Fate Stay Night – Unlimited Boob Works
Chapter 15
"I SAID I'm going with you!"
"AND I SAID YOU'RE NOT! AND THAT'S FINAL!"
Illya and Sakura stared in horror at the shouting match that had developed between Shiro and Rin.
The conversation had started out amiably enough.
After they had gotten back that night, they had all gone to bed. Leysritt and Sella had originally intended to make Illya go back to Castle Einzbern, but under the circumstances, decided not to press the issue. There had been no discussion, only a wordless agreement, after which they had each gone to their own rooms.
The next day, they got up, and met in the small living room beside the kitchen, where they sat around the table while Sakura made breakfast – or dinner – or whatever a meal might be called at such a wretched hour – and then afterwards made tea.
Shiro and Illya sat at one end of the table, while Rin sat at the other. Her old, faithful red sweater was looking rather lived in. It was very wrinkled – she made no attempt to conceal the fact that she'd slept in her clothes, and had not bothered even to put up her hair. Instead she sat with it down, draped over her shoulders, and held her glass running her finger around the edge idly.
For a moment she looked thoughtful. Then she put her hand to her mouth, and made a small, polite cough into her fist.
"Hmm – mmm – Miss Illyasviel tells me she discovered something rather interesting the other night."
Sakura looked at her questioningly, as if to ask,
'Are we really going to do this?'
But Rin remained where she was, staring ahead blankly, as she circled her finger around the rim of her glass.
Illya glanced at Shiro as he sat lifelessly, then swallowed hard.
"When Father and I were out investigating, we noticed something – strange – about Ryudo temple . . ."
"Oh?"
Rin arched an eybrow, looking over at Shiro.
"That's where your friend Issei lives . . ."
Shiro made no response.
Illya went on.
"I didn't get the chance to say anything, what with everything that – happened . . . but – when we were investigating the area around the temple, we found something strange. Actually it was what we didn't find that was unusual. Normally old places like that have strong magic energy. Even if no practicing Mage ever lived there, just the action of all the people coming and going builds up a signature. And the surrounding area did have trace amounts of magical energy. But when we looked at the temple itself – "
Illya glanced at Shiro, who remained staring blankly forward.
" – there was nothing at all. It was as though the temple and its grounds weren't even there."
Rin sat back and folded her arms.
"Ryudo is old – AND it sits on a ley line. A place like that has to have a magic signature – even if it's only a latent one. For it to not register any magical energy at all – "
"Means that someone is concealing their presence there", Archer finished, smirking as he materialized behind her.
"Oh!" Rin said with a start. "You always appear only when you're NOT wanted!"
Archer feigned being hurt. Rin scowled.
"That can only mean one of two things. Either there's a Servant there. Or a Master."
Archer closed one eye, and nodded his agreement. Rin leaned back, and stretched her arms.
"If the past war is any indication, then the Servant is probably Caster. Maybe Shiro is right, and this whole war is actually much smaller than I had first thought. Still, I wonder who the Master is? It's not Souichiro-sensei, so who could it possibly be?"
Archer folded his arms and leaned against the doorway.
"Well, there's one way to find out."
"Agreed. We have our target. Now we just have to wait until night fall. Tonight, we go to Ryudo. Sakura, you come with me. Illya, will you be all right with Kiritsugu?"
"I can go . . ."
"It embarrasses me to admit it, but out of all of us, you're probably the strongest Master. And while it doesn't really suit him, Kiritsugu IS a Berserker – "
"I can go . . ." Shiro repeated weakly, making them all look over at him. "I can go with Illya . . ."
"Oh NO you're not", Rin said, putting her hands on her hips. "You're in no condition to fight – "
"I'll be fine – "
"Someone has to hold down the fort. You just stay here, and – "
"The HELL I will – "
"This is a matter involving the Holy Grail War – it no longer concerns you!"
"I SAID I'M GOING!"
"And *I* said you're NOT – YOU don't even have a SERVANT anymore!"
Illya and Sakura looked on in horror, shocked that Rin could say something so callous. But instead of being hurt, Shiro only shouted even more.
"I SAID I'M GOING WITH YOU !"
"AND I SAID YOU'RE NOT ! AND THAT'S FINAL !"
For a moment the two of them stood, hands clenched at their sides, as they glared in one another's face.
"Best to let him go", Archer said calmly.
"You stay out of this!" Rin shouted.
"It won't do to have him running off by himself. And worrying about him would only be a distraction –"
"Who said anything about worrying!?"
" – At least if he's with us, we can keep an eye on him."
Rin glared at Archer, then at Shiro, then back at Archer again.
"You are SO STUBBORN!" she shouted, throwing her hands up over head, before folding them across her chest.
'Fine! He can go. I OUGHT to use a Command Seal, and order YOU to stay here, and to keep HIM with you – then I wouldn't have to worry about EITHER of you . . ."
"Look, don't think I don't get what you're trying to do – "
Archer looked at Rin, who was sitting on the couch with her legs drawn up, and her arms wrapped around them.
" – I know even better than you do just how stubborn that boy can be. But he needs time to grieve – They all do."
"I get that", Rin said, peeking out from behind her knees. "Don't you think I GET that? Of COURSE I do. It's just – we have to keep moving. If we falter now, EVERYTHING will fall apart. We HAVE to keep moving – "
Archer crouched down to look at her at eye level.
"You're scared."
Rin cut her eyes to the side.
"I am not – "
"Yes you are. You're scared that if he goes out like this, something will happen to him, and – "
"I am NOT scared – I'm TERRIFIED. I'm terrified that if he goes out like this – If anything were to happen to him – first Dad – then Mom – "
Her voice trailed off in a sniffle.
" – I can't lose him. I just CAN'T – "
"Hey . . ."
" – that – and – I'm terrified he'll hate me."
"That boy could never hate you. If there's ONE thing I can tell you – "
"You CAN'T say that – not for certain. In the last Grail War, we changed things. We changed the path that Shiro's on. And that's a GOOD thing. But you don't know what he's feeling now. Neither of us do. And I'm terrified that he'll hate me. That he'll blame me for – "
"No one blames you for what happened – "
"YES they do. Of COURSE they do! How could they not? And I blame myself. I'm always acting so smart – but in the end I'm an even bigger IDIOT than he is – if only I'd been more careful. If only I'd thought things through – "
Archer smirked.
"You can't take credit for EVERYTHING that's happened. OR the BLAME. You don't seriously expect me to believe that everything that's happened up until now has been YOUR doing – that it was all part of some Master plan? You're a very accomplished Master. But even YOU aren't THAT talented."
Rin glared.
"I suppose you're right", she said, letting out another small sniffle. "I guess even the great Rin Tohsaka has her limits."
Shiro looked down the hall, finding it at once strange, yet vaguely familiar. A blanket was around his shoulders, part of a futon – someone had put it there – he thought it was Illya – and he pulled at tighter, as the air was cold.
The hall stretched away into the distance, its polished wood bounded on one side by the sliding doors that led into the interior rooms, and on the other by a series of glass panels that overlooked the garden. An old wooden chest stood by the door that lead out to the courtyard beyond.
For a moment he looked with affection at the old cabinet. It was a peculiarly Japanese object, and served to emphasize the traditional character of the Emiya estate. Rather than being made up of one piece, it was actually several different chests of different shapes and sizes, each with its own separate drawers and compartments.
"Man, it's been so long – I don't even remember what's in here – " Shiro thought, suddenly feeling very lax in his role as the heir of the Emiya estate. Pulling out one of the drawers, he found an assortment of old keys, tarnished from disuse, and a handful of coins, brown from the passage of time. Along with them was a scroll, depicting a pine tree, together with the character for "resolve" that he'd been given one year at school for Boy's day.
Shiro regarded it for a moment, then rolled up the scroll and tucked it back in one of the drawers. The old chest had stood in the hall for as long as he could remember, its many compartments a fitting representation of the many and varied components of his father's life.
In the summer, the hall would be sweltering, almost unbearably hot, while in the winter – like now – it was freezing. It was a wonder the wood didn't warp and crack, but somehow it just went on, expanding and contracting, but otherwise unaffected by the passage of time. He could remember that when he was younger, the boxes had been laid out differently. They used to be rearranged several times a year, but since his Father had died, no one had touched them, and they had remained in their current configuration. In some older houses, the chests would double as stairs, but he had never seen anything like that –
" . . . here", he said, his eyes travelling up to a faint outline in the ceiling.
"I don't remember this being here before . . ."
But looking closer, there was no mistaking it. What he had at first assumed to be a false molding marked one edge of a line with a pair of corners at either end that formed a small panel set in the ceiling. Carefully Shiro moved a small vase with fake flowers in the shape of a traditional arrangement, then placed one foot on the old chest. He was worried if it would support his weight, but it seemed sturdy enough, so he climbed up one step, two steps. By now his back was against the ceiling, and he could feel the heat pooling all around him.
Pressing up, for a moment the old panel refused to give, and he wondered if it were locked, but with a little more effort, he heard a crack, and felt it move.
Immediately there was a change in atmospheres. The air was warm, tinged with old tobacco, and the dust of age. Reaching up, he found a cord hanging down from an exposed light fixture, but even before he pulled it, he already knew what this place was.
"This is a magician's workshop . . ."
Evidently it had not been used in the Grail War, as there was no summoning circle, but it was stacked with boxes, most of them cardboard, but a few of the crates were made of plastic, with re-enforced clasps and thick hinges that were very serious and sturdy looking. Off to the right one of Father's old coats cast a long shadow.
Shiro approached one of the crates that stood on a small table. He had a vague feeling that he was trespassing, and might see something he shouldn't.
The clasp opened with a click.
There on a bed of grey eggshell foam was a large pistol. Its proportions were strange, with a rectangular guard and octagonal barrel. Looking at it, Shiro recognized it as one of the same ones his Father had used when Illya had first summoned him, and then again later, in his fight with Assassin.
It certainly was a strange weapon. Part of the stock and handle were made of wood, organic and warm, while the barrel and trigger were metal and cold. At the bottom of the trigger guard was a long flange. Pulling it, Shiro heard a loud click as the barrel broke apart, tipping forward and down. Looking at it, he could see the empty chamber.
"What, is it only one shot?"
For a moment his mind filled with the idea of how easy it would be to put a bullet in the chamber, then put the tip of the barrel underneath his chin, and –
He shook his head to dismiss the thought.
"I could never do that to Illya – "
The contents of the next case were just as strange as the last one. He was unable to tell if the weapon inside was a large pistol, or a small rifle. It was very futuristic looking, made almost entirely of black plastic. With no clip of any kind, it might as well have fired lasers for all he knew. On top was a large round cylinder.
"I wonder if this is where the bullets go?"
Along with the pistol, the case also held several other attachments – an adjustable shoulder stock, and various chutes and bagging devices, evidently meant for catching spent shell casings.
The last case was much longer than the others, and heavier too. Flipping the clasps, Shiro found it contained a strange rifle, unlike anything he had ever seen. It had a large scope and squared stock, so that the barrel and trigger all sat nestled within the body.
"How do you even hold this thing?" he asked, trying to make sense of the thumb hole that divided the grip from the rest of the body.
'Is that the clip, behind the handle?" he said, picking it up rather awkwardly. "What, does it shoot backwards?"
He tried looking through the scope, only to find the dust cover was still on, so he removed it and tried looking again. The magnification was quite large, clearly intended for a range much greater than the inside of the small room. Carefully he replaced the cover, and put the strange weapon back in its case again.
Along with the two pistols and the rifle, the room also contained a variety of machines – bullet molds, scales for measuring powder, equipment for loading shell casings – all of which made sense given his Father's chosen profession. But there were also other, stranger items – grinding bowls and glass vials that looked like they might have come from a medieval apothecary's shop, several cases of what appeared to be surgical equipment, and a very troubling journal. Flipping through the pages, Shiro found a series of notes and diagrams that appeared to describe a series of unsettling medical procedures – meant to be performed upon oneself.
"Dad, just what the hell kind of magic were you practicing up here?" Shiro wondered, shuddering as he closed the book.
Going back over to the table, he took up the two pistols, one in each hand. It reminded him of the first time he'd tried recreating Archer's twin blades. He remembered how they'd felt in his hands, so balanced and coordinated, as if at any moment they might leap forth, ready to cut by themselves.
But this was nothing like that. The guns felt heavy – clumsy and awkward. Looking at the wall, Shiro tried lowering the large single shot pistol until he could see the sighting bead at the end of the barrel silhouetted against the white plaster. The gesture felt strange and uncoordinated.
Lowering it again, he placed it back on its padded bed, and then closed the lid.
"Sorry Dad – I don't think I'm cut out for this kind of thing . . ."
Illya opened her eyes, but found that she was unable to move. Was it a barrier? Or a bounded field, set up by a Servant?
"Are we under attack?" she thought, instantly growing tense.
No, this seemed to be something different. She couldn't sense any magical presence, neither a Servant, nor a Master, and she couldn't feel the ends of her magic threads, either.
By her shoulder, she heard a faint, gurgling sound. It seemed close by, as if whatever made the noise was in the room, but at the same time far away, like it was being muffled by something. She tried lifting her arms, but could not. They weren't being held down by anything, they simply wouldn't move. All of the sensation in her body seemed to end somewhere around her elbows, and just above her knees.
Strangely, she could still feel her hands. It seemed like they were moving, as if she were smoothing her fingers against the sheets.
The gurgle became a slithering sound.
"I have to get up!"
Panic filled her, though she didn't know why. She only knew that she had to move, but that was the one thing she could not do. No matter how she tried, her body would not listen.
"If I can just – turn – over – "
She put all her effort into trying to lift her right shoulder. At first there was no reaction, but then slowly she watched as it began to rise – only to realize with horror that as her shoulder lifted, her arm had not come with it, but remained lying on the bed, leaking a milky white ooze.
"No!"
She screamed. Her voice was filled with protest and denial.
"Just a little longer – "
She pleaded. But inwardly, she knew. Had always known. After all, this was the ultimate fate of every Einzbern homunculus.
The sides of her arms shivered, trembling, then gave way as they dissolved. By now the only parts of her that were still distinct were the tips of her fingers, their nails glistening like bits of glass, and the strands of her hair, while the rest of her spread out in a puddle of white ooze that soaked into the fabric, leaving only her two red eyes lying like gems in the middle.
"UWAUGH !"
Illya sat up, clawing the air, until she realized that she was sitting on a couch on one of the upper floors of the Einzbern estate. She felt her face, then looked down at her hands, turning them over, then felt her face again – just to be sure – before slumping back with a sigh.
"Shiro would never let that happen . . ."
She'd gotten back to the castle early that morning. Sella made her a plate of scrambled eggs, but the thought of having breakfast for dinner at what should have been morning made her sick. It was dark outside, but by now her days were so topsy turvy she couldn't say if it was night going into day, or day going into night again, so she had decided to just go upstairs and go to bed.
Only after sleeping next to Shiro for so long, she found she could not sleep without him. The bed was so cold and lonely, and she didn't want to sleep in her parents' room, so she had decided to take a bath, then put on one of her mother's old dresses – a very dark purple one, almost black. After everything that had happened, it seemed fitting enough.
Afterwards she had wandered the upper floor of the castle, flitting from room to room like a ghost, until she finally felt tired, and fell asleep on one of the couches in the upstairs hall.
"I hate that stupid dream . . ."
She'd had nightmares like this before, but lately they were happening more and more often, and getting worse. Usually Shiro would sense what was happening, or put his arms around her when he heard her cry, but without him here –
"Ahh . . ." she groaned, getting up. She was grateful that her body had gotten more mature, but mature was another word for getting old, and she felt like she was getting older along with it.
"Argh . . ." she sighed, stretching her aching back. "Rin has no idea what she's thinking, feeling jealous of these things . . ."
Lazily she made her way over the window, where she moved the curtain to look out. Outside it was already getting dark, while inside, the light of the lamps gave the hall a cheery, yellow glow. The wrappings of the bandage on the back of her hand hung down loosely, barely covering her Command Seal, where it showed through their folds.
For a moment the red lines of her magic circuits flickered throughout her body.
"Ahh!"
She grimaced, taking hold of the curtain to steady herself. In her mind she could hear voices.
"Where is she? Where is she!"
Her Father's voice was frantic as he searched the barrier, desperate to find any opening. But there was none.
"Illya – My precious Illya . . ."
Words she'd always wanted to hear. But now –
"I'm right here, Father . . ."
"My precious Illya . . ."
"I'm right here . . ."
Beside her another voice, bitter and cold.
"That man left us . . ."
A pale and wispy ghost. One that had haunted the halls of Castle Einzbern for a long time, with her white shroud and black mist.
"He abandoned us . . ."
"He didn't abandon us, Mother . . ."
Outside, the cries of a little girl as she ran through the snow, pursued by a wolf.
"Ha – ha – ha – ha !"
She giggled as she ran. The wolf was getting close.
"Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah!"
Was the girl laughing or screaming as the wolf began to eat her? Maybe it was both.
Illya looked down, not wanting to hear. When she looked up, the girl was standing in the window, looking back at her.
Behind her was a low, guttural growl.
"Father, no – "
She couldn't really blame him though. After all, this was what he'd been summoned here to do. To win a war –
"I wonder who we should deal with next – "
The girl spoke with a sing song voice, taking out a piece of yellow parchment, and crossing out a name, as cheerfully as one might cross the milk or eggs off from a shopping list.
"No – "
"Oh come on. You can't tell me you're not the least big glad? Not the teensiest, tinsiest bit? After all, this is much more convenient for us – "
Illya shook her head. But the words were partly true. She'd worried about what might happen, if it came down to just the two of them. If it were only her and Shiro in the end, that would be a problem. Saber was the strongest Servant. And she and Shiro were very close.
"That just leaves the question of who we should deal with next. That Tohsaka girl? Or maybe the one with the purple hair and large breasts? Sakura IS powerful. But she's very simple and uncreative.
'Rin on the other hand is always scheming – she's always up to something."
And she was always with Shiro, too.
"That settles it."
"No!"
"It's a pity we can't just get Father to blow her head off – "
The thought of Rin's naked body lying headless in the hallway was strangely untroubling.
"That Archer in the red coat is a bother. But if we kill her, he goes away too. Shiro must never know, of course –
'Perhaps we could arrange for her to have a little 'accident'. Or better yet, we could get her and Sakura to kill each other. Sibling rivalry, as they say – "
She spoke demurely.
"Shiro would be devastated, of course. But we can take care of that – "
She folded her arms across her chest, so that they heaved up her bossom. And afterwards – It would be the garden of Eden. A perfect world, with just she and Shiro, together, forever.
Her mind flashed back to happier times.
"Won't you hold her, Kiritsugu?"
Irisviel called over her shoulder, looking up from the little white bundle that lay swaddled in her arms.
"Won't you hold our Illya?"
Kiritsugu came up behind her, touching his hands to her waist, before reaching down gently.
"Isn't she beautiful?"
"She's perfect . . ."
He said, reaching down to take the bundle from her. As he turned, she could see the contents of the blanket. There, lying nestled on a little white pillow, was a silver cup. A chalice. As if to add insult to injury, there was a purple ribbon around its gleaming base, its ends tied off in a neat bow.
"She's perfect in every way."
Illya gagged.
But in the end, wasn't this also true? After all, that's what she was. A vessel. A cup. Something to put things in.
"Drink from me Shiro . . ."
A wanton voice. The girl spread her leg, emphasizing the sweep of her skirt.
"Put your lips to me, and drink. Then fill me up – "
Illya felt her hips flex and her back arch involuntarily at the thought.
Reaching out, she took hold of both of the curtains, imagining they were the lapels of Shiro's coat, and pressed her forehead against the frosted glass in an effort to cool her fevered brain.
"Oh, Shiro . . . "
Outside, it was already dark. It would be time soon.
It was about ten o'clock when they all met just outside the Ryudo temple grounds. Rin has insisted that they leave separately, from their own houses, arriving at slightly different times, and from different directions, rather than all leave together from the Emiya estate.
"We can't just keep doing everything together like we're on some kind of school field trip. It's bound to draw attention. Presence concealment is very important to a Mage. It's one of the first things we're taught, and from a very early age.
'Not that it makes much difference to someone like Shiro", she said haughtily. "His magic energy is so weak, he could probably dance across the barrier wearing Archer's red coat, and no one would notice."
She closed one of her eyes, and glanced at Shiro sideways, waiting for the inevitable, explosive retort.
But there was nothing. And that really and truly worried her.
"Hey, are you alright?" she asked, momentarily forgetting that she was supposed to be mad at him.
Shiro looked up the long flight of stone steps pensively.
"Yeah . . ."
It was strange to think that something so mysterious existed right here in Fuyuki city, and that all one had to do to reach it was to begin to walk.
"Are you sure you're okay?"
"It's just – the last time we were here . . ."
His voice trailed off as his eyes travelled up the stone stairs, remembering the sight of her silver armor over her blue dress, how she'd gone on ahead, and how he had scolded her for sneaking out without him. Even now, he wanted to believe that she was here with him, that she'd just ran ahead, to scout the way, and that any moment she would come hurrying down to tell him to keep up, that he was taking too long.
As they neared the first landing, he half expected to hear the clang of blades, or to see the shadow of a lone samurai with a long katana, silhouetted against the moon.
Much to his surprise, as they came to the top of the steps, there was a dark figure waiting for them. But instead of a sword, he held a long lance.
"Evening", Lancer said, waving with his blade to make a small salute. And then he hurled his spear.
Archer watched, wide eyed, as the red streak bore down upon him. He had been walking with Rin and Shiro, going just a few steps ahead and off to the side, and evidently he had been its target. With little time to react, all he could do was raise his swords and stare as the fabled spear came hurtling towards him with murderous precision –
And then went rocketing past –
"You missed!?" Issei shouted in disbelief.
The spear struck the stone steps with a clang, then bounced, ricocheting before flipping off into the trees.
"Argh!" Lancer shouted, covering his face in embarrassment. "That's what I get for going for the easy kill!"
"YOU MISSED!?" Issei shouted again. By now the man in the red coat had surged forward, and was nearly on top of them.
"Damn it, boy!" Lancer snarled, reaching out his hand to call the weapon back to him. "I'm out of practice!"
For a moment it was a race between the red spear and the man in the red coat to see which of them would get there first.
"That's what comes of sitting around all day babysitting YOU – "
The crimson shaft met with his palm, and not a moment too soon, for it was just in time to deflect a terrible shearing blow from one of Archer's twin blades.
"That and – it was kind of at – an unusual angle – "
Lancer protested, his words punctuated by stabs, and the metal clang of Archer's swords, making Issei realize that perhaps this was not the best time to argue with him.
To Issei's mind, it seemed like Lancer would have been at a severe disadvantage.
"All Archer has to do is rush in and get close. With his two weapons to Lancer's one, it would be all over – "
But evidently the pieces in a Holy Grail War were valued differently than he imagined. Archer's twin swords certainly were very thick and murderous looking. But Lancer had the distinct advantage of reach. Far from being slow, he thrust the spear out repeatedly, alternating his strikes from high to low, and from one side to the other, making Issei think that all those literary descriptions of battles with walls of steel might have been more than poetic license.
The one time Archer did manage to get close, Lancer hardly seemed troubled. Instead he simply withdrew his spear, choking up until it became like a large knife, and very nearly disemboweled him with it, so that he was forced to retreat.
"For that matter, what kind of Archer doesn't even have a bow?" Issei wondered. Lancer's name was self explanatory, and Caster was clearly some kind of sorceress or wi –
"Enchantress", Issei corrected himself, fearful she would somehow hear his thoughts.
But Archer's name didn't seem to make any sense.
"Rider!" Archer called, only adding to the confusion, as the girl who came running up the steps did not have a horse or steed of any kind.
"Oh crap it's her!" Issei shouted, recognizing the purple haired Servant from before. That night she had seemed invincible. She had certainly made short work of Caster's golems, not to mention Shinji, and she'd nearly killed Issei as well. She lashed out with her chain, its length like some spikey tailed beast.
But Lancer wasn't bothered by this either. He twirled his spear in an arc, batting the chain away, and proceeded to alternate his stabs between assaulting Archer and deflecting Rider's chain, and when she tried to get close, stabbing at Rider herself. Her presence did nothing to help him, and may have made things worse – with both of them on the landing together, there was no room to move, and standing still only made them easier targets for Lancer's spear, which he wielded with ruthless efficiency.
Seeing them make no progress, Shiro stepped out of the shadows. Before Rin could stop him, he held out his hands, and uttered the words of his spell.
"Shiro . . ?" Issei asked, shocked to see his friend there.
"Trace on – "
At the strange words, a pair of swords identical to Archer's materialized out of thin air, appearing in his hands. Had he not seen it, Issei never would have believed it, but now there could be no doubt.
"It's magic . . ."
Lancer choked up on the spear again, slashing at Archer with its tip, then brought the shaft up behind his back, grabbing it over his shoulder, and bringing it down in a broad stroke that would have cleft Shiro's head in two. Shiro raised both of the twin blades, pairing them together, catching it in the cross between them.
"Ha ha!" Lancer called. "Who says all the youth of today are lazy and useless?" he said over his shoulder, making a dig at Issei, before whirling the spear up over his head in a broad arc. Rider and Archer leapt back to avoid it, but Shiro charged in recklessly. In the end his recklessness saved him, for if the blade of the spear had connected, it would have cut him in half, but as he closed the distance, he was struck instead by the shaft. For a moment it flexed as it met with his back, then sprang to, launching him off of the stairs and into the trees, where he rolled down all the way to the bottom, finding all of the branches and stumps along the way.
"Shiro!" Issei called, his voice full of panic.
"Issei?" Shiro groaned, trying to crawl out of the brush.
Rin wasted no time.
"Kill the boy and the Servant will disappear!"
"Hey!"
"Understood", Archer answered coldly, making a swipe at Issei that would have split him in half had not Lancer deflected it.
"Man, she really is evil!"
But Lancer had a different opinion.
"Ho – ho! So full of spunk! Lassie, that's what I like about you! Boy, that one's a keeper. If she wasn't already with your friend, I would say we should set her up with you!"
Issei recoiled in horror at the thought.
Rin, for her part, felt no sense of flattery at his evaluation, but instead stood holding one of her magic jewels, looking at it rather glumly.
"Damn it, I hadn't wanted to use one of the big ones so soon – "
"Wait – " Shiro said, placing his hand over hers.
Rin's eyes went wide, feeling a dozen gems fill her palm and fingers.
"Where on earth did you – "
"Better hurry – they're unstable!"
"Waugh!"
Rin panicked, feeing the stones begin to shift and grow warm. Like a shotgun blast, she threw them in Lancer and Issei's general direction. They only made it halfway up the stairs before erupting in a terrific explosion that sent sparks scattering to either side, and sent Lancer and Issei scattering along with them.
"What the hell did you do!?"
"Sorry", Shiro said sheepishly. "They were just pebbles. I – uh – picked up a handful of gravel, and used my strengthening magic on it. It never works, so I figured it would probably explode. I guess I should have warned you first – "
"That nearly blew my hand off! I could have been killed!"
And so, in the end, they didn't make any progress.
Seeing their distraction, Lancer crept out of the bushes on one side of the stairs, while Issei crept out on the other. He made it to the center of the steps, when he caught the attention of Archer, who had just finished stringing his bow, and loosed off a volley.
Taking his spear, Lancer made a broad circle, and was able to catch all of the arrows – though just barely, the last one stopping just inches from his face.
"Well that's going to be a problem – hey boy! Now's about the time you might want to go and tell Miss Pain In The Ass Of Incomparable Beauty to get down here!"
"There's no need", a haughty voice called down from the top of the stairs. "She's already here!"
And with that, Caster waved her staff, spreading a pair of translucent wings. They fanned out on either side of her, filling with a thousand glowing spots like the false eyes on the wings of a moth, each one welling up yellow and bright, before they released, sending a torrential barrage of golden beams down range.
Archer stared in disbelief, then dove for his life. Caster followed, tracking him mercilessly, as she rose bodily in the air, then loosed a second barrage, this time targeting not only Archer, but also Rin, Shiro, Sakura, Rider, Illya, and Kiritsugu, firing on all of them at once, and sending them all running for cover.
"Hmph!" she said with a satisfied laugh as she returned to the earth, while Shiro fought to restrain a squirming Rin at the bottom of the path below.
"I hate that old witch!"
Caster glared, then reaching out her arm, fired off a single, lone blast, shearing off a tree branch she had missed earlier, and very nearly taking Rin's head off with it.
"I heeeaaard that!"
"Hey, I've been wondering – whatever happened to that pretty blonde friend of yours?"
They were sitting at opposite ends of the stone steps, with Lancer, Issei, and Caster on the landing, and Shiro and his friends at the start of the staircase below, in what had become an informal truce.
At Lancer's words, Shiro's eyes fell.
"Ohh . . . that's how it is. Well – I for one am glad – "
At this, Shiro's eyes filled with a sudden rage. Lancer held out his hand melodramatically.
"Out of all of the other Servants, she was the only one I was actually worried about. I've no fear of an Archer – I know how to deal with them – especially ones who barely seem to know how to use a bow – " he added with a snide look in Archer's direction.
'Riders? They're a bit too gimmicky to my taste – too much depends on the animal, and besides, I prefer to fight on foot. Assassins? There's always someone sneakin' around with a knife in the dark. And I never cared much for witches and wiz – ERR – I mean enchantresses", he added, correcting himself hastily with a glance over in Caster's direction.
Caster leaned her head to the side, then lowered her staff, deciding that this was an inopportune time to vaporize him.
" – And Berserkers? Who WOULDN'T be afraid of some crazy bastard hell bend on killin' you and not caring if they died in the process?
'But Sabers? They were the one class I always have problems with – even when they are as your pretty miss. I can't imagine who or what could have possibly bested the likes of her. 'Tis sad, really. There's hardly any sense left in fighting. I expect the rest of the war will be rather boring now."
Issei watched the results of Lancer's strange speech as they played out over Shiro's face. He'd heard the rumors that Shiro had a pretty blonde foreigner living with him, but he'd dismissed them as idle gossip.
"Shiro would never do something like that – " he'd thought. But now it seemed like the rumors might have been true.
"Was she a – Servant?" Issei wondered. He himself had never even seen the woman. There was so much he still didn't know about the Holy Grail War. And about his friend.
"Well, that's enough talk", Lancer said, hopping down from the stone shelf. He hefted his spear off of shoulders, and made a quick twirl, planting the butt end of it against the ground.
'Do you want to draw straws, and I'll kill you one at a time, or all rush me, and I'll kill the whole lot of you at once!?" he said, pointing his spear menacingly.
"I have a better idea", Caster said, raising her staff.
'Spartoi! Phalanx!"
At her shout, the ground on either side of the stone stairs began to stir. As Issei watched, he could see the shapes of her bone golems as they crawled out of the dirt, taking up positions at the top of the landing, forming an army of four soldiers to a row, and three ranks deep. He didn't think much of it, remembering the quick work Rider had made of them the night she attacked him and Shinji, but that had been out in the open. Here, hemmed in as they were, was another matter.
Looking at them, Issei could suddenly understand why they had once been called the Dragon's Teeth – the motions of their interlocking spears and swords were like the gnashing of the fangs of some giant beast.
Archer tried to maneuver against them, but could not get close, for every time he tried to approach, he was at risk of getting a spear to the face. If he moved to threaten one, immediately the spears and swords of his companions menaced him, and so he was forced to retreat. Rider fared no better. She tried making several lashes with her whip, but it was easily batted away, so that even with its reach, it afforded her nothing.
Caster folded her arms, and smiled satisfactorily.
Falling back, Archer switched to his bow. Choosing a target, he bent it back, then loosed a blue bolt. The arrow rang true, striking one of the creatures in its bony face. Immediately one of its fellows stepped forward, while Caster, with a wave of her wand, summoned a new golem from the ground, which moved to the back of the line to take its place, and so once more their numbers were whole again.
Archer frowned.
"Caster's position certainly is well chosen."
Rin said a bit glumly, when they'd once again paused to regroup at the bottom of the stairs.
"She's literally at the top of a mountain. Those stone steps are steep, and with all that forest, there's no way we're going around the side. And it isn't just the physical terrain – she's set up a barrier, and she controls a ley line, so she's got all of magic energy that she needs. There's no way anything's getting in or out without her notice, and the one direct route is up those steps, which are easily defended."
"Do you want me to take Bellephron and try flying over them?"
Rider asked. Normally she reserved using her steed for special circumstances or emergencies, but at the moment, she could see no other way.
Rin shook her head.
"It would be no good. Lancer would either throw his spear, or else Caster would just use her beam attack – you'd be a sitting duck. If only we had an Assassin with us. Illya, do you think you could have Kiritsugu sneak around, and – "
Illya's face fell. Even as she said it, Rin knew it wouldn't work. The idea of asking a Berserker to sneak up on anyone was ridiculous.
"Archer has some presence concealment, but it isn't his forte. They've already seen him, and besides, in that red coat he'd stick out like a sore thumb."
For a moment she looked at the ground thoughtfully. Then she stood up as if she'd decided something, and brushed off her coat, before starting down the coat.
"Where are you going?" Shiro asked, curious at what sort of plan she'd come up with.
"I'm going home."
"What!?"
"You can't do that!?" Archer echoed Shiro's sentiments.
"And why not!? We're not getting anywhere. Only an idiot keeps trying when there's no use in fighting!"
"You can't just up and leave!"
Lancer's voice called down from the top of the stairs.
"We're in the middle of a battle here!"
"So what!" Rin shouted back, with her hands on her hips. "It's late! And it's cold! And neither side is getting anywhere – I'm going home!"
"Aw – poor baby!" Caster called down patronizingly.
"Oh shut up! You old witch!"
"Run along now! You're probably going home to cry to your Father – "
At this Rin's eyes went wild.
"THAT DOES IT! I'M USING A COMMAND SEAL! MPFH – "
Archer caught her just in time, putting his hand over her mouth as he lifted her off of the ground, but she retorted by using her teeth.
"OW! Biting's not fair!"
"Archer! Use your Noble Phantasm! I command you!"
At once, Archer raised his head, and scowled, then slowly lowered her to the ground. He took two steps to the side, then dutifully raised his bow.
"Aw shit! He's really going to do it!" Lancer shouted.
Caster looked on thoughtfully.
Assuming a stance both graceful and ancient, he held the bow over his head, and placed his fingers on the string, then lowered his arms, the bows limbs flexing as his hands parted, and the string drew back. A streak of light formed along his arm, becoming an arrow. It glowed brightly, drawing all of the light from the space around him into its tip.
All the wind around them stopped, holding its breath as the string drew back – farther – father – And then released, snapping to in a mighty exhale that sent the whole world heaving forward.
Lancer grabbed Caster and Issei, dragging them out of the way as the blue streak went hurtling past. It obliterated all of the golems at once, travelling up the stairs, until its light dispersed in a brilliant flash that lit up the night.
"NOW!"
Rin shouted, rushing up the steps as she drew a handful of gems from her bag. The golems were already reforming, but the jewels exploded with a massive volley that destroyed them again, and also kept Caster and Lancer pinned down, while Issei hugged the ground desperately trying to understand what was going on.
"I guess we have no choice but to support her", Archer said, loosing another flight of arrows, as Shiro ran on ahead, with Sakura and Rider following behind, and after them Illya. Kiritsugu brought up the rear, using his pistols to lay down a field of suppressive fire.
And so it was that they finally gained the stairs that led up to the temple.
"Hmm – so this is Ryudo", Rin said calmly, conveniently forgetting her outburst from only moments before. "It looks so – peaceful . . ."
Caster's machinery littered the yard, while off to the side was a small garden of alchemical herbs. One of the fiery bulls regarded them curiously as it paused to graze.
"Murrh?"
Caster raised her staff.
At once a purple light went out. And then the space behind the temple grew dark.
Rin at first thought it was a trick. The way the night sky seemed to darken was surreal, as it turned from blue to black. The stars were still visible, but the air grew tangible and thick, while beneath their feet, the ground began to shake. Within the cloud, a light welled up. And then, a titanic roar.
"MMMM – RRRR – AAAA – RRRR – RRR – "
"What was THAT!?" Lancer asked, his ears still ringing. The sound had literally shook the air around them.
"Oh, you mean the dragon? Of Colchis? I kept it – I figured I deserved SOMETHING for all my trouble – "
"Dragon . . ?" Lancer asked.
Archer looked up as a scaly face leered out of the clouds. Its backswept horns were crooked against the night as it regarded him with a toothy grin. The beast opened its mouth, breathing in deeply, as a fire welled up inside its throat.
Archer swallowed hard.
"Oh dear –"