Summary: A Fairy Tail/Friends plot mash-up! Natsu and Lucy have been best friends for years, but with Erza getting married, and her own self-esteem brutally knocked down, Lucy reaches out and finds something surprising with Natsu. Something she can't let go. She and Natsu embark on a secret relationship. No one else is impressed.

Pairings: Natsu/Lucy, Jellal/Erza/Mystogen love triangle, Brotherly Laxus/Erza, Mirajane/Laxus, Lisanna/Bickslow, Gray/Juvia, Natsu/Erza friendship, Lucy/Erza friendship, Jellal/Lucy friendship, Cana/Lucy friendship, Natsu/Lucy, one-sided Loke/Lucy, implied Elfman/Evergreen, Gajeel/Levy, Levy/Lucy friendship, Natsu/Lucy, general family and friendship feels between all guild members, implied Gray/Cana (mostly in Juvia's mind), previous mentions of Natsu/Lisanna, Natsu/OC, Lucy/OC, some fake Cana/Natsu, and I have mentioned this is a Natsu/Lucy fic, right?

Author's Note: This is for Fred and George Weasley Twins who had requested a Friends plot mash-up just as I started writing this. I hope you enjoy it though we have conflicting views on who should be who.

It started with Erza's wedding day in London.

Well more accurately it started the night before Erza's wedding day. Lucy had knocked on Natsu's door, feeling incredibly low about herself – after all someone had thought she was Erza's mother of all people – and in desperate need of reassurance. She certainly got that and more, and the very next day Erza burst into the room, her bright red hair flying all over the place.

"I'M GETTING MARRIED TODAY!" she squealed excitedly. On a normal day no one would have thought Erza would have been excited and girly about a wedding of all things. The suggestion of her being like that from anyone would have resulted with them being punched into a wall….like Gray that one time in the coffeehouse which made poor Marakov weep at the expense of re-plastering…but this was different. After the heartbreak with her ex-boyfriend, and their friend, Jellal, she was now moving on with a handsome, dashing, British, man that eerily looked like Jellal, called Mystogen… "I'M GETTING MARRIED TODAY!"

"You sure are," Lucy agreed, "why don't you get Cana up? I'm sure she's hung-over from all the duty free she brought at the airport."

"What?! I can't have my bridesmaids hung-over at my wedding! Get up! I need you all in my room for hair and make-up! OH MY GOD I'M GETTING MARRIED TODAY!"

"Yeah, you are," Lucy cheered, "now go quickly or you might be late for the wedding march!"

It was a terrible ploy to get rid of Erza but it worked. The redhead shrieked at the thought of missing her own wedding and vanished, slamming the door behind her, in order to get ready (and to drag her other bridesmaids out of bed. Cana and Juvia were not going to thank Lucy for this at all). Lucy waited several seconds before she sighed and flopped back onto her pillows.

Then suddenly Natsu poked his head out from the duvet and blinked at her worriedly.

"Do you think she saw me?"

"Natsu," Lucy couldn't help but smile and shake her head exasperated. The consequences of what they had done haven't fully sunk in yet and she couldn't help but appreciate how typically dumb her best friend was as well as enjoy how nice, and warm, and strong he felt pressed up against her. "She didn't even realise this wasn't my hotel room."

FTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFT

It didn't really sink in what they did at first.

Well, in all fairness, as soon as Lucy left Natsu's room she had been whisked away for wedding preparations and the next time she saw him, he walking her down the aisle for the wedding march ahead of Erza. It was really awkward. Like really, really awkward since Natsu kept saying stupid things and Lucy couldn't focus at all. Then the wedding ceremony halted to a burning crash when instead of saying 'I take thee Mystogen…' Erza had said 'I take thee Jellal', and although the wedding had continued you most certainly could cut the tension in the air with a knife. Therefore it wasn't until they were at the buffet table in the reception that they could talk.

(Everyone else was distracted by the fact Mystogen had locked himself in the bathroom. "Jeeze," Laxus grunted, "what a pansy. He so ain't worth your time."

"Shut up, Laxus!" Erza snarled. "Mysto, sweetie, come out please."

"Reminds me of the time when I almost married what his name," Cana slurred, "and I climbed out of the window to get away."

Erza now also owed her new in laws a brand new bathroom door, as well as severe grovelling from breaking their precious' boy's heart, as she broke the door down to discover that Mystogen had indeed climbed out of the window.

"Utter pansy," Laxus repeated, "seriously you could have done better.")

After some really weird, awkward, talk where they sort of revisited the night before. (How the hell did they end up doing it seven times?! Lucy had never felt so wanton and passionate, and she knows Natsu has never been all that interested in that sort of thing.) They had agreed it was going to be a 'London' thing. That once they were home they would go back to being best friends. This would have totally worked if it had not been for the fact that all of their friends seem to be massive cockblocks.

No, that was not an exaggeration.

First, they tried to sneak down to the wine cellar when they discovered Cana had already taken it upon herself to have a very thorough look (if Mystogen's parents found several expensive bottles of wine…well…it had nothing to do with them). They immediately ran back to Natsu's room, only to be interrupted by Jellal who whole-heartedly believed that Erza uttering his name in the middle of the wedding meant something ("If you just let me punch him then-" "Natsu, No!") and when they finally escaped to Lucy's room instead they were interrupted by Lisanna, Juvia, Levy, Evergreen, and aa drunken Cana who all wanted to talk about the worries and insecurities brought up by Erza's blunder, whether Lisanna would make a good mother ("after all, I'm not even carrying my babies! Mira-nee is doing that!"), whether Gray and Gajeel would commit to their girls, whether Elfman was the correct choice….it's needless to say as soon as they could, Natsu and Lucy ran away….

Well, okay, that wasn't quite accurate. Natsu had been kicked out for the girly chat, and after losing all patience he all but kicked the door down, grabbed Lucy, blurted some lie about Erza, and then ran off.

And so they tried to do it in Erza's honeymoon suite….yes, she's well aware of how sleazy that sounded, but come on! Erza and Mystogen weren't likely to use it. Any doubt or conscious she might have had about using it melted away when he pulled her into a deep, burning, kiss, and she was suddenly so very ready –

Only to see Erza sitting mournfully on the bed, and she had to push Natsu away. She pushed him so hard that he fell over the dressing table stool and landed with a bang.

"Natsu? Lucy?" Erza sniffled.

"Hi, Erza," Lucy said sheepishly, "how are you doing?"

"I'm fine, I just…" she shrugged helplessly. "I'm hoping he'll come here."

"I'm sure he will," Natsu grinned, "well….we'll be leaving you-"

"Wait!"

Both Lucy and Natsu stiffened. They sweated a little in fear as Erza took her time to say the next few words. Did she see them kissing? Did she want to interfere or kill Natsu or….?

"Could you two stay with me?" she asked with a rare vulnerability. "I really don't want to be alone right now."

"Sure," Lucy said, "we can stay."

"But-"

"We can stay," Lucy repeated more firmly, "after all what are friends for?"

And with that Natsu slumped into surrender and sat down next to Erza who rested her head on his shoulder. Lucy sat on Erza's other side and took hold of her hand tightly and squeezed it. They sat together in a peaceful silence….

"….Natsu," Erza said coldly, "Are you trying to besmirch what little is left of my honour and virtue?"

"NO!"

Lucy face-palmed as Natsu quickly removed his hand from Erza's buttocks.

She wanted to shag this moron again…..why?

FTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFT

Morning came, and they were still sitting wide awake on Erza's bed as the redheaded bride slept serenely on Lucy's breasts (don't ask. Everyone did it. And she means everyone. All of her friends claim it was the most comfy thing in the world.), and their flight were in four hours. Unless they did it quickly up against the door before Erza woke up, it wasn't going to happen.

So, of course, it didn't happen because neither of them were suicidal enough to do it within Erza's hearing.

As soon as they did escape Erza it had become a case of packing, eating a quick breakfast, and having to sit around the airport while waiting for their plane….completely surrounded by their many friends. You know before all of this Lucy never once hated the fact that she had too many friends….

Then she had to endure a very, very, very long plane journey being pressed up against Natsu with a snoring Elfman on her other side. As much as she loved Elfman (in a purely platonic way), she really didn't want his snoring in her ears and let's not talk about his random yells of being manly followed with a wild punch. So she leaned in closer and closer against Natsu for her own safety until she realised that his leg was burning against hers, his arm had woven itself round her shoulders, and she can his heart beat against her ear.

"I've been thinking," She murmured, "we're still on international waters."

"Huh?" Natsu asked dumbly.

"We're not in New York yet," she said slowly, and a little irritable, it can't be helped, she was horny, incredibly frustrated, and Natsu's natural (if rather charming) stupidity was not needed at this point. "We can still have some fun," she added flirtatiously. "I'm going to the bathroom."

"Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww," Natsu whined childishly, "I don't want to watch you pee."

"Not that you moron!" she snapped.

"Then why would I want to go the bathroom with – mmph!" Lucy shut him up quickly with a kiss. Fortunately, like Elfman, most of their friends were asleep. Cana seemed somewhat conscious but she was so out of it on the duty free booze that she wouldn't notice. Anyone that had their eyes open had them permanently fixed on the small TV screens with their headphones firmly placed in. no one had seen it. "Oooooh!" Natsu said in realisation as Lucy pulled away. He then beamed. "I'll see you in the bathroom then!" he said cheerfully.

Unfortunately while waiting in the bathroom some turbulence hit which reminded Natsu they were actually on a vehicle (they had managed to convince him with the fact the airplane barely moves in the sky that he wasn't feeling motion sickness) and he had terrible luck (or knowing him it was planned) to vomit all over Gray….

Yes. She did cringe when she came out to find the air stewardesses trying to restrain Gray and Natsu, and yes, it was highly embarrassing to sit next to someone who ended up strapped to a chair.

Juvia seemed to enjoy it though.

FTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFT

So that was it.

They were back in New York, they were back in their apartment building, and they were never ever going to have sex again. That seven times in one night was going to remain their only (rather legendary) time together and they were now firmly friends again.

Just as Lucy wanted.

Just as Natsu wanted.

So why did Lucy feel so….heartbroken about it? Something about this felt so wrong. Like she had the chance at something wonderful and had just squandered it away.

"Oh my God!" a heavily pregnant Mira cried out as she flung her arms round Laxus….well, she tried to. "I have missed you so much! It doesn't matter how good technology is, skype and mobile phones are not enough!"

"Hn," Laxus grunted, "next time, you're coming," he added. "I am not holding the phone up while walking down the aisle ever again. Erza was pissed."

Mira smirked, her natural rivalry winning her good nature, "even more reason to do it again," she said evilly causing everyone to sweat-drop. Her eyes landed on Lucy and then suddenly widened. "Oh my God!" she squealed. "You had sex!"

"NO I HAVEN'T!" Both Lucy and Natsu screamed.

"I know you haven't," Mira shot a look at Natsu, "But Lucy definitely has."

"God," Gray scoffed, "who would ever want to have sex with Natsu?"

"WHAT WAS THAT?!"

"NO FIGHTING IN MY APARTMENT! TAKE IT OUTSIDE!" Lucy bellowed on instinct, knowing her best friends far too well, she then turned to Mira, dying of embarrassment, as she said, "And I haven't had sex."

"Oh," Mira frowned, "you know, ever since I've been pregnant my senses about these sort of things have been way off."

"What do you mean ever since you got pregnant?" Laxus muttered under his breath. "You've always been wrong about these things."

"What was that, dear?" Mira asked sweetly.

"Erm," Laxus looked unnaturally terrified for a moment, "I said you look extra beautiful since you got pregnant though."

"Ick," Gajeel grumbled, "I'm heading home. I need to check on my cat."

"Yeah," Natsu agreed, "me too. God knows what Happy has been up to. He must be lonely."

"Ooh!" Mira clapped her hands excitedly. "Can I come? It's been so long since I've seen the kitties!"

"….weren't you supposed to be feeding them?"

"Ah! Laxus! I think we should go home!" Mira said quickly. "I feel tired all of a sudden."

And with that Gajeel, Natsu, Levy, and Loke ran out to check on Happy and Lily. Gray decided to go home, Juvia waited a total of two seconds before following him, Elfman, Lisanna, Bickslow, Evergreen, and Freed all followed Mira and Laxus, and everyone else had fortunately went straight back to theirs from the airport, so that now left Lucy all alone as her temporary roommate of the month (she keeps swapping, everyone has lived at her at one point….apart from Natsu who is her next door neighbour but he wandered in so often you would have thought he lived with her) Jellal was still stuck in London.

Lucy sighed heavily.

Part of her really wanted to go across the hall, throw open Natsu's apartment door, and plant one big fat one on his lips damn the consequences but another part of her….they already risked their friendship, and out of everyone, all her lovely friends, Natsu was the one that meant the most to her .she didn't want to ruin that.

He probably didn't want her anymore now anyway. It was only ever going to be a London thing, and now they were home….

Her front door opened and Natsu stepped back inside. She couldn't help the smile that appeared on her face, it was an automatic reaction! "Hey," she said happily, "is Happy all right?"

"Yeah," Natsu grinned as he ran a hand through his hair, "he's chowing down on a lot of food right now and Loke is keeping him company. So I thought…." He ran his hand through his hair again, this time rather nervously, "Hey Luce," he said, his cheeks turning a similar shade of pink as his hair. He then suddenly met her eyes and she inwardly shuddered at the burning intensity that she could see in them. "I'm still on London time," he said a little huskily. "Does that count?"

"Oh God, yes!

And with that she flung herself at Natsu, who caught her easily, and they both threw themselves into the best kiss ever.

FTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFT

It was difficult but they had managed to keep it a secret.

Two whole weeks of a very strange bliss that Lucy had never felt before. She had plenty of boyfriends and lovers beforehand, she was twenty six not some sort of blushing virginal teenager, but none of them had made her as happy and excited and giddy as Natsu did. They both enjoyed the thrill of hiding from everyone, it had bordered onto dangerous when Loke almost walked in on them in the bathroom and Lucy had to hide under the water.

She almost drowned and it definitely put a dampener on the evening (no pun intended) as she was left gasping for breath in Natsu's arms for the wrong cause.

Then finally Jellal came home from Erza's honeymoon (he ended up stuck on a plane to Athens alone….don't ask) and it got a little more difficult.

Lucy didn't even realise how domestic and loving they had become until Natsu said, "I've got to go to work, goodbye honey," and then leaned in and kissed her. Their eyes both widened as Jellal's, Mira's, Levy's, and Loke's mouths all dropped open. "Erm," Natsu muttered, "and goodbye to you too, Mira," he then kissed Mira on the mouth, "and you Levy," he kissed Levy quickly, "and-"

"No thank you!" Jellal and Loke said as they quickly stepped back.

Natsu shrugged, grinned stupidly, and left. "What on earth was that?!" Levy cried out flabbergasted.

"I don't know," Lucy shrugged though inwardly she was torn between hysterical laughter and screaming. "I think it's something he picked up in London. A European thing."

"A French thing, maybe," Mira muttered darkly. "It certainly felt French."

Needless to say this cover up attempt did not end well for Natsu as everyone ended up holding an intervention for the kissing problem. This had been after Natsu had to kiss Juvia, Lisanna, and Cana (when they walked in during what should have been a very nice evening with champagne) with Gray, Bickslow, and Freed avoiding him (or trying to kill him in Bickslow's case), and when he almost kissed Erza (and got punched in the face for it) when she entered the room just as Natsu kissed Lucy goodbye. It was woefully unfair really but they had talked about it and decided to keep it just between them.

Just until they know for certain what's going on.

Laxus had just been about to punch Natsu for his, and she quotes, 'French stupidity' when Mira suddenly released a great splash of urine as her waters broke.

It was needless to say everyone forgot about the whole kissing thing as a whole new chapter in their lives was about to start.

Lisanna and Bickslow were going to be parents.

FTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFT

Ever since London Natsu felt his world had been thrown upside down….and it was wonderful.

And bad.

Because he kept screwing up.

Like when Mirajane was giving birth and Cana set Lucy up with that stupid, empty-headed, pretty boy, nurse, and he just said 'they were just fooling around'. Why would he say that? It wasn't fooling around to him. It was never fooling around to him. This was something he had always wanted. He wasn't sure when it started or if he even knew it before London, but the actual sense of rightfulness he had when he was with Lucy made him certain.

He remembered that one weekend when he tried to convince her that he was good boyfriend material and wondered how he didn't realise it then. Oh well, Gray always did say he was very thick.

"Look," he said nervously. "I don't know what sort of dictionary you own but in my dictionary just fooling around means very, very, serious business. Now if you have some sort of new-fangled dictionary that says just fooling around means something else, then we're going to have to….erm….sort it out," he finished firmly.

Lucy smiled and laughed weirdly (like she does every so often). "You're stupid," she said weirdly.

"Well," Natsu huffed, "that's rude!"

She kissed him quickly before anyone noticed they were missing and found them. "Idiot," she said again in that weird voice, and it was then when he realised that it was her way, in her weirdo dictionary, of saying she forgave him.

He grinned back happily.

And then he messed up again.

Seriously he had a problem. One, he should probably have fixed by a professional or something because he really needs to stop screwing up.

It started when poor Jellal walked in on Lucy in a very compromising position….

Just for a moment, let Natsu glorying in the fact that he has some sort of hold on Lucy that she has on him. They both couldn't seem to get enough of one another, and every moment they could they snatched it with both hands and went at it like rabbits. They even done it in Fairy Tail coffee house which is always haunted by one or two of their friends (yeah, they have no life…).

If Natsu could he would spend all day just kissing Lucy…

Anyway! Back to the point. Jellal was supposed to be out for hours, and they had planned an evening together. Lucy had apparently been naked and lying in a very seductive position which Natsu could picture far too clearly for his own good, and poor Jellal ended up scarred for life.

(Poor Jellal could never cope with too much naked skin. How he managed every day with Cana's bikini tops, Erza's weirdo random sexy outfits, Lucy's short skirts, and Lisanna's old short shorts, Natsu would never know.)

Lucy lied about some guy at work and Jellal had accidentally let it slip to Cana (one of her Irish coffees must have been at work there because Jellal didn't usually spill other people secrets) who kept pressing Lucy for details. Lucy accidentally said that he, Natsu Dragneel, was the best she ever had (though she didn't use his name, he was just some guy at work), and that led to one thing after another until….

"You see," Natsu smirked arrogantly. "If I knew I was the guy that you said that was the best you ever had. I would do this."

He then leaped onto Lucy's coffee table (a type one offense) and began to dance in celebration. He kept moving hips in a rhythm that matched the chant he was singing in his head. He was the best she ever had. He was the best she ever had, he was the best she ever had, he was the best she ever had, he was the best she ever had…..Lucy was not impressed and when he finally got her alone and leaned down to kiss her, she pushed him away, and scowled.

Natsu's eyebrows furrowed in worry. "What's wrong?" he asked.

"I don't know," Lucy said in a tone that suggested she very much did know what was wrong. "Probably the fact that you did this."

And she jumped before him and did the same hip swivelling dance he did earlier. His eyes were instantly drawn to her breasts where he can easily make out the shadows of her nipples under the pink top, and….well he was very much distracted.

"Yeah," he mumbled, "What's your point?"

"Urgh!" Lucy threw her arms up angrily. "Men!" and she then promptly stormed out and refused to talk to him for the rest of the day.

He had to really grovel for her forgiveness this time but he reckoned what really got her to forgive him was what he said next;

"You know I'm only the best because you make me the best." And that was the truth, she had once sat him down with a diagram of all things when he was dating this girl, and…well he wasn't thinking about the girl when the lesson had been over. "You're the best, Luce. The very best."

"Oh, Natsu…"

And she then swooped in and kissed him, another best kiss he ever had because Lucy was THE best.

And he proved that over and over.

FTFTFTFTFTFTFT

It was a lazy day in Fairy Tail café, and the whole gang had taken over the sofa area in the middle. Laxus and Gajeel sat in opposite armchairs, with Mira sitting on Laxus' lap, and Freed and Bickslow balanced themselves on the arms of his chair, while Levy sat on Gajeel's chair arm and no one else dared to go near the other one. Cana lounged on the sofa with her legs over Gray and Juvia (who was snuggling into Gray's naked chest), and Erza and Jellal were awkwardly squashed next to them. Meanwhile Loke, Jet, Droy, and Lisanna were sprawled out on the floor, with the triplets (The Triple P everyone had taken to calling them) were snoozing in their pram.

"Hey," Cana piped up randomly. "Do you guys think there's something going on between Natsu and Lucy?"

Everyone turned to look at the two best friends. They were leaning against the coffee bar while they were waiting for Kinana to serve them their coffees. They were stood a little too closely to one another, Lucy was resting one cheek on her hand (with her elbow resting upon the bar) as she seemed to be gazing at Natsu adoringly. Natsu, however, was right up in Lucy's personal space, and one of his hands seemed to be toying with the hem of her skirt as the tips of his fingers brushed her inner thigh.

"Nah," they all chorused before going back to their coffees.

Idiots, Gajeel thought in a grunt.

After all it was so obvious that Salamander and Lucy were in a relationship.

FTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFT

They had another fight again, and this time Natsu really thought it was going to be the end.

It had started when they had an idea to sneak away for a weekend alone. After all recently it had gotten a lot harder to have a night together especially when Loke was waking up each time Lucy tried to sneak into Natsu's apartment. The plan started to go pear-shape when they both used the same place for their cover-ups which caused Lucy to get really mean with him. And then when they arrived Lucy was disgusted with like every bedroom they had (the weird, clean, neat-freak, she is), and they ended up in a nasty argument when Natsu got frustrated (he just wanted to watch his show!) and the weekend ended on a bitter note, with no sex, as Lucy stormed into her apartment in a huff.

Natsu was constantly reminded by this terrible event as Lucy had taken to avoiding him, Loke told him the hotel found his eye-liner (Damnit, Luce! Now Loke thought he wears make-up), and then there was a weird moment when he and Lucy looked at each other and she ran back into her apartment.

Which caused him to chase after her, having lost all patience.

"Look!" he snapped. "I know we've broken up but that doesn't mean we can't still be friends because-"

"Broken up?!" Lucy interrupted horrified. "What do you mean we're broken up?!"

"- I really need you, wait," Natsu halted to a stop. "You mean….we're not broken up."

"No!" Lucy shouted. "Why would you think that?!"

"Well," Natsu scratched the back of his head, "we had that big fight and I thought…"

"Natsu, you idiot!" Lucy snapped exasperated. "That was just a fight. We're not going to break up over it."

"We're not broken up?" Natsu asked again, unable to believe his luck. Lucy hadn't broken up with him! He can still kiss her, and snuggle up with her in bed, and have lots of hot, rampaging sex!

"Of course not," Lucy rolled her eyes. "Natsu if you end a relationship whenever something goes wrong then you'll never….oh," Lucy's eyes widened, "everything makes so much more sense now!"

Natsu decided to ignore the dig at all of his previous, extremely short-lived, relationships. "So we're still together," Natsu pressed. Because he had to have it said multiple times to reassure himself she was still his.

"Yes," Lucy rolled her eyes again. "We had a fight, we dealt with it, and now we carry on. Welcome to an adult relationship."

"We're in a relationship?!"

"I'm afraid so."

She was probably thinking Natsu was going to do a huge freak out like the commitment phobic he was but instead he grabbed her by the shoulders and kissed her with everything he got

And all he could think as she wound her arms round his neck and kissed him back just as passionately was; Mine, mine, mine, mine.

He was pretty damn happy.

Though it was instantly ruined when Loke figured out they were together. And all because of an eyeliner (whatever the hell it was), if it hadn't been Natsu's quick thinking then ginger bastard would have definitely blurted it out to the rest who were lounging in Lucy's apartment for no other reason than they had no lives (so Levy, Jellal, Gray, Juvia, and Gajeel).

Though to be honest he was surprised none of them reacted to him punching Loke so hard that he knocked the git out.

He then dragged Loke off, with a quick lie about him eating the last pizza slice, and tied the arsehole up to his lounge chair.

Natsu would like to think it was his threatening manner that got Loke to promise not to spill but it was most likely Lucy's…..she's terrifying.

But she was his. And that was all that mattered.

FTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFT

"OH MY GOD!"

When Levy discovered Natsu's boxers tucked behind one of Lucy's cushions, she temporarily lost her soul and wondered if this was the end of her secret relationship. Until Loke burst out with; "They're mine!"

Oh thank God for Loke! Ever since he found out about Natsu and Lucy's secret relationship he had ben super supportive (well, okay, at first he whined about Lucy not coming to him because they would so have made a better couple but after a Lucy Kick and Natsu punching him, he saw the light on that one) and had been helping them hide their relationship and pretending not to have seen them act all couple-y about his apartment. And now he was covering for Natsu without a second thought.

"What is wrong with you?" Levy shrieked as she threw the boxers into Loke's face. Loke shuddered but said nothing. "Jeeze! I knew you were a pervert, after all who has sex with that man people? But I didn't think you were that much of a pervert. Who the hell takes the boxers off in a girl's apartment?"

"I was…..hot?"

"Man," Cana laughed, finding the whole thing hysterical, "Maybe Gray's stripping habit is contagious."

Whatever funny side that could have been found in this situation was lost the moment Erza decided to voice her opinion. She had been very stressed since her failed wedding. She had almost convinced Mystogen to come back to New York and have a proper go at their marriage but he had wanted her to cut Jellal out of her life completely and had almost succeeded in doing so (Erza sold all her furniture to Juvia by simply mentioning it had all been touched by Gray) when Erza just couldn't do it. It wasn't in her to completely blow off a friend.

To make things worse, this disastrous end of a short lived marriage had left her homeless, jobless (due to a venting moment that left her employer convinced she was deranged), and very temperamental. So she instantly exploded with; "How dare you take your underwear of in a lady's apartment?!" Erza snarled furiously. "I ought to kill you, you disgusting pervert! In fact," she snatched up Lucy's umbrella stand, the really cute one shaped like a goat, and took a swipe at Loke. "Prepare to die!"

"EEK!"

Lucy grimaced as Loke ran through her apartment and Erza chased after him, knocking everything down in her wake. Several nice vases had been thoroughly destroyed, and eventually Erza cornered poor Loke in the bathroom and beat him bloody. So now Lucy had blood stains to clean out of her tiles…..great.

"Lucy," Erza bowed deeply to her, "I have protected the virtue of yourself and your apartment."

"Erm…" Lucy sweat-dropped. "Thanks?"

She had to make Loke his favourite dinner and tend to his wounds. This went on for three days straight when Loke had to cover up for various other things (why did Natsu have to leave that naked photo of her around?!) and in the end Loke out right refused to do it anymore.

Not that she can blame him.

At this point when his latest flame accused him of making a sex tape, Erza's rage tantrum led him to being hospitalised for a broken arm, fractured ribs, and a concussion…..

A concussion that she may have made worse when he suggested she should thank him with a blow job.

FTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFT

Lisanna and Bickslow were having their first night out since the triplets were born. As a married couple with three kids who are cried in the middle of the night, literally after they dealt with one of the other ones, this was a really exciting thing.

Lisanna dressed up in her best dress, Bickslow actually washed his hair, and they were firmly kicked out by Mirajane when they started to consider staying in for the babies after all Piper had that rash, Peter was suffering stomach problems, and Pepper…..well needed all the love they could give for calling her Pepper.

They ended up in a nice restaurant and just toasted their first night out when Lisanna instantly spat out her wine.

"Is that Natsu and Lucy?!"

Bickslow instantly whirled round and across the restaurant was two of their best friends. Normally they would have joined them and have an awesome night but he then took in the fact that they seemed to be holding hands over the table, staring into each other's eyes in a love struck manner, and then, the icing of the cake, they leaned in for a kiss –

Bickslow's jaw literally dropped at that.

"Man…." He rubbed his eyes. "We're more sleep deprived than I thought."

FTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFT

Thanksgiving took a downward turn when it was revealed (by Cana who could never keep her mouth shut after she drinks gin) that Lucy had sort of, kind of on purpose, totally by accident still, cut Natsu's pinkie toe off.

"You were wearing sandals in November!" Lucy protested when Natsu glowered at her. "Who the hell does that?!"

"They looked cool!" Natsu yelled.

"They looked stupid," Gray muttered.

"Agreed," Laxus grunted.

"I can't believe you did that to me!" Natsu wailed childishly. "All because I sad your arse looked big. That is so unfair!"

"It was an accident!" Lucy cried out. "I was just following Mira and Cana's advice. They said the ultimate revenge was to seduce you out of your clothes and then chuck you out of the house." Natsu raised an eyebrow at the pair who shrugged, Jeeze, did they think he was Gray or something? And then he raised his eyebrow even higher at Luce, who sucked at the whole seduction thing. After all who the hell uses a knife?! "Oh shut up!" she snapped. "And you deserved it. You wouldn't lay off of my weight for the whole year. I'm still the same size as I am now, you arsehole!"

"Oh come on it was a joke!" Natsu argued. "That doesn't mean you have the right to hack off my toes!"

"It was just your pinkie toe and they were able to stich it back on!"

"They called me Sir Limps-a-Lot!" Natsu whirled round to look at the guys as the girls were obviously being unhelpful what with Levy returning to her book, Juvia too busy tracing Gray's biceps, Lisanna was bottle feeding one of the babies, Erza was playing peek-a-boo with the other two babies, Evergreen didn't care, and Cana and Mira had gone back to reminiscing their college days, "You agree with me, right?" he asked his fellow man.

Loke ran a hand through his hair. "Actually I'm on Lucy's side," he said, "sorry."

"Same here," Bickslow nodded.

"Me too," Jellal agreed.

"I've never been on your side," Gajeel pointed out. "Idiot."

"WHAT THE FUCK?!" Natsu exploded as Elfman, Gray, Laxus, and Freed also all indicated their support for Lucy. "WHY?!"

"You never call a girl fat," Elfman explained primly. "It isn't MANLY!"

At this point, frustrated, irritated, and hurt to find out that Lucy's maiming of him had been sort of on purpose, Natsu got up and stormed out of the apartment. Lucy tried to talk to him but he ignored her as he petted Happy until she walked out with a sigh. He really didn't know what to make of this. Hearing Gray snicker loudly outside of his apartment did not help matters, especially when he heard him say; "Sir Limps-a-Lot, that was my doing." the only reason Natsu didn't rush out and punch the fucking twat was because Happy dug his claws into his leg and demanded more attention from him.

He sulked for another few hours before he realised he really missed Lucy and now he thought it through, about how Lucy panicked, and how she helped him to emergency (even if Gray laughed the entire time and Erza did the driving), and how she soothed him through motion sickness from both the car and the bed on wheels, and held his hand during the sewing the toe back on thing, and then she took care of him for days afterwards and….

Well he really couldn't stay mad after that. And that was when Lucy came back in with her raincoat on. "Hey," she murmured.

"Hi," he replied quietly.

"Oh you're speaking to me again," was it just him or did Lucy said a little disappointed and irritated, "so much for doing this to help apologise."

And that was when Lucy opened her coat to reveal underwear made entirely from the thanksgiving turkey. Natsu couldn't help but burst into laughter and then grin leeringly at his gorgeous girlfriend drenched in turkey. He had begged and begged to eat food off her for weeks now and she always refused.

If he knew he just had to sulk for hours he would have done it long ago. "God," he gasped between chuckles, "I love you."

Lucy's face was a perfect picture of stunned surprised. "What was that?" she whispered.

"Erm," Natsu fumbled for a moment. Crap! He wasn't supposed to have said that! It was way too soon. "I was talking to the turkey!" he lied quickly.

Lucy's eye twitched at that. "Just eat it quickly!" she snapped. "The grease feels disgusting against my skin!" Natsu laughed again and slowly made his way towards her. "God," she grumbled to herself. "You better be grateful for this."

"Trust me," Natsu mumbled against her shoulder, "I'm very, very, thankful," and then he took a big bite.

FTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFT

Like the rest of their gang, Levy just walked into Lucy's apartment without knocking. Lucy had totally blown her off for their fun evening of movies based on their favourite books, and Gajeel was having a poker night that she did not want to sit around and watch. Therefore Levy decided to sit in the quiet apartment with her book (while fully interrogate her so-called best friend when she gets in as to why laundry is more important to her) and was in the middle of helping herself to some orange juice when she heard Lucy laugh in her bedroom.

It sounded a great deal like Lucy was on the phone and admittedly Levy's curiosity got the better of her. She carefully pried the extension phone off from its charger and pressed the connection button. "- so I had to tell Levy I was doing laundry," Lucy said in a purr.

Levy frowned at that. She knew she was being blown off! But what for?

"Laundry, huh?" Natsu said in a weird, husky, sexy voice (Natsu, sexy? Ewwwwwwwwwwww!). Levy's mouth dropped open at the sound of it. Lucy was blowing Levy off for Natsu? What the hell was going on? "Is that my new nickname?"

"No," Lucy said coyly, "you know what your nickname is Mr Big-"

"OH MY GOD!"

Levy instantly dropped the phone and unfortunately also the glass she was holding which shattered. Lucy instantly came running out, looking worried. "Levy?!" she cried out. "What are you doing here?"

"Erm…." Levy mumbled embarrassedly, "I wanted a glass of orange juice and then I saw a spider," she lied helplessly.

"Jeeze," Lucy muttered to herself. "I really need to change the locks."

Yeah because that worked so well in college.

In the end Levy ended up sandwiched between Lucy and Natsu as they watched Stardust for the thousandth time. It was so awkward and all Levy could think was – how the hell could these two be doing it and Lu-Chan not tell me?!

She's seriously starting to think this whole best friend thing was a one-sided deal.

FTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFT

Much to Mira and Laxus' relief just as Erza started a search for a new apartment (she had been staying with them since her failed marriage, and Laxus was about to kill both his wife and surrogate sister they argued so much) the guy that lived in the apartment in the building opposite Lucy, the one they dubbed as Ugly Naked Guy, was moving out, and they were now all viewing the apartment.

"I can't believe how nice this apartment is," Erza said in awe as she took in the strange suede texture walls, and the nice dark wooden floorboards. "I haven't seen a nicer apartment since Lucy's."

"I know," Mirajane agreed, "how have we never noticed how pretty this place is?"

"Probably because your eyes are always drawn to the big fat naked guy," Laxus said dryly. "Though God knows why."

"Oh honey," Mira said sweetly, "you know you're the only one for me."

"I have to agree with Laxus though," Gray said from the bedroom, "we did pay way too much attention to Ugly Naked Guy than we should."

"I wouldn't worry," Cana drawled from the sofa, "we paid just as much attention to the hot sexy naked guy in Lucy's apartment."

"Love Rival!" Juvia glowered at Cana.

"If I was you," Gajeel grunted at Erza, "I'd disinfect everything before I move in."

"That's the plan," she nodded.

"So you're definitely going to apply for it?" Evergreen pressed. "Because if you're not, I am."

"But Ever what about our apartment?" Elfman said a little hurt. "IT IS MANLY!"

"What makes you think I want to live in a manly apartment?"

"Just go and apply," Freed said tiredly to Erza, "before she actually intimidates both Elfman and the landlord into giving her this place."

Erza ran for it and everyone else ("Why the fuck are you guys even here?!" Laxus had barked when they all joined them for the apartment viewing. "Eh," Gray had been the one to reply with a shrug, "We were very bored,") carried on admiring the apartment.

"Hey look!" Mira said excitedly. "You can see right into Lucy's apartment from here!"

Cana, Juvia, and Gray instantly moved interested to see what Lucy's apartment looked from this angle. "Oh look," Cana said rather entertained, "You can see Natsu and Lucy, HEY NATSU AND- OH MY FUCKING GOD!"

"MY EYES!" Gray screamed childishly. "THEY BURN!"

"OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD!" Mira squealed delightedly. "NATSU AND LUCY! NATSU AND LUCY!"

By then everyone crowded the window and were gawking of the sight of Natsu ripping Lucy's cardigan off while Lucy was fumbling with his belt.

"Urgh," Laxus groaned, "I think I'm going to be sick."

"Hey," Erza's voice could be heard from behind, "what's all the screaming about?"

Everyone stiffened. The last time one of the boys was caught kissing one of the girls without telling Erza he was in a permanent relationship with her, he ended up with a broken jaw (Gajeel still whines about it), and that was before Erza had temper problems because of her failed marriage. If she saw Natsu and Lucy right now (who were literally now doing it against the window – Ew!) then Natsu would have his balls hacked off with a nail filer and that would just be the beginning.

"We're just so excited for you sweetie!" Cana lied loudly. "We're celebrating you getting this apartment!"

And that was when they all had to jump up and down, looks like complete clowns, and make loud noises like buffoons in order to distract Erza from the window….

Actually, according to Laxus, they were just acting like their normal day to day selves.

FTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFT

Everyone sat numbly in the Fairy Tail café, their coffees untouched, and what was even more shocking the brownies had yet to be devoured.

No one could bring themselves to eat or drink they were too shocked…..and traumatised by the sight their eyes had been objected to.

"I can't believe they've been lying to us!" Mirajane suddenly snapped breaking the silence as her blue eyes blazed with a barely suppressed fury. "How long has that thing being going on anyway?"

"Since London," both Loke and Gajeel said absentmindedly.

"YOU KNEW?!"

Both Loke and Gajeel almost fell out of their chairs as everyone screamed at them.

"Oh come on!" Gajeel barked. "It was fucking obvious. They were always holding hands and looking gaga for one another!"

"Yeah," Gray agreed awkwardly, "but they've always done that."

"I'm fairly certain before London Bunny girl would have slapped Salamander for sticking his hand up her skirt," Gajeel said dryly, "which he has done repeatedly in front the lot of you."

Several people sweat-dropped at this and some looked rather depressed that they had been so stupid and blind to not have noticed. After all, Lucy had strangely enough stopped parading boyfriends (that they may or may not have a hand in making them disappear), and Natsu was a lot cleaner in general, and they did spend an unnatural amount of time doing laundry together.

Cana decided enough was enough, emphasised by slamming her fist against the coffee table. "We ought to make them tell us," she declared passionately, "as we are their friends and we deserve to know the truth from them not by accidentally witnessing them doing the nasty."

"How do we do that?" Freed asked curiously.

"Hmm….." Mira looked on thoughtfully and then her face suddenly lit up with an idea. "What if one of the boys flirt with Lucy till Natsu gets so jealous that he comes out with it?"

"NO!"

"Do we look fucking suicidal?"

"Juvia will not allow Gray-sama flirt with Love Rival!"

"Bunny Girl will slay us all alive."

"Okay, what about Natsu?" Cana suggested as it became apparent that the boys were about as useful as a dung beetle in this situation. "He is the weaker link out of the two. Emotionally I mean. If we got Lisanna to-"

"Oh no!" Lisanna interrupted. "That ship sailed and sank years ago."

"And I think my babies will have something to say about their mother flirting with a man that is not their Daddy," Bickslow frowned. As if to agree with their father the triplets started to cry for their mother's attention from his arms, and the plan was instantly squashed as Lisanna started to breast feed.

Cana eyed the other girls, Mira, Levy, and Evergreen were all in a relationship with someone else. Juvia might as well be in one with her obsession with Gray, they couldn't ask Erza to do it because….well that means they would have to tell Erza (and no one wants to do that), and they couldn't ask any of their other friends outside of the main group, so that just left Cana.

"Well then," Cana flipped her hair arrogantly, "I shall have to do it."

The boys started to laugh, Gajeel had never laughed so freely….ever. "Please," he snorted between guffaws. "You could never seduce Salamander. He's too clueless."

"You?" Was all Loke got out between giggles.

"What?" Cana pouted, inwardly seething at their derision. "I can do it!"

"Sure," Gray agreed, "any other bloke would be pant-less within seconds if you flirted with them," at this Juvia glowered jealously at Cana, "but this is Natsu. You need to rip off your top and tell him where to put it and he'll still probably think you mean a pat on the back."

"If he's that stupid," Cana raised an eyebrow, "then he wouldn't have been doing Lucy up the window."

"Urgh!"

"Don't remind me," Laxus looked sick to the stomach, "I'm going to need bleach to rinse out the memory."

"Ooh," Natsu's childish voice floated above them, "what happened to make Laxus sick. Did Gray take his boxers off again?"

Everyone jumped as they realised Natsu and Lucy were about to join them. They were once again holding hands and looked rather ruffled, flushed, and a little too pleased with themselves….

Honestly, how did they not realise before now?

Cana decided it was now or never to go with the plan. She jumped up, pressed herself against Natsu's free arm, and batted her eyelashes up at him. "Hey big boy," she purred, "I was hoping you were going to join us."

Natsu blinked. "You…were?" he asked bewildered.

After all Cana had always been more Loke's and Gray's and Lucy's friend than his. "Yes," Cana drawled out the word, "I have missed the presence of those strong, big, biceps," she popped the 'p' and winked flirtatiously.

Natsu just stared at her in confusion while Lucy was seething on his other arm.

The other members of the group were unsure if that meant the plan was successful or not…..but they did know with Cana at their side, they were so going to win this game.

FTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFT

Natsu wasn't even sure how he ended up in this fucked up situation.

It started when Cana began to flirt with him in the coffee shop (yeah. Cana was flirting with him) and it began to get more and more terrifying as it felt like everyone was watching him and Lucy while she was doing this.

That was when Lucy realised that the others had to know about them and confronted Loke (i.e. scared him out of his wits while he was trying to enjoy a slice of pizza) into telling them the truth. Furious that they, especially Cana, were playing with them, Lucy and he decided to play them at their own game.

And that was how Natsu ended up in his apartment, with a topless Cana (it's bad enough on a normal day she only wore a bra! Now she had nothing on!) and was about to rub lotion on her before they engage what was supposed to be a whole night of sex.

Personally Natsu would rather clip his toe nails like Lucy kept nagging him to than spend a night with Cana but Lucy really wanted to win this game and have Cana be the one to back down.

Cana's lips got closer to his, and closer, and closer, and then –

Natsu leaped away from her. "I can't do this!" he cried out horrified.

"I knew it!" Cana cried out smugly. "And why can't you do it?" she goaded him.

"BECAUSE I LOVE LUCY!" Natsu bellowed. Unable to keep it to himself anymore, Cana's jaw dropped at that while everyone who was standing outside in the hall (which seemed to literally be everyone but Erza) stumbled in looking shocked. Not that Natsu cared, he just relished being able to tell the truth for the first time in months. "YES THAT'S RIGHT, I LOVE HER! I. LOVE. HER!" it was then when Lucy slowly appeared out of the bathroom, looking stunned and delighted all at the same time, and Natsu couldn't help but pull her into his arms for a tight hug. "I love you Lucy," he mumbled into her hair.

Lucy pulled away from him and smiled radiantly, "I love you too," she declared happily, and he pulled her back to him for a kiss of celebration.

"Oh my God, you guys," Cana started to tear up, "I thought you were just doing it not that you were in love."

Everyone else suddenly spoke up with their thoughts and congratulations. and then before Natsu and Lucy knew it, they were smothered into a ball of love.

"Oh, erm, one more thing," Lucy pulled away from the world's biggest (and most awkward with Laxus and Gajeel being involved) group hug. "Erza doesn't know…..please don't tell her just yet."

"…."

The entire group stared at them in horror, disgust (this was mostly Loke who was thoroughly sick of keeping it a secret), and a sort of gormless stunned look.

It was Laxus that decided to speak on the behalf of everyone;

"It's your funeral."

FTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFT

Erza was incredibly nervous as she showed her boss her new apartment. She was trying so hard to show that they was newly reformed and wasn't likely to kick someone in the wall for eating her slice of cake (even though it was clearly labelled with a note stating it belonged to her and it was Mirajane's Strawberry Top Secret Delight Recipe, and the inconsiderate arse threw half of it in the bin). She had just been in the middle of explaining that she was also taking anger management classes when she spotted Natsu and Lucy in the window, she smiled fondly at the sight of her friends when suddenly Natsu and Lucy collided into one, very heated, and messy kiss….

"Miss Scarlet?"

"Oh my god!" Erza barely choked out as Natsu unzipped Lucy's dress and Lucy repaid the favour by ripping off his shirt. "Oh my god!"

"Miss Scarlet?" Her boss repeated. "Are you all right?"

It wasn't long before all of Natsu's and Lucy's clothes were completely ton off of one another and Natsu was now doing something Erza really didn't want to see being done to her best friend's breasts.

"OH MY GOD!"

Erza was completely horrified, infuriated, and disturbed at the sight of the boy she considered as a little brother and the girl she considered her best and dearest friend being bare naked and thrusting at one another…..urgh! It was so overwhelming that she blacked out completely.

"Miss Scarlet!"

Erza's boss completely freaked out as his employee that he had put on sabbatical had completely passed out and had a small trail of blood coming out of her nose.

While he was glad she seemed to no longer have fits of temper, it did concern him that she was now having other fits, and he decided it was best that she was let go after all….

(This did nothing for Erza's temper and as soon as she escaped hospital she felt totally justified in stealing the drip stand to batter Natsu to death with.)

FTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFT

After the near-murder of Natsu at the hands of Erza Scarlet, life went back to its normal boring chaos.

Lucy and Natsu were now openly dating which was a great deal more boring than sneaking around but at least Natsu didn't have to make up weird, awkward, lies about stealing food whenever Jellal caught him searching for condom (now it was a whole different level of awkwardness).

Things happened, Cana dated a policeman, Loke flirted with every girl he met, Gray was arrested five more times for public indecency (which was how Cana dated a policeman), Erza got a job as a professor (those poor kids), Jellal and Erza almost got back together again, and Mirajane decided it was time she had a pregnancy for herself (before Elfman asks her to carry his babies too).

Life was good….but boring and normal once again. It wasn't to say that Natsu and Lucy weren't enjoying the public displays of affection and the strengthening of their relationships but they did kinda miss the thrill of sneaking around.

"I know what you mean," Natsu said when Lucy explained this during a Saturday night session of cuddles and TV, "this is nice. Really nice. But I liked the sneaking around and the danger of almost being caught, it pumped the blood and made it even more exciting."

"Hmm," Lucy hummed in agreement as she snuggled in closer to Natsu, "kinda makes you consider eloping to get a thrill of secrecy again."

There was a moment of silence and then -

"Wanna get married in Las Vegas without telling anyone?"

"….alright!"

Natsu and Lucy then quickly scrambled off the sofa, packed a bag each, and legged it down the stairs as they desperately hoped not to crash into one of their friends and be forced to explain where exactly they were going.

"Come on!" Natsu urged her. "Faster! Before Juvia or Levy come over like you know they will. Or Erza spots us and shoots us down."

"I'm trying!" Lucy gasped. "These stupid shoes aren't making it easy though!"

"Come here!"

Lucy squealed as Natsu suddenly scooped her up into a bridal hold and then carried on running down the street like that until they found a taxi.

The next five days were the most thrilling of their life as they hunted down the means for a perfect quickie wedding and then spent the rest of their time in the hotel room.

They would have stayed longer but neither of their bosses were impressed with them disappearing for several days without informing them and they had no choice but to go back or start their married life unemployed.

And when they finally got home no one was impressed with them for keeping secrets, again, especially the girls as they all wanted to be Lucy's Maid of Honour.