They didn't talk about the kiss when they woke up.
Byleth had opened her eyes to the worst hangover she'd had in years. And Mercedes was sleeping in the bed next to her. The woman was already awake, face turned to Byleth.
The professor looked at the student and the memory came back to her. A kiss, a drunken one where Byleth had probably just slobbered all over Mercedes. It wasn't like Byleth had ever been with someone. Well, that was a lie. There had been a man or woman here or there, but it wasn't like she cared about them.
They hadn't been a friend like Mercedes.
Byleth tried to approach the issue, but Mercedes had beat her to something else. "I'll join your Deer," she said.
"Why?" It was honestly the first possible thing she could think to ask.
"Because I think it'd be a good fit for me. And I'd like to have a teacher who is a friend," Mercedes said, voice twisting on the word 'friend'.
The bell tolled in the distance. She counted the number and cursed. "Dammit, I'm late," Byleth muttered, throwing the covers off the bed.
And revealing her and Mercedes' naked bodies.
Oh.
She moved her leg to feel. Yep, those sheets were dirty.
Neither said anything, Mercedes staring at Byleth for a response.
"I'm sorry, I don't remember doing…that," Byleth whispered.
A look of hurt passed over the woman's face, but she covered it up. "I'm not surprised, you were pretty far gone at that point. Drunk, I mean. You passed out after the kiss, but woke back up a bit after."
"I didn't…" Byleth waved a hand, afraid what could have happened.
"No!" Mercedes nearly shouted, before slapping a hand over her mouth. If someone heard her in Byleth's room, that'd be the end of their time at the academy. "No, you were actually very sweet about it all. Made sure to go slowly and everything with me. You did nothing wrong."
"Oh," Byleth said. Relief washed over her. "I need to get going." It was all she could think to say.
Mercedes nodded and slipped out of the bed. "I ought to as well, I'm late too."
"Leave after me." Her mind switched from its uncertainty to a tactical approach. That, at least, she could do. "You were late because you overslept."
"And you were late because of your day yesterday," Mercedes supplied. She paused for a moment. "We should speak later about," she waved a hand to the bed, "this. Unless there's nothing to talk about?"
An option of rejection, Byleth realized. Kind to a fault, Mercedes was offering her an out.
Did she want it?
No, Byleth thought. Mercedes was her friend.
But was that all she was? Was that all she'd ever be to Byleth?
"We'll talk later. Let's meet by the fishing pond tonight." Why did she have to not remember their night? Byleth could hardly remember the kiss. Did Sothis remember?
If you find yourself in the position where you are the passenger in someone else's body, I think you'll find you try to block out every single detail possible when it comes to this.
Byleth couldn't fault that.
Though she did seem to enjoy her night, from how she sounded.
Byleth blinked. Mercedes smiled. "Tonight sounds good, after dark. You better get going."
They both quickly got dressed and Byleth threw her hair up in a ponytail so it looked less like sex-hair. Her outfit, as usual, took far too long to put on. Mercedes helped her with her cloak and pecked her cheek as she was close.
"We'll talk about my transfer tonight as well," Mercedes said.
Goddess, Byleth had already forgotten about that. "For sure. I'll see you tonight."
"Could you honestly blame her if she doesn't show up?" Leonie asked the class.
They'd been in their seats for the better part of half an hour. Normally, Claude and Hilda would have encouraged them leaving by now, but Teach was never late. Well, never this late. And circumstances had never been as they were.
"I wouldn't," Raphael said. "If I was feeling like she was, I doubt I'd be eager to teach. Maybe she went to the dining hall instead when it was emptier."
Raphael wasn't talking about food. All the Deer had felt it this morning. Eyes were on them at breakfast. They sat together, and there wasn't a single other student at their long table. Initially, Claude had been excited that everyone sat together in their house. They talked about their plans to stick up for Byleth and who might give her trouble.
Claude hated to admit that he hadn't thought the same trouble might visit them. He'd been thinking solely about his teacher, someone who no doubt would face scorn.
But then he saw an Eagle look at Ignatz with distrust. At Ignatz.
There were some Knights who got the same look, but they were Knights. Students didn't dare openly resent them. But some unspoken memo said the Deer were fair game.
Some, of course, didn't share the animosity. He caught Dorothea looking their direction, contemplative. Annette looked like she was considering sitting by them with Mercedes' absence. Dedue gave him an impassive stare.
Others, not so much. Edelgard passed judgement on him as he locked eyes with her. Dimitri evaded meeting his eyes. Lysithea ignoring him.
"Regardless how everyone thinks of us, we have each other," Claude said.
Hilda rolled her eyes. "Corny, von Riegan."
"He's right though," Ignatz spoke up. "We're the Golden Deer and friends. Even if the rest of the school isn't a fan of us, we've got each other for support."
Hilda was saved from teasing Ignatz too as Byleth pushed open the doors. Claude took one look at her and quirked an eyebrow. Her hair was a mess, she looked exhausted and even her clothes were haphazardly put on. She must have a rough night.
"Good morning," Byleth said, practically falling into her chair. "Apologies for being late, I…lost track of time."
"Professor, do not worry. I kept them all in line in your absence," Lorenz said.
Byleth chuckled. "Thanks, I appreciate it."
Silence hung in the air as no one responded and Byleth stared at her desk. Hilda shifted uncomfortably next to him, looking like she itched to break it but didn't know how.
"If any of you want to transfer, you're welcome to it," Byleth said quietly. "I won't blame you or hold it against you."
"What?" Raphael blurted.
Their teacher blinked. "I mean, I can't imagine you'd want to be in this house after yesterday."
"Teach," Claude called out. "Do you mind if I speak for all of us for a second?" He pushed on, not waiting for a response. "You're stuck with us. We don't give a rat's ass what everyone else thinks. You're our teacher, we're your fawns. We're here with you, whether you like it or not."
Byleth smiled. Actually smiled. Claude thought he was dreaming for a moment. Had she ever smiled? It looked good on her.
"The rest of you think that?" she asked the class.
There was a chorus of agreement. Smiles, ranging from wide with Raphael to subtle from Marianne.
"Oh." And she genuinely seemed surprised. As if the very thought hadn't occurred to her that they would still want to be around her. Bile rose in Claude's throat as annoyance grew. Annoyance at Byleth for not seeing that they cared for her, but mostly for whatever life was responsible for her thinking that way.
"Well," Byleth said and the air felt lighter in the room. "I suppose I should teach you something then. Ignatz, can you tell me the benefits and shortcomings of fighting in fog?"
As Ignatz answered, Claude wondered if he should approach her to ask how she was doing. They had something of a relationship, playing their game at least once a week. Was that enough to facilitate asking, 'Hey, Teach, you feeling okay after executing a student's adoptive father?'
Probably not. But he didn't particularly care. He settled on a compromise, waiting until their next meeting to talk.
Manuela hadn't been pleased with her tardiness, but at least she hadn't asked any questions. Annette, on the other hand, clearly had been waiting all class to corner her.
"Mercie, you're never late! What's up?" Annette said the moment they stepped outside of the classroom doors.
She didn't respond, instead looking Ashe in the eyes for the first time since last night. "Hang on a moment, Annie." As she walked towards him, he stopped.
There was apprehension on his face, anxiety. But there wasn't regret amidst the anger he still wore.
"Mercedes," he said, politely. Sylvain, who had walked out after Ashe, took one look at the two of them and began to relentlessly tease Felix. All other attention drew towards him as he led the other Lions away.
"Would you tell me what you were doing in her room last night?" she asked quietly, aware that Annette stood not too far away.
"It was nothing, Mercedes," he replied, breaking eye contact.
Mercedes shook her head. "Nothing doesn't have a woman in tears, Ashe. What did you say to her? And don't tell me nothing. We all saw yesterday."
His eyes narrowed, as did his tone. "Whose side are you on, Mercedes? That woman," he spat, "killed my father. And you'd show sympathy to her?"
"I understand you're angry, but that does not give you excuse to take it out on her. Two wrongs do not make a right," she said.
Ashe blinked. "Why were you there, Mercedes?"
She blanched. "That's not the point here, Ashe."
He took a step towards her. "Leave it alone, Mercedes, and I won't bother you with whatever tryst you have going on with her." Ashe stepped back, and walked away in a huff.
Mercedes felt sick. Surely it was an empty insult, that he was just angry and lashing out. He couldn't know, could he? Right?
If the Archbishop found out? If Seteth found out? She'd be kicked out of the academy. Byleth too.
And her father would be furious.
"Mercie?" Annette murmured as she stepped closer. "What was that about?"
Mercedes wasn't so naïve to think it was love. But it was something, something more than a crush. She was drawn to Byleth.
Did Ashe know? Had he eavesdropped? And if he knew, who else could?
Had…had she been loud?
"Mercie, your face is all red, what's wrong?" Annette asked, worry in her eyes. She grabbed her hand, squeezing it.
Goddess, she'd made a mistake.
"Annie," she whispered, "was anyone talking about me in class? Like where I was?"
"I mean, they were wondering where you were, but there weren't any specifics," she said after a moment's thought. "Why?"
Good. She knew how kids were with gossip. If word was out, Annette would have heard. All she had to do was make sure it didn't happen again.
Byleth on top of her, kissing her. It was sloppy, but Goddess had it felt real. The way she looked at her, that way that Byleth looked at her like the rest of the world had melted away. It made her feel beautiful.
Her heart hurt. Maybe it was love.
But it couldn't happen again.
"Mercie, you're scaring me. Please tell me what's wrong?" Annette pled. Were those tears in her eyes?
Mercedes hugged her. "Oh, Annie, it's okay. My heart is just a bit broken, that's all."
Annette's eyes widened. "Oh my gosh, who? I mean, like who so I can beat them up!" Annette went on about what she'd do to the 'evil man' who broke her dear Mercie's heart. She didn't think the orange haired girl was capable of most of those things from a moral standpoint, but it was a nice distraction.
No need to tell her that it was Mercedes who broke her own heart. For both hers and Byleth's safety.
Some of the memories had trickled back to her. Just mere moments. Byleth leaning down to kiss Mercedes. A hand running down her back. Mercedes' perfume.
Byleth's head between her legs.
She'd remembered enough to recall enjoying it. And thankfully there wasn't a soul to see her red face as she sat by the fishing pond, bare feet kissing the water.
Until Mercedes sat down beside her. She took off her shoes and let her feet touch the water as well. And for a while, that was all that happened. Neither said anything, content to look up to the stars instead.
"I don't know how to start this," admitted Byleth.
Mercedes nodded. "I doubt many would. I've been thinking a lot about last night, though."
"I have too," Byleth said. "More of it came back to me."
She felt Mercedes tense next to her. "Anything specific?"
"I enjoyed it," Byleth said honestly. It felt inadequate. How do you describe that being with someone who actually appreciates you was better than not? She wasn't Claude, there wasn't a silver tongue between her lips.
It didn't seem to be what Mercedes wanted to hear. She drew into herself.
Byleth noticed. "Did I say something wrong? I thought you liked it too."
"I did. But it's possible someone might know about us," Mercedes said. Her voice wavered, quivered, with worry.
Ice ran through her veins. "Who?"
"Ashe. He and I got into…it doesn't matter. He made a comment that I didn't know was in jest or not."
Byleth was silent.
"I know the academy rules, just as you do. What we did is against academy policy. We just saw how the Church gives out punishment, what if that happened to us?" Mercedes was shaking now. Terrified. Byleth had no idea what to do.
"They won't kill us for this," she said with certainty.
Mercedes shook her head. "Of course not, but you'd lose your position. I'd lose my place here. My father would be displeased. And my mother would be crushed."
"So where does that leave us?" Byleth asked, surprised to hear how small her voice sounded.
"I have no idea. We can't do that again, it's too risky." She sighed. "And here I am still with feelings for you." Her laughter was soft, but pained.
Byleth wrapped her into a hug, acting on instinct. She bit her lip. Did she have feelings for Mercedes? Or was it just her caring for the woman as a friend?
She'd never understood feelings. In fact, she'd never felt like this before. Never. There had been people interested in her before, people that weren't bad to look at. But there hadn't been even a sliver of affection for them. Not even a curiosity for it.
Byleth hadn't felt affection for anyone aside from her father before she came to the monastery. She'd known mercenaries for years and she'd never particularly cared about them. What had changed? Now she cared about her students as if they were her own children. And she'd barely known them for a few months. Her pride when one of them grasped something difficult, that was foreign to her. And now she sat, holding a woman, and wondering if the dread she felt was for the fact that they couldn't continue.
And it clicked.
Sothis. Sothis had appeared in her head when it all started.
In clarity, sense came to Byleth for the first time in a while. "Perhaps after you graduate, we could try?"
Mercedes looked up at her and there was hope in her eyes. "That…that could work." Some of her energy and cheer had returned to her voice, hesitant like it threatened to evaporate.
Byleth bent down and kissed Mercedes and the woman melted into her arms. They held onto it as long as they could before Byleth pulled back, wishing it could go on longer.
"Something to make up for being drunk for the first time. Something a beautiful woman deserves," Byleth said, looking back up to the sky to avoid the embarrassment.
Mercedes began to laugh. And she continued to, clutching her stomach as she kept laughing. It was a nice sound.
"Byleth Eisner, you can be rather romantic, in a way. I like this side to you. With that, I think I can be patient." Mercedes smiled and Byleth thought she looked radiant in the moonlight.
In case you hadn't put it together, you have feelings for her. And don't you dare blame me for emotions, they're yours, not mine!
Byleth ignored her.
Instead, she said, "If anyone asks about tonight, tell them we talked about switching houses." Byleth reached into a satchel and pulled out a few pieces of paper. "I picked these up from Seteth today after a meeting. All you have to do is fill them out."
Mercedes picked them up slowly. Goddess, what did Byleth call Mercie now? Lover? Companion? Student?
She settled on friend.
"I'll miss some of the Lions," Mercedes admitted as she folded the papers and tucked them in one of her uniform's pockets.
Byleth nodded. "Well, feel free to invite them to come join the Deer."
Her friend thought about that for a moment, then shook her head. "On second thought, I think it might be nicer to spend time with some other people." She muttered something under her breath, but all Byleth caught was something about Ashe. "I'll let Annie know, though. Perhaps she'd like the Deer."
"I'm glad you're joining us." Byleth smiled.
Mercedes returned it. "I am too. It'll take some getting used to. Golden Deer," she said, as if trying it on for size.
"Welcome to the herd," Byleth said with a hint of laughter. Mercedes joined in.
Claude had invited the professor to have lunch with them. Hilda didn't mind, the more the merrier. But when Byleth had said she'd bring the newest addition to their class with her, that piqued Hilda's interest.
Especially when she saw how their teacher and Mercedes looked at each other.
No one else noticed. Everyone was far too preoccupied with the newest fawn. Hilda doubted any of the men would pick up on it. Leonie wasn't the most adept at romance. And Marianne…well, maybe she would. But the poor girl would never say anything about it.
Which meant Hilda was left to consider what that meant.
Was she a gossip? Maybe. It was what had drawn her to Claude as a friend. Claude horded secrets of all kinds, Hilda lorded over a trove of gossip like a dragon. There was no impulse to share any of it, just a desire to know.
Even back home she'd held her fair share of snippets of noble gossip. Holst was the Alliance's most eligible bachelor. For all his strengths, his emotional intelligence was not one of them. The man was a dog in the best ways, loyal, strong, smart, friendly, and downright oblivious. So Hilda had quite enjoyed watching him struggle with suitors. The various men and women who tried to court her brother were met with a stone wall of emotion. Somehow, they found that romantic. Aloof, they called it. Mysterious, they whispered.
Dumb, she preferred.
But she knew when someone looked at another with desire. And she knew the difference between wanting to jump in their bed for a romp and the kind that had love. These two had the latter.
And Hilda stayed silent on the matter, letting everyone fawn over Mercedes. Hilda wouldn't deny she'd make a good addition. Their magical prowess was split between Lorenz and Marianne, both of whom favored magic and a physical weapon. With Mercedes, they'd have someone who could be their magical ace in the hole. And she was nice, perfect to sluff chores off to.
"Please, call me Mercie," she said with a giggle as Raphael tripped over her name in excitement when he learned she was an adept cook.
Gosh, she just was cute as a button. Hilda could see what the professor saw in her.
"Hilda?" Marianne whispered to her. "Is something wrong?"
Hilda blinked in surprise as Marianne looked at her. None of the rest of the Deer were paying attention. "Of course not, Marianne. Well, if you must know, I am dreading my chores this afternoon in the library. They have delicate ol' me stacking books. How revolting!"
Marianne giggled. Actually giggled. "Would you like some help? I have a free evening."
Batting her eyelashes, Hilda smirked. Ah, a victim. Though thinking of Marianne like that felt wrong, somehow. Her henchwoman? Minion? Hmm, wrong too. Savior? Nah. She'd think on it.
"Oh, that would just be the best, Mari!" Hilda cheered.
Marianne opened her mouth to reply, but all chatter at the table ceased. The Deer all looked up at Dimitri and Edelgard standing over their table. The rest of the dining hall had quieted down, eyes directed at them.
"Mercedes," Dimitri greeted. "Are you sure you wish to turn your back on the Lions?" He seemed melancholic about it, like saying good bye to a friend.
"It's nothing wrong with you, Dimitri," Mercedes said diplomatically. "This class just seems better suited for me."
Dimitri frowned, but said nothing else. Instead, Edelgard spoke up, "Transferring to another class is nothing to be ashamed of. Lysithea is succeeding among the Black Eagles. I'm sure this change will be good for Mercedes."
The future king balked and made to say something. Edelgard plowed over him. "However, I invite all of you to consider learning amongst the Black Eagles. We'll welcome anyone who wishes to come."
Hilda had a feeling that Dimitri hadn't known Edelgard was going to pitch her class. What had he thought she'd say?
"I'm sure every student will come to their own conclusion of where they would like to learn," Byleth said without emotion. At least it looked like no emotion, but Hilda saw a hint of anger. So the professor was bothered by Lysithea leaving. Good.
Edelgard nodded. "Of course. Though it goes without saying, as the future Emperor of Adrestia, I would love to be surrounded by capable people. Service is never forgotten in Adrestia. Unlike your house leader, I have no doubt in my inheritance."
Claude stiffened next to her.
"Edelgard, that is uncalled for," Dimitri said, turning on her. "We came here to ask for a truce, no more poaching students from anyone."
"You came over here to do that. I came for my own reasons," she said simply. "Anything to say, Claude?"
"Only that my inheritance is just as sound as yours," Claude said. Hilda could see irritation, anger in him. One of his hands was clenched under the table. She reached out and grabbed it, hoping to give her friend comfort.
"Oh? Care to share the nature of your birth, then? I must admit, I am very curious to it. It has to be quite the story if you keep it secret." Edelgard wore a smirk that said more than she did. She was just as much a schemer as Claude.
Then, of all people, Lorenz stood up. He stared directly at Edelgard as the entire dining hall looked on at the conversation. "Edelgard, you shame yourself in front of all your peers here. In Leicester, we understand that some things are our own secrets to keep. Perhaps Adrestia has suffered under autocracy for so long that you have forgotten this, but I would have thought that the Insurrection of the Seven ought to have jogged your memory on what people think of your family's rule."
And the smirk on her face was gone. With a glare cold enough to freeze hell, Edelgard stared down the son of Gloucester.
"Perhaps you're one to talk. Bothered that your family's chance of success was thwarted by some outsider with a Crest? Sad you can't make daddy proud by leading the Alliance?" Edelgard growled.
Lorenz's eyes flashed as he tried to keep his cool. "Perhaps with how desperate you are for new students, it shows how little you trust your own subjects after the insurrection."
Byleth stood up, moving between them as Edelgard moved closer to Lorenz. "Enough, you two."
"I don't need orders from the Archbishop's dog," Edelgard seethed. She didn't back down.
Claude stood up, his hand leaving Hilda's. Leonie did as well. "Take it back," Leonie said.
"What, the truth?" Edelgard said with a grin. "I'd never lie."
"Enough," a new voice spoke.
Shamir had materialized behind Dimitri. Had she been there all along? Hilda hadn't even seen her approach.
"All of you, go back to your seats," Shamir ordered. "If you don't like taking orders from one of Rhea's dogs, I'm sure we can arrange a meeting between you and her to discuss it."
Dimitri hardly needed convincing, he'd looked like he wanted to leave for a while. Edelgard fixed Shamir with a hard look before walking away. Byleth sat down without a word, followed by Leonie. Claude threw an angry look towards the future Emperor before following suit.
Lorenz nodded. "Your intervention is appreciated, Shamir."
"I was talking to you too. Sit down, shut up. I come to the dining hall to relax, not hear noble squabbling. If you have a problem with someone, arrange a training bout. You fight in here, I'll make you regret it," Shamir growled.
Lorenz sat down quickly, cowed.
"Professor," Shamir said in a lighter tone. Or at least as light as Shamir could be. She reached into a pocket and pulled out a scroll. "A message from your father. He says he'll be away from the monastery for a while. He wishes you luck with your next month's mission."
Byleth wordlessly accepted the scroll and slipped it into a pocket. Shamir turned around and went back to where she was sitting. Hilda watched her and saw her keep Byleth in her line of sight. Not the Deer, just Byleth.
Claude was rubbing off on her. She saw schemes everywhere. Still, she didn't dismiss it.
"Well, I suppose I picked quite the eventful house," Mercedes said lightly.
Raphael and Ignatz laughed before doing their best to resume conversation. Leonie turned to Lorenz, "You've got a quicker tongue than I expected."
He chuckled. "I merely presented the facts." Still, the compliment warmed him, she could tell.
Claude reached out and grabbed Byleth's hand for support. Hilda raised her eyebrows. "You okay, Teach?"
"I'll be fine. Thank you, Claude," she smiled. Her gaze turned briefly to Mercedes and they shared a private smile as the rest of the Deer settled back into their chatter.
Hilda tried to ignore all the eyes on her house. She felt even further away from the rest of the students than she did yesterday.
Author Notes: This chapter is brought to you by a silly lesbian who has made hasty decisions when it comes to women before. I see you, Mercie and Byleth.
Serious talk for a second. Obviously we got some Mercie/By here. I detest talking about my future plans as it ruins tension, but the pairing in this fic is Claude/Byleth. I will not elaborate on that except that I am adamantly against love triangles. You can do the math.
Editing Notes:
2/12/2021: Minor grammatical adjustments. Changed some of the wording in the Mercie/By scenes to better communicate my original intention with the scenes.
4/14/2021: I spelled Riegan wrong.
7/29/2021: Minor grammar adjustments.