls, along with a knife, a fork, a salt and pepper shaker, and a fresh cup of tea.
"Uh – you really didn't have to – just a minute! I can come down!"
"But I've already brought it up here!"
The idea of Shiro serving her breakfast in bed was utterly embarrassing. But at the same time, it sounded wonderful. Had she known, she would have curled up under the blanket and pretended to be asleep so as to take full advantage. But there was no way that she was going to let him know that. As a compromise, Rin seated herself on the edge of the bed, while Shiro set up the tray on the nearby writing table.
"You really didn't have to – " she said again, reaching out her hands to accept another cup of tea.
"It's no big deal. And it isn't much – just eggs and toast."
What Shiro said might have been true, but to someone who was accustomed to making her own breakfast every day, the contents of the tray looked like paradise.
"Oh! Those eggs look heavenly! So light and fluffy! And that toast is so perfectly golden brown . . ."
Surveying the tray, she saw that in addition to the big plate for the eggs and a smaller plate for the toast, it also contained four small bowls. Of these, one contained a small pat of butter, while another had a spoonful of strawberry jam. A third contained some sort of berry preserves, while the fourth had a measure of honey.
"I didn't know what you like, so . . ." Shiro's voice trailed off sheepishly.
Rin studied each of them critically.
"Well that settles it. I'm just going to have to try some of everything!"
Tearing the toast into fourths, she decided to try the butter first. Spreading it onto the little triangle, she held it up, intending to take a small, ladylike nibble, but in the end gave in and took a big bite.
"Ohmp!"
The inside was soft and warm, having soaked up the butter, while the outside had just the right amount of crunch.
"Oh my gosh – this is delicious!"
"It's just toast!" Shiro laughed.
"Oh sure! Kind of like how you're just a second rate Mage, who only knows strengthening magic – but just happens to also know projection magic – and just happens to be able to create reality marbles – AND can create fully functional copies of magical weapons most people don't even know exist! You should take a compliment as a compliment, and let it go at that!"
"Okay, fine! Thank you . . ."
In short order she had polished off the rest of the toast, and the eggs, and was finishing up her tea, when she realized that all this time, Shiro was still standing there, looking at her.
"Wait – didn't you make anything for YOURSELF!?"
"Well, I wanted to make yours first, so – "
"You dummy! Get downstairs and make yourself something! You won't be of any use if you go off fainting on me!" she said, gathering her skirt and top off of the floor.
"Wait, are you going to wear the same clothes?"
"So what if I am? YOU'RE still wearing the same clothes! Honestly, you wear that silly blue and white top so much of the time, I wonder if it isn't your second skin!"
"Well, yeah, but – it's just – if I had known you wanted to re-wear it, I could have done a load of laundry – "
"There is NO WAY I would ever let someone like YOU do my laundry! You'd probably do something strange with it!"
"What do you think I'd do!?"
"I don't know! Boys are just weird about that kind of stuff! Now off you go! Shoo! I'll be down in a minute!"
Rin waited for Shiro to go, then gathered up the rest of her clothes, and hugged them to herself.
"Idiot . . ."
"I thought you were going to get dressed?" Shiro said, setting his plate down on the table.
"I was."
Rin was sitting opposite him. Her elbows were resting on the table, while her fingers were laced together, so that they made a perfect resting place for her chin as she sat, rubbing her feet together, enjoying the feel of the soft carpet.
"You were, but?"
"I changed my mind!"
Shiro sighed, then shook his head, as he dug into his own plate of eggs.
"Are you just going to sit there and watch me?"
"Yes!" Rin said, uncrossing her legs, then crossing them again on the other side. "You stared at ME the whole time while I ate, so I decided I'm going to stare at YOU, and make you feel awkward, and see how you like it."
"That's mean!"
"Yes!" Rin giggled. "I suppose it is."
Shiro rolled his eyes, but it seemed that nothing could ruin her good mood. It continued while he ate, and afterwards while she insisted on helping him wash up.
"I'm used to living alone – normally I do all of this myself every day, you know!"
Her good mood continued as she went upstairs, humming all the while, and then came humming her way back down, dressed in her red top and black skirt again. It lasted all the way back from the Tohsaka residence, along the familiar streets and sidewalks, to the front of the Emiya estate where the plastered outer walls looked bright and cheery in the morning light, their tiled tops glazed with a hint of frost. It lasted all the way up to the porch – right up until Illya opened the door.
"And what the HELL made you think THAT was a good idea!?"
They were sitting in the living room of the Emiya House, arranged around the dinner table. Rin and Shiro sat on one side, while Sakura, Saber, and Illya were on the other. Rin did not at all like being yelled at – the whole ordeal felt like they were two children being scolded by their parents for being out all night – but at the same time she found it all rather amusing. Usually she was the one doing the yelling – it was actually kind of nice to be on the other end of things for a change. That, and their current situation was not without its advantages. After all, she and Shiro were seated together.
As the reigning monarch, Saber sat in the middle, on a cushion that was a little higher than the rest, with Sakura on her right hand, and Illya on her left. Illya acted as the prosecutor.
"Don't you realize how worried we all were!? While YOU two were out gallivanting around, the three of us were up all night, worried sick!"
Hearing her words, Shiro felt genuinely bad. He could see the dark circles under her eyes, and neither Saber nor Sakura looked like they had slept much either.
"Look, I'm really sorry. Like I said, the power went out and – "
"And what? The two of you just decided to shack up!?"
"It wasn't like that! Nothing happened!"
Hearing his words made Rin feel a little hurt. For her own part, she would have been willing to let Illya think whatever she wanted. Hearing him deny it so vigorously displeased her, and she frowned sourly.
"And what are YOU looking so smug about?" Illya shouted, turning her wrath towards Rin as she continued her tirade. "Shiro I can forgive – he's innocent and good natured. But YOU should have known better!"
Rin looked down and to the side, pretending to be hurt, then touched her fingers to her chest and smiled coquettishly.
" . . . I'm sorry. But it's like Shiro said – the power went out, and – and – well anyway nothing happened – at least, nothing much . . ."
"Oh don't give me THAT! Of course nothing happened. I KNOW, because I was watching you the entire time!"
At these words, Rin's eyes went wide.
"Wha - ! Watching! But how!?" she shouted, putting her arm over her chest as she remembered her late night striptease.
Illya held up a tuft of her hair. Looking closely, Rin could see a thin silver wire emerging from the end of it.
"Remember I told you when all of this started that I was going to put a magic thread on each of us so that we could keep in contact in the event of emergencies? I was monitoring the whole time – your heart rate, breathing, vital signs – everything! If there'd been any sort of suspicious, vigorous activity, I'd have sent Father to kill you both!"
Shiro recoiled in horror. But Rin sighed in relief. At least they hadn't actually SEEN her take off her clothes – though it did make her a little angry to think that she'd gotten undressed in front of Shiro and it didn't even raise his heart rate enough to trip Illya's alarm.
Illya, for her part, seemed wistful.
"Well – maybe not both of you – maybe not Shiro – maybe I'd have him just kill you."
"Oh come on! How is THAT fair!?"
"It isn't! And it doesn't have to be! If you EVER pull another stunt like that, you're going to have a hell of a lot more than the Holy Grail War to worry about! That will be the LEAST of your concerns.
'And as for YOU", she said, turning back to Shiro again. "You had better'd BELIEVE I will be keeping a MUCH closer eye on YOU from now on!"
"Man, am I glad THAT's over", Shiro thought as he stepped onto the floor of the dojo.
Seeing how upset Illya had been made him genuinely sorry.
"I've got to find some way to make it up to her . . ."
For his own part, he felt guiltily well rested. Falling asleep in Tohsaka's bed had been difficult, but once he'd drifted off, he'd slept more or less soundly, even with a few interruptions. If anything, he felt like he'd slept too much, and it left him feeling rather drowsy and sluggish.
"I've gotten too soft . . ." he thought, looking around the room.
Like the rest of the Emiya house, the practice hall was ancient. It was very stately, and for the most part very sparsely decorated, though one wall off to the right did contain a display of weapons. These were mostly swords and spears, along with a few bows, but there was one section of stranger, more exotic weapons. There were throwing darts in a variety of shapes and sizes, and a pair of sword catchers, along with a sickle and chain, and a strange rope contraption that reminded him vaguely of Rider's weapon.
"How does this even work?" Shiro thought, taking it down off of the wall for a closer inspection. He'd always found the idea of chain weapons a bit strange and mysterious. His own tastes ran more to kendo, and then archery, as these seemed like the kinds of weapons a Hero of Justice should use. But having been on the receiving end of Rider's rope dart, he had to admit it certainly was effective.
"I mean – how do you even use this?"
He remembered there was an old wooden target in one of the closets meant to be used with the darts and shuriken for throwing practice.
"Ah, what the heck!"
Swoosh – swoosh – swoosh – thud!
"Damn."
Shiro cursed as he watched the side of the spike bounce harmlessly off of the target.
Swoosh – swoosh – swoosh – thud!
It bounced again.
"Idiot . . ."
Rin's words may have sounded cold, but her voice was warm, and she smiled softly at his determination – until she looked over and realized that Sakura was smiling too, at which point their fond glances quickly devolved into a steely eyed glaring match, complete with arcs of lightning flashing between them.
Shiro continued on, oblivious to the silent war that was carrying on behind him.
Swoosh – swoosh – swoosh – thud!
"Damn it!"
By now he was he was getting visibly frustrated. He'd been at it for half an hour, and hadn't gotten the dart to stick even once.
"Here", Rider said diplomatically, hoping her intervention would also help defuse the situation that was rapidly escalating behind them.
"You have to raise your hand up as you throw the dart out. If you hold your hand a couple of inches higher than the target – "
And here she demonstrated, extending her arm so that the chain flowed out gracefully in an arc, sailing out until it buried itself into the wooden dummy.
"Otherwise, you'll hit with the side, and it will just bounce off", she finished her explanation, retracting the chain with a quick flick of her wrist, so that the dart returned to her grasp.
"You try it."
"Well of course YOU make it look easy – " Shiro grumbled, pretending to complain, but he smiled good naturedly.
He held the spike up and pointed it at the target, doing his best to imitate what Rider had done. Letting it fall, he swung it counter clockwise so that it came twirling up in front of him, just past his shoulder.
Swoosh – swoosh – swoosh – THUNK!
To his own amazement he watched as the dart sailed out in a graceful line, paying the rope out behind it, until it embedded itself in the target.
"Hey – it worked!"
But now there was another problem. The dart had struck with such force, and buried itself so deeply that it seemed there was no getting it out.
"Ugh! Come on! It – really – is – stuck –"
"Um, it's probably better to walk up to the target and take it out directly", Rider cautioned. "Otherwise, you'll – "
But her warning was too late. With a fierce yank, Shiro dislodged the blade – only to find it now sailing back towards him.
"Yikes!" he shouted, jumping to one side as Rider gracefully leapt to the other.
That momentarily took him out of harm's way, but the dart very quickly reached the end of its rope behind him, only to come whirling around from the other side. Before Shiro could even comprehend what had happened, it had wrapped around him three times, with the general result of the exercise being that he wound up totally helpless on the floor.
"Mistress is right – " Rider scolded as she reached down to help detangle him. "You really ARE an idiot . . ."
But he came up laughing so hard that in the end she couldn't help but smile and laugh along with him.
"If you want to try moves like that, you should start with a practice weapon first – something with softer ends, like a monkey's paw – "
"Hmph! Shiro doesn't need to bother with any of that!" Saber called out as she strode boldly into the hall.
Turning, they could see that she had changed into a typical kendo uniform, with a white top and dark navy blue hakama pants that were deeply pleated. She carried a bamboo practice sword in each hand.
"What he needs is to practice with a REAL weapon", she said, tossing one of them to Shiro.
Shiro caught it, and looked down at the bundle of bamboo slats that were woven together to form the blade. As he studied the wrapped leather handle, he couldn't help but think his life expectancy had just gotten a whole lot shorter.
"Gulp."
"Men!"
WHACK!
"Do!"
WHACK!
"Kote!"
WHACK!
"Shiro, you're supposed to defend yourself."
"I'm trying!"
"Try harder. Ashi!"
WHACK!
"Oh wait, there are no points for legs, are there? I guess that one doesn't count – "
"It sure as HELL counts to me!" Shiro shouted, hopping up and down on one foot in an effort to get the stinging to go away. "That's gonna' leave a bruise . . ."
"Bruises build character. Weakness is the enemy."
Saber held her sword out, waiting, as Shiro paced from side to side, trying to delay the inevitable. At last he gave in. Holding his own sword stretched out towards her, he crossed it with hers, and then crouched in the traditional acknowledgment of respect – only to be interrupted by the sound of the doorbell.
"I'll get it!" Sakura volunteered cheerily, running off in her stockinged feet.
"Well isn't SHE quick to play the lady of the house?" Rin thought to herself, scowling at the sound of Sakura's footsteps in the hall. She heard the opening of the door, and then a muffled voice, along with the noise of a pair of shoes being set in the entryway. And then a familiar face appeared at the practice hall door.
"Miss Taiga! What are you doing here?"
"I CAME to check up on a certain delinquent student – and possibly BEAT some sense into him – but it looks like Miss Saber is doing a fine job of that already."
Glancing over, Rin could see that Shiro was now laying on the dojo floor, his arms sprawled out to either side, with his wooden practice sword draped over him.
"Have mercy on me . . ."
"Oh well, I supposed we could take a break for lunch."
"That – sounds good . . ." Shiro panted.
"Excellent. Get up and make something for us.
For some unknown reason, they ended up having lunch in the practice hall. And for another, equally unknown reason, Miss Taiga ended up staying and having lunch with them.
"Adulting is HARRRDDD!" she whined, holding her bowl out for a second helping.
Questionable company and conversation aside, the effect was actually quite nice. It was rather like having a picnic.
"Look – " Taiga said, her voice suddenly taking on an uncharacteristically thoughtful bent. "I know you kids have been through a lot. The anniversary of the death of Souichiro-sensei hit all of us very hard. With the memories of all that happened last year – the murders, and the gas leaks – not to mention the normal pressures of just being in high school – don't you look at me that way! I can still remember what it was like! It may have been a long time ago, but it wasn't THAT long of a time ago!
'But seriously – I guess what I'm trying to say is – I get it. Things are hard, and I get that. So I'm not going to give you a hard time about the last couple of days. BUT – that being said – I expect NEXT WEEK everything will be back to normal – ALL of you will be back in class, with all of your make up work done, and with PERFECT attendance! Does everyone understand me?"
"Yes ma'am!" they answered in unison.
"Good! Now you can go back to killing each other. Shiro looks like he still has a little fight left in him."
"Wha - !"
"Very good!"
And so for the third time that day, Shiro found himself looking down the length of his bamboo sword only to find a blonde haired, green eyed certain death staring back at him.
Miss Taiga had volunteered to act as referee, and stood with her hand between the two of them, ready to signal the start of the match.
"Why is SHE still here?" Shiro grumbled to himself, wondering how this day could possibly get any worse.
"Hai! Taiga called, lifting her hand to signal the start of the match – or in Shiro's case, something more like open season. But before Saber could strike, they once again heard the sound of the doorbell.
"Who on earth could it be this time?" Shiro thought to himself, unsure if he should be apprehensive or grateful.
"*I* will get it", Rin announced bossily, jumping up before Sakura had the chance. She wasn't about to let her have things all her way.
As she ran down the hall, she took a peculiar pleasure in the sensation of being barefoot in Shiro's house, with only her thin black hose between her and the polished wooden floor.
"Maybe I should get a little pair of slippers to keep over here, for – well, just in case – "
The thought made her giddy, and as she stepped down into the entryway, her mood once again soared, back to the way she'd felt that morning, when Shiro had made her breakfast.
"Maybe one day I actually will let him do my laundry", she giggled.
And then she opened the door.
"Father Kotomine – what are YOU doing here!?"
Rin asked, staring in shock at the black clad figure on the doorstep before her.
"I'm LOOKING for YOU!"
"Me!? But why would YOU be looking for ME!?"
"Hmm, let's see – you don't answer your phone – you're never at home – when I stopped by Fuyuki High I was told you haven't been in school –"
"You stopped by my school!? What kind of creepy, stalker-ish excuse for a priest are you!?"
"It's not creepy for me to be concerned about your well being!"
"It's none of your business!"
"Checking up on my ward IS my business. And anyhow I thought I might find you here – "
"Why Father", Miss Taiga said, coming to the door to see what all of the commotion was about, with Shiro and Saber still in their kendo uniforms trailing awkwardly behind her.
'Oh, you're the priest from that church Rin goes to – "
"I do NOT go to his church!"
"Yes, I am the pastor at Fuyuki Church. My card. You should stop by sometime if you ever find yourself having something you need to confess – student abuse – manslaughter – homicide – we take all kinds, and we're not inclined to judge. Besides, you'd be hard pressed to come up with something we haven't heard before."
"Why Father Kotomine, you are too kind", Miss Taiga said, reading the card, and then turning to Rin and Shiro with a look that made both of them nervous. "Perhaps we should do lunch sometime. Between your ward and my prodigal son, I'm sure we would have lots to discuss", she added, narrowing her eyes and talking through gritted teeth in a way that made Rin and Shiro both shiver.
"Excellent! I know the most delightful little curry shop."
"Did you ever find it difficult being a female swordsman?" Shiro asked. They had been practicing long enough that Saber had apparently gotten over being mad – that or she'd simply taken out her frustration by beating him enough. "I mean – I would think in terms of upper body strength, wouldn't a man have an advantage?"
Saber frowned at what she obviously considered utter nonsense.
"Tch! – in terms of brute strength, that might be the case, but swordsmanship is about technique, and besides, most of the power comes from the hips, and a woman is naturally more aware of her hips than a man", she said matter of factly, and for an example, she swayed her hips and threw a light cut upwards into Shiro's ribs. The motion was so effortless and so easy, it looked like it would have no power at all, but it landed with such force it knocked the wind out of him, and left Shiro feeling certain at least one of his ribs must be broken.
"Oww! Why do you say a woman is more aware of her hips?" he asked.
"Because so much of a woman's life revolves around her hips", Saber answered, as if disgusted he had asked something so obvious.
"What do you mean, a woman's life revolves around her hips?"
"Uh . . . Well . . . " Saber blushed.
"She means that's why women are naturally so much better than men at things like dancing!", Rin said, coming to her rescue. Saber may have been her rival, but even she was not so heartless as to leave her in such an awkward predicament in light of Shiro's questioning.
"Yes, that's it exactly!"
"What's it? That doesn't make any sense at all!"
"Less talk, more practicing!"
Shiro sighed. He still had no idea what Saber and Rin were talking about, but he had to admit she certainly did look good in a kendo uniform. The sight of her feet on the ground, poised with such confidence, while the deeply pleated folds of her hakama pants masked her movements was mesmerizing. The motion of her hips was like the rolling of a wave, and there could be no doubt about their power – his poor bruised ribs could attest to that.
"Hey!" he shouted as she twirled away from his attack. "I thought you told me never to turn your back on an opponent!"
She had presented her shoulder as bait, leaning forward to make it that much more appealing, while trailing her sword out behind her. And Shiro had fallen right into her trap. Cutting at her, he watched his blade pass harmlessly behind her back as she spun away, only to twirl and land a rather spectacular cut of her own that came crashing down on his collar bone.
"That ASSUMES you're facing someone WORTHY enough to even be CONSIDERED an opponent!" she taunted.
Kotomine coughed.
"Truly a woman's ways are unsearchable. You cannot know them."
"GRR – "
Shiro struck angrily, but he left an opening so wide that she actually made a small hop as she leapt through it, bring her sword up and then crashing down in a classic kendo overhead strike.
"OW! Now you're just showing off!"
He drew back, but this time, she dashed in close, pressing against him with her side, as for a moment the two of them wrestled with their swords between them.
"Grr – " he growled, struggling to find an opening. "Aren't you worried about getting so close? I mean, what if I had tried to punch you or something?"
"Punching is useless in armored combat."
"Well that makes sense."
"Wrestling is much more effective."
"Wrestling? That doesn't sound very chivalrous."
"Wrestling is a KNIGHTLY art", Saber retorted, a bit haughtily. "Boxing is a PLEBIAN pastime – a knight would never strike another knight with his fist – it would do nothing against an armored opponent, and besides, the bones of the hand are very fragile – an injury there would render a knight incapable of using his sword – unthinkable!"
Her manner was uncharacteristically haughty as she lectured him with her hand on her hip – but she did seem to be enjoying herself.
"Saber is really in her element here in the dojo", Shiro thought. But even so, he couldn't resist teasing her a bit.
"I don't know – it all sounds so barbaric."
Saber smirked, a bit of mischief coming into her eyes.
Pressing close, she placed her hip against his side, and made that same rolling, wavelike motion again. Before Shiro could realize what was happening, she had shifted her center of gravity under his – then up again. For a moment he rode the crest of the wave – and then went crashing over, onto his back, with the wind knocked out of him by a devastating hip throw.
"OOFH!"
"That would open up a nice gap here, under your arm – " Saber said, poking him with her sword tip.
"Hey!"
"- or your groin – " she threatened, making him recoil as she waved the sword menacingly.
"WHAA – !"
"Or I could always run you through the eye slit in the visor of your helmet."
"Ack! That's awful!" Shiro protested, batting the sword away.
She looked down at him, laughing and smiling, and found she could not help but be warmed by it, and laugh herself.
"Come on", she said, reaching down. "That's enough for one day."
Shiro took hold of her offered hand, grateful to be helped to his feet again.
"The bones of the hand are very fragile . . ." he repeated her words absent mindedly, looking down at the way her hand fit in his.
"Saber's so strong", he thought. "But even so, her hands are kind of small – and delicate looking . . ."
He kept hold of her hand without thinking about it, noting the slenderness of her fingers, while she herself made no effort to take it away.
"Ohh!" Miss Taiga called, clapping her hands together. "Miss Saber really IS amazing! Did she study Judo? Or perhaps aikdo?"
"Er – what is Ju-do?" Saber asked, awkwardly jerking her hand away.
"It's like Japanese wrestling", Shiro explained.
"I see", Saber said, dusting herself off, though this was more out of polite habit. Shiro was the one who had been rolling around on the floor. She herself had barely gotten dirty.
"Now that I think about it, what you said makes a lot of sense. Karate is more of a modern development. You'd probably like something like Jujitsu."
"Ju-jit-su?"
"It was a samurai art – much older and more warlike."
"Hmm – " Saber said, putting one hand on her shoulder and rolling it forward, and then backwards again. "Clearly I shall have to look more into this Jujitsu."
"I can take care of this here if you'd like to go on and hit the bath first", Shiro offered, gathering up the bamboo swords from their practice session.
"Hmm!" Saber nodded enthusiastically, excusing herself and making a hasty exit.
Shiro watched her go, hearing the sounds of the other girls talking. Evidently Rin and Sakura were still having some sort of disagreement.
" – Now if you'll excuse me, Shiro has had a very hard day, so *I* shall be making dinner tonight", Rin said, putting her fingers to her chest, in one fell swoop depriving Sakura of her strongest suit. But Sakura wasn't about to let such a challenge go unanswered.
"Ohh! Tohsaka-sempai! I didn't know that you knew how to cook!"
For a moment it seemed like there might be bloodshed. Then Illya intervened.
"You needn't trouble yourselves", she said haughtily. "*I* shall be taking care of dinner tonight!"
For a moment Rin and Sakura stared in shock. Illya wasn't exactly a princess, but the Einzberns were nobility, both in the magical world and the regular human world alike, so this pronouncement was a little like the Queen of England telling everyone to sit down and be quiet while she made the tea. In terms of appearance, with her flowing white hair and fulsome body, Illya was unassailable. And as a Mage, what with her inhumanly large collection of magic circuits, she was easily the most powerful contender from the last Holy Grail War. So the thought that she might also be harboring some heretofore unrevealed domestic streak was devastating, and left both Sakura and Rin staring in awed silence.
Their silence continued as Illya took out her cell phone and began to dial.
"Hello? Yes, Leysritt? I need you and Sella to come over to Shiro's, and –"
"It doesn't count if you just get your maids to do it!" Rin shouted, snatching the phone away from her.
And so the squabbling continued, albeit with much less malice, and helped along by the occasional taunt from Miss Taiga.
"Oh! I for one am disappointed! I was rather looking forward to seeing what Miss Tohsaka might make!"
Shiro listened to the sounds of their voices trailing off into the hall.
"They sure are noisy, aren't they?" Kotomine asked, after they'd gone.
Shiro regarded his smile with mistrust.
"What's the matter? You look troubled, my son."
Looking down, he regarded the cleaning cloth in his hands. He'd intended to polish the training hall floor while Saber was in the bath. For some reason it pleased him to think of wiping away the footprints of where they had been, but at the same time it made him uneasy.
"You know, I actually like this kind of thing . . ." he said, more to himself than anyone else. He didn't trust Kotomine. And Rin had warned him on more than one occasion to be careful of the priest. But at the same time, the old man knew things. Shiro considered carefully, wringing the cloth between his hands. And then he decided to gamble.
"I've been thinking", he said cautiously. "How do you fight something like the Holy Grail? An evil that lives longer than the lives of men? If we defeat it, here and now, fifty years from now, it will just come back. Fifty years – I'll be an old man then – too old to fight. But even if I could – in another fifty years, what then?
'I mean, what does it even want? The Grail, what is it after?
"You're asking does the Grail itself have a wish?"
Shiro nodded.
Kirei turned to the side, and considered.
"Angels and Demons have their own priorities – they have their own hierarchies and lowarchies to which they must attend. And it is unwise for mortal men to presume to delve too deeply into their affairs. But if I were to hazard a guess, if their machinations are anything like those of other living beings, then they have a need for sustenance – and a desire for longevity."
"Longevity?"
"To regenerate. To – reproduce . . ."
"To reproduce?"
"Think about it. The ritual of the Grail calls seven Masters, who summon seven Servants, whom they then use their own magical energy to sustain. One by one the Servants are defeated, and their mana goes into the Grail. The Grail then manifests, and grants a wish. And then the cycle repeats itself again.
'But you don't have any interest in any of that, do you? You're not really fighting this war. And I doubt you even have a wish"
Shiro shook his head.
"No, I'm not fighting the Holy Grail's war. But I do have a wish."
Kotomine arched an eyebrow.
"I intend to make the Grail appear – and then destroy it. I'll destroy it once and for all."
"Someone else once tried that – and with disastrous results. But you already know all about that. What you are suggesting is to defeat the Holy Grail for all of time, in every place – a noble goal, but for you alone, I fear it may be unattainable. I would suggest a less ambitions, but more realistic objective."
"And what is that?"
"Defeat this manifestation of the Grail here and now – this iteration – and then take steps to secure the existence of the future."
"And how do you suggest I do that?"
"The same as every man from the beginning of time."
Shiro stared at him blankly.
"The Lady Tohsaka is very fond of you. A union of House Emiya and House Tohsaka is not likely to be opposed by the Mages Council – not seriously at least. And the child of such a union, raised with suitable instruction, would be willing and well able to fight in the next Holy Grail War – or to have children of its own, who would be able to fight, should the timing of things return back to their more normal course – "
"Wait – you're suggesting that I sleep with Rin and get her pregnant!?" Shiro asked, surprising even Kirei with his bluntness.
"I'm SUGGESTING that you could MARRY her! I am, after all, a priest. I would be happy to officiate the ceremonies, after the two of you were old enough.
'Or if Tohsaka is not to your liking, then the daughter of the Einzbern family would also be a suitable choice."
"Illya . . ."
Kotomine nodded.
"She is devoted to you. And after your recent stunt with the BladeWorks, she seems sturdy enough."
"But what about Saber?"
"Hmm. As a Servant, her existence is tenuous at best. And it requires a great deal of mana – "
"Are you saying I should cut Saber off and just let her die because she's inefficient!?"
Kirei waved his hand to stop the tirade.
"I'm simply saying that something that can't go on forever, won't. It is unwise to presume that such a fleeting relationship will continue to exist. That, and, strictly speaking, Saber herself is not a Mage."
Shiro considered his words.
"The Mage Families of Fuyuki City – Tohsaka, Emiya, Einzbern, and Matou – "
"The Matou line is dying – "
"Then Sakura – "
"Sakura herself is fine. In their case, it's more a matter of 'To those who have it shall be given, while to those who have not . . .'
'Of course, you could always take a vow and become a priest", Kirei said, returning to his earlier mischievous smile. "But in your case, I think you'd have a lot of difficulties", he added, seeing Saber approaching.
"Shiro, the bath is all yours! The water is still hot, so – "
Seeing Kotomine, her voice trailed off.
"It's okay Saber, I was just finishing up here."
"But the water will get cold" she said, staring at Kirei frostily. "You go on. I can take care of things here."
"But you just got out of the bath yourself! I don't want you to get all sweaty again – "
"Hah! Don't worry. Contrary to popular belief, even as a King, I still brushed my own horse, polished my own sword, and even made my own bed. This is nothing – I can wipe down the floor without even breaking a sweat!"
"Okay . . ." Shiro said uncertainly.
"It's fine."
The practice hall floor may have been large, but Saber was used to vigorous exercise. True to her word, in short order she'd wiped up all of the footprints from her and Shiro's duel, though as a concession, she did forgo the usual method of running back and forth while holding the cloth to the floor, and settled for a mop.
After her bath, it was late enough in the day that, rather than getting changed, she had put on a yukata, a beautiful light blue one, printed with dragonflies. Things had been so strange of late, it felt good to relax, and the bath was so hot that it left her feeling as rejuvenated as if she'd been to a hot spring – now all she needed was a game of ping pong, though for the moment, the exercise of mopping the floor would suffice.
She certainly made a lovely sight, in her spring blue kimono, with her golden hair down, draping well past her shoulders. The effect was not lost even on Kirei.
"Truly Igraine was a woman of unparalleled beauty . . ."
"Pah!" Saber said, tossing the mop into the closet. She didn't like the old priest, but she was in an unusually good mood, and willing to spar, even with Kotomine.
"And what good did her beauty do her? What did it get her? A bloody husband – one husband murdered by another. That's what worries me for Shiro. I won't judge my mother for what she did. It's not my place. And I met Uther, and liked him.
'But Shiro is too much like Gorlois. He's noble, and kind. And he has a good heart. I don't want him to end up like Gorlois did, murdered at Tintagel by my father, for no reason other than that he had the misfortune to get mixed up with me – "
"Shiro is NOTHING like Gorlois. A fire burns in him – just look at that red hair! He's relentless in his aims – he's like a lion that won't swerve or turn aside for anyone. It's a relentlessness that could turn to ruthlessness. He's much more like Uther – that and he's infatuated with you."
"He is not!"
"Yes he is! He'd do anything to keep you near him – "
"Shiro would NEVER compromise his principles."
"He'd compromise the WORLD to make it fit with his principles. He's infatuated with you. And you're infatuated with him – "
"I am not!"
"Yes you are! You're Igraine's daughter, and you've got her beauty, but you're Uther's daughter too. You've got that desire. Why do your cheeks flame red when you're with him?"
"He makes me angry . . ." Saber said, turning away.
"Angry? Is that what you call it? I saw the way you went running off to the bath after you were with him."
"I had to wash off the sweat. It was distasteful."
"Was it sweat? Or the perfume of your desire?"
"YOU GO TOO FAR!"
"And you won't go far enough."