Blake is trying to sit in the library in peace. Of course, there are a bunch of stupid people who have decided the library is a good place to have a shouting match. Sun showed up to comfort her, and then Yang showed up and before she could actually say anything Weiss showed up and insulted her for making stupid decisions, and obviously that took like five seconds to turn into a fight.

"If you had communicated slightly more clearly, none of this would have happened!" Weiss screams.

"You're going to talk to me about clear communication? Your attempt to convince the two or three people who knew about the kiss that we weren't dating made the entire school think we were dating! How is it physically possible to fail worse than that?"

"Ladies, let's just calm down," Sun says, and Weiss brushes him out of the way and shoves Yang. It's not a hard impact, but Yang takes a step backward anyway. Blake is very strongly tempted to go slap Weiss, but she doesn't because she is a nice person who doesn't punch her teammates.

"Sorry, what exactly is this argument about?" Blake asks.

Weiss cuts herself off in mid-shriek and turns to face Blake, scowling.

"Everyone thought we were dating, and I was force to come up with several excellent plans to convince people we weren't dating. Simple."

"Everybody only thought we were dating because your first plan failed," Yang points out, but Blake is barely listening.

Weiss and Yang aren't dating. Apparently they never were. And now they're back to their old habits of bickering constantly, which is annoying but it's a lot better than the alternative.

"But I saw you two kiss," Blake points out, because she's very good at ruining things. Yang winces.

"Yang was drunk!" Weiss snaps. "She's an irresponsible person who makes bad decisions when inebriated and can't hold her liquor!"

That's it. Blake is still not entirely sure what's going on, but she's going to take Yang's side.

"Weiss, I'm sure Yang feels very bad about it, and I'm sure it won't happen again," she says. De-escalating a conflict has never been one of her strong points, but that's what she's going to do.

Weiss purses her lips and scans them for a second.

"Don't defend her just because you're in lo–"

Change of plans. Blake is escalating this.

Weiss ducks the slap and Blake lands a glancing blow to her ponytail, but her eyes light up with fury regardless. She screams something incoherent and brings Myrtenaster around in a sweep that Blake barely dodges, then creates an ominous-looking black rune on the floor.

"What are you –" Sun asks, then the only sound in Blake's ears is the glass window that used to be behind her shattering around her.

Blake's first thought is thank the gods we were only on the second floor.

Her second thought is more of an incoherent scream of panic.

Blake tries to gather her wits by observing small details. The sky is above her, and it's a nice blue except where it's covered by Beacon (now minus one formerly very nice window). She's covered in small cuts from the glass, but her Aura is knitting them together and there won't be any real damage. The ground jolted her, but she didn't fall that far, and she landed on her back so the weight is evenly distributed.

The metaphorical elephant, and the object of Blake's panic, reasserts herself by shifting her weight slightly, but making no move to get up. Yang Xiao Long, who is honestly just so unreasonably, unfairly, hot, is just staying there, straddling Blake in the same position they somehow fell into.

Blake has thought about the many ways she might die fairly often. Generally, the most likely options were "killed by White Fang", "killed by Grimm", and "killed by miscellaneous hostile forces", with "get killed by Ozpin and his stupid training" a close contender. "Spontaneous heart attack due to teammate's legs" was never seriously considered. Until now.

Yang must see Blake panicking, because she leans in a little and speaks.

"I'm sorry."

"Oh, no, it's fine, the ground is pretty comfortable here." The ground is not comfortable, but any movement will bring Blake into closer contact with Yang's thighs, and that's a problem far worse than a few rocks and a possibly broken spine.

"No. I'm sorry about how I've acted. The whole team screwed up and communicated badly and hurt you, but most of it was my fault."

She's still not getting off of Blake, and heartfelt conversations are fine but not when Blake is literally dying.

"I get why you've been avoiding us. You're worried about the team, and you're worried that if I'm close to the rest of the team, you're going to get left out. But it's okay, Blake. We're friends, no matter what."

Ouch.

Blake composes herself and pretends that she doesn't have a whole host of inconvenient emotions for someone who is this fucking stupid.

"Don't worry about it. I'm just glad everything got sorted out," she manages. "And, hey, if you ever need me to protect you from Weiss, just say the word."

"Aww, thank you."

"Hey, what are friends for?" Blake tries to smile at Yang. It probably comes across as about to murder your whole family rather than having fun joking around with a platonic friend, but that's how it goes.

Yang finally gets up, and extends a hand to Blake, and Blake brushes herself off and resigns herself to another year or so of hoping that staring at a girl and expecting her to notice Blake's brand-new makeover is the same as expressing her feelings.

A/N: Yes, I did in fact keep you waiting for a month and then give you a finale in which a particularly important misunderstanding is never resolved. I'm so sorry.

I lied. I'm not sorry.

But we're at the end of this story, for better or worse. Let me know if you liked it, or didn't. Feel free to check out my other stories, or request that I write something for you.

All the best,

Jezebel