Summary: Nashi is about to go on her first date with her first ever boyfriend. Lucy might be excited about it but Natsu is most certainly not….

Pairings: Natsu/Lucy, parental Lucy/Nashi, parental Natsu/Nashi, implied Happy/Charle, mentions of parental Gajeel/Gilly, implied Jellal/Erza, and sort of Nashi/Edward.

Author's Note: Thank you everyone for giving me TWENTY ONE HUNDRED! Reviews. I'm so glad that everyone is enjoying this so far!

"Mum," Nashi's said rather shyly (how uncharacteristic of her, instantly Lucy suspected she broke something….again), "I need your help."

Lucy looked up from her work, a poor attempt of fictionalising her adventures of Natsu, poor because the main male character resembled Natsu far too much to the point she had ended up jotting is name everywhere, and looked at her daughter. Nashi, age fourteen, looked far too shifty for Lucy's liking, as she toyed with the frayed hem of Lucy's old denim waistcoat, and switched her weight on one foot to the other, while avoiding all eye contact with Lucy.

"Nashi Dragneel," Lucy said warningly, "if you have cast another spell without properly researching it-"

"No, not that!" Nashi interrupted indignantly. "I learnt my lesson after I accidentally gave Happy antlers."

Don't ask….just don't. It wasn't a very good Christmas with Happy sobbing every five minutes whenever he caught his reflection on something, and Charle was incredibly unimpressed as well.

"Well then, if you have hospitalised Ur again-"

"I haven't done that for months!" Nashi protested. "Not that he doesn't deserve it," she added in a dark mutter.

"Nashi-"

"She's got a date," a cutesy voice interrupted. The voice was so cute and adorable that if Lucy didn't know better she would have been deceived in thinking the little kitten that climbed out from behind Nashi's pigtails was innocent and sweet as she sounded. She wasn't. Stella was just as bad as the father she inherited her blue fur from. "Nashi liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiikes someone!" the kitten purred evilly.

"Shut up, Stell!" Nashi shrieked, her cheeks were bright red.

"Oh my God!" Lucy gasped as she realised Stella was telling the truth. Nashi had a date! Nashi was going to have a boyfriend! "My baby is growing up! Just wait until I tell your father!" she said excitedly.

"Mum!" Nashi moaned. "You can't tell Dad!"

Lucy raised an eyebrow at that. There was no secrets between her and Natsu, everyone knew that. "Why not?" she asked.

"He'll ruin it!" Nashi cried out. "E-ur, my boyfriend won't want to go on another date with me, ever again!"

Lucy's raised eyebrow went a little higher. E-ur? A very interesting name for a boy…. "Nonsense," Lucy snorted at her daughter dramatics about Natsu. "I went on plenty of dates with other men when I was just a little bit older than you and your father never once ruined them."

(Nashi raised an eyebrow and decided against pointing out that the fact that her Mum married her Dad instead of one of these other men, then he must have successfully ruined her dates…..that and she knows he did because he told her some bedtime stories about setting her Mum's nasty date's backside on fire.)

"Yeah, but you're not his kid," Nashi pointed out. "I'll end up like poor Gilly-Chan! Do you know the last guy that tried to go out with her was scared shitless because Uncle Gajeel answered the door in his shadow iron form? Knowing Dad, he'll set E- my boyfriend on fire!"

"Language!" Lucy barked (though she knew it was useless, Nashi had Natsu's mouth as well as his attitude, and habit of destroying things, and habit of beating people up, and…..was there anything of Lucy in her own child?!). "And in your uncle Gajeel's defence, Gilly-Chan was only thirteen at the time. She was a bit too young at the time for a sixteen year old to be sniffing around her."

Nashi mumbled her agreement. No one had liked Gilly's boyfriend that lasted all but five minutes but that really wasn't the point Nashi was trying to make. "I just want to look nice for my date," Nashi said finally, "and someone to distract Dad so I can be taken out by a boy without any problems. Is that too much to ask?"

No, no it wasn't. And any other time if her daughter had asked her that, Lucy would have no problems agreeing to her daughter's request (well, okay, she would have some. She really couldn't keep a secret from Natsu. He does this intense looking thing and Lucy ends up spilling everything. And she means everything.), and helping her daughter find the right outfit for her first ever date, and then distract Natsu with a great big still on fire steak for dinner while she slipped out…..unfortunately this was not any other time, unfortunately for her child as she was distracted by her rant (and petting her new Exceed partner who, now fulfilled her daily teasing, fell into a deep sleep in Nashi's arms) that she didn't realise her father had been standing behind her for the last three or so minutes.

"What do you mean a boy wants to take my daughter out?!" Natsu growled furiously as his yes blazed intensely and flames began to lick his body. Lucy must not drool, this was not the time to admire how sexy her husband was….. "I forbid any boy to date my daughter! Not unless he wants to go through me, first!"

Nashi's jaw twitched when she suddenly whirled round and punched her father hard in the gut. "What gives you the right to decide my love life?!" she shrieked.

Lucy sighed as she snatched Stella out of the way (Happy and Charle would never forgive her if she let their only child get squashed by Natsu and Nashi, or burned, or concussed or….oh, you get the picture) and left her husband and child to their fight.

So much for a quiet afternoon writing.

FTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFT

Nashi won in the end, sort of.

Mid-way through a very intense fight for her right to date whoever she wishes, her mother interrupted with a swift kick at her father's head that sent him flying out of the window, and then told Nashi that she was more than happy to help her find the right outfit.

They were midway figuring out the perfect hairstyle with Cancer when her father came stomping back in the house. Instead of yelling and setting things on fire (i.e. the usual way Dad deals with his problems), her father decided to try and convince her mother that Nashi was a. too young to be dating, and b. the nameless, unknown, boy was moving far too quickly.

"How can we trust him not to sweep her off her feet and run away with her?" her father growled furiously. "After all on our first date you agreed to run away from the magic council with me and join my guild."

"Natsu!" her mother hissed between gritted teeth. "For the last time, that wasn't our first date! That was our first meeting!"

"Oh," her father blinked, "well then, remember just before we went on our first date you agreed to be my partner for the rest of our lives!" he said suddenly triumphant.

"I don't recall the rest of our lives bit," her mother said calmly, "and that wasn't our first date!" she snapped as she smacked him over the head with a fashion magazine. "That was just before our first job that you tricked me into doing!"

"Aha!" her father cried out. "So you agree boys are deceitful little creatures and shouldn't be near our daughter?"

"You're a deceitful little-"

Thankfully that was when someone knocked on the front door. Now dressed (in a cute lilac dress that Nashi forgot she owned because she really didn't do dresses – blee!) and her hair perfectly styled (it actually looked a bit like her mother's silky locks rather than her father's bushy, untamed, mess); "You look fabulous, ebi," Cancer said as he disappeared into the spirit world, Nashi rushed to the front door.

"It'll be him!" she said excitedly. "I'll get it."

"Oh no you don't!" her father shouted as he ran after her. "Not until I have had a few words!"

"Natsu!" her mother snarled as she chased after them both. "Don't you dare or so help me I'll-"

Nashi almost beat them to the door but unfortunately her father was an unnatural freak of nature that defied middle age by being fit, young, and healthy. He leaped over the sofa and skidded past Nashi in time to answer the door. "GO AWAY, YOU BRAT!" he bellowed furiously. "YOU ARE A WORTHLESS ICE WORM THAT DOESN'T DESERIVE THE ATTENTIONS OF MY DAUGHTER. GO….ah…." her father trailed off sheepishly as he realised it wasn't some ice worm he imagined was going to sweep Nashi off her feet but her actual date (oh the shame! Where was Virgo and her digging magic when she needed it?!) And his parents, who obviously decided to embarrass him as much as her mother would have embarrassed her (his mother definitely had a camera in her hands). "Hello, Erza," her father said weakly. "Jellal…..Edward."

"Natsu…." Aunt Erza growled as a dark purple aura of anger and hatred leaked out from her, Nashi naturally took several steps back and her mother pulled her into a protective hug when Aunt Erza suddenly snapped and punched her father, hard, in the jaw. "WHAT DO YOU MEAN MY PRECIOUS SON ISN'T WORTHY ENOUGH?!" she roared furiously as she transformed from her normal clothes into a terrifying armour and a large battle axe. "I'LL SHOW YOU WORTHLESS ICE WORM!"

"EEK!"

"Hello Jellal," Nashi's sane and normal, and quite lovely, parent said as she nodded to Edward's father. "Would you like to come in for a cup of tea?"

There was a loud crash that caused Nashi and Edward to wince but both their sensible and normal parents ignored it as if it had never happened. "That would be nice, thank you Lucy," Uncle Jellal said. "Now," he turned to Edward, "You and Nashi have fun on your date."

"How exciting," her mother said as she let Nashi escape her hold, "I wasn't expecting Edward at all. Oh you two look so cute together!"

Oh God!

Just kill Nashi now.

Edward looked like he was trying to make his head explode his face was so red.

"Oh no!" Aunt Erza said furiously as she threw Nashi's father into the sofa. "I will not have my son dating this man's daughter," she glowered down at the pathetic mess Nashi had to call Dad. "I forbid this date!" she declared passionately.

"Yeah?" Nashi's father croaked. "Well I forbid it too. I won't have Nashi date some crazy she devil's spawn – YEOUCH!"

"Go," Nashi's mother whispered as she ushered them both out of the door, "we'll deal with this. You two kids just have fun. No sex!"

Uncle Jellal nodded in agreement as Nashi and Edward both died of embarrassment as the door closed in their faces.

After all of that (as they walked down the path they could hear Nashi's mother kicking everyone into submission) both Nashi and Edward couldn't help but feel no date would be worth this humiliation, hassle, and dramatics from their parents. Their awkwardness and lack of….well anything romantic, cemented that feeling.

In the end Edward and Nashi decided that they will not date.

After all they worked much better as friends and they really didn't want to have to deal with their parents' dramatics (Nashi came home to find her father covered in bandages and according to Edward, his mother limped for two days while growling at the slightest mention of Nashi's father).

It had absolutely nothing to do with anyone else.

(Especially not Ur Fullbuster, so can someone tell Aunt Mirajane to stop suggesting that?)

Definitely not anyone else.