Summary: AU of episode 204. The Spirits all have a strangely themed request….
Pairings: Capricorn/Lucy friendship, Aquarius/Lucy friendship, Virgo/Lucy friendship, Sagittarius/Lucy friendship, Scorpio/Lucy friendship, implied one-sided Loke/Lucy, implied one-sided Taurus/Lucy, Gemini/Lucy friendship, Cancer/Lucy friendship, Yukino/Happy friendship, implied Happy/Charle, Natsu/Happy friendship, Yukino/Pieces friendship, Yukino/Libra friendship, implied Sting/Yukino/Rogue, and implied Natsu/Lucy.
Author's Note: THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR GIVING ME OVER EIGHTEEN HUNDRED REVIEWS!
It wasn't long after Aries had left looking beautifully bronze as if she spent months on a beach rather than being barbecued by Natsu (God! Lucy was so terrified, she swore she smelt roasted lamb during Natsu's flame session and almost throttled her best friend in her spirit's defence) when suddenly all of Lucy's spirits, barring Aries, magically appeared around her.
"EH?!" She cried out. "I haven't called you guys out yet!"
"We know, Lucy-sama," Capricorn said formally as ever, "but Aries had told us what you had planned to do and we decided to come to you with our requests."
"Erm…..okay?" Lucy sweat-dropped at that. Should she be worried that her spirits were a little eager about this? She wasn't that terrible of a Master that this one request thing was something to be checked, was she? "What is it that you wish to have?"
Capricorn coughed loudly to clear his throat. "I wish to be the one to walk you down the aisle," he declared.
Lucy blinked. He wanted to be the one…..wait, what?! But before she could vocalise this and ask what on earth Capricorn was talking about, Virgo spoke up.
"Hime, I wish to make your wedding dress," Virgo said passionately….which for Virgo just meant her blue eyes were sparkling while her face was still expressionless and her voice monotone. "I have already designed five new ones and had fifteen others made for you to choose from. If you do not like any of them then you can punish me."
"Erm, that's okay," Lucy said, she really didn't want to punish her spirit, "I'm sure each and every one of those dresses are beautiful but-"
"Moshi-Moshi Lucy-dono!" Sagittarius bellowed as he suddenly leaped between Lucy and Virgo. Lucy may have yelped at that, it was rather shocking. "I wish to do an honouree twenty one arrow salute for your wedding."
"We are!" Scorpio then jumped in as well. "I wish to totally rock out with an awesome song for your first dance. We are!"
"I hope to be your hair stylist for the day, ebi," Cancer said coolly as his scissors shimmered in the sunlight while he made swift, elegant, motions with them above Happy's head. "It'll look a bit like this, ebi."
Happy screamed as he realised his fur had been styled into a beautiful bun with ringlets and silver stars embedded into it. "Ah!" Happy screamed again. "I look like a girl. Now Charle will never accept my fish!" he flew off crying while Natsu roared with laughter.
Heartless arsehole.
"I want to see you get married," Aquarius surprisingly spoke up with her request. Lucy's heart swelled with emotion that Aquarius' only request was to witness her commit herself to her one true love (when she finally finds him). "Just to ensure you're definitely getting married," Aquarius added sneeringly. "Because if you do the world must be ending. You can't even catch yourself a boyfriend."
Lucy collapsed at that while Natsu continued to laugh. That's it! He was sleeping on the sofa no matter what puppy dog eyes and sneaky tactics he tries using!
"I wish to have the right to object!" Loke suddenly burst out passionately. "I have no doubt whoever you will marry will not be worth your beauty at all. You ought to marry me instead!"
"As do I!" Lucy's eye twitched as Taurus spoke up in agreement with Loke of all people. "Lucy's hot body shouldn't belong to just one puny man. It should belong to a strong ox like me, moooooooooooooo!"
Natsu growled at that and made a move to punch Taurus but Lucy (having told Natsu to not pick fights with her spirits if he was going to join her) instantly tripped him up. Not that anyone but Yukino seemed to notice and even then Yukino was incredibly distracted with comforting Happy.
"Scrap that first request," Aquarius snarled as she glowered at both Loke and Taurus. "I want the right to drown these morons!"
"Granted," Lucy said happily.
Loke and Taurus tried to run away screaming but it didn't work and while Aquarius was successfully using the river as a weapon of torture, Lucy turned to face Gemini.
"And finally," Gemini said as she wore Lucy's appearance (still in a towel for reasons Lucy cannot figure out), "we all collectively request that we get to judge whether or not your choice of groom is worthy enough for you."
"Wait a minute!" Lucy wailed. Patience and tolerance finally lost. "I'm nowhere near ready to get married! What would make you think I am?! And wouldn't you rather have something for yourself than something about me?!"
"Lucy," Loke smiled down at her fondly (though he was now missing his sunglasses, his suit smelt suspiciously like fish, and he was dripping with water….Aquarius looked like she could do with drowning him some more, she still looked unsatisfied in the background), "You're our Master. You are our world. And when you do have that very important day, we all want to be part of it."
Natsu, who had been bored, tired, and rather irritated at this new assumption that Lucy was going to get married, couldn't help but burst out with. "Who are you to judge whether or not Lucy's groom is worthy enough for her?!" he snarled, because quite frankly something about that really pissed him off.
If anyone got to judge if a guy is worthy of her or not, it was him. (And let him tell you, so far, none of those losers she flirted with were worthy of her.) There was no way he was letting these interfering weirdoes tell him whether or not he (the random groom) was worthy of Lucy or not.
The spirits all looked at one another and then spoke in unison;
"You're still not worthy enough."
And that was when they all disappeared in a puff of smoke.
…..
"WHAT?!"
"Tee-hee," Happy giggled, "they liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiike each other!"
"Shut up, Happy!" Natsu barked, his face bright red, "or should I say Happella?" he taunted with an evil grin as he took in Happy's loose curls round his ears that still had silver stars hanging in them. "After all, you're suck a pretty kitty."
"Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!" Happy wailed, tears flying from his eyes as he flew quickly as possible away from Natsu, "You're all so meaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan to me!"
"Wait Happy-sama!" Yukino cried out. "You forgot your fish for Charle-sama!"
As this drama unfolded (Yukino chasing Happy to cheer him up while Natsu chased him to keep on taunting him) Lucy collapsed onto the ground and eyed her keys warily.
They all want part of a wedding that's never going to happen, huh? A wedding with Natsu as the groom? Ha! When pigs fly!
Maybe she's dropped them on the ground one time too many?
It certainly explains some things.
Omake:
Meanwhile elsewhere, both Rogue and Sting were sweating nervously as Libra stared at them with her deep, dark, penetrating eyes made all the more intimidating by her veil and Pieces was looming over in their fish form in a rather scary manner.
"Neither of you," Libra said stiffly, "are worthy of Yukino-sama!"
"Agreed," one of the Pieces fish said, "Mama deserves better."
And with that they both disappeared.
"….Wait, what?"